1 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:07,503 I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long. These are great. 2 00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:10,801 - I just started number six. - That's a good one. 3 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,535 Dumbledore dies in that one. 4 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,443 Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either. 5 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,918 Why would you say that? 6 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:24,522 You brought up a subject, I contributed a fact on that subject. 7 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,887 It's called the art of conversation. Okay, your turn. 8 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,524 That was a huge spoiler. 9 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:33,323 Good. 10 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:38,398 What is wrong with you? If I did that, you'd bitch about it for weeks. 11 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:40,937 Really, Leonard? Gonna have one of your hissy fits? 12 00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:43,101 Hissy fits? I have hissy fits? 13 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,868 Yes. And I have a theory why. 14 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:50,209 Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. 15 00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:53,750 Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. 16 00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:59,084 I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman. 17 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:06,289 You are unbelievable. I don't know why I put up with you. 18 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:11,095 - You're controlling, you're irritating... - There you go again. Nag, nag, nag. 19 00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:14,300 You're only proving my point, little lady. 20 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,137 You know what, screw you, Sheldon. 21 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,743 You're the most annoying person I've ever met. 22 00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:23,905 I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. 23 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:28,144 "Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast." 24 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,618 "Sheldon, when the president of the university... 25 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:34,590 ...is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch." 26 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,627 "Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts because they're ugly." 27 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,128 You're impossible. 28 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,191 That's it, I don't have to put up with this. 29 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:46,394 Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do. 30 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:50,134 Aww. Here's what I think of your roommate agreement. 31 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,044 - You pick that up right now. - No. 32 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,273 Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5: 33 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:02,319 "The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground." 34 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,014 I don't care. 35 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:10,720 I don't have to do anything you say, because I don't think I wanna live here anymore. 36 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,624 - Where are you going? - To live with Penny... 37 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,290 ...not you, you crazy bastard. 38 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,470 - Crazy bastard? - Yes. 39 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,066 - Leonard, wait. - What? 40 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,667 Dobby the Elf dies in book seven. 41 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:55,731 Here you go. 42 00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:58,739 - Great. Come on in. - What, you don't say thank you? 43 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,572 It's my suitcase. I lent it to you two years ago. 44 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,550 I should tell you I broke the wheel and the handle. 45 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:12,182 So is everyone from Bernadette's company going to Vegas? 46 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,088 No, just me, her, and a couple of the bigwigs. 47 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,024 It's part of a bonus she got. 48 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,357 Cool. Did she discover a cure for something? 49 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:23,593 Not exactly. They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication... 50 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:27,364 ...that had the side effect of horrible anal leakage. 51 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,806 Is there a good anal leakage? 52 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:39,084 Anyway, it was Bernie's idea to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation. 53 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:44,646 Way to make lemonade, you know, from around the corner where fudge is made. 54 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,729 - Hey, I got a favor to ask. - Sure. 55 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,592 My mom's been kind of an emotional wreck... 56 00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:56,758 ...since that dentist she was dating dumped her. 57 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,768 Dumped her? What did he use, a forklift? 58 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:03,908 Sorry. 59 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,772 There's nothing funny about morbid obesity. 60 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,281 She's huge, it was funny. 61 00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:13,846 Anyway, I was just hoping that maybe you could check in on her tomorrow night... 62 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,921 ...make sure she's doing okay. - Dude, I'm a single man. 63 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:20,615 Saturday night is my party night. 64 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,656 Really, what do you got going on? 65 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:26,127 I don't know, maybe drive down to Hollywood... 66 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,631 ...hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky. 67 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,202 Tell me if this sounds familiar. Ahem. 68 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,965 You pay $15 to park, you stand on the sidewalk for an hour... 69 00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:39,008 ...until you break down and give the bouncer 20 to let you in. 70 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:42,648 You push your way to the bar where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan. 71 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:46,285 Then you stare at a pretty girl and imagine your perfect life together. 72 00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:49,284 Children, grandchildren. Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy... 73 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,889 ...who claims he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua. 74 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,692 Then you give up on love, go to Marie Callender's... 75 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,989 ...buy a pie and eat it in your car in the parking lot. 76 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,835 - What time should I be at your mother's? - I told her around 7. 77 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:11,500 I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met. 78 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,605 Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. 79 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,912 Like Bert and Ernie. 80 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:22,517 You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers. 81 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,156 Well, I've had it, I am done. 82 00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,189 I can't live with him one more minute. 83 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,190 Wow, where are you gonna go? 84 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,329 Well, I was thinking here with you. 85 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,264 Oh. 86 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:37,631 Is that a problem? 87 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,431 No, no, no. It's great. 88 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,870 It's terrific. You know, I just can't help feel bad about Sheldon. 89 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:47,171 I mean, how's he gonna get by without you... 90 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,037 ...Ernie? 91 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,845 - He's got Amy now. - Yeah, he does... 92 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,543 ...but it's not the same. - Why? 93 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,187 Um... 94 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:02,361 Well, all right, you know how in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince... 95 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:05,895 ...Ron didn't abandon Harry because Harry started dating Ron's sister? 96 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,727 Harry and Ginny get together? 97 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:17,702 Sorry, spoiler alert. My point is, as much as I want to live with you... 98 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,276 ...I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you. 99 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,472 Please. The only thing he needs me for is to be his whipping boy. 100 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,479 His stooge, his doormat. 101 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,448 Well, you know what they say, if it ain't broke... 102 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:34,188 Wow, it sounds to me like you don't want us to live together. 103 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:39,798 No. No, no, I do. I do. It's just... It's a really big step. 104 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:43,457 Is it? We're together all the time. Financially, it makes great sense. 105 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,763 Can you think of one reason why we shouldn't do this? 106 00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,298 Well, um... 107 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,738 Heh. I'm just a little thirsty. 108 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,342 I got nothing. 109 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,846 Great. I'll go get my stuff. 110 00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:11,118 Okay. All right, don't freak out. You can make this work. 111 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:16,132 Oh. Could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom? I take a lot of medicine. 112 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:20,233 Oh, please, let some of it be Xanax. 113 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,969 Are you ready for dessert? 114 00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,113 No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz. 115 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,179 As is, I'm going to have to carry my stomach out of here... 116 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,752 ...like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant. 117 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:41,183 Oh, please, you're a tall glass of brown water. 118 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,130 - Have dessert. - I really couldn't. 119 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:49,062 But I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things... 120 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,169 ...you've had removed from your body over the years. 121 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:56,202 I didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst. 122 00:07:56,576 --> 00:08:00,273 The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls. 123 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:06,078 Well, if you have to go, how about I put a little doggie bag together for you? 124 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,014 That would be lovely, thank you. 125 00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:14,292 Mrs. Wolowitz... 126 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,487 ...are you okay? 127 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:17,993 Don't mind me. 128 00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:21,894 I just cry when I'm Ionely and have nothing to live for. 129 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,673 I... 130 00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:31,333 I suppose I could stay for some dessert. 131 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,705 Great. You like chocolate chip cheesecake? 132 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,507 - Sure. - I'll make one. 133 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:43,385 One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure. 134 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,685 - That's Leonard's. - Children's toy. 135 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:50,954 One Star Trek: The Next Generation phaser. 136 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,221 That's Leonard's. 137 00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:55,066 Children's toy. 138 00:08:55,601 --> 00:09:00,595 One Game of Thrones collector's edition Longclaw sword. 139 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,365 Leonard and I bought that together. 140 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,067 That's a bit of an ethical conundrum. 141 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,907 I'll keep it. 142 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,708 So, what's your plan moving forward? 143 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:15,251 I suppose I'll have to find and cultivate a new roommate. 144 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,217 What a task that will be. 145 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,915 Do you know how uncivilized Leonard was when I took him in? 146 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,852 - No. - It took me forever... 147 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,088 ...to get him on a bathroom schedule. 148 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,996 He would just go whenever the mood struck him. 149 00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:34,234 - Like a dog boy. - Exactly. 150 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,603 What if you could find a roommate who was a scientist... 151 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,404 ...and already familiar and comfortable with your ways? 152 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:41,978 That would be ideal. 153 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:47,414 If a person like that existed, I would sign on, no further questions asked. 154 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,611 Great, here I am. 155 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,424 Wait. 156 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,529 Here who is where? 157 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,463 Me. Aren't I your perfect roommate? 158 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,602 - Um... - Think about it, Sheldon. 159 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:09,468 I'm not a stranger, we're intellectually compatible... 160 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,940 ...I'm willing to chauffeur you around, and your personality quirks... 161 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:17,343 ...which others find abhorrent or rage-inducing, I find cute as a button. 162 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,314 What do you think? 163 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,124 Um... 164 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,921 Tell me one reason why this isn't a fantastic idea. 165 00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,530 Um... 166 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,792 See? You can't. 167 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:39,369 I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room is big enough for my water bed. 168 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,903 Um... 169 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,107 Good buddy Leonard? Good buddy Leonard. 170 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,976 Good buddy Leonard? 171 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,319 - What do you want? - Hey, good buddy. 172 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,883 So I was just talking to Amy... 173 00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:01,992 ...and she made me realize that this little dust-up... 174 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,594 ...between you and me is much ado about nothing. 175 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,823 - Is that so? - Yes. All is forgiven, so come back home. 176 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:12,471 I'll make you some soy hot chocolate and then I'll tell you about... 177 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:16,199 ...our exciting new devil-may-care bathroom policy. 178 00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,477 Cut to the chase, Sheldon. 179 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,206 Okay. Amy has decided she wants to move in with me... 180 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,908 ...so I need you to come back home, you lovable scamp. 181 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,951 That's a lot of product. 182 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:33,553 - Hey. What's going on? - Get this. 183 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:37,126 Suddenly, Sheldon wants me back because Amy wants to move in with him. 184 00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:39,297 Really? Interesting. 185 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,360 Well, too late, pal, I'm not going anywhere. 186 00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,799 Penny and I are very happy living together. Isn't that right? 187 00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:48,872 It's like the happiness won't ever leave the apartment. 188 00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,835 Leonard, please, you know Amy moving in... 189 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,945 ...marks a level of intimacy our relationship isn't ready for. 190 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:59,516 Yes. That is a real thing. And it doesn't mean you don't care about each other... 191 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,883 ...it just means things are moving at a pace you're not comfortable with. And that's fine. 192 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,184 If he doesn't wanna live with her, he should tell her how he feels. 193 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,385 Maybe he doesn't know how to say it without hurting her feelings. 194 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,895 Feelings? Who am I, a hippie at a love-in? No. 195 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:18,093 The problem is she laid out a series of logical arguments that I couldn't refute. 196 00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:21,033 - That is the worst, isn't it? - Yes. 197 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,208 I'm sorry, Sheldon. I can't help you. 198 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,742 Oh, spoiler alert: This door's about to slam in your face. 199 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:33,082 Oh, there you are. When do I get a key to our apartment? 200 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:36,681 Um... 201 00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:52,131 - Hello? - Hey. 202 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,466 - How'd it go last night with my mom? - Okay, I guess. 203 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:56,834 What time did you leave? 204 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,969 Actually, I'm still here. 205 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,645 - What? You spent the night? - Yeah. 206 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,782 After dinner, we watched a rerun of Rockford Files... 207 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,458 ...and then she opened a bottle of cream sherry... 208 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:17,561 ...and the next thing I know she was tucking me into your bed. 209 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,164 You wore my pajamas? 210 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,561 Mm-hm. 211 00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,133 How do you sleep in these things? Silk pajamas on satin sheets? 212 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:29,102 I slid out of the bed like three times. 213 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,341 Rajesh? You up? 214 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,840 You ready for breakfast? 215 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:35,671 Oh, boy, breakfast. 216 00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:39,380 Okay, Raj, listen. You need to get out of there. 217 00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:43,714 But I have a cream sherry hangover and I smell blintzes. 218 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:49,388 If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life. 219 00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:50,652 Oh, Howard, stop. 220 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,696 Trust me, you're not Jewish, that's how they get you. 221 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,700 You're being silly. I can leave whenever I want. 222 00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,599 Oh, really? Where are your clothes and your shoes? 223 00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:03,138 They're on the chair right over... 224 00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,206 Oy vey. 225 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,377 Hello, homewrecker. 226 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:17,748 What did I do? 227 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,890 You gave Leonard somewhere to go. 228 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:23,390 Thanks to you, Amy's out buying his and hers bath towels. 229 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:27,326 Like I'd ever dry myself with something that has a possessive pronoun on it. 230 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,865 Okay, listen... 231 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,331 ...the truth is I don't want him living with me. 232 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:37,168 Great. Kick him out, break his heart, everybody wins. 233 00:14:37,776 --> 00:14:41,405 No, I don't wanna break his heart, I love him. This is happening too fast. 234 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:42,705 You think this is fast? 235 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:46,407 It is just a matter of time before I see Amy's leg stubble in my shower. 236 00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:50,650 Yeah, and I've seen those legs. You might wanna get some Drano. 237 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:56,056 Hold on. If you don't want to live with Leonard, why don't you just tell him? 238 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,958 Well, you know how he is. He's sensitive and emotional. 239 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,666 That's because he drinks too much soy milk. 240 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,863 I don't know what else we can do but tell them the truth. 241 00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,900 I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying... 242 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:13,169 ...angry accusations, and the high-pitched wails of despair. 243 00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:16,405 Yeah. And who knows how Amy will react. 244 00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:21,779 Here's some more ice. 245 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:25,488 - Thanks. - What were we thinking? 246 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,420 We should have just done it the regular way. 247 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:33,755 Those Chinese acrobats in Cirque Du Soleil made it look so easy. 248 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,700 Honestly, if I could bend that far, what would I need with you? 249 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,300 If you could bend that far, you'd be doing us both a favor. 250 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,483 Hey, Raj, what's up? 251 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:56,620 You were right. I can't get out of here. 252 00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,151 - You're still at my mother's? - I'm trapped. 253 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:03,522 My clothes have been in the laundry all day, and she hid my keys. 254 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:07,960 I think they might be in her bra because she jingles when she walks. 255 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,658 What do I do? 256 00:16:09,868 --> 00:16:12,837 Hey, you wanted a woman in your life, now you got one. 257 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,234 Come on, Howard, help me. 258 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:19,275 Rajesh, tatellah, I ran you a bath! 259 00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:24,044 Oh, my God, she's not gonna bathe me, is she? 260 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,021 Gee, I wish I could tell you no. 261 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,491 All right, well, thanks again for helping me out. 262 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,186 Howard... 263 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:43,030 - Should we go back and rescue him? - Too late. We'll see him at his bar mitzvah. 264 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:46,995 Here you go. 265 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:50,403 I picked up the Chinese food just the way Leonard used to. 266 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,166 - Is it kung pao chicken? - Yes. 267 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,039 - Brown rice, not white rice? - Yes. 268 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,179 - Spicy mustard from the Korean deli? - Yes. 269 00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,680 - I did good, right? - Yes. 270 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:05,082 Amy, are you worried that us living together... 271 00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,724 ...will take the mystery out of our relationship? 272 00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:11,054 - No. - Yeah, why would you? 273 00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:12,820 Oh, and check this out. 274 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:17,560 I took the liberty of scripting a new outgoing voicemail message for both of us. 275 00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:22,999 "Hello, this is Sheldon." 276 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,232 "And this is Amy." 277 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,910 "We're not home right now." 278 00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,739 "'Cause we out dropping science, son." 279 00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,880 - "Leave a message." - "Leave a message." 280 00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:40,788 Beep. Heh. 281 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,960 You can't live here. 282 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:49,225 What? Why? Is it the message? 283 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:53,963 I only used urban slang to sound tough so people wouldn't break in. 284 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,400 It's not the message. 285 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:59,065 Well, what is it then? I did everything just the way you like it. 286 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,940 - You did. - Then what the hell, Sheldon? 287 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:08,916 We have been going out for over two years, and I've been nothing but patient with you. 288 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:13,080 I watch your dopey space movies, I signed your ridiculous contracts. 289 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:16,784 I stopped wearing lip gloss because you said it made my mouth look slippery. 290 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:21,432 I am the best girlfriend you're ever gonna have. 291 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,227 You give me one good reason why I can't live here. 292 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,364 It's Penny's fault. 293 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,234 - What? - She doesn't wanna live with Leonard... 294 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,969 ...so he has to come live here again. She's the snake in our garden. 295 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,012 She's the reason we can't be happy. 296 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,950 - Hey, Ames. - Yeah, "Hey, Ames" nothing. 297 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,918 I was all set to move in with Sheldon and I can't because... 298 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,923 - ...you don't wanna live with Leonard. - What? 299 00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:51,792 Sheldon, what did you say? 300 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:54,989 The truth. You don't wanna live with Leonard and you know it. 301 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,499 - Since when don't you want to live with me? - You decided to move in... 302 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:02,640 ...without even asking me if I was ready. - I think we should talk about that. 303 00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:05,000 Since you love the truth so much... 304 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:08,543 ...why not tell Amy you don't wanna live with her instead of blaming me? 305 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:11,010 I thought we were talking about the other thing. 306 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:16,477 - You're a coward. - Well, the evidence does support that. 307 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:22,984 Come on, Amy. Let's go drink wine and talk about what jerks our boyfriends are. 308 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:26,687 You know what would show them? I should move in here with you. 309 00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,567 Um... 310 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:45,544 So you wanna catch up on some Walking Dead? 311 00:19:46,552 --> 00:19:47,576 Okay. 312 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,379 Have you seen the one where Lori dies? 313 00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,218 No. 314 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,662 Or maybe she doesn't, let's find out. 315 00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:19,778 - Where are you going? - No!