1 00:00:01,337 --> 00:00:03,472 (Tessa) At Chatswin High, most guys phoned it in, 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,022 giving their G.F.S the usual Valentine's Day crap. 3 00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:08,599 (Amplified voice) Listen... but for one lonely soul who lost his true love... 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:12,936 ♪ when ♪ 5 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,906 ♪ I ♪ 6 00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:19,309 ♪ had you ♪ 7 00:00:19,344 --> 00:00:26,617 ♪ I treated you bad ♪ 8 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:30,668 ♪ don't you know I sit around ♪ 9 00:00:30,695 --> 00:00:35,125 ♪ with my head hangin' down ♪ 10 00:00:35,193 --> 00:00:37,361 ♪ and I wonder ♪ 11 00:00:37,395 --> 00:00:39,396 ♪ who's ♪ 12 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,098 (feedback whines) Aah! 13 00:00:41,132 --> 00:00:42,184 (Thud) 14 00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:44,553 If you think exploiting my love for Smokey Robinson 15 00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:45,891 and life-sized doll-making 16 00:00:45,906 --> 00:00:47,533 is gonna make me forget what you did? You're... 17 00:00:47,653 --> 00:00:49,918 Lisa, you think I wanted your mom to see me naked? 18 00:00:49,918 --> 00:00:51,107 It was an accident! 19 00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:53,164 Baby, can't you see the tracks of my tears? 20 00:00:53,176 --> 00:00:55,144 I'm... I'm prepared to sing that one, too! 21 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:58,247 Actually, I don't... I don't have that sheet music. 22 00:00:58,281 --> 00:01:00,585 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 23 00:01:00,617 --> 00:01:05,400 (Alih jey) * last night I had a pleasant nightmare * 24 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,290 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 25 00:01:08,774 --> 00:01:10,870 Even though it's a cheesy commercial holiday, 26 00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:12,076 I had to admit, 27 00:01:12,111 --> 00:01:14,812 having my own doting Valentine felt pretty good. 28 00:01:14,847 --> 00:01:16,446 I see you got my card. 29 00:01:16,566 --> 00:01:18,464 I'm still awaiting your reply. 30 00:01:18,584 --> 00:01:20,118 Mm... 31 00:01:20,152 --> 00:01:20,787 "Y." 32 00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,368 "Y"? "Y"! 33 00:01:22,488 --> 00:01:25,197 I knew she'd say "Y"! She said "Y"! 34 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,491 Here's the thing. (Clears throat) 35 00:01:26,525 --> 00:01:29,170 Um, I overheard you talking about going 36 00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:31,829 to Cody Bufford's valentines... rager? 37 00:01:31,821 --> 00:01:34,206 Rager. Rager! 38 00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:36,741 Yeah. Cody's mom has super low self-esteem 39 00:01:36,741 --> 00:01:38,399 and said she's buy us a keg of beer 40 00:01:38,438 --> 00:01:40,244 if we all wear these t-shirts. 41 00:01:40,612 --> 00:01:42,872 Uh... wouldn't it be more romantic 42 00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:45,143 to spend Valentine's Day just the two of us? 43 00:01:45,177 --> 00:01:46,994 Just the two of us? 44 00:01:47,114 --> 00:01:48,120 Doing what? 45 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,963 Well, I'm glad you asked. 46 00:01:51,083 --> 00:01:53,266 There's a movie playing at this art house theater, 47 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:54,955 and I've been dying to see it. 48 00:01:55,075 --> 00:01:56,574 Tonight is the last night. 49 00:01:56,621 --> 00:01:59,952 Don't those art house movies have a lot of, like, dialogue? 50 00:01:59,952 --> 00:02:02,604 Well, according to NPR, this one is thrilling. 51 00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:04,817 They gave it two quills up. 52 00:02:04,937 --> 00:02:06,240 It's called "Sea of Anguish." 53 00:02:06,272 --> 00:02:08,180 Oh, is it based on a water park ride? 54 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,721 I tend to really respond 55 00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:10,729 to movies based on water park rides. 56 00:02:10,745 --> 00:02:12,067 No, I think it's less of a ride 57 00:02:12,071 --> 00:02:15,139 and more of a moody, elliptical fever dream. 58 00:02:15,174 --> 00:02:16,708 (Mouths words) 59 00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,996 But they have really good caramel corn. 60 00:02:19,116 --> 00:02:21,240 Or gummi bears? 61 00:02:21,631 --> 00:02:24,048 Caramel corn and gummi bears? 62 00:02:26,683 --> 00:02:27,458 Yeah? 63 00:02:27,473 --> 00:02:28,639 Yeah. Cool. 64 00:02:28,662 --> 00:02:29,413 (Class bell rings) Okay. 65 00:02:29,428 --> 00:02:30,977 Ryan and I weren't the only ones 66 00:02:30,993 --> 00:02:32,823 with big plans for Valentine's Day. 67 00:02:32,943 --> 00:02:36,008 - George was preparing to sweep Dallas off her feet. - Wow. 68 00:02:36,128 --> 00:02:38,310 Okay. Hi. Uh, George Altman. 69 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,002 I just wanted to confirm my reservation 70 00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,715 for the Valentine's dinner tonight. 71 00:02:41,715 --> 00:02:43,123 Yes. Mr. Altman. 72 00:02:43,123 --> 00:02:45,429 You're one of the lucky few to have secured a spot. 73 00:02:45,549 --> 00:02:47,283 - Okay. - Oh, and I see you opted 74 00:02:47,322 --> 00:02:49,864 for the 18-course premium package. 75 00:02:49,911 --> 00:02:51,264 Well, yeah. Actually, 76 00:02:51,295 --> 00:02:53,352 it's my first Valentine's with my girlfriend, 77 00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,947 so I kind of wanna make it special. 78 00:02:55,981 --> 00:02:57,239 Oh, it will be. 79 00:02:57,359 --> 00:02:59,298 Somehow, we convinced Chef Julio Proust 80 00:02:59,273 --> 00:03:03,669 to grace us with his muscular, innovative cooking. (Pig squealing) 81 00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,482 As a Valentine's special, 82 00:03:05,498 --> 00:03:07,085 he's prepared a first course 83 00:03:07,117 --> 00:03:09,823 of paper-thin slices of pig's heart 84 00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:12,490 drizzled in a sauce of its own blood. 85 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,921 Wow. 86 00:03:13,913 --> 00:03:15,790 Yummers. 87 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:17,375 (Squeals) 88 00:03:17,495 --> 00:03:18,269 Oh. 89 00:03:18,303 --> 00:03:21,538 - Mommy? - No! No! No! 90 00:03:21,658 --> 00:03:24,072 Mommy, was that you? 91 00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:28,365 Uh, Dalia, it is me, but it isn't me. 92 00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:30,093 It's too hard to explain. 93 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,792 Mommy, you're scaring me. Why are you hiding? 94 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,898 Okay. Well, have you ever heard of blowtox? 95 00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:39,736 A new injectable derived from the deadly Japanese blowfish? 96 00:03:39,856 --> 00:03:41,026 No. 97 00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:45,341 How bad is it? 98 00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:48,010 Tell me I don't need to cancel my date with George tonight. 99 00:03:48,346 --> 00:03:50,247 Remember that guy in Florida 100 00:03:50,255 --> 00:03:52,937 who got his entire face eaten off by an alligator 101 00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:54,939 and then had reconstructive surgery, 102 00:03:54,978 --> 00:03:56,354 and then when the picture surfaced, 103 00:03:56,346 --> 00:03:59,748 everyone was like "wait... this is after the surgery? 104 00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:02,525 What the hell did he look like before the surgery?" 105 00:04:02,645 --> 00:04:03,807 Yeah? 106 00:04:03,854 --> 00:04:06,294 Well, if that guy had a baby with the elephant man, 107 00:04:06,309 --> 00:04:08,014 and that baby got really old, 108 00:04:08,022 --> 00:04:10,399 and then something on that baby got infected, 109 00:04:10,519 --> 00:04:13,116 that would be you. 110 00:04:13,150 --> 00:04:14,117 Ugh. 111 00:04:14,325 --> 00:04:16,602 Well, thanks for your honesty. 112 00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:19,050 Ugh. 113 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:21,658 Mommy, you're really disgusting. 114 00:04:21,692 --> 00:04:23,812 (Door squeaks) Hello, sweetheart. 115 00:04:23,835 --> 00:04:25,321 Mother. You're a little early. 116 00:04:25,321 --> 00:04:27,330 And by a little, I mean a whole day. 117 00:04:27,364 --> 00:04:29,356 Oh, Sheila. You and your schedules. 118 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:30,623 It's so confining. 119 00:04:30,743 --> 00:04:32,023 - I changed my mind. - Well... 120 00:04:32,036 --> 00:04:33,203 How 'bout that? 121 00:04:33,237 --> 00:04:34,909 You should try it sometime. 122 00:04:35,029 --> 00:04:37,006 Is that my Gam Gam? 123 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:39,875 Oh, there's my boy. 124 00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:41,220 Give me some lovin'. 125 00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:43,496 Oh, look at you. You're so skinny. 126 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,075 Well... I gotta put my arms around you. 127 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,831 Oh! He's all ribs, like a greyhound. 128 00:04:47,837 --> 00:04:50,139 Well, I do play cardio ping-pong once a week 129 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,974 - with the boys down at the club. - Honey, don't worry. 130 00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:55,940 Tonight, you are gonna feast like the king that you are. 131 00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:57,041 Oh, no, no, mother. 132 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,724 I have a whole Valentine's menu planned. 133 00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:00,501 - I am making chicken breasts... - Ooh. 134 00:05:00,514 --> 00:05:02,409 - Generously seasoned with paprika. - Mmm. 135 00:05:02,415 --> 00:05:05,575 Oh, Fred, you can have those skinny breasts anytime. 136 00:05:05,632 --> 00:05:10,417 How does a thick, juicy rib eye sound? 137 00:05:10,461 --> 00:05:13,326 (Laughs) The woman brings meat across state lines. 138 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:14,765 How can you not love that? 139 00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:17,274 You married the wrong woman, Fred Shay. (Gasps) 140 00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:19,315 (Fred laughs) 141 00:05:26,496 --> 00:05:29,793 she just loves waltzing into my home 142 00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:31,782 in those senior stilettos, 143 00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:34,478 acting like she showed up a day early by accident. 144 00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:35,562 That was no accident. 145 00:05:35,573 --> 00:05:38,165 She wants to ruin my Valentine's Day. 146 00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:42,330 And watching your father lap up the attention... 147 00:05:42,355 --> 00:05:44,376 got to admit, big turnoff. 148 00:05:44,496 --> 00:05:46,166 Not the least bit aroused. 149 00:05:46,391 --> 00:05:48,262 Not gonna be no nookie tonight for Fred. 150 00:05:48,287 --> 00:05:49,964 Okay, mother, please? 151 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,948 You'll notice I am indulging not in chocolate, 152 00:05:51,954 --> 00:05:54,344 but in a lengthy biography of George Washington, 153 00:05:54,413 --> 00:05:57,003 because the only February holiday I celebrate 154 00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:58,279 is Presidents' Day. 155 00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:00,508 (Thud) (Malik) Fair maiden! 156 00:06:00,542 --> 00:06:03,144 Forsooth I do beg your forbearance! 157 00:06:03,178 --> 00:06:05,213 Whilst thou lend a gentle ear? 158 00:06:05,247 --> 00:06:07,701 ♪ with a hey nonny nonny and a hey nonny hey ♪ 159 00:06:07,716 --> 00:06:09,703 ♪ and a hey nonny nonny and a... ♪ 160 00:06:09,728 --> 00:06:11,592 If he thinks that he can exploit 161 00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:13,631 my fondness of 16th-century folklore, 162 00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:14,908 he's got another think coming. 163 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,103 I told you the intro was too long. 164 00:06:16,128 --> 00:06:17,711 No, no. You need the "hey nonny nonnys." 165 00:06:17,743 --> 00:06:18,993 They... they set the mood. 166 00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:24,050 Lisa, that little cocoa puff out there is cuckoo for you. 167 00:06:24,344 --> 00:06:26,014 Maybe you should at least hear him out. 168 00:06:26,039 --> 00:06:28,616 Don't you have anything better to do on Valentine's Day 169 00:06:28,641 --> 00:06:29,993 than try to control my life? 170 00:06:30,005 --> 00:06:31,525 As a matter of fact, I do. 171 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,246 Tonight, your father and I are going to be learning... 172 00:06:34,502 --> 00:06:35,797 to tango. 173 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,768 The Alfred Himmelsbock way. 174 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:39,795 Adios. 175 00:06:41,804 --> 00:06:44,963 I hope you are ready to suck the marrow out of life, 176 00:06:44,982 --> 00:06:46,922 and I mean that quite literally. 177 00:06:47,042 --> 00:06:49,469 I hear this chef works a lot with marrow. 178 00:06:49,525 --> 00:06:50,332 Oh... 179 00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:52,465 I'm afraid I'm in no position 180 00:06:52,502 --> 00:06:54,198 to suck anything tonight, George. 181 00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:55,918 What? What... what's going on? 182 00:06:55,968 --> 00:06:57,132 It's Dalia. 183 00:06:57,138 --> 00:06:58,809 She's under the weather. 184 00:06:58,929 --> 00:07:00,905 Are you sure? Dalia's pretty tough. 185 00:07:00,911 --> 00:07:02,244 And it's Valentine's Day. 186 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,415 Oh, but she's projectile vomiting. 187 00:07:04,471 --> 00:07:06,448 I think I saw a crucifix in there. 188 00:07:06,461 --> 00:07:08,149 She's either sick or possessed. 189 00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:10,026 Either way, I'm in for the night. 190 00:07:10,076 --> 00:07:11,321 Okay, say no more. 191 00:07:11,353 --> 00:07:14,669 I don't care how expensive or non-refundable that meal is, 192 00:07:14,687 --> 00:07:16,151 your child comes first. 193 00:07:16,158 --> 00:07:17,215 I'll make it up to you, 194 00:07:17,253 --> 00:07:19,011 I promise. (Beeps) 195 00:07:20,337 --> 00:07:21,626 Bailed on V-Day? 196 00:07:21,914 --> 00:07:23,766 Yeah. Hey... 197 00:07:24,279 --> 00:07:26,550 you don't feel like sharing 18 courses 198 00:07:26,581 --> 00:07:28,709 of award-winning cuisine with me? 199 00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:31,555 Well, I would, but I have a hot date. 200 00:07:31,675 --> 00:07:32,424 Oh. 201 00:07:33,783 --> 00:07:36,561 (Tango music playing) 202 00:07:37,562 --> 00:07:38,343 Ha! 203 00:07:39,765 --> 00:07:40,426 Ha! 204 00:07:40,789 --> 00:07:42,047 You'll never believe it. 205 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:44,731 Turns out Gam Gam has been taking tango lessons 206 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:45,751 at the senior center. 207 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,891 Except that none of those old crones 208 00:07:47,928 --> 00:07:50,975 can move like Alfredo can. (Laughs) 209 00:07:51,188 --> 00:07:53,578 He's a natural. 210 00:07:53,916 --> 00:07:55,242 What about our tapes? 211 00:07:55,286 --> 00:07:57,244 You're not upset, are you? 212 00:07:57,457 --> 00:07:58,683 Initially, she was. 213 00:07:58,689 --> 00:08:00,986 But then, in that very moment, 214 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,931 Sheila realized what Lisa must have felt 215 00:08:02,962 --> 00:08:05,065 every time her mother made Malik a sandwich, 216 00:08:05,053 --> 00:08:07,662 gave him a pound, locked it and exploded it, 217 00:08:07,681 --> 00:08:10,634 or made some poorly drawn reference to a Wayans. 218 00:08:10,754 --> 00:08:13,263 Just like Gam Gam, Sheila had been cutting in, 219 00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:15,208 and she shouldn't have been. 220 00:08:15,485 --> 00:08:16,785 (Projector clicking) (Woman on screen) Mother. 221 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:18,687 Lover. Lover. 222 00:08:18,722 --> 00:08:19,618 Mother. 223 00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:21,795 (Tessa) So that movie I was so excited about 224 00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,841 turned out to be a total drag. 225 00:08:23,847 --> 00:08:26,481 I mean, there wasn't enough caramel corn in the world. 226 00:08:26,744 --> 00:08:28,484 And if it was bad for me, 227 00:08:28,534 --> 00:08:31,867 i could only imagine how much Ryan was suffering. 228 00:08:32,463 --> 00:08:35,022 (Whispers) Hey. You doing okay? 229 00:08:35,142 --> 00:08:36,948 (Woman on screen) Mother. Lover. 230 00:08:37,373 --> 00:08:38,024 Lover. 231 00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:39,174 (Whispers) Not really. 232 00:08:39,207 --> 00:08:41,866 Mother. Lover. 233 00:08:41,986 --> 00:08:44,324 - Lover. - It's just so... 234 00:08:44,331 --> 00:08:46,808 (Tessa) Confusing? Pretentious? Terrible? 235 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:47,820 So... 236 00:08:47,854 --> 00:08:50,137 There are lots of things I thought he would say. 237 00:08:50,257 --> 00:08:51,719 But not one of them was... 238 00:08:51,725 --> 00:08:53,659 (Crying) Beautiful. 239 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,862 It's so beautiful. 240 00:08:56,896 --> 00:09:00,332 (Candy and popcorn rattling) 241 00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:01,800 (Indistinct conversations) 242 00:09:02,268 --> 00:09:03,738 Oh, hey, buddy. 243 00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,797 Okay, so listen, here's the thing... 244 00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:08,694 due to some unforeseen stuff, 245 00:09:09,238 --> 00:09:11,372 I'm gonna need my meal to go. 246 00:09:11,492 --> 00:09:12,746 To go? 247 00:09:12,781 --> 00:09:14,200 Yeah. I know there's no refund, 248 00:09:14,212 --> 00:09:17,096 so if you could just, you know, wrap it up for me. 249 00:09:17,128 --> 00:09:18,348 Wrap it up? 250 00:09:18,398 --> 00:09:20,737 Are you just gonna keep repeating what I say, or... 251 00:09:20,762 --> 00:09:21,682 - Sir. - What? 252 00:09:21,682 --> 00:09:25,574 Chef Julio's 18-course menu isn't a meal. 253 00:09:25,694 --> 00:09:27,828 It's an experience. 254 00:09:27,863 --> 00:09:30,235 Like scaling an icy glacier 255 00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:32,181 or swimming with an endangered sea turtle. 256 00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:34,903 Now how on earth would I wrap that up... 257 00:09:35,023 --> 00:09:36,003 to go? 258 00:09:36,455 --> 00:09:38,025 In 18 little bags? 259 00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:38,939 (Clacks) 260 00:09:38,974 --> 00:09:40,741 (Laughter) 261 00:09:41,735 --> 00:09:43,862 Okay, listen, I am not a man who's accustomed 262 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,727 to paying $600 for anything I can't drive around in, 263 00:09:46,727 --> 00:09:49,067 so I'm having trouble just walking away from this. 264 00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:51,745 And in such a comfortable shoe. 265 00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:53,246 Ha ha. 266 00:09:53,366 --> 00:09:54,416 You know what? 267 00:09:54,773 --> 00:09:57,544 On second thought, I guess I'm eating for two. 268 00:09:57,544 --> 00:09:58,802 (Laughs) 269 00:09:59,034 --> 00:09:59,737 (Slaps) 270 00:09:59,784 --> 00:10:01,393 If you don't mind. 271 00:10:02,512 --> 00:10:05,584 I had no idea that his ghost was gonna come back 272 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,181 for 45 minutes as an eel. 273 00:10:08,237 --> 00:10:09,538 Was that an eel? 274 00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,453 Wait. You didn't love the movie? 275 00:10:12,816 --> 00:10:14,161 I didn't love that movie. 276 00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:16,975 I didn't like that movie, even a little bit. 277 00:10:17,038 --> 00:10:20,160 I thought it was terrible. 278 00:10:20,742 --> 00:10:22,087 I'm sorry I suggested it. 279 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,596 How can you say that? It changed my life. 280 00:10:24,962 --> 00:10:26,496 It... 281 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:28,588 there was a 5-minute part 282 00:10:28,606 --> 00:10:30,446 that was nothing but the little boy 283 00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:32,217 staring at a dead fish. 284 00:10:32,337 --> 00:10:34,737 That dead fish was the boy's mother. 285 00:10:34,772 --> 00:10:36,259 (Laughs) How do you know that? 286 00:10:36,246 --> 00:10:37,807 How do you not know that? 287 00:10:38,048 --> 00:10:41,014 Valentine's Day was slipping through our fingers. 288 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,942 Unless Ryan and I could find some common ground. 289 00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:44,736 Hey, how do you... 290 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:47,226 how do you feel about stopping by Cody's? 291 00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,722 I could... I could really use a rager right now. 292 00:10:49,842 --> 00:10:52,237 Come on. We can... 293 00:10:52,493 --> 00:10:55,215 tell his mom how sexy she is. 294 00:10:55,578 --> 00:10:57,073 You go ahead. 295 00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:00,896 I feel like walking the earth. 296 00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:20,929 (siren wailing in distance) 297 00:11:30,696 --> 00:11:32,366 It's been a while, Mrs. Shay. 298 00:11:32,836 --> 00:11:34,275 Indeed it has. 299 00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,296 Indeed it has. 300 00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:44,448 (Rattling) 301 00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:45,973 You're amazing, Mrs. Shay. 302 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,652 Easy, Malik. Take it easy. 303 00:11:50,522 --> 00:11:53,112 (Mouth full) I missed your chicken salad so much. 304 00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:55,489 I've missed giving it to you. 305 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,593 There's only one thing I've missed more than this. 306 00:12:00,526 --> 00:12:01,940 It's Lisa. 307 00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:03,567 I know. 308 00:12:07,452 --> 00:12:09,860 And I know what you need to do to get her back. 309 00:12:11,224 --> 00:12:12,795 Sheila and Malik weren't the only ones 310 00:12:12,813 --> 00:12:14,252 avoiding being seen. 311 00:12:14,372 --> 00:12:16,367 Dallas was spending her Valentine's Day 312 00:12:16,385 --> 00:12:17,905 hiding in the shadows. 313 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:18,982 (Door closes) (Tessa) Hello? 314 00:12:19,457 --> 00:12:21,996 - Dallas? -Tessa, is that you? 315 00:12:22,222 --> 00:12:24,988 It's really dark in here. Do you mind if I... 316 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,527 Freeze! 317 00:12:26,727 --> 00:12:28,792 I'm just not in the mood for direct lighting. 318 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,538 Okay. I was on a date with Ryan tonight. 319 00:12:31,658 --> 00:12:35,986 And the whole thing was my idea, 320 00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:38,423 but I realized halfway through I didn't like it, 321 00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:40,572 and he really liked it, 322 00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:44,113 and he got all mad at me because I wasn't into it. 323 00:12:44,156 --> 00:12:46,765 If we're talkin' about what I think we're talkin' about, 324 00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:49,493 if they can't get you there even once, 325 00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:51,695 their whole world comes crashing down. 326 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,571 And it's like, we understand. 327 00:12:53,691 --> 00:12:55,449 I'm talking about a movie. 328 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:58,108 Oh. Then I don't know what his problem is. 329 00:12:58,089 --> 00:13:00,573 Just because we didn't have the same exact experience, 330 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,263 he got mad and he walked away. 331 00:13:04,064 --> 00:13:06,737 And now I'm alone on Valentine's Day. 332 00:13:07,111 --> 00:13:10,307 Y'all are discovering you have differences. 333 00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:12,579 That doesn't mean it's the end. 334 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,130 It means it's a beginning. 335 00:13:14,331 --> 00:13:15,106 It does? 336 00:13:15,131 --> 00:13:16,964 Yes. You're learning how to navigate 337 00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:20,906 through the lumps and the bumps and the flaky parts, 338 00:13:21,026 --> 00:13:22,741 and the... swollen sections, 339 00:13:22,861 --> 00:13:26,037 filled with fluids, just beggin' to be lanced. 340 00:13:26,094 --> 00:13:27,383 Okay. Now you're scaring me. 341 00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:31,111 What I'm trying to say is, go find your man. 342 00:13:32,319 --> 00:13:33,826 I will if you will. 343 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,085 (Sighs) You know what? You're right. 344 00:13:36,336 --> 00:13:37,700 George would love me 345 00:13:37,706 --> 00:13:39,790 whether I looked like Charlize Theron 346 00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:42,024 or Charlize Theron in "Monster." 347 00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:43,538 Right? (Clicks) 348 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,342 And you tried icing it? 349 00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,502 (Laughs) Whoo. That was a workout. 350 00:13:51,521 --> 00:13:52,822 I'll tell you, Fred Shay, 351 00:13:52,891 --> 00:13:55,556 you have the tango touch. 352 00:13:55,590 --> 00:13:57,865 (Laughs) 353 00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,018 Well. What have we here? 354 00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:02,846 In keeping with the Spanish theme of our evening, 355 00:14:02,846 --> 00:14:05,849 I have made some mini churros with chocolate sauce. 356 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:08,283 Mrs. Shay. What decadence. 357 00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:10,160 Keep it in your pants, Fred. They're oven-baked. 358 00:14:10,198 --> 00:14:12,744 Though I did use a heavy hand on the cinnamon shaker. 359 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:14,540 So... oh. Well. Ow! 360 00:14:14,576 --> 00:14:15,322 Oh. 361 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:17,692 I think all that abrazo-ing is causing me to cramp up. 362 00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:20,871 Oh, sorry, honey. Excuse me. Allow me. 363 00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:23,022 - Oh! Boy. - Is it too deep? 364 00:14:23,054 --> 00:14:25,350 Nope. You get in there, Gam Gam. 365 00:14:25,387 --> 00:14:27,702 Oh, you dig as deep as you dare. 366 00:14:27,822 --> 00:14:29,942 Oh, that's the stuff. (Doorbell rings) 367 00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:31,344 Oh. 368 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,258 Aah. 369 00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:34,862 Ooh. 370 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,838 Malik. What a surprise. 371 00:14:38,095 --> 00:14:40,197 (Fred groaning) Oh. 372 00:14:40,535 --> 00:14:43,544 Oh... oh, yes. How's that feel? 373 00:14:43,538 --> 00:14:45,640 Sheila wasn't the only one losing her appetite. 374 00:14:45,674 --> 00:14:47,060 Aah... 375 00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:48,623 For your 15th course, 376 00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:51,945 we present a pork belly and veal tongue hash, 377 00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,318 finished with shards of micro-beak 378 00:14:54,362 --> 00:14:56,878 - in a freshly lambed foam. - Lambed? 379 00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:58,254 Did you... (Laughs) 380 00:14:58,279 --> 00:15:00,807 It's a verb? Lambed? "To lamb"? 381 00:15:00,927 --> 00:15:02,058 Who lambed it? 382 00:15:02,058 --> 00:15:02,690 (Julio) I did. 383 00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:04,104 I lambed it this morning. 384 00:15:04,426 --> 00:15:06,060 (Clacks) 385 00:15:07,051 --> 00:15:10,367 It was an honor to watch you lamb it. 386 00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:12,366 You're very lucky. 387 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,201 (Slurring) You're very lucky. 388 00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:21,635 Guys, my girl used to look at me just like that. 389 00:15:21,691 --> 00:15:23,856 Made me feel like number one. Right? 390 00:15:24,118 --> 00:15:25,620 It feels good. 391 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:27,991 Yeah, but tonight, she totally... (Clears throat) 392 00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:29,886 bailed on me, 393 00:15:30,074 --> 00:15:32,501 so here I am feeling like number two... 394 00:15:32,621 --> 00:15:34,685 (Laughs) 395 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,946 Right? Did you get it? Number two? 396 00:15:39,321 --> 00:15:40,398 We get it. 397 00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:41,574 Yeah. (Laughs) 398 00:15:41,643 --> 00:15:45,465 Okay. Don't mind me. I'm just drunk and lonely. 399 00:15:45,465 --> 00:15:46,479 George. 400 00:15:46,817 --> 00:15:49,745 (Mouth full) Hey! That's her. That's my girlfriend. 401 00:15:49,726 --> 00:15:51,791 - The most beautiful girl in the world. - Shh. Shh. 402 00:15:52,141 --> 00:15:53,780 Underneath the bag. 403 00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,439 George. George, come here. 404 00:15:58,341 --> 00:15:59,336 (Mouth full) Hey. 405 00:15:59,811 --> 00:16:01,864 Hey, I didn't wanna leave you here all alone. 406 00:16:01,876 --> 00:16:03,722 But let's just slip out without making a scene. 407 00:16:03,759 --> 00:16:06,087 Okay. Hey, take a good look, folks! 408 00:16:06,347 --> 00:16:07,681 But hands off! 409 00:16:08,064 --> 00:16:10,329 This sweet gal is mine! 410 00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:11,943 (Laughs) Come on. 411 00:16:19,338 --> 00:16:20,408 This better be good, mother. 412 00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:21,653 I just got to the valley forge section, 413 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,268 and there is a riveting passage about gangrene. 414 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,389 Hey, Lisa. 415 00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:28,371 Mother, would you please show this gentleman to the door 416 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,500 and tell him that I do not wish to be disturbed again? 417 00:16:30,806 --> 00:16:32,770 Young lady, I think you have shown 418 00:16:32,789 --> 00:16:34,810 quite enough attitude today. 419 00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:36,492 Now if you can't be polite to Malik, 420 00:16:36,523 --> 00:16:39,064 then I am gonna take away your library privileges. 421 00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:40,334 You know what, Mrs. Shay? 422 00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:41,960 Maybe you should back off. 423 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:43,455 Excuse me? 424 00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:45,352 I'm sick of hearing the way you talk to Lisa. 425 00:16:45,389 --> 00:16:48,404 She doesn't deserve that tone. Nobody does. 426 00:16:48,524 --> 00:16:50,319 I hardly think it is your place 427 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:52,033 to tell me how to talk to my own daughter. 428 00:16:52,153 --> 00:16:53,491 You know what? That's where you're wrong. 429 00:16:53,611 --> 00:16:55,067 You're the one who's always putting your nose 430 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,120 where it doesn't belong, like in our relationship. 431 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,358 You know what else? 432 00:16:58,409 --> 00:17:01,731 Your "chicken salad"? Yeah, it ain't all that, mama. 433 00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:02,883 Well, if that is how you feel, 434 00:17:02,908 --> 00:17:04,579 then I agree with Lisa. You'd better go. 435 00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:08,489 You are no longer welcome in my home, Mr. Lafrique. 436 00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:15,159 (Door squeaks) 437 00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:18,356 (Door squeaks) 438 00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:23,311 (Indistinct conversations) 439 00:17:23,431 --> 00:17:24,525 Hey. 440 00:17:25,238 --> 00:17:27,297 I thought you were out walking the earth. 441 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,261 I came looking for you. 442 00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:31,927 It is Valentine's Day. 443 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,605 * 444 00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:35,744 This couch is wet. 445 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,565 That's 'cause Cody's mom threw up on it a few minutes ago. 446 00:17:40,079 --> 00:17:42,357 I'm sorry I walked out on you. 447 00:17:42,952 --> 00:17:44,404 If that movie taught me anything, 448 00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:47,094 it's that we have to forgive those in the darkness 449 00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,378 who don't yet see the light. 450 00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:57,456 Yeah. 451 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:58,889 And... 452 00:17:59,464 --> 00:18:01,817 I know, in a surprise turn of events, 453 00:18:01,823 --> 00:18:04,550 that you liked that movie and I didn't. 454 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,315 But maybe that's hat makes us a cool couple. 455 00:18:08,066 --> 00:18:10,368 We're unpredictable. 456 00:18:10,569 --> 00:18:11,595 Yeah. 457 00:18:11,826 --> 00:18:13,622 And we're both super good looking. 458 00:18:13,897 --> 00:18:15,993 (Exhales) 459 00:18:19,909 --> 00:18:21,298 Happy Valentine's Day. 460 00:18:21,342 --> 00:18:23,401 Happy Valentine's Day. 461 00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:25,158 Okay. So... 462 00:18:25,684 --> 00:18:27,110 what was that part 463 00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:30,589 where the masked guy is bowing to the horse statue about? 464 00:18:30,945 --> 00:18:32,328 That was about war. 465 00:18:32,448 --> 00:18:34,292 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 466 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,670 What about the monkey running through the art museum? 467 00:18:36,790 --> 00:18:38,259 That was about freedom. 468 00:18:38,379 --> 00:18:41,844 Whoa. Who knew? 469 00:18:44,765 --> 00:18:46,167 Oh, man. 470 00:18:46,287 --> 00:18:49,339 I think I exceeded the daily allowance 471 00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:51,797 of animal colon tonight. 472 00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:53,023 You know what? I know I did. 473 00:18:53,086 --> 00:18:55,294 Okay. Easy does it. Almost there. 474 00:18:55,414 --> 00:18:57,372 Dallas, you know I mean this 475 00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:59,818 in the most respectful way possible, 476 00:19:00,062 --> 00:19:02,402 but you're kind of reminding me of a serial killer right now. 477 00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,890 You gotta show me what's under the bag. 478 00:19:03,903 --> 00:19:06,680 I will. I just wanna make sure you don't freak out first. 479 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,427 I ate digestive tract tonight, okay? 480 00:19:09,446 --> 00:19:10,997 Nothing's gonna make me freak out. 481 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,605 Just tell me what's going on. 482 00:19:12,649 --> 00:19:15,595 Okay. I had a... procedure 483 00:19:15,715 --> 00:19:17,966 that went a bit awry. 484 00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:19,943 How awry? 485 00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,845 Uh... 486 00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:23,272 Okay. 487 00:19:27,739 --> 00:19:28,822 Wow. 488 00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:31,549 What did... 489 00:19:31,874 --> 00:19:33,244 Okay. 490 00:19:33,595 --> 00:19:35,365 You know... 491 00:19:36,723 --> 00:19:37,837 Ooh, wow. 492 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,733 It's bad, isn't it? It's really bad. 493 00:19:40,783 --> 00:19:42,253 You... you don't have to change yourself. 494 00:19:42,290 --> 00:19:43,504 Anything about yourself. 495 00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:46,776 You're... to me, you're so sexy, and... and... 496 00:19:47,089 --> 00:19:49,454 (Stomach groans) 497 00:19:49,692 --> 00:19:51,156 (Stomach gurgles) 498 00:19:51,175 --> 00:19:54,115 And beautiful, and... (Burps) 499 00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:55,585 (Stomach groans) 500 00:19:55,766 --> 00:19:57,105 (Burps) Oh, God. 501 00:19:57,225 --> 00:19:58,225 - George? - Mm-hmm. 502 00:19:58,262 --> 00:20:01,190 You were just tellin' me that I'm sexy and beautiful. 503 00:20:01,228 --> 00:20:02,191 I... I was and I will, 504 00:20:02,204 --> 00:20:04,212 just... (Gurgling continues) 505 00:20:04,332 --> 00:20:06,026 Oh, God, this isn't about you, I swear. 506 00:20:06,026 --> 00:20:09,261 It's all the intestines in my... intestines. 507 00:20:09,743 --> 00:20:11,113 (Groaning) 508 00:20:11,107 --> 00:20:12,408 Excuse me. 509 00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,362 Are you sure it's not me? 510 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,482 Love, thankfully, is resilient. 511 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:19,515 It can continue to thrive 512 00:20:19,527 --> 00:20:21,398 in the most unlikely circumstances. 513 00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:22,499 Malik? 514 00:20:23,844 --> 00:20:24,964 Hey. 515 00:20:25,665 --> 00:20:26,892 Um... 516 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,902 thanks for standing up to my mother. 517 00:20:32,122 --> 00:20:34,593 It felt really good to have you on my side. 518 00:20:35,413 --> 00:20:38,566 And if you're still willing to give us another chance... 519 00:20:40,668 --> 00:20:41,944 I want to. 520 00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:43,852 Really? 521 00:20:44,296 --> 00:20:46,166 Really. (Chuckles) 522 00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:49,895 Happy almost-Presidents' Day. 523 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,850 Mr. Shay? 524 00:21:05,906 --> 00:21:08,340 In tango, one doesn't ask. 525 00:21:08,384 --> 00:21:09,760 One takes. 526 00:21:09,998 --> 00:21:11,769 * 527 00:21:12,207 --> 00:21:14,009 (gasps) 528 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,653 But what about mi madre? 529 00:21:15,773 --> 00:21:17,656 Screw Gam Gam. 530 00:21:17,856 --> 00:21:19,621 I told her she can stick her rib eye 531 00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:21,767 where the sun don't shine. 532 00:21:22,774 --> 00:21:24,032 Well, not literally, of course. 533 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,259 I told her good night and that I'd miss her, 534 00:21:26,264 --> 00:21:28,817 and to have a safe trip, and let us know she get in ok. 535 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,850 But she knew what I meant. 536 00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:44,804 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -