1 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:05,704 With a few alterations, 2 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,140 Ryan shay and I were making it work. 3 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,142 Who woulda thunk it? 4 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,677 We made it through three major holidays, 5 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,045 a tooth extraction, 6 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:15,447 and a herpes scare that turned out to be an ingrown. 7 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,383 We'd gotten through it all expertly, 8 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:20,219 which made me something of a relationship expert. 9 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:23,689 It's just, I see the way Ryan looks at you. 10 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,124 Mikey doesn't look at me that way. 11 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,127 The right guy, he's out there, justine. Okay? 12 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:32,131 And if you ask me, it's Todd from precal. 13 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:35,567 Once he gets his headgear off, he's gonna be a stone cold fox. 14 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,536 Thanks for stopping by. Next! 15 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,409 Let me guess. 16 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:46,912 Boys can't see past the chair. Am I right? 17 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,080 Have you thought about 18 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,916 decorating the wheels in an eye-catching fashion? 19 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,418 I need to pee. 20 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,153 Oh. 21 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,988 Naomi aside, everyone else seemed to agree 22 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:57,589 that when it came to relationships, 23 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,325 "ask Tessa" was the go-to girl. 24 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:04,063 I wouldn't. 25 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:05,864 What? 26 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:09,234 I wouldn't feed him out of the palm of your hand. 27 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,103 You're emasculating him, Lisa. 28 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,505 Sorry, don't you have your own boyfriend to worry about? 29 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,607 He's at an away game, and I think you know that. 30 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,909 Students, 31 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:19,178 in preparation for our new ravioli bar-- 32 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,412 we have a ravioli bar?! 33 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,047 Not yet. I said "in preparation." 34 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:24,383 For the next several weeks, chef Alan will be training 35 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:27,586 under a highly gay and attractive raviologist-- 36 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,354 chef Norman neuman. 37 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:31,457 I know what you're thinking, and yes, 38 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:35,260 he was chef Alan's first homosexual lover. 39 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,465 I'm gonna let that sink in for a moment. 40 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:43,235 And now I'm going to ask 41 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,304 that you welcome Norman with open arms, 42 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,206 as chef Alan used to. 43 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:50,542 Uh-oh, looks like somebody's relationship's gonna need 44 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,511 a whole mess'a "ask Tessa." 45 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:56,482 No. No. 46 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,283 -- Captions by vita-- 47 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,961 I'll just grab a robe. 48 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,896 Oh. You didn't get my message? 49 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,464 Yves Clyde is running a bit behind. 50 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,000 We're gonna need to reschedule. Reschedule? 51 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,269 This is the third time y'all have canceled on me this week. 52 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:20,139 I am wearing multiple sunglasses to hide my root situation, 53 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,840 but this can't persist! 54 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,976 I am so sorry, miss royce. 55 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:28,647 Yves Clyde has a new client who's proved very demanding. 56 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,482 Take your time, yves Clyde. 57 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,617 I want it all! 58 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,185 Lowlights, midlights, highlights. 59 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,820 And I wanna hear 60 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,456 absolutely everything there is to know about your yorkie. 61 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,758 Noah Werner! 62 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,927 Does this vendetta know no bounds? 63 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,128 It's boundless. 64 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,463 You stole Carmen. 65 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,166 Carmen was returned to my employ 66 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,433 by father Christmas. 67 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,303 Plus, you stole ashanti our dog Walker, 68 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,305 and you don't even have a dog! 69 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,806 Well, we're thinking about getting one 70 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,808 now that we have the right team in place! 71 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,044 And how dare you, madame? 72 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,113 You poached Sean our mattress flipper! 73 00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,115 His name is Shane. 74 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:06,952 See? I'm too sleep-deprived to even remember his name. 75 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:09,021 That's what it's come to! 76 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,989 We need to get you rinsed out. 77 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,559 We want you summersy, not Suzanne somers-y. 78 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,361 Ohh! 79 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,498 This isn't over. 80 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,901 I will not rest until I have stolen your g.P., 81 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,138 your e.N.T., and your ob-gyn, 82 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,240 even if I have to grow my own lady parts! 83 00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,144 Oh. Sorry about that. 84 00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:36,181 I'm afraid Noah's been a bit unhinged ever since Carmen left. 85 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:40,252 I have my regrets about the way it ended. 86 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,422 Is she... happy? 87 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,923 Who? Carmen? Mm. 88 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,225 Oh, she's thriving. She's gained her weight back. 89 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,226 She's showing affection. 90 00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,261 She stopped tearing her slippers apart. 91 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,729 She's in a good home now. 92 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,930 I'm glad to hear it. 93 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,199 I wish I could say the same about my husband. 94 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,268 These days, coaching that t-ball team of his 95 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,771 is the only thing that gives him any normal joy. 96 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,241 Huh. 97 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,375 Funny. 98 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,244 I've recently developed 99 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:08,280 a keen interest in t-balls myself. 100 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,449 Oh. 101 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,252 Hey, Mr. wolfe. 102 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,020 Anything I can help you with? 103 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,722 No, I'm good, but thanks. 104 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,357 You sure? 105 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,424 Positive. 106 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,394 There's nothin' you wanna "ask Tessa"? 107 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,695 Trademark pending. 108 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,297 I feel like you're asking me to ask you something, 109 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,531 but I'm not sure what you're asking me, 110 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,200 and I'm afraid to ask. 111 00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:29,735 Well, it's just that you've been standing there, 112 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:34,873 staring at chefs Alan and Norman for two periods now. 113 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,042 I can tell. 114 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,378 You are terrified by the idea 115 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,480 of them working so closely together, 116 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:42,981 clog-by-clog. 117 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,917 Wow. You really know your stuff, "ask Tessa." 118 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,086 Now I don't know if I announced this part at lunch, 119 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,323 but Alan was married when he met Norman at culinary school. 120 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,891 He left Nora for Norman. 121 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,293 Mm-hmm. 122 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,328 Who wouldn't be attracted to Norman? 123 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,763 He's a norseman. 124 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,331 Didn't realize he was from Norway. 125 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,832 He's not. 126 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,434 It's gay slang, and I'd rather not define it for you. 127 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,303 I know why you feel threatened, 128 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,837 and it is because he is a threat. 129 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,674 I trust Alan. It's the norseman-- 130 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,442 that is why you need to up your game. 131 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:13,278 He's the catch of the day, and... 132 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,514 You are Friday's chili 133 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,416 made with Thursday's hamburger meat. 134 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,419 Ouch. Yeah, well, "ask Tessa" tells it like it is. 135 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,254 Do not ignore your instincts, or mine. 136 00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:25,290 Remind chef Alan 137 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,994 that the wolf has not been tamed. 138 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:32,097 Release the wild wolf he once fell in love with. 139 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,999 Thanks, "ask Tessa." 140 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,369 No thanks needed. It is what "ask Tessa" does. 141 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,310 Looks good to me. You're beautiful as always. 142 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,278 You just think it looks beautiful 143 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,679 'cause you're ignorant. 144 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,282 When it comes to this stuff, you are ignorant, George. 145 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:52,217 It's not beautiful. It's satisfactory. 146 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,685 Why? Susan did it. 147 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:57,189 She's a shampoo lady! A head washer. 148 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,191 Well, I think Susan really stepped up to the plate. 149 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:02,127 She did no such thing, you ignorant fool. 150 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,363 And furthermore, 151 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:07,032 she was unable to regale me with stories about her toy dog 152 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,400 or celebrities gossip 153 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,002 or what it's like vacationing in the Swiss alps. 154 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,571 She just talked about her mother, 155 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,539 who apparently has lupus. 156 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:19,411 Nothing entertaining about that. That's just sad. 157 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,379 Well, just because Noah's being petty 158 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,813 doesn't mean you have to be. 159 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,583 It's time to take the high road and disengage. 160 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,218 Pull out of this war. 161 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,887 Hell to the no. It's time to serve. Serve. 162 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,390 I'm gonna climb on his back and t-ball him. 163 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,025 What? Oh, he likes coaching t-ball? 164 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,061 I'm gonna take away his little bad news bears... 165 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,930 On their own field of dreams like a natural. 166 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,533 You know what? I actually think that's a good idea. 167 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,168 You do? I do. 168 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,871 Look, I think a baseball game is a relatively healthy way 169 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,672 to settle things between you and Noah-- 170 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,041 if it will, in fact, settle things. 171 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,444 Do you think this will finally help you let go of your grudge? 172 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:55,547 If I win. 173 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,951 You wanted to see me? 174 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,686 In your den? 175 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,090 Tessa, please have a seat. 176 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,626 You ruined my life. 177 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,294 What? What happened? 178 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,363 What didn't? 179 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:17,569 You said to remind him of how we first fell in love. 180 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,471 Well, we fell in love at xanadude, 181 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,907 the first gay roller rink in chatswin. 182 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,576 You said unleash the wolf! 183 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:27,579 I didn't say to unleash the purple hot pants! 184 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,315 Alan is silently furious with me. 185 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,950 It's his quiet I fear most. 186 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,652 And also his leaving me for Norman. 187 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:34,953 And also dying alone. 188 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,321 And shiny floors. 189 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,556 I have a lot of fears. 190 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,124 Maybe he's not as mad as you think. 191 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,428 Let me suss it out. 192 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,130 Got it. What should I do? 193 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,731 Change. 194 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,503 Listen up, y'all! 195 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,005 First, assume a wide stance. 196 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,842 Second, squirt a dime-sized portion of sunscreen 197 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,243 into your palm. 198 00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,511 Make sure it's oil-free. 199 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,813 And then you're gonna apply it with a sweeping motion. 200 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,316 Start at the base of your throat and sweep upwards. 201 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:05,584 Upwards. 202 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,452 Upwards, Keith. 203 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:08,587 Uh, coach? 204 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,689 You might wanna get to the actual sport. 205 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,257 Practice is only an hour. 206 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,425 Well, George, I was getting to that. 207 00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:16,828 Now... I need each of you 208 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,865 to develop your very own fancy run. 209 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,367 This is a perfect way to express your individuality 210 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,302 while you're running towards that... 211 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,537 Filthy pillow. 212 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,205 Also known as first base. 213 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,307 George, you're confusing them with your jargon. 214 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,809 Okay. 215 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,344 Nicole, I know you love unicorns. 216 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,712 Let me see a unicorn run. 217 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,447 Yes! 218 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,483 Ohh, I love it, Nicole! 219 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,485 I feel like I'm in narnia! 220 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,153 Maybe you should have the kids practice hitting. 221 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,456 George, I'm sorry, but I can't condone violence. 222 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,590 Not now, not ever. 223 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,961 Wow. 224 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:53,031 I've never been in the cafeteria after school. 225 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,466 You think the ice cream is unlocked? 226 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,134 This will only take a minute. 227 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,203 I just have to suss out to Alan. 228 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,472 Never takes me long to suss. 229 00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:03,742 Don't you have your own relationship to "suss"? 230 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,377 I told you. He's at an away game. 231 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,711 Ooh! Oh! 232 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,913 I don't know. I just... 233 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,248 I feel very anxious about the whole thing. 234 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,984 It's not anxiety. It's excitement. 235 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,587 Promise me you'll come tomorrow night. 236 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:16,688 Who am I kidding? I... 237 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,523 I won't be able to stop myself. 238 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:21,026 It will be a night to remember. 239 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,162 Okay. I'm gonna hold you to that. 240 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,631 Yeah, I'll rush over as soon as wolfe leaves for boxing. 241 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,168 Oh, gogh. 242 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,337 Oh, my God! 243 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,572 Chef Alan's cheating! 244 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:36,608 Oh, my God. Mr. wolfe boxes? 245 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,877 Unless that's gay slang. 246 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,948 Okay, after watching today's practice, 247 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,649 it's clear to me you know little if anything about the game. 248 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,184 I don't mean to be harsh, 249 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,486 but there is no way you are going to win. 250 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:51,456 George, take that back. Failure is not an option. 251 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,124 It's one of my top three most hated things, 252 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,194 right behind decorated denim and pinheads. 253 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,196 Well, I'm sorry, but you can't have a t-ball team 254 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,664 that doesn't know how to play t-ball. 255 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,167 Will you help us? 256 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,470 I really don't want to get involved 257 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:06,938 in this feud between you and Noah. 258 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,840 But how are we supposed to settle it fair and square 259 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,209 when our team is at a distinct disadvantage, 260 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,045 on account of me not knowing Jack squat about t-ball? 261 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,313 You got a point. 262 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,215 Plus, I'm your girl. 263 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,819 You can't just left another man take a dookie on my dignity. 264 00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:23,688 Dallas, all right. 265 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,557 If I agree to help you out, 266 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,159 we've gotta focus on the fundamentals, not the fun. 267 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,061 Sure! That sounds like fun. 268 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,496 What? No, it's not. 269 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,697 Right. 270 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,133 What I meant was, it sounds like a real good time. 271 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,335 It's not gonna be a good time. It's gonna be lots of work. 272 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,005 But in the end, 273 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,408 the hard work will pay off when we defeat Noah Werner, 274 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,176 and that'll be fun. 275 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,748 Look, I know some of you are disappointed. 276 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,584 You--you miss Dallas' way of doing things, 277 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:55,020 and you miss your sparkly uniforms. 278 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,155 But those uniforms were hurting us. 279 00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,191 Mine didn't hurt. It did, Kevin. You just didn't know it did. 280 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,494 My name's not Kevin. It's kevuel. 281 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,062 I'm kimantha's brother. 282 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,832 Okay. Gang, to win, 283 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,069 we're gonna have to look and act normal, 284 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,171 like professional t-ball players. 285 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,739 So from this point on, 286 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,074 kevuel's gonna be "Kevin," 287 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:19,544 and all of us are gonna focus on fundamentals. 288 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,379 We're gonna work on our fielding, 289 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,081 we're gonna work on our hitting, 290 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,383 and we're gonna work on building a winning team-- 291 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,885 if that's okay. 292 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,054 Is that okay? 293 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:32,057 I said, is that okay?! 294 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,558 Yeah, it's okay, George. 295 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,694 But can we still do our fancy runs? 296 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,462 No. No! No fancy runs. 297 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,531 But our fancy runs show the other team 298 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,399 our individuality! 299 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,601 Yeah! No. No, Nicole. No, our fancy runs show the other team 300 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,071 we have no idea what we're doing. 301 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,972 All right, guys. Let's get to work! Grab your mitts! 302 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,140 Get out there! Let's go! 303 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,079 Keep it up! Keep it up! 304 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,082 Let's go! Let's go! Keep 'em goin'. Come on! 305 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,217 Come on! Push it! Push it! 306 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,486 Push it! Come on! Push it! 307 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,595 uhh! 308 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:12,497 All right, guys. Here we go. 309 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,665 Let's hit some balls. 310 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:14,766 Uhh! 311 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,301 Uh... not bad. Not bad. 312 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,136 Good cut. Good cut. 313 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,107 Okay. Gotta--you gotta look at the ball. 314 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,308 Uhh! Mm! 315 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,677 Hey. Okay. Hey! Come on now! Come on! 316 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,585 Focus up, guys. Focus up. Eye on the ball! 317 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,987 Watch the ball go all the way into your glove. 318 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,122 Here we go. Here it comes. 319 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,125 Ooh! Oh! K-kev! 320 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,427 Stay in front of those! Jenni could've gotten that one. 321 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,162 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 322 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,096 Nothing. 323 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,931 You mean because I'm a girl? 324 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,434 No. No, I mean because you're... not good. 325 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,203 I'm tired. Do you have any frozen treats? 326 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,139 Frozen treats?! What?! 327 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,608 I'm your coach. I'm not the ice cream man. 328 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,878 I don't even think this jackass has a juice box on him. 329 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,213 Yeah, and he's sexist. Okay, you know what? 330 00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,215 It'd be sexist if I didn't tell you the truth. 331 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,517 Ugh! 332 00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:06,951 Okay, she's angry. Good! I quit! 333 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,053 That's good! We can use that anger! 334 00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,222 George, I think you're losing 'em. 335 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,124 I'm not losing them. I'm--I'm breaking them. 336 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,859 And then I'm gonna rebuild them! 337 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,861 Oh! You mean like Jill Werner did 338 00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,630 with her premarital hook nose? 339 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,331 Kind of. 340 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,234 Stand up, guys. Come on! Stand up! 341 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,136 St--I'm--I'm gonna hit it either way! 342 00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:33,645 He really is boxing. That is not gay slang. 343 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,347 Punch with your legs, not your ovaries. 344 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,217 Mr. wolfe, what are you doing? 345 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,585 I'm training the next 346 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,253 middleweight champion of the world. What are you doing? 347 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:45,390 There is so much we don't know about his private life. 348 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,759 Mr. wolfe, I really need to talk to you. 349 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:51,429 You might wanna sit down for this. 350 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,405 It's worse than I thought. 351 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,273 Chefs Alan and Norman... 352 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,575 Are having an affair. 353 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,547 Worst time... To put water in someone's mouth. 354 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,083 You n--practically drowned me. 355 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,451 There ya go. Lisa and I overheard them 356 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,053 planning a hookup in the cafeteria. 357 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,555 I wouldn't say anything unless I was 100% sure. 358 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,191 Some of us are a little shy of 100%. 359 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,227 Some of us are hovering around 12%. 360 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,295 He told me he was just going over to chef Norman's 361 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,897 to watch the oscars. 362 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,199 Yeah? Did he? Then why didn't he invite you to go with him? 363 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,069 He knows that I've boycotted the oscars every year 364 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,371 since the soul-crushing tragedy of '93. 365 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,639 What that the year-- 366 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:35,940 and the nominees are... 367 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,609 Judy Davis, 368 00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:38,910 Joan plowright, 369 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,979 Vanessa freakin' redgrave. 370 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,213 And the Oscar goes to... 371 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,250 Marisa tomei for "my cousin vinny." 372 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:48,253 That was the homosexual o.J. Verdict. 373 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:49,487 So that's why they didn't invite him. 374 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,055 Maybe they really are having an Oscar party. 375 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:55,126 Yeah. No, maybe they are. 376 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,394 In their pants. 377 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,003 Hope you don't mind. I let myself in. 378 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,237 Noah! Jeez! What the heck? 379 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,972 You trying to give me a heart attack? 380 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:10,408 I might ask you the same thing. 381 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,342 Wow! 382 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:14,779 What is with the new 'do... Mufasa? 383 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,414 Oh, ho ho ho ho! 384 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,350 Oh, you're hilarious George. You should open for Louis c.K. 385 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,419 Really? You think I'm ready? Oh, absolutely. 386 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,187 I-I think he'd be lucky to have you... 387 00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,455 Once he hears that great joke 388 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,324 about you helping Dallas defeat me. 389 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,359 Is this about t-ball? Is that what this is? 390 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,194 Yes. 391 00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,996 That's what this is. 392 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,500 Look at you... With a whistle around your neck. 393 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,535 You disgust me. 394 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:40,705 I thought that you were Crockett and I was tubbs! 395 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:44,842 I thought that you were tango and I was cash! 396 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:48,279 I thought that you were dunston 397 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,781 and I had checked in! 398 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,349 Sorry? 399 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:53,451 You haven't seen that movie? 400 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,720 It's about this monkey and this hotel. 401 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,956 They're best friends! 402 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,891 Yeah, but the only thing you wanna check into anymore 403 00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,326 is your girlfriend. 404 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,294 Okay, Noah, listen to yourself. 405 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,029 Okay, look at your hair! 406 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,465 This war between you and Dallas has to stop. 407 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,666 I'm begging you. 408 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,468 Settle it on the t-ball field 409 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,303 and then move on with your lives. 410 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,238 She's taken everything from me, George. 411 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,907 Everything. 412 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,810 And now I'm gonna take everything from you, 413 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,511 starting right there. 414 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,347 Ah, ha ha ha! 415 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,481 Ha! 416 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,885 Whoops! Mine now. 417 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,693 Oh, hope you don't make any spills. 418 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,362 Huh? 419 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,330 Really? You're gonna take my smoke detector? 420 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,566 Oh, yeah! I'm taking everything. 421 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,337 Everything! 422 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:50,108 I feel weird. 423 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,276 We didn't even fill out an Oscar ballot. 424 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,913 Since it's not a real Oscar party, it doesn't matter. 425 00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:58,549 How can you be so sure? 426 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,885 Look, I know sometimes it's hard to 427 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,787 confront things in our relationships we don't want to, 428 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,957 but if chef Alan is not being honest with you, 429 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,258 don't you wanna know? 430 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:14,732 Oh, thank God! 431 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,634 Look, "ask Tessa," 432 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:19,037 it's just boring old Alan sitting on the couch. 433 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,640 For a moment, we thought you were... 434 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:25,743 What's that? 435 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,146 Uh, what's what? 436 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,480 That thing. 437 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,582 And the award for best original tongue kiss 438 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,584 goes to... 439 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,486 Oh. 440 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,625 Uh... On the bright side, 441 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:45,730 this takes the whole sting out of the Marisa tomei incident. 442 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,400 All right, buddy! Good hit! Good swing, man! 443 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,601 Whoo! Way to go! 444 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,670 Way to make it to the filthy pillow! 445 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,905 Look, George, they're doing it! 446 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,773 We're gonna beat him to a bloody pulp! 447 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:56,774 Oh, yeah. 448 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,909 What the hell was that, Seth?! 449 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,677 Oh, I actually hate you right now. 450 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,946 I hate you outside of the game. 451 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,515 Not as a first baseman, as a person! 452 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,318 You guys suck! What's your problem? 453 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,754 You stink! 454 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,090 You're a bunch of hacks! 455 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,325 Losers! Losers! 456 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,960 Dallas, I think I was wrong. 457 00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,428 Sweep the leg! 458 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,131 Whoa. No, don't sweep anything. 459 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,800 Look at these kids. You guys stink! 460 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,769 I ruined them. You guys suck! 461 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,504 You were right. They-- they should be playing for fun. 462 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,972 They should be... 463 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,875 Playing for wristlets and--and fancy runs 464 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,643 and frozen treats. 465 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,612 Those things would've cost us our victory. 466 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,714 We can win this, George. 467 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,149 Sweep the leg! 468 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,450 Fine. Sweep the leg. 469 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,352 Sweep the leg if you care more about winning 470 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,454 than you do about humanity. 471 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,624 Sweep the leg if you want this petty rivalry to own your soul. 472 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,793 Sweep the leg if-- you heard him! 473 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,661 Sweep the leg! 474 00:18:53,066 --> 00:18:54,699 No. No. 475 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,340 Ow! 476 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,843 Visitors disqualified! The dental decay sluggers win! 477 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,079 Yeah! Boom! 478 00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:09,847 Yeah! Oh, man. 479 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,716 Well done! 480 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,217 You had to know. What? 481 00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,520 You had to know that your kid would be disqualified 482 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:16,821 for cobra kai'ing my third baseman. 483 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,222 And I know why you did it. 484 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,357 Ow! 485 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,658 You did it for me. N-no. 486 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,993 Noah, I didn't do it for you. 487 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,095 I tried very hard to stop it, actually. 488 00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:25,696 No. 489 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:26,931 I know you did. 490 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,833 You did everything you could. 491 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,569 I would do the same thing for you, buddy-- 492 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,737 any one of these kids. 493 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,272 You just say the word. 494 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,673 Thanks? 495 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,708 Which kid, though? 496 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,577 I need to know which kid. 497 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,113 Unless you want me to pick. 498 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,217 Just remember-- 499 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,752 you're the reason we won this game. 500 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,187 I don't know what came over me. 501 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,856 And it's not like playing dirty helps. We lost! 502 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,558 Did we? 503 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,760 Yes. I checked the scoreboard to make sure. 504 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:56,928 No, I meant in a bigger sense. 505 00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,564 Yeah, I know. We lost in a bigger sense, too. 506 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:00,765 Poor sportsmanship, 507 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,600 ugly, ugly costumes, 508 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,101 and we injured a boy. 509 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:08,406 Yes, but we learned an important lesson... 510 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,774 Which means we won. 511 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:10,975 George, you're looking on the bright side. 512 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,277 - You got that from me. - Ow! 513 00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,779 Oh! Oh! 514 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,948 Well, I can't unbreak his leg, 515 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:20,284 but I can unbreak this feud with Noah Werner. 516 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,488 Wait. You can unbreak it? 517 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,790 That means the feud's back on. 518 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,459 You wanna break it, not unbreak it. 519 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,828 Right? Mm-hmm. 520 00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,964 Great job out there. 521 00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:41,772 Sometimes doing the right thing still feels wrong. 522 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,909 There's nothing a 2-day old gingersnap can't fix. 523 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,013 How about adultery? 524 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,148 "Ask Tessa" knew it all along. 525 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,484 I wish she was wrong, but... 526 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,785 She just never is. 527 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:58,189 No, not when it comes to other people's problems. 528 00:20:58,191 --> 00:20:59,924 Are we off me already? 529 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,659 What are you trying to say, Lisa? 530 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,762 I'm trying to say that, 531 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:08,332 sometimes it's easier to diagnose other people's problems 532 00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,600 than your own. 533 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,039 There's no such thing as a 3-day away game? 534 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:17,374 There is no such thing as a 3-day away game.