1
00:00:00,525 --> 00:00:03,513
I'm gonna get 12 eggs
and part of a dead animal.
2
00:00:03,546 --> 00:00:05,308
Dealer's choice.
Please and thank you.
3
00:00:05,332 --> 00:00:06,296
What can I get you, Ann?
4
00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:08,816
I will have oatmeal
and berries.
5
00:00:08,993 --> 00:00:12,069
And I will have catfish
and grits,
6
00:00:12,093 --> 00:00:13,193
with pumpernickel toast.
7
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,369
Explain.
8
00:00:14,394 --> 00:00:16,038
Well, instead
of getting swept up
9
00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:17,589
in my boyfriends'
personalities,
10
00:00:17,614 --> 00:00:19,978
I am dating myself
and trying new things.
11
00:00:19,991 --> 00:00:21,555
So every time I go out to eat,
12
00:00:21,587 --> 00:00:23,846
I order one thing
that's typical me
13
00:00:23,877 --> 00:00:25,953
and then something
that I would never order.
14
00:00:25,972 --> 00:00:27,806
Now I have two best friends,
Ann and Ann.
15
00:00:27,829 --> 00:00:29,362
Each one more beautiful
than the other.
16
00:00:29,381 --> 00:00:31,137
Oh, I also
have been documenting
17
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,697
all the new things I'm trying
on my blog.
18
00:00:33,708 --> 00:00:34,498
Check this out.
19
00:00:34,522 --> 00:00:35,922
I went skydiving.
20
00:00:35,955 --> 00:00:37,055
[Screaming on video]
21
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:39,655
Which Ann is screaming
like a maniac?
22
00:00:39,696 --> 00:00:41,863
Oatmeal Ann or catfish Ann?
23
00:00:41,914 --> 00:00:44,894
I'm not sure, because I instantly
blacked out from extreme terror.
24
00:00:44,927 --> 00:00:47,529
[Shrieks on video]
25
00:00:47,591 --> 00:00:50,593
[Triumphant music]
26
00:00:50,677 --> 00:00:55,010
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
27
00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:10,308
Hey, I have an idea
for your blog.
28
00:01:10,328 --> 00:01:11,796
I think you should
take yourself ice-skating.
29
00:01:11,816 --> 00:01:13,616
- That sounds fun.
- Yeah, we'll do a double date:
30
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,010
You and you, and me and Ben.
31
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,047
But I have to warn you,
I'm very good at ice-skating.
32
00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:18,002
I can do jumps.
33
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,350
You know what?
I probably shouldn't come.
34
00:01:19,375 --> 00:01:20,568
I'll embarrass the both of you.
35
00:01:20,593 --> 00:01:23,134
Actually, I know what
my next activity is gonna be.
36
00:01:23,177 --> 00:01:25,479
And it's a biggie.
37
00:01:25,761 --> 00:01:27,011
I want to be a mom.
38
00:01:27,279 --> 00:01:29,023
I'm going
to the sperm bank today.
39
00:01:29,091 --> 00:01:30,098
Can you come?
40
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,452
Wow, today?
41
00:01:31,553 --> 00:01:34,321
Ann, you know
that I fully support
42
00:01:34,352 --> 00:01:35,548
any woman's decision--
43
00:01:35,589 --> 00:01:38,532
especially a beautiful
unicorn-nurse like yourself--
44
00:01:38,583 --> 00:01:40,489
in creating the family
that she wants.
45
00:01:40,513 --> 00:01:43,374
But you are so brilliant
and kind and stupid hot.
46
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,637
I mean,
you're definitely gonna find
47
00:01:44,657 --> 00:01:46,613
a wonderful guy
who loves you and respects you
48
00:01:46,638 --> 00:01:49,591
and fills your home
with multi-ethnic genius babies.
49
00:01:49,627 --> 00:01:51,729
Maybe, or maybe not.
50
00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:54,504
You hit the lottery with Ben,
and that's great,
51
00:01:54,536 --> 00:01:56,348
but not everybody's so lucky.
52
00:01:56,372 --> 00:01:58,147
I've wanted to be a mom
for a long time,
53
00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:00,407
I'm ready, and I think
I'd be good at it.
54
00:02:00,548 --> 00:02:02,036
Ann is giving up on love
55
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:04,111
and deciding
to have a baby with herself.
56
00:02:04,245 --> 00:02:07,001
And she has only been
dating herself for six weeks.
57
00:02:07,192 --> 00:02:09,036
If she were dating a guy
for six weeks,
58
00:02:09,065 --> 00:02:10,708
and they decided to have a kid,
59
00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:12,882
I'd be like,
"Congratulations, Ann...
60
00:02:12,996 --> 00:02:14,471
And Channing Tatum."
61
00:02:14,517 --> 00:02:17,242
Because that is the only scenario
that would make sense to me.
62
00:02:17,525 --> 00:02:20,377
What a gorgeous
herbaceous medley.
63
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,875
There's been a mistake.
64
00:02:21,914 --> 00:02:24,863
You've accidentally given me
the food that my food eats.
65
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,099
Salad is traditionally
the first course at a wedding.
66
00:02:27,164 --> 00:02:29,531
Is a gerbil marrying a rabbit?
67
00:02:29,771 --> 00:02:31,439
I'm in charge of food
for the wedding.
68
00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:34,213
So I brought in
Pawnee's three best caterers
69
00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,926
and a panel of experts.
70
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:37,750
Chris loves vegetables.
71
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,483
Ron loves meat.
72
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:42,136
And Tom considers himself
a foodie,
73
00:02:42,168 --> 00:02:44,697
which apparently means
taking instagrams of food
74
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:45,873
instead of eating it.
75
00:02:45,918 --> 00:02:48,306
Okay, so I liked number one,
76
00:02:48,337 --> 00:02:49,785
Chris liked number two,
77
00:02:49,812 --> 00:02:52,456
and Ron liked number three.
78
00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:54,000
Tom, what about you?
79
00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:56,699
Caterer number one's
presentation was simple,
80
00:02:56,731 --> 00:02:58,132
mm, yet exhausting.
81
00:02:58,195 --> 00:03:01,528
Number two's was subtle
and provocative,
82
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,917
like a coy Dutch woman
guarding a dark secret.
83
00:03:03,936 --> 00:03:05,276
Nothing you're saying
is helpful.
84
00:03:05,307 --> 00:03:07,449
But number three's told
a story--
85
00:03:07,489 --> 00:03:09,924
a story from a book
I wouldn't read
86
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,261
but I would watch the movie of.
87
00:03:12,285 --> 00:03:13,736
[Sighs]
That's nonsense.
88
00:03:13,968 --> 00:03:14,974
You know what?
89
00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,153
I'm gonna go
with the first place.
90
00:03:16,181 --> 00:03:17,784
I really loved that appetizer.
91
00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:18,994
Oh, the mini-calzone?
92
00:03:19,025 --> 00:03:20,092
I wouldn't call it that.
93
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:22,016
It was more like
a savory pastry.
94
00:03:22,048 --> 00:03:23,958
Delicate little dough pocket
95
00:03:23,977 --> 00:03:27,112
filled with tomato sauce,
cheese, and seasoned meat.
96
00:03:27,139 --> 00:03:29,440
Just a stunning
culinary innovation.
97
00:03:29,503 --> 00:03:30,716
It was a calzone.
98
00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:33,147
It was literally
just a small calzone.
99
00:03:33,491 --> 00:03:35,368
Let me just get some details
for your file.
100
00:03:35,393 --> 00:03:36,899
Now, are you two a couple?
101
00:03:36,973 --> 00:03:39,673
No. Tragically,
we are both heterosexual.
102
00:03:39,806 --> 00:03:42,529
So, Ann, what are you
looking for in particular?
103
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,596
Some sperm.
104
00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:46,790
I meant in terms of a donor?
105
00:03:46,829 --> 00:03:50,578
Oh, you know, nice guy...
Nice sperm.
106
00:03:50,672 --> 00:03:53,317
Flip through this binder, make a note
of anyone who interests you,
107
00:03:53,343 --> 00:03:55,281
and I'll be back shortly.
108
00:03:55,499 --> 00:03:57,310
Oh!
This guy went to Harvard!
109
00:03:57,383 --> 00:03:58,599
So did the Unabomber.
110
00:03:58,635 --> 00:03:59,854
This guys seems healthy.
111
00:03:59,919 --> 00:04:00,802
Loves cycling.
112
00:04:00,821 --> 00:04:02,143
Yeah, so did Lance Armstrong,
113
00:04:02,170 --> 00:04:03,951
and he turned out
to be a lying drug user.
114
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:04,728
Or a hero.
115
00:04:04,759 --> 00:04:06,059
I don't know where we stand
on him now.
116
00:04:06,084 --> 00:04:07,397
Hello, ladies.
117
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:08,762
Fancy meeting you here.
118
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:10,927
Whoa, Sewage Joe.
119
00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:12,980
Wow. Ann, you remember
Joe Fantringham.
120
00:04:13,005 --> 00:04:14,582
He is the gentleman
who was fired
121
00:04:14,608 --> 00:04:16,072
for emailing
a picture of his penis
122
00:04:16,096 --> 00:04:17,547
to every woman in city hall.
123
00:04:17,611 --> 00:04:18,380
Guilty.
124
00:04:18,418 --> 00:04:19,655
Yeah, that's what
the judge said.
125
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,399
- Mmhmm.
- Joe, you are a donor here, huh?
126
00:04:22,422 --> 00:04:23,311
Did you hear that, Ann?
127
00:04:23,336 --> 00:04:25,359
Big time,
me and all my buddies.
128
00:04:25,418 --> 00:04:27,039
Free money, free porn.
129
00:04:27,129 --> 00:04:28,729
Best job I ever had.
130
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:29,911
Also...
131
00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:32,225
If you're looking
to buy some weed,
132
00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:34,501
I'm looking as well.
133
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:35,638
[Clicks mouth]
134
00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:37,127
- Shall we?
- Yup.
135
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,599
Okay, Leslie Knope outfit
number eight.
136
00:04:41,669 --> 00:04:43,965
Babe, you look super hot.
137
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,890
You realize you've said that
about all of them?
138
00:04:45,921 --> 00:04:47,489
Well, she has,
every single time.
139
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:48,793
'Cause she is super hot.
140
00:04:48,818 --> 00:04:51,266
Honestly, you'd look hot naked.
141
00:04:51,314 --> 00:04:55,140
Ugh. This suit makes me want
to scold a Catholic child.
142
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:56,792
I don't know who Ann Taylor is,
143
00:04:56,816 --> 00:04:58,316
but I hate her
and I want to kill her.
144
00:04:58,355 --> 00:05:01,255
I have to lead a public forum
for the Pawnee Commons
145
00:05:01,275 --> 00:05:02,706
every day this week,
146
00:05:02,724 --> 00:05:05,326
and I hate talking to people.
147
00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:08,274
So, to get through it, I figured
I'm just gonna basically try
148
00:05:08,297 --> 00:05:09,496
to imitate Leslie.
149
00:05:10,129 --> 00:05:11,731
She still wears this.
150
00:05:11,838 --> 00:05:13,594
She had the patch sewn in.
151
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:14,919
You can't remove it.
152
00:05:14,941 --> 00:05:16,841
What's in the pocket, you ask?
153
00:05:16,861 --> 00:05:20,456
A ticket stub from
a Fleetwood Mac concert in 1995,
154
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,012
and...
155
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,924
This one is terrible,
156
00:05:24,956 --> 00:05:27,623
but it is slightly less terrible
than the rest.
157
00:05:27,823 --> 00:05:30,204
So tomorrow,
I lead a public forum
158
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,540
in Leslie's Fleetwood Mac
sex pants.
159
00:05:32,571 --> 00:05:34,805
Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants.
New band name. I call it.
160
00:05:34,829 --> 00:05:36,164
[Snaps fingers]
Ooh, you know what?
161
00:05:36,197 --> 00:05:38,774
Maybe just Fleetwood Mac.
162
00:05:39,518 --> 00:05:40,852
So what's the next move?
163
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:43,514
Is there, like, a better sperm bank
in Eagleton or something?
164
00:05:43,537 --> 00:05:45,087
Um, you don't want
a demon baby.
165
00:05:45,126 --> 00:05:46,486
Look, you're Ann Perkins.
166
00:05:46,659 --> 00:05:48,326
Sperm that is worthy
of your perfect eggs
167
00:05:48,352 --> 00:05:49,685
does not grow on trees.
168
00:05:49,761 --> 00:05:51,318
I think, ideally,
169
00:05:51,349 --> 00:05:52,933
you'd want
to know the guy, right?
170
00:05:52,948 --> 00:05:54,415
You'd want
to know his personality,
171
00:05:54,435 --> 00:05:55,944
his favorite season of Friends,
172
00:05:55,975 --> 00:05:58,478
whether or not he hates jazz--
hopefully, he does.
173
00:05:58,495 --> 00:05:59,642
You'd want to know him.
174
00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:01,981
Yes, Leslie,
you're totally right.
175
00:06:02,019 --> 00:06:03,985
I'm gonna go home,
and I'm gonna make a list
176
00:06:04,027 --> 00:06:06,547
of all the guys I already know
who could be donors.
177
00:06:06,590 --> 00:06:08,002
And then, I'm gonna call them
178
00:06:08,027 --> 00:06:09,709
and tell them
I'm doing some blog entry
179
00:06:09,734 --> 00:06:10,984
on men's health or something.
180
00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:13,220
I can interview them
and ask them whatever I want.
181
00:06:13,244 --> 00:06:14,276
You're a genius!
182
00:06:14,299 --> 00:06:15,452
This is your idea,
and I love it.
183
00:06:15,472 --> 00:06:16,505
I'll call you later.
184
00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:17,897
No.
185
00:06:18,058 --> 00:06:19,800
If I don't slow
this baby train down,
186
00:06:19,836 --> 00:06:22,296
Ann may end up having a baby
with some random weirdo
187
00:06:22,314 --> 00:06:23,650
instead of her soul mate.
188
00:06:23,702 --> 00:06:24,768
I fully believe
189
00:06:24,794 --> 00:06:27,332
that a woman should be in charge
of what happens to her body.
190
00:06:27,358 --> 00:06:29,695
In this case,
the body is Ann's,
191
00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:32,071
and the woman
in charge of it is me.
192
00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:36,563
I was up all night brainstorming
and this is the complete official list
193
00:06:36,594 --> 00:06:38,473
of candidates
for Ann's baby daddy.
194
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:41,255
Wow, how did you come up
with these three names?
195
00:06:41,324 --> 00:06:43,459
Well, I eliminated everyone
in a relationship
196
00:06:43,482 --> 00:06:44,681
and the obvious "No" s,
197
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,776
like Knuckle-hair Dave
from HR.
198
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,954
I don't mind the knuckle hair.
199
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,505
- I just think he's a dick.
- Yeah.
200
00:06:49,537 --> 00:06:51,130
And I was left
with those three guys.
201
00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:53,547
Don't forget, they don't know
about the sperm donor thing.
202
00:06:53,575 --> 00:06:54,584
I don't want them to know.
203
00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,432
I told them I was
interviewing them for a blog.
204
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,658
Here comes the first one.
Dr. Harris!
205
00:06:57,676 --> 00:06:59,171
- H-hey, there he is.
- Hi.
206
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,747
Ann, Leslie.
207
00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:02,749
Small office.
Mine's way bigger.
208
00:07:02,765 --> 00:07:04,734
Is this gonna take long?
Got a patient coming in.
209
00:07:04,752 --> 00:07:06,626
No, not at all.
Please have a seat.
210
00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:08,806
Actually, maybe you should
check in on your patient.
211
00:07:08,831 --> 00:07:10,865
I know that I hate it
when my doctor makes me wait.
212
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,524
[Scoffs]
Guy's got a spinal fracture.
213
00:07:12,549 --> 00:07:13,582
He's not going anywhere.
214
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:14,874
- Uh-huh.
- Ooh.
215
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,759
The seats in my office
are leather.
216
00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:18,285
Okay.
217
00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:23,394
Chris?
218
00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:25,372
I'm dying.
219
00:07:25,397 --> 00:07:27,453
[Straining]
I was dying earlier today.
220
00:07:27,730 --> 00:07:29,364
And then I died.
221
00:07:29,953 --> 00:07:30,972
Now I'm dead.
222
00:07:31,014 --> 00:07:32,520
I had to cancel a date
223
00:07:32,557 --> 00:07:34,258
with Shauna Malwae-Tweep.
224
00:07:34,281 --> 00:07:35,818
And I really like her.
225
00:07:36,051 --> 00:07:38,053
Do you think
she'll still like me
226
00:07:38,089 --> 00:07:39,121
now that I'm dead?
227
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,528
What is this?
228
00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:44,056
It's food poisoning.
I have it too.
229
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:46,526
I did not sleep
for one second last night.
230
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,779
And I cracked the bottom
of the toilet bowl.
231
00:07:48,808 --> 00:07:50,324
Oh, God, don't say that.
232
00:07:50,343 --> 00:07:52,010
Has anybody talked to Tom?
233
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,296
I can't even imagine
234
00:07:53,327 --> 00:07:55,334
what that tiny little man
must be feeling like.
235
00:07:55,353 --> 00:07:57,373
I have voided more
than Tom's body weight
236
00:07:57,398 --> 00:07:59,445
in the last 12 hours alone.
237
00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:01,199
He might have just disappeared
off the earth.
238
00:08:01,218 --> 00:08:04,178
We need to call him.
We must reach out to him.
239
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:10,201
I can't do it.
240
00:08:10,336 --> 00:08:12,682
[Grunts fiercely]
241
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,805
[Sighing heavily]
242
00:08:18,836 --> 00:08:19,736
[Dial tone droning]
243
00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:21,171
Ben,
244
00:08:21,571 --> 00:08:23,764
extension 7820.
245
00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:32,892
[Phone keys beeping]
246
00:08:32,989 --> 00:08:34,956
[Whimpers]
247
00:08:35,457 --> 00:08:36,539
Hello, everyone.
248
00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:39,109
I'm April Ludgate
from the Parks Department.
249
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:43,595
And welcome to a public forum
about the Pawnee Commons.
250
00:08:43,677 --> 00:08:46,176
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said
251
00:08:46,218 --> 00:08:48,723
to Betty Ford...
252
00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:51,122
"Hillary Clinton is great."
253
00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:55,026
Now, if you all would
kindly look under your chairs,
254
00:08:55,048 --> 00:08:57,049
you will find
a special surprise--
255
00:08:57,081 --> 00:08:59,550
a flyer with details
about the project,
256
00:08:59,576 --> 00:09:01,893
and... Friendship bands
257
00:09:01,943 --> 00:09:04,373
that I've made
for each and every one of you.
258
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,700
So now,
I guess we're Park Pals.
259
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,698
You should see the booger
under this chair.
260
00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:11,036
Andy.
261
00:09:11,391 --> 00:09:12,779
It's nice
to see you again, Ann.
262
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:14,079
I was happy to get the call.
263
00:09:14,102 --> 00:09:16,123
- Yeah, Pete, you look great.
- Aww.
264
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:19,056
So are you still
dunking basketballs?
265
00:09:19,194 --> 00:09:20,515
You know, I'm a lot more
266
00:09:20,534 --> 00:09:22,973
than just a former
high school basketball star.
267
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,627
I teach marketing over
at Pawnee Community College.
268
00:09:25,689 --> 00:09:27,672
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
269
00:09:27,824 --> 00:09:30,671
Would you say
you value education?
270
00:09:31,965 --> 00:09:33,759
I see what's going on here.
271
00:09:34,358 --> 00:09:35,681
You want my sperm.
272
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,084
What?
What are you talking about?
273
00:09:38,112 --> 00:09:41,363
When will women in this town
stop scheming to get my sperm?
274
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:43,422
Wow.
275
00:09:43,612 --> 00:09:45,847
That son of a bitch is astute.
276
00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:48,632
Okay, all I need to do is just
shoot one more person down
277
00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:49,991
and then I can buy some time
278
00:09:50,017 --> 00:09:53,614
and convince Ann to wait
for her own Ben-level soul mate.
279
00:09:54,046 --> 00:09:56,781
The last guy
is Howard Tuttleman.
280
00:09:57,238 --> 00:09:58,226
I know that name.
281
00:09:58,263 --> 00:09:59,316
How do I know that name?
282
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:00,874
I know it's a winter's morn,
283
00:10:00,899 --> 00:10:02,900
but it feels
like a summer's eve,
284
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,672
'cause "the Douche"
is in the building.
285
00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,573
What's up, ladies?
286
00:10:08,462 --> 00:10:10,543
[Scatting]
287
00:10:10,574 --> 00:10:12,174
Oh, whoa!
288
00:10:12,248 --> 00:10:14,042
Smells like some vomit
took a dump in here.
289
00:10:14,054 --> 00:10:14,911
What happened?
290
00:10:14,936 --> 00:10:16,861
We got food poisoning, Tom.
291
00:10:16,914 --> 00:10:19,727
- Yuck.
- How do you not have food poisoning?
292
00:10:19,874 --> 00:10:21,459
Because he didn't eat anything.
293
00:10:21,477 --> 00:10:23,025
He just took pictures
294
00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:25,027
and talked
about the "wow" factor.
295
00:10:25,051 --> 00:10:26,611
Not true.
I ate everything you did.
296
00:10:26,635 --> 00:10:27,649
Are you sure?
297
00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:29,513
Is there anything
that you didn't eat?
298
00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:30,485
Oh, yeah.
299
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,237
I didn't eat
those stupid mini-calzones.
300
00:10:32,276 --> 00:10:34,165
Haver-food rule number six--
301
00:10:34,183 --> 00:10:36,791
never eat anything with
a sauce I have to dip myself.
302
00:10:36,872 --> 00:10:38,098
Drizzle it on for me.
303
00:10:38,135 --> 00:10:39,548
I'm not your maid.
304
00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:42,775
The calzones... betrayed me?
305
00:10:42,844 --> 00:10:44,378
Never again, guys.
306
00:10:44,441 --> 00:10:46,346
As God as my witness,
307
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,462
they're dead to me.
308
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:49,540
All right, well,
Tommy feels great.
309
00:10:49,564 --> 00:10:51,515
And I'm about
to go eat some lasagna.
310
00:10:51,761 --> 00:10:52,927
Peace!
311
00:10:53,602 --> 00:10:55,072
[Stifles vomit]
312
00:10:55,348 --> 00:10:57,380
I'm afraid this park
will raise my taxes.
313
00:10:57,405 --> 00:10:59,418
Ah, well, fear not.
314
00:10:59,495 --> 00:11:02,004
Between the normal Parks budget
and our corporate partners--
315
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:04,140
- I'm also afraid
the park will be noisy.
316
00:11:04,178 --> 00:11:05,646
And full of spiders.
317
00:11:05,807 --> 00:11:07,207
And dark at nighttime.
318
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:09,371
[Voice breaks]
I'm scared of a lot of stuff.
319
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,866
Everything's fine.
320
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,254
I'm fine.
I'm Walter, and I'm fine.
321
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,479
Is this gonna be
a topless park?
322
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,624
I don't think there are
topless parks.
323
00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:19,643
Well, let's build the first one
324
00:11:19,687 --> 00:11:21,082
and be heroes.
325
00:11:21,119 --> 00:11:22,905
If this is going to be
a topless park,
326
00:11:22,926 --> 00:11:24,555
I won't sign your petition.
327
00:11:24,579 --> 00:11:26,443
If she's going
to the topless park,
328
00:11:26,514 --> 00:11:29,366
I'm not signing
the topless park petition.
329
00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:32,174
You know, I take that back,
I'm still in.
330
00:11:32,203 --> 00:11:33,655
What's up?
I'm Harris.
331
00:11:33,686 --> 00:11:36,644
Yeah, yeah. Forget whatever
that Pawnee Commons is.
332
00:11:36,688 --> 00:11:37,862
I'm with that pervert.
333
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:40,334
Topless park.
Topless park!
334
00:11:40,377 --> 00:11:43,179
- Topless park!
- Both: Topless park!
335
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,806
Where'd you go to school again?
336
00:11:44,826 --> 00:11:46,831
Northwestern.
I studied semiotics.
337
00:11:46,862 --> 00:11:49,401
Wrote a thesis on narrative
forms in the digital world.
338
00:11:49,426 --> 00:11:51,246
Then you became
a morning shock-jock
339
00:11:51,276 --> 00:11:53,802
and created
the sport "taint ball"?
340
00:11:54,711 --> 00:11:56,345
Yeah. You know,
the Douche persona
341
00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:58,323
is something I came up with
during college.
342
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,745
It started as satire,
343
00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:01,800
and, you know, we snowballed
to where we are today.
344
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,240
I mean, I know it's a silly thing
to do, but it pays the bills.
345
00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:06,260
Well, I think, you probably
need to get back to the studio,
346
00:12:06,285 --> 00:12:08,785
play some fart jokes,
make fun of some immigrants.
347
00:12:08,838 --> 00:12:12,032
Actually, a farting immigrant
segment would be really funny.
348
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:13,910
Ay dios...
[Blows raspberry]
349
00:12:13,923 --> 00:12:14,736
[Laughs]
350
00:12:14,761 --> 00:12:15,892
Good looking out, Leslie.
351
00:12:16,180 --> 00:12:17,814
You guys ever want
to do this again,
352
00:12:17,835 --> 00:12:19,958
sans clothing, give me a shout.
353
00:12:19,964 --> 00:12:21,777
- Gross.
- That was the Douche talking.
354
00:12:21,816 --> 00:12:23,360
Honestly, good luck
on this project.
355
00:12:23,372 --> 00:12:24,540
It sounds really interesting.
356
00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,651
I'm gonna scan a quick pic
of them boobies
357
00:12:26,674 --> 00:12:29,791
for a little deposit
in "El banco de spanko."
358
00:12:29,819 --> 00:12:31,353
That was the Douche talking.
359
00:12:31,373 --> 00:12:32,750
Douche nation.
360
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,753
You guys know
where the library is?
361
00:12:34,816 --> 00:12:36,778
Wow.
Okay, that's not gonna work.
362
00:12:36,786 --> 00:12:37,882
Back to the drawing board.
363
00:12:37,906 --> 00:12:39,782
No need.
I choose Howard.
364
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,373
You want to have a baby
with the Douche?
365
00:12:41,404 --> 00:12:43,491
His name's Howard Tuttleman,
Leslie.
366
00:12:43,516 --> 00:12:45,874
And I know he plays
that obnoxious character
367
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,635
on the radio,
but he's a good guy,
368
00:12:47,653 --> 00:12:48,955
his family is healthy,
369
00:12:48,974 --> 00:12:50,622
and he is successful and smart.
370
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:52,474
Ann, you cannot be serious.
371
00:12:52,499 --> 00:12:54,566
I am.
And I've made my decision.
372
00:12:54,603 --> 00:12:57,305
- I am sure of it.
[Sighs] Okay.
373
00:12:57,661 --> 00:12:59,862
Douche!
Hey, Douche!
374
00:13:00,495 --> 00:13:01,483
Councilman Howser.
375
00:13:01,508 --> 00:13:02,906
Councilwoman Knope.
376
00:13:03,593 --> 00:13:04,481
'Sup, Leslie?
377
00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,986
You wanna funk this junk
in the back of my trunk?
378
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,684
[Laughs]
That was the Douche talking.
379
00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:11,559
Okay, look, Ann is not
interviewing you for her blog.
380
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,547
She's thinking
about having a baby,
381
00:13:13,576 --> 00:13:16,678
and she's considering you
as a possible donor.
382
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:17,917
Wow.
383
00:13:17,955 --> 00:13:18,655
[Sighs]
384
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,413
You know, I've thought a lot
about having kids.
385
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:22,643
It's the next big step
386
00:13:22,674 --> 00:13:24,834
in this grand adventure
that we call life.
387
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,374
Frankly, I don't think you would
be the right man for the job.
388
00:13:27,399 --> 00:13:28,360
Well, frankly,
389
00:13:28,399 --> 00:13:30,067
I don't think
it's for you to decide.
390
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,297
You know, if we had
a little girl,
391
00:13:31,321 --> 00:13:33,167
I would name her Elizabeth,
after my grandmother.
392
00:13:33,191 --> 00:13:36,122
She was this strong,
amazing woman.
393
00:13:36,151 --> 00:13:37,557
And if we had a boy,
394
00:13:37,594 --> 00:13:39,079
I don't know,
I'd name him something funny,
395
00:13:39,104 --> 00:13:41,293
like "Dick" or "O. J."
396
00:13:41,328 --> 00:13:42,393
[Laughs]
397
00:13:42,444 --> 00:13:44,012
Guess I have a lot to consider.
398
00:13:44,044 --> 00:13:45,262
My God.
399
00:13:45,381 --> 00:13:48,416
I have driven Ann right
into the belly of the Douche.
400
00:13:50,132 --> 00:13:51,631
- Hey, what's up?
- Oh, nothing.
401
00:13:51,668 --> 00:13:53,618
I was listening to the
radio on my way here,
402
00:13:53,642 --> 00:13:55,223
and I heard something
very interesting.
403
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:56,914
[Over speaker]
So, Crazy Ira,
404
00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:58,576
remember that chick Ann
I used to...
405
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,401
[Female moaning excitedly]
406
00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:02,349
Yeah, she was smoking hot!
407
00:14:02,394 --> 00:14:03,795
[Flatulence]
408
00:14:03,839 --> 00:14:07,873
Turns out, she wants
to have my baby.
409
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,538
[Female moaning, baby crying]
410
00:14:09,578 --> 00:14:11,172
Anyway, her lesbo friend
tells me
411
00:14:11,205 --> 00:14:13,333
she's on the prowl
for some baby beans...
412
00:14:13,381 --> 00:14:14,167
[Liquid squirts]
413
00:14:14,198 --> 00:14:17,081
And it's down to me
and some other turd-munchers.
414
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,011
[Flatulence]
415
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:21,208
Wow.
You should be angry.
416
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,952
I can't believe
Howard did that to you.
417
00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:25,859
I can't believe
you did that to me.
418
00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:28,563
I am making
a very important life decision,
419
00:14:28,596 --> 00:14:29,757
and you betrayed me.
420
00:14:29,787 --> 00:14:31,570
Because I thought
you were making a huge mistake.
421
00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:32,582
Look, I get it.
422
00:14:32,607 --> 00:14:33,995
I know you're frustrated
with dating,
423
00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:35,391
and you think you're
not gonna meet someone,
424
00:14:35,422 --> 00:14:37,039
but two years ago,
I didn't think
425
00:14:37,058 --> 00:14:38,742
I would meet someone like Ben,
and I did.
426
00:14:38,773 --> 00:14:42,536
My idea of a perfect family
does not require a soul mate.
427
00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:45,462
I want a baby, that's it,
accept it.
428
00:14:45,488 --> 00:14:47,021
[Knock at door]
429
00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:48,609
Councilman Milton,
do we have a meeting?
430
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:49,722
Oh, no, no, no.
431
00:14:49,753 --> 00:14:52,506
I just wanted to toss
my name into the ring,
432
00:14:52,551 --> 00:14:56,157
in respect
to this Indian woman's vagina.
433
00:14:58,756 --> 00:15:00,412
Hey, how was the forum?
434
00:15:00,479 --> 00:15:02,074
Um, crappy.
435
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:04,128
We only got four signatures.
436
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:05,597
Two of them were me and Andy,
437
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:07,968
and one of them
said "Farts McCool."
438
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,166
I just don't know how Leslie
can be Leslie all the time.
439
00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:14,196
I was her for two hours
and I want to die.
440
00:15:15,561 --> 00:15:17,866
Well, you know what?
We've got another forum today.
441
00:15:17,965 --> 00:15:20,066
Let's just hop back
in that saddle.
442
00:15:20,104 --> 00:15:21,706
What should I do?
Should I wear a blonde wig?
443
00:15:21,724 --> 00:15:22,878
Oh, my God, yes.
444
00:15:22,895 --> 00:15:25,094
- That would be so hot.
- Andy.
445
00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,922
If you think--if you--
do you think it would help?
446
00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:28,869
I mean, if you think
it'd help you.
447
00:15:29,318 --> 00:15:30,485
[Sighs]
448
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:32,180
Well, I'm feeling
so much better.
449
00:15:32,261 --> 00:15:34,946
Almost no weird stuff snuck out
of my body last night.
450
00:15:34,971 --> 00:15:36,872
And I feel like the emptiness
of my stomach
451
00:15:36,907 --> 00:15:38,723
is gonna lead
to a pretty epic breakfast.
452
00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:39,938
Guys, what do I do?
453
00:15:39,954 --> 00:15:41,628
My choice almost killed us,
454
00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:43,987
and we can't agree
on another one, so--
455
00:15:44,091 --> 00:15:47,404
Maybe there's a catering company
in Snerling that we should look into.
456
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,489
No, it has to be from Pawnee.
457
00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:50,982
I just know
that's what Leslie wants.
458
00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:51,708
I got it.
459
00:15:51,727 --> 00:15:53,061
This might sound crazy,
460
00:15:53,093 --> 00:15:56,228
but Jean-Ralphio has started
a catering company.
461
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:56,917
He has?
462
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,744
Now, granted, he is currently
463
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:00,307
standing trial
for counterfeiting Euros,
464
00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:02,289
but the trial's
gonna be over quick.
465
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:03,431
He's definitely guilty.
466
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,700
Ugh, forget it.
467
00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:08,135
Dry toast
and half a grapefruit for Chris.
468
00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:08,918
Thank you.
469
00:16:08,943 --> 00:16:10,837
- Egg whites for Ben.
- Thank you.
470
00:16:10,849 --> 00:16:12,649
Egg whites for Tom,
471
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:16,138
and pretty much
everything we make for Ron.
472
00:16:16,196 --> 00:16:17,709
And don't you go sneaking off.
473
00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:20,281
I'm sending home
some free waffles for Leslie.
474
00:16:20,322 --> 00:16:22,755
Thanks, JJ.
You're the best.
475
00:16:24,937 --> 00:16:26,225
Okay, we're back.
476
00:16:26,259 --> 00:16:29,261
We, uh, got an update
on "Operation...
477
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:30,950
[Baby voice]
Baby Douche."
478
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,006
[Laughs]
479
00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:35,067
All right, special guest
is Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
480
00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:37,425
How are you, Les?
[Female voice] "Me so horny."
481
00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:38,470
That was not me.
482
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:39,992
That was
a farcical sound effect.
483
00:16:40,023 --> 00:16:41,381
Did she say "fartsicle"?
484
00:16:41,414 --> 00:16:42,815
[Both laugh]
485
00:16:42,854 --> 00:16:45,542
The fartsicle.
Frozen farts you can eat.
486
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,423
Put it in your face-mouth!
[Flatulence]
487
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,443
[Child's voice]
It's cold and it smells.
488
00:16:50,488 --> 00:16:52,351
God, how did you make that
so fast?
489
00:16:52,364 --> 00:16:54,158
Anyway, look, I am here
490
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,831
because I want you to stop talking
about my friend's womb.
491
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,467
Sorry, Councilwoman.
I'm in it to win it.
492
00:16:58,504 --> 00:17:00,378
The Douche is gonna be a daddy.
493
00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:03,611
And Crazy Ira's gonna be
the creepy uncle.
494
00:17:03,641 --> 00:17:04,983
Okay, all right.
495
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:08,014
Look, she is a wonderful person,
and she does not deserve this.
496
00:17:08,045 --> 00:17:09,144
So I need you to lay off.
497
00:17:09,163 --> 00:17:10,620
Okay, I will lay off
498
00:17:10,642 --> 00:17:14,790
if you can survive one round
with Breasty Bertha in...
499
00:17:14,874 --> 00:17:17,314
Both: The Jell-o Pit!
500
00:17:17,348 --> 00:17:19,964
(Bill Cosby's Voice:)
Rudy! Get in the Jell-o.
501
00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,852
Okay, I am a city councilwoman,
502
00:17:21,889 --> 00:17:23,191
so I am not gonna
Jell-o wrestle.
503
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:24,169
I mean, this is fun.
504
00:17:24,194 --> 00:17:25,513
Don't you want
your constituents to know
505
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:26,676
that you got a fun side?
506
00:17:26,704 --> 00:17:28,317
Yeah, show your fun sides.
507
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:29,929
This is not about me
and my constituents!
508
00:17:29,954 --> 00:17:31,824
This is about you talking
about my friend.
509
00:17:31,861 --> 00:17:33,910
All right, I will stop talking
about your friend
510
00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:35,896
if you get in that Jell-o
for one second
511
00:17:35,935 --> 00:17:37,235
- and say, "Rudy."
(Cosby's voice:) Rudy.
512
00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:39,024
- 'Cause The Cosby Show.
- Classic.
513
00:17:39,049 --> 00:17:40,461
[Bass voice]
Classic.
514
00:17:40,555 --> 00:17:42,021
Fine, I will stand there
for one second
515
00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:43,061
and say it,
and then we're done.
516
00:17:43,086 --> 00:17:44,534
- Fair's fair.
- Fair's fair.
517
00:17:44,578 --> 00:17:46,690
(Cosby's voice:) Somebody get me
a pudding pop.
518
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:47,930
Both: Oh!
519
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,844
[Laughter]
Yeah!
520
00:17:51,085 --> 00:17:51,918
Rudy.
521
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:53,137
There, happy?
522
00:17:53,164 --> 00:17:55,708
No, say it like Bill Cosby.
523
00:17:56,863 --> 00:17:58,463
[As Bill Cosby]
Rudy.
524
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,425
- I don't know.
Both: Yeah!
525
00:18:00,472 --> 00:18:02,251
Oh, she's touching
her boobs now.
526
00:18:02,276 --> 00:18:04,293
No, I'm not.
I'm just standing here.
527
00:18:04,331 --> 00:18:06,700
And I am leaving, just like
you're gonna leave Ann alone.
528
00:18:06,733 --> 00:18:08,146
[Grunts]
529
00:18:08,184 --> 00:18:09,496
- [Laughs]
- Oh, she's in there!
530
00:18:09,534 --> 00:18:10,702
She's into it now!
531
00:18:10,728 --> 00:18:12,553
Cosby: Oh, Rudy has fallen
into the Jell-o.
532
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:13,297
[Laughter]
533
00:18:13,322 --> 00:18:15,454
Theo, now there's Jell-o
534
00:18:15,472 --> 00:18:17,485
all over my favorite sweater.
535
00:18:17,509 --> 00:18:21,047
[Imitating sports announcer]
And the gold medal goes to Leslie Knope!
536
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,989
Okay, can you give me that bag?
537
00:18:23,026 --> 00:18:24,801
I have to go change
into my Leslie suit.
538
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:26,761
You got it, babe.
539
00:18:26,812 --> 00:18:27,979
Thanks.
540
00:18:29,724 --> 00:18:30,712
[Whispering] Andy!
541
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:32,471
- What?
- This is the wrong bag.
542
00:18:32,491 --> 00:18:33,266
What?
543
00:18:33,303 --> 00:18:34,620
This bag is full
of Fruit Roll-Ups
544
00:18:34,651 --> 00:18:35,908
and baseball cards.
545
00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:37,380
I don't have my Leslie pantsuit
546
00:18:37,399 --> 00:18:39,602
or my Leslie headband
or my Leslie notes.
547
00:18:39,697 --> 00:18:41,356
I can't do this meeting
without my Leslie stuff.
548
00:18:41,369 --> 00:18:43,303
- Honey, I am so sorry.
- Andy!
549
00:18:43,343 --> 00:18:44,444
I guess I must have screwed up.
550
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:46,303
Look, you look amazing
in this outfit.
551
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,467
Plus you're the smartest person
on the planet.
552
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,417
I think you can do this
just being yourself.
553
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,507
[Groans]
554
00:18:54,477 --> 00:18:55,845
Yeah, so how much money
555
00:18:55,865 --> 00:18:58,811
is this whole Pawnee Commons
project gonna cost me?
556
00:18:58,895 --> 00:19:00,196
Uh, good question.
557
00:19:00,217 --> 00:19:03,351
40% will be coming
from our corporate partners,
558
00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:05,311
- and another 30%--
- Excuse me, ma'am.
559
00:19:05,336 --> 00:19:07,004
I didn't ask for a math lesson.
560
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,407
So why don't you just tell me
how much it's gonna cost me?
561
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,356
And don't use numbers.
562
00:19:12,482 --> 00:19:15,084
Look, you won't have
to pay any extra money, okay?
563
00:19:15,097 --> 00:19:16,764
And don't ever
call me "ma'am" again.
564
00:19:16,808 --> 00:19:18,505
Thanks.
Next question.
565
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:21,402
Yeah, I wanted to talk more
about that topless park idea
566
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,589
that a local hero
brought up yesterday.
567
00:19:23,615 --> 00:19:25,431
Yeah, there's not gonna be
a topless park, Harris.
568
00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,280
Nobody wants
your creepy stoner eyes
569
00:19:27,308 --> 00:19:29,042
staring at them while
they're enjoying a park, okay?
570
00:19:29,061 --> 00:19:30,675
Stop being gross.
571
00:19:32,106 --> 00:19:33,440
[Applause]
Yeah.
572
00:19:33,478 --> 00:19:34,717
Shut me down!
573
00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:35,876
You scare me,
574
00:19:35,888 --> 00:19:38,403
and I gotta say,
I kinda dig that.
575
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:40,087
What's your deal?
576
00:19:40,820 --> 00:19:42,526
She's married to me.
577
00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:44,651
I heard you on the radio.
578
00:19:44,688 --> 00:19:46,664
- Thanks for doing that.
- Got dicey.
579
00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:48,553
But they did invite me
to participate
580
00:19:48,595 --> 00:19:50,411
in their
topless Jell-o-lympics...
581
00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:52,402
- Oh.
- So that's something.
582
00:19:52,532 --> 00:19:55,978
It is possible
that you were right.
583
00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:58,726
This is obviously
a huge decision,
584
00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:01,048
and I should take my time.
585
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:02,557
I want you
to be happy, you know?
586
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:05,322
I-I guess I just didn't consider that you
would take a different path than I did.
587
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,728
I tried
to impose my dream on you,
588
00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:08,999
and that's wrong.
589
00:20:09,053 --> 00:20:10,067
And I'm sorry.
590
00:20:10,098 --> 00:20:12,667
But I think you do need to take a little
bit more time with this decision.
591
00:20:12,686 --> 00:20:15,208
Maybe employ
a more methodical approach.
592
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:18,616
One that involves
color-coded binders.
593
00:20:19,534 --> 00:20:20,829
Is that a drawing
594
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:23,358
of my reproductive system
saying "Let's do this"?
595
00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:26,218
The Knope way involves
a lot of uterine cartoons.
596
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,397
What can I tell you?
597
00:20:27,422 --> 00:20:29,144
Besides,
what is more cuter-us
598
00:20:29,168 --> 00:20:30,569
than your uterus?
599
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:32,771
- You ready, Ann?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
600
00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:34,345
- We're in it now.
- Yes, we are.
601
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,006
Let's make a baby together.
602
00:20:36,176 --> 00:20:37,409
You should phrase that
differently.
603
00:20:37,429 --> 00:20:38,462
Right.
604
00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:40,988
Are you sure you're cool
with JJ's Diner
605
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:42,587
catering what
you've referred to
606
00:20:42,619 --> 00:20:44,441
as "The Wedding
of the Millennium"?
607
00:20:44,475 --> 00:20:45,845
Are you kidding me?
608
00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:48,641
I thought that I could not love
you any more than I already did.
609
00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:50,103
But I was dead wrong.
610
00:20:51,929 --> 00:20:54,536
- Is that smoke?
- Hmm?
611
00:20:55,474 --> 00:20:58,521
- Hey! What are you doing?
- Celebrating.
612
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:01,319
We got 80 signatures
and, like, 30 complaints
613
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:02,857
of excessive rudeness,
but who cares?
614
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:04,492
Yeah, you should have
seen her, Leslie.
615
00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:07,358
She was awesome.
So smart, so hot, so mean.
616
00:21:07,377 --> 00:21:09,911
I wanted to bone her right there
in that dirty church basement.
617
00:21:09,944 --> 00:21:11,493
No, what are you doing?
618
00:21:11,511 --> 00:21:14,720
Uh, we are burning
this awful pantsuit.
619
00:21:14,737 --> 00:21:15,983
That's mine.
620
00:21:16,036 --> 00:21:17,369
I wanted that back.
621
00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,755
Well, frankly,
you should have thought of that
622
00:21:19,790 --> 00:21:21,458
before we burned it.
623
00:21:21,908 --> 00:21:26,908
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther