1 00:00:04,846 --> 00:00:06,379 Tessa: With a few alterations, 2 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,758 Ryan Shay and I were making it work. 3 00:00:08,792 --> 00:00:10,203 Who woulda thunk it? 4 00:00:10,323 --> 00:00:12,158 We made it through three major holidays, 5 00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:13,449 a tooth extraction, 6 00:00:13,465 --> 00:00:15,948 and a herpes scare that turned out to be an ingrown. 7 00:00:15,966 --> 00:00:17,461 We'd gotten through it all expertly, 8 00:00:17,468 --> 00:00:20,949 which made me something of a relationship expert. 9 00:00:21,069 --> 00:00:23,397 It's just, I see the way Ryan looks at you. 10 00:00:23,517 --> 00:00:24,929 Mikey doesn't look at me that way. 11 00:00:25,049 --> 00:00:28,141 The right guy, he's out there, Justine. Okay? 12 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:32,298 And if you ask me, it's Todd from PreCal. 13 00:00:32,608 --> 00:00:35,775 Once he gets his headgear off, he's gonna be a stone cold fox. 14 00:00:35,895 --> 00:00:38,138 Thanks for stopping by. Next! 15 00:00:39,279 --> 00:00:41,720 (Door creaking) 16 00:00:42,408 --> 00:00:43,667 Let me guess. 17 00:00:43,925 --> 00:00:46,562 Boys can't see past the chair. Am I right? 18 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,531 Have you thought about 19 00:00:48,651 --> 00:00:50,916 decorating the wheels in an eye-catching fashion? 20 00:00:50,971 --> 00:00:51,984 I need to pee. 21 00:00:52,606 --> 00:00:53,753 Oh. 22 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,814 Tessa: Naomi aside, everyone else seemed to agree 23 00:00:56,821 --> 00:00:58,526 that when it came to relationships, 24 00:00:58,549 --> 00:01:01,177 "Ask Tessa" was the go-to girl. 25 00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:03,922 I wouldn't. 26 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:05,698 What? 27 00:01:05,818 --> 00:01:09,624 I wouldn't feed him out of the palm of your hand. 28 00:01:09,661 --> 00:01:11,063 You're emasculating him, Lisa. 29 00:01:11,183 --> 00:01:13,581 Sorry, don't you have your own boyfriend to worry about? 30 00:01:13,604 --> 00:01:15,647 He's at an away game, and I think you know that. (Scoffs) 31 00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:16,984 (Amplified voice) Students, 32 00:01:17,018 --> 00:01:19,110 in preparation for our new ravioli bar... 33 00:01:19,137 --> 00:01:20,471 We have a ravioli bar?! 34 00:01:20,522 --> 00:01:21,939 Not yet. I said "in preparation." 35 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:24,632 For the next several weeks, Chef Alan will be training 36 00:01:24,687 --> 00:01:27,799 under a highly gay and attractive raviologist... 37 00:01:27,846 --> 00:01:29,480 Chef Norman Neuman. 38 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,568 I know what you're thinking, and yes, 39 00:01:31,688 --> 00:01:35,721 he was chef Alan's first homosexual lover. 40 00:01:37,673 --> 00:01:39,882 I'm gonna let that sink in for a moment. 41 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,159 And now I'm going to ask 42 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,458 that you welcome Norman with open arms, 43 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,124 as Chef Alan used to. 44 00:01:47,163 --> 00:01:50,948 Uh-oh, looks like somebody's relationship's gonna need 45 00:01:50,995 --> 00:01:52,747 a whole mess'a "Ask Tessa." 46 00:01:54,828 --> 00:01:55,987 - No. - No. 47 00:01:56,107 --> 00:01:58,730 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com - 48 00:01:58,769 --> 00:02:03,140 [Alih Jay] ♪ Last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 49 00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:06,316 2x14 T-Ball and Sympathy 50 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:09,405 I'll just grab a robe. 51 00:02:09,452 --> 00:02:11,062 Oh. You didn't get my message? 52 00:02:11,063 --> 00:02:12,783 Yves Clyde is running a bit behind. 53 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,917 - We're gonna need to reschedule. - Reschedule? 54 00:02:14,918 --> 00:02:17,554 This is the third time y'all have canceled on me this week. 55 00:02:17,562 --> 00:02:20,627 I am wearing multiple sunglasses to hide my root situation, 56 00:02:20,659 --> 00:02:21,769 but this can't persist! 57 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,982 I am so sorry, Miss Royce. 58 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:27,924 Yves Clyde has a new client who's proved very demanding. 59 00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:30,628 Take your time, Yves Clyde. 60 00:02:30,629 --> 00:02:31,732 I want it all! 61 00:02:31,755 --> 00:02:33,421 Lowlights, midlights, highlights. 62 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:34,892 (Laughs) And I wanna hear 63 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:37,980 absolutely everything there is to know about your yorkie. 64 00:02:38,014 --> 00:02:39,843 Noah Werner! 65 00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,813 Does this vendetta know no bounds? 66 00:02:41,814 --> 00:02:43,456 It's boundless. 67 00:02:43,576 --> 00:02:44,987 You stole Carmen. 68 00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:47,444 (Gasps) Carmen was returned to my employ 69 00:02:47,445 --> 00:02:48,689 by Father Christmas. 70 00:02:48,743 --> 00:02:51,636 Plus, you stole Ashanti our dog walker, 71 00:02:51,637 --> 00:02:53,397 and you don't even have a dog! 72 00:02:53,398 --> 00:02:55,161 Well, we're thinking about getting one 73 00:02:55,165 --> 00:02:57,050 now that we have the right team in place! 74 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,668 And how dare you, madame? 75 00:02:58,669 --> 00:03:01,234 You poached Sean our mattress flipper! 76 00:03:01,354 --> 00:03:03,243 His name is Shane. 77 00:03:03,259 --> 00:03:06,818 See? I'm too sleep-deprived to even remember his name. 78 00:03:06,849 --> 00:03:08,726 That's what it's come to! 79 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,243 We need to get you rinsed out. 80 00:03:11,244 --> 00:03:13,930 We want you summersy, not Suzanne Somers-y. 81 00:03:13,973 --> 00:03:15,889 (Laughs) Ohh! 82 00:03:16,389 --> 00:03:17,633 (Slaps thigh) 83 00:03:18,104 --> 00:03:19,619 (Robe rustles) This isn't over. 84 00:03:19,739 --> 00:03:23,189 I will not rest until I have stolen your G.P., 85 00:03:23,201 --> 00:03:25,828 your E.N.T., and your ob-gyn, 86 00:03:25,948 --> 00:03:28,072 even if I have to grow my own lady parts! 87 00:03:28,073 --> 00:03:30,067 (Gasps) 88 00:03:30,263 --> 00:03:32,451 Oh. Sorry about that. 89 00:03:32,851 --> 00:03:36,488 I'm afraid Noah's been a bit unhinged ever since Carmen left. 90 00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:40,164 I have my regrets about the way it ended. 91 00:03:40,211 --> 00:03:43,362 Is she... happy? 92 00:03:43,409 --> 00:03:44,560 - Who? Carmen? - Mm. 93 00:03:44,567 --> 00:03:46,335 Oh, she's thriving. She's gained her weight back. 94 00:03:46,336 --> 00:03:47,664 She's showing affection. 95 00:03:47,672 --> 00:03:49,541 She stopped tearing her slippers apart. 96 00:03:49,549 --> 00:03:50,581 She's in a good home now. 97 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,793 I'm glad to hear it. 98 00:03:52,044 --> 00:03:54,178 I wish I could say the same about my husband. 99 00:03:54,298 --> 00:03:56,688 These days, coaching that T-ball team of his 100 00:03:56,689 --> 00:03:59,707 is the only thing that gives him any normal joy. 101 00:03:59,746 --> 00:04:01,334 Huh. 102 00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:03,203 Funny. 103 00:04:03,323 --> 00:04:05,721 I've recently developed 104 00:04:05,735 --> 00:04:08,317 a keen interest in T-balls myself. 105 00:04:08,364 --> 00:04:09,647 Oh. 106 00:04:11,094 --> 00:04:13,135 Hey, Mr. Wolfe. 107 00:04:13,255 --> 00:04:14,996 Anything I can help you with? 108 00:04:15,116 --> 00:04:17,079 No, I'm good, but thanks. 109 00:04:17,113 --> 00:04:18,374 You sure? 110 00:04:18,405 --> 00:04:19,461 Positive. 111 00:04:19,581 --> 00:04:22,484 There's nothin' you wanna "Ask Tessa"? 112 00:04:22,519 --> 00:04:23,611 Trademark pending. 113 00:04:23,612 --> 00:04:25,337 I feel like you're asking me to ask you something, 114 00:04:25,371 --> 00:04:26,636 but I'm not sure what you're asking, 115 00:04:26,655 --> 00:04:27,664 and I'm afraid to ask. 116 00:04:27,695 --> 00:04:29,471 Well, it's just that you've been standing there, 117 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:33,835 staring at chefs Alan and Norman for two periods now. 118 00:04:34,831 --> 00:04:36,580 I can tell. 119 00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:39,286 You are terrified by the idea 120 00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:41,320 of them working so closely together, 121 00:04:41,371 --> 00:04:42,737 clog-by-clog. 122 00:04:42,755 --> 00:04:45,408 Wow. You really know your stuff, "Ask Tessa." 123 00:04:45,455 --> 00:04:47,989 Now I don't know if I announced this part at lunch, 124 00:04:48,109 --> 00:04:51,211 but Alan was married when he met Norman at culinary school. 125 00:04:51,227 --> 00:04:52,854 He left Nora for Norman. 126 00:04:52,885 --> 00:04:53,956 Mm-hmm. 127 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,918 Who wouldn't be attracted to Norman? 128 00:04:55,985 --> 00:04:57,726 (Whispers) He's a norseman. 129 00:04:57,733 --> 00:04:59,305 Didn't realize he was from Norway. 130 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,088 He's not. 131 00:05:00,103 --> 00:05:02,262 It's gay slang, and I'd rather not define it for you. 132 00:05:02,309 --> 00:05:04,178 I know why you feel threatened, 133 00:05:04,298 --> 00:05:05,570 and it is because he is a threat. 134 00:05:05,593 --> 00:05:07,689 I trust Alan. It's the Norseman... 135 00:05:07,705 --> 00:05:10,285 that is why you need to up your game. 136 00:05:10,332 --> 00:05:12,741 He's the catch of the day, and... 137 00:05:12,861 --> 00:05:15,416 you are Friday's chili 138 00:05:15,455 --> 00:05:17,348 made with Thursday's hamburger meat. 139 00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:20,296 - Ouch. - Yeah, well, "Ask Tessa" tells it like it is. 140 00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:22,447 Do not ignore your instincts, or mine. 141 00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:25,051 Remind Chef Alan 142 00:05:25,171 --> 00:05:28,461 that the wolf has not been tamed. 143 00:05:28,516 --> 00:05:32,309 Release the wild wolf he once fell in love with. 144 00:05:32,825 --> 00:05:34,139 Thanks, "Ask Tessa." 145 00:05:34,164 --> 00:05:37,692 No thanks needed, it is what "Ask Tessa" does. 146 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,364 Looks good to me. You're beautiful as always. 147 00:05:45,372 --> 00:05:46,872 You just think it looks beautiful 148 00:05:46,873 --> 00:05:47,765 'cause you're ignorant. 149 00:05:47,812 --> 00:05:50,267 When it comes to this stuff, you are ignorant, George. 150 00:05:50,275 --> 00:05:52,559 It's not beautiful. It's satisfactory. 151 00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:54,059 Why? Susan did it. 152 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:56,765 She's a shampoo lady! A head washer. 153 00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:59,517 Well, I think Susan really stepped up to the plate. 154 00:05:59,637 --> 00:06:02,369 She did no such thing, you ignorant fool. 155 00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:04,335 (Chuckles) And furthermore, 156 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:07,636 she was unable to regale me with stories about her toy dog 157 00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:08,872 or celebrities gossip 158 00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:11,328 or what it's like vacationing in the Swiss alps. 159 00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:13,143 She just talked about her mother, 160 00:06:13,158 --> 00:06:14,902 who apparently has lupus. 161 00:06:16,897 --> 00:06:19,336 Nothing entertaining about that. That's just sad. 162 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,954 Well, just because Noah's being petty 163 00:06:20,955 --> 00:06:22,254 doesn't mean you have to be. 164 00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:24,944 It's time to take the high road and disengage. 165 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,595 Pull out of this war. (lce cubes rattling) 166 00:06:26,596 --> 00:06:29,277 Hells to the no. It's time to surge. Surge! 167 00:06:29,309 --> 00:06:31,904 I'm gonna climb on his back and T-ball him. 168 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,446 - What? - Oh, he likes coaching T-ball? 169 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,550 I'm gonna take away his little bad news bears... 170 00:06:36,565 --> 00:06:39,248 (Pours Martini) on their own field of dreams like a natural. 171 00:06:39,459 --> 00:06:41,907 You know what? I actually think that's a good idea. 172 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,135 - You do? - I do. 173 00:06:43,158 --> 00:06:46,435 Look, I think a baseball game is a relatively healthy way 174 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,952 to settle things between you and Noah... 175 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,126 if it will, in fact, settle things. 176 00:06:50,246 --> 00:06:52,878 Do you think this will finally help you let go of your grudge? 177 00:06:53,348 --> 00:06:55,552 If I win. 178 00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:57,876 (Knocks on door) 179 00:06:58,345 --> 00:06:59,753 You wanted to see me? 180 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,054 In your den? 181 00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:03,859 (Hissing) 182 00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:05,501 Tessa, please have a seat. 183 00:07:05,979 --> 00:07:07,860 You ruined my life. 184 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,345 What? What happened? 185 00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,054 What didn't? 186 00:07:11,174 --> 00:07:13,866 (Disco music playing) 187 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:17,620 Mr. Wolfe: You said to remind him of how we first fell in love. 188 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,687 Well, we fell in love at Xanadude, 189 00:07:19,688 --> 00:07:22,354 the first gay roller rink in Chatswin. 190 00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,528 You said unleash the wolf! 191 00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:27,852 I didn't say to unleash the purple hot pants! 192 00:07:27,883 --> 00:07:30,511 Alan is silently furious with me. 193 00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:32,216 It's his quiet I fear most. 194 00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:33,913 And also his leaving me for Norman. 195 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,258 And also dying alone. 196 00:07:35,305 --> 00:07:36,760 And shiny floors. 197 00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:37,613 I have a lot of fears. 198 00:07:37,621 --> 00:07:39,787 Maybe he's not as mad as you think. 199 00:07:42,478 --> 00:07:43,393 Let me suss it out. 200 00:07:43,424 --> 00:07:45,528 Got it. What should I do? 201 00:07:46,294 --> 00:07:47,843 Change. 202 00:07:48,883 --> 00:07:50,431 (Blows whistle) 203 00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:51,775 Listen up, y'all! 204 00:07:51,776 --> 00:07:54,467 First, assume a wide stance. 205 00:07:54,506 --> 00:07:57,256 Second, squirt a dime-sized portion of sunscreen 206 00:07:57,274 --> 00:07:58,330 into your palm. 207 00:07:58,377 --> 00:07:59,673 Make sure it's oil-free. 208 00:07:59,674 --> 00:08:01,850 And then you're gonna apply it with a sweeping motion. 209 00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:04,448 Start at the base of your throat and sweep upwards. 210 00:08:04,499 --> 00:08:05,833 Upwards. 211 00:08:05,851 --> 00:08:07,468 Upwards, Keith. 212 00:08:07,502 --> 00:08:08,753 Uh, Coach? 213 00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:10,922 You might wanna get to the actual sport. 214 00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:12,297 Practice is only an hour. 215 00:08:12,298 --> 00:08:13,847 Well, George, I was getting to that. 216 00:08:14,175 --> 00:08:16,748 Now... I need each of you 217 00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:19,630 to develop your very own fancy run. 218 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,652 This is a perfect way to express your individuality 219 00:08:22,691 --> 00:08:24,326 while you're running towards that... 220 00:08:24,514 --> 00:08:25,562 filthy pillow. 221 00:08:25,585 --> 00:08:27,267 Also known as first base. 222 00:08:27,314 --> 00:08:29,621 George, you're confusing them with your jargon. 223 00:08:29,652 --> 00:08:30,456 Okay. 224 00:08:30,457 --> 00:08:32,701 Nicole, I know you love unicorns. 225 00:08:32,709 --> 00:08:34,046 Let me see a unicorn run. 226 00:08:34,101 --> 00:08:35,712 (Gasps) Yes! 227 00:08:37,432 --> 00:08:39,287 Ohh, I love it, Nicole! 228 00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:40,779 I feel like I'm in Narnia! 229 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,376 Maybe you should have the kids practice hitting. 230 00:08:42,392 --> 00:08:44,589 George, I'm sorry, but I can't condone violence. 231 00:08:44,597 --> 00:08:46,357 Not now, not ever. 232 00:08:48,577 --> 00:08:50,268 Lisa: Wow. 233 00:08:50,275 --> 00:08:53,037 I've never been in the cafeteria after school. 234 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:54,913 You think the ice cream is unlocked? 235 00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,500 This will only take a minute. 236 00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,469 I just have to suss out to Alan. 237 00:08:58,503 --> 00:09:00,451 Never takes me long to suss. 238 00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:03,751 Don't you have your own relationship to "suss"? 239 00:09:03,871 --> 00:09:05,426 I told you. He's at an away game. 240 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:06,973 (Whispers) Ooh! Oh! 241 00:09:06,989 --> 00:09:08,062 I don't know. I just... 242 00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,314 I feel very anxious about the whole thing. 243 00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:13,371 It's not anxiety. It's excitement. 244 00:09:13,598 --> 00:09:15,602 Promise me you'll come tomorrow night. 245 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,785 Who am I kidding? I... (Laughs) 246 00:09:16,905 --> 00:09:18,739 I won't be able to stop myself. 247 00:09:18,773 --> 00:09:21,125 It will be a night to remember. 248 00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:24,245 (Sighs) Okay. I'm gonna hold you to that. 249 00:09:24,279 --> 00:09:27,002 Yeah, I'll rush over as soon as Wolfe leaves for boxing. 250 00:09:28,339 --> 00:09:29,926 Oh, gosh. 251 00:09:30,285 --> 00:09:32,370 (Whispers) Oh, my God! 252 00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:33,908 Chef Alan's cheating! 253 00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:36,434 Oh, my God. Mr. Wolfe boxes? 254 00:09:36,641 --> 00:09:39,116 Unless that's gay slang. 255 00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:42,661 Okay, after watching today's practice, 256 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,966 it's clear to me you know little if anything about the game. 257 00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:46,391 I don't mean to be harsh, 258 00:09:46,511 --> 00:09:48,892 but there is no way you are going to win. 259 00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:51,756 George, take that back. Failure is not an option. 260 00:09:51,771 --> 00:09:53,961 It's one of my top three most hated things, 261 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,550 right behind decorated denim and pinheads. 262 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,811 Well, I'm sorry, but you can't have a T-ball team 263 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,195 that doesn't know how to play T-ball. 264 00:10:00,985 --> 00:10:02,486 Will you help us? 265 00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:04,207 (Sighs) 266 00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:05,599 I really don't want to get involved 267 00:10:05,719 --> 00:10:07,335 in this feud between you and Noah. 268 00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:09,306 But how are we supposed to settle it fair and square 269 00:10:09,307 --> 00:10:11,636 when our team is at a distinct disadvantage, 270 00:10:11,659 --> 00:10:14,630 on account of me not knowing jack squat about T-ball? 271 00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:15,757 You got a point. 272 00:10:15,877 --> 00:10:17,923 Plus, I'm your girl. 273 00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:21,019 You can't just left another man take a dookie on my dignity. 274 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,576 (Laughs) 275 00:10:22,696 --> 00:10:24,217 Dallas, all right. 276 00:10:24,252 --> 00:10:25,719 If I agree to help you out, 277 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,558 we've gotta focus on the fundamentals, not the fun. 278 00:10:28,605 --> 00:10:30,489 Sure! That sounds like fun. 279 00:10:30,544 --> 00:10:31,764 What? No, it's not. 280 00:10:31,809 --> 00:10:32,943 Right. 281 00:10:32,977 --> 00:10:35,579 What I meant was, it sounds like a real good time. 282 00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:37,801 It's not gonna be a good time. It's gonna be lots of work. 283 00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:40,390 But in the end, 284 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:44,205 the hard work will pay off when we defeat Noah Werner, 285 00:10:44,206 --> 00:10:45,473 and that'll be fun. 286 00:10:45,661 --> 00:10:47,921 (Blows whistle) 287 00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:50,400 Look, I know some of you are disappointed. 288 00:10:50,431 --> 00:10:53,333 You... you miss Dallas' way of doing things, 289 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,029 and you miss your sparkly uniforms. 290 00:10:55,068 --> 00:10:57,532 But those uniforms were hurting us. 291 00:10:57,547 --> 00:11:00,511 - Mine didn't hurt. - It did, Kevin. You just didn't know it did. 292 00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:02,866 My name's not Kevin. It's Kevuel. 293 00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:04,696 I'm Kimantha's brother. 294 00:11:05,971 --> 00:11:08,075 Okay. Gang, to win, 295 00:11:08,114 --> 00:11:11,273 we're gonna have to look and act normal, 296 00:11:11,274 --> 00:11:13,495 like professional T-ball players. 297 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:14,958 So from this point on, 298 00:11:14,997 --> 00:11:16,622 Kevuel's gonna be "Kevin," 299 00:11:16,623 --> 00:11:19,837 and all of us are gonna focus on fundamentals. 300 00:11:19,838 --> 00:11:21,847 We're gonna work on our fielding, 301 00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:23,396 we're gonna work on our hitting, 302 00:11:23,404 --> 00:11:25,985 and we're gonna work on building a winning team... 303 00:11:25,992 --> 00:11:27,538 if that's okay. 304 00:11:27,573 --> 00:11:29,774 Is that okay? 305 00:11:30,246 --> 00:11:32,436 I said, is that okay?! 306 00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:33,976 Yeah, it's okay, George. 307 00:11:34,096 --> 00:11:36,080 But can we still do our fancy runs? 308 00:11:36,114 --> 00:11:37,832 No. No! No fancy runs. 309 00:11:37,866 --> 00:11:40,053 But our fancy runs show the other team 310 00:11:40,061 --> 00:11:41,703 our individuality! 311 00:11:41,753 --> 00:11:44,127 - Children: Yeah! - No. No, Nicole. No, our fancy runs show the other team 312 00:11:44,128 --> 00:11:45,855 we have no idea what we're doing. 313 00:11:46,141 --> 00:11:48,843 All right, guys. Let's get to work! Grab your mitts! 314 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,509 Get out there! Let's go! 315 00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:51,869 [ ♪ It's Tricky ♪ by Run-D.M.C. ] ♪ I think it's very vital ♪ 316 00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:53,277 ♪ to rock a rhyme ♪ (Blows whistle) 317 00:11:53,316 --> 00:11:54,716 Keep it up! Keep it up! 318 00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,132 - There you go! - ♪ Here we go! ♪ 319 00:11:56,163 --> 00:11:57,727 Let's go! Let's go! Keep 'em goin'. Come on! 320 00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,886 - Come on! Push it! Push it! - (Blowing whistle) 321 00:11:59,932 --> 00:12:01,949 Push it! Come on! Push it! 322 00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,568 (Click) ♪ tricky, tricky, tricky ♪ 323 00:12:03,569 --> 00:12:05,274 ♪ it's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪ 324 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,869 ♪ to rock a rhyme, that's right, on time ♪ 325 00:12:06,877 --> 00:12:07,605 ♪ It's tricky ♪ 326 00:12:07,628 --> 00:12:09,896 (groans) ♪ tr-tr-tricky, tricky ♪ 327 00:12:10,016 --> 00:12:10,905 Uhh! 328 00:12:11,025 --> 00:12:12,914 All right, guys. Here we go. 329 00:12:12,945 --> 00:12:14,321 Let's hit some balls. 330 00:12:14,322 --> 00:12:14,893 Uhh! 331 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,996 Uh... not bad. Not bad. 332 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:17,920 Good cut. Good cut. 333 00:12:18,624 --> 00:12:20,814 ♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme that's right! ♪ 334 00:12:20,829 --> 00:12:22,636 Okay. Gotta... you gotta look at the ball. 335 00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:26,062 Hey. Okay. Hey! Come on now! Come on! 336 00:12:26,182 --> 00:12:27,360 ♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪ 337 00:12:27,383 --> 00:12:29,065 ♪ to rock a rhyme, that's right, on time ♪ 338 00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:31,591 ♪ It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, huh! ♪ 339 00:12:31,606 --> 00:12:33,820 Focus up, guys. Focus up. Eye on the ball! 340 00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:36,221 Watch the ball go all the way into your glove. 341 00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:37,660 Here we go. Here it comes. 342 00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:38,935 (Ping) 343 00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:40,412 Ooh! Oh! K... Kev! 344 00:12:40,452 --> 00:12:42,665 Stay in front of those! Jenni could've gotten that one. 345 00:12:42,688 --> 00:12:44,557 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 346 00:12:44,612 --> 00:12:45,527 Nothing. 347 00:12:45,647 --> 00:12:47,068 You mean because I'm a girl? 348 00:12:47,092 --> 00:12:49,946 No. No, I mean because you're... not good. 349 00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:52,269 I'm tired. Do you have any frozen treats? 350 00:12:52,301 --> 00:12:54,154 Frozen treats?! What?! 351 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,758 I'm your coach. I'm not the ice cream man. 352 00:12:56,805 --> 00:12:59,785 I don't even think this jackass has a juice box on him. 353 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,545 - Yeah, and he's sexist. - Okay, you know what? 354 00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:04,566 It'd be sexist if I didn't tell you the truth. 355 00:13:04,686 --> 00:13:05,713 Ugh! 356 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,284 - Okay, she's angry. Good! - I quit! 357 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,120 That's good! We can use that anger! 358 00:13:09,153 --> 00:13:11,054 George, I think you're losing 'em. 359 00:13:11,077 --> 00:13:13,564 I'm not losing them. I'm... I'm breaking them. 360 00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:15,066 And then I'm gonna rebuild them! 361 00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:17,247 Oh! You mean like Jill Werner did 362 00:13:17,248 --> 00:13:18,945 with her premarital hook nose? 363 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,282 Kind of. 364 00:13:20,402 --> 00:13:22,952 Stand up, guys. Come on! Stand up! 365 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,577 St... I'm... I'm gonna hit it either way! 366 00:13:31,004 --> 00:13:33,788 He really is boxing. That is not gay slang. 367 00:13:33,908 --> 00:13:36,197 Punch with your legs, not your ovaries. 368 00:13:38,136 --> 00:13:39,614 Mr. Wolfe, what are you doing? 369 00:13:39,637 --> 00:13:40,466 I'm training the next 370 00:13:40,474 --> 00:13:42,617 middleweight champion of the world. What are you doing? 371 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,705 There is so much we don't know about his private life. 372 00:13:45,752 --> 00:13:47,973 Mr. Wolfe, I really need to talk to you. 373 00:13:47,974 --> 00:13:50,093 You might wanna sit down for this. 374 00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,924 It's worse than I thought. 375 00:14:00,495 --> 00:14:02,145 Chefs Alan and Norman... 376 00:14:02,583 --> 00:14:03,530 are having an affair. 377 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:05,532 (Gasps) (Squirts) 378 00:14:05,716 --> 00:14:07,323 (Chokes and coughs) 379 00:14:07,443 --> 00:14:09,951 Worst time... (Coughs) to put water in someone's mouth. 380 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,164 You n... practically drowned me. 381 00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:14,009 - There ya go. - Lisa and I overheard them 382 00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:15,457 planning a hookup in the cafeteria. 383 00:14:15,511 --> 00:14:17,669 I wouldn't say anything unless I was 100% sure. 384 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:20,102 Some of us are a little shy of 100%. 385 00:14:20,524 --> 00:14:22,276 Some of us are hovering around 12%. 386 00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:24,817 He told me he was just going over to Chef Norman's 387 00:14:24,825 --> 00:14:25,881 to watch the Oscars. 388 00:14:25,936 --> 00:14:28,369 Yeah? Did he? Then why didn't he invite you to go with him? 389 00:14:28,370 --> 00:14:31,309 He knows that I've boycotted the Oscars every year 390 00:14:31,325 --> 00:14:33,538 since the soul-crushing tragedy of '93. 391 00:14:33,658 --> 00:14:34,688 What that the year... 392 00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:36,033 And the nominees are... 393 00:14:36,153 --> 00:14:37,464 Judy Davis, 394 00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:39,044 Joan Plowright, 395 00:14:39,091 --> 00:14:41,062 Vanessa freakin' Redgrave. 396 00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:42,485 And the Oscar goes to... 397 00:14:42,486 --> 00:14:45,192 Marisa Tomei for "My Cousin Vinny." 398 00:14:45,312 --> 00:14:48,288 That was the homosexual O.J. verdict. 399 00:14:48,289 --> 00:14:49,506 So that's why they didn't invite him. 400 00:14:49,507 --> 00:14:51,207 Maybe they really are having an Oscar party. 401 00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:53,849 Yeah. No, maybe they are. 402 00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:56,711 In their pants. 403 00:14:58,152 --> 00:15:00,723 (Door creaks) 404 00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:04,796 Hope you don't mind. I let myself in. 405 00:15:04,797 --> 00:15:06,384 Noah! Jeez! What the heck? 406 00:15:06,385 --> 00:15:08,215 You trying to give me a heart attack? 407 00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:11,063 - I might ask you the same thing. - Wow! 408 00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:14,466 What is with the new 'do... Mufasa? 409 00:15:14,586 --> 00:15:16,218 Oh, ho ho ho ho! 410 00:15:16,281 --> 00:15:19,470 Oh, you're hilarious George. You should open for Louis C.K. 411 00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:21,505 - Really? You think I'm ready? - Oh, absolutely. 412 00:15:21,517 --> 00:15:23,377 I... I think he'd be lucky to have you... 413 00:15:23,497 --> 00:15:24,721 Once he hears that great joke 414 00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:26,473 about you helping Dallas defeat me. 415 00:15:26,485 --> 00:15:28,650 Is this about T-ball? Is that what this is? 416 00:15:28,702 --> 00:15:30,039 Yes. 417 00:15:30,370 --> 00:15:32,138 That's what this is. 418 00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:35,257 Look at you... (Laughs) with a whistle around your neck. 419 00:15:35,307 --> 00:15:37,353 You disgust me. (Sighs) 420 00:15:37,378 --> 00:15:40,775 I thought that you were Crockett and I was Tubbs! 421 00:15:40,895 --> 00:15:44,797 I thought that you were Tango and I was Cash! 422 00:15:44,917 --> 00:15:47,663 I thought that you were Dunston 423 00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:49,890 and I had checked in! 424 00:15:50,447 --> 00:15:52,842 - Sorry? - You haven't seen that movie? 425 00:15:52,876 --> 00:15:55,723 It's about this monkey and this hotel. 426 00:15:55,843 --> 00:15:57,296 They're best friends! 427 00:15:58,126 --> 00:16:00,091 Yeah, but the only thing you wanna check into anymore 428 00:16:00,128 --> 00:16:01,123 is your girlfriend. 429 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,645 Okay, Noah, listen to yourself. 430 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,084 Okay, look at your hair! 431 00:16:05,127 --> 00:16:07,630 This war between you and Dallas has to stop. 432 00:16:07,655 --> 00:16:08,606 I'm begging you. 433 00:16:08,669 --> 00:16:10,508 Settle it on the T-ball field 434 00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:12,448 and then move on with your lives. 435 00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:14,406 She's taken everything from me, George. 436 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,267 Everything. 437 00:16:16,301 --> 00:16:19,086 And now I'm gonna take everything from you, 438 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,474 starting right there. 439 00:16:20,594 --> 00:16:22,132 Ah, ha ha ha! 440 00:16:22,252 --> 00:16:23,724 Ha! 441 00:16:26,828 --> 00:16:28,595 Whoops! Mine now. 442 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:34,744 Oh, hope you don't make any spills. 443 00:16:35,914 --> 00:16:37,197 (Plastic cracks) Huh? 444 00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:38,968 Really? You're gonna take my smoke detector? 445 00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:41,759 Oh, yeah! I'm taking everything. 446 00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:45,812 Everything! 447 00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:49,826 I feel weird. 448 00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:52,277 We didn't even fill out an Oscar ballot. 449 00:16:52,485 --> 00:16:55,851 Since it's not a real Oscar party, it doesn't matter. 450 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,871 How can you be so sure? 451 00:16:58,872 --> 00:17:01,362 Look, I know sometimes it's hard to 452 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:03,283 confront things in our relationships we don't want to, 453 00:17:03,284 --> 00:17:06,074 but if Chef Alan is not being honest with you, 454 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,864 don't you wanna know? 455 00:17:11,048 --> 00:17:12,080 (Gasps) 456 00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,015 Oh, thank God! 457 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,086 Look, "Ask Tessa," 458 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,389 it's just boring old Alan sitting on the couch. 459 00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:22,580 (Chuckles) For a moment, we thought you were... 460 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,040 What's that? 461 00:17:26,096 --> 00:17:27,566 Uh, what's what? 462 00:17:28,317 --> 00:17:29,218 That thing. 463 00:17:29,262 --> 00:17:33,159 And the award for best original tongue kiss goes to... 464 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,434 Oh. 465 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:36,312 (Gasps) 466 00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:38,158 (Glasses shatter) 467 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,155 Uh... On the bright side, 468 00:17:41,173 --> 00:17:44,797 this takes the whole sting out of the Marisa Tomei incident. 469 00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,342 (Cheers and applause) 470 00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:47,287 (Ping) 471 00:17:47,407 --> 00:17:49,602 George: All right, buddy! Good hit! Good swing, man! 472 00:17:49,621 --> 00:17:50,941 Whoo! Way to go! 473 00:17:50,954 --> 00:17:52,868 Way to make it to the filthy pillow! 474 00:17:52,931 --> 00:17:54,213 Look, George, they're doing it! 475 00:17:54,226 --> 00:17:55,828 We're gonna beat him to a bloody pulp! 476 00:17:55,846 --> 00:17:56,589 Oh, yeah. 477 00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:57,926 What the hell was that, Seth?! 478 00:17:58,046 --> 00:17:59,975 Oh, I actually hate you right now. 479 00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:02,240 I hate you outside of the game. 480 00:18:02,309 --> 00:18:04,836 Not as a first baseman, as a person! 481 00:18:04,843 --> 00:18:07,270 - You guys suck! - What's your problem? 482 00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,888 You stink! (Boy shouts indistinctly) 483 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,718 You're a bunch of hacks! 484 00:18:12,108 --> 00:18:14,359 Boy: Losers! Losers! 485 00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,061 Dallas, I think I was wrong. 486 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,493 Sweep the leg! 487 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,826 Whoa. No, don't sweep anything. 488 00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,749 - Look at these kids. - You guys stink! 489 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,218 - I ruined them. - You guys suck! 490 00:18:24,338 --> 00:18:26,664 You were right. They... they should be playing for fun. 491 00:18:26,665 --> 00:18:27,956 They should be... 492 00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:31,269 playing for wristlets and... and fancy runs 493 00:18:31,313 --> 00:18:32,614 and frozen treats. 494 00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:34,779 Those things would've cost us our victory. 495 00:18:34,816 --> 00:18:36,556 We can win this, George. 496 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,216 Sweep the leg! (Children continue shouting) 497 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,333 Fine. Sweep the leg. 498 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,792 Sweep the leg if you care more about winning 499 00:18:41,824 --> 00:18:43,518 than you do about humanity. 500 00:18:43,519 --> 00:18:47,073 Sweep the leg if you want this petty rivalry to own your soul. 501 00:18:47,098 --> 00:18:48,919 - Sweep the leg if... - You heard him! 502 00:18:48,969 --> 00:18:50,407 Sweep the leg! 503 00:18:50,445 --> 00:18:52,635 (Cheering) 504 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,483 No. No. 505 00:18:54,517 --> 00:19:00,572 ♪ 506 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,274 (Bone crunches) Boy: Ow! 507 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:05,827 Visitors disqualified! The dental decay sluggers win! 508 00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:07,718 - Yeah! - (Laughing) Boom! 509 00:19:07,838 --> 00:19:09,833 Yeah! Oh, man. 510 00:19:09,866 --> 00:19:11,583 Well done! 511 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,118 - You had to know. - What? 512 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,865 You had to know that your kid would be disqualified 513 00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:17,240 for cobra kai'ing my third baseman. 514 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:18,430 And I know why you did it. (Boy cries) 515 00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:19,180 Boy: Ow! (Mouth word) 516 00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:20,820 - You did it for me. - N... no. 517 00:19:20,845 --> 00:19:22,408 Noah, I didn't do it for you. 518 00:19:22,409 --> 00:19:24,492 I tried very hard to stop it, actually. 519 00:19:24,561 --> 00:19:25,806 (Loudly) No. 520 00:19:25,926 --> 00:19:27,151 I know you did. 521 00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:29,191 You did everything you could. 522 00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:31,575 (Laughs) I would do the same thing for you, buddy... 523 00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:33,027 any one of these kids. 524 00:19:33,147 --> 00:19:34,653 You just say the word. 525 00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:35,892 Thanks? 526 00:19:35,898 --> 00:19:37,363 Which kid, though? 527 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,340 I need to know which kid. 528 00:19:39,684 --> 00:19:41,880 Unless you want me to pick. 529 00:19:43,438 --> 00:19:44,477 (Sighs) 530 00:19:44,696 --> 00:19:45,978 Just remember... 531 00:19:46,241 --> 00:19:47,868 you're the reason we won this game. 532 00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:49,387 I don't know what came over me. 533 00:19:49,425 --> 00:19:52,015 And it's not like playing dirty helps. We lost! 534 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:53,748 Did we? 535 00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:55,825 Yes. I checked the scoreboard to make sure. 536 00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:57,170 No, I meant in a bigger sense. 537 00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:59,572 Yeah, I know. We lost in a bigger sense, too. 538 00:19:59,628 --> 00:20:00,948 Poor sportsmanship, 539 00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:02,800 ugly, ugly costumes, 540 00:20:02,863 --> 00:20:04,251 and we injured a boy. 541 00:20:04,295 --> 00:20:07,817 Yes, but we learned an important lesson... 542 00:20:08,643 --> 00:20:09,963 which means we won. 543 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,651 George, you're looking on the bright side. 544 00:20:11,652 --> 00:20:13,593 - You got that from me. Boy: Ow! 545 00:20:13,649 --> 00:20:15,313 (Screaming) Oh! Oh! 546 00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:17,447 Well, I can't unbreak his leg, 547 00:20:17,459 --> 00:20:20,400 but I can unbreak this feud with Noah Werner. 548 00:20:22,295 --> 00:20:24,640 Wait. You can unbreak it? 549 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:25,949 That means the feud's back on. 550 00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,683 You wanna break it, not unbreak it. 551 00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:31,198 - Right? - Mm-hmm. 552 00:20:31,711 --> 00:20:33,932 Noah: Great job out there. 553 00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:41,958 Sometimes doing the right thing still feels wrong. 554 00:20:41,983 --> 00:20:45,024 There's nothing a 2-day old gingersnap can't fix. 555 00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:49,135 How about adultery? 556 00:20:49,635 --> 00:20:51,549 "Ask Tessa" knew it all along. 557 00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,471 I wish she was wrong, but... 558 00:20:53,646 --> 00:20:55,448 she just never is. 559 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,364 No, not when it comes to other people's problems. 560 00:20:58,484 --> 00:20:59,929 Are we off me already? 561 00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:02,118 What are you trying to say, Lisa? 562 00:21:02,538 --> 00:21:04,458 I'm trying to say that, 563 00:21:05,121 --> 00:21:08,388 sometimes it's easier to diagnose other people's problems 564 00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:09,977 than your own. 565 00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:15,733 There's no such thing as a 3-day away game? 566 00:21:17,523 --> 00:21:20,357 There is no such thing as a 3-day away game. 567 00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:32,629 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne - - www.addic7ed.com -