1
00:00:02,088 --> 00:00:04,165
[Screaming]
2
00:00:04,290 --> 00:00:07,903
And that is what we call
the hammer tire!
3
00:00:08,028 --> 00:00:10,572
The sledgehammer does not come
with your Demamp Camp:
4
00:00:10,697 --> 00:00:13,013
Working Out With Tires DVD purchase.
5
00:00:13,266 --> 00:00:14,831
Blake, you get that?
6
00:00:14,956 --> 00:00:17,518
God damn it, Adam. Yes.
We got it.
7
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,353
Hey, Blake,
don't talk to me like that.
8
00:00:19,573 --> 00:00:21,147
Ders, did we get that?
9
00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,773
That argument for the
behind-the-scenes camera?
10
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,352
Oh, no, no, no, this camera's not
11
00:00:24,477 --> 00:00:25,554
behind-the-scenes footage, okay?
12
00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:27,255
This is my MTV True Life:
13
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:28,487
I'm in a Ménage A Braj.
14
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,767
Heh, heh, Ménage A Braj.
15
00:00:29,892 --> 00:00:31,142
- Let's focus, all right?
- All right, yep.
16
00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:32,961
We're missing some exercises here.
17
00:00:33,086 --> 00:00:34,326
- Let me check the list.
- Pffft.
18
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,912
We got the tire hammer.
We got tire jump.
19
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:37,904
- Tire wiggle.
- Yep.
20
00:00:38,029 --> 00:00:39,216
- Tire waggle.
- Got it.
21
00:00:39,341 --> 00:00:40,168
- The tire flip lift!
- Yes.
22
00:00:40,293 --> 00:00:41,894
- That's right.
- Good call, good call.
23
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:42,953
Blake, you getting this?
24
00:00:43,078 --> 00:00:44,840
Oh, I'm getting it, baby.
We got it.
25
00:00:45,865 --> 00:00:49,278
This next exercise,
your bis might turn into tris,
26
00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:52,848
while your tris might turn
into God knows what.
27
00:00:52,973 --> 00:00:54,406
Are you ready?
28
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:55,722
Yeah.
29
00:00:55,888 --> 00:00:56,952
[Screaming]
30
00:00:57,077 --> 00:00:58,183
[Snap]
31
00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,654
All: Oh!
32
00:00:59,779 --> 00:01:01,395
My shoulders!
[Screams]
33
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,521
We gotta get you to a hospital!
34
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,125
- Pop it back into place!
- No, no, no.
35
00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:05,527
- I'm gonna pop it back!
- No, don't...
36
00:01:05,652 --> 00:01:06,828
- [crunch]
- Ohhh!
37
00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:08,443
That made it so much worse!
38
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:16,076
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:21,743
- Let me out.
- I cannot believe
40
00:01:21,868 --> 00:01:23,211
they let you walk out of the E.R.
41
00:01:23,336 --> 00:01:24,479
looking this way.
42
00:01:24,604 --> 00:01:25,877
We gotta get you fixed.
43
00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:27,516
Yeah, for 2,000 bucks?
Yeah, right.
44
00:01:27,641 --> 00:01:29,183
I'm saving up for hair plugs
for when I need them
45
00:01:29,308 --> 00:01:30,852
- in the future.
- Well, what's the deal, man?
46
00:01:30,977 --> 00:01:32,220
I thought you had insurance.
47
00:01:32,345 --> 00:01:33,488
We laughed so much times at those
48
00:01:33,613 --> 00:01:35,429
- Geico Gecko commercials.
- Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,892
I guess my Grandpa must have
taken me off his plan,
50
00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:38,459
which is fine,
'cause I hate that man.
51
00:01:38,584 --> 00:01:40,028
Don't wanna be on his stupid
insurance anyways.
52
00:01:40,153 --> 00:01:41,563
Could you let me out of here?
53
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:42,831
You can't live like this,
Adam, come on.
54
00:01:42,956 --> 00:01:46,106
You have to start the wave today
at Jillian's hockey game.
55
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,869
I can lead the wave.
I can...[Shrieks]
56
00:01:47,994 --> 00:01:49,538
Okay, that actually hurts a lot.
I'll do it next time.
57
00:01:49,663 --> 00:01:50,944
Doesn't matter.
Could you open the door?
58
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,340
All right, fine, it's settled.
59
00:01:52,465 --> 00:01:53,447
We're gonna go see Gramps Demamp.
60
00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:54,990
Yep. 'Cause you know what?
61
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:56,578
You're lucky you even have a grandpa.
62
00:01:56,703 --> 00:01:58,013
I never even met mine.
63
00:01:58,138 --> 00:01:59,280
I bet he was awesome.
I be he had crazy hair.
64
00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:00,549
Yeah, I bet he did.
65
00:02:00,674 --> 00:02:02,773
I mean, old people are really cool.
66
00:02:02,898 --> 00:02:04,460
They're like...
they're like the crypt keeper.
67
00:02:04,585 --> 00:02:05,417
They just tell you stories.
68
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:06,955
Yeah, or like young wizards.
69
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,295
Fine. I'll tell you guys.
70
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,088
My grandfather touched me as a kid.
71
00:02:10,254 --> 00:02:12,174
- In the butt hole.
- What?
72
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,261
Okay, he didn't actually touch me.
73
00:02:13,386 --> 00:02:14,495
He refused to hug me.
74
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:15,897
I am not gonna go see my Grandpa!
75
00:02:16,022 --> 00:02:17,679
You let me out of this car right now.
76
00:02:17,845 --> 00:02:19,200
No, we're taking you
to see him, all right?
77
00:02:19,325 --> 00:02:20,599
- Blake, map it. We're going.
- Got it.
78
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:24,060
Hi. Here to see George Demamp.
79
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,020
He's my grandfather.
80
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,938
If he's dead, I'm okay with that.
81
00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:28,543
You act like you wouldn't
care, but you would.
82
00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:31,068
You would cry.
Sign in, please.
83
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,360
Whoa, check it out, guys.
84
00:02:32,526 --> 00:02:34,649
This dude throws knives into cats.
85
00:02:34,774 --> 00:02:37,574
That's a gun and a coyote.
You can tell from the snout.
86
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,621
- Oh.
- But yeah, this is my day job.
87
00:02:39,746 --> 00:02:41,578
My real passion is animal control.
88
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,858
My little line is,
"the animals in here
89
00:02:43,983 --> 00:02:46,127
are way worse
than the coyotes out there."
90
00:02:46,252 --> 00:02:48,367
[Laughs]
That's a good joke.
91
00:02:48,492 --> 00:02:49,461
- That's clever.
- That's funny.
92
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:50,545
- Thank you.
- It's not clever.
93
00:02:50,711 --> 00:02:52,881
And it sure as hell
isn't a good joke.
94
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:55,592
The people that walk these halls
built this country, okay?
95
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,719
- It's my little line.
- All right.
96
00:02:57,885 --> 00:03:00,722
Which room is my dumb, stupid,
fat, ugly Grandpa in?
97
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:02,974
Gun one, gun two...
98
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:04,976
Hey, Grandpa!
99
00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:06,812
Oh.
100
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,929
Well, well, well.
101
00:03:09,054 --> 00:03:11,716
Look who it is.
Short-wide.
102
00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:13,068
Mm, good one.
103
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,589
You come out of the closet yet?
104
00:03:14,714 --> 00:03:17,280
[Forced laughter]
No.
105
00:03:17,446 --> 00:03:19,901
Only closet I'm in is the one
that I'm trapped in.
106
00:03:20,026 --> 00:03:22,013
With R. Kelly, watching a rap opera.
107
00:03:22,138 --> 00:03:23,531
Ah, cut the crap.
I know why you're here.
108
00:03:23,656 --> 00:03:26,267
You want to weasel
back onto my health insurance,
109
00:03:26,392 --> 00:03:27,833
you damn freeloader.
110
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,437
I'm not a freeloader, okay?
111
00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:31,072
It's just I can't afford
health insurance,
112
00:03:31,197 --> 00:03:32,774
and I expect it to be free.
113
00:03:32,899 --> 00:03:35,006
- I have to go to the hospital.
- Hospital?
114
00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:38,046
Hospital didn't help me
when I rode a Jeep
115
00:03:38,171 --> 00:03:42,283
out of a B-52 at 35,000 feet...
116
00:03:42,408 --> 00:03:43,723
It was 25,000 last time.
117
00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:46,271
35,000 feet,
118
00:03:46,396 --> 00:03:48,589
had to parachute
into enemy territory,
119
00:03:48,714 --> 00:03:51,659
and took eight bullets up my ass.
120
00:03:51,784 --> 00:03:52,732
Yeah.
121
00:03:52,898 --> 00:03:54,062
But you don't know anything
about that
122
00:03:54,187 --> 00:03:55,777
because you've never been in a war!
123
00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:57,565
Yeah, I've never been in a war
124
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,822
'cause there's never been
any big wars for me to serve in!
125
00:03:59,947 --> 00:04:01,992
Oh, jeez, you know,
I don't have time for this.
126
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,705
I've got my annual Luau,
127
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:06,708
and I am in charge of the pig.
128
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:09,416
And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Holly.
129
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,210
Aunt Holly has a glandular disorder.
130
00:04:12,376 --> 00:04:14,115
Hey, could you hold that door?
131
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,725
I actually can't open doors!
132
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,592
[Door slams]
Ow! Ow!
133
00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:20,989
[Muffled]
I demand...
134
00:04:21,114 --> 00:04:22,456
[crunch, agonized screams]
135
00:04:22,581 --> 00:04:23,858
Why did you bring your flip cam?
136
00:04:23,983 --> 00:04:26,027
'Cause I'm changing the plan.
137
00:04:26,152 --> 00:04:27,528
It's gonna be MTV True Life:
138
00:04:27,653 --> 00:04:29,019
I'm into old people.
I don't care.
139
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,563
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check out this old Braj.
140
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,434
[Blues music]
141
00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:36,651
♪ On a big ol' shady oak tree ♪
142
00:04:36,817 --> 00:04:39,648
[Laughing]
Oh, man. This dude is sick!
143
00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:41,740
I'm talking, like, terminally chill.
144
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:42,977
- [Singing]
- He is chill.
145
00:04:43,102 --> 00:04:44,445
I'm just gonna need a fresher angle
146
00:04:44,570 --> 00:04:46,391
than some aged rocker.
147
00:04:46,516 --> 00:04:48,750
I mean, W.W.K.L.D.?
148
00:04:49,181 --> 00:04:50,381
What would Kurt Loder do?
149
00:04:50,506 --> 00:04:51,833
♪ Said I was born ♪
150
00:04:51,999 --> 00:04:54,791
Old people have been around
since the dawn of time.
151
00:04:54,916 --> 00:04:57,228
They have stories and messages.
Here's one now.
152
00:04:57,353 --> 00:05:00,300
Hey, ma'am, can I ask you
a few ques...
153
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,177
we'll find a better one than that.
154
00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:05,388
Hey, nice shot.
155
00:05:05,554 --> 00:05:06,723
I know.
156
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,099
Is it okay if I ask you
a couple questions?
157
00:05:08,265 --> 00:05:09,184
Questions?
158
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:10,772
Just questions about your life.
159
00:05:10,897 --> 00:05:13,374
You know, I feel like people
of your generation
160
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,276
have such wisdom that you can share.
161
00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:18,561
Why don't you tell me
about what you did
162
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,403
before you lived here?
163
00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:22,155
I traveled to the world's
best cities,
164
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:24,119
and in exchange,
165
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,618
I married a rich man I didn't love.
166
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,828
- Yeah.
- But enough about me.
167
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:31,906
- Shoot.
- I-I don't know how to play.
168
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,453
My dad never let me in the
billiards room growing up, so...
169
00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:35,904
Oh, that's heartbreaking.
170
00:05:36,029 --> 00:05:37,665
Maybe I can help you.
171
00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:38,900
Ow.
172
00:05:39,025 --> 00:05:41,080
All right, I'll start low?
173
00:05:41,205 --> 00:05:42,801
Now, before you shoot...
174
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,538
[Whispers]
Close your eyes,
175
00:05:44,663 --> 00:05:46,763
and put it in.
176
00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:49,410
Is everything okay in here?
177
00:05:49,535 --> 00:05:51,184
It's fine, Mark.
Just fine.
178
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,448
Why don't we go somewhere
where we can be
179
00:05:54,573 --> 00:05:55,855
a little more private?
180
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,607
All right.
181
00:05:57,773 --> 00:06:00,755
♪ She don't want me no more ♪
182
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,924
Whoo!
[Laughs]
183
00:06:03,049 --> 00:06:04,525
Yeah!
That was awesome, man!
184
00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:06,986
Where'd you learn
how to play like that?
185
00:06:07,111 --> 00:06:08,896
I roadied for ZZ Top.
186
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:12,330
Plus I started taking
guitar lessons last year.
187
00:06:12,496 --> 00:06:13,934
I love ZZ Top.
188
00:06:14,059 --> 00:06:15,500
They're like the champagne
of beer-drinking music.
189
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,461
Brother, I could tell you
some stories.
190
00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:20,422
I would love to hear those.
[Lighter sparks]
191
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,799
Oh, my gosh.
What are you...
192
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:23,967
what are you doing?
193
00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:26,678
I... you got a cigarette in your neck.
194
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,137
Hey, you can't smoke in here.
195
00:06:29,262 --> 00:06:30,307
He can't smoke in here.
196
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,840
And he knows that, because we've
been through this, Arthur.
197
00:06:32,965 --> 00:06:33,768
Haven't we?
198
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,772
I don't get to have
any fun in this dump.
199
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:40,128
They took away my cigarettes.
200
00:06:40,253 --> 00:06:42,068
They took away my booze.
201
00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:44,988
I can't even steal any pills anymore.
202
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,735
I mean, what is wrong
with young people today, huh?
203
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,471
They need to respect their elders'...
204
00:06:50,596 --> 00:06:53,788
desire to do as many drugs
as they want.
205
00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:56,791
You seem to me to be
a pretty righteous hombre.
206
00:06:58,171 --> 00:07:00,420
I wish you were my grandpa.
207
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:01,615
I tell you what.
208
00:07:01,740 --> 00:07:03,884
You run some interference for me,
209
00:07:04,009 --> 00:07:05,717
help me score some pills,
210
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:09,304
you can call me
anything you want, son.
211
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,825
I know that I haven't been
in, like, a war war.
212
00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:15,101
But last spring, I got
in a fight at a dodgers game,
213
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:16,464
and yeah, he beat me up pretty good.
214
00:07:16,589 --> 00:07:18,132
It was a very, very violent
Mexican man.
215
00:07:18,257 --> 00:07:19,564
But I got the first laugh.
216
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,399
But you're too fat to fight.
217
00:07:21,565 --> 00:07:23,193
Go home, short-wide.
218
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,638
I got a pig to carve.
219
00:07:24,763 --> 00:07:26,780
And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Silvia.
220
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,158
Stop it! You stop!
221
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,679
Ow!
222
00:07:31,804 --> 00:07:33,981
Ow.
223
00:07:34,106 --> 00:07:35,246
I am not a pussy.
224
00:07:35,412 --> 00:07:38,166
And I'm gonna prove it to you.
225
00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:49,215
{pub}I'm gonna launch off this roof
at 7 miles per hour
226
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:51,062
like a war helicopter.
227
00:07:51,187 --> 00:07:53,431
Then I'm gonna deploy this bed sheet
228
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,167
as my parachute...
229
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:59,562
And gently drop down to safety.
230
00:07:59,728 --> 00:08:01,856
You're gonna die.
231
00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:03,808
So would your girlfriend
be mad if she knew
232
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:06,277
you were all alone
in another woman's room?
233
00:08:06,443 --> 00:08:07,712
No, I don't even have a girlf...
234
00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:09,346
I'm between girlfriends right now.
235
00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:11,866
Models is what I'm usually dating,
236
00:08:12,032 --> 00:08:14,652
but no, this is
strictly journalistic, so...
237
00:08:14,777 --> 00:08:17,747
well, come and get your scoop.
238
00:08:17,913 --> 00:08:19,457
I know what you're doing,
239
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,125
but your husband's
sleeping right there.
240
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,544
Oh, honey, my husband's
been sleeping there
241
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,337
for the last six years.
242
00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:26,172
[Soft music playing]
Drop your pants,
243
00:08:26,338 --> 00:08:29,217
and I'll tell you everything
you want.
244
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:30,802
All right, I just...
245
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:32,595
I really want to be on MTV True Life.
246
00:08:32,761 --> 00:08:34,472
Have you seen it?
247
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,267
It's pretty good.
248
00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:39,340
Oh, not so fast, Bronco.
249
00:08:39,465 --> 00:08:40,979
- Ow.
- I may not be old,
250
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,413
but I am old-fashioned.
251
00:08:42,538 --> 00:08:46,651
So, uh, dance for me first.
252
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,948
♪ ♪
253
00:08:52,802 --> 00:08:54,189
Right? And then a little bit of this.
254
00:08:54,314 --> 00:08:55,101
It's not the butterfly.
255
00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:57,245
It's the tootsie roll.
Know what I mean?
256
00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:09,591
[Clears throat loudly]
257
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,551
Nice day.
258
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,524
- Uh-huh.
- What kind of enchiladas
259
00:09:13,649 --> 00:09:15,446
were those, huh?
Road kill?
260
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:17,307
Mm-hmm.
261
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,425
Wouldn't mind if we had
some smooth pudding
262
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,144
every once in a while.
263
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,438
Oh! Oh!
264
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,722
I'm coming, sir.
265
00:09:24,847 --> 00:09:26,490
- Oh, bacon bits!
- Okay.
266
00:09:26,615 --> 00:09:27,625
Oh, just the tip of my hip...
267
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,219
no, no need to touch, really!
268
00:09:29,344 --> 00:09:31,161
No, it's fine.
269
00:09:31,286 --> 00:09:32,405
You got witch hands.
270
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,991
- No.
- You got witch hands, okay?
271
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,600
Oh, so tell me about the '60s.
272
00:09:36,725 --> 00:09:39,204
Did you march, and for what side?
273
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,040
What happened?
Did somebody hit the emergency...
274
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,210
Peggy, Jesus Christ.
Not again.
275
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,768
Again?
276
00:09:48,712 --> 00:09:50,214
[Laughing]
Nice, I think we got 'em, man.
277
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,950
Hey! You are not two old men.
278
00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:56,278
You are an old man, but you are not.
279
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,725
And in conclusion,
280
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,827
as the civil rights activist
281
00:10:02,952 --> 00:10:05,863
Dr. Martens Luther King once said,
282
00:10:05,988 --> 00:10:09,033
take yee sleazy.
283
00:10:09,158 --> 00:10:10,668
And I'm out.
284
00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:13,838
[Cart whirring]
285
00:10:13,963 --> 00:10:16,699
[Screaming]
286
00:10:16,865 --> 00:10:18,117
Ow, my shoulders!
287
00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:19,536
Oh, God!
288
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,636
Oh, God!
289
00:10:25,336 --> 00:10:26,124
Damn it.
290
00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:27,734
Okay, you three, guess what.
291
00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:31,214
Go to your rooms,
and say aloha to the Luau.
292
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,092
But make it the good-bye aloha,
'cause you're not going.
293
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,643
Get. And you three,
get the hell out of here.
294
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:37,845
Don't film me.
295
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,139
Don't film me anymore.
296
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,808
This is all your fault.
297
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,644
- Blake.
- See ya, Grandpa.
298
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,320
- This sucks.
- [Groaning]
299
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,055
I finally get a grandpa
worth keeping and loving,
300
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,656
and his beard slips
right through my fingers.
301
00:10:49,781 --> 00:10:51,786
Yeah, and I might as well
call my true life
302
00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:53,624
MTV True Life: I can't make
an MTV True Life
303
00:10:53,749 --> 00:10:54,404
to save my life.
304
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,073
- This isn't over. Mm-mm.
- No, it's not.
305
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,866
You still need insurance
from your Gramps.
306
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,402
I need to prove to that
old turd that I'm a real Demamp.
307
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,070
I'm gonna steal
his wrinkly ass out of here,
308
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:04,539
and then I'm gonna take him
to the yard,
309
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:05,999
and the yard is our house,
310
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,674
and I'm gonna bark at him
like a big dog,
311
00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:09,210
'cause I'm a big dog,
and I'm ready to...
312
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,629
[Howling]
Howwwl!
313
00:11:11,795 --> 00:11:13,214
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know, man.
314
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:14,748
I'm in a lot of pain right now.
315
00:11:14,873 --> 00:11:16,092
I think I might die.
316
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,685
Lady and old dudes,
317
00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:22,256
welcome to the inautical
our Luau for old people party.
318
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,433
Hey, what's up?
319
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:24,976
[Whistles]
320
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:26,693
- Jillian!
- Hey!
321
00:11:26,818 --> 00:11:29,096
- Where's the Luau stuff?
- What is this?
322
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:30,297
I don't know.
It's a Luau.
323
00:11:30,422 --> 00:11:32,359
It's a different kind of Luau.
324
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,736
Luau? Blake texted me Lou Albano.
325
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,071
- What?
- I thought he meant, like,
326
00:11:37,237 --> 00:11:38,929
"Captain Lou" Albano,
the wrestling manager
327
00:11:39,054 --> 00:11:40,617
and Cindy Lauper's dad.
328
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,443
Ohhh, yeah, psh.
Look at that.
329
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:46,956
Phone must've auto-corrected
Luau to Lou Albano.
330
00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,334
Wow, that's insane.
331
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,502
How often are you texting
the words "Lou Albano"?
332
00:11:51,668 --> 00:11:52,986
I don't know.
333
00:11:53,111 --> 00:11:54,839
Like, four to five times a week.
334
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:57,224
But what's up with all the cool, uh,
335
00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:59,135
hip, happening chicks, Jillian?
336
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:00,595
Oh, this is my hockey team.
337
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,388
We were gonna go to the bar
338
00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:03,830
after our big win,
but this seemed like more fun.
339
00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:06,633
Yeah, bunch of crazy Russian bitches.
340
00:12:06,758 --> 00:12:08,001
[Laughs]
No, they're dolls.
341
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:09,670
They're sweet girls.
342
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,972
- Oh, I bet.
- What's up, babies?
343
00:12:12,097 --> 00:12:14,141
You know the mouth of the South
ain't gonna miss
344
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:17,362
a "Captain Lou" Albano party
with hockey chicks!
345
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,488
[Cheers and laughter]
346
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,281
Slash-Luau.
347
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,616
It's me.
Uh, it's Karl.
348
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,619
I'm dressed as Jimmy Hart.
349
00:12:33,937 --> 00:12:38,073
{pub}So how does our Luau compare
to your old folks' Luau?
350
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,743
I like this one a lot better.
351
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:42,311
Thank you.
We worked kind of...
352
00:12:42,436 --> 00:12:44,263
Oh, I see what you're...
353
00:12:44,429 --> 00:12:47,082
God, you're...
hey! Here's the deal.
354
00:12:47,207 --> 00:12:48,851
I'll let you have a dance, one song,
355
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,853
but then you gotta answer
one of my questions.
356
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,605
- Sure thing, babe.
- All right.
357
00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:55,157
Have a good...
358
00:12:55,282 --> 00:12:57,318
have a good time.
359
00:12:57,484 --> 00:12:59,629
[Russian pop music playing]
360
00:12:59,754 --> 00:13:02,824
Ahh.
[Chuckles]
361
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,133
- Now, this is my kinda party.
- Yeah.
362
00:13:04,258 --> 00:13:05,618
What's going on here?
363
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:06,869
Russian drinking game.
364
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,638
No pussy men allowed.
365
00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:11,249
Whoa, okay,
USA all the way, all right?
366
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:14,189
I bet 20 bucks my Gramps here
could drink y'all
367
00:13:14,314 --> 00:13:16,879
Dolph Lundgrenettes under the table.
368
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,965
- Let's go.
- All right.
369
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,216
Show 'em who's boss.
370
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,427
- [Chuckling]
- Mm-hmm.
371
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:26,472
♪ ♪
372
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:27,790
- Whoo!
- Ahh.
373
00:13:27,915 --> 00:13:29,308
- Yeah!
- Lina.
374
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:31,394
- We need more vodka.
- Why?
375
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,772
We got plenty of good alcohol
right here.
376
00:13:34,938 --> 00:13:36,774
Oh, no, that's hand sanitizer.
377
00:13:36,940 --> 00:13:38,634
That's not...
378
00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:42,572
[gulping]
379
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,707
Ah.
380
00:13:44,832 --> 00:13:45,992
Want some?
381
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,509
He beat me.
382
00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:50,112
Straight up.
Pay him.
383
00:13:50,237 --> 00:13:51,330
Pay this man his money.
384
00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:52,982
Whoo!
[Laughs]
385
00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:54,584
Anybody got any hard drugs?
386
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,878
[Laughs awkwardly]
USA.
387
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,671
Uh-oh.
388
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,465
Grandpa.
He's just taking a nap.
389
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,757
Grandpa...
390
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,292
Whoo!
391
00:14:03,417 --> 00:14:05,720
Anybody got any hard drugs?
392
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,847
[Grunting]
393
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,883
Grandpa, I know you think
I pussed out earlier,
394
00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:11,221
but I'm gonna prove to you
once and for all
395
00:14:11,346 --> 00:14:12,769
I'm a real Demamp, starting now.
396
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,383
- Jillian, you ready?
- Yep.
397
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,063
- Okay.
- On action, okay? Ready?
398
00:14:16,229 --> 00:14:18,065
Yep.
Grandpa, you watching?
399
00:14:18,231 --> 00:14:19,901
- And action.
- Yo.
400
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,144
What it is?
Adam Demamp here,
401
00:14:22,269 --> 00:14:26,240
here with Demamp Camp:
Working Out With Tires.
402
00:14:26,406 --> 00:14:28,075
As you saw earlier,
403
00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:29,518
I de-located both of my arms
404
00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:31,245
doing my classic dead tire flip lift.
405
00:14:31,411 --> 00:14:34,456
But I plan on doing the impossible
406
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:37,026
to prove to my grandfather
that I'm not a pussy.
407
00:14:37,151 --> 00:14:38,761
That's him right there,
although that has nothing to do
408
00:14:38,886 --> 00:14:39,962
with the video.
409
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,496
But I shall do it right now,
410
00:14:41,621 --> 00:14:44,366
1,000 times in a row,
starting right now.
411
00:14:44,491 --> 00:14:46,335
Okay. Are you getting this?
412
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:48,204
Grandpa, are you watching?
413
00:14:48,329 --> 00:14:49,438
[Screaming]
414
00:14:49,563 --> 00:14:50,973
[Crunch]
Oh!
415
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,267
- Oh, my back!
- Adam...
416
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:54,852
I ripped my back muscle in half!
417
00:14:55,018 --> 00:14:57,747
[Luau music playing]
418
00:14:57,872 --> 00:15:02,451
♪ ♪
419
00:15:02,576 --> 00:15:04,028
Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt.
420
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,785
Is it okay if I borrow
your dance partner, just for a second?
421
00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:08,032
Get over here.
422
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:09,158
I don't know what your endgame is,
423
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,726
but that old horny lady over there
424
00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:12,061
thinks you're a guy,
so unless you want her
425
00:15:12,186 --> 00:15:13,246
to find out otherwise,
426
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,696
you better answer some questions
427
00:15:14,821 --> 00:15:17,425
for my new documentary,
MTV True Life:
428
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,556
I'm a Russian lesbian hockey
player living in America,
429
00:15:19,681 --> 00:15:21,036
maybe legally.
430
00:15:21,161 --> 00:15:23,172
How about I just beat your ass?
431
00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:24,382
I don't fight girls.
432
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,675
[Thud]
Oh! No, please!
433
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,177
- [Groaning]
- Oh, yes!
434
00:15:28,343 --> 00:15:30,012
I love it when they fight over me.
435
00:15:30,178 --> 00:15:31,881
Fight, fight!
436
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,582
[Gasping]
437
00:15:33,707 --> 00:15:36,252
You're dancing with a woman.
438
00:15:36,377 --> 00:15:37,953
- [Laughing]
- Oh, and one...
439
00:15:38,078 --> 00:15:39,989
And two... And three!
440
00:15:40,114 --> 00:15:41,607
That's it.
We got a new winner.
441
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:43,025
We've got a winner!
442
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,278
She knocked you out like a bitch!
443
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,572
Russian whip-its.
444
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:48,823
Oh, dear.
445
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,032
It will blow the hair
446
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,409
right off your babushka.
447
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,730
- [Laughing]
- [Murmurs]
448
00:15:53,855 --> 00:15:56,080
We want to keep the hair on
his babushka today, thank you.
449
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,999
- Okay...
- Ha, ha, ha!
450
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:02,011
Hockey team...
hey, no!
451
00:16:02,136 --> 00:16:03,178
See what you...
452
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,713
- [groaning]
- Great. All right.
453
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,591
Do you need to go
to the restroom, or what?
454
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,250
- Yeah, I...
- He can't breathe.
455
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:10,052
[With accent] He can't breathe.
He can't breathe!
456
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,429
- [Groaning]
- CPR! Anybody?
457
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,055
- Blake...
- I got you, Grandpa.
458
00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:14,974
Uh, just, uh,
split the mustache, and...
459
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,325
- no, no, no!
- And kind of just...
460
00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:18,127
no! Mouth to neck.
461
00:16:18,252 --> 00:16:19,661
- Huh?
- Mouth, neck.
462
00:16:19,786 --> 00:16:20,862
You got to help me, Grandson.
463
00:16:20,987 --> 00:16:22,398
Oh, no, no.
[Chuckles]
464
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,865
Maybe this is just your time
to go, my old man.
465
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:25,192
I can't breathe.
466
00:16:25,358 --> 00:16:26,611
You got to help your old Grandpa.
467
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,104
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, fine, fine.
468
00:16:29,229 --> 00:16:31,073
Uh...[Chuckles]
Uh...
469
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:34,567
Eh... Uh...
Ugh...
470
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:38,039
[Coughs]
471
00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:39,481
- [Grunts]
- Oh! Oh!
472
00:16:39,606 --> 00:16:41,150
- I'm good.
- [Groaning]
473
00:16:41,275 --> 00:16:43,485
I got your... I got your
throat spluge on my mouth!
474
00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:45,129
Oh, my God!
475
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,673
That was a rush.
Do you wanna keep it going?
476
00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:49,842
[Gagging]
477
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,009
{pub}Just give me
the health insurance, please!
478
00:16:59,134 --> 00:17:00,310
[Sobbing]
479
00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:03,313
Just give me the health insurance!
480
00:17:03,438 --> 00:17:05,441
Please! I don't know what else to do.
481
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,618
[Sizzle]
Oh, Jesus!
482
00:17:07,743 --> 00:17:11,530
Oh, fuck, now I burned my hand.
483
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:13,741
[Muttering under breath]
484
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,626
Just made it in time.
485
00:17:15,751 --> 00:17:18,395
[Coughs, vomits]
486
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,122
George! Hey!
487
00:17:20,288 --> 00:17:21,598
It's time to go home.
488
00:17:21,723 --> 00:17:24,001
Oh, I don't think so, mark.
489
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,203
You took my pig away from me.
490
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:28,605
And I'm not talking
about this piece right here.
491
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:31,550
So sayonara.
492
00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:33,302
- [Vomiting]
- Yeah... no. No.
493
00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:36,713
Your Grandpa's a total dick.
494
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:37,932
Grandpa!
495
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,183
Come on.
496
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,785
All right, all right, all right.
497
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:42,603
- Keep them in the truck.
- Saved your life, man.
498
00:17:42,769 --> 00:17:44,855
- I saw George heading west.
- [Panting]
499
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,816
He's not gonna get far
on those artificial hips.
500
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,527
Tranq gun.
501
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,996
No. He's my Grandpa.
502
00:17:52,121 --> 00:17:54,448
I got this.
503
00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:58,411
[Groaning]
504
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,470
Oh! Oh, that hurt.
505
00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:01,956
Yeah. Okay.
506
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,275
- West is the other way.
- Okay.
507
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,677
Yeah. Ugh.
508
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:07,962
You hiding from me?
509
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,463
I'm a way better hiderer
510
00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,048
than you'll ever be.
511
00:18:11,214 --> 00:18:13,342
Oh, I found you.
512
00:18:13,508 --> 00:18:16,486
I... you... agh! Ow!
513
00:18:16,611 --> 00:18:18,055
Jeez.
514
00:18:18,221 --> 00:18:19,598
Get back here!
515
00:18:19,764 --> 00:18:21,125
- Ow.
- [Grunts]
516
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,185
- I'm gonna shoot you so hard!
- [Groans]
517
00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:24,428
Come on.
518
00:18:24,553 --> 00:18:26,831
Both: [Grunting and groaning]
519
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:28,774
Jeez, it's like Double Dare in here.
520
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,067
- [Grunts]
- [Screams]
521
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:33,112
Jesus, how many plants
does this... ugh.
522
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,054
What's happening?
523
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:35,948
You have a beautiful home. I love it.
[Screams]
524
00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,808
[Both grunting and panting]
525
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:40,144
Ow. Is this marble?
It's beautiful.
526
00:18:40,269 --> 00:18:42,163
Hey! You get back here!
527
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,714
[Indistinct chatter]
528
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:45,216
Get back here!
529
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:48,127
You get back here right now!
530
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,553
Get down!
531
00:18:49,836 --> 00:18:51,088
Get down!
532
00:18:51,254 --> 00:18:52,256
[Kids screaming]
533
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,225
Whoo! Whoooo!
534
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:57,094
[Heroic music]
535
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,596
♪ ♪
536
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,516
[Roars in slow motion]
537
00:19:02,682 --> 00:19:08,189
♪ ♪
538
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,539
Oh!
539
00:19:09,664 --> 00:19:12,193
- Agh.
- Man down.
540
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,361
[Grunting]
Sorry about that.
541
00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,614
Family stuff.
You guys have grandpas, right?
542
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,241
Grandpa? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
543
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:20,956
- [Murmurs]
- There was no other way.
544
00:19:21,081 --> 00:19:23,120
No, no, it's okay.
545
00:19:23,411 --> 00:19:25,389
I'm proud of you because...
546
00:19:25,514 --> 00:19:28,225
You proved yourself to be a real man.
547
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:30,336
[Chuckles]
Unlike me.
548
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,264
- What?
- I'm not a war hero.
549
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:36,833
I got a dishonorable discharge
because...
550
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:40,679
I shot myself in the leg
to avoid combat.
551
00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:43,891
And the only reason
I was so hard on you
552
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:47,520
was because I didn't want you
to end up like me.
553
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,114
I'm a loser.
554
00:19:50,239 --> 00:19:51,415
You're not a loser.
555
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:52,983
You are a Demamp.
556
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,819
It's not in our T.N.A.
557
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:59,189
I'm gonna put you
back on the health insurance.
558
00:19:59,314 --> 00:20:00,533
You know why?
559
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,892
Why?
560
00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:05,454
Because you learned
how to take a punch.
561
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:06,797
[Strains]
562
00:20:06,922 --> 00:20:08,665
Ow!
563
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,534
Fuck!
564
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,436
Welcome to Demamp Camp:
565
00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:13,837
Fully insured.
566
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,297
On this new edition,
567
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:17,133
I will be showing you
a brand-new exercise
568
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,976
that I just created
using my own brain
569
00:20:20,101 --> 00:20:21,378
and intelligence.
570
00:20:21,503 --> 00:20:23,305
It's called "the roof-fly-delt-pump".
571
00:20:23,471 --> 00:20:24,681
Basically, you get a running start,
572
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,350
pump your delts so hard that you come
573
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:30,520
to a nice, soft landing,
because you've just flown
574
00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:31,897
for a few seconds.
575
00:20:32,146 --> 00:20:33,607
Let's do this!
576
00:20:33,773 --> 00:20:35,024
- [Screams]
- Come on, here we go. Yeah!
577
00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:36,493
[Screams]
[Thud]
578
00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:37,987
Ohhh!
579
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,281
Oh! Adam!
580
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,532
Blake, we get it?
581
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:42,866
Dude, you don't have
to keep asking me
582
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,768
if we got... oh.
583
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:46,662
Actually, I ran out of batteries.
584
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,372
Ders, did you get it?
585
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,332
Yeah, did you get
the behind-the-scenes?
586
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:51,941
Yeah, I got it.
587
00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:53,243
MTV True Life:
588
00:20:53,368 --> 00:20:55,504
I'm trying to get on Tosh.0.
589
00:20:55,670 --> 00:20:57,506
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com