1
00:00:02,541 --> 00:00:04,043
You'll never believe
what happened to me
2
00:00:04,076 --> 00:00:05,214
at work today.
- Hmm?
3
00:00:05,248 --> 00:00:08,457
This old guy was choking on
his food, and I saved his life.
4
00:00:08,513 --> 00:00:09,962
You're kidding.
Did you Heimlich him?
5
00:00:09,984 --> 00:00:12,364
No. I said, "Oh, my God,
I think that old guy's choking,"
6
00:00:12,389 --> 00:00:14,389
and then one of the busboys
Heimlich'ed him.
7
00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:18,041
You're a hero.
8
00:00:18,974 --> 00:00:21,701
Yeah, that was
the point of the story.
9
00:00:22,771 --> 00:00:25,541
Oh, yeah, speaking of work, do you
know if you have Thursday night off?
10
00:00:25,581 --> 00:00:27,223
Um, I think so. Why?
11
00:00:27,301 --> 00:00:29,064
What do you mean, why?
It's Valentine's Day.
12
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,135
Oh, right.
13
00:00:30,178 --> 00:00:31,734
Yeah, we can do something.
14
00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:34,163
You could be
a little more into it.
15
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,898
No, I'm into it, I'm into it.
16
00:00:35,916 --> 00:00:37,944
Just, there's so much pressure
to make the night special,
17
00:00:37,963 --> 00:00:39,419
and it never works out.
18
00:00:39,458 --> 00:00:41,417
Okay, well, this time
it's going to be different.
19
00:00:41,435 --> 00:00:44,125
Because I am
like a romance ninja.
20
00:00:45,356 --> 00:00:47,071
You don't see it coming,
and then bam!
21
00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:50,295
Romance, watch out, hearts,
kisses, love, ooh-ya!
22
00:00:51,744 --> 00:00:53,311
You know,
sometimes I think I've made you
23
00:00:53,339 --> 00:00:56,105
so much cooler than you used to be,
and then you go and do that.
24
00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:00,049
So, in conclusion,
25
00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:02,771
I believe the painful
sensation felt
26
00:01:02,792 --> 00:01:05,192
after passing a meal
of spicy chilies
27
00:01:05,206 --> 00:01:09,603
is proof that the rectum does
possess the sense of taste.
28
00:01:14,893 --> 00:01:16,894
I concur, but you
changed the subject.
29
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,542
What are we doing
for Valentine's Day?
30
00:01:20,111 --> 00:01:22,494
Oh, you caught that, did you?
31
00:01:23,966 --> 00:01:27,581
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
32
00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:31,220
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
33
00:01:31,432 --> 00:01:32,712
♪ The Earth began to cool
34
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:35,684
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
35
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,603
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
36
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,481
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
37
00:01:40,508 --> 00:01:42,520
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
38
00:01:42,526 --> 00:01:43,851
♪ Bang! ♪
39
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,380
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x16 ♪
The Tangible Affection Proof
Original Air Date on February 14, 2013
40
00:01:46,418 --> 00:01:48,918
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
41
00:01:49,024 --> 00:01:50,741
(quietly):
Okay.
42
00:01:51,162 --> 00:01:52,196
Okay.
43
00:01:54,032 --> 00:01:55,282
Okay.
44
00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:57,757
Okay.
45
00:01:58,254 --> 00:02:00,188
Okay!
46
00:02:03,453 --> 00:02:04,603
Okay.
47
00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:07,248
(sighs)
48
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,913
Everything okay?
49
00:02:12,704 --> 00:02:13,978
Bernie's a little cranky
50
00:02:13,997 --> 00:02:16,328
since she's been working,
like, 17 hours a day.
51
00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:18,056
And I've got a lot on my plate,
too, because I've been
52
00:02:18,062 --> 00:02:20,404
busting my tail
playing Assassin's Creed.
53
00:02:21,635 --> 00:02:24,243
Hey, Stuart, you got anything
going on for Valentine's Day?
54
00:02:24,305 --> 00:02:25,199
Not really.
55
00:02:25,217 --> 00:02:27,801
Other than hiding all
the sharp objects around here
56
00:02:27,825 --> 00:02:30,355
and white-knuckling it
till morning.
57
00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:32,209
What do you got going on?
58
00:02:32,225 --> 00:02:33,814
Oh, well, I was going
to spend the night
59
00:02:33,839 --> 00:02:35,889
with my special little lady,
but, uh,
60
00:02:35,965 --> 00:02:39,203
she got worms, and then I
had to take her to the vet.
61
00:02:42,488 --> 00:02:44,137
There must be something
we can do.
62
00:02:44,209 --> 00:02:47,303
Well, uh, how about you keep
the store open late,
63
00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:50,321
and we throw a party for all the
people who don't have dates?
64
00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,699
That actually sounds
kind of nice.
65
00:02:52,728 --> 00:02:54,309
Yeah, the theme will be
that the greatest love
66
00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:57,884
a man can have
is the love he has with himself.
67
00:03:00,372 --> 00:03:01,729
That's good.
68
00:03:01,754 --> 00:03:05,840
Or maybe something a little less
"hand in the pants."
69
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:09,914
Oh, Alex, excellent.
70
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:12,306
I have a research problem
71
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,186
that I believe
you can help with.
72
00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:16,289
Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you.
73
00:03:16,382 --> 00:03:19,945
I've been waiting for an opportunity
to contribute to your scientific work.
74
00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:23,841
Oh, no, no.
That's not going to happen, no.
75
00:03:24,269 --> 00:03:28,514
What I need you to do
is find a Valentine's gift
76
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,165
for my girlfriend.
77
00:03:31,368 --> 00:03:33,368
You realize I passed up
an opportunity
78
00:03:33,395 --> 00:03:35,958
to work at Fermilab
to take this job with you.
79
00:03:36,626 --> 00:03:39,309
Well, I guess those chaps
will have to have
80
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:41,023
someone else buy
their girlfriends presents.
81
00:03:41,035 --> 00:03:43,817
Now, here is...
82
00:03:44,222 --> 00:03:45,494
Let's see.
83
00:03:45,531 --> 00:03:47,040
This is...
84
00:03:50,692 --> 00:03:52,826
This is about $2,000.
85
00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:58,308
Um, I think she likes monkeys
and the color gray.
86
00:04:04,448 --> 00:04:06,958
Contribute to my work.
(laughs)
87
00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:12,911
Ah, kids say
the darnedest things.
88
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:17,350
- Hey, you coming to lunch?
- Yeah, one second.
89
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,420
- Come here. I want to show you something.
- What you looking at?
90
00:04:19,445 --> 00:04:21,496
Well, I was trying
to come up with something
91
00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:25,881
really romantic to give Bernadette
for Valentine's Day since she's been
92
00:04:25,906 --> 00:04:28,205
such a pain in the ass.
93
00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:32,782
You can't find a
card that says that?
94
00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:36,229
Check it out. I used the
atomic force microscope
95
00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:39,771
in the material science lab
and wrote our initials
96
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,863
in a heart 1/1,000
the size of a grain of sand.
97
00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:46,253
(laughing):
Oh, that's cool.
98
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:50,287
A micro-valentine
for a microbiologist.
99
00:04:51,195 --> 00:04:53,946
From her micro-husband.
100
00:04:57,367 --> 00:04:58,505
That is amazing.
101
00:04:58,529 --> 00:04:59,910
How long did this take you?
102
00:04:59,943 --> 00:05:03,199
Mmm, about 12 hours.
I pulled an all-nighter.
103
00:05:03,217 --> 00:05:04,424
Oh, wow.
104
00:05:04,448 --> 00:05:08,223
Yeah, I know, it really took a bite
out of my video game time.
105
00:05:09,104 --> 00:05:10,624
What are you and Penny doing?
106
00:05:10,659 --> 00:05:13,605
Oh, I'm going to take her to
a nice restaurant for dinner.
107
00:05:13,657 --> 00:05:16,832
Oh, that's not bad,
but as far as romance goes,
108
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:19,374
I think my gift hits it
right out of...
109
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:26,112
- Want to come to dinner with us?
- Yes, please.
110
00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:29,665
Okay.
111
00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:31,645
Amy will be here shortly,
112
00:05:31,677 --> 00:05:35,267
expecting the perfect
Valentine's gift, so...
113
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:36,255
you're up kid.
114
00:05:36,283 --> 00:05:38,227
Dazzle me. Go.
115
00:05:39,074 --> 00:05:41,451
Okay, I think I have
some really great choices.
116
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:44,072
I went on Amy's Facebook page
and read up on her interests.
117
00:05:44,247 --> 00:05:47,755
Now, see, I never would have
thought to do that.
118
00:05:48,646 --> 00:05:51,265
Clearly, I made a good choice
farming this out to you.
119
00:05:51,277 --> 00:05:53,759
But I am telling you,
Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot.
120
00:05:53,802 --> 00:05:55,396
Anyway,
121
00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:57,196
my socks are on.
122
00:05:57,213 --> 00:05:58,763
Let's knock them off.
123
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:05,999
Well, um, I know she loves
playing the harp,
124
00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:10,355
so I found this
beautiful music box
125
00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:12,600
that plays one
of her favorite songs.
126
00:06:15,045 --> 00:06:17,447
Now, Amy already
has a real harp.
127
00:06:18,452 --> 00:06:20,720
And it can play any song.
128
00:06:21,939 --> 00:06:23,958
What are you trying
to pull here?
129
00:06:25,146 --> 00:06:27,311
- No, I just thought it would be...
- Next.
130
00:06:29,317 --> 00:06:30,392
Okay.
131
00:06:30,465 --> 00:06:32,495
Um, I know she's a fan
of The Canterbury Tales,
132
00:06:32,514 --> 00:06:35,557
- Mmm.
- so I found...
133
00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:37,475
this cool map
134
00:06:37,521 --> 00:06:39,892
that illustrates the character's
journey through England.
135
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,091
I thought we could put it
in a really nice frame.
136
00:06:43,085 --> 00:06:46,669
But she's got Google Maps
on her phone.
137
00:06:49,832 --> 00:06:51,916
I don't know
how to respond to that.
138
00:06:53,227 --> 00:06:55,312
Well, I hope it's
with a third good option,
139
00:06:55,326 --> 00:06:57,993
because these first two... blah.
140
00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:01,508
Okay.
141
00:07:01,534 --> 00:07:05,044
Well, uh, luckily,
I saved the best for last.
142
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:06,507
Since Amy's a neuroscientist,
143
00:07:06,525 --> 00:07:08,445
I did some research
and found out
144
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,198
that Santiago Ramón y Cajal,
145
00:07:10,287 --> 00:07:12,287
the father
of modern neuroscience,
146
00:07:12,378 --> 00:07:15,084
did lots of hand drawings
of brain cells.
147
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,700
And I managed to find
148
00:07:17,786 --> 00:07:20,725
this signed print.
149
00:07:21,035 --> 00:07:22,579
Wow.
150
00:07:23,106 --> 00:07:25,581
Oh, this is truly remarkable.
151
00:07:25,891 --> 00:07:26,823
Thank you.
152
00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:28,501
I think I'll keep it for myself.
153
00:07:32,714 --> 00:07:35,414
- What about your girlfriend?
- It's too late. I call dibs.
154
00:07:40,495 --> 00:07:42,271
This place is really beautiful.
155
00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:44,548
Wah... romance ninja.
156
00:07:44,588 --> 00:07:46,182
(laughing)
157
00:07:47,629 --> 00:07:48,629
Hey.
158
00:07:48,662 --> 00:07:50,362
Sorry we're late.
159
00:07:50,452 --> 00:07:51,835
No problem.
We just sat down.
160
00:07:51,856 --> 00:07:53,475
Mmm, would you like some wine?
161
00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:54,843
Yeah, fill her up.
162
00:07:57,361 --> 00:07:59,362
I'll tell you when to stop.
163
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,697
Is everything okay?
164
00:08:02,769 --> 00:08:04,502
Terrific.
Couldn't be better.
165
00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,323
Oh, bite me.
166
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,691
Look, we can still
have a nice night.
167
00:08:09,716 --> 00:08:10,929
Just tell me where it is.
168
00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,720
Maybe if you did what you said
you were going to do, I'd tell you.
169
00:08:14,204 --> 00:08:15,692
Uh, where what is?
170
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,172
She hid my Xbox
like I'm a child.
171
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:21,575
Yeah, and my mom got me
that for my birthday,
172
00:08:21,591 --> 00:08:23,806
so if you don't give
it back, I'm telling.
173
00:08:25,874 --> 00:08:27,491
I've been working
late every night.
174
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:30,419
All I asked was that he clean the
apartment and do one load of laundry.
175
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:31,600
But did he do it? No.
176
00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:33,653
He just kept on
playing that stupid game.
177
00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:35,053
You like pushing
buttons so much,
178
00:08:35,075 --> 00:08:37,422
try pushing them
on the washing machine.
179
00:08:39,341 --> 00:08:40,874
I said I'm sorry.
180
00:08:40,892 --> 00:08:43,550
Sorry doesn't clean
my underpants, buddy.
181
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:47,647
I told you, turn
them inside out.
182
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,722
And I told you to bite me.
183
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:55,051
Trying to have
a magical night here, guys.
184
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,051
Oh, son of a bitch.
185
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,283
What?
186
00:09:01,731 --> 00:09:02,944
Nothing. Nothing.
187
00:09:03,005 --> 00:09:04,171
No, tell me.
188
00:09:04,472 --> 00:09:06,839
It's just this guy
I used to date.
189
00:09:07,175 --> 00:09:08,342
LEONARD:
Oh.
190
00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:10,307
Until he cheated on me
with my friend Gretchen,
191
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,983
who's here with him now.
192
00:09:12,364 --> 00:09:13,827
You're kidding.
193
00:09:13,841 --> 00:09:16,437
And it looks like she lost
a lot of weight, damn it.
194
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:21,239
I know it's not ideal, but
don't let them ruin our night.
195
00:09:21,276 --> 00:09:22,276
No, you're totally right.
196
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:24,440
She could be skinny
'cause she's dying.
197
00:09:25,572 --> 00:09:27,117
That's the spirit.
198
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,653
You know what, screw them.
199
00:09:28,686 --> 00:09:30,860
Our night is going to be
way more special than theirs.
200
00:09:30,891 --> 00:09:32,164
Yeah.
201
00:09:33,971 --> 00:09:35,138
Uh-oh.
202
00:09:37,025 --> 00:09:38,292
What?
203
00:09:38,719 --> 00:09:40,976
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
204
00:09:41,178 --> 00:09:42,493
Oh, my God, yes.
205
00:09:42,717 --> 00:09:44,147
Of course I'll marry you.
206
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,465
(applause)
207
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,300
Two can play this game.
208
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:49,257
- Penny...
- Get up.
209
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,839
All right.
210
00:09:56,571 --> 00:09:59,564
It's nice that all the people
who are lonely on Valentine's Day
211
00:09:59,577 --> 00:10:01,509
can come here tonight
and be together.
212
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:04,207
Yeah, I'm really
looking forward to it.
213
00:10:04,305 --> 00:10:06,968
In fact, there's no place
I would rather be than here.
214
00:10:07,058 --> 00:10:08,589
Except on a date with anybody.
215
00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:10,334
Literally anybody.
216
00:10:12,036 --> 00:10:14,421
You know, you and I have
so much fun hanging out.
217
00:10:14,441 --> 00:10:17,129
If you were a girl, all our
problems would be solved.
218
00:10:21,089 --> 00:10:22,177
What?
219
00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:23,555
Oh, yeah, think about it.
220
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,041
We'd hang out,
221
00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:27,450
we'd read comic books,
we'd see movies.
222
00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:30,098
It'd be like the best
relationship ever.
223
00:10:30,288 --> 00:10:31,763
That does sound nice.
224
00:10:31,782 --> 00:10:34,865
Then I'd take you home,
slip off your little black dress
225
00:10:34,991 --> 00:10:37,818
and just pile-drive you
into oblivion.
226
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,097
What?
227
00:10:44,388 --> 00:10:45,647
PENNY:
Oh, I can't believe
228
00:10:45,665 --> 00:10:48,044
he's going to marry the girl
he cheated on me with.
229
00:10:48,099 --> 00:10:49,437
Isn't it kind of nice?
230
00:10:49,456 --> 00:10:52,275
I mean, he was with the wrong person,
and now he found the right person.
231
00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:53,897
What, so I'm the wrong person?
232
00:10:53,915 --> 00:10:56,485
Maybe you want to be
with Gretchen, too.
233
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,749
They do look happy.
234
00:10:59,854 --> 00:11:01,053
Yeah, maybe tonight.
235
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,490
But a year from now, he'll be crawling
under the sink looking for his Xbox.
236
00:11:06,173 --> 00:11:07,726
Well, he will.
237
00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:10,967
You know what? Why don't we
just forget about them
238
00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:12,692
and enjoy our Valentine's Day?
239
00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:14,428
Yes, absolutely.
240
00:11:14,577 --> 00:11:15,793
(clears throat)
241
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,176
(Penny scoffs)
242
00:11:20,193 --> 00:11:23,243
Now they're doing that phony
link-arm-drink thingy.
243
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,889
I totally taught him that.
244
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:29,569
I thought we were
letting it go.
245
00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:31,761
We were; it's just...
it's not fair, okay?
246
00:11:31,779 --> 00:11:33,099
They're bad people.
247
00:11:33,113 --> 00:11:34,448
It's not supposed to end
happy for them;
248
00:11:34,468 --> 00:11:36,221
it's supposed to end
happy for me.
249
00:11:36,591 --> 00:11:37,604
Um...
250
00:11:37,644 --> 00:11:39,168
it did end happy for you.
251
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,261
- You're here with me.
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
252
00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:44,884
Okay, this is getting a little
hard to not take personally.
253
00:11:44,918 --> 00:11:46,437
Oh, come on, don't
make this about you.
254
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,175
Oh, I'm not.
It's about you.
255
00:11:48,188 --> 00:11:49,364
Yeah, well, whatever, okay?
256
00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:50,856
I told you,
Valentine's Day sucks.
257
00:11:50,913 --> 00:11:53,052
This one does,
and you're the reason why.
258
00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:54,630
What?
259
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,225
You know, compared to them,
I'm feeling pretty good about us.
260
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,470
Me, too.
261
00:11:59,505 --> 00:12:02,256
How about we blow off
dessert, go home early...
262
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,559
I'll do that laundry.
263
00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:04,729
Thank you.
264
00:12:04,873 --> 00:12:07,174
- I love you.
- Love you, too.
265
00:12:08,851 --> 00:12:10,051
So where'd you hide it?
266
00:12:10,183 --> 00:12:11,998
Where you'd never look.
267
00:12:12,511 --> 00:12:15,762
Damn it, it's in the
washing machine.
268
00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:23,143
Hello.
269
00:12:23,432 --> 00:12:24,657
Hello.
270
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:26,306
Happy Valentine's Day.
271
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:27,906
Okay.
272
00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:32,319
Shall we go to dinner?
273
00:12:32,395 --> 00:12:33,538
Hang on.
274
00:12:33,575 --> 00:12:36,035
As you know, I had planned
a traditional evening
275
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,710
of romance and gifts.
276
00:12:37,938 --> 00:12:38,729
Yes,
277
00:12:38,741 --> 00:12:39,741
and as you know,
278
00:12:39,778 --> 00:12:42,193
I planned to pretend
to enjoy it.
279
00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:46,226
I've been working on
this facial expression all day.
280
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,077
And I appreciate your effort,
281
00:12:51,181 --> 00:12:54,719
but upon contemplation,
I decided I was being selfish.
282
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,891
So, I canceled
our dinner reservations
283
00:12:56,927 --> 00:12:58,777
and came up
with an even better way
284
00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:00,375
to celebrate Valentine's Day.
285
00:13:00,982 --> 00:13:02,070
What is that?
286
00:13:02,098 --> 00:13:03,520
By doing none of it--
287
00:13:03,653 --> 00:13:04,616
no dinner,
288
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,356
no romance, no gifts.
289
00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:09,052
We stay here, order a pizza
290
00:13:09,102 --> 00:13:10,882
and watch one of your beloved
291
00:13:10,906 --> 00:13:13,106
Star War Trek things.
292
00:13:14,413 --> 00:13:15,580
Really?
293
00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:17,875
Well, that's what you'd love, isn't it?
294
00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:19,744
More than anything.
295
00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:21,233
Well, then...
296
00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,353
that's what we're going to do.
297
00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:26,336
Well...
298
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,363
I don't know what to say.
299
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,940
This is the most thoughtful gift
300
00:13:30,969 --> 00:13:33,136
that anyone's ever given me.
301
00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:36,973
And that's including an amazing gift
that I gave myself earlier today.
302
00:13:39,364 --> 00:13:41,515
I'm your girlfriend.
That's my job.
303
00:13:41,665 --> 00:13:44,955
And I know gift-giving
puts a lot of pressure on you,
304
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:46,036
so...
305
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,117
whatever you got me,
you can return.
306
00:13:49,964 --> 00:13:51,233
No.
307
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:54,278
No, after everything you
didn't do for me tonight,
308
00:13:54,303 --> 00:13:56,053
I want you to have it.
309
00:13:56,955 --> 00:13:58,500
- What's this?
- Read it.
310
00:13:59,909 --> 00:14:00,809
"Sheldon Cooper,
311
00:14:00,828 --> 00:14:03,426
Caltech University
employee information"?
312
00:14:03,486 --> 00:14:04,685
At the bottom.
313
00:14:04,905 --> 00:14:07,909
"In case of emergency,
please contact...
314
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:10,438
Amy Farrah Fowler."
315
00:14:13,138 --> 00:14:15,067
And there's my phone number.
316
00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:21,818
This is the most beautiful gift
you could've ever given me.
317
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,713
Well, I thought,
318
00:14:23,745 --> 00:14:27,081
if I have a stroke
or a kidney stone,
319
00:14:27,693 --> 00:14:29,926
who would I want
to share that with?
320
00:14:33,692 --> 00:14:35,922
And you picked me.
321
00:14:36,716 --> 00:14:37,960
It's like you said--
322
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,777
you're my girlfriend.
323
00:14:39,916 --> 00:14:41,097
Oh, Sheldon.
324
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,447
Yeah...
325
00:14:45,658 --> 00:14:47,176
Okay.
326
00:14:47,832 --> 00:14:50,733
Stop ruining Valentine's Day
and order my pizza.
327
00:14:55,691 --> 00:14:57,285
- Night.
- Yep.
328
00:15:00,995 --> 00:15:02,263
(sighs)
329
00:15:02,976 --> 00:15:04,175
(door shuts)
330
00:15:07,092 --> 00:15:08,192
You know what?
331
00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:10,040
That was pretty crappy of you.
332
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,601
I mean, all I wanted to do
was give you a great night,
333
00:15:12,626 --> 00:15:15,329
and it's like you-you went out
of your way to destroy it.
334
00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:17,470
Yeah, I know. I'm a total bitch.
335
00:15:17,494 --> 00:15:19,310
- I'm not saying that.
- Well, I am.
336
00:15:19,345 --> 00:15:21,362
Fine, you win.
You're a bitch.
337
00:15:23,859 --> 00:15:26,410
Why couldn't we
just have a nice time?
338
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,437
I don't know.
(sighs)
339
00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:31,383
Maybe 'cause things are going
so well between us lately
340
00:15:31,402 --> 00:15:33,351
and I've been really happy.
341
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,956
Okay, you're gonna have to make
a lot more sense than that.
342
00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:46,491
Obviously, I have
some commitment issues.
343
00:15:46,535 --> 00:15:48,660
Glaringly obvious.
Go on.
344
00:15:49,038 --> 00:15:50,997
As long as things keep going
great between us,
345
00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:53,894
you'll keep asking me to marry you,
and eventually I'm gonna end up saying yes,
346
00:15:53,935 --> 00:15:55,747
and then we're gonna be
married forever,
347
00:15:55,766 --> 00:15:58,383
and the whole thing
just freaks me out.
348
00:15:59,464 --> 00:16:00,339
(sighs)
349
00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:01,758
Okay.
350
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:04,963
I know I propose a lot.
351
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,500
So how about this?
352
00:16:12,568 --> 00:16:15,913
I promise I will never ask you
to marry me again.
353
00:16:16,662 --> 00:16:18,200
What... what do you mean?
354
00:16:18,216 --> 00:16:19,435
Are you breaking up with me?
355
00:16:19,453 --> 00:16:20,166
No.
356
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:21,233
No, no, no, no.
357
00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:24,161
But if someday you decide
you want to get married,
358
00:16:24,487 --> 00:16:26,237
you have to propose to me.
359
00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:28,889
- Really?
- Yes.
360
00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:30,579
It's all on you.
361
00:16:31,043 --> 00:16:32,747
But I got to tell you,
when the time comes,
362
00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:35,138
I want the whole nine yards.
I want you down on one knee, flowers.
363
00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:37,233
I want to be swept off my feet.
364
00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:41,135
Yeah, you got it.
365
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:43,862
And I'm cool with surprises.
But nothing on a Jumbotron.
366
00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:48,217
I don't want to cry
on a big screen like that.
367
00:16:50,341 --> 00:16:51,558
Okay.
368
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:55,283
You know what?
369
00:16:55,734 --> 00:16:57,884
This might be the wine talking, but...
370
00:16:58,423 --> 00:17:01,129
I have a very important
question to ask you.
371
00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:03,434
You do?
372
00:17:03,832 --> 00:17:05,699
Leonard Hofstadter...
373
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:07,740
Yes?
374
00:17:10,024 --> 00:17:12,175
...will you be my valentine?
375
00:17:14,539 --> 00:17:16,323
Sorry. Maybe next year.
376
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:19,855
I'm just kidding!
377
00:17:19,886 --> 00:17:22,420
Romance ninja.
Let's have sex! Wah!
378
00:17:26,055 --> 00:17:27,022
(music playing)
379
00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:28,668
Thank you, guys,
for doing this.
380
00:17:28,736 --> 00:17:30,402
We're glad you could make it.
381
00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:33,489
Usually I spend Valentine's Day
sad and alone.
382
00:17:33,526 --> 00:17:36,010
This year, I'm just sad.
383
00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:40,667
What is it about this holiday
that makes people so unhappy?
384
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:41,477
I know.
385
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:43,110
I hate myself most of the time,
386
00:17:43,141 --> 00:17:46,349
but tonight's the night
I know everyone else does, too.
387
00:17:47,628 --> 00:17:49,466
I think you're cool.
388
00:17:50,411 --> 00:17:51,774
Great.
389
00:17:54,308 --> 00:17:55,447
I got to tell you,
390
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:58,307
we've got to stop beating
ourselves up like this.
391
00:18:00,165 --> 00:18:01,778
Excuse me, everybody.
392
00:18:02,068 --> 00:18:03,634
Can I have your attention,
please?
393
00:18:03,879 --> 00:18:05,078
(music stops playing)
394
00:18:08,425 --> 00:18:10,626
We're all here tonight
because...
395
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:12,906
we have no one to be with.
396
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:14,670
But...
397
00:18:15,182 --> 00:18:17,182
that doesn't make us mutants.
398
00:18:18,095 --> 00:18:21,096
The only mutants here
are in these comic books.
399
00:18:23,045 --> 00:18:26,126
We've got to stop defining
our self-worth
400
00:18:26,267 --> 00:18:28,851
by whether or not
we're in a relationship.
401
00:18:30,203 --> 00:18:32,178
You know what I see
when I look around?
402
00:18:33,168 --> 00:18:35,136
I see a room
full of great people.
403
00:18:36,775 --> 00:18:39,308
So let's give ourselves a break.
404
00:18:39,448 --> 00:18:41,699
We are a community,
405
00:18:41,958 --> 00:18:44,114
and as long as we have each other,
406
00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:46,672
we're never truly alone.
407
00:18:51,636 --> 00:18:53,098
(sighs)
408
00:18:54,179 --> 00:18:55,304
That was cool.
409
00:18:55,327 --> 00:18:56,879
What you said.
410
00:18:58,185 --> 00:18:59,392
You really think so?
411
00:18:59,419 --> 00:19:00,648
Yeah, I do.
412
00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:01,832
Thank you.
413
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:05,994
Uh...
414
00:19:06,199 --> 00:19:07,667
Would you like to, uh...
415
00:19:07,716 --> 00:19:10,310
get a cup...
a cup of coffee or...?
416
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,701
Okay.
417
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,891
Later, losers!
418
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,356
(phone rings)
419
00:19:31,823 --> 00:19:33,435
Hello?
420
00:19:34,426 --> 00:19:35,946
Another medical emergency?
421
00:19:35,969 --> 00:19:38,042
What's wrong with him now?
422
00:19:39,105 --> 00:19:42,825
I seriously doubt he was bitten
by a Chinese bird spider.
423
00:19:44,495 --> 00:19:47,113
How exactly does a bump
feel Asian?
424
00:19:48,468 --> 00:19:50,412
Just put him on the phone.
425
00:19:50,796 --> 00:19:53,271
Sheldon, I am not driving
over there again.
426
00:19:53,952 --> 00:19:56,897
Because I drove over there yesterday
for a brain tumor that turned out to be
427
00:19:56,927 --> 00:19:58,747
an ice cream headache.
428
00:20:00,815 --> 00:20:04,281
Yes, I still want to be
your emergency contact.
429
00:20:05,895 --> 00:20:08,357
Yes, you can eat
your ice cream too fast
430
00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,581
and also have a brain tumor.
431
00:20:13,919 --> 00:20:15,245
I'm on my way.
432
00:20:18,145 --> 00:20:19,846
Brain tumor
would explain a lot.
433
00:20:22,747 --> 00:20:27,747
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther