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Since I had started dating Ryan Shay,
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I had learned a couple of things...
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one... he required 30 grams of
animal protein at every meal.
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00:00:08,713 --> 00:00:11,356
And two... his after-school schedule
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- was as tight as his abs.
- No, I can't do Wednesday.
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Wednesday I've got wrestling.
7
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Okay. Thursday?
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Circuit training.
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00:00:17,731 --> 00:00:20,052
Then I have modeling, jump rope club,
10
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- nude modeling.
- Fine.
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What does your Friday look like?
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Mmm.
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Mm! Boy band practice.
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Wow.
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Seems like you got a pretty full plate.
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Yeah.
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I need 30 grams of animal protein
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at every single meal.
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No, I meant to say that your days
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are totally and completely booked.
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They're overbooked.
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Well, I'm sure yours are, too.
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You probably have tons of
awesome after school activities.
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No, yeah, totally. I do.
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Tons.
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I had nothing going on
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and was in danger of being pathetic.
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I needed an after-school
activity of my own.
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Attention, lunch eaters.
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The critically criticized
Chatswin high TV network
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is looking for a qualified producer
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with no previous qualifications...
33
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I have no previous qualifications.
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To oversee our hard-hitting
call-in show, "Teen Talk."
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I'm a teen. I love to talk.
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Any interested parties should contact me
37
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- at their earliest...
- Hello, Tessa.
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Meanwhile, George was busy
with a new hobby of his own...
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indulging Dallas Royce.
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Oh, my gosh, George!
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You're like the Joy Behar of cabana design.
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So? What do you think? You like it?
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- Like it?
- Yeah.
44
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- I love it.
- Yeah?
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Think of all the cabana
parties I can now throw.
46
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,356
And think of all the
cabana boys I can employ.
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You know I love to employ people, George.
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Would you consider employing a balcony?
49
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Well, who in their right
mind wouldn't want a balcony?
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That's like asking if
you want fries with that.
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The answer is always, always "yes."
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Paint the background...
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00:01:54,765 --> 00:01:57,556
Tessa. Welcome aboard.
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Let me take you on a grand
tour of our facilities.
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That's the chair.
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That is a phone.
57
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Well, I hope I can remember
where everything is.
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Mr. Wolfe, Ms. Altman,
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talent just called. Our
host, Evan Spaghetti,
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00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:17,563
says he's not coming in, okay?
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The show goes live in five,
and we don't have a host.
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What's wrong with Evan?
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His pediatrician says exhaustion.
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Okay, th... this is real!
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It's not a drill, all right?!
Everyone, places! Go time!
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What do we do now?
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Well, don't look at me.
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You're the new producer of "Teen Talk."
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Where would you like me to look? I...
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Study Hall! I forgot about Study Hall.
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It's a completely useless class.
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It's like they want us
to cut it and make out.
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So do you wanna?
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Ryan, right now I'm in the
middle of managing a crisis.
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Tessa! You're a genius.
He's absolutely perfect.
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I'm sorry. I'm seeing someone already.
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Um, no, he means you're perfect
to host "Teen Talk" today.
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Our host called in sick.
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You want me to bail you out?
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- Well, when you put it like that way...
- yes!
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Okay. We'll make out later!
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- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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I like cantaloupe. I do,
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but... it doesn't infuse
water the way a berry will.
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Taste for yourself. It didn't infuse.
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- For me it did.
- It didn't.
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- I taste it.
- You don't.
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- Tastes like melon.
- You're a filthy liar.
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Hey.
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Hi.
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00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,937
Hey, you wanna hear somethin' funny?
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00:03:39,994 --> 00:03:41,339
You wanna taste somethin' funny?
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Melon water. Tastes like nothin'.
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So I went to pull the
permits on the cabana,
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and it appears that after
looking at some zoning maps,
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58% of your property
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is on the East Chatswin side of the border.
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Isn't that funny?
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Technically, you live in East Chatswin.
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What?
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00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:05,346
What the hell are you
trying to do to me, George?
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00:04:05,365 --> 00:04:07,848
Whoa, baby, it's... it's
not that big of a deal.
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00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:10,357
It's just a technicality.
Come on. Doesn't matter.
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Oh.
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Sort of looking... like it matters.
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So apparently, Evan usually opens the show
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with a funny anecdote.
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Do you know any funny anecdotes?
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Babe, I got this.
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Whoa.
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I mean, what do you mean, you "got this"?
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I'm just gonna talk about my body.
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People love it when I talk about my body.
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Ryan, no, don't talk about your body.
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People do not wanna hear
you talk about your body.
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- We're on in five... four...
- They do.
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Three...
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I was sure he wasn't going
to talk about his body.
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There's no way he was going
to talk about his body.
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Hi. I'm Ryan Shay,
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and I'm here to talk about my body.
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Please call in with your
questions and compliments.
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Lines are open.
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Tessa! Look. The phones work.
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I thought they were just props.
126
00:05:01,787 --> 00:05:03,914
And we've got caller number one.
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- Yes.
- Hi. Body?
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Please talk to my glutes. They're all ears.
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It was official...
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Dallas Royce was no longer
a citizen of Chatswin.
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But it wasn't just Dallas
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who would suffer the consequences.
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Yakult Royce?
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00:05:26,399 --> 00:05:27,869
I'm sorry, Yakult.
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Your membership has been revoked.
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I get it.
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No!
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Come on. Come on, guys,
is this really necessary?
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Wait! This is all a big mistake!
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Here's your dog...
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and here is your complimentary
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"you're no longer one of us" gift basket.
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00:05:48,492 --> 00:05:49,799
Please don't do this!
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I am one of you! This isn't right.
145
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Ooh, but this hand cream is amazing.
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Dalia Royce.
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I've been informed
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that you are no longer a Chatswin resident.
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Therefore, you can no
longer attend Chatswin High.
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'Kay.
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00:06:04,956 --> 00:06:06,557
Clear out your locker,
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00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:09,747
and prepare to be relocated
to East Chatswin High.
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'Kay.
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00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,981
You may take a moment to
say good-bye to your friends.
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'Kay. I'm good.
156
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Very well.
157
00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:33,535
Mr. Wolfe, is this... for
real? This is unbelievable.
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Almost as unbelievable
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00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,841
as the overnights I
just got on "Body Talk."
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00:06:38,961 --> 00:06:39,849
"Body Talk"?
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00:06:39,969 --> 00:06:42,801
You heard me, sister. "Teen Talk" is dead.
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- What?
- That's right, Spaghetti.
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Wolfie, baby, let's talk this thing over.
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You made me change my name to "Spaghetti."
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You're yesterday's news.
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00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:52,899
The ratings on "Body Talk"
were through the roof.
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00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:54,557
That is impossible.
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00:06:54,601 --> 00:06:57,667
The numbers don't lie. The show got a 19,
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00:06:57,787 --> 00:07:00,257
but a 25 in the 17-to-18 demo.
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00:07:00,263 --> 00:07:03,160
- What are you talking about?
- What does the 25 mean?
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It means 25 people watched it.
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That's huge.
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"Teen Talk" had only ever gotten a 2,
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and that was just me and Chef Alan.
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Well, I'm happy Ryan did well.
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Just keep doing what you're doing.
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What?
178
00:07:17,525 --> 00:07:20,152
I always knew that someday,
Ryan would be the star
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00:07:20,171 --> 00:07:22,426
of a call-in show about his body.
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I just... I didn't think
you'd be the one producing it.
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00:07:27,835 --> 00:07:30,921
To be honest, I always
thought it'd be Seacrest.
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Okay.
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00:07:39,829 --> 00:07:41,030
Baby?
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00:07:41,299 --> 00:07:42,087
Let's go inside.
185
00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:43,720
I'm not going inside, George.
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00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,698
Inside that house is East Chatswin.
187
00:07:45,723 --> 00:07:47,474
Okay, you're... you're being crazy.
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It's still your house.
189
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It's practically a crack den.
190
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,843
Nope, George, nope. I'm staying in here.
191
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Here's got everything
192
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:57,704
an upscale, single gal like myself needs.
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00:07:57,729 --> 00:07:59,562
I can charge my phone,
194
00:07:59,682 --> 00:08:01,947
use the tan roof to get some sun,
195
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:04,737
and if I'm drinking
four different beverages,
196
00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,482
there's four beverage holders.
197
00:08:06,657 --> 00:08:07,846
Inside that house,
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00:08:07,966 --> 00:08:11,493
zero beverage holders, George. Zero.
199
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:13,583
Dallas?
200
00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:16,154
This car is my home-sweet-home now.
201
00:08:16,274 --> 00:08:18,901
What are you... what's going on?
202
00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:20,077
Oh...
203
00:08:20,822 --> 00:08:22,017
What are you doing?
204
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,944
Comfy cozy. Like the Four Seasons.
205
00:08:25,226 --> 00:08:27,178
Okay. I... I started this mess,
206
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,492
and I'm gonna be the one to fix it.
207
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,688
I'm gonna go make some calls.
208
00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:34,010
Thanks for dropping by!
209
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,350
Dalia was doing a little better
210
00:08:36,373 --> 00:08:38,327
adjusting to her new circumstances...
211
00:08:38,359 --> 00:08:41,942
thanks to a coping
mechanism known as denial.
212
00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:43,195
Hi, Malik.
213
00:08:44,395 --> 00:08:45,898
Hi, Tessa.
214
00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:49,418
What up, bitches?
215
00:08:52,392 --> 00:08:54,206
Who the hell are you?
216
00:08:54,714 --> 00:08:56,323
Who the hell are you?
217
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:57,457
Daisy.
218
00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:58,794
Dalia.
219
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,125
This is the triple A...
220
00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:02,390
Ashley, Amber, and Amantha.
221
00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,500
What kind of name is Amantha?
222
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:05,906
It's the kind of name
223
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:09,185
that thinks you're a pale, ugly loser.
224
00:09:09,742 --> 00:09:12,038
Mr. Wolfe, they're being mean to me.
225
00:09:14,204 --> 00:09:16,612
She's living in my car. My car.
226
00:09:17,038 --> 00:09:18,427
This has to be fixed.
227
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,835
You... you sure this guy can help?
228
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,880
- Because...
- Look, this guy
229
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,920
is the ultimate power broker in Chatswin.
230
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,371
He controls the zoning board.
231
00:09:25,384 --> 00:09:26,441
He pulls permits out of his back pocket
232
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:27,774
like they're chewing gum.
233
00:09:27,894 --> 00:09:29,901
He's the Godfather.
234
00:09:32,141 --> 00:09:34,719
Marty? Steam room Marty? He's your guy?
235
00:09:34,738 --> 00:09:36,264
He's "The Godfather"?
236
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:40,000
Gentlemen.
237
00:09:40,175 --> 00:09:42,045
What can I do for you?
238
00:09:42,584 --> 00:09:44,898
Well, Marty, I'm... I'm here about Dallas.
239
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:46,825
- You know Dallas?
- Know her?
240
00:09:46,945 --> 00:09:50,648
Why, I consider her a
close, personal friend.
241
00:09:50,686 --> 00:09:52,675
- Exactly.
- In fact,
242
00:09:52,795 --> 00:09:54,852
she's my best friend.
243
00:09:54,972 --> 00:09:57,073
Now I don't know if you know this,
244
00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:59,476
but we fought in the war together.
245
00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:02,047
O... okay. You and Dallas Royce?
246
00:10:02,091 --> 00:10:03,186
Who the hell is that?
247
00:10:03,306 --> 00:10:05,237
Yeah. Okay, Marty, she's my girlfriend.
248
00:10:05,262 --> 00:10:08,471
And it turns out that half of her property
249
00:10:08,465 --> 00:10:09,697
is in East Chatswin,
250
00:10:09,716 --> 00:10:11,224
and now she's being kicked out of the club.
251
00:10:11,256 --> 00:10:13,070
Her daughter is being thrown out of school,
252
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,365
Sh... uh-huh.
253
00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:17,399
So you want me to go to
her house and break bread.
254
00:10:17,919 --> 00:10:19,001
What?
255
00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:21,259
No, I'm asking you to rezone her property
256
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,244
so she can remain a resident of Chatswin.
257
00:10:23,364 --> 00:10:25,138
And why would I do that?
258
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,450
Uh, Marty,
259
00:10:26,468 --> 00:10:28,885
I gave you an emergency root canal
260
00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:30,704
and did your crown for free.
261
00:10:30,739 --> 00:10:33,953
So you owe... you... you owe me.
262
00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:40,028
Everything you need
263
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:41,969
is on this disk.
264
00:10:41,994 --> 00:10:45,290
Print it out, fill out the paperwork,
265
00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:48,018
and then come see me...
266
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:49,720
In the steam room.
267
00:10:50,045 --> 00:10:51,271
Where... where am I gonna find
268
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:52,816
a computer to open this thing up?
269
00:10:53,004 --> 00:10:54,918
Who do I look like...
270
00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:55,988
Al Gore?
271
00:10:56,707 --> 00:10:57,658
Before we go,
272
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,374
I wanna take one final call about my body.
273
00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:04,059
You're on the air, caller.
274
00:11:04,053 --> 00:11:05,923
Hey, yeah. It's pretty warm out.
275
00:11:05,992 --> 00:11:07,775
Can you tell us how your
body does in the heat?
276
00:11:07,895 --> 00:11:09,840
Yeah, that's a... that's
a very good question.
277
00:11:09,858 --> 00:11:11,605
I actually get that one a lot.
278
00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:15,151
And hydration is the key to hydration.
279
00:11:15,271 --> 00:11:17,222
Now when I want to get hydrated,
280
00:11:17,256 --> 00:11:19,407
I like to drink stuff through my mouth.
281
00:11:23,546 --> 00:11:25,663
Till next time.
282
00:11:25,698 --> 00:11:28,916
Okay. You know what? This is stupid.
283
00:11:28,891 --> 00:11:31,762
This is... just stupid!
284
00:11:31,882 --> 00:11:33,746
I want my name off the show.
285
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:35,974
Tessa, please...
286
00:11:36,008 --> 00:11:37,943
you're embarrassing yourself.
287
00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:38,874
I'm embarrassing myself?
288
00:11:38,888 --> 00:11:40,915
You're the one spending a
whole entire study hall period
289
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,497
talking about your body.
290
00:11:42,617 --> 00:11:45,050
Hey, the only reason I even
agreed to do "Body Talk"
291
00:11:45,056 --> 00:11:46,088
was for you.
292
00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:47,865
I know this is your only
extracurricular activity.
293
00:11:47,884 --> 00:11:49,736
I know it must make you
feel like a big loser.
294
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:51,425
A big loser?
295
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,684
No, no. Look, it's okay, though.
296
00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:56,487
You're less popular than me,
you have less friends than I do,
297
00:11:56,487 --> 00:11:58,201
and you have little to no activities.
298
00:11:58,225 --> 00:12:00,891
But... I'm still super,
super into you. Like, I'm...
299
00:12:00,922 --> 00:12:03,344
I do not need your pity!
300
00:12:03,464 --> 00:12:05,648
Okay? I don't need your help.
301
00:12:05,699 --> 00:12:10,050
I could make this show a
huge success without you.
302
00:12:10,119 --> 00:12:11,239
Okay.
303
00:12:11,827 --> 00:12:13,521
We both know that's not true.
304
00:12:13,829 --> 00:12:16,631
Okay, you have no idea what
people find interesting,
305
00:12:16,982 --> 00:12:19,321
and you told me to open with an antidote,
306
00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:20,379
whatever the hell that is.
307
00:12:20,499 --> 00:12:22,268
I would literally rather watch anything...
308
00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:23,983
anything else...
309
00:12:24,103 --> 00:12:27,235
than you talking about your body.
310
00:12:27,523 --> 00:12:28,543
What are you trying to say?
311
00:12:28,663 --> 00:12:31,308
What I'm trying to say is you are fired.
312
00:12:32,359 --> 00:12:34,586
Well, if you're trying to
say that, congratulations,
313
00:12:34,611 --> 00:12:36,138
'cause you just said it to me.
314
00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:37,252
Yes, I said it.
315
00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,572
Wow!
316
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,325
Wow!
317
00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:44,934
Let's go, boys.
318
00:12:51,797 --> 00:12:53,739
Mommy, I'm home.
319
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,501
Back here!
320
00:12:59,255 --> 00:13:00,506
How was school today?
321
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:02,627
Did you make any new friends?
322
00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:06,656
No. Everyone at my new
school's tanner than me.
323
00:13:06,669 --> 00:13:09,738
They act like I'm not tan
enough to be going there.
324
00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:11,657
That's ridiculous.
325
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:15,377
No one should ever be judged
by how deep their tan is.
326
00:13:15,412 --> 00:13:16,795
I know, right?
327
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,562
I just wish they could look
beyond the color of my tan
328
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,707
and see the content of my closet.
329
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:24,855
Because I have really nice
stuff in my closet, you know?
330
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:25,771
I know.
331
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,774
And that's a beautiful dream.
332
00:13:29,860 --> 00:13:32,450
You know, I can't remember the last time
333
00:13:32,475 --> 00:13:35,514
we had an after-school
espresso, just the two of us.
334
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,456
Maybe being ostracized by our community
335
00:13:38,481 --> 00:13:41,953
and driven out of our home
was a blessing in disguise.
336
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,288
Yeah.
337
00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:46,189
It's a good disguise, mommy.
338
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:51,046
Where's my kangaroo?
339
00:13:59,346 --> 00:14:00,842
Ha ha. Marty.
340
00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:04,389
It was not easy, but I found
an old library in Queens
341
00:14:04,395 --> 00:14:07,217
that has a working quadra 650.
342
00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:09,895
I have here the documents, all filled out,
343
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,978
ready for your approval, sir.
344
00:14:15,441 --> 00:14:16,971
Thank... hey...
345
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:18,073
rejected?
346
00:14:18,193 --> 00:14:19,368
Marty, you bastard.
347
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,376
What... I... I filled out the paperwork,
348
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,296
just like you said.
349
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:24,386
The paperwork doesn't change the fact
350
00:14:24,506 --> 00:14:27,446
that 58% of the property
is in East Chatswin.
351
00:14:27,671 --> 00:14:32,288
Thus making it 100% in East Chatswin.
352
00:14:32,844 --> 00:14:35,272
Why did you make him fill out the paperwork
353
00:14:35,259 --> 00:14:37,018
if you were just gonna reject it?
354
00:14:37,474 --> 00:14:38,826
Protocol.
355
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,621
All right, you know what?
Don't come crying to me
356
00:14:40,659 --> 00:14:42,023
the next time your crown cracks!
357
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:44,425
My crown is already cracked!
358
00:14:44,545 --> 00:14:46,971
I had to get a partial bridge!
359
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:49,104
Ew.
360
00:14:49,749 --> 00:14:51,300
Okay. That...
361
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,265
is a bridge too far, my friend.
362
00:14:53,385 --> 00:14:55,649
That is a bridge too far!
363
00:14:56,124 --> 00:14:58,539
Aah! Oh, God! Aah! Oh! Aah!
364
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,393
Five, four, three...
365
00:15:01,427 --> 00:15:02,511
Two...
366
00:15:02,545 --> 00:15:04,846
♪ do do do-do do
367
00:15:04,881 --> 00:15:07,666
♪ do do, do do do-do do
368
00:15:07,888 --> 00:15:09,584
Welcome to "Tessa Talk."
369
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:12,037
I'm your host... Tessa.
370
00:15:12,298 --> 00:15:15,352
Today we are going to be
talking about what it takes
371
00:15:15,346 --> 00:15:17,242
to get an episode of television on the air,
372
00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:18,543
how to deal with talent,
373
00:15:18,578 --> 00:15:20,564
manage the expectations of the faculty,
374
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:23,379
and how to produce an entertaining segment.
375
00:15:23,499 --> 00:15:25,217
Phone lines are open.
376
00:15:38,877 --> 00:15:40,291
Does anybody wanna...
377
00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:42,256
talk about my body?
378
00:15:46,192 --> 00:15:49,113
Sorry. Albinos can't
drink from this fountain.
379
00:15:49,508 --> 00:15:52,411
You're so pale. You look like a vampire.
380
00:15:52,455 --> 00:15:53,938
Do you need a transfusion?
381
00:15:53,944 --> 00:15:55,846
You should be in the next "Twilight" movie,
382
00:15:55,966 --> 00:15:58,011
'cause your skin looks like a dead vam...
383
00:15:58,011 --> 00:16:01,139
I get it. My tan's not
good enough for you guys.
384
00:16:01,259 --> 00:16:03,867
It's not your tan. It's you.
385
00:16:04,275 --> 00:16:05,732
We don't like you 'cause you're new.
386
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:09,367
Oh. I used to make fun of new people, too.
387
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,162
Just ask Tessa.
388
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,353
Maybe one day you'll get transferred,
389
00:16:13,346 --> 00:16:14,666
and then you'll know what it feels like
390
00:16:14,685 --> 00:16:16,769
to be the odd biyatch out.
391
00:16:17,154 --> 00:16:18,371
Biyatch.
392
00:16:19,457 --> 00:16:21,758
I miss my old school.
393
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:24,946
You wanted to see me?
394
00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,416
I didn't want to see you.
395
00:16:26,536 --> 00:16:28,651
The cancellation bear wanted to see you.
396
00:16:28,966 --> 00:16:30,867
In his den.
397
00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,303
What is this?
398
00:16:33,337 --> 00:16:35,264
Our ratings went down 24.
399
00:16:35,564 --> 00:16:36,890
That means we got a 1.
400
00:16:37,103 --> 00:16:40,124
You lost Chef Alan, and
when you've lost Chef Alan,
401
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,619
you've lost America.
402
00:16:41,663 --> 00:16:44,196
Mr. Wolfe, I'm sorry.
403
00:16:44,316 --> 00:16:47,106
But I can't dedicate myself to a show
404
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:51,323
that fixates on the most
superficial, unimportant aspect
405
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,137
of being a human being.
406
00:16:53,369 --> 00:16:55,696
Aren't you dating Ryan now?
407
00:16:56,704 --> 00:16:57,810
Kind of.
408
00:16:57,930 --> 00:16:59,306
Then you should know.
409
00:16:59,426 --> 00:17:03,261
What makes "Body Talk" great
isn't Ryan's great body.
410
00:17:03,473 --> 00:17:06,619
He also has an amazing spirit.
411
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:10,043
I assumed that was what
you liked about him.
412
00:17:14,029 --> 00:17:15,105
It is.
413
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,064
The best thing to wash down
a big slice of humble pie...
414
00:17:19,047 --> 00:17:21,049
East Chatswin tap water.
415
00:17:24,453 --> 00:17:27,587
Oh! Javier! Oh, thank goodness!
416
00:17:27,658 --> 00:17:29,983
Oh, I didn't know you
worked at this club, too.
417
00:17:30,021 --> 00:17:31,516
I need to file a complaint
418
00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:32,924
about the water!
419
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:34,914
It's unfruited.
420
00:17:34,881 --> 00:17:36,509
Actually, I don't work here, Dallas.
421
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:38,249
I... I'm a member just like you.
422
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,431
Javier, no.
423
00:17:39,551 --> 00:17:41,521
How could you belong to an establishment
424
00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:44,256
who puts little, if any,
fruit in their water?
425
00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:45,982
Truth told, I'm a tap man.
426
00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:47,547
A tap man?
427
00:17:47,553 --> 00:17:48,216
Dallas.
428
00:17:48,336 --> 00:17:51,087
Hey. George! Thank God, George.
429
00:17:51,207 --> 00:17:52,483
The water...
430
00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:54,398
is unfruited.
431
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,857
Well, uh, I... I got some bad news.
432
00:17:57,925 --> 00:17:59,402
Worse than unfruited?
433
00:17:59,452 --> 00:18:02,474
On a scale of one to ten,
unfruited being a nine?
434
00:18:02,465 --> 00:18:04,299
It's a ten. It's Marty.
435
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,833
He not only rejected our appeal,
436
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,979
but now he has a
restraining order against me.
437
00:18:08,674 --> 00:18:09,956
So looks like neither one of us
438
00:18:09,975 --> 00:18:11,132
is going to the Chatswin country club
439
00:18:11,139 --> 00:18:12,609
anytime soon.
440
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:13,959
I see.
441
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:17,058
Hey. But hey, hey, I
will personally cut fruit
442
00:18:17,178 --> 00:18:19,516
and put it in your water
every single day of the week.
443
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,907
And I'll join the east Chatswin "Y," too.
444
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,486
We're in this together, okay?
445
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,921
Okay.
446
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:29,828
If I have to slum it, I guess
I'd rather slum it with you.
447
00:18:30,704 --> 00:18:32,744
I'd rather slum it with you, too.
448
00:18:36,385 --> 00:18:37,912
Hey, Javier.
449
00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:38,637
Hola.
450
00:18:38,631 --> 00:18:40,295
While Dallas made peace with the idea
451
00:18:40,289 --> 00:18:41,371
of not belonging to a club
452
00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:42,928
that didn't want to have her as a member,
453
00:18:42,966 --> 00:18:45,062
I realized that I already belonged
454
00:18:45,056 --> 00:18:46,539
to something that meant more to me
455
00:18:46,564 --> 00:18:48,040
than any after-school activity.
456
00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:52,058
Welcome to a special
edition of "Body Talk."
457
00:18:52,321 --> 00:18:54,597
Today I'm going to be answering questions
458
00:18:54,604 --> 00:18:56,962
on everybody's favorite subject...
459
00:18:57,225 --> 00:18:59,396
Ryan Shay.
460
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:01,555
The two of us started dating recently,
461
00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:05,409
so I'm practically an expert on him
462
00:19:05,472 --> 00:19:07,661
and his amazing body.
463
00:19:07,718 --> 00:19:09,740
The phone lines are
open for your questions.
464
00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:13,624
Hey, Tessa, I was just wondering...
465
00:19:13,744 --> 00:19:15,814
what's your favorite
part of "The Body's" body?
466
00:19:15,852 --> 00:19:17,395
Great question, caller.
467
00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:19,155
Um...
468
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:22,471
I'd have to say it's his heart.
469
00:19:22,784 --> 00:19:26,855
Yeah, his heart is even
bigger than his quads,
470
00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:30,360
which, as you know, are... huge.
471
00:19:33,648 --> 00:19:35,249
Ladies and gentlemen,
472
00:19:35,283 --> 00:19:38,426
this is an exciting day on "Body Talk."
473
00:19:38,937 --> 00:19:42,367
Please welcome the star of our show
474
00:19:42,386 --> 00:19:45,509
and the guy I wanna say "sorry" to...
475
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,711
Ryan Shay.
476
00:19:53,779 --> 00:19:56,186
I'm sorry I called you a loser.
477
00:19:57,132 --> 00:19:59,490
I'm sorry I was acting like one.
478
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,099
Where there's a will, there's a way.
479
00:20:20,114 --> 00:20:22,752
And Noah wasn't willing
to lose his best friend
480
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:23,997
to East Chatswin.
481
00:20:32,869 --> 00:20:34,589
Noah, what's going on in here?
482
00:20:34,709 --> 00:20:36,735
Hey, Marty!
483
00:20:37,123 --> 00:20:38,650
What, you don't like my friends?
484
00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:40,489
I got them all guest passes.
485
00:20:40,552 --> 00:20:42,066
They love it here.
486
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:45,557
They said they're gonna
come all the time, huh?
487
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,478
You bastard.
488
00:20:48,729 --> 00:20:51,262
How much to get my steam room back?
489
00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:52,682
You can get it back cheap.
490
00:20:52,707 --> 00:20:55,555
It'll just cost you one stamp.
491
00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:58,658
And just like that,
492
00:20:58,695 --> 00:21:00,948
the Royces were citizens of Chatswin again.
493
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,757
And not a minute too soon for Dalia.
494
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,195
Bye, losers.
495
00:21:10,239 --> 00:21:11,916
I'm done being a loser.
496
00:21:12,603 --> 00:21:14,813
Does this school validate?
497
00:21:15,339 --> 00:21:17,322
My old school validates.
498
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:22,047
No? You guys all probably take the bus.
499
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:30,798
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