1 00:00:01,898 --> 00:00:03,875 Since I had started dating Ryan Shay, 2 00:00:03,876 --> 00:00:05,496 I had learned a couple of things... 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:09,266 one... he required 30 grams of animal protein at every meal. 4 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,956 And two... his after-school schedule 5 00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:14,138 - was as tight as his abs. - No, I can't do Wednesday. 6 00:00:14,146 --> 00:00:15,100 Wednesday I've got wrestling. 7 00:00:15,128 --> 00:00:17,146 Okay. Thursday? 8 00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,297 Circuit training. 9 00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:20,652 Then I have modeling, jump rope club, 10 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:22,271 - nude modeling. - Fine. 11 00:00:22,318 --> 00:00:23,852 What does your Friday look like? 12 00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:25,754 Mmm. 13 00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:28,606 Mm! Boy band practice. 14 00:00:28,633 --> 00:00:29,724 Wow. 15 00:00:30,671 --> 00:00:33,494 - Seems like you got a pretty full plate. - Yeah. 16 00:00:33,518 --> 00:00:35,457 I need 30 grams of animal protein 17 00:00:35,488 --> 00:00:36,482 at every single meal. 18 00:00:36,497 --> 00:00:40,221 No, I meant to say that your days 19 00:00:40,244 --> 00:00:41,769 are totally and completely booked. 20 00:00:41,801 --> 00:00:43,302 They're overbooked. 21 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:44,749 Well, I'm sure yours are, too. 22 00:00:44,788 --> 00:00:48,041 You probably have tons of awesome after school activities. 23 00:00:48,242 --> 00:00:50,348 No, yeah, totally. I do. 24 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,303 Tons. 25 00:00:51,304 --> 00:00:52,884 I had nothing going on 26 00:00:52,890 --> 00:00:54,681 and was in danger of being pathetic. 27 00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:56,800 I needed an after-school activity of my own. 28 00:00:56,801 --> 00:00:58,849 Attention, lunch eaters. 29 00:00:58,904 --> 00:01:02,336 The critically criticized Chatswin High TV network 30 00:01:02,337 --> 00:01:04,011 is looking for a qualified producer 31 00:01:04,026 --> 00:01:06,238 with no previous qualifications... 32 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,809 I have no previous qualifications. 33 00:01:08,827 --> 00:01:12,978 To oversee our hard-hitting call-in show, "Teen Talk." 34 00:01:13,098 --> 00:01:15,383 I'm a teen. I love to talk. 35 00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:17,813 Any interested parties should contact me 36 00:01:17,819 --> 00:01:20,422 - at their earliest... - Hello, Tessa. 37 00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:25,364 Meanwhile, George was busy with a new hobby of his own... 38 00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:26,894 indulging Dallas Royce. 39 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:28,630 Oh, my gosh, George! 40 00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:31,301 You're like the Joy Behar of cabana design. 41 00:01:31,345 --> 00:01:32,821 So? What do you think? You like it? 42 00:01:32,853 --> 00:01:34,142 - Like it? - Yeah. 43 00:01:34,436 --> 00:01:35,912 - I love it. - Yeah? 44 00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:38,515 Think of all the cabana parties I can now throw. 45 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:40,956 And think of all the cabana boys I can employ. 46 00:01:40,999 --> 00:01:42,676 You know I love to employ people, George. 47 00:01:42,677 --> 00:01:45,046 Would you consider employing a balcony? 48 00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:47,413 Well, who in their right mind wouldn't want a balcony? 49 00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:49,502 That's like asking if you want fries with that. 50 00:01:49,528 --> 00:01:51,585 The answer is always, always "yes." 51 00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:55,302 Paint the background... 52 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,156 Tessa. Welcome aboard. 53 00:01:58,928 --> 00:02:01,634 Let me take you on a grand tour of our facilities. 54 00:02:03,517 --> 00:02:05,244 That's the chair. 55 00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:08,391 That is a phone. 56 00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:13,033 Well, I hope I can remember where everything is. 57 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,609 Mr. Wolfe, Ms. Altman, 58 00:02:14,627 --> 00:02:17,060 talent just called. Our host, Evan Spaghetti, 59 00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:18,163 says he's not coming in, okay? 60 00:02:18,164 --> 00:02:20,617 The show goes live in five, and we don't have a host. 61 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:21,836 What's wrong with Evan? 62 00:02:21,956 --> 00:02:23,682 His pediatrician says exhaustion. 63 00:02:23,802 --> 00:02:25,665 Okay, th... this is real! 64 00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:28,123 It's not a drill, all right?! Everyone, places! Go time! 65 00:02:28,405 --> 00:02:29,569 What do we do now? 66 00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:33,436 Well, don't look at me. 67 00:02:33,498 --> 00:02:35,144 You're the new producer of "Teen Talk." 68 00:02:35,162 --> 00:02:37,371 Where would you like me to look? I... 69 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,117 Study Hall! I forgot about Study Hall. 70 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,138 It's a completely useless class. 71 00:02:41,144 --> 00:02:42,946 It's like they want us to cut it and make out. 72 00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:44,273 So do you wanna? 73 00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:46,693 Ryan, right now I'm in the middle of managing a crisis. 74 00:02:46,718 --> 00:02:49,596 Tessa! You're a genius. He's absolutely perfect. 75 00:02:50,234 --> 00:02:51,948 I'm sorry. I'm seeing someone already. 76 00:02:52,136 --> 00:02:55,902 Um, no, he means you're perfect to host "Teen Talk" today. 77 00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:57,992 Our host called in sick. 78 00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:59,343 You want me to bail you out? 79 00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:01,339 - Well, when you put it like that way... - yes! 80 00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:03,635 Okay. We'll make out later! 81 00:03:04,179 --> 00:03:07,179 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com - 82 00:03:07,225 --> 00:03:11,354 [Alih Jay] ♪ Last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 83 00:03:11,355 --> 00:03:14,508 2x12 Body Talk 84 00:03:18,007 --> 00:03:20,926 I like cantaloupe. I do, 85 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,244 but... it doesn't infuse water the way a berry will. 86 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:25,990 Taste for yourself. It didn't infuse. 87 00:03:29,826 --> 00:03:31,353 - For me it did. - It didn't. 88 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,104 - I taste it. - You don't. 89 00:03:33,105 --> 00:03:35,695 - Tastes like melon. - You're a filthy liar. 90 00:03:36,121 --> 00:03:37,159 Hey. 91 00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:39,036 Hi. 92 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,537 Hey, you wanna hear somethin' funny? 93 00:03:40,594 --> 00:03:41,939 You wanna taste somethin' funny? 94 00:03:42,059 --> 00:03:44,586 Melon water. Tastes like nothin'. 95 00:03:44,706 --> 00:03:46,551 So I went to pull the permits on the cabana, 96 00:03:46,569 --> 00:03:49,440 and it appears that after looking at some zoning maps, 97 00:03:49,441 --> 00:03:51,155 58% of your property 98 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:53,495 is on the East Chatswin side of the border. 99 00:03:53,545 --> 00:03:55,483 Isn't that funny? 100 00:03:55,484 --> 00:03:58,963 Technically, you live in East Chatswin. 101 00:04:02,223 --> 00:04:03,311 What? 102 00:04:04,193 --> 00:04:05,946 What the hell are you trying to do to me, George? 103 00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:08,448 Whoa, baby, it's... it's not that big of a deal. 104 00:04:08,568 --> 00:04:10,957 It's just a technicality. Come on. Doesn't matter. 105 00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:13,510 Oh. 106 00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:16,001 Sort of looking... like it matters. 107 00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:22,307 So apparently, Evan usually opens the show 108 00:04:22,332 --> 00:04:23,509 with a funny anecdote. 109 00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,417 Do you know any funny anecdotes? 110 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,393 Babe, I got this. 111 00:04:26,394 --> 00:04:27,638 Whoa. 112 00:04:28,063 --> 00:04:29,715 I mean, what do you mean, you "got this"? 113 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,479 I'm just gonna talk about my body. 114 00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:33,435 People love it when I talk about my body. 115 00:04:33,436 --> 00:04:34,707 Ryan, no, don't talk about your body. 116 00:04:34,713 --> 00:04:36,102 People do not wanna hear you talk about your body. 117 00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:38,517 - We're on in five... four... - They do. 118 00:04:38,637 --> 00:04:40,376 Three... 119 00:04:42,391 --> 00:04:44,180 I was sure he wasn't going to talk about his body. 120 00:04:44,198 --> 00:04:46,739 There's no way he was going to talk about his body. 121 00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:48,321 Hi. I'm Ryan Shay, 122 00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:50,461 and I'm here to talk about my body. 123 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,888 Please call in with your questions and compliments. 124 00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,171 Lines are open. 125 00:04:55,673 --> 00:04:59,239 Tessa! Look. The phones work. 126 00:04:59,446 --> 00:05:02,267 I thought they were just props. 127 00:05:02,387 --> 00:05:04,514 And we've got caller number one. 128 00:05:05,052 --> 00:05:06,967 - Yes. - Hi. Body? 129 00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:09,770 Please talk to my glutes. They're all ears. 130 00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:12,639 It was official... 131 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,229 Dallas Royce was no longer a citizen of Chatswin. 132 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,616 But it wasn't just Dallas 133 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,207 who would suffer the consequences. 134 00:05:18,263 --> 00:05:21,060 Yakult Royce? 135 00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:24,419 I'm sorry, Yakult. 136 00:05:24,676 --> 00:05:27,279 Your membership has been revoked. 137 00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:33,272 I get it. 138 00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:34,211 No! 139 00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:37,464 Come on. Come on, guys, is this really necessary? 140 00:05:37,465 --> 00:05:39,473 Wait! This is all a big mistake! 141 00:05:39,485 --> 00:05:41,381 Here's your dog... 142 00:05:41,501 --> 00:05:43,403 and here is your complimentary 143 00:05:43,421 --> 00:05:45,042 "you're no longer one of us" gift basket. 144 00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:46,349 Please don't do this! 145 00:05:46,418 --> 00:05:48,859 I am one of you! This isn't right. 146 00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:51,337 Ooh, but this hand cream is amazing. 147 00:05:51,457 --> 00:05:52,830 Dalia Royce. 148 00:05:52,864 --> 00:05:54,571 I've been informed 149 00:05:54,628 --> 00:05:56,901 that you are no longer a Chatswin resident. 150 00:05:56,935 --> 00:06:00,471 Therefore, you can no longer attend Chatswin High. 151 00:06:00,505 --> 00:06:01,472 'Kay. 152 00:06:01,506 --> 00:06:03,107 Clear out your locker, 153 00:06:03,141 --> 00:06:06,297 and prepare to be relocated to East Chatswin High. 154 00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:08,245 'Kay. 155 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,531 You may take a moment to say good-bye to your friends. 156 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,291 'Kay. I'm good. 157 00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:21,609 Very well. 158 00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:30,085 Mr. Wolfe, is this... for real? This is unbelievable. 159 00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:32,412 Almost as unbelievable 160 00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:35,391 as the overnights I just got on "Body Talk." 161 00:06:35,511 --> 00:06:36,399 "Body Talk"? 162 00:06:36,519 --> 00:06:39,351 You heard me, sister. "Teen Talk" is dead. 163 00:06:39,401 --> 00:06:41,471 - What? - That's right, Spaghetti. 164 00:06:41,472 --> 00:06:43,573 Wolfie, baby, let's talk this thing over. 165 00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:44,988 You made me change my name to "Spaghetti." 166 00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:46,621 You're yesterday's news. 167 00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:49,449 The ratings on "Body Talk" were through the roof. 168 00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:51,107 That is impossible. 169 00:06:51,151 --> 00:06:54,217 The numbers don't lie. The show got a 19, 170 00:06:54,337 --> 00:06:56,807 but a 25 in the 17-to-18 demo. 171 00:06:56,813 --> 00:06:59,710 - What are you talking about? - What does the 25 mean? 172 00:06:59,761 --> 00:07:01,837 It means 25 people watched it. 173 00:07:01,849 --> 00:07:03,328 That's huge. 174 00:07:03,448 --> 00:07:05,797 "Teen Talk" had only ever gotten a 2, 175 00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:07,687 and that was just me and Chef Alan. 176 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,195 Well, I'm happy Ryan did well. 177 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,254 Just keep doing what you're doing. 178 00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,040 What? 179 00:07:14,075 --> 00:07:16,702 I always knew that someday, Ryan would be the star 180 00:07:16,721 --> 00:07:18,976 of a call-in show about his body. 181 00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:22,777 I just... I didn't think you'd be the one producing it. 182 00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:27,471 To be honest, I always thought it'd be Seacrest. 183 00:07:32,456 --> 00:07:33,714 Okay. 184 00:07:36,379 --> 00:07:37,580 Baby? 185 00:07:37,849 --> 00:07:38,637 Let's go inside. 186 00:07:38,687 --> 00:07:40,270 I'm not going inside, George. 187 00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:42,248 Inside that house is East Chatswin. 188 00:07:42,273 --> 00:07:44,024 Okay, you're... you're being crazy. 189 00:07:44,059 --> 00:07:45,292 It's still your house. 190 00:07:45,327 --> 00:07:47,444 It's practically a crack den. 191 00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:50,393 Nope, George, nope. I'm staying in here. 192 00:07:50,406 --> 00:07:52,026 Here's got everything 193 00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:54,254 an upscale, single gal like myself needs. 194 00:07:54,279 --> 00:07:56,112 I can charge my phone, 195 00:07:56,232 --> 00:07:58,483 use the tan roof to get some sun, 196 00:07:58,484 --> 00:08:01,287 and if I'm drinking four different beverages, 197 00:08:01,343 --> 00:08:03,032 there's four beverage holders. 198 00:08:03,207 --> 00:08:04,396 Inside that house, 199 00:08:04,516 --> 00:08:08,043 zero beverage holders, George. Zero. 200 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,133 Dallas? 201 00:08:10,158 --> 00:08:12,704 This car is my home-sweet-home now. 202 00:08:12,824 --> 00:08:15,451 What are you... what's going on? 203 00:08:15,463 --> 00:08:16,627 Oh... 204 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,567 What are you doing? 205 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:21,494 Comfy cozy. Like the Four Seasons. 206 00:08:21,776 --> 00:08:23,728 Okay. I... I started this mess, 207 00:08:23,848 --> 00:08:25,042 and I'm gonna be the one to fix it. 208 00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,238 I'm gonna go make some calls. 209 00:08:28,984 --> 00:08:30,560 Thanks for dropping by! 210 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:32,900 Dalia was doing a little better 211 00:08:32,923 --> 00:08:34,877 adjusting to her new circumstances... 212 00:08:34,909 --> 00:08:38,492 thanks to a coping mechanism known as denial. 213 00:08:38,524 --> 00:08:39,745 Hi, Malik. 214 00:08:40,945 --> 00:08:42,448 Hi, Tessa. 215 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,968 What up, bitches? 216 00:08:48,942 --> 00:08:50,756 Who the hell are you? 217 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,873 Who the hell are you? 218 00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:54,007 Daisy. 219 00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:55,344 Dalia. 220 00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:56,675 This is the triple A... 221 00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:58,940 Ashley, Amber, and Amantha. 222 00:08:59,153 --> 00:09:01,050 What kind of name is Amantha? 223 00:09:01,084 --> 00:09:02,456 It's the kind of name 224 00:09:02,463 --> 00:09:05,735 that thinks you're a pale, ugly loser. 225 00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:08,588 Mr. Wolfe, they're being mean to me. 226 00:09:10,754 --> 00:09:13,162 She's living in my car. My car. 227 00:09:13,588 --> 00:09:14,977 This has to be fixed. 228 00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,385 You... you sure this guy can help? 229 00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:18,430 - Because... - Look, this guy 230 00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:20,470 is the ultimate power broker in Chatswin. 231 00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:21,921 He controls the zoning board. 232 00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:22,991 He pulls permits out of his back pocket 233 00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:24,324 like they're chewing gum. 234 00:09:24,444 --> 00:09:26,451 He's the Godfather. 235 00:09:28,691 --> 00:09:31,269 Marty? Steam room Marty? He's your guy? 236 00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:32,814 He's "The Godfather"? 237 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,550 Gentlemen. 238 00:09:36,725 --> 00:09:38,595 What can I do for you? 239 00:09:39,134 --> 00:09:41,448 Well, Marty, I'm... I'm here about Dallas. 240 00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:43,375 - You know Dallas? - Know her? 241 00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:47,198 Why, I consider her a close, personal friend. 242 00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:49,225 - Exactly. - In fact, 243 00:09:49,345 --> 00:09:51,402 she's my best friend. 244 00:09:51,522 --> 00:09:53,623 Now I don't know if you know this, 245 00:09:53,811 --> 00:09:56,026 but we fought in the war together. 246 00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:58,597 O... okay. You and Dallas Royce? 247 00:09:58,641 --> 00:09:59,736 Who the hell is that? 248 00:09:59,856 --> 00:10:01,787 Yeah. Okay, Marty, she's my girlfriend. 249 00:10:01,812 --> 00:10:05,014 And it turns out that half of her property 250 00:10:05,015 --> 00:10:06,247 is in East Chatswin, 251 00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:07,774 and now she's being kicked out of the club. 252 00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,620 Her daughter is being thrown out of school, 253 00:10:09,633 --> 00:10:10,915 Sh... uh-huh. 254 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:13,949 So you want me to go to her house and break bread. 255 00:10:14,469 --> 00:10:15,551 What? 256 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,809 No, I'm asking you to rezone her property 257 00:10:17,822 --> 00:10:19,794 so she can remain a resident of Chatswin. 258 00:10:19,914 --> 00:10:21,688 And why would I do that? 259 00:10:21,808 --> 00:10:23,000 Uh, Marty, 260 00:10:23,018 --> 00:10:25,435 I gave you an emergency root canal 261 00:10:25,453 --> 00:10:27,254 and did your crown for free. 262 00:10:27,289 --> 00:10:30,503 So you owe... you... you owe me. 263 00:10:34,946 --> 00:10:36,578 Everything you need 264 00:10:36,598 --> 00:10:38,519 is on this disk. 265 00:10:38,544 --> 00:10:41,840 Print it out, fill out the paperwork, 266 00:10:41,859 --> 00:10:44,568 and then come see me... 267 00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:46,270 In the steam room. 268 00:10:46,595 --> 00:10:47,821 Where... where am I gonna find 269 00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:49,366 a computer to open this thing up? 270 00:10:49,554 --> 00:10:51,468 Who do I look like... 271 00:10:51,588 --> 00:10:52,538 Al Gore? 272 00:10:53,257 --> 00:10:54,208 Before we go, 273 00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:56,924 I wanna take one final call about my body. 274 00:10:59,676 --> 00:11:00,607 You're on the air, caller. 275 00:11:00,608 --> 00:11:02,473 Hey, yeah. It's pretty warm out. 276 00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,325 Can you tell us how your body does in the heat? 277 00:11:04,445 --> 00:11:06,390 Yeah, that's a... that's a very good question. 278 00:11:06,408 --> 00:11:08,155 I actually get that one a lot. 279 00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:11,701 And hydration is the key to hydration. 280 00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,772 Now when I want to get hydrated, 281 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:15,957 I like to drink stuff through my mouth. 282 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,213 Till next time. 283 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:25,440 Okay. You know what? This is stupid. 284 00:11:25,441 --> 00:11:28,312 This is... just stupid! 285 00:11:28,432 --> 00:11:30,296 I want my name off the show. 286 00:11:30,984 --> 00:11:32,524 Tessa, please... 287 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,491 You're embarrassing yourself. 288 00:11:34,492 --> 00:11:35,424 I'm embarrassing myself? 289 00:11:35,438 --> 00:11:37,465 You're the one spending a whole entire study hall period 290 00:11:37,483 --> 00:11:39,047 talking about your body. 291 00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:41,600 Hey, the only reason I even agreed to do "Body Talk" 292 00:11:41,606 --> 00:11:42,638 was for you. 293 00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,415 I know this is your only extracurricular activity. 294 00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,286 I know it must make you feel like a big loser. 295 00:11:46,517 --> 00:11:47,975 A big loser? 296 00:11:48,095 --> 00:11:50,234 No, no. Look, it's okay, though. 297 00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:53,035 You're less popular than me, you have less friends than I do, 298 00:11:53,036 --> 00:11:54,751 and you have little to no activities. 299 00:11:54,775 --> 00:11:57,441 But... I'm still super, super into you. Like, I'm... 300 00:11:57,472 --> 00:11:59,894 I do not need your pity! 301 00:12:00,014 --> 00:12:02,198 Okay? I don't need your help. 302 00:12:02,249 --> 00:12:06,600 I could make this show a huge success without you. 303 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:07,789 Okay. 304 00:12:08,377 --> 00:12:10,071 We both know that's not true. 305 00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:13,181 Okay, you have no idea what people find interesting, 306 00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,871 and you told me to open with an antidote, 307 00:12:15,915 --> 00:12:16,929 whatever the hell that is. 308 00:12:17,049 --> 00:12:18,818 I would literally rather watch anything... 309 00:12:19,094 --> 00:12:20,533 anything else... 310 00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:23,785 than you talking about your body. 311 00:12:24,073 --> 00:12:25,093 What are you trying to say? 312 00:12:25,213 --> 00:12:27,858 What I'm trying to say is you are fired. 313 00:12:28,909 --> 00:12:31,136 Well, if you're trying to say that, congratulations, 314 00:12:31,161 --> 00:12:32,688 'cause you just said it to me. 315 00:12:32,694 --> 00:12:33,802 Yes, I said it. 316 00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,122 Wow! 317 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:37,875 Wow! 318 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,484 Let's go, boys. 319 00:12:48,347 --> 00:12:50,289 Mommy, I'm home. 320 00:12:50,531 --> 00:12:52,051 Back here! 321 00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:57,056 How was school today? 322 00:12:57,113 --> 00:12:59,177 Did you make any new friends? 323 00:12:59,215 --> 00:13:03,206 No. Everyone at my new school's tanner than me. 324 00:13:03,219 --> 00:13:06,288 They act like I'm not tan enough to be going there. 325 00:13:06,323 --> 00:13:08,207 That's ridiculous. 326 00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:11,927 No one should ever be judged by how deep their tan is. 327 00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,345 I know, right? 328 00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:16,112 I just wish they could look beyond the color of my tan 329 00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:18,257 and see the content of my closet. 330 00:13:18,377 --> 00:13:21,405 Because I have really nice stuff in my closet, you know? 331 00:13:21,430 --> 00:13:22,321 I know. 332 00:13:22,355 --> 00:13:25,324 And that's a beautiful dream. 333 00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:29,000 You know, I can't remember the last time 334 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:32,064 we had an after-school espresso, just the two of us. 335 00:13:32,366 --> 00:13:35,006 Maybe being ostracized by our community 336 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,503 and driven out of our home was a blessing in disguise. 337 00:13:38,872 --> 00:13:39,838 Yeah. 338 00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:42,739 It's a good disguise, mommy. 339 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,596 Where's my kangaroo? 340 00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:53,192 Ha ha. Marty. 341 00:13:53,473 --> 00:13:56,739 It was not easy, but I found an old library in Queens 342 00:13:56,745 --> 00:13:59,567 that has a working quadra 650. 343 00:14:00,074 --> 00:14:02,245 I have here the documents, all filled out, 344 00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:04,328 ready for your approval, sir. 345 00:14:07,791 --> 00:14:09,321 Thank... hey... 346 00:14:09,441 --> 00:14:10,423 rejected? 347 00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:11,718 Marty, you bastard. 348 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,726 What... I... I filled out the paperwork, 349 00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:14,646 just like you said. 350 00:14:14,677 --> 00:14:16,736 The paperwork doesn't change the fact 351 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,796 that 58% of the property is in East Chatswin. 352 00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:24,638 Thus making it 100% in East Chatswin. 353 00:14:25,194 --> 00:14:27,608 Why did you make him fill out the paperwork 354 00:14:27,609 --> 00:14:29,368 if you were just gonna reject it? 355 00:14:29,824 --> 00:14:31,176 Protocol. 356 00:14:31,296 --> 00:14:32,971 All right, you know what? Don't come crying to me 357 00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:34,373 the next time your crown cracks! 358 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,775 My crown is already cracked! 359 00:14:36,895 --> 00:14:39,321 I had to get a partial bridge! 360 00:14:39,383 --> 00:14:41,454 Ew. 361 00:14:42,099 --> 00:14:43,650 Okay. That... 362 00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:45,615 is a bridge too far, my friend. 363 00:14:45,735 --> 00:14:47,999 That is a bridge too far! 364 00:14:48,474 --> 00:14:50,889 Aah! Oh, God! Aah! Oh! Aah! 365 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:53,743 Five, four, three... 366 00:14:53,777 --> 00:14:54,861 Two... 367 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,196 ♪ do do do-do do 368 00:14:57,231 --> 00:15:00,016 ♪ do do, do do do-do do 369 00:15:00,238 --> 00:15:01,934 welcome to "Tessa Talk." 370 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,387 I'm your host... Tessa. 371 00:15:04,648 --> 00:15:07,695 Today we are going to be talking about what it takes 372 00:15:07,696 --> 00:15:09,592 to get an episode of television on the air, 373 00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:10,893 how to deal with talent, 374 00:15:10,928 --> 00:15:12,914 manage the expectations of the faculty, 375 00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:15,729 and how to produce an entertaining segment. 376 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,567 Phone lines are open. 377 00:15:31,227 --> 00:15:32,641 Does anybody wanna... 378 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:34,606 talk about my body? 379 00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:41,463 Sorry. Albinos can't drink from this fountain. 380 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,761 You're so pale. You look like a vampire. 381 00:15:44,805 --> 00:15:46,288 Do you need a transfusion? 382 00:15:46,294 --> 00:15:48,196 You should be in the next "Twilight" movie, 383 00:15:48,316 --> 00:15:50,360 'cause your skin looks like a dead vam... 384 00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:53,489 I get it. My tan's not good enough for you guys. 385 00:15:53,609 --> 00:15:56,217 It's not your tan. It's you. 386 00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,082 We don't like you 'cause you're new. 387 00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:01,709 Oh. I used to make fun of new people, too. 388 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,512 Just ask Tessa. 389 00:16:03,737 --> 00:16:05,701 Maybe one day you'll get transferred, 390 00:16:05,702 --> 00:16:07,016 and then you'll know what it feels like 391 00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:09,119 to be the odd biyatch out. 392 00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:10,721 Biyatch. 393 00:16:11,807 --> 00:16:14,108 I miss my old school. 394 00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:17,296 You wanted to see me? 395 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,766 I didn't want to see you. 396 00:16:18,886 --> 00:16:21,001 The cancellation bear wanted to see you. 397 00:16:21,316 --> 00:16:23,217 In his den. 398 00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:25,653 What is this? 399 00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:27,614 Our ratings went down 24. 400 00:16:27,914 --> 00:16:29,240 That means we got a 1. 401 00:16:29,453 --> 00:16:32,473 You lost Chef Alan, and when you've lost Chef Alan, 402 00:16:32,474 --> 00:16:33,969 you've lost America. 403 00:16:34,013 --> 00:16:36,546 Mr. Wolfe, I'm sorry. 404 00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:39,449 But I can't dedicate myself to a show 405 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:43,673 that fixates on the most superficial, unimportant aspect 406 00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,487 of being a human being. 407 00:16:45,719 --> 00:16:48,046 Aren't you dating Ryan now? 408 00:16:49,054 --> 00:16:50,160 Kind of. 409 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,656 Then you should know. 410 00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:55,611 What makes "Body Talk" great isn't Ryan's great body. 411 00:16:55,823 --> 00:16:58,969 He also has an amazing spirit. 412 00:17:00,028 --> 00:17:02,393 I assumed that was what you liked about him. 413 00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:07,455 It is. 414 00:17:07,718 --> 00:17:10,414 The best thing to wash down a big slice of humble pie... 415 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,399 East Chatswin tap water. 416 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,937 Oh! Javier! Oh, thank goodness! 417 00:17:20,008 --> 00:17:22,333 Oh, I didn't know you worked at this club, too. 418 00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:23,866 I need to file a complaint 419 00:17:23,986 --> 00:17:25,274 about the water! 420 00:17:25,486 --> 00:17:27,230 It's unfruited. 421 00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:28,859 Actually, I don't work here, Dallas. 422 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,599 I... I'm a member just like you. 423 00:17:30,624 --> 00:17:31,781 Javier, no. 424 00:17:31,901 --> 00:17:33,871 How could you belong to an establishment 425 00:17:33,915 --> 00:17:36,606 who puts little, if any, fruit in their water? 426 00:17:36,726 --> 00:17:38,332 Truth told, I'm a tap man. 427 00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:39,897 A tap man? 428 00:17:39,903 --> 00:17:43,437 - Dallas. Hey. - George! Thank God, George. 429 00:17:43,557 --> 00:17:44,833 The water... 430 00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:46,748 is unfruited. 431 00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:50,207 Well, uh, I... I got some bad news. 432 00:17:50,275 --> 00:17:51,752 Worse than unfruited? 433 00:17:51,802 --> 00:17:54,814 On a scale of one to ten, unfruited being a nine? 434 00:17:54,815 --> 00:17:56,649 It's a ten. It's Marty. 435 00:17:56,683 --> 00:17:58,183 He not only rejected our appeal, 436 00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,329 but now he has a restraining order against me. 437 00:18:01,024 --> 00:18:02,306 So looks like neither one of us 438 00:18:02,325 --> 00:18:03,482 is going to the Chatswin country club 439 00:18:03,489 --> 00:18:04,959 anytime soon. 440 00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:06,309 I see. 441 00:18:06,343 --> 00:18:09,408 Hey. But hey, hey, I will personally cut fruit 442 00:18:09,528 --> 00:18:11,866 and put it in your water every single day of the week. 443 00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:14,257 And I'll join the east Chatswin "Y," too. 444 00:18:14,651 --> 00:18:16,836 We're in this together, okay? 445 00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:18,271 Okay. 446 00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:22,178 If I have to slum it, I guess I'd rather slum it with you. 447 00:18:23,054 --> 00:18:25,094 I'd rather slum it with you, too. 448 00:18:28,735 --> 00:18:30,262 Hey, Javier. 449 00:18:30,382 --> 00:18:30,985 Hola. 450 00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:32,643 While Dallas made peace with the idea 451 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:33,721 of not belonging to a club 452 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:35,278 that didn't want to have her as a member, 453 00:18:35,316 --> 00:18:37,405 I realized that I already belonged 454 00:18:37,406 --> 00:18:38,889 to something that meant more to me 455 00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:40,390 than any after-school activity. 456 00:18:40,391 --> 00:18:44,408 Welcome to a special edition of "Body Talk." 457 00:18:44,671 --> 00:18:46,947 Today I'm going to be answering questions 458 00:18:46,954 --> 00:18:49,312 on everybody's favorite subject... 459 00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:51,746 Ryan Shay. 460 00:18:51,946 --> 00:18:53,905 The two of us started dating recently, 461 00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:57,759 so I'm practically an expert on him 462 00:18:57,822 --> 00:19:00,011 and his amazing body. 463 00:19:00,068 --> 00:19:02,090 The phone lines are open for your questions. 464 00:19:04,116 --> 00:19:05,974 Hey, Tessa, I was just wondering... 465 00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,164 what's your favorite part of "the body's" body? 466 00:19:08,202 --> 00:19:09,745 Great question, caller. 467 00:19:09,865 --> 00:19:11,505 Um... 468 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,821 I'd have to say it's his heart. 469 00:19:15,134 --> 00:19:19,205 Yeah, his heart is even bigger than his quads, 470 00:19:19,206 --> 00:19:22,710 which, as you know, are... huge. 471 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,599 Ladies and gentlemen, 472 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,776 this is an exciting day on "Body Talk." 473 00:19:31,287 --> 00:19:34,717 Please welcome the star of our show 474 00:19:34,736 --> 00:19:37,859 and the guy I wanna say "sorry" to... 475 00:19:37,893 --> 00:19:40,061 Ryan Shay. 476 00:19:46,129 --> 00:19:48,536 I'm sorry I called you a loser. 477 00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:51,840 I'm sorry I was acting like one. 478 00:20:06,134 --> 00:20:08,449 Where there's a will, there's a way. 479 00:20:08,464 --> 00:20:11,102 And Noah wasn't willing to lose his best friend 480 00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:12,347 to East Chatswin. 481 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,939 Noah, what's going on in here? 482 00:20:23,059 --> 00:20:25,085 Hey, Marty! 483 00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:27,000 What, you don't like my friends? 484 00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:28,839 I got them all guest passes. 485 00:20:28,902 --> 00:20:30,416 They love it here. 486 00:20:30,841 --> 00:20:33,907 They said they're gonna come all the time, huh? 487 00:20:35,496 --> 00:20:36,828 You bastard. 488 00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:39,612 How much to get my steam room back? 489 00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,032 You can get it back cheap. 490 00:20:41,057 --> 00:20:43,905 It'll just cost you one stamp. 491 00:20:45,726 --> 00:20:47,008 And just like that, 492 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,298 the Royces were citizens of Chatswin again. 493 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,107 And not a minute too soon for Dalia. 494 00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:58,545 Bye, losers. 495 00:20:58,589 --> 00:21:00,266 I'm done being a loser. 496 00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:03,163 Does this school validate? 497 00:21:03,689 --> 00:21:05,672 My old school validates. 498 00:21:07,419 --> 00:21:10,397 No? You guys all probably take the bus. 499 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,148 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com -