1
00:00:05,378 --> 00:00:07,380
MAXWELL: So did you have a nice evening?

2
00:00:07,447 --> 00:00:11,584
Oh, I'll tell you, it
was a beautiful wedding.

3
00:00:11,652 --> 00:00:14,387
Val and I cried our eyes out.

4
00:00:14,454 --> 00:00:16,723
She made some gorgeous
bride, that Dr. Quinn.

5
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:21,161
<i>Fran, where's our TV Guide?</i>

6
00:00:21,228 --> 00:00:23,630
Right here. Give me your best shot.

7
00:00:23,697 --> 00:00:26,065
All righty. Channel 29,

8
00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:29,168
<i>what follows The Ghost and Mrs. Muir?</i>

9
00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:31,637
<i>That would be Family Affair,</i>

10
00:00:31,705 --> 00:00:35,341
the episode where Mr. French accidentally
drops Mrs. Beasley off the terrace,

11
00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:37,811
<i>followed by The Munsters
with Marilyn Number Two</i>

12
00:00:37,878 --> 00:00:39,578
<i>followed by Bewitched
with Darrin Number One</i>

13
00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:41,580
but Mrs. Kravitz Number Two.

14
00:00:43,517 --> 00:00:45,251
Bravo, Miss Fine.

15
00:00:45,318 --> 00:00:47,020
You seem to know more about '60s television

16
00:00:47,087 --> 00:00:49,756
than most people at
your age have forgotten.

17
00:00:49,823 --> 00:00:52,091
Well, are you calling
me old or just stupid?

18
00:00:53,894 --> 00:00:55,662
Well, you have a childlike quality

19
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:58,632
that I find absolutely charming.

20
00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:00,499
- Childlike?
- Just stupid.

21
00:01:02,436 --> 00:01:05,972
Well, what does he expect? All
I do is talk to kids all day.

22
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,675
You know, if someone would keep their
head out of the paper in the morning,

23
00:01:09,744 --> 00:01:12,478
maybe I can have an adult conversation.

24
00:01:12,546 --> 00:01:13,913
Oh, look,

25
00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:15,648
<i>Dumb & Dumber is playing
at the dollar theaters.</i>

26
00:01:17,884 --> 00:01:20,153
All right, Miss Fine. You
want an adult conversation?

27
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,121
- Yes, I do.
- Let's talk.

28
00:01:22,189 --> 00:01:25,725
- Um, affirmative action, for or against?
- Against.

29
00:01:25,792 --> 00:01:27,626
Get rid of affirmative action.

30
00:01:27,695 --> 00:01:29,796
Those creams don't work.

31
00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:33,332
My mother has been schmearing
them on her thighs for years,

32
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,369
and she still looks like she
fell asleep in a wicker chair.

33
00:01:43,143 --> 00:01:45,878
<i>* She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens</i>

34
00:01:45,946 --> 00:01:47,313
<i>* 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out</i>

35
00:01:47,381 --> 00:01:48,981
<i>* in one of those crushing scenes</i>

36
00:01:49,049 --> 00:01:50,850
<i>* What was she to do? Where was she to go?</i>

37
00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:54,187
<i>* She was out on her fanny</i>

38
00:01:54,255 --> 00:01:56,623
<i>* So over the bridge from
Flushing to the Sheffield's door</i>

39
00:01:56,690 --> 00:01:59,159
<i>* She was there to sell
makeup, but the father saw more</i>

40
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,394
<i>* She had style! She
had flair! She was there!</i>

41
00:02:01,462 --> 00:02:04,998
<i>* That's how she became the nanny!</i>

42
00:02:05,065 --> 00:02:07,833
<i>* Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described</i>

43
00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:10,336
<i>* was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?</i>

44
00:02:10,537 --> 00:02:11,771
<i>* Now the father finds her beguiling</i>

45
00:02:11,839 --> 00:02:13,105
<i>* Watch out, C.C.!</i>

46
00:02:13,173 --> 00:02:14,373
<i>* And the kids are actually smiling</i>

47
00:02:14,441 --> 00:02:15,842
<i>* Such joie de vivre!</i>

48
00:02:15,909 --> 00:02:21,214
<i>* She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan</i>

49
00:02:21,282 --> 00:02:23,382
<i>* The flashy girl from Flushing</i>

50
00:02:23,450 --> 00:02:25,618
<i>* The nanny named Fran!</i>

51
00:02:25,619 --> 00:02:28,110
- provided by icephoenix / corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

52
00:02:29,724 --> 00:02:32,525
(EXCLAIMING) Now they're unloading a couch.

53
00:02:32,593 --> 00:02:34,694
Nope. It's a sectional.

54
00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:38,732
Nope. It's a love seat and a chaise.

55
00:02:38,799 --> 00:02:42,201
- Nope, nope...
- Oh, would you stop it? You're driving me crazy.

56
00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:43,670
(SHUSHING)

57
00:02:43,738 --> 00:02:45,672
What if the person
moving in is a single guy?

58
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,073
If he hears you yelling at me,

59
00:02:47,141 --> 00:02:48,775
he's gonna think we're married.

60
00:02:49,776 --> 00:02:51,344
I'm sorry, Miss Fine.

61
00:02:51,412 --> 00:02:53,479
I'm just obsessing over
something in the newspaper.

62
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,315
Oh, you want to talk about it?

63
00:02:55,382 --> 00:02:57,550
No. I don't think it's anything
that you'll be interested in.

64
00:02:57,618 --> 00:02:58,684
Well, I could fake it.

65
00:02:58,786 --> 00:03:01,588
It wouldn't be the first time.

66
00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:04,356
All right. It's President
Clinton's Renaissance Weekend,

67
00:03:04,424 --> 00:03:06,359
and I was hoping I'd be invited.

68
00:03:06,427 --> 00:03:08,961
Oh, a Renaissance Weekend.

69
00:03:09,029 --> 00:03:11,064
Boy, Clinton goes to those things?

70
00:03:11,132 --> 00:03:14,233
'Cause I'm thinking tights and a
pointy hat is not his best look.

71
00:03:15,569 --> 00:03:18,337
No, Miss Fine. Not the Renaissance Faire,

72
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,439
the Renaissance Weekend.

73
00:03:20,507 --> 00:03:23,309
It's a yearly gathering of the
best minds from every walk of life,

74
00:03:23,376 --> 00:03:25,878
and they only invite one member
of the Broadway community,

75
00:03:25,946 --> 00:03:28,280
and you know the one
name that's ahead of mine.

76
00:03:28,348 --> 00:03:29,949
Right. Who comes before Sheffield?

77
00:03:30,017 --> 00:03:32,384
A, B, C, D, E, F, G... R!

78
00:03:32,452 --> 00:03:36,022
Phylicia Rashad is before Mr. Sheffield.

79
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,424
No, Miss Fine. Not Phylicia Rashad.

80
00:03:38,492 --> 00:03:40,727
Andrew Lloyd Webber.

81
00:03:40,795 --> 00:03:42,662
Webber? W is before S?

82
00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:44,297
Boy, and they call me stupid.

83
00:03:50,704 --> 00:03:53,873
Well, it's 12:30. Where's
this brother of yours, C.C.?

84
00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:56,942
Brother? There's a brother coming?

85
00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:58,578
Is he short, ugly, and married?

86
00:03:58,645 --> 00:04:00,145
No. Why?

87
00:04:00,213 --> 00:04:01,848
Well, then I gotta change.

88
00:04:02,850 --> 00:04:04,283
Nanny Fine, please,

89
00:04:04,351 --> 00:04:08,354
he is a full-time professor
at Northwestern University.

90
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,390
Well, I don't mind moving down south.

91
00:04:13,994 --> 00:04:16,629
Oh, it will be so
wonderful to see Noel again.

92
00:04:16,697 --> 00:04:18,665
We used to have so much fun.

93
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:21,033
Every summer he'd take
me to the horse show.

94
00:04:21,101 --> 00:04:22,768
Did you ever win?

95
00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:31,477
Maxwell, will you put that
out? It's stinking up the house.

96
00:04:31,545 --> 00:04:33,179
Oh, C.C., I thought you liked cigars.

97
00:04:33,247 --> 00:04:34,514
I meant him.

98
00:04:36,816 --> 00:04:38,083
(DOORBELL RINGS)

99
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,019
Oh, he's here.

100
00:04:40,086 --> 00:04:42,855
Oh, we were just like best friends.

101
00:04:42,923 --> 00:04:44,390
C.C.

102
00:04:44,457 --> 00:04:45,758
Noel.

103
00:04:51,598 --> 00:04:54,167
- Yes!
- Well, you've been working out.

104
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:55,668
(SNIFFING)

105
00:04:55,735 --> 00:04:59,672
I smell Lady Stetson. Mummy gave you this.

106
00:04:59,739 --> 00:05:01,074
She gave you the Beamer.

107
00:05:01,141 --> 00:05:03,609
She gave you the Benz.

108
00:05:03,677 --> 00:05:05,377
C.C., Mummy died yesterday.

109
00:05:05,445 --> 00:05:06,579
(GASPS) What'd you get?

110
00:05:06,646 --> 00:05:07,646
Got you.

111
00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:13,152
I walked right into that.

112
00:05:13,219 --> 00:05:14,787
He used to keep me in stitches

113
00:05:14,855 --> 00:05:17,089
with all that "Mummy died" stuff.

114
00:05:17,157 --> 00:05:18,991
Oh, yes. Charming.

115
00:05:19,092 --> 00:05:24,063
Oh, I didn't know we had company.

116
00:05:24,131 --> 00:05:27,199
- Isn't anyone going to introduce us?
- All right.

117
00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:30,436
This is my charming, wealthy,
educated brother, Noel.

118
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:32,138
Noel, this is the help.

119
00:05:33,641 --> 00:05:35,708
I'm Dr. Noel Babcock.

120
00:05:35,776 --> 00:05:38,311
Oh, a teacher and a doctor.

121
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,613
Your mother must be kvelling.

122
00:05:42,616 --> 00:05:44,917
Miss Fine, don't you have something to do?

123
00:05:44,985 --> 00:05:49,488
Oh, he thinks that I can't
handle an adult conversation.

124
00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:52,091
Want a Juicy Juice?

125
00:05:52,158 --> 00:05:55,428
Maybe I'd learn something if
I hung out with the professor.

126
00:05:55,495 --> 00:05:58,197
Worked for Mary Ann and Ginger.

127
00:06:00,701 --> 00:06:02,202
Is something going on
with Max and the nanny?

128
00:06:02,269 --> 00:06:03,603
No.

129
00:06:03,671 --> 00:06:06,306
I mean, Maxwell is an educated man.

130
00:06:06,373 --> 00:06:08,575
<i>She went to Nick at Nite school.</i>

131
00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:13,412
C.C., would you like to have some fun?

132
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,381
Noel, I thought that was against the law.

133
00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:17,282
No.

134
00:06:18,418 --> 00:06:21,487
No, no, no. No, I meant a little wager.

135
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:24,490
I say the nanny can be taught.

136
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:27,460
Oh, please, don't make me take your money.

137
00:06:27,527 --> 00:06:29,295
This is a woman who thought Clarence Thomas

138
00:06:29,363 --> 00:06:30,696
<i>was on The Mod Squad.</i>

139
00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:35,735
Stop it. You're gonna
make me go right here.

140
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:42,775
(BOTH SIGHING)

141
00:06:42,843 --> 00:06:45,644
My Lamborghini against
your prize thoroughbred.

142
00:06:45,713 --> 00:06:47,246
You choose the test.

143
00:06:47,313 --> 00:06:51,651
Well, the only thing
she knows is television.

144
00:06:51,719 --> 00:06:53,119
I'll make it easy for you.

145
00:06:53,186 --> 00:06:54,554
<i>Get her on Jeopardy.</i>

146
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,822
(LAUGHING)

147
00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,824
All right. You're on.

148
00:06:58,892 --> 00:07:02,495
Oh, I can't wait to get
behind the wheel of that car.

149
00:07:02,497 --> 00:07:05,364
And I can't wait to get
behind that racehorse.

150
00:07:05,432 --> 00:07:06,933
You know what I mean.

151
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,801
(BOTH LAUGHING)

152
00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:13,105
(BOTH SIGHING)

153
00:07:18,745 --> 00:07:23,649
No, Ma, Noel is not that kind of doctor.

154
00:07:23,717 --> 00:07:27,420
'Cause he's a Ph... you can't
write prescriptions, can you?

155
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,355
No.

156
00:07:29,423 --> 00:07:31,123
That's what your insurance is for.

157
00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:33,025
Will you just call your H-O-M-O.

158
00:07:37,765 --> 00:07:39,632
Fran, you are enchanting.

159
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:41,567
I don't know why you're
insecure about your intelligence.

160
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,035
Oh, well.

161
00:07:43,103 --> 00:07:44,370
<i>I mean, if you're smart
enough to get on Jeopardy.</i>

162
00:07:44,438 --> 00:07:46,171
<i>Who got on Jeopardy?</i>

163
00:07:46,239 --> 00:07:47,696
Well, C.C. told me you'd
been on a game show.

164
00:07:47,697 --> 00:07:51,177
<i>- I naturally assumed...
- Oh, please. Studs.</i>

165
00:07:54,748 --> 00:07:58,283
That's not really a mind game.

166
00:07:58,351 --> 00:08:00,853
<i>No. You gotta be a
genius to be on Jeopardy.</i>

167
00:08:00,888 --> 00:08:02,855
I mean, my own cousin can't get on,

168
00:08:02,922 --> 00:08:04,857
and she finds Waldo every week.

169
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,527
- I'll bet you could do it.
- No.

170
00:08:08,595 --> 00:08:10,863
I couldn't possibly find Waldo every week,

171
00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:12,998
especially in those beach scenes

172
00:08:13,066 --> 00:08:16,201
when he's not wearing his shirt.

173
00:08:16,269 --> 00:08:19,038
<i>No, no. I meant getting on Jeopardy.</i>

174
00:08:19,105 --> 00:08:20,840
Would you like to try a few questions?

175
00:08:20,908 --> 00:08:22,642
Okay.

176
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:25,611
Alex, I love your tie.

177
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:29,215
- What?
- Alex Trebek, dumb-dumb.

178
00:08:29,282 --> 00:08:30,916
I heard that if you flirt with him,

179
00:08:30,984 --> 00:08:33,152
he locks out the other guys' buzzers.

180
00:08:35,522 --> 00:08:37,589
Oh, I'm gonna be good at this.

181
00:08:40,593 --> 00:08:42,394
All right.

182
00:08:42,462 --> 00:08:43,929
Famous monarchs.

183
00:08:43,997 --> 00:08:45,664
Oh, that's easy.

184
00:08:45,732 --> 00:08:49,101
The most famous Monarch
was the '72 Mercury,

185
00:08:53,607 --> 00:08:58,277
more specifically, the one
my ex-boyfriend, Danny, drove.

186
00:08:58,345 --> 00:09:01,347
And I'm the one that made it famous.

187
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:11,056
Moving on. Astronomy.

188
00:09:11,124 --> 00:09:13,726
This is the oldest body orbiting the sun.

189
00:09:13,794 --> 00:09:15,194
What is William Shatner?

190
00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:25,504
Oh, my head.

191
00:09:25,572 --> 00:09:30,042
Oh, you know, the same thing
happens to Mr. Sheffield.

192
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:32,211
Gee, it must be something in this room.

193
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,014
- Fran.
- Yes?

194
00:09:35,082 --> 00:09:36,816
Would you mind if we
picked this up tomorrow?

195
00:09:36,884 --> 00:09:39,485
Oh, sure, sure. No problem.

196
00:09:39,553 --> 00:09:42,221
There's a set of steel-belted
radials I've gotta stop payment on.

197
00:09:42,289 --> 00:09:43,523
Oh, boy.

198
00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:48,794
Bye, Noel. Thank you.

199
00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:51,697
Did Noel leave? Oh, I'm sorry I missed him.

200
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:52,999
Well, I miss him too.

201
00:09:53,066 --> 00:09:54,400
It's nice to have a man around

202
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:57,836
who notices my inane intelligence.

203
00:09:57,838 --> 00:09:59,372
Miss Fine, I noticed that the first time

204
00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:03,376
you threw a penny in the
bidet and made a wish.

205
00:10:03,444 --> 00:10:06,478
Oh, don't try and get
on my good side, mister.

206
00:10:06,546 --> 00:10:10,783
For your information,
Noel finds me stimulating.

207
00:10:10,851 --> 00:10:16,221
Believe me, it's not your mind
that's aroused his interest.

208
00:10:16,289 --> 00:10:20,492
You know, there is only one
explanation for your negativity.

209
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:23,596
Oh, please, you think I'm jealous of Noel?

210
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,030
That makes two.

211
00:10:28,034 --> 00:10:30,803
You just don't want me to
reach my full potential.

212
00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:33,372
You want to keep me in that
kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.

213
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,441
You're the one who wanted to have children.

214
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,443
You wanted to make it your full-time job.

215
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,612
Oh, God, what am I saying?

216
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:45,284
Meanwhile, Professor Noel Babcock, PhD,

217
00:10:45,352 --> 00:10:48,120
<i>thinks that I'm smart
enough to get on Jeopardy.</i>

218
00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:50,122
<i>- How do you like that?
- Jeopardy?</i>

219
00:10:50,257 --> 00:10:51,990
(LAUGHING) Uh-huh.

220
00:10:52,059 --> 00:10:54,260
Remind me, what night does that
tape? I should leave it open.

221
00:10:54,328 --> 00:10:57,096
No. As a matter of fact, I
should block out the entire week.

222
00:10:57,164 --> 00:10:59,665
They ask the champion back, you know.

223
00:11:01,935 --> 00:11:03,102
That's right.

224
00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:05,371
And let's hope that it's
not on the same night

225
00:11:05,439 --> 00:11:08,374
as Clinton's Renaissance Weekend.

226
00:11:08,442 --> 00:11:13,379
Oh, look, it doesn't matter
because you're not invited.

227
00:11:13,514 --> 00:11:15,380
- Let me see that.
- No.

228
00:11:15,449 --> 00:11:17,983
<i>It could be a category on Jeopardy.</i>

229
00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:19,985
"Member of the Broadway community

230
00:11:20,053 --> 00:11:23,288
who is invited to the
Renaissance Weekend."

231
00:11:23,356 --> 00:11:25,123
Andrew Lloyd Webber.

232
00:11:25,191 --> 00:11:28,027
(IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING)
Sorry. That is incorrect.

233
00:11:28,094 --> 00:11:30,429
Really? The correct response would be

234
00:11:30,497 --> 00:11:32,932
"Who is Andrew Lloyd Webber?"

235
00:11:40,173 --> 00:11:43,008
Oh, it's no good, Niles.
I can't concentrate.

236
00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:45,411
It's too bloody quiet.

237
00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:46,845
What on earth's missing?

238
00:11:46,913 --> 00:11:49,348
Well, perhaps this will help, sir.

239
00:11:49,415 --> 00:11:51,083
(MIMICKING FRAN) "Oh, Mr. Sheffield!"

240
00:11:55,088 --> 00:11:57,923
That's it, Niles. Miss Fine's not here.

241
00:11:58,124 --> 00:11:59,925
Oh, just trying to fill your void, sir.

242
00:11:59,993 --> 00:12:01,860
It's obvious you miss her.

243
00:12:01,928 --> 00:12:04,964
I most certainly do not.

244
00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:07,967
I'm just wondering where
she is, what she's doing,

245
00:12:08,034 --> 00:12:10,635
which is entirely
different from missing her.

246
00:12:12,072 --> 00:12:13,872
- What?
- Oh, nothing, sir.

247
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:17,877
I was just wondering how you
ended up there and I ended up here.

248
00:12:21,581 --> 00:12:23,382
Seems wrong somehow.

249
00:12:25,651 --> 00:12:27,653
She's probably with Noel.

250
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,856
You know, Niles, that relationship
doesn't make any sense.

251
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,591
I mean, what on earth
does he want with her?

252
00:12:32,659 --> 00:12:33,992
Sir, is it beyond your comprehension

253
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,528
that an intelligent man of the world

254
00:12:35,596 --> 00:12:38,196
could find Miss Fine
intellectually stimulating?

255
00:12:38,899 --> 00:12:40,633
No, really, Niles.

256
00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:42,434
Oh, all right. It's a bet.

257
00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:48,073
<i>Miss Babcock's brother bet her that
he could get Miss Fine on Jeopardy.</i>

258
00:12:48,141 --> 00:12:51,344
A bet. I knew he had an ulterior motive.

259
00:12:51,411 --> 00:12:52,278
Oh, now, sir, you're not going to rub

260
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:53,846
Miss Fine's nose in this, are you?

261
00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:55,247
No, of course not.

262
00:12:56,249 --> 00:12:57,549
Is that her?

263
00:12:57,617 --> 00:12:59,518
Oh, now, sir.

264
00:13:03,290 --> 00:13:06,025
Oh, hello. Didn't hear you come in.

265
00:13:06,092 --> 00:13:08,493
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, guess what?

266
00:13:08,561 --> 00:13:12,231
<i>I passed the test. I'm
gonna be on Jeopardy.</i>

267
00:13:18,104 --> 00:13:21,206
Would you look at her?
She's so happy for me.

268
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:25,911
I paid $200,000 for that stallion.

269
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:29,982
I hope he paid for the room.

270
00:13:32,852 --> 00:13:34,420
Fran, I am so proud of you.

271
00:13:34,487 --> 00:13:38,057
Your thirsty mind soaked up all
that knowledge like a little sponge.

272
00:13:38,124 --> 00:13:40,426
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to see a man about a horse.

273
00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:42,027
(LAUGHING)

274
00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:45,230
(SIGHING)

275
00:13:48,301 --> 00:13:50,035
You passed the test?

276
00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:51,303
Yes.

277
00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:54,339
You see, that is the
difference between you and Noel.

278
00:13:54,407 --> 00:13:57,175
He thinks I'm a sponge.

279
00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:59,712
- Are you through, Miss Fine, because...
- No.

280
00:13:59,779 --> 00:14:02,047
You know, you're so smart and powerful,

281
00:14:02,115 --> 00:14:04,950
everybody always listens to
everything you have to say.

282
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:07,953
- Well, Miss Fine...
- Wait. I'm talking.

283
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:11,723
We both know that I'm not as
smart or cultured as you are.

284
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,725
I mean, remember when I first moved here

285
00:14:13,794 --> 00:14:18,364
and you asked me where was the
cabernet, and what did I say?

286
00:14:18,432 --> 00:14:19,664
Next to Cabin B.

287
00:14:23,870 --> 00:14:26,305
Although I never did take Spanish.

288
00:14:28,574 --> 00:14:31,343
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you have no idea

289
00:14:31,411 --> 00:14:35,848
what gaining the respect from a man
like Noel means to a girl like me.

290
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,350
Now, what was it you wanted to say?

291
00:14:40,086 --> 00:14:42,053
<i>Good luck on Jeopardy, Miss Fine.</i>

292
00:14:42,121 --> 00:14:44,323
Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield.

293
00:14:44,391 --> 00:14:45,657
Now I gotta go call my mother

294
00:14:45,725 --> 00:14:47,592
'cause nobody in my
family's been on a game show

295
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:49,895
<i>since my cousin, Ira, was Queen for a Day.</i>

296
00:14:55,602 --> 00:14:58,204
Okay. Questions, kids. Drill me.

297
00:14:58,271 --> 00:15:00,606
Okay, Fran. The category is potpourri.

298
00:15:00,673 --> 00:15:02,674
Things that smell good. Things
you put in a dish. Things that... 

299
00:15:02,742 --> 00:15:05,311
- No, Fran, Fran, that's the pyramid.
- What is Egypt?

300
00:15:05,378 --> 00:15:06,979
Fran, you're running out of time.

301
00:15:07,046 --> 00:15:08,814
I'll solve the puzzle.

302
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,150
Miss Fine... 

303
00:15:11,218 --> 00:15:12,952
What is a nanny? Things that are single.

304
00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:16,521
Calm down. Calm down.

305
00:15:16,589 --> 00:15:18,390
There are plenty of other contestants.

306
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:20,826
They're all backups, and
you don't have to go on.

307
00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:21,960
Are you kidding me?

308
00:15:22,028 --> 00:15:23,962
I already cut the tags out of this dress.

309
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:26,698
I'm definitely going on.

310
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:28,033
- Five minutes.
- Oh, oh, oh.

311
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,801
- Break a leg, Miss Fine.
- Fran, you'll do great.

312
00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:31,370
Fran, you look so beautiful.

313
00:15:31,437 --> 00:15:33,372
Oh, thanks, sweetie.

314
00:15:33,439 --> 00:15:36,342
But, you know, beauty is
not what's important here.

315
00:15:36,409 --> 00:15:38,377
It's brains that count.

316
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,147
Oh, hey, you. I want that same filter

317
00:15:42,215 --> 00:15:45,784
that they used on Liz for
the White Diamonds commercial.

318
00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:50,656
Before we continue, let's recap the scores.

319
00:15:50,723 --> 00:15:53,525
We have Henrietta at $4,600.

320
00:15:53,593 --> 00:15:55,961
Stewart next at $4,700,

321
00:15:56,029 --> 00:16:01,300
and Fran close behind at minus $1,300.

322
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:03,636
But, Fran, please, don't get discouraged.

323
00:16:03,703 --> 00:16:05,170
Oh, I'm fine, Alex.

324
00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:07,206
I'm just getting my taste buds ready

325
00:16:07,273 --> 00:16:11,409
for my year's supply
of Chico-San Rice Cakes.

326
00:16:11,477 --> 00:16:14,379
Good for you. Stewart, you gave
me the last correct response,

327
00:16:14,447 --> 00:16:16,115
so you have control of the board.

328
00:16:16,182 --> 00:16:19,918
Thank you, Alex. By the way, nice tie.

329
00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:22,154
Oh, please.

330
00:16:24,657 --> 00:16:26,659
I'll take Inventors for $400, please.

331
00:16:26,726 --> 00:16:27,526
ALEX: Answer:

332
00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:29,354
(ALEX READING) "The name
Thomas was made famous

333
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:33,454
in 1880 for this household invention."

334
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:35,100
Stewart.

335
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:36,868
What is the light bulb?

336
00:16:36,936 --> 00:16:38,336
No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

337
00:16:38,404 --> 00:16:39,271
Henrietta.

338
00:16:39,338 --> 00:16:40,939
What is the phonograph?

339
00:16:41,006 --> 00:16:43,141
No. That too, is incorrect.

340
00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:45,177
Fran, would you like to try?

341
00:16:46,913 --> 00:16:48,713
"The name Thomas was made famous

342
00:16:48,781 --> 00:16:51,983
"in 1880 for this household invention."

343
00:16:52,051 --> 00:16:54,887
What is the fork-split English muffin?

344
00:16:57,123 --> 00:16:59,090
That's absolutely right.

345
00:17:00,526 --> 00:17:03,028
Come on, people.

346
00:17:03,096 --> 00:17:06,932
In 1875, Mr. Thomas left England

347
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:12,171
and closed his shop up for
good to come to our country.

348
00:17:12,238 --> 00:17:14,640
Believe it or not, you're
now in control of the board.

349
00:17:14,707 --> 00:17:16,008
(EXCLAIMING)

350
00:17:16,142 --> 00:17:20,245
I'll pick food facts for $200, Alex.

351
00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:22,714
The answer is a Daily Double.

352
00:17:22,782 --> 00:17:24,249
(BEEPING)

353
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:30,356
I'll bet $1,000, Alex.

354
00:17:30,423 --> 00:17:31,957
Answer.

355
00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:35,761
"Though usually associated with red
beets, this East European soup... "

356
00:17:36,595 --> 00:17:38,096
Fran. What is borscht?

357
00:17:38,164 --> 00:17:40,499
You're absolutely right. Congratulations.

358
00:17:40,633 --> 00:17:42,434
(BEEPING)

359
00:17:42,502 --> 00:17:46,304
And that sound means time
now for our Final Jeopardy.

360
00:17:46,372 --> 00:17:48,440
Here is the Final Jeopardy answer.

361
00:17:49,442 --> 00:17:52,552
(ALEX READING) "This city was
incorporated into the Roman Empire

362
00:17:52,553 --> 00:17:57,606
in 30 B.C. after the suicide of Cleopatra."

363
00:17:58,184 --> 00:17:59,518
Good luck.

364
00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:09,094
Dropped my earring. Dropped
my earring. Whoa, Nelly.

365
00:18:09,162 --> 00:18:13,198
Oh, found it. Found it. Found
the earring. What's going on?

366
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:16,902
I found the earring. I found the earring.

367
00:18:30,983 --> 00:18:32,417
All right, contestants, time's up.

368
00:18:32,485 --> 00:18:35,887
Henrietta, what did you
write down as your question?

369
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,856
(ALEX READING) "What is Macedonia?"

370
00:18:37,924 --> 00:18:39,325
I'm sorry. That's wrong.

371
00:18:39,392 --> 00:18:41,793
What was your wager? $4,200.

372
00:18:41,861 --> 00:18:45,564
You risked it all, and that takes
you all the way down to zero.

373
00:18:45,632 --> 00:18:48,767
Enjoy the home game, honey.

374
00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:51,603
Well, now let's go to
Stewart. His response was...

375
00:18:52,338 --> 00:18:53,872
(ALEX READING) "What is Cairo?"

376
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:57,209
And, unfortunately, he too is wrong.

377
00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:58,243
(RAZZING)

378
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:02,748
Your wager, please, Stewart, was $4,199.

379
00:19:02,815 --> 00:19:06,485
That takes you down to $101.

380
00:19:06,552 --> 00:19:08,920
Still like his tie, Stewie?

381
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:11,923
Fran?

382
00:19:11,991 --> 00:19:14,525
Well, my mother and I were
on our way to Israel on El Al

383
00:19:14,593 --> 00:19:17,395
and who was sitting next
to us but Diana Kind,

384
00:19:17,463 --> 00:19:22,367
a.k.a. Barbra Streisand's mother, in coach,

385
00:19:22,435 --> 00:19:26,671
they got a lot of
unresolved issues, those two,

386
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:29,441
on her way to see the pyramids in Giza.

387
00:19:29,508 --> 00:19:31,109
So your response is Giza.

388
00:19:31,176 --> 00:19:34,746
No, Mr. In-a-Hurry.

389
00:19:34,814 --> 00:19:38,784
But talking about Streisand and Egypt

390
00:19:38,851 --> 00:19:41,086
reminded me of Omar Sharif,

391
00:19:41,153 --> 00:19:43,555
<i>who according to my Funny Girl trivia book,</i>

392
00:19:43,623 --> 00:19:48,326
was not the first actor cast in
the role of Nicky Arnstein, but... 

393
00:19:48,394 --> 00:19:50,028
Miss Fine!

394
00:19:50,096 --> 00:19:51,563
(READING)

395
00:19:51,631 --> 00:19:53,298
That's right.

396
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,367
You've doubled your score to $200.

397
00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:57,502
<i>Fran Fine is the new Jeopardy champion!</i>

398
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,237
(EXCLAIMING)

399
00:19:59,305 --> 00:20:02,674
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

400
00:20:18,424 --> 00:20:20,058
<i>Hello, Jeopardy.</i>

401
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:24,362
Yeah. I want to talk to
you about my Rice-A-Ronis.

402
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:29,301
Well, according to my calculations,
I got six Herb & Butter,

403
00:20:29,369 --> 00:20:31,002
six Broccoli Au Gratin,

404
00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:35,073
but only five White Cheddar & Herb.

405
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:39,110
Now someone over there ain't so smart.

406
00:20:39,178 --> 00:20:41,647
Isn't that ironic?

407
00:20:44,383 --> 00:20:48,320
- Cheer up, Miss Fine. You won one game.
- Yeah.

408
00:20:48,387 --> 00:20:51,156
And you don't have to be
the returning champion.

409
00:20:51,223 --> 00:20:52,758
I like you just the way you are.

410
00:20:52,826 --> 00:20:54,860
Oh, thanks, Mr. Sheffield.

411
00:20:54,928 --> 00:20:58,964
But if you ever saw me just the
way I am, you wouldn't recognize me.

412
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,568
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

413
00:21:03,169 --> 00:21:04,970
Oh, look who's here.

414
00:21:05,672 --> 00:21:08,373
- Hi, Roger. Hi.
- Hi.

415
00:21:10,109 --> 00:21:12,177
Mr. Sheffield,

416
00:21:12,244 --> 00:21:15,781
you remember Roger Clinton,
the President's brother.

417
00:21:15,849 --> 00:21:18,550
- Of course. Nice to see you.
- Hi. Good to see you again.

418
00:21:18,618 --> 00:21:20,652
Well, it's amazing you
found the time to drop by,

419
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,522
what with your brother's job and all.

420
00:21:24,891 --> 00:21:29,194
Uh, Roger is the guy that's
renting the townhouse next door.

421
00:21:29,261 --> 00:21:31,363
Just till November '96.

422
00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:36,101
Then I'm buying it.

423
00:21:37,336 --> 00:21:39,270
Listen, I just stopped by 'cause my brother

424
00:21:39,338 --> 00:21:41,440
wanted me to give this to you in person.

425
00:21:43,442 --> 00:21:45,343
It's an invitation to
the Renaissance Weekend.

426
00:21:45,411 --> 00:21:49,814
Oh, now you see, you did get invited.

427
00:21:49,882 --> 00:21:53,151
It must have just been a big oversight.

428
00:21:53,219 --> 00:21:58,056
Oh, thanks so much, Roger. You are a doll.

429
00:21:58,124 --> 00:22:00,626
Gee, I saw that gorgeous canopy bed

430
00:22:00,693 --> 00:22:02,727
that they were delivering
to your townhouse.

431
00:22:02,795 --> 00:22:05,630
It looks just like the
one in the Lincoln Bedroom.

432
00:22:05,698 --> 00:22:07,165
Not after I paint it white.

433
00:22:07,232 --> 00:22:08,399
(EXCLAIMS)

434
00:22:11,003 --> 00:22:13,204
He's a riot.

435
00:22:13,272 --> 00:22:16,174
Miss Fine, did, uh, did you
have something to do with this?

436
00:22:16,241 --> 00:22:19,310
Oh, please, Mr. Sheffield,

437
00:22:19,378 --> 00:22:22,981
I can't even get Brighton to put
his dirty underwear in the hamper,

438
00:22:23,048 --> 00:22:28,219
you think I can influence the President
of the United States of America?

439
00:22:28,287 --> 00:22:30,589
Meanwhile, I think you
should pick up a corsage.

440
00:22:30,656 --> 00:22:32,824
You're taking out Janet Reno tonight.

441
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:46,000
- provided by icephoenix / corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

