1
00:00:02,827 --> 00:00:05,508
I don't know why I avoided the
Harry Potter books for so long.
2
00:00:05,526 --> 00:00:06,789
These are great.
3
00:00:06,805 --> 00:00:08,338
I just started number six.
4
00:00:08,362 --> 00:00:09,913
That's a good one.
5
00:00:09,984 --> 00:00:11,831
Dumbledore dies in that one.
6
00:00:14,821 --> 00:00:17,630
Yeah, I know,
I didn't see it coming, either.
7
00:00:18,479 --> 00:00:19,820
Why would you say that?
8
00:00:19,839 --> 00:00:21,071
You brought up the subject.
9
00:00:21,098 --> 00:00:23,568
I contributed an interesting
fact on that subject.
10
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,657
It's called the art
of conversation.
11
00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:27,689
Okay, your turn.
12
00:00:28,938 --> 00:00:30,665
That was a huge spoiler.
13
00:00:30,677 --> 00:00:32,174
Good.
14
00:00:33,245 --> 00:00:35,057
What is wrong with you?
15
00:00:35,082 --> 00:00:37,181
If I did that, you'd bitch
about it for weeks.
16
00:00:37,206 --> 00:00:38,449
Oh, really, Leonard?
17
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,548
Are you going to have another
one of your hissy fits?
18
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,390
Hissy fits?
I have hissy fits?
19
00:00:42,421 --> 00:00:44,805
Yes, and I have a theory why.
20
00:00:45,082 --> 00:00:47,615
Because of
your lactose intolerance,
21
00:00:47,652 --> 00:00:49,463
you switched over to soy milk.
22
00:00:49,494 --> 00:00:52,881
Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds.
23
00:00:53,044 --> 00:00:55,311
I think your morning Cocoa Puffs
24
00:00:55,337 --> 00:00:58,455
are turning you
into a hysterical woman.
25
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,813
You are unbelievable.
26
00:01:03,844 --> 00:01:05,441
I don't know why
I put up with you.
27
00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:07,310
You're controlling,
you're irritating...
28
00:01:07,322 --> 00:01:09,975
There you go again--
nag, nag, nag.
29
00:01:11,251 --> 00:01:13,202
You're only proving my point,
little lady.
30
00:01:14,436 --> 00:01:16,558
You know what?
Screw you, Sheldon.
31
00:01:16,645 --> 00:01:19,148
You are the most annoying person
I have ever met.
32
00:01:19,172 --> 00:01:20,571
What? I'm annoying?
33
00:01:20,599 --> 00:01:23,090
You criticize my behavior
all the time.
34
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:26,805
"Sheldon, don't talk about your
bowel movements over breakfast."
35
00:01:27,336 --> 00:01:29,755
"Sheldon, when the president
of the university
36
00:01:29,791 --> 00:01:31,345
"is giving a eulogy
at a funeral,
37
00:01:31,363 --> 00:01:33,646
don't yawn
and point at your watch."
38
00:01:33,837 --> 00:01:35,837
"Sheldon,
don't throw away my shirts
39
00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:36,937
'cause you think they're ugly."
40
00:01:36,961 --> 00:01:38,244
You're impossible.
41
00:01:38,996 --> 00:01:40,202
That's it. I don't...
42
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,469
I don't have to
put up with this.
43
00:01:41,506 --> 00:01:43,842
Actually, I have your signature
on a roommate agreement
44
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:45,276
that says you do.
45
00:01:45,407 --> 00:01:46,593
Aw.
46
00:01:46,664 --> 00:01:49,299
Here's what I think
of your roommate agreement.
47
00:01:49,327 --> 00:01:50,793
(gasps)
48
00:01:52,789 --> 00:01:55,157
- You pick that up right now.
- No.
49
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:57,528
Roommate agreement,
section 27, paragraph 5:
50
00:01:57,553 --> 00:01:59,503
The roommate agreement,
like the American flag,
51
00:01:59,523 --> 00:02:01,907
cannot touch the ground.
52
00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:04,254
I don't care.
53
00:02:04,307 --> 00:02:07,060
I don't have to do
anything you say because...
54
00:02:07,322 --> 00:02:09,654
I don't think I want
to live here anymore.
55
00:02:10,293 --> 00:02:11,282
Where are you going?
56
00:02:11,307 --> 00:02:13,908
To live with Penny and not you,
you crazy bastard.
57
00:02:14,352 --> 00:02:16,487
- Crazy bastard?
- Yes.
58
00:02:16,993 --> 00:02:19,297
- Leonard, wait.
- What?
59
00:02:20,149 --> 00:02:22,229
Dobby the elf dies
in book seven.
60
00:02:26,659 --> 00:02:30,141
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
61
00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:33,958
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
62
00:02:33,989 --> 00:02:35,332
♪ The Earth began to cool
63
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,247
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
64
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:40,184
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
65
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,075
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
66
00:02:43,106 --> 00:02:45,139
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
67
00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:46,234
♪ Bang! ♪
68
00:02:46,255 --> 00:02:48,755
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x15 ♪
The Spoiler Alert Segmentation
Original Air Date on February 7, 2013
69
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,293
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
70
00:02:51,809 --> 00:02:54,533
- Here you go.
- Great. Come on in.
71
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,394
What, you don't say thank you?
72
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,183
It's my suitcase.
I lent it to you two years ago.
73
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,961
Well, then, I should tell you I
broke the wheel and the handle.
74
00:03:06,284 --> 00:03:09,442
So, is everyone from Bernadette's
company going to Vegas?
75
00:03:09,465 --> 00:03:12,606
No, just me, her
and a couple of the big wigs.
76
00:03:12,637 --> 00:03:14,230
It's part of a bonus she got.
77
00:03:14,274 --> 00:03:16,641
Cool. Did she discover
a cure for something?
78
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:17,898
Not exactly.
79
00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,743
They spent a ton of
money developing this
80
00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:21,833
dandruff medication
that had the side effect
81
00:03:21,855 --> 00:03:23,855
of horrible anal leakage.
82
00:03:26,648 --> 00:03:28,866
Is there a good anal leakage?
83
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:33,108
Anyway, it was Bernie's idea
84
00:03:33,132 --> 00:03:35,584
to rebrand the stuff as a
cure for constipation.
85
00:03:35,697 --> 00:03:36,666
(chuckles)
86
00:03:36,711 --> 00:03:38,666
Way to make lemonade.
87
00:03:38,824 --> 00:03:41,725
You know, from around the
corner where fudge is made.
88
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,999
Hey, I got a favor to ask.
89
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,093
Sure.
90
00:03:48,124 --> 00:03:50,941
My mom's been kind of
an emotional wreck
91
00:03:50,972 --> 00:03:53,768
since that dentist
she was dating dumped her.
92
00:03:53,797 --> 00:03:55,713
Dumped her?
What, did he use a forklift?
93
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:56,983
(laughing)
94
00:03:59,628 --> 00:04:01,157
Sorry.
95
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,817
There's nothing funny
about morbid obesity.
96
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,752
She's huge. It was funny.
(laughing)
97
00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:08,980
Anyway, I was just hoping
98
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,160
that maybe you could check in
on her tomorrow night
99
00:04:11,177 --> 00:04:12,768
and make sure she's doing okay.
100
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,293
Dude, I'm a single man.
101
00:04:15,311 --> 00:04:17,959
Saturday night
is my party night.
102
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,868
Really?
What do you got going on?
103
00:04:20,997 --> 00:04:23,088
I don't know,
maybe drive down to Hollywood,
104
00:04:23,112 --> 00:04:25,780
hit a few hot spots,
see if I can get lucky.
105
00:04:26,193 --> 00:04:28,276
Okay, tell me
if this sounds familiar.
106
00:04:28,317 --> 00:04:29,850
(clears throat)
107
00:04:30,039 --> 00:04:31,811
You pay $15 to park,
108
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:33,600
you stand on the sidewalk
for an hour
109
00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:36,331
until you break down and give the
bouncer 20 bucks to let you in.
110
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:39,924
You push your way to the bar, where
you drink an $18 cosmopolitan,
111
00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:42,229
then you stare at a pretty girl
112
00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:43,967
and imagine your perfect life
together.
113
00:04:43,997 --> 00:04:45,555
Your children, grandchildren.
114
00:04:45,574 --> 00:04:47,000
Meanwhile, she leaves
with a guy who claims
115
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:49,175
he wrote
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
116
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,199
Then you give up
on anyone ever loving you,
117
00:04:52,215 --> 00:04:53,594
go to Marie Callender's,
buy a pie
118
00:04:53,619 --> 00:04:56,606
and eat it in your car
in the parking lot.
119
00:04:59,147 --> 00:05:01,907
- What time should I be at your mother's?
- I told her around 7:00.
120
00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:06,541
I swear, that man is
the most egotistical,
121
00:05:06,559 --> 00:05:08,943
insufferable human
being I have ever met.
122
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:11,583
Yeah, but you two make
such a cute couple.
123
00:05:13,275 --> 00:05:15,226
Like Burt and Ernie.
124
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:20,021
You guys even teach me stuff
about words and numbers.
125
00:05:20,812 --> 00:05:22,411
Well, I've had it.
I am done.
126
00:05:22,442 --> 00:05:24,676
I can't... I can't live with him
for one more minute.
127
00:05:24,695 --> 00:05:26,306
Wow. Where are you going to go?
128
00:05:26,337 --> 00:05:28,396
I was thinking here with you.
129
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:32,769
Oh.
130
00:05:33,644 --> 00:05:34,891
That a problem?
131
00:05:34,922 --> 00:05:37,735
No, not at all.
No, it's-it's great.
132
00:05:37,753 --> 00:05:39,019
It's terrific. I...
133
00:05:39,046 --> 00:05:41,169
You know, I just can't help
feel bad about Sheldon.
134
00:05:41,194 --> 00:05:42,138
I mean...
135
00:05:42,159 --> 00:05:44,543
how's he going to get by
without you?
136
00:05:44,776 --> 00:05:46,107
Ernie.
137
00:05:48,174 --> 00:05:49,369
He's got Amy now.
138
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,725
Yeah, he does,
but it's not the same.
139
00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:53,048
Why?
140
00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:55,694
Um...
141
00:05:56,099 --> 00:05:57,286
Well, um, all right.
142
00:05:57,317 --> 00:05:59,767
You-you know how in Harry Potter
and the Half-Blood Prince,
143
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,348
Ron didn't abandon Harry
just because
144
00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:02,967
Harry started
dating Ron's sister?
145
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,585
Harry and Ginny get together?
146
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,274
Sorry.
Spoiler alert.
147
00:06:12,814 --> 00:06:14,832
My point is, as much
as I want to live with you,
148
00:06:14,844 --> 00:06:17,675
I can't do it knowing
how much Sheldon needs you.
149
00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:20,871
Please, the only thing he needs
me for is to be his whipping boy,
150
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:22,910
his-his stooge, his doormat.
151
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,764
Well, you know what they say:
if it ain't broke...
152
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,246
Wow.
153
00:06:29,359 --> 00:06:31,595
It sounds to me like you don't
want us to live together.
154
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,502
No. No, no, I do.
155
00:06:33,538 --> 00:06:34,954
I do. It's just...
156
00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:36,944
I mean, it's a really big step.
157
00:06:37,004 --> 00:06:38,003
Is it?
158
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:39,457
We're together all the time.
159
00:06:39,487 --> 00:06:40,915
Financially,
it makes great sense.
160
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:43,473
Can you think of one reason
why we shouldn't do this?
161
00:06:44,317 --> 00:06:46,724
Well... um...
162
00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:50,246
- I'm just a little thirsty.
- Yeah.
163
00:06:54,952 --> 00:06:56,988
I got nothing.
164
00:06:57,359 --> 00:06:59,155
Great. I'll go get my stuff.
165
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,549
(laughs nervously)
Yeah.
166
00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:06,539
Okay, all right,
don't freak out.
167
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:07,933
You can make this work.
168
00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:10,827
Oh, could you clear off
a shelf for me in the bathroom?
169
00:07:10,854 --> 00:07:12,860
I take a lot of medicine.
170
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,413
Oh, please let
some of it be Xanax.
171
00:07:21,613 --> 00:07:23,772
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Are you ready for dessert?
172
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,345
(grunts)
173
00:07:25,892 --> 00:07:27,611
No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz.
174
00:07:27,663 --> 00:07:30,202
As it is, I'm going to have
to carry my stomach out of here
175
00:07:30,221 --> 00:07:32,821
like I'm a fireman
rescuing an infant.
176
00:07:34,402 --> 00:07:35,369
Oh, please.
177
00:07:35,390 --> 00:07:38,295
You're a tall glass
of brown water.
178
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:40,820
Have dessert.
179
00:07:40,846 --> 00:07:42,450
Well, I-I really couldn't.
180
00:07:42,498 --> 00:07:44,967
But, uh, I've had a lovely time
eating your brisket
181
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:47,258
and hearing about the things
you've had removed
182
00:07:47,295 --> 00:07:49,369
from your body over the years.
183
00:07:50,256 --> 00:07:53,091
Didn't know you could have
a cyst inside another cyst.
184
00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:56,883
The doctor said they were
like Russian nesting dolls.
185
00:07:58,555 --> 00:08:00,058
Well, if you have to go,
186
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:03,292
how about I put a little
doggie bag together for you?
187
00:08:03,356 --> 00:08:05,811
That would be lovely.
Thank you.
188
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:08,532
(Mrs. Wolowitz sobbing)
189
00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:11,524
Mrs. Wolowitz, uh...
190
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,750
are you okay?
191
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,155
Don't mind me.
192
00:08:15,267 --> 00:08:18,668
I just cry when I'm lonely
and have nothing to live for.
193
00:08:24,308 --> 00:08:25,977
I, uh...
194
00:08:26,495 --> 00:08:28,828
I suppose I could stay
for some dessert.
195
00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:31,048
Great. You like
chocolate chip cheesecake?
196
00:08:31,088 --> 00:08:31,951
Sure.
197
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,728
I'll make one.
198
00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:41,077
One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk
action figure.
199
00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:42,626
That's Leonard's.
200
00:08:42,759 --> 00:08:44,723
Children's toy.
201
00:08:45,213 --> 00:08:48,416
One Star Trek:
The Next Generation phaser.
202
00:08:48,468 --> 00:08:49,834
That's Leonard's.
203
00:08:50,436 --> 00:08:52,353
Children's toy.
204
00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:56,838
One Game of Thrones collector's
edition Longclaw sword.
205
00:08:56,865 --> 00:09:00,059
Oh... Leonard and I
bought that together.
206
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:03,483
That's a bit
of an ethical conundrum.
207
00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:06,257
Eh, I'll keep it.
208
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,985
So, uh, what's your plan
moving forward?
209
00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:12,605
Uh, suppose I'll have to find
and cultivate a new roommate.
210
00:09:12,632 --> 00:09:14,334
What a task that will be.
211
00:09:14,357 --> 00:09:17,693
Do you know how uncivilized
Leonard was when I took him in?
212
00:09:18,939 --> 00:09:19,784
No.
213
00:09:19,811 --> 00:09:23,355
Oh, it took me forever to get
him on a bathroom schedule.
214
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:27,290
He would just go
whenever the mood struck him.
215
00:09:28,156 --> 00:09:30,631
- Like a dog-boy.
- Exactly.
216
00:09:31,476 --> 00:09:34,655
What if you could find a roommate
who was a scientist
217
00:09:34,692 --> 00:09:37,766
and already familiar
and comfortable with your ways?
218
00:09:37,816 --> 00:09:39,382
That would be ideal.
219
00:09:39,417 --> 00:09:41,190
If a person like that existed,
220
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:44,057
I would sign on,
no further questions asked.
221
00:09:44,848 --> 00:09:47,132
Great. Here I am!
222
00:09:52,129 --> 00:09:53,604
Wait.
223
00:09:53,768 --> 00:09:55,578
Here who is where?
224
00:09:57,402 --> 00:09:58,384
Me.
225
00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:00,836
Aren't I your perfect roommate?
226
00:10:01,132 --> 00:10:02,088
Um...
227
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,837
Think about it, Sheldon.
228
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:06,690
I'm not a stranger,
we're intellectually compatible,
229
00:10:06,702 --> 00:10:08,891
I'm willing to chauffeur
you around town,
230
00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,296
and your personality quirks,
231
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,526
which others find abhorrent
or rage-inducing,
232
00:10:12,551 --> 00:10:14,484
I find cute as a button.
233
00:10:15,761 --> 00:10:17,373
What do you think?
234
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,687
Um...
235
00:10:25,536 --> 00:10:28,377
Tell me one reason why this
isn't a fantastic idea.
236
00:10:28,408 --> 00:10:30,203
Um...
237
00:10:30,942 --> 00:10:32,704
See? You can't.
238
00:10:33,164 --> 00:10:36,044
I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room
is big enough for my water bed.
239
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:41,501
Um...
240
00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:46,004
Good buddy Leonard.
Good buddy Leonard.
241
00:10:46,477 --> 00:10:48,529
Good buddy Leonard.
242
00:10:50,603 --> 00:10:52,996
- What do you want?
- Hey, good buddy.
243
00:10:53,852 --> 00:10:56,398
So, uh, I was just talking to Amy,
244
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,992
and she made me realize
245
00:10:58,017 --> 00:11:00,347
that this little dust-up
between you and me
246
00:11:00,371 --> 00:11:02,041
is much ado about nothing.
247
00:11:02,766 --> 00:11:03,948
- Is that so?
- Yes.
248
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:06,229
All is forgiven,
so come back home.
249
00:11:06,272 --> 00:11:08,644
I'll make you
some soy hot chocolate,
250
00:11:08,677 --> 00:11:11,110
and then I'll you tell you
about our exciting new
251
00:11:11,121 --> 00:11:13,545
devil-may-care bathroom policy.
252
00:11:17,322 --> 00:11:18,848
Cut to the chase, Sheldon.
253
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,609
Okay. Amy's decided
she wants to move in with me,
254
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,637
so I need you to come back home,
you lovable scamp.
255
00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:28,131
That's a lot of product.
256
00:11:28,884 --> 00:11:29,640
Hey.
257
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:30,971
What's going on?
Oh, get this:
258
00:11:31,005 --> 00:11:32,696
Suddenly, Sheldon wants me back
259
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,518
because Amy wants
to move in with him.
260
00:11:34,547 --> 00:11:36,156
Really? Interesting.
261
00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:39,630
Well, too late, pal.
I'm not going anywhere.
262
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:41,763
Penny and I are very happy
living together.
263
00:11:41,794 --> 00:11:43,069
Isn't that right?
264
00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:45,846
It's like the happiness won't
ever leave the apartment.
265
00:11:46,767 --> 00:11:48,065
Leonard, please.
266
00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:50,614
You know Amy moving in
marks a level of intimacy
267
00:11:50,651 --> 00:11:52,200
our relationship
isn't ready for.
268
00:11:52,238 --> 00:11:54,622
Yes! That is a real thing.
269
00:11:54,962 --> 00:11:57,025
And it doesn't mean you
don't care about each other;
270
00:11:57,043 --> 00:11:58,530
it just means things
are moving at a pace
271
00:11:58,555 --> 00:12:00,588
you're not comfortable with,
and that's fine.
272
00:12:01,185 --> 00:12:02,695
Well, if he doesn't
want to live with her,
273
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,501
then he should
tell her how he feels.
274
00:12:04,526 --> 00:12:07,474
Well, maybe he doesn't know how to
say it without hurting her feelings.
275
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,438
Feelings?
276
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:11,061
What am I, a hippie
at a love-in? No.
277
00:12:11,373 --> 00:12:15,301
The problem is, she laid out a series of
logical arguments that I couldn't refute.
278
00:12:15,327 --> 00:12:17,356
- That is the worst, isn't it?
- Yes.
279
00:12:18,265 --> 00:12:20,483
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
I can't help you.
280
00:12:20,685 --> 00:12:21,850
Oh, spoiler alert:
281
00:12:21,877 --> 00:12:24,093
This door's about
to slam in your face.
282
00:12:25,432 --> 00:12:27,058
Oh, there you are.
283
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,297
When do I get a key
to our apartment?
284
00:12:32,398 --> 00:12:34,616
Um...
285
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,826
(phone ringing)
286
00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:46,898
Hello?
287
00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:49,265
Hey. How'd it go last night
with my mom?
288
00:12:49,531 --> 00:12:50,993
Okay, I guess.
289
00:12:51,011 --> 00:12:52,327
What time did you leave?
290
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,289
(yawns)
291
00:12:54,684 --> 00:12:57,198
Actually, I'm still here.
292
00:12:58,048 --> 00:13:00,286
What? You spent the night?
293
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:02,140
Yeah. Uh...
294
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:05,832
after dinner, we watched
a rerun of Rockford Files,
295
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,629
and then she opened a bottle
296
00:13:07,647 --> 00:13:10,013
of, uh, cream sherry,
and the next thing I know,
297
00:13:10,038 --> 00:13:12,937
she was tucking me
into your bed.
298
00:13:14,369 --> 00:13:16,640
You wore my pajamas?
299
00:13:16,673 --> 00:13:17,822
Mm-hmm.
300
00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:19,607
How do you sleep
in these things?
301
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:21,396
Silk pajamas on satin sheets?
302
00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:24,274
I slid out of the bed,
like, three times.
303
00:13:25,736 --> 00:13:26,817
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Rajesh!
304
00:13:26,829 --> 00:13:29,254
You up?
You ready for breakfast?
305
00:13:29,298 --> 00:13:31,369
Oh, boy. Breakfast.
306
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:34,772
Okay, Raj, listen to me.
You need to get out of there.
307
00:13:34,803 --> 00:13:39,355
But I have a cream sherry
hangover and I smell blintzes.
308
00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:42,880
If you don't leave now,
she'll use food and guilt
309
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,772
to keep you there
for the rest of your life.
310
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,014
Oh, Howard, stop.
311
00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:47,387
Trust me, you're not Jewish.
312
00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:48,892
That's how they get you.
313
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:51,324
You're being silly.
314
00:13:51,343 --> 00:13:53,205
I can leave whenever I want.
315
00:13:53,236 --> 00:13:55,785
Oh, really? Where are
your clothes and your shoes?
316
00:13:55,842 --> 00:13:58,148
They're on the chair,
right over...
317
00:13:59,691 --> 00:14:01,755
Oy vey.
318
00:14:07,508 --> 00:14:09,609
Hello, home wrecker.
319
00:14:11,783 --> 00:14:13,015
What did I do?
320
00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:15,146
You gave Leonard
somewhere to go.
321
00:14:15,307 --> 00:14:18,478
Thanks to you, Amy's out buying
his and hers bath towels.
322
00:14:18,805 --> 00:14:20,221
Like I'd ever dry myself
with something
323
00:14:20,246 --> 00:14:22,496
that has a possessive pronoun
on it.
324
00:14:23,683 --> 00:14:24,565
Okay.
325
00:14:24,589 --> 00:14:25,952
Listen,
326
00:14:26,409 --> 00:14:28,712
the truth is I don't want
him living with me.
327
00:14:28,773 --> 00:14:30,239
Great. Kick him out.
328
00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:32,474
Break his heart.
Everybody wins.
329
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,276
No, I don't want
to break his heart.
330
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,543
I love him. This is just
happening too fast.
331
00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:37,945
You think this is fast?
332
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:41,585
It's just a matter of time before I
see Amy's leg stubble in my shower.
333
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,646
Yeah, and I've seen those legs.
334
00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:45,976
You might want
to get some Drano.
335
00:14:46,984 --> 00:14:48,567
Hold on.
336
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,116
If you don't want
to live with Leonard,
337
00:14:50,141 --> 00:14:51,335
why don't you just tell him?
338
00:14:51,353 --> 00:14:54,234
Well, you know how he is.
He's sensitive and emotional.
339
00:14:54,258 --> 00:14:57,295
That's because he drinks
too much soy milk.
340
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:01,375
Well, I don't know what else we
can do but tell them the truth.
341
00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:02,884
I suppose there's no choice
342
00:15:02,915 --> 00:15:05,749
but to face the crying,
angry accusations
343
00:15:05,766 --> 00:15:08,065
and the high-pitched wails
of despair.
344
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:09,287
Yeah.
345
00:15:09,318 --> 00:15:11,870
And who knows
how Amy will react.
346
00:15:15,887 --> 00:15:17,588
Here's some more ice.
347
00:15:17,627 --> 00:15:18,870
Oh, thanks.
348
00:15:18,895 --> 00:15:20,778
What were we thinking?
349
00:15:20,813 --> 00:15:23,598
We should have just done it
the regular way.
350
00:15:24,332 --> 00:15:26,615
Those Chinese acrobats
in Cirque du Soleil
351
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:29,231
made it look so easy.
352
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:33,680
Honestly, if I could bend that far,
what would I need with you?
353
00:15:36,317 --> 00:15:39,483
If you could bend that far,
you'd be doing us both a favor.
354
00:15:42,773 --> 00:15:44,940
(phone ringing)
355
00:15:47,178 --> 00:15:48,709
Hey, Raj. What's up?
356
00:15:48,762 --> 00:15:49,722
You were right!
357
00:15:49,746 --> 00:15:51,784
I can't get out of here!
358
00:15:52,572 --> 00:15:54,416
You're still at my mother's?
359
00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:55,466
I'm trapped.
360
00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:57,269
My clothes have been
in the laundry all day,
361
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,905
and she hid my keys.
362
00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,388
I think they might be
in her bra,
363
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:02,710
because she jingles
when she walks.
364
00:16:03,642 --> 00:16:04,905
What do I do?
365
00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:06,413
Hey, you wanted a woman
in your life.
366
00:16:06,431 --> 00:16:08,257
Now you got one.
367
00:16:08,558 --> 00:16:10,531
Come on, Howard, help me.
368
00:16:10,608 --> 00:16:14,357
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Rajesh, tatellah,
I ran you a bath.
369
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:16,436
Oh, my God.
370
00:16:16,506 --> 00:16:19,466
She's not gonna bathe me,
is she?
371
00:16:22,252 --> 00:16:25,231
Gee, I wish I could tell you no.
372
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,408
All right, well,
thanks again for helping me out.
373
00:16:31,439 --> 00:16:33,389
But, Howard...
374
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:35,605
Should we go back
and rescue him?
375
00:16:35,635 --> 00:16:38,323
It's too late. We'll see him
at his Bar Mitzvah.
376
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:42,350
Here you go.
377
00:16:42,391 --> 00:16:45,442
I picked up the Chinese food
just the way Leonard used to.
378
00:16:45,707 --> 00:16:47,333
- Is it kung pao chicken?
- Yes.
379
00:16:47,372 --> 00:16:49,164
- Brown rice, not white rice?
- Yes.
380
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,846
Spicy mustard
from the Korean deli?
381
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,504
Yes. I did good, right?
382
00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:54,171
(sadly):
Yes.
383
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:57,729
Amy,
384
00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,338
are you worried
that us living together
385
00:17:00,382 --> 00:17:03,144
will take the mystery
out of our relationship?
386
00:17:03,307 --> 00:17:05,330
- No.
- Yeah, why would you?
387
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,135
Oh, and, uh, check this out.
388
00:17:08,166 --> 00:17:09,653
I took the liberty of scripting
389
00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:12,206
a new outgoing voice mail
message for both of us.
390
00:17:16,581 --> 00:17:18,267
"Hello. This is Sheldon."
391
00:17:18,292 --> 00:17:19,655
"And this is Amy."
392
00:17:19,716 --> 00:17:21,136
"We're not home right now."
393
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,050
"'Cause we out
dropping science, son."
394
00:17:29,911 --> 00:17:31,889
BOTH:
"Leave a message."
395
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:34,995
Beep.
396
00:17:35,026 --> 00:17:36,551
(laughs)
397
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,353
You can't live here.
398
00:17:41,386 --> 00:17:42,329
What?
399
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:43,237
Why?
400
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:44,575
Is it the message?
401
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:47,093
I only used urban slang
to sound tough
402
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:49,080
so people wouldn't break in.
- No.
403
00:17:49,473 --> 00:17:50,855
It's not the message.
404
00:17:50,886 --> 00:17:52,227
Well, what is it, then?
405
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,333
I did everything
just the way you like it.
406
00:17:54,358 --> 00:17:57,176
- You did.
- Then what the hell, Sheldon?!
407
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,548
We have been going out
for over two years,
408
00:18:01,573 --> 00:18:03,820
and I have been nothing
but patient with you!
409
00:18:03,852 --> 00:18:06,435
I watch your dopey
space movies.
410
00:18:06,528 --> 00:18:08,204
I signed your
ridiculous contract.
411
00:18:08,225 --> 00:18:10,037
I even stopped wearing lip gloss
'cause you said
412
00:18:10,062 --> 00:18:12,095
it made my mouth look
too slippery.
413
00:18:14,122 --> 00:18:16,870
I am the best girlfriend
you're ever gonna have.
414
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:19,891
You give me one good reason
why I can't live here.
415
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,358
It's Penny's fault.
416
00:18:23,474 --> 00:18:25,386
- What?
- She doesn't want to live with Leonard,
417
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,949
so he has to come
live here again.
418
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,864
She's the snake in our garden.
419
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,980
She's the reason
we can't be happy.
420
00:18:35,212 --> 00:18:36,337
- Hey, Ames.
- Yeah.
421
00:18:36,357 --> 00:18:37,375
"Hey, Ames," nothing.
422
00:18:37,393 --> 00:18:39,464
I was all set to move in
with Sheldon, and now I hear
423
00:18:39,488 --> 00:18:41,710
I can't 'cause you don't want
to live with Leonard.
424
00:18:41,775 --> 00:18:43,373
LEONARD:
What?
425
00:18:44,719 --> 00:18:48,032
- Sheldon, what did you say?
- I said the truth.
426
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,294
You don't want to live with
Leonard, and you know it.
427
00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:51,828
Since when don't you want
to live with me?
428
00:18:51,846 --> 00:18:52,753
Oh, don't get all huffy.
429
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:55,466
You're the one who decided to move in
without even asking me if I was ready.
430
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,364
Yeah, I think we should talk
about that.
431
00:18:58,786 --> 00:19:00,507
And since you love
the truth so much,
432
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:02,360
why don't you tell Amy you
don't want to live with her
433
00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:03,941
instead of blaming it on me?
434
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:06,205
I thought we were talking
about the other thing.
435
00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:08,607
You're a coward.
436
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:11,587
Well, the evidence
does support that.
437
00:19:13,938 --> 00:19:15,888
Come on, Amy,
let's go drink wine
438
00:19:15,909 --> 00:19:18,377
and talk about what jerks
our boyfriends are.
439
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,662
You know what would show them?
440
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,696
I should move in here with you.
441
00:19:25,974 --> 00:19:27,552
Um...
442
00:19:30,572 --> 00:19:31,660
(door closes)
443
00:19:37,558 --> 00:19:38,780
Do you want to...
444
00:19:38,835 --> 00:19:40,901
catch up on some Walking Dead?
445
00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:43,438
Okay.
446
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,062
Have you seen the one
where Lori dies?
447
00:19:52,005 --> 00:19:53,648
No.
448
00:19:55,198 --> 00:19:57,827
Or maybe she doesn't.
Let's find out.
449
00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:12,654
- MRS. WOLOWITZ: Where you going?
- No!
450
00:20:13,036 --> 00:20:18,036
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther