1 00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:03,603 (Tessa) At Chatswin High, most guys phoned it in, 2 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,356 giving their g.F.S the usual valentine's day crap. 3 00:00:06,357 --> 00:00:08,857 (Amplified voice) Listen... But for one lonely soul who lost his true love... 4 00:00:08,859 --> 00:00:12,913 ♪ When 5 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,948 ♪ I 6 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:19,385 ♪ had you 7 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:26,759 ♪ I treated you bad 8 00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:30,996 ♪ don't you know I sit around ♪ 9 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:35,434 ♪ with my head hangin' down 10 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,770 ♪ and I wonder 11 00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,838 ♪ who's 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,540 (feedback whines) Aah! 13 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,808 (Thud) 14 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,710 If you think exploiting my love for smokey Robinson 15 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,045 and life-sized doll-making 16 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,679 is gonna make me forget what you did? You're... 17 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,848 Lisa, you think I wanted your mom to see me naked? 18 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,250 It was an accident! 19 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,252 Baby, can't you see the tracks of my tears? 20 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,320 I'm--I'm prepared to sing that one, too! 21 00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:58,424 Actually, I don't--I don't have that sheet music. 22 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:05,130 (alih jey) ♪ last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 23 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:08,500 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 24 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,502 Even though it's a cheesy commercial holiday, 25 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,837 i had to admit, 26 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,540 having my own doting valentine felt pretty good. 27 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,608 I see you got my card. 28 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,310 I'm still awaiting your reply. 29 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,878 Mm... 30 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:20,879 "Y." 31 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,214 "Y"? "Y"! 32 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,184 I knew she'd say "y"! She said "y"! 33 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,251 Here's the thing. (Clears throat) 34 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,787 Um, I overheard you talking about going 35 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,057 to Cody bufford's valentines... rager? 36 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,359 Rager. Rager! 37 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,795 Yeah. Cody's mom has super low self-esteem 38 00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,597 and said she's buy us a keg of beer 39 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,566 if we all wear these t-shirts. 40 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,501 Uh... Wouldn't it be more romantic 41 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,903 to spend valentine's day just the two of us? 42 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,206 Just the two of us? 43 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,640 Doing what? 44 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,809 Well, I'm glad you asked. 45 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,579 There's a movie playing at this art house theater, 46 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,013 and I've been dying to see it. 47 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,715 Tonight is the last night. 48 00:01:56,717 --> 00:02:00,152 Don't those art house movies have a lot of, like, dialogue? 49 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,621 Well, according to npr, this one is thrilling. 50 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,923 They gave it two quills up. 51 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,658 It's called "sea of anguish." 52 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,193 Oh, is it based on a water park ride? 53 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,361 I tend to really respond 54 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,729 to movies based on water park rides. 55 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:11,864 No, I think it's less of a ride 56 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,967 and more of a moody, elliptical fever dream. 57 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,535 (Mouths words) 58 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,304 But they have really good caramel corn. 59 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:22,007 Or gummi bears? 60 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,876 Caramel corn and gummi bears? 61 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:27,646 Yeah? 62 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,647 Yeah. Cool. 63 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,848 (Class bell rings) Okay. 64 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,216 Ryan and I weren't the only ones 65 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,218 with big plans for valentine's day. 66 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,921 George was preparing to sweep Dallas off her feet. Wow. 67 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,223 Okay. Hi. Uh, George Altman. 68 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:39,691 I just wanted to confirm my reservation 69 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,094 for the valentine's dinner tonight. 70 00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:43,529 Yes. Mr. Altman. 71 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,597 You're one of the lucky few to have secured a spot. 72 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,566 Okay. Oh, and I see you opted 73 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,402 for the 18-course premium package. 74 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,770 Well, yeah. Actually, 75 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,338 it's my first valentine's with my girlfriend, 76 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,041 so I kind of wanna make it special. 77 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,709 Oh, it will be. 78 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,578 Somehow, we convinced chef julio proust 79 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:04,149 to grace us with his muscular, innovative cooking. (Pig squealing) 80 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,784 As a valentine's special, 81 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,319 he's prepared a first course 82 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,122 of paper-thin slices of pig's heart 83 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,824 drizzled in a sauce of its own blood. 84 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,960 Wow. 85 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:15,961 Yummers. 86 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,162 (Squeals) 87 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,164 Oh. 88 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:22,100 Mommy? No! No! No! 89 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,102 Mommy, was that you? 90 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:28,640 Uh, Dalia, it is me, but it isn't me. 91 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,175 It's too hard to explain. 92 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:33,445 Mommy, you're scaring me. Why are you hiding? 93 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,215 Okay. Well, have you ever heard of blowtox? 94 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:39,952 A new injectable derived from the deadly japanese blowfish? 95 00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:41,053 No. 96 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,991 How bad is it? 97 00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,660 Tell me I don't need to cancel my date with George tonight. 98 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,195 Remember that guy in Florida 99 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,898 who got his entire face eaten off by an alligator 100 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,900 and then had reconstructive surgery, 101 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,401 and then when the picture surfaced, 102 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,938 everyone was like "wait... This is after the surgery? 103 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,874 What the hell did he look like before the surgery?" 104 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,243 Yeah? 105 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:06,511 Well, if that guy had a baby with the elephant man, 106 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,213 and that baby got really old, 107 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:11,083 and then something on that baby got infected, 108 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,085 that would be you. 109 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:14,086 Ugh. 110 00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:18,390 Well, thanks for your honesty. 111 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,558 Ugh. 112 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,760 Mommy, you're really disgusting. 113 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,795 (Door squeaks) Hello, sweetheart. 114 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,931 Mother. You're a little early. 115 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,599 And by a little, I mean a whole day. 116 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,434 Oh, Sheila. You and your schedules. 117 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,435 It's so confining. 118 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,437 I changed my mind. Well-- 119 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,672 how 'bout that? 120 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,173 You should try it sometime. 121 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,576 Is that my gam gam? 122 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,312 Oh, there's my boy. 123 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,380 Give me some lovin'. 124 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,482 Oh, look at you. You're so skinny. 125 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,417 Well... I gotta put my arms around you. 126 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,086 Oh! He's all ribs, like a greyhound. 127 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,389 Well, I do play cardio ping-pong once a week 128 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:53,091 with the boys down at the club. Honey, don't worry. 129 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,495 Tonight, you are gonna feast like the king that you are. 130 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,796 Oh, no, no, mother. 131 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:58,964 I have a whole valentine's menu planned. 132 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,866 I am making chicken breasts... Ooh. 133 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,401 Generously seasoned with paprika. Mmm. 134 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,871 Oh, Fred, you can have those skinny breasts anytime. 135 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:10,876 How does a thick, juicy rib eye sound? 136 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:13,345 (Laughs) The woman brings meat across state lines. 137 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,247 How can you not love that? 138 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:17,616 You married the wrong woman, Fred shay. (Gasps) 139 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,152 (Fred laughs) 140 00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:24,790 She just loves waltzing into my home 141 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,092 in those senior stilettos, 142 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:30,062 acting like she showed up a day early by accident. 143 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,163 That was no accident. 144 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,865 She wants to ruin my valentine's day. 145 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,769 And watching your father lap up the attention-- 146 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,538 got to admit, big turnoff. 147 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,540 Not the least bit aroused. 148 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,542 Not gonna be no nookie tonight for Fred. 149 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,210 Okay, mother, please? 150 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,312 You'll notice I am indulging not in chocolate, 151 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,481 but in a lengthy biography of George Washington, 152 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,017 because the only february holiday I celebrate 153 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,418 is presidents' day. 154 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,554 (Thud) (Malik) Fair maiden! 155 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,390 Forsooth I do beg your forbearance! 156 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,559 Whilst thou lend a gentle ear? 157 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,161 ♪ With a hey nonny nonny and a hey nonny hey ♪ 158 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,830 ♪ and a hey nonny nonny and a... ♪ 159 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,531 If he thinks that he can exploit 160 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,934 my fondness of 16th-century folklore, 161 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,302 he's got another think coming. 162 00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:11,737 I told you the intro was too long. 163 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:13,071 No, no. You need the "hey nonny nonnys." 164 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,873 They--they set the mood. 165 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:19,578 Lisa, that little cocoa puff out there is cuckoo for you. 166 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,380 Maybe you should at least hear him out. 167 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,548 Don't you have anything better to do on valentine's day 168 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,650 than try to control my life? 169 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,985 As a matter of fact, I do. 170 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,388 Tonight, your father and I are going to be learning... 171 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,856 To tango. 172 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,525 The Alfred himmelsbock way. 173 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,227 Adios. 174 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:40,265 I hope you are ready to suck the marrow out of life, 175 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,267 and I mean that quite literally. 176 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,403 I hear this chef works a lot with marrow. 177 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:45,404 Oh... 178 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,539 I'm afraid I'm in no position 179 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,608 to suck anything tonight, George. 180 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,309 What? What-- what's going on? 181 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,377 It's Dalia. 182 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,979 She's under the weather. 183 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,481 Are you sure? Dalia's pretty tough. 184 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,549 And it's valentine's day. 185 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,684 Oh, but she's projectile vomiting. 186 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,586 I think I saw a crucifix in there. 187 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,355 She's either sick or possessed. 188 00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,390 Either way, I'm in for the night. 189 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:06,825 Okay, say no more. 190 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:10,195 I don't care how expensive or non-refundable that meal is, 191 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,196 your child comes first. 192 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,264 I'll make it up to you, 193 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,499 I promise. (Beeps) 194 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,968 Bailed on v-day? 195 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,704 Yeah. Hey... 196 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,339 You don't feel like sharing 18 courses 197 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:24,176 of award-winning cuisine with me? 198 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:27,379 Well, I would, but have a hot date. 199 00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,380 Oh. 200 00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:32,651 (Tango music playing) 201 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,718 Ha! 202 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:35,954 Ha! 203 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,355 You'll never believe it. 204 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,891 Turns out gam gam has been taking tango lessons 205 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,159 at the senior center. 206 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,094 Except that none of those old crones 207 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,364 can move like Alfredo can. (Laughs) 208 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:49,234 He's a natural. 209 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,902 What about our tapes? 210 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,838 You're not upset, are you? 211 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,272 Initially, she was. 212 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,675 But then, in that very moment, 213 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,310 Sheila realized what Lisa must have felt 214 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,512 every time her mother made Malik a sandwich, 215 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,948 gave him a pound, locked it and exploded it, 216 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:06,151 or made some poorly drawn reference to a wayans. 217 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,620 Just like gam gam, Sheila had been cutting in, 218 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,755 and she shouldn't have been. 219 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,257 (Projector clicking) (Woman on screen) Mother. 220 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,259 Lover. Lover. 221 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,594 Mother. 222 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,095 (Tessa) So that movie i was so excited about 223 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,030 turned out to be a total drag. 224 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:22,267 I mean, there wasn't enough caramel corn in the world. 225 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:24,035 And if it was bad for me, 226 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:28,106 i could only imagine how much Ryan was suffering. 227 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,575 (Whispers) Hey. You doing okay? 228 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,878 (Woman on screen) Mother. Lover. 229 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:33,879 Lover. 230 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,780 (Whispers) Not really. 231 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,816 Mother. Lover. 232 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,951 Lover. It's just so... 233 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,087 (Tessa) Confusing? Pretentious? Terrible? 234 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,421 So... 235 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,757 There are lots of things i thought he would say. 236 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,526 But not one of them was... 237 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,695 (Crying) Beautiful. 238 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,931 It's so beautiful. 239 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,568 (Candy and popcorn rattling) 240 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,069 (Indistinct conversations) 241 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,137 Oh, hey, buddy. 242 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,239 Okay, so listen, here's the thing-- 243 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:04,442 due to some unforeseen stuff, 244 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,778 I'm gonna need my meal to go. 245 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:07,779 To go? 246 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,481 Yeah. I know there's no refund, 247 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,517 so if you could just, you know, wrap it up for me. 248 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,185 Wrap it up? 249 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,288 Are you just gonna keep repeating what I say, or... 250 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,522 Sir. What? 251 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:21,226 Chef julio's 18-course menu isn't a meal. 252 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,395 It's an experience. 253 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,597 Like scaling an icy glacier 254 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,532 or swimming with an endangered sea turtle. 255 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:30,602 Now how on earth would I wrap that up... 256 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,870 To go? 257 00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,972 In 18 little bags? 258 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:34,973 (Clacks) 259 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,741 (Laughter) 260 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,578 Okay, listen, I am not a man who's accustomed 261 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,180 to paying $600 for anything I can't drive around in, 262 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,616 so I'm having trouble just walking away from this. 263 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,452 And in such a comfortable shoe. 264 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,753 Ha ha. 265 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,255 You know what? 266 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,091 On second thought, I guess I'm eating for two. 267 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,092 (Laughs) 268 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,093 (Slaps) 269 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,896 If you don't mind. 270 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,932 I had no idea that his ghost was gonna come back 271 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,668 for 45 minutes as an eel. 272 00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,003 Was that an eel? 273 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,173 Wait. You didn't love the movie? 274 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,874 I didn't love that movie. 275 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,644 I didn't like that movie, even a little bit. 276 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:16,448 I thought it was terrible. 277 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,949 I'm sorry I suggested it. 278 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,352 How can you say that? It changed my life. 279 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:21,987 It... 280 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,888 There was a 5-minute part 281 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,757 that was nothing but the little boy 282 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,692 staring at a dead fish. 283 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:30,629 That dead fish was the boy's mother. 284 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,663 (Laughs) How do you know that? 285 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,798 How do you not know that? 286 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,768 Valentine's day was slipping through our fingers. 287 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,170 Unless Ryan and I could find some common ground. 288 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,338 Hey, how do you... 289 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,073 How do you feel about stopping by Cody's? 290 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,343 I could--I could really use a rager right now. 291 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:50,715 Come on. We can... Tell his mom how sexy she is. 292 00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,717 You go ahead. 293 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,788 I feel like walking the earth. 294 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,567 (Siren wailing in distance) 295 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,314 It's been a while, Mrs. shay. 296 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,983 Indeed it has. 297 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:28,720 Indeed it has. 298 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,093 (Rattling) 299 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,461 You're amazing, Mrs. shay. 300 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,431 Easy, Malik. Take it easy. 301 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,269 (Mouth full) I missed your chicken salad so much. 302 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,805 I've missed giving it to you. 303 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:50,942 There's only one thing I've missed more than this. 304 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,844 It's Lisa. 305 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,779 I know. 306 00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:01,786 And I know what you need to do to get her back. 307 00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,188 Sheila and Malik weren't the only ones 308 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,823 avoiding being seen. 309 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,458 Dallas was spending her valentine's day 310 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,393 hiding in the shadows. 311 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,494 (Door closes) (Tessa) Hello? 312 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:12,597 Dallas? Tessa, is that you? 313 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:15,567 It's really dark in here. Do you mind if I-- 314 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,469 freeze! 315 00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,337 I'm just not in the mood for direct lighting. 316 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:22,107 Okay. I was on a date with Ryan tonight. 317 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:26,811 And the whole thing was my idea, 318 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,947 but I realized halfway through I didn't like it, 319 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,715 and he really liked it, 320 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:35,120 and he got all mad at me because I wasn't into it. 321 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,188 If we're talkin' about what I think we're talkin' about, 322 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,958 if they can't get you there even once, 323 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,293 their whole world comes crashing down. 324 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,462 And it's like, we understand. 325 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,930 I'm talking about a movie. 326 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,800 Oh. Then I don't know what his problem is. 327 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,102 Just because we didn't have the same exact experience, 328 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,706 he got mad and he walked away. 329 00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:57,909 And now I'm alone on valentine's day. 330 00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:01,546 Y'all are discovering you have differences. 331 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,114 That doesn't mean it's the end. 332 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,116 It means it's a beginning. 333 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,284 It does? 334 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,952 Yes. You're learning how to navigate 335 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:11,356 through the lumps and the bumps and the flaky parts, 336 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,591 and the... swollen sections, 337 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:17,061 filled with fluids, just beggin' to be lanced. 338 00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,263 Okay. Now you're scaring me. 339 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:22,033 What I'm trying to say is, go find your man. 340 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,969 I will if you will. 341 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,805 (Sighs) You know what? You're right. 342 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,206 George would love me 343 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,874 whether I looked like charlize theron 344 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,877 or charlize theron in "monster." 345 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,045 Right? (Clicks) 346 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:40,485 And you tried icing it? 347 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,687 (Laughs) Whoo. That was a workout. 348 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:43,688 I'll tell you, Fred shay, 349 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,690 you have the tango touch. 350 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,993 (Laughs) 351 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,995 Well. What have we here? 352 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,498 In keeping with the spanish theme of our evening, 353 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:57,135 I have made some mini churros with chocolate sauce. 354 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,204 Mrs. shay. What decadence. 355 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,139 Keep it in your pants, Fred. They're oven-baked. 356 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,708 Though I did use a heavy hand on the cinnamon shaker. 357 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,043 So... Oh. Well. Ow! 358 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,444 Oh. 359 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,479 I think all that abrazo -ing is causing me to cramp up. 360 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:12,083 Oh, sorry, honey. Excuse me. Allow me. 361 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,818 Oh! Boy. Is it too deep? 362 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,987 Nope. You get in there, gam gam. 363 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,456 Oh, you dig as deep as you dare. 364 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,859 Oh, that's the stuff. (Doorbell rings) 365 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,360 Oh. 366 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,529 Aah. 367 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,630 Ooh. 368 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,399 Malik. What a surprise. 369 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,336 (Fred groaning) Oh. 370 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:34,672 Oh... oh, yes. How's that feel? 371 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,574 Sheila wasn't the only one losing her appetite. 372 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,409 Aah... 373 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,677 For your 15th course, 374 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,981 we present a pork belly and veal tongue hash, 375 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,116 finished with shards of micro-beak 376 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,785 in a freshly lambed foam. Lambed? 377 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,420 Did you... (Laughs) 378 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,389 It's a verb? Lambed? "To lamb"? 379 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,824 Who lambed it? 380 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:53,958 (Julio) I did. 381 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,693 I lambed it this morning. 382 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,362 (Clacks) 383 00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:01,432 It was an honor to watch you lamb it. 384 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,801 You're very lucky. 385 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,703 (Slurring) You're very lucky. 386 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:12,410 Guys, my girl used to look at me just like that. 387 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,046 Made me feel like number one. Right? 388 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,814 It feels good. 389 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:19,250 Yeah, but tonight, she totally... (Clears throat) 390 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,019 Bailed on me, 391 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,288 so here I am feeling like number two... 392 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,457 (Laughs) 393 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:30,528 Right? Did you get it? Number two? 394 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,529 We get it. 395 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,830 Yeah. (Laughs) 396 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:36,501 Okay. Don't mind me. I'm just drunk and lonely. 397 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,069 George. 398 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,905 (Mouth full) Hey! That's her. That's my girlfriend. 399 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,241 The most beautiful girl in the world. Shh. Shh. 400 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,176 Underneath the bag. 401 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,145 George. George, come here. 402 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,782 (Mouth full) Hey. 403 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,951 Hey, I didn't wanna leave you here all alone. 404 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,019 But let's just slip out without making a scene. 405 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,055 Okay. Hey, take a good look, folks! 406 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,423 But hands off! 407 00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,326 This sweet gal is mine! 408 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,528 (Laughs) Come on. 409 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:07,799 This better be good, mother. 410 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:08,967 I just got to the valley forge section, 411 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,902 and there is a riveting passage about gangrene. 412 00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:12,537 Hey, Lisa. 413 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,273 Mother, would you please show this gentleman to the door 414 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,474 and tell him that I do not wish to be disturbed again? 415 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,476 Young lady, I think you have shown 416 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,979 quite enough attitude today. 417 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,447 Now if you can't be polite to Malik, 418 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,016 then I am gonna take away your library privileges. 419 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,351 You know what, Mrs. shay? 420 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,086 Maybe you should back off. 421 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,520 Excuse me? 422 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,089 I'm sick of hearing the way you talk to Lisa. 423 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,292 She doesn't deserve that tone. Nobody does. 424 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,227 I hardly think it is your place 425 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,262 to tell me how to talk to my own daughter. 426 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,664 You know what? That's where you're wrong. 427 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,065 You're the one who's always putting your nose 428 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,934 where it doesn't belong, like in our relationship. 429 00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,635 You know what else? 430 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,605 Your "chicken salad"? Yeah, it ain't all that, mama. 431 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:48,806 Well, if that is how you feel, 432 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,875 then I agree with Lisa. You'd better go. 433 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:54,512 You are no longer welcome in my home, Mr. lafrique. 434 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,284 (Door squeaks) 435 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,588 (Door squeaks) 436 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,460 (Indistinct conversations) 437 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,862 Hey. 438 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,197 I thought you were out walking the earth. 439 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,933 I came looking for you. 440 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,202 It is valentine's day. 441 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,071 ♪ 442 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,706 This couch is wet. 443 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,342 That's 'cause Cody's mom threw up on it a few minutes ago. 444 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,646 I'm sorry I walked out on you. 445 00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,715 If that movie taught me anything, 446 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,917 it's that we have to forgive those in the darkness 447 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,086 who don't yet see the light. 448 00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,661 Yeah. 449 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:47,765 And... I know, in a surprise turn of events, 450 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,902 that you liked that movie and I didn't. 451 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:54,105 But maybe that's what makes us a cool couple. 452 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,441 We're unpredictable. 453 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,542 Yeah. 454 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,577 And we're both super good looking. 455 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,912 (Exhales) 456 00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:06,984 Happy valentine's day. 457 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,687 Happy valentine's day. 458 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,824 Okay. So what was that part 459 00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:17,361 where the masked guy is bowing to the horse statue about? 460 00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,362 That was about war. 461 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,731 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 462 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,767 What about the monkey running through the art museum? 463 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,469 That was about freedom. 464 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:28,940 Whoa. Who knew? 465 00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:32,844 Oh, man. 466 00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:35,213 I think I exceeded the daily allowance 467 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,782 of animal colon tonight. 468 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,450 You know what? I know I did. 469 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,152 Okay. Easy does it. Almost there. 470 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,020 Dallas, you know I mean this 471 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,356 in the most respectful way possible, 472 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,259 but you're kind of reminding me of a serial killer right now. 473 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,161 You gotta show me what's under the bag. 474 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,930 I will. I just wanna make sure you don't freak out first. 475 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,133 I ate digestive tract tonight, okay? 476 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,034 Nothing's gonna make me freak out. 477 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,636 Just tell me what's going on. 478 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,739 Okay. I had a... Procedure 479 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,142 that went a bit awry. 480 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,043 How awry? 481 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,212 Uh... 482 00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,280 Okay. 483 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:14,886 Wow. 484 00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:18,089 What did-- 485 00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:19,991 okay. 486 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,660 You know... 487 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,928 Ooh, wow. 488 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,131 It's bad, isn't it? It's really bad. 489 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,466 You--you don't have to change yourself. 490 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,767 Anything about yourself. 491 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,703 You're--to me, you're so sexy, and--and... 492 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:36,007 (Stomach groans) 493 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,341 (Stomach gurgles) 494 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,710 And beautiful, and... (Burps) 495 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:40,711 (Stomach groans) 496 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,713 (Burps) Oh, God. 497 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,615 George? Mm-hmm. 498 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,385 You were just tellin' me that I'm sexy and beautiful. 499 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,519 I-I was and I will, 500 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,821 just... (Gurgling continues) 501 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,290 Oh, God, this isn't about you, I swear. 502 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:55,927 It's all the intestines in my... intestines. 503 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:56,994 (Groaning) 504 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,296 Excuse me. 505 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,433 Are you sure it's not me? 506 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,502 Love, thankfully, is resilient. 507 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,636 It can continue to thrive 508 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,705 in the most unlikely circumstances. 509 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,041 Malik? 510 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,142 Hey. 511 00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,511 Um... 512 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:17,048 Thanks for standing up to my mother. 513 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:20,685 It felt really good to have you on my side. 514 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:26,791 And if you're still willing to give us another chance... 515 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,059 I want to. 516 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,461 Really? 517 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,564 Really. (Chuckles) 518 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,133 Happy almost-presidents' day. 519 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,149 Mr. shay? 520 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,452 In tango, one doesn't ask. 521 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,354 One takes. 522 00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:58,089 ♪ 523 00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,725 (Gasps) 524 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:01,959 But what about mi madre? 525 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,894 Screw gam gam. 526 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,696 I told her she can stick her rib eye 527 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,732 where the sun don't shine. 528 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,301 Well, not literally, of course. 529 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,570 I told her good night and that I'd miss her 530 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:13,571 and have a safe trip, 531 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,839 and let us know she got in okay. 532 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:17,408 But she knew what I meant. 533 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,743 ♪ 534 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,678 (Gasps) 535 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,580 (Exhales) 536 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:22,613 (Kisses) (Gasps)