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00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:22,826
Yee-haw!
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00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,518
Ew.
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00:00:28,943 --> 00:00:32,243
♪ The Simpsons 24x13 ♪
Hardly Kirk-ing
Original Air Date on February 17, 2013
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00:00:32,263 --> 00:00:35,563
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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(classical music playing)
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BART:
Dad, what are you watching?
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00:00:46,078 --> 00:00:48,046
I think it's
a Terrence Malick movie.
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00:00:48,105 --> 00:00:50,140
No, you're watching
Baby Poindexter,
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00:00:50,154 --> 00:00:52,288
the most educational DVD
available
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00:00:52,311 --> 00:00:54,295
at the checkout aisle
at the grocery store.
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00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:57,455
Finally, a kid's show that isn't
trying to sell you something.
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00:00:57,512 --> 00:00:59,906
Which reminds me, we need
to order more rectangles.
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00:01:04,046 --> 00:01:05,619
FEMALE NARRATOR:
Friends.
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(bells jingling)
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Friends.
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00:01:10,577 --> 00:01:12,288
Colleagues.
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(gasps)
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Don't watch that DVD.
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I threw that away
because studies show
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it doesn't do any good.
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Look at me.
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Maybe instead of watching TV
with the kids,
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you could take them outside.
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What are you doing?
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This so-called educational
DVD may have even stunted
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the development of the
kids who watched it.
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LISA:
Wait a minute.
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00:01:38,244 --> 00:01:41,150
Didn't Bart and I both watch
this thing when we were little?
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I'm afraid so.
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Well, the obvious question is,
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why did I turn out
so academically superior
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00:01:48,918 --> 00:01:49,919
while Bart...
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While Bart turned out
so wonderful in his own way.
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That's the way people
talk about Ralph.
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Ralph, whose favorite color
is peanut butter.
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I wish I knew what happened.
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00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,062
(horn honking)
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(imitates honking horn)
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But now that I know better,
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no DVDs for you kids.
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Just educational television.
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NARRATOR: We return to
Ice Road Hand-Fishing.
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This has been our way of life
since we were pitched
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the idea by reality show
producers.
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Welcome to
Thieving Bear Chopper Hunt.
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- Okay, no TV at all.
- ALL: What?
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Honey, this sounds
like a noble experiment,
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but like Prohibition,
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it will end
in a hail of bullets.
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Fine.
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No TV for 24 hours.
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24 hours?
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00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,510
Where'd you pull
that crazy number?
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We can do without TV for a day.
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We're taking Maggie
to a children's book store,
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where she can learn
the old-fashioned way.
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The way children did
from 1910 to 2002.
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(grunting)
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Homer, a little help?
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I'm on it.
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Hmm. Hmm.
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If I buy you,
why do I need all these books?
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Shut up, shut up, shut up!
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Instead of watching TV,
we can read children's books
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written by TV stars.
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Who's Milli Vanilli?
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I don't know, kid.
I didn't write this.
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No refunds.
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Look, Maggie,
they have a story lady.
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One day, Silly Sally said,
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"Let's have a sloppy,
gloppy supper."
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First, they slurped their soup.
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Slurp, slurp, slurp.
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Then they chewed their bread.
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Chew, chew, chew.
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More soup?
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Oh, I could slurp this soup
forever.
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Slurp, slurp...
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Sorry, folks, she
doesn't even work here.
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(grunting)
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HOMER:
"Spot the hidden objects."
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Boy, you're pretty pushy
for a book I just met.
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Gotcha.
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(laughing)
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Candy cane
in the umbrella stand:
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oldest trick in the book.
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Okay, let's see.
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Ah, ah. (mutters)
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Have you seen Lisa and Maggie?
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If they're not a trumpet
or a rolling pin, then no.
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Yip!
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Homie, help me find them.
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Okay, now to see if I
can apply my book knowledge
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to the real world.
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Got them.
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Wow, no TV for 24 hours?
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I couldn't get
through a day without
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Doctors Oz, Phil and Gupta.
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You're right. I'm bored.
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Epoxy fight!
(groans)
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What the hell is an epoxy fight?
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Oh.
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Don't worry, I'll clean it up.
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Get me some whip cream
and a safety scissors.
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Don't worry, all I need is a cigarette
lighter and some sandpaper.
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(sanding)
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All right, let's
just use a razor.
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(gasps)
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Oh, my God.
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You look just like your dad.
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Let's see how far
we can take this.
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And finally the tie.
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I always wanted
to wear a necktie.
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Mom says they make you more...
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(in Kirk's voice):
...of a man.
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Now sing the alphabet song.
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(alternating with each letter):
♪ A-B-C-D-E-F-G
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♪ H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O...
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What if we Van Houten
to the max?
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(in Duffman's voice):
Whoa, that's a little too tight.
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Oh, yeah.
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Nah, back to the sweet spot.
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Milhouse,
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if people believe you're
a grown-up, we can do anything.
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(in Kirk's voice): Like we go to a
movie theater and pay full price?
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That would be awesome!
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Okay, first, tone it down.
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Time to teach you to be a man.
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What, now I'm not
pulling it off?
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("Here Comes Your Man"
by Pixies playing)
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♪ Here comes your man
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♪ Here comes your man
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♪ Here comes your man ♪
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♪ Here comes your man.
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And put the gas bill
on auto-pay.
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Nice.
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Time for your final test.
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(Homer grunting)
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(computer chiming)
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Oh, great.
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Another invasive Skype
from Mil... Huh?
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Hello, Lisa. This is my daddy.
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I mean, um, Kirk Van Houten.
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May I speak
to your father, please?
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00:07:04,979 --> 00:07:06,748
He's right here.
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00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,487
Homer, Bart would like to spend
the night at our house,
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and he has my permission.
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Sure. What do I care?
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- Not so fast!
- Huh?
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I also want to say that
Bart is a remarkable boy,
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and I disapprove
of your fathering
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and of your fat stomach.
153
00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:25,677
Oh, well, uh... sorry.
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Give him anything he wants--
bigger allowance, a new bike--
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just do it.
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00:07:30,352 --> 00:07:31,477
Whatever you say, sir.
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Dad, why are you kowtowing
to Mr. Van Houten?
158
00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:37,960
Sometimes it's just so nice
to have a man take charge.
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00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,876
And in ten years, make Lisa
go to the prom with Milhouse.
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00:07:43,272 --> 00:07:44,141
Dad.
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00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:46,575
Grown-ups have
their reasons.
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00:07:46,597 --> 00:07:47,705
(aggravated groan)
163
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,336
Now, I want you to eat
a gallon of ice cream
164
00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:51,734
in under two minutes.
165
00:07:51,755 --> 00:07:53,055
But I just did that.
166
00:07:53,121 --> 00:07:56,235
You now have one
minute, 55 seconds.
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00:07:59,634 --> 00:08:02,561
(Bart and Milhouse laugh)
168
00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:04,957
I'm going to like
being an adult.
169
00:08:04,988 --> 00:08:06,872
(laughs)
170
00:08:07,122 --> 00:08:08,520
(groaning)
171
00:08:14,831 --> 00:08:17,146
Now you're the same height
as your dad.
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00:08:18,327 --> 00:08:20,601
(in normal voice):
I can reach the poisons now,
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00:08:20,632 --> 00:08:23,501
each with an inviting skull
and crossbones.
174
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,984
Kirk, you' wearing
that shirt I bought you.
175
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:28,439
I thought you didn't like it.
176
00:08:28,445 --> 00:08:30,322
(in Kirk's voice): I love when you
buy me clothes.
177
00:08:30,352 --> 00:08:32,190
You know what's itchy
and what's not.
178
00:08:32,214 --> 00:08:34,659
Oh, Kirk Evelyn Van Houten.
179
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,860
(humming happily)
180
00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:38,619
(in regular voice):
I wish my dad
181
00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:41,441
could have been here
to see my parents kiss.
182
00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:42,863
Now, did you get
Kirk's license?
183
00:08:42,908 --> 00:08:43,950
Uh-huh.
184
00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:45,671
Ay, caramba!
185
00:08:45,762 --> 00:08:47,963
I rented a truck.
186
00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:50,327
I'm driving a truck.
187
00:08:50,371 --> 00:08:52,637
I crashed a truck.
188
00:08:52,689 --> 00:08:55,284
I rented another truck.
189
00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:01,928
Hey, Simpson, don't you have
a lame dad of your own?
190
00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:03,813
(in Kirk's voice):
Uh, I-I'd give you all my money,
191
00:09:03,831 --> 00:09:05,910
but my wallet
is Velcroed too tight.
192
00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:08,301
You're the wussiest
adult I've ever seen.
193
00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:10,569
An adult-- he's buying it.
194
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,097
Kirk, remember,
195
00:09:17,128 --> 00:09:19,810
you have the superpowers
of a middle-aged man.
196
00:09:23,149 --> 00:09:24,705
Hello, Mr. Kirk.
197
00:09:26,463 --> 00:09:29,065
I want to buy this beer,
uh, cigarettes,
198
00:09:29,092 --> 00:09:32,696
magazines with boobs
and three pairs of sunglasses.
199
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,166
Polarized.
200
00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:36,912
I suspect you are buying
for underage bullies,
201
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,657
but as that is 98%
of my business,
202
00:09:39,688 --> 00:09:41,818
I say, "Thank you, sir.
Come again."
203
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,380
Yo, Bart.
204
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,126
Your grown-man
friend is all right.
205
00:09:45,163 --> 00:09:47,001
We should start
threatening more adults.
206
00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:49,922
Wouldn't that make us
criminals instead of bullies?
207
00:09:50,015 --> 00:09:52,403
Let's beat up a philosopher
until he gives us the answer.
208
00:09:52,429 --> 00:09:54,635
- Oh, good idea.
- Yeah, I'm in.
209
00:09:54,755 --> 00:09:56,170
I made my mom happy
210
00:09:56,201 --> 00:09:58,285
and got through the
bullies without a punch.
211
00:09:58,322 --> 00:10:00,899
Being an adult is super easy.
212
00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:03,223
Hmm, hmm... hmm.
213
00:10:06,542 --> 00:10:07,686
(pops, chuckles)
214
00:10:07,721 --> 00:10:08,786
You dope.
215
00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:10,933
It says those are
for her pleasure.
216
00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:13,327
Now it's time for me
to live my fantasy
217
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:15,083
with mature themes.
218
00:10:15,262 --> 00:10:17,814
I'll go behind
that curtain a boy
219
00:10:17,823 --> 00:10:20,070
but come out a man.
220
00:10:22,251 --> 00:10:24,993
Hmm, more money for schools.
221
00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:27,497
That could translate
into more homework.
222
00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:28,891
I know this is highly illegal,
223
00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:31,154
but you're not leaving
this booth till you punch yes.
224
00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:32,934
Don't bother
screaming for help.
225
00:10:32,951 --> 00:10:35,678
This is a municipal
off-cycle election.
226
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,026
There's no one for miles.
227
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:40,642
(wolf howling)
228
00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:46,553
Don't forget your sticker.
229
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:49,387
(evil chuckling)
230
00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:52,048
Uh, hey, bartender.
231
00:10:52,091 --> 00:10:53,534
We'd like two milks,
232
00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,722
and then you can tell us
where babies come from.
233
00:10:56,763 --> 00:10:58,253
Oh, well, in my case,
234
00:10:58,271 --> 00:11:00,366
my mom was hit
with a voodoo curse.
235
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,416
I gestated for five years,
236
00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:05,021
then I popped out
backwards and on fire.
237
00:11:05,253 --> 00:11:06,303
Really?
238
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,000
Oh, yeah, keep my tail
right here in this jar.
239
00:11:09,029 --> 00:11:10,035
(both gasp)
240
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:11,435
Good times.
241
00:11:12,675 --> 00:11:15,644
Mom, I think Maggie misses TV.
242
00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:22,702
You know, Mom, I was thinking
we could take Maggie downtown.
243
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:25,570
The Jazz Hole is featuring
a Dizzy Gillespie tribute band.
244
00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:26,291
(gasps)
245
00:11:26,308 --> 00:11:29,072
Their trumpeter has
the puffiest cheeks.
246
00:11:29,131 --> 00:11:30,515
I don't think so.
247
00:11:30,549 --> 00:11:32,287
The U.S. Embassy
has warned people
248
00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:34,682
not to go to downtown
Springfield.
249
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,594
I get it. Middle child,
250
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,546
never do what I want.
251
00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:40,050
Hmm.
252
00:11:40,304 --> 00:11:43,520
Okay, I also know
of a puppet show.
253
00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:51,682
Long before
the Teutonic slaughters
254
00:11:51,707 --> 00:11:53,564
visited upon our people,
255
00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:55,881
there was the massacre
by Mstislov
256
00:11:55,906 --> 00:11:58,541
of Kiev in 1132.
257
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,442
Maybe we should go.
(screaming)
258
00:12:01,577 --> 00:12:04,245
Nobody leave till
every puppet dead.
259
00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:07,613
Bart, you wanted
to show me something?
260
00:12:07,651 --> 00:12:10,572
Just one sec. Nelson gave me
some notes on a prank I'm doing.
261
00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:17,607
Now, I asked you here because
I know a cool grown-up
262
00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:19,548
who will take you to
that club in the city.
263
00:12:19,596 --> 00:12:21,030
Really? Who?
264
00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:25,009
(in Kirk's voice):
Hello, Lisa.
265
00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:26,084
Milhouse?
266
00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:28,694
Milhouse?
Who's Milhouse?
267
00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:30,324
I mean, he-he's my son.
268
00:12:30,409 --> 00:12:31,948
Well, Milhouse,
269
00:12:32,094 --> 00:12:34,143
you might get past the bouncer
at the jazz club,
270
00:12:34,162 --> 00:12:36,446
because they're in no
position to turn anyone away,
271
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,694
but it doesn't matter,
'cause we can't pay
272
00:12:38,712 --> 00:12:40,755
for the gas and the
cover fee anyway.
273
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:44,036
Au contraire, starfish hair.
274
00:12:44,066 --> 00:12:46,150
The Baby Poindexter Company
is being forced to pay
275
00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:47,462
a settlement to any parent
276
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,779
who had enough misguided love
to buy their videos.
277
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,502
They're not gonna write a
check to a couple of kids.
278
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:55,578
Then I will be your guys' dad.
279
00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:57,613
(screams)
280
00:12:57,717 --> 00:13:00,959
Thanks, but lowering your voice
and standing on paint cans
281
00:13:00,984 --> 00:13:03,398
doesn't make you man
enough to be my dad.
282
00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:06,475
HOMER: Marge, can I get a subscription
to Highlights magazine?
283
00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,215
MARGE:
Homer, that's for children.
284
00:13:08,278 --> 00:13:09,632
HOMER:
Where does it say that?
285
00:13:09,648 --> 00:13:11,349
MARGE:
Read the rest of the title.
286
00:13:11,413 --> 00:13:14,097
HOMER:
Highlights for... D'oh!
287
00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:19,946
(Homer humming)
288
00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:22,796
Oh, dang it.
I lost my other earring.
289
00:13:22,829 --> 00:13:24,302
Leave it to me.
290
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,347
Earring.
Oh.
291
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:34,869
- Thimble from Monopoly game.
- Wondered where that was.
292
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,238
- $25 casino chip.
- Oh.
293
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,463
The smallest nesting doll.
294
00:13:39,488 --> 00:13:40,363
Oh.
295
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,972
Can you find anything
you like in this bed?
296
00:13:42,992 --> 00:13:45,483
Just my honey pie.
297
00:13:45,663 --> 00:13:47,551
Want to split it
while we snuggle?
298
00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:49,502
Mm-hmm.
299
00:13:49,713 --> 00:13:51,347
(Homer chewing loudly)
300
00:13:51,806 --> 00:13:53,156
MARGE:
Now what are you doing?
301
00:13:53,246 --> 00:13:54,914
HOMER:
Licking the wrapper.
302
00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:57,366
There you go, one adult
303
00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:59,268
and two children
one-way downtown.
304
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:02,062
Um, as adults,
what do we do now?
305
00:14:02,099 --> 00:14:03,131
Shake hands?
306
00:14:03,149 --> 00:14:04,937
If you like.
307
00:14:05,535 --> 00:14:08,416
And that's how you
do it. (chuckles)
308
00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:12,430
Now, remember, I can't sit
backwards or I get sick.
309
00:14:12,499 --> 00:14:14,878
Well, if I look
at your face, I get sick.
310
00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,516
Young man, apologize
to your sister.
311
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,092
Make me, baldy.
312
00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:20,429
Why, you little...
313
00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:22,652
(grunting)
314
00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,164
(in normal voice):
My adulthood!
315
00:14:25,251 --> 00:14:27,635
(grunting)
316
00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:30,595
I never thought I'd say this,
317
00:14:30,616 --> 00:14:33,784
but that is conduct
unbecoming of a bus station.
318
00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:39,190
Where'd your babies go?
319
00:14:40,304 --> 00:14:44,304
Your intellect-deadening DVDs
turned my brother's brain to jelly.
320
00:14:44,402 --> 00:14:47,237
Pretty shapes tell me
to kill everybody.
321
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:52,057
Looks like you're entitled
to the full rebate of $19.95.
322
00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:54,882
That's all you pay for
screwing up a child for life?
323
00:14:54,974 --> 00:14:57,141
(in Kirk's voice):
Kids, let me handle this.
324
00:14:57,615 --> 00:15:00,428
Uh, we'd like it in singles
and nickels, please.
325
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:02,427
Terrific.
Just need your signature.
326
00:15:02,462 --> 00:15:03,962
In cursive?
327
00:15:03,997 --> 00:15:05,063
"X" is fine.
328
00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:06,965
In cursive?
329
00:15:07,431 --> 00:15:10,256
Oh, it's just enough
to get home.
330
00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:12,156
I'm hungry now.
331
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:14,657
Hey, I'm walking on
paint cans all day.
332
00:15:14,675 --> 00:15:16,051
Give me a break.
333
00:15:16,139 --> 00:15:18,223
Guys, look, free breakfast
334
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,925
if we sit through
a sales pitch.
335
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,594
Just remember, Milhouse,
do not buy the condo.
336
00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:26,180
But what if we can't afford
not to buy it?
337
00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:30,896
Waldo, Waldo, Waldo.
338
00:15:30,956 --> 00:15:33,811
Homer, Bart said the kids were
going to the Van Houtens',
339
00:15:33,856 --> 00:15:36,758
but Luann just told me
they're supposed to be here.
340
00:15:36,775 --> 00:15:38,029
They've disappeared.
341
00:15:38,076 --> 00:15:39,643
We'll get those kids back.
342
00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:43,310
Because we just bought them
new shoes.
343
00:15:43,411 --> 00:15:45,612
Waldo, Waldo.
344
00:15:50,932 --> 00:15:52,928
Do you think Lisa went
to that jazz club
345
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,303
I wouldn't take her to?
346
00:15:54,337 --> 00:15:56,257
How many kids
will jazz corrupt?
347
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,790
(tires squealing)
348
00:15:59,107 --> 00:16:02,776
Lap pool and fully-quipped
gym with eucalyptus towels.
349
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:04,049
Now, let me give you
350
00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:06,909
the 14 different
apartment configurations.
351
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:08,182
The hacienda,
352
00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:09,500
the urban oasis,
353
00:16:09,696 --> 00:16:11,227
castle in the sky,
354
00:16:11,244 --> 00:16:12,751
Connecticut sunset...
355
00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:14,995
Lady, my stomach's full,
and I want to go.
356
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,972
That's how it works
in this country.
357
00:16:16,998 --> 00:16:18,436
(beeps)
If you try to leave,
358
00:16:18,462 --> 00:16:19,814
you'll find the doors
are locked.
359
00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:22,248
Well, before our dad
signs any contracts,
360
00:16:22,279 --> 00:16:24,379
he has a surprise for you.
361
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,894
Oh, I hope it's
that he's single.
362
00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:28,998
(laughs)
363
00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,383
I'm single.
364
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,392
Though, some days,
365
00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:34,178
I have a girl buddy
on field trips.
366
00:16:34,356 --> 00:16:36,425
You're a bit of a freak.
367
00:16:36,635 --> 00:16:38,004
I like that.
368
00:16:38,062 --> 00:16:40,797
(giggling)
369
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:43,235
You're the adult.
370
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,770
(grunts)
(lock clicks)
371
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:50,870
LISA: Kirk, don't you have
something to tell her?
372
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,066
Just looking for
a casual hookup?
373
00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:55,760
Yeah, for my
Thomas the Tank Engines.
374
00:16:55,813 --> 00:16:59,388
Ooh, I love how I don't
exactly understand
375
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,003
what you're saying.
376
00:17:01,582 --> 00:17:03,251
Homie, do you see anything?
377
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,157
No. I'm sorry.
378
00:17:05,179 --> 00:17:07,196
It's... Wait a minute.
379
00:17:15,311 --> 00:17:17,409
When I said you needed
a software update,
380
00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:19,253
it was not a criticism.
381
00:17:23,449 --> 00:17:25,411
We found what
we're looking for.
382
00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:26,524
The kids?
383
00:17:26,577 --> 00:17:28,378
Sure, they could
be here. Who knows?
384
00:17:28,432 --> 00:17:30,866
(tires squealing)
385
00:17:30,895 --> 00:17:32,455
Ooh, I love how your arms
386
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,002
are too short and
thin for your legs.
387
00:17:35,164 --> 00:17:36,865
Just like a crocodile.
388
00:17:36,892 --> 00:17:38,276
(in Duffman's voice):
I'm feeling a strange,
389
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:41,337
refreshing brew
of emotions. Oh, yeah.
390
00:17:41,398 --> 00:17:42,381
(grunts)
391
00:17:42,472 --> 00:17:43,535
Milhouse?
392
00:17:43,578 --> 00:17:45,055
(in normal voice):
How'd you know it was me?
393
00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:47,869
The top of your head
has a 5:00 shadow.
394
00:17:47,932 --> 00:17:48,796
(gasp)
395
00:17:48,821 --> 00:17:51,066
Your hair is growing back.
396
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,254
Tell me your secret.
397
00:17:52,295 --> 00:17:54,029
He's ten years old.
398
00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:55,707
Oh, there's always a catch.
399
00:17:55,757 --> 00:17:58,276
Is anyone here
going to buy a condo?
400
00:17:58,321 --> 00:18:01,902
It's going to be yes,
but don't rush me.
401
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,576
And worst of all,
you cast my vote.
402
00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:07,707
Who did you vote for in the
nonpartisan judicial election?
403
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:08,824
Williamson.
404
00:18:08,843 --> 00:18:10,516
No, no, no.
405
00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:12,999
I'm really sorry, Dad,
406
00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:14,931
but I have to say,
407
00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:17,264
it was pretty cool
having your life.
408
00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:18,351
You mean that?
409
00:18:18,372 --> 00:18:21,175
I'd be happy to wind
up just like you.
410
00:18:21,213 --> 00:18:24,511
I hope you remember that when
I can't pay for your college.
411
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:25,699
Now, how would you like to go
412
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,535
to your own
parent-teacher interview
413
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:28,848
while I see a movie?
414
00:18:28,906 --> 00:18:30,374
I'd like that.
415
00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:34,257
Son, promise you will never
look like me.
416
00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:35,577
I sure hope not.
417
00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:36,759
Why, you little...
418
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:40,400
That's not a heart-warming
thing to end on!
419
00:18:40,848 --> 00:18:45,848
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
420
00:18:54,602 --> 00:18:57,337
♪ Here comes your man
421
00:18:58,715 --> 00:19:02,380
♪ Here comes your man
422
00:19:02,697 --> 00:19:06,675
♪ Here comes your man ♪
423
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,932
♪ Here comes your man
424
00:19:10,812 --> 00:19:13,013
♪ Here comes your man
425
00:19:14,814 --> 00:19:18,633
♪ Here comes your man
426
00:19:18,936 --> 00:19:22,695
♪ Here comes your man ♪
427
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,289
♪ Here comes your man.
428
00:19:28,873 --> 00:19:30,924
Shh!