﻿1
00:00:00,155 --> 00:00:03,155
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com

2
00:00:04,256 --> 00:00:05,757
Dumb.

3
00:00:05,791 --> 00:00:07,258
Dumb.

4
00:00:07,293 --> 00:00:08,993
Dumb.

5
00:00:09,728 --> 00:00:12,897
Uh, report cards didn't
come today, did they?

6
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:14,999
No. I gotta find a
birthday gift for mama.

7
00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,467
Aww.
That's so sweet, Reba.

8
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:18,602
Just think. Pretty soon,
my brand-new baby daughter

9
00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:20,237
will be doing
the same thing for me.

10
00:00:20,272 --> 00:00:21,505
(Laughs) And hopefully
she'll understand

11
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:24,842
that diamonds are
always appropriate.

12
00:00:24,876 --> 00:00:27,144
Okay. What did you kids
get for your grandma?

13
00:00:27,179 --> 00:00:28,745
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.

14
00:00:28,814 --> 00:00:31,649
Ohh. Oh, man. Something...
(Clicks tongue) Awesome.

15
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,983
When is it again?

16
00:00:34,219 --> 00:00:35,319
Saturday, Cash.

17
00:00:35,353 --> 00:00:36,854
Uh-huh. I'm just gonna...

18
00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:39,590
Oh! I know what you
should get her.

19
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,293
You could get her Botox.

20
00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:45,029
I know a guy.
(Laughs)

21
00:00:45,063 --> 00:00:47,798
Truth is, I-I know a lot of guys.

22
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:50,201
I gotta find the
perfect gift for mama.

23
00:00:50,235 --> 00:00:52,203
Boy, she's been my rock
for me this past year.

24
00:00:52,237 --> 00:00:54,238
I didn't think
she'd fit in out here,

25
00:00:54,272 --> 00:00:57,708
but she's really taken
a likin' to Malibu.

26
00:00:57,742 --> 00:01:00,277
And I gotta find that gift
that says just that.

27
00:01:00,312 --> 00:01:01,979
Why don't you get her
a membership

28
00:01:02,013 --> 00:01:04,348
at the nudist colony?

29
00:01:04,382 --> 00:01:07,485
She already has one.

30
00:01:07,519 --> 00:01:10,554
Um, I don't want to brag,

31
00:01:10,589 --> 00:01:12,690
but nobody's gonna beat my gift.

32
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,258
You know how she loves
to sit out on the deck

33
00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:15,493
and watch the fishing boats?

34
00:01:15,528 --> 00:01:16,961
Yeah. I mean, I used
to like that, too,

35
00:01:16,996 --> 00:01:19,597
till I got mooned by a bunch
of drunken Norwegians.

36
00:01:19,632 --> 00:01:21,866
Well, I got her
a half-day fishing trip

37
00:01:21,901 --> 00:01:23,968
on one of those charters.

38
00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:25,470
(Cash) Oh, that's genius.
Oh!

39
00:01:25,504 --> 00:01:27,472
Hey, how about I, uh,
kick in a little dough,

40
00:01:27,506 --> 00:01:29,474
and you and I
give her that together?

41
00:01:29,508 --> 00:01:32,176
And can you lend me
a little dough?

42
00:01:32,211 --> 00:01:35,013
Show some effort, Cash.

43
00:01:35,047 --> 00:01:36,514
How about I kick in
a little dough,

44
00:01:36,549 --> 00:01:38,316
and you and I
give her that together?

45
00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:40,451
And I actually have the dough.

46
00:01:40,486 --> 00:01:42,020
I'm sorry, mom,

47
00:01:42,054 --> 00:01:44,255
but this is <i>my</i> gift to her.

48
00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:45,857
Okay, fine.

49
00:01:45,891 --> 00:01:48,259
I'm just gonna remind you
that I was in labor with you

50
00:01:48,294 --> 00:01:50,395
for 19 hours, but, uh,

51
00:01:50,429 --> 00:01:52,864
whatever.

52
00:01:54,266 --> 00:01:56,534
(Reba)
♪ Walkin' with my head high ♪

53
00:01:56,569 --> 00:01:59,470
♪ soakin' up the sunshine ♪

54
00:01:59,505 --> 00:02:04,308
♪ la-la-la-la-la,
life is sweet ♪

55
00:02:04,443 --> 00:02:05,910
Hey, mama.
How was bowling?

56
00:02:06,145 --> 00:02:08,079
It was glorious, Reba.

57
00:02:08,113 --> 00:02:11,782
The Alley Cats
kicked butt yet again,

58
00:02:11,817 --> 00:02:15,386
anchored as always by
the unbeatable combination of...

59
00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,021
(Imitates Arnold Schwarzenegger)
Arnold...

60
00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:20,191
(Normal voice)
And Lillie Mae...

61
00:02:20,225 --> 00:02:22,293
and a whole lot of beer.

62
00:02:22,327 --> 00:02:24,328
(Laughs)
Whoo!

63
00:02:24,362 --> 00:02:26,263
Mama, you've had
that ball forever.

64
00:02:26,298 --> 00:02:27,665
Oh, I have.

65
00:02:27,699 --> 00:02:29,200
Yeah. 'Bout time for
a new one, don't you think?

66
00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:32,236
Reba, bowling balls
improve with age.

67
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:36,540
They are the wine
of sporting equipment.

68
00:02:36,575 --> 00:02:37,675
Well...

69
00:02:37,709 --> 00:02:39,043
What about a backup?

70
00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:41,312
Wouldn't it be fun
to have two balls?

71
00:02:43,181 --> 00:02:45,883
(Laughs)

72
00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:49,386
Okay. I-I've got four jokes
in response to that.

73
00:02:49,421 --> 00:02:50,955
(Sighs)

74
00:02:50,989 --> 00:02:53,057
But I'm gonna pass
due to your prudish nature.

75
00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:54,258
Okay.

76
00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:55,459
(Laughs)

77
00:02:55,494 --> 00:02:57,461
Five.

78
00:02:58,797 --> 00:03:01,065
No, now enough about balls.

79
00:03:01,099 --> 00:03:02,800
I've got <i>big</i> news.

80
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,368
Okay.

81
00:03:04,402 --> 00:03:08,472
If the Alley Cats win tomorrow
night, that will advance us

82
00:03:08,507 --> 00:03:11,375
to the finals against the Tornados.

83
00:03:11,409 --> 00:03:13,577
Oh, my gosh.
That's fantastic.

84
00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,613
It gets better, baby.

85
00:03:15,647 --> 00:03:19,517
One of my teammates... Helen...
who, frankly, sucks...

86
00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:22,019
Won't be there
because she's having

87
00:03:22,053 --> 00:03:24,989
a little saline added
to her fake boobs.

88
00:03:25,023 --> 00:03:28,259
And this is where you come in.

89
00:03:28,293 --> 00:03:30,761
Shouldn't a doctor
take care of that?

90
00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:33,397
(Chuckles)

91
00:03:33,431 --> 00:03:36,133
You're gonna bowl for Helen.

92
00:03:36,168 --> 00:03:37,401
Uh-huh.

93
00:03:37,435 --> 00:03:39,436
I don't think
that's a good idea.

94
00:03:39,471 --> 00:03:42,239
Well, come on, Reba.
You're a great bowler.

95
00:03:42,274 --> 00:03:46,110
You learned from the master...
me.

96
00:03:46,144 --> 00:03:48,646
I don't know, mama.
You're so competitive.

97
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,314
And all that trash talking.

98
00:03:50,348 --> 00:03:51,715
Oh, it's mortifying

99
00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:54,084
watching you harass the
bowlers and the waitresses

100
00:03:54,119 --> 00:03:56,954
and the guy
that sprays the shoes.

101
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,889
Didn't you ask me
just last week

102
00:03:58,924 --> 00:04:00,624
what I wanted for my birthday?

103
00:04:00,659 --> 00:04:01,892
Yes.

104
00:04:01,927 --> 00:04:03,227
Well, what I want is one night

105
00:04:03,261 --> 00:04:05,863
where I get to show off
my bowling protege

106
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,932
and get our team
to the championship

107
00:04:07,966 --> 00:04:11,035
against the hated Tornados.

108
00:04:11,069 --> 00:04:14,371
(Whiny voice) Wouldn't you just
rather have a new bowling ball?

109
00:04:14,406 --> 00:04:16,340
(Whimpers)

110
00:04:16,374 --> 00:04:19,643
Well, I don't need two balls.

111
00:04:19,678 --> 00:04:22,980
But it wouldn't hurt
you to grow a pair.

112
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,489
(Lillie Mae) Hey, guys.

113
00:04:32,524 --> 00:04:35,559
I want you to meet
my daughter Reba.

114
00:04:35,594 --> 00:04:36,860
Hey.

115
00:04:36,895 --> 00:04:39,129
Reba, this handsome young chap
is Dallas.

116
00:04:39,164 --> 00:04:40,464
I'm honored to meet the acorn

117
00:04:40,498 --> 00:04:42,132
that fell from this mighty oak.

118
00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:43,500
(Laughs)

119
00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:44,935
Wow.

120
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:47,338
Thank you, Dallas.
Nice to meet you, too.

121
00:04:47,372 --> 00:04:48,672
All right,
let's rock this 'vent

122
00:04:48,707 --> 00:04:50,007
like we're in the pope's
greenroom, right?

123
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,642
Hey, okay.
Yeah.

124
00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:53,978
- I have no idea what that means.
- I don't either.

125
00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:55,145
Uh, this is Rikki.

126
00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:56,513
Rikki, this is
my daughter Reba.

127
00:04:56,548 --> 00:04:57,715
Hi, Rikki.

128
00:04:57,749 --> 00:04:59,049
Reba, you're the singer.

129
00:04:59,084 --> 00:05:01,318
Can I give you my demo?

130
00:05:01,353 --> 00:05:03,187
You know, to give
to your record label.

131
00:05:03,221 --> 00:05:04,555
Oh, you're a singer, too?

132
00:05:04,589 --> 00:05:05,656
Mm. I dabble.

133
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:07,424
I mean, I'm a lawyer
by trade,

134
00:05:07,459 --> 00:05:08,926
but on weeknights I take
a screenwriting course,

135
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,462
and on weekends I teach
a screenwriting course.

136
00:05:11,496 --> 00:05:12,830
Oh. (Chuckles)

137
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,531
Here.

138
00:05:14,566 --> 00:05:15,833
Already got one.

139
00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,301
Oh.

140
00:05:17,335 --> 00:05:18,602
(Pins clatter)

141
00:05:18,637 --> 00:05:20,204
What's that?
I'll let him know.

142
00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:21,372
Hey, hey.

143
00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:22,506
The gutter just called,

144
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:25,576
said it cannot wait
to meet your ball.

145
00:05:28,813 --> 00:05:31,682
Mama, knock it off.
Let the poor guy bowl.

146
00:05:31,716 --> 00:05:34,652
Oh, stop.
It's all in good fun.

147
00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:37,021
Hey, you should put that
toupee on that bowling ball.

148
00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:39,590
It would look
a lot more natural.

149
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,195
Ooh-hoo.

150
00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,197
(Speaks indistinctly)

151
00:05:50,235 --> 00:05:51,402
Whoo-hoo!

152
00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:53,203
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Ah!

153
00:05:53,238 --> 00:05:56,040
That's it. Oh, come on now.
You're up.

154
00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:58,008
All you need now is a
strike to win this thing

155
00:05:58,043 --> 00:06:01,412
and get us into the finals
against the Tornados.

156
00:06:01,446 --> 00:06:02,846
I've been hitting
on the weak side.

157
00:06:02,881 --> 00:06:04,748
I don't know
what I'm doing wrong.

158
00:06:04,783 --> 00:06:06,884
I do.
This lane is over oiled.

159
00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:09,119
That's why your ball isn't
hooking like it should.

160
00:06:09,154 --> 00:06:12,523
Take a half step to the left
and aim for the third mark.

161
00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,191
But that's not
my normal stance.

162
00:06:14,225 --> 00:06:16,093
Oh, damn it.
Who taught you to bowl?

163
00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:17,428
Okay.

164
00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:20,497
Just more to the left
and roll the damn ball.

165
00:06:20,532 --> 00:06:21,699
- Okay.
- Good luck, Reba.

166
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:23,033
Oh, zip it, baldy.

167
00:06:32,277 --> 00:06:33,444
Whoo!

168
00:06:33,478 --> 00:06:34,812
Oh! Oh! Oh!

169
00:06:34,846 --> 00:06:36,146
(Cheering)

170
00:06:36,181 --> 00:06:37,481
Whoo-hoo!

171
00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:38,682
Oh, lord,

172
00:06:38,717 --> 00:06:40,484
if you're thinking of
taking me anytime soon,

173
00:06:40,518 --> 00:06:43,721
tonight would be
just fine with me.

174
00:06:43,755 --> 00:06:45,622
(Rikki) Whoo-hoo!
(Laughs)

175
00:06:45,657 --> 00:06:47,558
(Both laugh)

176
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:53,097
(Doorbell rings)

177
00:06:53,131 --> 00:06:54,665
(Whistles)

178
00:06:56,134 --> 00:06:58,068
Hey, Rikki.
What are you doing here?

179
00:06:58,103 --> 00:06:59,570
Hello, Reba.
I just wanted to drop off

180
00:06:59,604 --> 00:07:01,271
a little thank-you gift
for bowling with us last night.

181
00:07:01,306 --> 00:07:03,841
- Aww. Come on in.
- Oh. Thank you very much.

182
00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,409
You didn't have to
buy me flowers.

183
00:07:05,443 --> 00:07:06,510
Oh, I didn't buy them.

184
00:07:06,544 --> 00:07:08,979
They're from
my flower arranging class.

185
00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,247
Well, thank you,

186
00:07:10,281 --> 00:07:12,216
but I'm the one who should
be buying you flowers.

187
00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:15,018
That's the most fun I've had
since I moved to Malibu.

188
00:07:15,053 --> 00:07:16,587
And that includes
watching Charlie Sheen

189
00:07:16,621 --> 00:07:18,422
run naked down the beach.

190
00:07:18,456 --> 00:07:22,126
(Laughs) Ah!
Classic Charlie.

191
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,128
So...

192
00:07:24,162 --> 00:07:26,063
Maybe you would like
to bowl again with us

193
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,998
at the championship
on Saturday?

194
00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:29,833
How come?
Helen need some more saline?

195
00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:31,168
(Laughs)

196
00:07:31,202 --> 00:07:32,536
No, no, no, no.
Helen will be there.

197
00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:34,304
There's someone else
we have to replace.

198
00:07:34,339 --> 00:07:36,340
Oh, and I like Dallas.

199
00:07:36,374 --> 00:07:37,608
No. Lillie Mae.

200
00:07:37,642 --> 00:07:39,510
We're kicking her off the team.

201
00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:40,577
(Thuds)

202
00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:42,846
You want to kick mama off the team?

203
00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:44,548
But she's your best player.

204
00:07:44,582 --> 00:07:47,217
I mean, she lives
for the Alley Cats.

205
00:07:47,252 --> 00:07:48,886
I mean,
bowling with you guys

206
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,221
is the highlight
of her week.

207
00:07:51,256 --> 00:07:53,223
Well, that and "Castle."

208
00:07:53,258 --> 00:07:55,559
Reba, this is Malibu.

209
00:07:55,593 --> 00:07:57,561
Winning isn't as important
as sportsmanship.

210
00:07:57,595 --> 00:07:59,963
Oh, and looking good.
(Chuckles)

211
00:07:59,998 --> 00:08:01,865
Mama just likes to give
the opposing team

212
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:04,835
a little good-natured razzin'.

213
00:08:04,869 --> 00:08:07,304
Last week she made
a Navy seal cry.

214
00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:10,340
Anyway,
we all talked about it,

215
00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:12,242
and we want you
to replace Lillie Mae.

216
00:08:12,277 --> 00:08:13,377
Forget it.

217
00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:14,545
I'm not gonna betray my mama

218
00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:16,046
by taking her place on the team.

219
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,347
That's too bad,

220
00:08:17,382 --> 00:08:19,316
because whether or not
you decide to join us,

221
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:20,851
Lillie Mae is out.

222
00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:22,286
Oh, boy.

223
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,321
If you didn't like her antics
on the bowling alley,

224
00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:26,223
wait till you see how she reacts

225
00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,525
when you tell her
she's off the team.

226
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:29,993
Good point.
I'll text her.

227
00:08:30,028 --> 00:08:31,261
No!

228
00:08:31,296 --> 00:08:33,630
You can't text her.

229
00:08:33,665 --> 00:08:36,099
(Sighs)
I'll tell her.

230
00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:38,469
Oh, good. I was hoping
you would say that. (Exhales)

231
00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:40,671
Oh, and you know what?

232
00:08:40,705 --> 00:08:42,372
When you decide
to redo your house,

233
00:08:42,407 --> 00:08:44,908
I have my decorator's license.

234
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,013
- I like it just the way it is.
- You do?

235
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:51,849
(High-pitched voice)
Okay.

236
00:08:53,218 --> 00:08:54,651
(High-pitched voice)
Okay.

237
00:08:54,686 --> 00:08:56,119
(Door closes)

238
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:11,727
Oh, hey, Charlie Sheen...
Ohh. Ew.

239
00:09:14,264 --> 00:09:15,897
So... did you figure out

240
00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:17,399
what you're gonna get
grandma for her birthday?

241
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:19,334
Actually, I did, and it's...
It's a home run,

242
00:09:19,369 --> 00:09:22,137
a touchdown,
and a slam dunk combined.

243
00:09:22,171 --> 00:09:23,471
Cool.

244
00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:24,973
So what is it?

245
00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:26,474
I don't know
if I should tell you.

246
00:09:26,509 --> 00:09:28,276
I, uh, don't want you
to get jealous. (Chuckles)

247
00:09:28,311 --> 00:09:30,779
It's not a competition, Cash.

248
00:09:30,813 --> 00:09:32,981
Come on.
What'd you get her?

249
00:09:33,015 --> 00:09:34,115
Okay, all right.
Check this out.

250
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:35,517
So... so I found
this great picture online.

251
00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:36,785
It's only $11.

252
00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:38,620
So I'm gonna get it
and I'm gonna frame it.

253
00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:40,188
- Good for you.
- Yeah.

254
00:09:40,222 --> 00:09:41,690
What's it a picture of?

255
00:09:41,724 --> 00:09:44,259
A fishing boat.

256
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:47,462
Cash, you are totally
stealing <i>my</i> idea.

257
00:09:47,496 --> 00:09:49,464
It's not a competition, June.

258
00:09:50,733 --> 00:09:52,000
Look, I'm giving her artwork.

259
00:09:52,034 --> 00:09:53,335
You're giving her four hours

260
00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:55,837
on a crowded, smelly boat
full of drunk guys.

261
00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:58,406
What a load of bull.

262
00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:01,142
Your gift is tangentially
related to mine.

263
00:10:01,177 --> 00:10:04,346
Every time you're losing an
argument, you resort to math.

264
00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,181
You cannot give her that picture.

265
00:10:06,215 --> 00:10:07,415
I can so give her that picture.

266
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:08,516
Cash, it's my idea!

267
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:09,851
- It's not your idea!
- Yes, it is!

268
00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:11,052
What are you guys yelling about?

269
00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:13,221
Cash stole <i>my</i>
gift idea for grandma.

270
00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:14,622
- I did not.
- Yeah, you did!

271
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,890
No, I didn't!

272
00:10:15,925 --> 00:10:18,126
Okay, knock it off!

273
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,329
A birthday gift is supposed
to come from a place of love.

274
00:10:21,364 --> 00:10:22,964
We are a family.

275
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:25,433
We do not stab each
other in the back!

276
00:10:25,468 --> 00:10:27,302
We are not flower-arranging
Alley Cats

277
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,804
who teach screenwriting!

278
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:34,376
Did you follow that?

279
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:36,878
I did not.

280
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,281
(Exhales) Oh, Reba.

281
00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:41,583
(Door closes)

282
00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:43,351
You shoulda seen me
practicing tonight

283
00:10:43,386 --> 00:10:45,120
at the bowling alley.

284
00:10:45,154 --> 00:10:48,990
I was in the groove, baby.

285
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:50,392
Reba, what's wrong?

286
00:10:50,426 --> 00:10:51,993
Mama, I got some bad news.

287
00:10:52,028 --> 00:10:55,497
Oh, no.
Did they cancel "Castle"?

288
00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:59,701
No. Rikki stopped by.

289
00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:02,103
Mama, they're kicking
you off the team.

290
00:11:02,138 --> 00:11:04,539
What?
I don't understand.

291
00:11:04,573 --> 00:11:05,774
Well, apparently,
your trash talking

292
00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:07,042
got to 'em too much,

293
00:11:07,076 --> 00:11:08,610
and they're kicking you
off the team.

294
00:11:08,644 --> 00:11:09,944
I'm sorry.

295
00:11:09,979 --> 00:11:11,046
Oh-ho!

296
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,781
They're kicking me
off the team

297
00:11:12,815 --> 00:11:15,150
right before the championship?

298
00:11:15,184 --> 00:11:16,584
They wouldn't even get
<i>to</i> the championship

299
00:11:16,619 --> 00:11:17,852
if it weren't for me.

300
00:11:17,887 --> 00:11:20,355
I'd like to see who they
get to fill my shoes.

301
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:21,623
(Chuckles)

302
00:11:21,657 --> 00:11:23,892
Well, that's the funny thing about it.

303
00:11:23,926 --> 00:11:26,494
They asked if, uh,
I would take your place.

304
00:11:26,529 --> 00:11:28,063
Oh, well, now that's crazy.

305
00:11:28,097 --> 00:11:28,897
Yeah, I know. Right?

306
00:11:28,932 --> 00:11:30,699
They could never win
with you.

307
00:11:31,434 --> 00:11:32,867
(Chuckles)

308
00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:34,469
It's not <i>that</i> crazy.

309
00:11:34,503 --> 00:11:35,537
Well...

310
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,038
I mean, I am
a pretty good bowler.

311
00:11:37,073 --> 00:11:38,606
I remember beating you one time.

312
00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:41,910
Ha! When you were 15,
and I threw that game.

313
00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:44,279
I wanted to give your
self-esteem a little boost

314
00:11:44,313 --> 00:11:47,382
after Craig Kennedy dumped you.

315
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:49,050
Craig Kennedy
did not dump me.

316
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:50,385
(Chuckles)
I dumped him.

317
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:51,820
And you did not throw
that game.

318
00:11:51,854 --> 00:11:53,388
You <i>lost</i> it.

319
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:56,224
Look, baby,
what's important here

320
00:11:56,258 --> 00:12:00,061
is not your incorrect memory
of a romantic failure

321
00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:02,063
and a fake sports victory.

322
00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:06,301
What's important is that you
didn't say yes to the Alley Cats.

323
00:12:06,335 --> 00:12:07,569
(Chuckles)

324
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,038
So you won't embarrass
yourself on Saturday night.

325
00:12:10,072 --> 00:12:13,608
Well, maybe I should say yes.

326
00:12:13,642 --> 00:12:17,545
Then your birthday present
will be a piece of humble pie.

327
00:12:18,814 --> 00:12:20,849
Why don't you go for it?

328
00:12:20,883 --> 00:12:23,384
I'll even let you use Arnold.

329
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:26,421
You're gonna need all
the help you can get.

330
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:28,089
Okay, Arnold.
It's a date.

331
00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:30,892
You and I are gon' get us a trophy.

332
00:12:30,926 --> 00:12:31,793
Oh, think about it.

333
00:12:31,828 --> 00:12:34,162
It's gonna be
such a new experience for him.

334
00:12:34,597 --> 00:12:38,133
He's never seen
the gutter before.

335
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:42,337
<i>Hasta la vista,</i> baby.

336
00:12:50,513 --> 00:12:53,348
Cash, I've been thinking
about our gifts for grandma,

337
00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:54,516
and you're right.

338
00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:55,783
It's not a competition.

339
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,187
You should definitely give
her that picture of a boat.

340
00:12:59,221 --> 00:13:00,855
(Clicks tongue) <i>Yeah.</i>

341
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:03,291
Here's the problem with that.

342
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:05,860
Turns out it wasn't
a picture of a boat.

343
00:13:05,895 --> 00:13:08,429
It was an actual boat.

344
00:13:08,464 --> 00:13:09,864
And it wasn't $11.

345
00:13:09,899 --> 00:13:11,933
It was $11,000.

346
00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:14,335
(Laughs) What?

347
00:13:14,370 --> 00:13:16,371
Cash, didn't you read the ad?

348
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:20,041
I think it's fairly obvious the
answer to that question is no.

349
00:13:20,075 --> 00:13:21,409
Ugh.
What am I gonna do?

350
00:13:21,443 --> 00:13:22,777
We're supposed to give her
the gifts later tonight,

351
00:13:22,811 --> 00:13:24,112
and I got nothin'.

352
00:13:24,146 --> 00:13:25,513
Don't worry.
You'll come up with something.

353
00:13:25,548 --> 00:13:26,781
You're very creative.

354
00:13:26,815 --> 00:13:28,049
(Laughs)

355
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,150
Ready for your big night, mom?

356
00:13:29,185 --> 00:13:30,885
I am <i>so</i> ready.

357
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,354
And so am I.

358
00:13:33,389 --> 00:13:36,191
Mama, are you wearin'
a bowling shirt?

359
00:13:36,225 --> 00:13:39,928
Oh, no. Not just
any bowling shirt.

360
00:13:39,962 --> 00:13:42,530
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's goin' on here?

361
00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:43,831
When the Tornados heard about me

362
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,733
gettin' stabbed in
the back by my team,

363
00:13:45,768 --> 00:13:49,103
they dumped one of their
guys and they drafted me.

364
00:13:49,138 --> 00:13:52,473
Now give me back my man.

365
00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:53,975
Wait.

366
00:13:54,009 --> 00:13:55,543
Does that mean
that we're gonna be

367
00:13:55,578 --> 00:13:57,779
playing against each other?

368
00:13:57,813 --> 00:14:00,381
You're a Tornado?

369
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:02,951
Yes, I am.

370
00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:04,319
Welcome to Oz...

371
00:14:04,353 --> 00:14:06,588
(Imitates Wicked Witch of the West)
My little pretty.

372
00:14:06,622 --> 00:14:09,157
(Cackles)

373
00:14:21,265 --> 00:14:22,566
(Speaks indistinctly)

374
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,867
So you've met Helen

375
00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:26,269
and her re-inflated tires.

376
00:14:26,304 --> 00:14:29,339
Yes, I've met Helen.

377
00:14:29,374 --> 00:14:31,074
Okay, listen,
don't let her bother you.

378
00:14:31,109 --> 00:14:33,643
She's just a little miffed
about what happened, okay?

379
00:14:33,678 --> 00:14:34,711
Okay.

380
00:14:34,746 --> 00:14:35,713
Lillie Mae, I swear,

381
00:14:35,747 --> 00:14:37,881
I had nothing to do with you
getting kicked off the team.

382
00:14:37,915 --> 00:14:39,383
I wasn't even consulted.

383
00:14:39,417 --> 00:14:41,284
Oh, I'm over it, Helen.

384
00:14:41,319 --> 00:14:42,619
Oh, good.

385
00:14:42,653 --> 00:14:44,154
Oh, my goodness.

386
00:14:44,188 --> 00:14:45,489
H-honey, is it just me,

387
00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:48,725
or is one of those puppies a
little bigger than the other?

388
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:49,993
What?

389
00:14:50,028 --> 00:14:51,695
You know,
I hope that imbalance

390
00:14:51,729 --> 00:14:53,897
doesn't affect your game.

391
00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:56,233
(Speaks indistinctly)

392
00:14:56,267 --> 00:15:00,404
I'm gettin' in your teammate's
head through her boobs.

393
00:15:00,438 --> 00:15:01,738
(Laughs)

394
00:15:01,773 --> 00:15:02,806
Mama, I'm warning you.

395
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,542
Don't start your trash
talking tonight.

396
00:15:05,576 --> 00:15:06,710
And what if I do?

397
00:15:06,744 --> 00:15:08,211
Well, I may just have to give you

398
00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:10,213
a little taste of your own medicine.

399
00:15:10,248 --> 00:15:11,448
Oh, you?

400
00:15:11,482 --> 00:15:13,583
You couldn't talk trash
with a garbage man.

401
00:15:19,624 --> 00:15:22,225
So any new gift ideas for grandma?

402
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,527
Not yet, but I been
hitting the soda hard,

403
00:15:23,561 --> 00:15:26,263
and that's usually when
my best ideas come.

404
00:15:26,297 --> 00:15:28,265
Well, there's
a bowling shop here.

405
00:15:28,299 --> 00:15:30,267
Maybe you could
look around in there?

406
00:15:30,301 --> 00:15:32,202
I did, and I casually asked grandma

407
00:15:32,236 --> 00:15:34,771
if she needed any ball polish.

408
00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:36,807
But she just cracked up
and walked away.

409
00:15:36,841 --> 00:15:38,909
How's the match going?

410
00:15:38,943 --> 00:15:42,546
Well, grandma's team
won the first game.

411
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:43,814
And mom's won the second.

412
00:15:43,848 --> 00:15:45,549
Whoever wins this one
wins the match.

413
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:49,319
Either way, it's gonna be
a fun car ride home.

414
00:15:49,353 --> 00:15:50,754
(Pins clatter)

415
00:15:50,788 --> 00:15:52,189
Hang on, mama.

416
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:53,423
I'll get 'em to bring up
the kiddy bumpers for you.

417
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:54,825
(Laughs) Mama.

418
00:15:54,859 --> 00:15:56,159
Reba, will you stop
with the trash talking?

419
00:15:56,194 --> 00:15:57,661
You're as bad as your mother.

420
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,296
I'm not as bad.
I'm better.

421
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:02,399
Ain't gonna happen, granny.

422
00:16:05,803 --> 00:16:06,937
Whoo!

423
00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:09,306
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

424
00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:10,440
Ha ha ha!

425
00:16:10,475 --> 00:16:11,842
Whoo! Whoo, whoo, whoo,
whoo, whoo!

426
00:16:11,876 --> 00:16:14,211
Oh, hey, were you saying
something, sweetheart?

427
00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:19,015
I could not hear a word over
the sound of crashing pins.

428
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,417
Sit down, crazy lady.

429
00:16:20,451 --> 00:16:22,886
Listen, it all boils down to you.

430
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,689
We need eight pins to tie
and nine pins to win.

431
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:26,823
So come on.
Focus.

432
00:16:26,858 --> 00:16:28,125
I'm fine.

433
00:16:28,159 --> 00:16:29,192
No, you're rattled.

434
00:16:29,227 --> 00:16:30,994
She's got you trash-talking like her.

435
00:16:31,028 --> 00:16:32,562
This is what Lillie Mae does.

436
00:16:32,597 --> 00:16:35,599
(Clenched teeth)
She gets in people's heads.

437
00:16:39,670 --> 00:16:40,971
Okay, you're right.

438
00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:42,239
I'm sorry.

439
00:16:42,273 --> 00:16:44,307
She was in my head.
Now she's out of my head.

440
00:16:44,342 --> 00:16:45,475
I'm focused.

441
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:47,310
Okay?

442
00:16:47,345 --> 00:16:49,646
(Exhales)

443
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:50,647
(Whispers) Watch this.

444
00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:54,284
Whoa.
Is that Craig Kennedy?

445
00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:58,021
(Crowd groans)
(Man) Yes! Yes!

446
00:16:58,055 --> 00:16:59,389
Yes!

447
00:16:59,423 --> 00:17:00,724
(Rikki) You have another roll.
You have another roll.

448
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:01,825
Don't worry about it.

449
00:17:01,859 --> 00:17:02,959
I've just about
had enough of you.

450
00:17:02,994 --> 00:17:04,194
Oh, and by the way,
the owner called.

451
00:17:04,228 --> 00:17:09,065
He appreciates you going
easy on the pins.

452
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,400
Would you stop it?

453
00:17:10,434 --> 00:17:11,535
(Laughs)

454
00:17:11,569 --> 00:17:13,236
Is winning really that
important to you?

455
00:17:13,271 --> 00:17:15,238
Yeah.

456
00:17:15,273 --> 00:17:16,540
Why?

457
00:17:16,574 --> 00:17:18,675
You wouldn't understand.

458
00:17:25,816 --> 00:17:27,851
Mama, what is it?

459
00:17:27,885 --> 00:17:29,886
Bowling is part of who I am.

460
00:17:29,921 --> 00:17:31,922
Life is different for you.

461
00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:33,790
You have an identity.

462
00:17:33,824 --> 00:17:36,059
You can sing like nobody's business.

463
00:17:36,093 --> 00:17:38,862
Well, thank you very much,
but you have an identity, too.

464
00:17:38,896 --> 00:17:39,963
No, not really.

465
00:17:39,997 --> 00:17:41,298
My whole life,
I've always been

466
00:17:41,332 --> 00:17:43,934
somebody's daughter,
somebody's mother.

467
00:17:43,968 --> 00:17:47,170
But here at the bowling alley,
people look at me, they say,

468
00:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,939
"there goes
Lillie Mae Mackenzie.

469
00:17:48,973 --> 00:17:50,974
Ooh, she kicks ass."

470
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:52,842
Do you want me to tell you

471
00:17:52,877 --> 00:17:54,911
what I think your identity is?

472
00:17:54,946 --> 00:17:56,980
You're a fearless woman.

473
00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:58,615
Mama, I was scared to death

474
00:17:58,649 --> 00:18:00,417
when we made the move out here.

475
00:18:00,451 --> 00:18:02,385
But with you by my side,
I knew I could do it.

476
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:03,854
You're not scared
of anything.

477
00:18:03,889 --> 00:18:05,489
Well, except parrots.

478
00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:08,392
Well, except parrots.
Yeah. (Speaks indistinctly)

479
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:11,161
I mean, they should not
be able to talk, Reba.

480
00:18:11,195 --> 00:18:13,563
They are an abomination.

481
00:18:13,598 --> 00:18:15,765
Mama, you said that
I didn't understand.

482
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,334
Well, I do.

483
00:18:17,368 --> 00:18:19,603
For years I felt like

484
00:18:19,637 --> 00:18:22,372
I was nothin' more than
Bobby Gallagher's wife.

485
00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:25,242
And then we split up,
and I had a new identity.

486
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:27,544
I was Bobby Gallagher's ex.

487
00:18:27,578 --> 00:18:30,113
And who do you think
finally convinced me

488
00:18:30,147 --> 00:18:31,781
that I was more than that?

489
00:18:31,816 --> 00:18:33,583
You did.

490
00:18:33,618 --> 00:18:34,751
I had to do something.

491
00:18:34,785 --> 00:18:36,052
You were moping around

492
00:18:36,087 --> 00:18:37,754
like you were a dog
who'd lost her chew toy.

493
00:18:37,788 --> 00:18:38,955
(Laughs)

494
00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:42,859
Mama, the point is, you're my rock.

495
00:18:42,893 --> 00:18:46,396
I count on you more than
anybody else in this world.

496
00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:49,633
And you don't have to win at
bowling to have an identity.

497
00:18:49,667 --> 00:18:52,702
Thank you, baby.

498
00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:55,005
I should never have
competed with you,

499
00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:58,608
because you are the only
trophy I need in my life.

500
00:18:58,643 --> 00:19:00,043
Mama.
(Laughs)

501
00:19:00,077 --> 00:19:01,478
Reba, come on.

502
00:19:01,512 --> 00:19:02,846
(Sighs)

503
00:19:03,981 --> 00:19:05,949
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna have to pass.

504
00:19:05,983 --> 00:19:08,184
If you don't bowl,
we forfeit.

505
00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:09,419
I'm sorry.

506
00:19:09,453 --> 00:19:11,521
No, no. You listen to me,
Reba Mackenzie.

507
00:19:11,555 --> 00:19:13,189
You are not gonna quit
on your team.

508
00:19:13,224 --> 00:19:15,358
You go back over
and finish that game

509
00:19:15,393 --> 00:19:18,094
or this rock is gonna
come down on your head.

510
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,567
I just don't have it tonight.

511
00:19:24,602 --> 00:19:26,536
Take a half a step to the right.

512
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:27,837
What?

513
00:19:27,872 --> 00:19:30,206
They did not oil the lanes
before the match.

514
00:19:30,241 --> 00:19:31,708
Go back to your original approach,

515
00:19:31,742 --> 00:19:34,577
and your ball is gonna
hook in there like gangbusters.

516
00:19:45,022 --> 00:19:46,623
Oh! Whoo!

517
00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:47,924
Whoo!

518
00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:49,659
We win! We win!

519
00:19:49,694 --> 00:19:51,861
We win! We win! We win!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

520
00:19:51,896 --> 00:19:53,730
Whoa! (Laughs)

521
00:19:53,764 --> 00:19:55,198
What just happened?

522
00:19:55,232 --> 00:19:57,567
I don't know, baby.
You just might suck at bowling.

523
00:19:57,601 --> 00:20:00,970
(Laughs) Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo!

524
00:20:03,474 --> 00:20:04,641
(Laughs) Whoo.

525
00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:05,775
Parrots.

526
00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:08,144
(Screaming)

527
00:20:19,646 --> 00:20:21,813
Oh, June. I love it.

528
00:20:21,848 --> 00:20:24,116
You've been watching me
watch those fishing boats,

529
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:25,851
- haven't you?
- Yep.

530
00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:26,886
And now you can fish.

531
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,121
Well, I can't wait to
catch a big ol' tuna

532
00:20:29,155 --> 00:20:31,156
and then moon Kim.

533
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:32,591
(June and Reba laugh)

534
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,493
Thank you, sweetheart.
Mwah.

535
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:35,827
(Laughs)

536
00:20:35,862 --> 00:20:38,397
Cash, you ready to give
grandma your gift?

537
00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:44,236
Limes.

538
00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:47,172
Well, somebody grab
the Tequila and salt.

539
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:48,907
No, I-it's not limes, grandma.

540
00:20:48,942 --> 00:20:51,476
It's... it's a juggling kit.
I'm-a teach you to juggle.

541
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:52,611
(Laughs)

542
00:20:52,645 --> 00:20:54,446
Oh, Cash. Do that again.
I love that.

543
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,515
Okay.
I've always wanted to juggle.

544
00:20:56,549 --> 00:20:57,749
(Laughs)

545
00:20:57,784 --> 00:21:00,452
Oh. You have the most
imaginative gifts. Ohh.

546
00:21:00,486 --> 00:21:01,620
(Laughs)

547
00:21:01,654 --> 00:21:03,722
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

548
00:21:03,756 --> 00:21:05,958
To be honest,
it was June's suggestion.

549
00:21:05,992 --> 00:21:07,059
Aww.

550
00:21:07,093 --> 00:21:08,427
To have me go in
on the fishing boat thing.

551
00:21:08,461 --> 00:21:12,064
But I like to come up
with ideas myself.

552
00:21:12,098 --> 00:21:13,165
Well, I think these are

553
00:21:13,199 --> 00:21:16,034
the best birthday gifts
I have ever gotten.

554
00:21:16,069 --> 00:21:17,569
And I just love you so much,

555
00:21:17,603 --> 00:21:20,706
and I cannot be happier
than being right here.

556
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:22,107
Well, I'm glad you're happy, mama,

557
00:21:22,141 --> 00:21:24,042
but if you think about it,

558
00:21:24,077 --> 00:21:25,510
I didn't give you anything.

559
00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:27,279
What are you talking about?

560
00:21:27,313 --> 00:21:29,147
Baby, you got me this.

561
00:21:29,182 --> 00:21:30,316
(Laughs)

562
00:21:30,351 --> 00:21:31,919
(Laughs)

563
00:21:31,953 --> 00:21:35,222
Sync and corrections by bellows
www.Addic7ed.Com

