1
00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:11,148
<i>Previously on Californication:</i>

2
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:13,120
I have a wonderful idea.

3
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:17,523
I give you one of daddy's long,
slow tongue baths.

4
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,527
Hey, I want you to meet Gabriel.

5
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,630
You were getting sucked off
by your sponsor.

6
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,895
The penis is not only
a disgusting appendage...

7
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,061
it is also a deadly weapon.

8
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,605
What the fuck do you think
you're doing?

9
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,039
He was my best friend,
a childhood mate.

10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,813
I'm sorry I was such a bitch.

11
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,381
God, I'm so sorry
I fucked your husband.

12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,713
Do you know that fucker?

13
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,321
This fucker is supposed
to be in rehab right now.

14
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:47,754
- Did you sign Robbie Mac?
- Yeah, I wasn't sure if it was gonna stick.

15
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:50,292
Well, it stuck all right.
It's on Deadline.

16
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,952
He's no 'mo.

17
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,238
No, he's pretending.
He wanted to sign the Mac Attack.

18
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,597
There's a party in your mouth tonight,
and I'm coming.

19
00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,729
I can't!

20
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:06,101
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about you
in general. You know, you did fire me.

21
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,405
- Should we assume the deal is off?
- Fuck you.

22
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,104
I'm going off to write something.

23
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,310
- You'll write something?
- I don't know what it is.

24
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:15,074
- Really? Interesting.
- Prepare to be John Woo'd.

25
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,613
Hey, woman. Where you going?

26
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,340
I have a meeting.

27
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,315
You want to grab some coffee?

28
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,978
- Well, I have a meeting.
- Well, can't you be late?

29
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,584
- I have a meeting.
- I don't understand.

30
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,194
Okay, so some people,
they have to work for a living.

31
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:34,625
- When I works, I works hard.
- Well, get to it, then.

32
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:37,063
Well, I need a muse, you know.
Where you going?

33
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,567
I can drive you,
and we can talk on the way.

34
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:43,037
Atticus Fetch's house.
I think you've been there.

35
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:46,109
- I have. It's all a bit blurry, though.
- I can imagine.

36
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,973
Hey, Why'd you blow him off?

37
00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:51,138
Because I didn't want to write a fucking
Broadway musical, Karen.

38
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:55,252
The guy seems like a nutter,
and I think he might threaten my sobriety.

39
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,945
Says the guy with whiskey on his breath.

40
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:01,558
That was a creative lubricant,
and it's not working so well.

41
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,058
No, so don't do... I got to go.

42
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:06,788
So you're refusing to be my muse?
Oh, sweetie.

43
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:10,298
I'm gonna remember this when you
need something from me, all right?

44
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,801
- When I need something from you? Yeah.
- Should that day arrive.

45
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:16,703
I don't like you working.

46
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:21,033
You're kind of curt and brusque and,
you know, you're always on the go.

47
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,826
Ken. Jesus.

48
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:22,371
I didn't even see you there.
You scared the shit out of me.

49
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:26,135
Sorry, Charlie. Didn't want to scare you,
never want to scare you.

50
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,279
I appreciate that.

51
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,005
- What's going on this morning?
- Not too much.

52
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:34,583
Just another day of living the dream.

53
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:38,050
- How was the party last night?
- Well...

54
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,421
Guys in black leather...

55
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:45,852
smell of moist ass hair,
what's not to like?

56
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:52,867
Ken, I think I feel your penis
in the small of my back.

57
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,905
Think of it as a loaded gun
pointed at your head.

58
00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:58,738
Do I have to?

59
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:02,206
Are you gay, Charlie?

60
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:06,678
No. No, I'm not.

61
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,716
And I'm sorry I lied, Ken.

62
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,116
But I'm a good agent.

63
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:12,950
Get up.

64
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:22,966
You're a mid-level hack, Runkle.
Check Deadline.

65
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,577
I don't care that you lied.

66
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,715
I don't care that you're not gay.

67
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:42,842
I wouldn't fuck you if I was dying
and your batch was a magic potion.

68
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:47,924
I care that you lost this agency
a major piece of business.

69
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,638
How'd it go, buddy boy?

70
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,070
I'm sitting in the dark
in my underwear, Hank.

71
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,012
And I'm day drinking.

72
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,174
Got it.

73
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:18,322
What's next for us, buddy boy?

74
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,723
What are your thoughts...

75
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,885
on a good old-fashioned
murder-suicide pact?

76
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,692
No, not yet.
Let's save that shit for a rainier day.

77
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:31,199
Like it's not pouring right now?

78
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,496
I'm a fucking failure, Hank.

79
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:36,538
I'm unemployed, divorced.

80
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,404
- I'm a shitty father.
- No, you're not.

81
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,102
Really, Hank?
You think I'm a good father?

82
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Not especially, but you're not shitty.

83
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:47,217
You are sometimes,
but we're all shitty sometimes.

84
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:49,284
"Cat's in the Cradle" and whatnot.

85
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:52,582
Do you have any idea how
expensive this place is, Hank?

86
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,156
The rent is insane.

87
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:57,522
- Why are you living beyond your means?
- It's the only way I know how.

88
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:01,056
My ex-wife went off and married
a big-time movie producer.

89
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,793
So I went out
and rented a Malibu pussy pad.

90
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,597
God, if these walls could talk.

91
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,900
They'd tell you to put your clothes
back on, you depraved simian.

92
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:14,169
Depraved or not, I'm living
paycheck to paycheck, Hank.

93
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,906
And there are no more paychecks!

94
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,515
What am I gonna do?

95
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,020
I've got an idea.

96
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:26,589
It's not a particularly good one.
I'm sure I'm gonna suffer as a result.

97
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:30,421
But it's something that could benefit
the both of us, you mostly, though.

98
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,122
Do I have to be gay again?

99
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,266
- But you passed, Hank.
- Yes, I know.

100
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:39,335
- But I was not a well woman at the time.
- Not only did you pass...

101
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,837
- ...you puked all over his piano.
- Yes.

102
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,805
And his cocaine.
No, it is uncool, dude.

103
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,946
Yes, but we've made up since.
You know, we've broken bread.

104
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:51,081
We've shared women and cocaine.

105
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- I think he likes me again.
- Come on, Stu. Help us out here.

106
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:58,253
Look, fellas, as a producer,
there's only so much I can do.

107
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:02,916
The talent is driving the train
on this one.

108
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But I will put in a call.

109
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- Thank you.
- In the meantime...

110
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:12,363
- ...there's something you got to do for me.
- Anything.

111
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:15,563
You have got to convince Marcy
to sit down with me.

112
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,674
I have got to plead my case.

113
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,707
My business is going
to shit without her.

114
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,504
I can't do that, Stu.

115
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,704
She won't listen to me.

116
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,592
Smurf y tits, it's Hankness.

117
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,956
Yeah, you got to do me a favor.

118
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,792
You got to sit down with Stu.

119
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:46,664
I know he's a lying, cheating scumbag.
But he misses you something fierce.

120
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,534
Yeah, he misses that sweet
little blue pussy...

121
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,699
and that tight little raisin
of a cornhole.

122
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,037
All you got to do is sit down with him.
He won't munch your box, I promise.

123
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,114
- Scout's honor.
- He won't munch your box.

124
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,048
No, I won't.
It's just she tastes so fucking good.

125
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,347
- If you say so.
- Hold on a second.

126
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,048
- I never was the pussy-eater you were.
- You should have thought about it.

127
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,457
Compensate for your shitty hang time
and your serious lack of inches.

128
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:14,689
- Jesus, fuck you, Stu.
- Sorry, just keeping it real.

129
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,993
Will you shut the fuck up,
both of you?

130
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:20,261
Yeah? So you'll do it?

131
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,428
Oh, she'll do it.

132
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:26,097
Later, female ejaculator.

133
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:32,776
<i>Fuck you.</i>

134
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,715
Now, when you say "fuck you,"
what do you mean exactly?

135
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,151
I mean just that, fuck you.
And fuck him.

136
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,689
That arrogant motherfucker
was face-to-face...

137
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,917
with rock royalty
and he fucking blew it.

138
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,790
- I really thought we mended fences.
- We did. We have.

139
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:50,867
I like you. I'm a fan. But I can't collaborate
with you if you're not a fan of mine.

140
00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:53,401
- Why not?
- Because it's not natural.

141
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,631
If I work with you, there will
always be this voice in my head:

142
00:09:56,796 --> 00:10:01,074
"He's not a fan.
He thinks you suck. Maybe you do suck."

143
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:03,907
- Who wants to live like that?
- "What are you? Tone deaf?"

144
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,743
- Like that? What?
- Hank.

145
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:10,010
You are a fan, aren't you?

146
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,822
Yeah. Yeah, you know what?
I did what you asked me to do.

147
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,722
You said listen to your early stuff.

148
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:19,988
- That's what I did. I did, yeah.
- Really?

149
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,325
- Which record?
- Which record?

150
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,729
- Which record?
- Which record?

151
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,673
It was so good. It was...

152
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,902
<i>Go Fetch.</i>

153
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:38,606
- You don't sound very sure of yourself.
- No. I mean, that was... You know what?

154
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,911
That was really solid shit right there.
I really, really enjoyed it.

155
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,987
- What was your favorite song?
- What song did I like best?

156
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,090
On Go Fetch,
what was your favorite song?

157
00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:49,726
It's like children.
How do you choose a favorite song?

158
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:53,662
But if I had to choose,
like if you put a gun to my head...

159
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,027
"Step and Fetch it."

160
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:01,332
Really?

161
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:06,569
That's my favorite too. Yeah, I wrote that
in 15 minutes on the shitter.

162
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:09,406
It's responsible
for one of my least favorite hemorrhoids.

163
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:10,603
That's a good story.

164
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,983
"I'm fucking crazy."

165
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:19,316
Look, I'm in the middle
of an epic shit storm right now.

166
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:22,482
I fired my manager last week
because he's useless...

167
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:25,993
and I think he's stealing from me.
They all steal.

168
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:30,100
Mostly because he was just
a useless fucking glad-hander.

169
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:34,932
And I'm all out of cocaine,
and my dealer's not answering my calls.

170
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:39,940
And I just miss
my magic songwriting powder.

171
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:45,572
God, it makes me want to take a dump
just thinking about it.

172
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,513
- Charlie?
- Yes?

173
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:51,143
- You're a useless fucking glad-hander.
- Yes, yes, I am.

174
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:56,287
Might you be in the market
for new representation, Atticus?

175
00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:01,131
Dude, you're a Hollywood agent,
a wanker in a suit.

176
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:04,097
What the fuck would you know
about managing rock bands?

177
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,463
Hey, hey, don't judge
the wanker by the suit.

178
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:10,596
This dude, however bald and pasty,
is rock 'n' roll as they come...

179
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:14,438
- ...and loves to pound the pussy.
- This is true.

180
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,376
- I love to pound the pussy.
- He does.

181
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,072
Look...

182
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:22,414
if you can get me
some Peruvian flake...

183
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,113
I'll maybe, possibly think
about throwing you in the mix.

184
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,189
One thing of Bolivian flake, done.

185
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,691
Peruvian! Peruvian flake,
you fucking moron!

186
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,523
Any country you want.

187
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,961
- One more thing.
- Anything.

188
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,395
I need you to find me...

189
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:40,833
the 1945 Martin D-28 acoustic guitar
that belonged to the childhood friend...

190
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,370
I buried a few weeks ago.

191
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:47,568
I'm recording this tribute song for him,
and I have to have that fucking guitar.

192
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:49,542
It was so beautiful.

193
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,807
Talk about a gorgeous sound.

194
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:58,786
It was like listening to Jesus ejaculate
into the mouth of the angel Gabriel.

195
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:03,926
Great. Excellent.

196
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,586
You tell us where,
and we will get it for you.

197
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:12,725
If I knew where,
why the fuck would I need you?!

198
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:26,677
Hey.

199
00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,876
- Hey, yourself, young lady.
- We're looking for Faith.

200
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:34,491
Then you've come to the right place.
Come on in.

201
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,429
Hank Moody.

202
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:43,027
You don't seem that surprised
to see me.

203
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,430
Well, I suppose I conjured you.

204
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:48,834
How do you like the book so far?
Thank you for buying the hardcover.

205
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,496
So far, so good.

206
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,668
You got it right, the rock world.
Few writers do.

207
00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:00,343
Settle down, Runks. You never seen
a pair of breasteses before?

208
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,787
- I wasn't looking at the...
- No offense. They're lovely.

209
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:04,444
None taken. I know they are.

210
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,351
- Good for you.
- She knows.

211
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,582
Yeah, she knows.

212
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:12,058
- How's your sobriety treating you, Hank?
- About as good as yours, I see.

213
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:17,526
- Well, what can I do you for?
- Well, I need a guitar.

214
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:22,571
You know what? I think I saw a
Guitar Center just down the road a piece.

215
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:25,572
- Can't miss it.
- And some cocaine.

216
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:30,112
- Not just any guitar.
- Not just any cocaine.

217
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,476
Peruvian flakes.

218
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:38,886
It belonged to your D.R.S.B.,
your dead rock star boyfriend. Coining it.

219
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,183
- It's an old acoustic.
- A Martinelli.

220
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,884
A Martin, jackass.

221
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,928
I know it well.
He used to leave it here all the time.

222
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:51,000
Said he loved the idea of his favorite
guitar spending time with his favorite girl.

223
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:54,569
- That is sweet.
- So it's here?

224
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,139
- The guitar is here?
- No, not anymore.

225
00:14:57,296 --> 00:15:01,438
He got in deep with this drug dealer, so he
gave it to him to pay off money he owed.

226
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,605
- Oh, shit. Bummer.
- Doesn't have to be.

227
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:10,277
I suppose I could take
you guys over there.

228
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:15,050
- Do a little one-stop shopping.
- That would be most groovy of you.

229
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:19,458
Do you think that this guy might have
some cocaine as well?

230
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,562
He's retarded, isn't he?

231
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,900
You're Hank Moody.

232
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,007
Hank Moody I am be.
How'd you know that?

233
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:32,870
What, you don't think I can read?

234
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,069
Could you be any more
fucking condescending?

235
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:39,444
You think just because I sell narcotics,
I don't know how to crack a fucking book?

236
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,313
My shit just got more expensive,
motherfucker.

237
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:45,216
Wait, I say "motherfucker"
just like that. That's my thing.

238
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:47,550
Well, you're not the only one,
motherfucker.

239
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:50,887
- Motherfucker. Motherfucker.
- Motherfucker.

240
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:54,930
Sir, we need 1 pound
of your best Peruvian blend.

241
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,897
- We will be on our way.
- "Flake," jackass.

242
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,560
A pound?
You seriously want a pound?

243
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:03,639
Yes, yes.
How much is that gonna run me?

244
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,470
- Thirty-five.
- Hundy? That's a bit expensive.

245
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,737
We have to make a stop
at the money machine.

246
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,814
Grand. Thirty-five grand.

247
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,508
We're also gonna need Tony's guitar.

248
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,480
- Why?
- Atticus Fetch.

249
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,320
- He's desperate to record with it.
- Fuck that pompous dinosaur.

250
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,827
Hey, that's exactly what I said,
to his face.

251
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:30,456
My man.

252
00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:35,401
So you want a guitar that is
currently in my possession...

253
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:39,174
and some of my precious narcotics.

254
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,112
The question is:

255
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,373
What are you prepared to do for me?

256
00:16:48,907 --> 00:16:50,011
Look...

257
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:55,581
I think we both know that guitar
doesn't really belong to you.

258
00:16:55,748 --> 00:17:01,494
Tony gave it to you to pay off his tab,
but it really belongs to the world.

259
00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:05,999
It should be out there making music,
not hidden in some dark lair.

260
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:09,435
And who knows? That guitar could be
the thing that gets Atticus back...

261
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,769
to making some
beautiful fucking music again.

262
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,739
You make a convincing case, Faith.

263
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:22,178
Always fancied myself
a patron of the arts.

264
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,783
I got into dealing so I could be closer
to my favorite musicians.

265
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,686
But...

266
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:35,793
I don't know.
Also, Shari will give you a blow job...

267
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,958
- ...that could cure cancer.
- What?

268
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:42,105
Why do you always do this to me?

269
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:45,242
You said so yourself,
you need the practice.

270
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,600
This pleases me.

271
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:50,804
Usually I get head from ugly strippers
in exchange for drugs.

272
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,108
But that's not gonna get it done, folks.

273
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:57,049
If you want,
you can throw a shot into his mouth too.

274
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:58,847
Up until recently, he was a homo.

275
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:00,991
- Big, big, big homo.
- Look, look...

276
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,057
I tried to suck a man's dick.

277
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:06,856
I couldn't do that shit.
I'm too straight for that shit, okay?

278
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:10,057
Is there anything else
I can do for you?

279
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,861
I like that suit.

280
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,739
You like this suit?

281
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:20,672
I know just where you
can get this suit. They got all sizes.

282
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,109
I can point you in the right direction.

283
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,772
Take it off.

284
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:42,160
- Thank you so much for seeing me.
- Go in the living room.

285
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,164
I'll be right with you.

286
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,608
Oh, hello.

287
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,638
I'm Stu, Marcy's estranged hubby.

288
00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:59,173
Ophelia.

289
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:00,976
Pleasure to meet you, Ophelia.

290
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:06,187
I understand
you betrayed Marcy's trust.

291
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,816
That's true. I did, most certainly did.

292
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:16,399
I understand you put your dirty cock
in some young woman's mouth, twice.

293
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,535
I'm sorry. Who are you exactly?

294
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:22,661
And now you're trying to get back
in her good graces?

295
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,434
It's true. I am.

296
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,508
I'll do anything.

297
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,504
And you think the sweater
and the wine will do it?

298
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,742
No, no, no. Of course not.

299
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:39,117
But it is a 1964 Georges de Latour.

300
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,251
I just hope it's not too jammy.

301
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:50,530
- What on earth is that thing?
- It's a cock cage.

302
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,033
Oh I my'

303
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,294
What is a cock cage?

304
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:59,704
It is a male chastity device,
available on my website.

305
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,779
It traps your cock
in a flaccid state, Stu...

306
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,041
which is very nice and cozy.

307
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:11,577
But if you get aroused,
if you surrender to your baser instincts...

308
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:15,953
it can make things very unpleasant
for little big man down there.

309
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,718
Oh, dear.

310
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:21,828
- Are you suggesting I wear that thing?
- I'm not suggesting anything.

311
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:27,300
- You said you wanted to make it up to me.
- Don't you think you should wear that?

312
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:07,104
He's right. It does sound like Jesus
coming in someone's mouth.

313
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,644
- You would know.
- Well done, gents.

314
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:14,974
Now, where's my fucking cocaine?

315
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:29,028
- That's it? That's what you got me?
- That's all we could afford, Atticus.

316
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:33,503
Mr. Fetch, sir.

317
00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,868
This piddly amount of cocaine
will last me all of about 12 minutes...

318
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:41,808
you stupid, useless,
bent motherfucker!

319
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,574
Never get a suit to do a man's job!

320
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:47,182
"A suit"? You call me a suit?

321
00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:50,946
I gave up my suit for you, literally.

322
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:52,747
Don't you fucking dare.

323
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,735
You're right. She's right.
You're absolutely right.

324
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:12,603
This is a magnificent piece
of rock 'n' roll history...

325
00:22:12,764 --> 00:22:15,836
and it must be treated accordingly.

326
00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:20,113
And by the way, your defiance...

327
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:23,580
gave me a thunderous erection.

328
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:33,995
Look in the case.
Check the compartment.

329
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:36,428
He always kept drugs in there.

330
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:43,405
Here you go, rock-star asshole.

331
00:22:49,768 --> 00:22:52,442
This calls for a celebration.

332
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:57,444
Well done, gents.
It'll be an honor to work with both of you.

333
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,914
See you bright and early tomorrow...

334
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:03,982
afternoon.

335
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:18,467
Okay, so we're gonna go
to dinner now.

336
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:22,806
- Can I come?
- No, you filthy animal.

337
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:28,615
Marcy, maybe you should leave
the TV on for him.

338
00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:31,721
- Good idea.
- Yeah. Yeah.

339
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:34,180
<i>Yeah.</i>

340
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:36,849
Oh, no. Not girl-on-girl porn.

341
00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:38,688
- Marcy.
- What?

342
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:41,490
Don't forget to kiss
your hubby good night.

343
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,532
You're right. Of course.

344
00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:48,660
<i>- How</i> rude of me.
- No, baby. No.

345
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,348
No.

346
00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:13,391
The wine and the weed...

347
00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:17,090
has made this
big-time rock manager sleepy.

348
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:19,792
And sloppy.
If you're gonna hang outwith rock stars...

349
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,495
you better learn how
to handle your dope, buddy boy.

350
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,299
That's dope advice.

351
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:28,411
- You can crash here. Shari, can you...?
- I'm not sucking his dick.

352
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,173
I wasn't asking you to.

353
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:33,612
I meant,
can you show him the guest room?

354
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,342
Okay, sure.

355
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:42,050
- Can I see your boobies again?
- No.

356
00:24:43,882 --> 00:24:46,328
- Just one?
- Okay.

357
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:50,956
In answer to your question from earlier,
yes, he is retarded.

358
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:54,160
- But he means well.
- He's funny.

359
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:58,165
But you two are
especially cute together.

360
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,634
- Thanks for your help today.
- No.

361
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:05,042
You were great the other day
at the funeral.

362
00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:06,876
I'm happy I get to repay the favor.

363
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,512
I like your writing, Hank.

364
00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:17,788
Yeah, go on.
I like where this is going.

365
00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:20,486
Don't stop yourself. I will say nothing.

366
00:25:20,652 --> 00:25:23,565
Well, you were...

367
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:27,600
irritating in rehab, but...

368
00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,238
You've got that thing
that I keep an eye out for.

369
00:25:31,396 --> 00:25:34,138
- What thing?
- The thing that's hard to describe.

370
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:36,575
That flash, spark.

371
00:25:36,735 --> 00:25:38,942
You know,
some would call that genius.

372
00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:41,243
Some might, but I won't.

373
00:25:41,406 --> 00:25:46,048
I think "genius" is the single
most overused word of our lifetimes.

374
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,315
Word.

375
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:50,323
But I will say that you're clearly doing...

376
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:52,962
exactly what you were put
on this planet to do.

377
00:25:53,118 --> 00:25:57,589
You are making use of your gift,
and that is attractive.

378
00:25:57,756 --> 00:26:01,932
It's just... Let me get this straight.
You met me, and you found me irritating.

379
00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:04,869
- Thoroughly.
- And then you read my work...

380
00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:08,477
and you found me less irritating,
even attractive.

381
00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:13,913
- Something like that.
- God, that is like every writer's dream.

382
00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:17,180
And that never happens, ever.

383
00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:22,322
No, once it did happen, once before.

384
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,687
I could really do something with you.

385
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:32,494
You're obviously very talented,
but you haven't nailed it yet.

386
00:26:32,657 --> 00:26:35,501
Classic underachiever.
That's what my folks always said.

387
00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:37,537
It's pretty exciting, really.

388
00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:40,438
- What is?
- Because I could be the hammer.

389
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:41,771
Gulp.

390
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:45,881
The only question left is:
Do you want to be great, Hank?

391
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:52,752
Because that's how I make
my mark on the world...

392
00:26:53,311 --> 00:26:57,123
by helping you
make your mark on the world.

393
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,774
Good night.

394
00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:22,217
No, no, no. Don't you want to help me
make my mark over here?

395
00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:25,217
I didn't say this would be easy.