1 00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:22,826 Yee-haw! 2 00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,518 Ew. 3 00:00:28,943 --> 00:00:32,243 ♪ The Simpsons 24x13 ♪ Hardly Kirk-ing Original Air Date on February 17, 2013 4 00:00:32,263 --> 00:00:35,563 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 5 00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:46,060 Dad, what are you watching? 6 00:00:46,078 --> 00:00:48,046 I think it's a Terrence Malick movie. 7 00:00:48,105 --> 00:00:50,140 No, you're watching Baby Poindexter, 8 00:00:50,154 --> 00:00:52,288 the most educational DVD available 9 00:00:52,311 --> 00:00:54,295 at the checkout aisle at the grocery store. 10 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:57,455 Finally, a kid's show that isn't trying to sell you something. 11 00:00:57,512 --> 00:00:59,906 Which reminds me, we need to order more rectangles. 12 00:01:04,046 --> 00:01:05,619 Friends. 13 00:01:08,012 --> 00:01:09,546 Friends. 14 00:01:10,577 --> 00:01:12,288 Colleagues. 15 00:01:14,946 --> 00:01:16,721 Don't watch that DVD. 16 00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:18,783 I threw that away because studies show 17 00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:21,003 it doesn't do any good. 18 00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:23,696 Look at me. 19 00:01:24,155 --> 00:01:26,355 Maybe instead of watching TV with the kids, 20 00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:27,951 you could take them outside. 21 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,082 What are you doing? 22 00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:34,821 This so-called educational DVD may have even stunted 23 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,240 the development of the kids who watched it. 24 00:01:37,295 --> 00:01:38,220 Wait a minute. 25 00:01:38,244 --> 00:01:41,150 Didn't Bart and I both watch this thing when we were little? 26 00:01:41,173 --> 00:01:42,973 I'm afraid so. 27 00:01:43,026 --> 00:01:44,751 Well, the obvious question is, 28 00:01:44,803 --> 00:01:48,906 why did I turn out so academically superior 29 00:01:48,918 --> 00:01:49,919 while Bart... 30 00:01:49,937 --> 00:01:53,764 While Bart turned out so wonderful in his own way. 31 00:01:53,785 --> 00:01:55,670 That's the way people talk about Ralph. 32 00:01:55,762 --> 00:01:58,497 Ralph, whose favorite color is peanut butter. 33 00:01:58,525 --> 00:02:00,843 I wish I knew what happened. 34 00:02:18,084 --> 00:02:19,653 But now that I know better, 35 00:02:19,675 --> 00:02:21,676 no DVDs for you kids. 36 00:02:21,799 --> 00:02:24,045 Just educational television. 37 00:02:24,387 --> 00:02:27,289 We return to Ice Road Hand-Fishing. 38 00:02:27,329 --> 00:02:29,964 This has been our way of life since we were pitched 39 00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:33,101 the idea by reality show producers. 40 00:02:37,473 --> 00:02:40,261 Welcome to Thieving Bear Chopper Hunt. 41 00:02:40,279 --> 00:02:42,981 - Okay, no TV at all. - What? 42 00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:45,240 Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, 43 00:02:45,259 --> 00:02:46,484 but like Prohibition, 44 00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:48,485 it will end in a hail of bullets. 45 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,428 Fine. 46 00:02:49,446 --> 00:02:51,724 No TV for 24 hours. 47 00:02:51,747 --> 00:02:52,947 24 hours? 48 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,510 Where'd you pull that crazy number? 49 00:02:54,537 --> 00:02:57,106 We can do without TV for a day. 50 00:02:57,127 --> 00:02:59,478 We're taking Maggie to a children's book store, 51 00:02:59,519 --> 00:03:01,503 where she can learn the old-fashioned way. 52 00:03:01,537 --> 00:03:05,756 The way children did from 1910 to 2002. 53 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:12,796 Homer, a little help? 54 00:03:12,814 --> 00:03:14,682 I'm on it. 55 00:03:24,736 --> 00:03:27,465 Hmm. Hmm. 56 00:03:28,763 --> 00:03:31,565 If I buy you, why do I need all these books? 57 00:03:31,598 --> 00:03:33,911 Shut up, shut up, shut up! 58 00:03:33,949 --> 00:03:37,454 Instead of watching TV, we can read children's books 59 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,584 written by TV stars. 60 00:03:46,033 --> 00:03:47,883 Who's Milli Vanilli? 61 00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:50,348 I don't know, kid. I didn't write this. 62 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:52,067 No refunds. 63 00:03:52,751 --> 00:03:55,914 Look, Maggie, they have a story lady. 64 00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:58,153 One day, Silly Sally said, 65 00:03:58,194 --> 00:04:01,106 "Let's have a sloppy, gloppy supper." 66 00:04:01,134 --> 00:04:03,558 First, they slurped their soup. 67 00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:06,914 Slurp, slurp, slurp. 68 00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:09,170 Then they chewed their bread. 69 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,278 Chew, chew, chew. 70 00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:13,819 More soup? 71 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:17,243 Oh, I could slurp this soup forever. 72 00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:19,562 Slurp, slurp... 73 00:04:19,585 --> 00:04:21,644 Sorry, folks, she doesn't even work here. 74 00:04:23,835 --> 00:04:26,804 "Spot the hidden objects." 75 00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:30,334 Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met. 76 00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:32,424 Gotcha. 77 00:04:34,037 --> 00:04:36,129 Candy cane in the umbrella stand: 78 00:04:36,147 --> 00:04:38,068 oldest trick in the book. 79 00:04:38,148 --> 00:04:39,748 Okay, let's see. 80 00:04:40,716 --> 00:04:42,246 Ah, ah. 81 00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:43,913 Have you seen Lisa and Maggie? 82 00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:46,187 If they're not a trumpet or a rolling pin, then no. 83 00:04:46,212 --> 00:04:47,687 Yip! 84 00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,691 Homie, help me find them. 85 00:04:49,759 --> 00:04:53,197 Okay, now to see if I can apply my book knowledge 86 00:04:53,216 --> 00:04:54,583 to the real world. 87 00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:04,385 Got them. 88 00:05:04,736 --> 00:05:07,756 Wow, no TV for 24 hours? 89 00:05:07,818 --> 00:05:09,462 I couldn't get through a day without 90 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,918 Doctors Oz, Phil and Gupta. 91 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,135 You're right. I'm bored. 92 00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:15,172 Epoxy fight! 93 00:05:15,236 --> 00:05:17,821 What the hell is an epoxy fight? 94 00:05:19,226 --> 00:05:20,701 Oh. 95 00:05:21,105 --> 00:05:22,565 Don't worry, I'll clean it up. 96 00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:24,482 Get me some whip cream and a safety scissors. 97 00:05:26,478 --> 00:05:29,420 Don't worry, all I need is a cigarette lighter and some sandpaper. 98 00:05:32,072 --> 00:05:34,573 All right, let's just use a razor. 99 00:05:37,252 --> 00:05:38,786 Oh, my God. 100 00:05:38,821 --> 00:05:40,438 You look just like your dad. 101 00:05:40,634 --> 00:05:43,889 Let's see how far we can take this. 102 00:05:43,998 --> 00:05:46,109 And finally the tie. 103 00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:48,150 I always wanted to wear a necktie. 104 00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,060 Mom says they make you more... 105 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,293 ...of a man. 106 00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:53,053 Now sing the alphabet song. 107 00:05:53,108 --> 00:05:56,643 ♪ A-B-C-D-E-F-G 108 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,161 ♪ H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O... 109 00:05:59,424 --> 00:06:02,418 What if we Van Houten to the max? 110 00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:04,388 Whoa, that's a little too tight. 111 00:06:04,419 --> 00:06:05,151 Oh, yeah. 112 00:06:05,183 --> 00:06:06,979 Nah, back to the sweet spot. 113 00:06:07,122 --> 00:06:08,348 Milhouse, 114 00:06:08,392 --> 00:06:12,211 if people believe you're a grown-up, we can do anything. 115 00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:15,316 Like we go to a movie theater and pay full price? 116 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:17,927 That would be awesome! 117 00:06:18,026 --> 00:06:19,737 Okay, first, tone it down. 118 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,344 Time to teach you to be a man. 119 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:23,631 What, now I'm not pulling it off? 120 00:06:25,987 --> 00:06:28,321 ♪ Here comes your man 121 00:06:29,805 --> 00:06:32,422 ♪ Here comes your man 122 00:06:33,595 --> 00:06:37,450 ♪ Here comes your man ♪ 123 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:40,575 ♪ Here comes your man. 124 00:06:42,808 --> 00:06:46,415 And put the gas bill on auto-pay. 125 00:06:46,444 --> 00:06:47,490 Nice. 126 00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:49,152 Time for your final test. 127 00:06:55,219 --> 00:06:56,248 Oh, great. 128 00:06:56,266 --> 00:06:58,993 Another invasive Skype from Mil... Huh? 129 00:06:59,063 --> 00:07:01,273 Hello, Lisa. This is my daddy. 130 00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:03,142 I mean, um, Kirk Van Houten. 131 00:07:03,175 --> 00:07:04,930 May I speak to your father, please? 132 00:07:04,979 --> 00:07:06,748 He's right here. 133 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,487 Homer, Bart would like to spend the night at our house, 134 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,100 and he has my permission. 135 00:07:11,196 --> 00:07:13,197 Sure. What do I care? 136 00:07:13,282 --> 00:07:15,407 - Not so fast! - Huh? 137 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,971 I also want to say that Bart is a remarkable boy, 138 00:07:18,996 --> 00:07:21,068 and I disapprove of your fathering 139 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,133 and of your fat stomach. 140 00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:25,677 Oh, well, uh... sorry. 141 00:07:25,761 --> 00:07:29,094 Give him anything he wants-- bigger allowance, a new bike-- 142 00:07:29,155 --> 00:07:30,311 just do it. 143 00:07:30,352 --> 00:07:31,477 Whatever you say, sir. 144 00:07:31,495 --> 00:07:34,302 Dad, why are you kowtowing to Mr. Van Houten? 145 00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:37,960 Sometimes it's just so nice to have a man take charge. 146 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,876 And in ten years, make Lisa go to the prom with Milhouse. 147 00:07:43,272 --> 00:07:44,141 Dad. 148 00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:46,575 Grown-ups have their reasons. 149 00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,336 Now, I want you to eat a gallon of ice cream 150 00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:51,734 in under two minutes. 151 00:07:51,755 --> 00:07:53,055 But I just did that. 152 00:07:53,121 --> 00:07:56,235 You now have one minute, 55 seconds. 153 00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:04,957 I'm going to like being an adult. 154 00:08:14,831 --> 00:08:17,146 Now you're the same height as your dad. 155 00:08:18,327 --> 00:08:20,601 I can reach the poisons now, 156 00:08:20,632 --> 00:08:23,501 each with an inviting skull and crossbones. 157 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,984 Kirk, you' wearing that shirt I bought you. 158 00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:28,439 I thought you didn't like it. 159 00:08:28,445 --> 00:08:30,322 I love when you buy me clothes. 160 00:08:30,352 --> 00:08:32,190 You know what's itchy and what's not. 161 00:08:32,214 --> 00:08:34,659 Oh, Kirk Evelyn Van Houten. 162 00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:38,619 I wish my dad 163 00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:41,441 could have been here to see my parents kiss. 164 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:42,863 Now, did you get Kirk's license? 165 00:08:42,908 --> 00:08:43,950 Uh-huh. 166 00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:45,671 Ay, caramba! 167 00:08:45,762 --> 00:08:47,963 I rented a truck. 168 00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:50,327 I'm driving a truck. 169 00:08:50,371 --> 00:08:52,637 I crashed a truck. 170 00:08:52,689 --> 00:08:55,284 I rented another truck. 171 00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:01,928 Hey, Simpson, don't you have a lame dad of your own? 172 00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:03,813 Uh, I-I'd give you all my money, 173 00:09:03,831 --> 00:09:05,910 but my wallet is Velcroed too tight. 174 00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:08,301 You're the wussiest adult I've ever seen. 175 00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:10,569 An adult-- he's buying it. 176 00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,097 Kirk, remember, 177 00:09:17,128 --> 00:09:19,810 you have the superpowers of a middle-aged man. 178 00:09:23,149 --> 00:09:24,705 Hello, Mr. Kirk. 179 00:09:26,463 --> 00:09:29,065 I want to buy this beer, uh, cigarettes, 180 00:09:29,092 --> 00:09:32,696 magazines with boobs and three pairs of sunglasses. 181 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,166 Polarized. 182 00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:36,912 I suspect you are buying for underage bullies, 183 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,657 but as that is 98% of my business, 184 00:09:39,688 --> 00:09:41,818 I say, "Thank you, sir. Come again." 185 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,380 Yo, Bart. 186 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,126 Your grown-man friend is all right. 187 00:09:45,163 --> 00:09:47,001 We should start threatening more adults. 188 00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:49,922 Wouldn't that make us criminals instead of bullies? 189 00:09:50,015 --> 00:09:52,403 Let's beat up a philosopher until he gives us the answer. 190 00:09:52,429 --> 00:09:54,635 - Oh, good idea. - Yeah, I'm in. 191 00:09:54,755 --> 00:09:56,170 I made my mom happy 192 00:09:56,201 --> 00:09:58,285 and got through the bullies without a punch. 193 00:09:58,322 --> 00:10:00,899 Being an adult is super easy. 194 00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:03,223 Hmm, hmm... hmm. 195 00:10:07,721 --> 00:10:08,786 You dope. 196 00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:10,933 It says those are for her pleasure. 197 00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:13,327 Now it's time for me to live my fantasy 198 00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:15,083 with mature themes. 199 00:10:15,262 --> 00:10:17,814 I'll go behind that curtain a boy 200 00:10:17,823 --> 00:10:20,070 but come out a man. 201 00:10:22,251 --> 00:10:24,993 Hmm, more money for schools. 202 00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:27,497 That could translate into more homework. 203 00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:28,891 I know this is highly illegal, 204 00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:31,154 but you're not leaving this booth till you punch yes. 205 00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:32,934 Don't bother screaming for help. 206 00:10:32,951 --> 00:10:35,678 This is a municipal off-cycle election. 207 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,026 There's no one for miles. 208 00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:46,553 Don't forget your sticker. 209 00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:52,048 Uh, hey, bartender. 210 00:10:52,091 --> 00:10:53,534 We'd like two milks, 211 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,722 and then you can tell us where babies come from. 212 00:10:56,763 --> 00:10:58,253 Oh, well, in my case, 213 00:10:58,271 --> 00:11:00,366 my mom was hit with a voodoo curse. 214 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,416 I gestated for five years, 215 00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:05,021 then I popped out backwards and on fire. 216 00:11:05,253 --> 00:11:06,303 Really? 217 00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,000 Oh, yeah, keep my tail right here in this jar. 218 00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:11,435 Good times. 219 00:11:12,675 --> 00:11:15,644 Mom, I think Maggie misses TV. 220 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:22,702 You know, Mom, I was thinking we could take Maggie downtown. 221 00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:25,570 The Jazz Hole is featuring a Dizzy Gillespie tribute band. 222 00:11:26,308 --> 00:11:29,072 Their trumpeter has the puffiest cheeks. 223 00:11:29,131 --> 00:11:30,515 I don't think so. 224 00:11:30,549 --> 00:11:32,287 The U.S. Embassy has warned people 225 00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:34,682 not to go to downtown Springfield. 226 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,594 I get it. Middle child, 227 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,546 never do what I want. 228 00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:40,050 Hmm. 229 00:11:40,304 --> 00:11:43,520 Okay, I also know of a puppet show. 230 00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:51,682 Long before the Teutonic slaughters 231 00:11:51,707 --> 00:11:53,564 visited upon our people, 232 00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:55,881 there was the massacre by Mstislov 233 00:11:55,906 --> 00:11:58,541 of Kiev in 1132. 234 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,442 Maybe we should go. 235 00:12:01,577 --> 00:12:04,245 Nobody leave till every puppet dead. 236 00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:07,613 Bart, you wanted to show me something? 237 00:12:07,651 --> 00:12:10,572 Just one sec. Nelson gave me some notes on a prank I'm doing. 238 00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:17,607 Now, I asked you here because I know a cool grown-up 239 00:12:17,619 --> 00:12:19,548 who will take you to that club in the city. 240 00:12:19,596 --> 00:12:21,030 Really? Who? 241 00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:25,009 Hello, Lisa. 242 00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:26,084 Milhouse? 243 00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:28,694 Milhouse? Who's Milhouse? 244 00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:30,324 I mean, he-he's my son. 245 00:12:30,409 --> 00:12:31,948 Well, Milhouse, 246 00:12:32,094 --> 00:12:34,143 you might get past the bouncer at the jazz club, 247 00:12:34,162 --> 00:12:36,446 because they're in no position to turn anyone away, 248 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,694 but it doesn't matter, 'cause we can't pay 249 00:12:38,712 --> 00:12:40,755 for the gas and the cover fee anyway. 250 00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:44,036 Au contraire, starfish hair. 251 00:12:44,066 --> 00:12:46,150 The Baby Poindexter Company is being forced to pay 252 00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:47,462 a settlement to any parent 253 00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,779 who had enough misguided love to buy their videos. 254 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,502 They're not gonna write a check to a couple of kids. 255 00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:55,578 Then I will be your guys' dad. 256 00:12:57,717 --> 00:13:00,959 Thanks, but lowering your voice and standing on paint cans 257 00:13:00,984 --> 00:13:03,398 doesn't make you man enough to be my dad. 258 00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:06,475 Marge, can I get a subscription to Highlights magazine? 259 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,215 Homer, that's for children. 260 00:13:08,278 --> 00:13:09,632 Where does it say that? 261 00:13:09,648 --> 00:13:11,349 Read the rest of the title. 262 00:13:11,413 --> 00:13:14,097 Highlights for... D'oh! 263 00:13:20,651 --> 00:13:22,796 Oh, dang it. I lost my other earring. 264 00:13:22,829 --> 00:13:24,302 Leave it to me. 265 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,347 Earring. Oh. 266 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:34,869 - Thimble from Monopoly game. - Wondered where that was. 267 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:37,238 - $25 casino chip. - Oh. 268 00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,463 The smallest nesting doll. 269 00:13:39,488 --> 00:13:40,363 Oh. 270 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,972 Can you find anything you like in this bed? 271 00:13:42,992 --> 00:13:45,483 Just my honey pie. 272 00:13:45,663 --> 00:13:47,551 Want to split it while we snuggle? 273 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:49,502 Mm-hmm. 274 00:13:51,806 --> 00:13:53,156 Now what are you doing? 275 00:13:53,246 --> 00:13:54,914 Licking the wrapper. 276 00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:57,366 There you go, one adult 277 00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:59,268 and two children one-way downtown. 278 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:02,062 Um, as adults, what do we do now? 279 00:14:02,099 --> 00:14:03,131 Shake hands? 280 00:14:03,149 --> 00:14:04,937 If you like. 281 00:14:05,535 --> 00:14:08,416 And that's how you do it. 282 00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:12,430 Now, remember, I can't sit backwards or I get sick. 283 00:14:12,499 --> 00:14:14,878 Well, if I look at your face, I get sick. 284 00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,516 Young man, apologize to your sister. 285 00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,092 Make me, baldy. 286 00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:20,429 Why, you little... 287 00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,164 My adulthood! 288 00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:30,595 I never thought I'd say this, 289 00:14:30,616 --> 00:14:33,784 but that is conduct unbecoming of a bus station. 290 00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:39,190 Where'd your babies go? 291 00:14:40,304 --> 00:14:44,304 Your intellect-deadening DVDs turned my brother's brain to jelly. 292 00:14:44,402 --> 00:14:47,237 Pretty shapes tell me to kill everybody. 293 00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:52,057 Looks like you're entitled to the full rebate of $19.95. 294 00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:54,882 That's all you pay for screwing up a child for life? 295 00:14:54,974 --> 00:14:57,141 Kids, let me handle this. 296 00:14:57,615 --> 00:15:00,428 Uh, we'd like it in singles and nickels, please. 297 00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:02,427 Terrific. Just need your signature. 298 00:15:02,462 --> 00:15:03,962 In cursive? 299 00:15:03,997 --> 00:15:05,063 "X" is fine. 300 00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:06,965 In cursive? 301 00:15:07,431 --> 00:15:10,256 Oh, it's just enough to get home. 302 00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:12,156 I'm hungry now. 303 00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:14,657 Hey, I'm walking on paint cans all day. 304 00:15:14,675 --> 00:15:16,051 Give me a break. 305 00:15:16,139 --> 00:15:18,223 Guys, look, free breakfast 306 00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,925 if we sit through a sales pitch. 307 00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,594 Just remember, Milhouse, do not buy the condo. 308 00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:26,180 But what if we can't afford not to buy it? 309 00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:30,896 Waldo, Waldo, Waldo. 310 00:15:30,956 --> 00:15:33,811 Homer, Bart said the kids were going to the Van Houtens', 311 00:15:33,856 --> 00:15:36,758 but Luann just told me they're supposed to be here. 312 00:15:36,775 --> 00:15:38,029 They've disappeared. 313 00:15:38,076 --> 00:15:39,643 We'll get those kids back. 314 00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:43,310 Because we just bought them new shoes. 315 00:15:43,411 --> 00:15:45,612 Waldo, Waldo. 316 00:15:50,932 --> 00:15:52,928 Do you think Lisa went to that jazz club 317 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,303 I wouldn't take her to? 318 00:15:54,337 --> 00:15:56,257 How many kids will jazz corrupt? 319 00:15:59,107 --> 00:16:02,776 Lap pool and fully-quipped gym with eucalyptus towels. 320 00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:04,049 Now, let me give you 321 00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:06,909 the 14 different apartment configurations. 322 00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:08,182 The hacienda, 323 00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:09,500 the urban oasis, 324 00:16:09,696 --> 00:16:11,227 castle in the sky, 325 00:16:11,244 --> 00:16:12,751 Connecticut sunset... 326 00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:14,995 Lady, my stomach's full, and I want to go. 327 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,972 That's how it works in this country. 328 00:16:16,998 --> 00:16:18,436 If you try to leave, 329 00:16:18,462 --> 00:16:19,814 you'll find the doors are locked. 330 00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:22,248 Well, before our dad signs any contracts, 331 00:16:22,279 --> 00:16:24,379 he has a surprise for you. 332 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,894 Oh, I hope it's that he's single. 333 00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,383 I'm single. 334 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,392 Though, some days, 335 00:16:31,417 --> 00:16:34,178 I have a girl buddy on field trips. 336 00:16:34,356 --> 00:16:36,425 You're a bit of a freak. 337 00:16:36,635 --> 00:16:38,004 I like that. 338 00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:43,235 You're the adult. 339 00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:50,870 Kirk, don't you have something to tell her? 340 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,066 Just looking for a casual hookup? 341 00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:55,760 Yeah, for my Thomas the Tank Engines. 342 00:16:55,813 --> 00:16:59,388 Ooh, I love how I don't exactly understand 343 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,003 what you're saying. 344 00:17:01,582 --> 00:17:03,251 Homie, do you see anything? 345 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,157 No. I'm sorry. 346 00:17:05,179 --> 00:17:07,196 It's... Wait a minute. 347 00:17:15,311 --> 00:17:17,409 When I said you needed a software update, 348 00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:19,253 it was not a criticism. 349 00:17:23,449 --> 00:17:25,411 We found what we're looking for. 350 00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:26,524 The kids? 351 00:17:26,577 --> 00:17:28,378 Sure, they could be here. Who knows? 352 00:17:30,895 --> 00:17:32,455 Ooh, I love how your arms 353 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,002 are too short and thin for your legs. 354 00:17:35,164 --> 00:17:36,865 Just like a crocodile. 355 00:17:36,892 --> 00:17:38,276 I'm feeling a strange, 356 00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:41,337 refreshing brew of emotions. Oh, yeah. 357 00:17:42,472 --> 00:17:43,535 Milhouse? 358 00:17:43,578 --> 00:17:45,055 How'd you know it was me? 359 00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:47,869 The top of your head has a 5:00 shadow. 360 00:17:48,821 --> 00:17:51,066 Your hair is growing back. 361 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,254 Tell me your secret. 362 00:17:52,295 --> 00:17:54,029 He's ten years old. 363 00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:55,707 Oh, there's always a catch. 364 00:17:55,757 --> 00:17:58,276 Is anyone here going to buy a condo? 365 00:17:58,321 --> 00:18:01,902 It's going to be yes, but don't rush me. 366 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,576 And worst of all, you cast my vote. 367 00:18:04,607 --> 00:18:07,707 Who did you vote for in the nonpartisan judicial election? 368 00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:08,824 Williamson. 369 00:18:08,843 --> 00:18:10,516 No, no, no. 370 00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:12,999 I'm really sorry, Dad, 371 00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:14,931 but I have to say, 372 00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:17,264 it was pretty cool having your life. 373 00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:18,351 You mean that? 374 00:18:18,372 --> 00:18:21,175 I'd be happy to wind up just like you. 375 00:18:21,213 --> 00:18:24,511 I hope you remember that when I can't pay for your college. 376 00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:25,699 Now, how would you like to go 377 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,535 to your own parent-teacher interview 378 00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:28,848 while I see a movie? 379 00:18:28,906 --> 00:18:30,374 I'd like that. 380 00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:34,257 Son, promise you will never look like me. 381 00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:35,577 I sure hope not. 382 00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:36,759 Why, you little... 383 00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:40,400 That's not a heart-warming thing to end on! 384 00:18:40,848 --> 00:18:45,848 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 385 00:18:54,602 --> 00:18:57,337 ♪ Here comes your man 386 00:18:58,715 --> 00:19:02,380 ♪ Here comes your man 387 00:19:02,697 --> 00:19:06,675 ♪ Here comes your man ♪ 388 00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,932 ♪ Here comes your man 389 00:19:10,812 --> 00:19:13,013 ♪ Here comes your man 390 00:19:14,814 --> 00:19:18,633 ♪ Here comes your man 391 00:19:18,936 --> 00:19:22,695 ♪ Here comes your man ♪ 392 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,289 ♪ Here comes your man. 393 00:19:28,873 --> 00:19:30,924 Shh!