1 00:00:00,505 --> 00:00:03,942 Oh. It's noon. First wine of the day. 2 00:00:03,976 --> 00:00:06,550 Mmm. 3 00:00:06,584 --> 00:00:08,826 Ellie! 4 00:00:10,028 --> 00:00:12,490 - Thanks, Boo. - Mm! 5 00:00:12,524 --> 00:00:14,649 When you have a husband that's been wrapped 6 00:00:14,684 --> 00:00:16,644 around your finger since the day you met, 7 00:00:16,679 --> 00:00:18,041 you can do things like that. 8 00:00:18,076 --> 00:00:21,038 And this. 9 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,536 (Gasps) 10 00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:25,831 Hello again. 11 00:00:25,865 --> 00:00:27,726 - Wha-- - I'm sure Grayson 12 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,919 pays attention to you like that. 13 00:00:29,953 --> 00:00:31,653 Watch and learn, girlfriend. 14 00:00:31,688 --> 00:00:32,953 (Chuckles) 15 00:00:34,355 --> 00:00:36,924 Grayson, where were you? 16 00:00:36,958 --> 00:00:39,994 I'm relaxing. Could you maybe not pour wine on the counter? 17 00:00:40,029 --> 00:00:42,729 Could you maybe pretend that you love me? 18 00:00:42,763 --> 00:00:47,567 (Western theme playing) 19 00:00:55,509 --> 00:00:56,843 Stop spilling wine! 20 00:00:56,877 --> 00:00:58,611 Stop not catching it! 21 00:00:58,645 --> 00:01:01,313 Amateurs. (Laughs) 22 00:01:01,348 --> 00:01:02,514 Mmm. 23 00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:03,882 Really? 24 00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:06,350 Sync and corrections by n17t01 Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne www.addic7ed.com 25 00:01:06,351 --> 00:01:08,851 4x07 Flirting With Time 26 00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:10,954 (Grunts) Okay, I don't care 27 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,556 what you're doing to my island as long as it's consensual. 28 00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:17,527 Wade is finally coming back from Afghanistan tomorrow. 29 00:01:17,561 --> 00:01:21,697 If I don't stretch it out, I could sprain my snooze. 30 00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:23,799 I've heard you call it a sizzle, a hoo, 31 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,367 - a hot pocket... - Bonnie hunt. 32 00:01:26,402 --> 00:01:27,735 A no country for old men... 33 00:01:27,769 --> 00:01:29,570 - Woolly mammoth. - The hurt locker. 34 00:01:29,604 --> 00:01:31,871 Jelly is a vagina thesaurus. 35 00:01:31,906 --> 00:01:33,473 Oh. (Chuckles) 36 00:01:34,809 --> 00:01:37,476 A vaginasaurus. Best dinosaur ever. 37 00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:39,112 - Hey, Jules, good news. - Hmm? 38 00:01:39,146 --> 00:01:40,813 That couple from yesterday wants to come back and see my house. 39 00:01:40,847 --> 00:01:42,348 - (Gasps) - I think 40 00:01:42,382 --> 00:01:43,750 they might put down an offer. 41 00:01:43,817 --> 00:01:47,852 New neighbors? Why was I not asked to approve? 42 00:01:47,886 --> 00:01:50,054 You know how you hate everyone and everything? 43 00:01:50,088 --> 00:01:51,722 - Yes. - That. 44 00:01:51,756 --> 00:01:52,957 - Got it. - But, guys, 45 00:01:52,991 --> 00:01:54,525 this new couple is gonna be perfect, 46 00:01:54,559 --> 00:01:55,893 except for they are into healthy living. 47 00:01:55,927 --> 00:01:57,328 - Blech! - No. 48 00:01:57,362 --> 00:01:59,430 - They're vegan. - Hate that. 49 00:01:59,465 --> 00:02:00,564 - What?! - And actually, they don't drink. 50 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,032 - I forbid it! - No sale! 51 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:03,634 Yeah, screw those guys! 52 00:02:03,668 --> 00:02:06,837 I mean, who needs their $226,000? We don't. 53 00:02:06,871 --> 00:02:09,739 (Women chant) We don't. We don't. We don't. We don't. 54 00:02:09,774 --> 00:02:11,675 No, no, no, no, no. We do. 55 00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,543 I knew that. 56 00:02:13,578 --> 00:02:15,579 What are we doing? Wade comes home tomorrow, 57 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:18,681 and I still have to sew, like, three more sexy costumes. 58 00:02:18,715 --> 00:02:22,451 Honey, cutting crotches out of pants is not sewing. 59 00:02:22,519 --> 00:02:24,353 Okay, you know how I love those videos 60 00:02:24,387 --> 00:02:26,555 of soldiers coming home to surprise their families? 61 00:02:26,589 --> 00:02:27,789 Totally. 62 00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,858 Anyway, it turns out 63 00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:33,328 that Wade's not coming home tomorrow. 64 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,696 - What? - Surprise! 65 00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:36,698 - Oh. - Oh! 66 00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:39,266 Uh, this wasn't turned on yet. We're gonna have to do it again. 67 00:02:39,301 --> 00:02:40,534 Oh, my God! 68 00:02:40,569 --> 00:02:42,369 (High-pitched voice) Wade! Wade! Wade! 69 00:02:42,403 --> 00:02:43,903 Do it again! Do it again! 70 00:02:43,938 --> 00:02:46,771 - Are we really watching "Pretty Woman"? - Shush it. 71 00:02:46,806 --> 00:02:48,846 He's about to close the necklace box on her fingers. 72 00:02:48,874 --> 00:02:50,707 Oh! 73 00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:51,939 Ooh! 74 00:02:51,973 --> 00:02:53,401 (High-pitched voice) Oh! (Laughs) 75 00:02:53,435 --> 00:02:56,426 (Normal voice) And boom! A star is born. 76 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:58,760 You guys don't actually like rom-coms, do you? 77 00:02:58,795 --> 00:03:01,396 I mean, they're all dumb cliches and hacky meet-cutes. 78 00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,330 No real couples ever meet like that. 79 00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:04,732 Every great couple has a meet-cute story-- 80 00:03:04,766 --> 00:03:06,232 Adam and Eve. 81 00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:07,967 Jay-Z and Beyonce. 82 00:03:08,002 --> 00:03:09,368 Oh, you and my mom. 83 00:03:09,403 --> 00:03:10,769 Hey, wait. What was yours again? 84 00:03:10,804 --> 00:03:12,504 She came over to borrow a plunger. 85 00:03:12,538 --> 00:03:13,705 Wait. Wait. Wait. I wasn't ready. 86 00:03:13,739 --> 00:03:15,240 Tell it again from the beginning. 87 00:03:15,274 --> 00:03:16,875 Oh, I had a great meet-cute with Trav. 88 00:03:16,909 --> 00:03:18,977 They pulled him out and put him in my arms. 89 00:03:19,045 --> 00:03:20,886 But they forgot to tell me how slippery he was. 90 00:03:20,913 --> 00:03:23,380 He kinda just got away from me. 91 00:03:23,414 --> 00:03:25,580 Hence, square head. 92 00:03:25,615 --> 00:03:27,378 Kills at parties. 93 00:03:29,612 --> 00:03:31,946 We just love the neighborhood. 94 00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:33,781 What a great yoga yard. 95 00:03:33,815 --> 00:03:35,449 (Chuckles) Tell me about it, sister. 96 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,451 There's nothing that I love more than yoga. 97 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,620 We should meet every morning. (Under breath) Make me stop. 98 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:41,954 (Chuckles) 99 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:45,390 Hey, neighbor! Welcome to the sac! 100 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,292 Andy, put away Tobey Maguire! 101 00:03:47,326 --> 00:03:49,794 - Oh. - I hate that I know you named it that. 102 00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:52,963 (Tires screech) Yo! I'm putting a militia together. 103 00:03:52,997 --> 00:03:55,632 You sons of bitches ready to take the country back? 104 00:03:55,666 --> 00:03:59,802 Andy, are you coming? I had to start without you. 105 00:03:59,836 --> 00:04:03,305 (Gasps) Oh! Are you two the new neighbors? 106 00:04:03,339 --> 00:04:06,476 Hot damn, you two have pretty mouths. 107 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:07,944 Plus, with those bike shorts, 108 00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:09,311 you can totally see what he's packing. 109 00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:11,246 (Andy) - Check it. (Ellie) - Oh. 110 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,914 Seriously?! 111 00:04:12,949 --> 00:04:16,618 Oh! I think I sweated off my birth control patch. 112 00:04:16,652 --> 00:04:17,953 Ahh. 113 00:04:17,987 --> 00:04:20,322 - Baby, what is all over your head? - Huh? 114 00:04:20,356 --> 00:04:22,357 Oh, it's just some of that drywall. 115 00:04:22,425 --> 00:04:23,859 Oh. 116 00:04:23,893 --> 00:04:25,427 Sorry. 117 00:04:25,462 --> 00:04:26,829 (Both laugh) 118 00:04:26,863 --> 00:04:28,832 So when are you going back to Minnesota? 119 00:04:28,866 --> 00:04:31,000 I'm sure your family and all your buddies 120 00:04:31,035 --> 00:04:32,368 really wanna see you. 121 00:04:32,436 --> 00:04:33,870 Oh, I'm back for good. 122 00:04:33,937 --> 00:04:36,705 I just want to spend as much time with you as I can. 123 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:39,508 How long do I get to keep you here in Florida? 124 00:04:39,542 --> 00:04:40,809 Oh, I don't know. 125 00:04:40,843 --> 00:04:43,344 Until, uh... question mark? 126 00:04:43,378 --> 00:04:45,680 - Mmm. - Mmm. 127 00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:47,281 (Chuckles) 128 00:04:49,384 --> 00:04:50,984 Oh. What was that? 129 00:04:51,019 --> 00:04:52,452 - No, I'm good. I'm good. - You good? Yeah? 130 00:04:52,486 --> 00:04:54,854 - Yeah. - Okay. (Chuckles) 131 00:04:54,888 --> 00:04:56,389 All right, 132 00:04:56,456 --> 00:05:00,025 everybody, empty your pockets right now. 133 00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,527 Come on. You're gonna pay me back every cent 134 00:05:02,561 --> 00:05:04,328 you just lost me on that house. Let's go. 135 00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:06,664 $20, 136 00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:08,799 $51 137 00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:10,735 and a... 138 00:05:10,802 --> 00:05:12,370 That's my treasure map. 139 00:05:12,405 --> 00:05:13,838 For the hundredth time, 140 00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,540 that is a menu from Long John Silver's. 141 00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:19,210 Maybe we should all apologize to Grayson. 142 00:05:19,244 --> 00:05:20,878 I'm sorry, babe. 143 00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:22,780 - Sorry, babe. - Sorry, G-man. 144 00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:25,583 They were wearing spandex shorts. 145 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:27,219 I do not apologize. 146 00:05:27,253 --> 00:05:29,354 Those people could've turned out to be great. 147 00:05:29,389 --> 00:05:32,257 We can't choose our neighbors on first impressions. 148 00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:33,659 I mean, if you had done that, 149 00:05:33,693 --> 00:05:35,727 none of us would be here right now. 150 00:05:35,762 --> 00:05:36,929 When Jules and Bobby the cable guy here 151 00:05:36,996 --> 00:05:38,497 tried to buy this house, 152 00:05:38,531 --> 00:05:40,231 I was not thrilled. 153 00:05:40,266 --> 00:05:42,767 What was so awful about Jules? 154 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,268 (Thick Southern accent) Peanut. 155 00:05:44,336 --> 00:05:46,270 You got it, hot lips. 156 00:05:46,338 --> 00:05:48,239 Mmm. 157 00:05:48,274 --> 00:05:50,242 Oh, baby. 158 00:05:50,276 --> 00:05:51,943 It's perfect! 159 00:05:53,946 --> 00:05:56,615 Oh, my God. Rednecks. 160 00:05:56,649 --> 00:05:57,782 Hey, lady! 161 00:05:57,850 --> 00:06:00,285 Oh, I don't want that. 162 00:06:04,075 --> 00:06:06,608 Man! I can't wait to hear this story. 163 00:06:06,643 --> 00:06:08,477 You were there, you hillbilly. 164 00:06:08,511 --> 00:06:11,580 Yeah, but my memory's a little shaky ever since you... 165 00:06:12,716 --> 00:06:14,616 (Laughs) I can't remember. 166 00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:17,752 When I need to jog my memory, I just jolt my brain like this. 167 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,490 That plus that equals me. 168 00:06:21,524 --> 00:06:23,789 I want to know how you two ever became friends. 169 00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:26,786 - I mean, you're like a lovable little puppy... - Ooh. 170 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,954 And you're like a lady who eats puppies. 171 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,557 Is it weird that that makes me hungry? 172 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,625 Sweetie, I would love... 173 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,928 A burger and fries. On it. 174 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:42,835 (Laughs) Man, you should've seen J-bird back in the day. 175 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,438 Believe it or not, we were a bit on the white trash side. 176 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,440 Can you please not talk about that? 177 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:49,975 I mean, I'm not like that anymore. 178 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,410 Your past is who you are. You have to own it. 179 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:53,845 I mean, look at you. 180 00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:59,980 What? It feels good. 181 00:07:00,015 --> 00:07:01,649 Wait. Wait up! 182 00:07:01,683 --> 00:07:04,786 Hi. I'm Jules. You can call me J-bird. 183 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,488 - No, thank you. - This is my husband. 184 00:07:06,522 --> 00:07:08,590 Reginald Buttbart III. 185 00:07:08,624 --> 00:07:11,659 (Laughs) Joking. Name's Bobby Cobb. 186 00:07:11,694 --> 00:07:13,795 Are you two from Planet Nascar? 187 00:07:13,829 --> 00:07:15,497 Oh, that is a nice suit. 188 00:07:15,531 --> 00:07:16,931 Are you a weather girl? 189 00:07:16,966 --> 00:07:18,433 I'm a lawyer. 190 00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:19,767 - Ooh. - A girl lawyer? 191 00:07:19,802 --> 00:07:22,670 Wow! That sounds like a TV show. 192 00:07:22,705 --> 00:07:24,005 (Gruff voice) We gotta shake up this case. 193 00:07:24,039 --> 00:07:25,673 Bring in girl lawyer. 194 00:07:25,707 --> 00:07:27,975 Yeah, baby! It's like "Matlock" with knockers. 195 00:07:28,009 --> 00:07:30,077 Hey. So we really love this house. 196 00:07:30,111 --> 00:07:31,712 Do you know who's selling it? 197 00:07:31,747 --> 00:07:34,115 - Actually, Andy and I are. - Oh, that's great. 198 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,484 We're gonna be girlfriends, girlfriend. 199 00:07:36,518 --> 00:07:38,552 Me and you just tanning our cheeks 200 00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,988 - on the front lawn together. - I don't tan cheeks. 201 00:07:41,022 --> 00:07:44,024 Oh, honey, no man wants to tap a white ass. 202 00:07:44,058 --> 00:07:45,959 Thank you for that tip. 203 00:07:45,993 --> 00:07:47,994 Oh, wait. Do you know where this Andy fella is? 204 00:07:48,029 --> 00:07:49,395 He's up there. 205 00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:50,962 - Heaven? - Space? 206 00:07:50,997 --> 00:07:52,931 On the roof? 207 00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:54,532 (Gasps) Well, that was on the tip of my tongue. 208 00:07:54,566 --> 00:07:56,800 I want you on the tip of my tongue. 209 00:07:56,835 --> 00:07:58,702 Oh, come, baby. (Moans) 210 00:07:58,736 --> 00:08:00,504 Wait a second. 211 00:08:00,538 --> 00:08:03,373 If Ellie didn't like you, why did she agree to sell? 212 00:08:03,408 --> 00:08:04,975 She didn't. 213 00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:08,579 (Andy screaming) 214 00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:09,914 Oh! Oh! 215 00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:12,450 (Gasps) (Choir vocalizes) 216 00:08:12,484 --> 00:08:14,419 Hey, you. 217 00:08:14,486 --> 00:08:16,588 Hey. 218 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,723 And that's what we call a meet-cute. 219 00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:20,892 Get some friends your own age. 220 00:08:20,927 --> 00:08:22,494 (Chuckles) 221 00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:28,099 Can I get you two anything? 222 00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:30,835 Water? Beers? A cup of spermicide? 223 00:08:30,869 --> 00:08:32,904 I'll be right back, okay? I'm gonna call mom. 224 00:08:32,938 --> 00:08:35,573 Okay. Hurry back, baby. 225 00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:36,875 (Thud) 226 00:08:36,909 --> 00:08:39,611 - Did that hurt? - Yes. 227 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,115 Andy, I can't do this. 228 00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:44,884 Ow! 229 00:08:44,918 --> 00:08:48,788 I don't think that Wade's ever going home. 230 00:08:48,856 --> 00:08:51,991 Good. It'd be nice not being the only minority around here. 231 00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:54,460 Oh, right. 232 00:08:54,528 --> 00:08:56,429 You're Hispanic. I always forget that. 233 00:08:56,463 --> 00:08:58,097 Yeah, me, too. 234 00:08:58,131 --> 00:09:02,568 Andy, Wade said he's planning to stay "until question mark." 235 00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:03,903 When I'm at a party until question mark, 236 00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:06,039 it means I'm never leaving. 237 00:09:06,073 --> 00:09:08,775 Once I was at a rave so long that I forgot my own name, 238 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,478 shaved my head, and everyone started calling me Sasha. 239 00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:12,946 It turns out I was actually in a cult. 240 00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:14,781 They were fun guys. 241 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,584 They're all dead now. Mm. 242 00:09:17,618 --> 00:09:19,653 Welcome to your new home, Trav. 243 00:09:19,721 --> 00:09:21,054 Golf Heaven, Florida. 244 00:09:21,089 --> 00:09:23,391 It's Gulfhaven, Bobby. 245 00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,860 (Gasps) Oh, look. It's girl lawyer. 246 00:09:25,894 --> 00:09:27,528 Watch me make friends. 247 00:09:27,563 --> 00:09:29,096 (Ellie) All right, but I need those briefs today. 248 00:09:29,131 --> 00:09:32,500 Well, I'll try, but I am swamped with other law stuff. 249 00:09:32,568 --> 00:09:34,702 Okay. But let's skip the motion to dismiss 250 00:09:34,736 --> 00:09:36,805 and just move for summary judgment now. 251 00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:38,406 Well, that sounds like a good idea. 252 00:09:38,441 --> 00:09:41,442 I hear Judge Wapner's in a crap mood. 253 00:09:41,477 --> 00:09:43,645 - I'm on the phone! - Well, that's what makes it funny. 254 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:45,146 I'll call you back. 255 00:09:45,181 --> 00:09:47,482 Tonight's our first night in the new house. 256 00:09:47,516 --> 00:09:49,050 What do you say you and Andy come over for dinner? 257 00:09:49,085 --> 00:09:50,818 I'll cook you something real nice. 258 00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:52,554 - Squirrel? - Don't be ridiculous. 259 00:09:52,588 --> 00:09:54,823 It's summer. 260 00:09:54,857 --> 00:09:56,424 What do you say? 261 00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:57,659 Oh, I get it. 262 00:09:57,693 --> 00:09:59,427 You're the lonely, needy girl 263 00:09:59,462 --> 00:10:01,997 who pushes her way into people's lives. 264 00:10:02,031 --> 00:10:03,565 So sad. 265 00:10:03,599 --> 00:10:06,468 Have a great day, y'all. 266 00:10:06,502 --> 00:10:07,836 Her-dee-der! 267 00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,669 Yeah! Her-dee-der! 268 00:10:09,704 --> 00:10:12,638 I am not needy! 269 00:10:12,672 --> 00:10:14,874 I'm gonna make that pale-ass icy bitch love me 270 00:10:14,908 --> 00:10:17,477 whether she likes it or not. 271 00:10:17,511 --> 00:10:19,579 Wait. Where's Travis? 272 00:10:19,613 --> 00:10:23,184 ♪ 273 00:10:31,168 --> 00:10:33,569 Oh! 274 00:10:33,603 --> 00:10:37,439 Oh! Drink up, bitch! 275 00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:38,908 Whoa. 276 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,210 What? You never seen cousins fountain-fight 277 00:10:41,245 --> 00:10:42,712 over a Jeff Gordon sweat rag? 278 00:10:42,746 --> 00:10:44,547 (Siren wailing) 279 00:10:44,581 --> 00:10:46,115 Catch you later, cutie. 280 00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:51,020 Even you and Laurie had a meet-cute? 281 00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:53,122 If you're asking if we had a moment in which destiny itself 282 00:10:53,157 --> 00:10:55,460 reached down and tapped us on the shoulders, 283 00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:57,632 as if to say, "you could one day end up together," 284 00:10:57,666 --> 00:11:00,068 then the answer is yes, we had that moment, 285 00:11:00,102 --> 00:11:02,604 and no, you did not. 286 00:11:02,639 --> 00:11:05,507 Oh, honey. Did you not tell them about our plunger story? 287 00:11:11,748 --> 00:11:13,515 I was gone for 30 seconds. 288 00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:15,517 There were two burgers and fries in there. 289 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,153 I eat when I'm freaked, okay? 290 00:11:18,187 --> 00:11:19,755 I love Wade, 291 00:11:19,789 --> 00:11:21,856 but until yesterday, he was just a long disty. 292 00:11:21,891 --> 00:11:23,625 And, yes, I maybe told him that I wanted to have 293 00:11:23,693 --> 00:11:26,195 beautiful half-black, naturally blonde babies with him, 294 00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:27,763 but that doesn't mean that I'm ready 295 00:11:27,797 --> 00:11:29,565 for things to be super serious. (Sighs) 296 00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:32,134 I really think that he and I need to slow things down. 297 00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:33,869 Yeah, that's not gonna work. 298 00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:35,771 You two have been taking it slow for over a year, 299 00:11:35,805 --> 00:11:37,773 and now he's home and he's probably looking to see 300 00:11:37,807 --> 00:11:40,009 if this is gonna be something real. 301 00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:43,479 Laurie, you're either on that train with him or you're not. 302 00:11:43,514 --> 00:11:44,948 Maybe he's not totally on it. 303 00:11:44,982 --> 00:11:48,585 Maybe he wants to slow the train down, too, you know? 304 00:11:48,619 --> 00:11:49,954 - Hey. Sorry. - Oh. Hi. Hi. 305 00:11:49,988 --> 00:11:51,668 Hey. Um, mom won't let me get off the phone 306 00:11:51,724 --> 00:11:53,591 until I tell you you're invited for Easter. 307 00:11:53,626 --> 00:11:55,159 Oh, that's so sweet. 308 00:11:55,227 --> 00:11:56,628 Yeah. 309 00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:59,130 All aboard! 310 00:11:59,164 --> 00:12:01,764 (Knocks on door) 311 00:12:01,798 --> 00:12:05,668 Hi. I'm not much of a wine gal, but this guy I met downtown 312 00:12:05,735 --> 00:12:08,638 told me this stuff is perfect for making friends. 313 00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:10,973 What do you say? 314 00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,642 Ow! Ah! 315 00:12:12,676 --> 00:12:14,444 Why would you put your foot in the door 316 00:12:14,478 --> 00:12:16,012 if you're not wearing shoes? 317 00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:18,414 Seems dumb now. 318 00:12:18,449 --> 00:12:20,783 Oh, yeah. This toenail's a goner. 319 00:12:20,818 --> 00:12:23,152 Are you comfortable there? Do you need a banjo? 320 00:12:23,187 --> 00:12:26,022 Great. More redneck jokes. 321 00:12:26,056 --> 00:12:28,490 So... tell me about you and Andy. 322 00:12:28,525 --> 00:12:30,490 How long have you two been married? 323 00:12:30,524 --> 00:12:33,126 - We're not married. - Oh. Is he gay? 324 00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:34,761 I'm not talking to you about this. 325 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:35,996 (Gasps) Are you gay? 326 00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:38,165 Look, you dress like a boy. 327 00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:40,934 I've died, and this is my hell. 328 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,135 Well, why aren't you two married? 329 00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:43,636 Wha-- doesn't he love you? 330 00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:44,838 Yes. 331 00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,873 I don't know. Maybe. 332 00:12:46,907 --> 00:12:48,541 Here it comes. 333 00:12:48,576 --> 00:12:50,844 (Sighs) I love that hairy little bald guy so much, 334 00:12:50,878 --> 00:12:52,679 but we've been together for three years. 335 00:12:52,713 --> 00:12:54,681 He still hasn't pulled the trigger. 336 00:12:54,715 --> 00:12:57,551 He's got me wrapped around his finger, J-bird. 337 00:12:57,585 --> 00:12:59,553 What if he never asks? 338 00:12:59,587 --> 00:13:01,154 (Clicks tongue) 339 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,491 What did I do? 340 00:13:08,563 --> 00:13:12,566 Promise me you'll never tell anyone this. 341 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,768 I promise. 342 00:13:14,802 --> 00:13:16,770 (Gasps) Right. 343 00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:18,971 Shoot. 344 00:13:22,254 --> 00:13:23,714 Let's start with the bad thing I did. 345 00:13:23,883 --> 00:13:25,850 I told your secret. 346 00:13:25,885 --> 00:13:28,787 But the great thing? I kept it for years. 347 00:13:28,822 --> 00:13:30,489 The only secret I kept longer 348 00:13:30,523 --> 00:13:33,158 was the one about Travis and his second grade girlfriend-- 349 00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:35,093 this blonde gal named Erin, 350 00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:37,930 who, turns out, wasn't a girl. 351 00:13:37,964 --> 00:13:41,900 I'm not kidding. They actually kissed. 352 00:13:41,935 --> 00:13:44,436 I-I just don't know why you're so upset. 353 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:48,440 Because when we met, I was a successful attorney. 354 00:13:48,474 --> 00:13:50,008 Jules, I used to make judges cry. 355 00:13:50,043 --> 00:13:51,944 They called me "Tiger Bitch." 356 00:13:51,978 --> 00:13:53,678 Grayson still does. 357 00:13:53,713 --> 00:13:56,581 Now the one thing that makes me feel good about myself 358 00:13:56,615 --> 00:13:58,149 is that I have a husband 359 00:13:58,183 --> 00:14:01,186 who has worshiped me since the day we met. 360 00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:03,789 I feel embarrassed now that everybody knows that 361 00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:06,958 that wasn't always the case. 362 00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:09,428 (Clicks tongue) I'm sorry. 363 00:14:09,462 --> 00:14:11,096 It's okay. 364 00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:12,732 Question-- 365 00:14:12,766 --> 00:14:15,367 does Travis know that Erin was a boy? 366 00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:17,602 Don't ever tell him. 367 00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:18,836 (Bobby) And when I got to the other end 368 00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:20,802 of that spaghetti string, 369 00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,770 there he was. 370 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,040 The ultimate meet-cute. 371 00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:28,710 So you're claiming you went to an Italian restaurant, 372 00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:29,978 didn't realize that they also sat 373 00:14:30,012 --> 00:14:32,648 a 300-pound animal at your table, 374 00:14:32,682 --> 00:14:34,917 and then you and this dog 375 00:14:34,951 --> 00:14:36,819 also picked up the opposite ends of the same noodle, 376 00:14:36,853 --> 00:14:39,721 and continued to slurp until your lips met? 377 00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,456 Sounds real to me. 378 00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:42,724 I mean, that's why they became best friends. 379 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:43,925 The idea that there is such a thing 380 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,428 as a spontaneous, magical moment 381 00:14:46,462 --> 00:14:49,764 where two people lock eyes and have an instant connection 382 00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:51,566 is stupid and fake 383 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,400 and... damn it! 384 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:55,869 Why couldn't I have had a moment like that with Jules?! 385 00:14:55,904 --> 00:14:57,738 (Bobby snickers) 386 00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,440 Told you this would be fun. 387 00:14:59,474 --> 00:15:00,674 Yep. 388 00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:02,376 (Clink) 389 00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:04,411 No, mom, Laurie eats ham. 390 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:07,314 Okay, no, y-you don't have to make anything special. 391 00:15:07,382 --> 00:15:11,385 If Wade stays in Florida, it's just to be with me. 392 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:12,620 That's too much pressure. 393 00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:14,455 I like Wade. 394 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,124 He corrected my Dougie. 395 00:15:16,158 --> 00:15:18,727 I was putting way too much elbow into it. 396 00:15:18,761 --> 00:15:20,922 - Yeah, he's a really good dancer. - Yeah, really good. 397 00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:23,965 But, Andy, what's next? Marriage? 398 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,434 I'm used to having my own space. 399 00:15:26,469 --> 00:15:28,637 And his bags are just sitting there in my living room, 400 00:15:28,671 --> 00:15:31,606 all piled up, waitin' to be unpacked. 401 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,942 It's literally my worst nightmare. 402 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,779 My worst nightmare is cats walking on two legs. 403 00:15:36,813 --> 00:15:39,014 Just... (Meowing) 404 00:15:39,049 --> 00:15:40,783 What are you doing? 405 00:15:40,817 --> 00:15:43,052 Look, letting Wade into your life is a big risk, 406 00:15:43,086 --> 00:15:44,620 but give it a shot. 407 00:15:44,654 --> 00:15:46,455 If it doesn't feel right, then bail, 408 00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:48,457 but don't miss out just because you're scared. 409 00:15:48,491 --> 00:15:51,426 Trust me, I almost made that mistake. 410 00:15:51,461 --> 00:15:55,998 Hey, you think I can get this penny in that can? 411 00:15:56,032 --> 00:15:57,432 (Clink) 412 00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:59,067 - Ohh! - Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 413 00:15:59,102 --> 00:16:01,837 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 414 00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,372 What should we call it? 415 00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:05,374 (Deep voice) - Penny toss. (Deep voice) - Penny toss. 416 00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:07,409 - Mm? - Mm, nah. Let's keep thinking. 417 00:16:07,443 --> 00:16:09,378 Mm? (Chuckles) 418 00:16:09,412 --> 00:16:10,846 Hey! 419 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,848 Are you gonna ask Ellie to marry you or what? 420 00:16:12,882 --> 00:16:14,516 Uh, is she serious? 421 00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:16,385 Well? 422 00:16:16,419 --> 00:16:17,786 Look, lady I just met, 423 00:16:17,821 --> 00:16:20,456 Ellie's great, but I still have questions. 424 00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,858 I mean, is she the one? Will she be a good mom? 425 00:16:22,892 --> 00:16:24,993 Is she only with me because her mom-- 426 00:16:25,028 --> 00:16:27,963 and I quote-- hates the ethnics? 427 00:16:27,997 --> 00:16:30,365 Look, I get that Ellie is difficult. 428 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,368 I mean, she can be downright nasty. 429 00:16:32,402 --> 00:16:33,802 Abrasive, contentious... 430 00:16:33,837 --> 00:16:35,370 - Horrible! - Spiteful... 431 00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:37,406 - Grizzly! - Vile... 432 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,808 - Snakelike. - We're running out of different ways to say "mean." 433 00:16:39,842 --> 00:16:41,377 But I do love her. 434 00:16:41,411 --> 00:16:42,778 So you're just scared. 435 00:16:42,812 --> 00:16:45,581 Well, not cat-walking-on-two-legs scared, 436 00:16:45,615 --> 00:16:47,816 but... yeah. 437 00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:49,117 She's a bitch. 438 00:16:49,152 --> 00:16:50,719 That's a good one. 439 00:16:50,753 --> 00:16:52,521 We're done with that. 440 00:16:52,555 --> 00:16:55,858 Okay, you need to sac up before you lose Ellie forever. 441 00:16:58,795 --> 00:16:59,995 Jules! 442 00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:01,729 Oh! Cool! 443 00:17:01,764 --> 00:17:04,699 It's like I work at Taco Bell. What's up? 444 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,668 I just wanted to say, 445 00:17:06,702 --> 00:17:09,871 look at my ring, my ring, my ring. 446 00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,473 He proposed! 447 00:17:11,507 --> 00:17:13,875 Get over here and let me see that thing. 448 00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,410 Aah! 449 00:17:15,444 --> 00:17:17,011 I'm sorry I just screamed in your face. 450 00:17:17,046 --> 00:17:18,880 Oh, I get that a lot. 451 00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:21,450 The name's Tom. I, uh, live across the street. 452 00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:25,521 Before you say what we're both thinking, I'm married. 453 00:17:25,556 --> 00:17:27,723 I'm kinda diggin' this flirty thing we got going, 454 00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:30,626 sort of a "will they or won't they?" Vibe. 455 00:17:30,693 --> 00:17:33,028 (Sighs) We're gonna have fun with this. 456 00:17:33,062 --> 00:17:35,062 Okay, well, I'm not sure what you're talking about, 457 00:17:35,064 --> 00:17:36,731 but, um, nice to meet you. 458 00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,600 Pop in any time you want. 459 00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:41,636 Ah, you'd like that, dirty bird. 460 00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:44,072 Ew. 461 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:47,775 (Gasps) My goodness, that rock is huge! 462 00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:50,111 Mine's half the size and it's fake. (Chuckles) 463 00:17:50,146 --> 00:17:52,046 I thought we could finally drink this. 464 00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:53,915 Does this mean what I think it means? 465 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,450 We're friends, aren't we? 466 00:17:55,484 --> 00:17:56,952 (Gasps) Let's get matching toe rings. 467 00:17:56,986 --> 00:17:59,654 Not unless we're forced to at gunpoint. 468 00:18:00,923 --> 00:18:03,424 - There you go. - Thanks. 469 00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:05,660 Bring it in. 470 00:18:05,728 --> 00:18:06,928 (Sets down bottle) Oh, I don't. 471 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:08,363 - Oh, come on. - That's not my-- 472 00:18:08,397 --> 00:18:10,631 - uhh! - Aw! 473 00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:11,999 Ohh! 474 00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,569 I'm not gonna let go till you hug me. 475 00:18:14,603 --> 00:18:16,003 Wow, you're annoying. 476 00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:17,938 I know! But I'll always have your back. 477 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:20,075 And I'm more loyal than I am mean. 478 00:18:20,109 --> 00:18:22,945 Oh. Well, you're real loyal, aren't you? 479 00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:25,480 - Yeah. - Okay. 480 00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:26,781 (Clink) Cheers. 481 00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,082 Cheers. 482 00:18:28,117 --> 00:18:29,650 Mm. 483 00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:31,452 I love this stuff! 484 00:18:31,487 --> 00:18:34,122 (Gasps) I need a bigger glass. Mm! 485 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,856 - And we sip it. - Mm! 486 00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:37,324 I don't. (Chuckles) 487 00:18:37,358 --> 00:18:39,593 Wow. 488 00:18:39,627 --> 00:18:41,962 I'm so glad we found each other. 489 00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:43,496 The cracker and the bitch. 490 00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,365 (Chuckles) It's like what you said. 491 00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,033 Our past is who we are. 492 00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:49,603 We have to own it. 493 00:18:49,637 --> 00:18:52,473 (Sighs deeply) 494 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:57,545 (Avalanche City) ♪ if only life would lean our way ♪ 495 00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:58,813 Go. 496 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,911 - Do I have to? - Yes. 497 00:19:00,946 --> 00:19:02,617 ♪ We'd run away to be ♪ 498 00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:06,354 ♪ wherever our adventure waits ♪ 499 00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:08,055 Since the day we met, 500 00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:10,758 I always thought you were too good for me. 501 00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:12,026 I love you. 502 00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:13,927 Laurie ate your burger, 503 00:19:13,962 --> 00:19:16,864 and then I ordered you another burger, 504 00:19:16,898 --> 00:19:18,432 and I ate that burger. 505 00:19:18,466 --> 00:19:19,700 It's all right. 506 00:19:19,734 --> 00:19:21,635 ♪ A distant memory ♪ 507 00:19:21,670 --> 00:19:26,540 ♪ nobody could tell us to stay ♪ 508 00:19:29,745 --> 00:19:32,480 Hey. 509 00:19:32,514 --> 00:19:33,948 What are you doing? 510 00:19:33,982 --> 00:19:36,517 I'm just trying to get my stuff out of your way. 511 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:39,486 I tell you what. 512 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,721 Why don't we go unpack them? 513 00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,090 Really? 514 00:19:43,157 --> 00:19:45,525 Yeah. I can find some room. 515 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,827 ♪ My way, I heard your heart... ♪ 516 00:19:47,862 --> 00:19:50,598 Hey, do you ever wish we had a cute magical story 517 00:19:50,665 --> 00:19:52,033 about how we met? 518 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,434 ♪ I heard your heart saying... ♪ 519 00:19:53,502 --> 00:19:54,668 Sweetie, 520 00:19:54,703 --> 00:19:56,770 I wouldn't change a thing. 521 00:19:56,838 --> 00:20:00,040 ♪ I heard your heart saying love, love, love ♪ 522 00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,442 Oh, gosh! 523 00:20:01,476 --> 00:20:04,078 - Oh, I'm so sorry! - Oh! Sorry. 524 00:20:04,112 --> 00:20:05,646 (Gasps) Oh, my goodness! 525 00:20:05,681 --> 00:20:07,548 I just-- I've been so scattered lately. 526 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,984 I've been trying to win over this neighbor of mine, 527 00:20:10,018 --> 00:20:11,586 and she's a pretty sophisticated gal, 528 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:14,588 and... (Chuckles) well, I'm not. So... 529 00:20:14,622 --> 00:20:16,156 - here you go. - Oh, thanks. 530 00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:18,053 Uh, you know what? 531 00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:20,584 Why don't you take this? It's great for making friends. 532 00:20:20,618 --> 00:20:22,619 Okay. Thanks. 533 00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:23,853 Bye. 534 00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:25,121 (Grunts) 535 00:20:25,155 --> 00:20:27,023 ♪ Whoa, oh ♪ 536 00:20:27,057 --> 00:20:30,592 ♪ love, love, love ♪ 537 00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,107 Travis? 538 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,310 Hi. 539 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:47,380 (Chuckles) I'm sorry. I'm not sure how we know each other. 540 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,315 It's me. Erin. 541 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,383 We were in second grade together. 542 00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,621 (Inhales sharply) 543 00:20:54,655 --> 00:20:55,822 Great seeing you, man. 544 00:20:55,856 --> 00:20:57,724 You, too, dude. 545 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:08,463 Sync and corrections by n17t01 Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne www.addic7ed.com