1
00:00:01,504 --> 00:00:03,581
[Screaming]
2
00:00:03,706 --> 00:00:07,319
And that is what we call
the hammer tire!
3
00:00:07,444 --> 00:00:09,988
The sledgehammer does not come
with your Demamp Camp:
4
00:00:10,113 --> 00:00:12,429
Working Out With Tires DVD purchase.
5
00:00:12,682 --> 00:00:14,247
Blake, you get that?
6
00:00:14,372 --> 00:00:16,934
God damn it, Adam. Yes.
We got it.
7
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,770
Hey, Blake,
don't talk to me like that.
8
00:00:18,989 --> 00:00:20,563
Ders, did we get that?
9
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,189
That argument for the
behind-the-scenes camera?
10
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,768
Oh, no, no, no, this camera's not
11
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:24,970
behind-the-scenes footage, okay?
12
00:00:25,095 --> 00:00:26,671
This is my MTV True Life:
13
00:00:26,796 --> 00:00:27,903
I'm in a Ménage A Braj.
14
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,183
Heh, heh, Ménage A Braj.
15
00:00:29,308 --> 00:00:30,558
- Let's focus, all right?
- All right, yep.
16
00:00:30,683 --> 00:00:32,377
We're missing some exercises here.
17
00:00:32,502 --> 00:00:33,742
- Let me check the list.
- Pffft.
18
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,328
We got the tire hammer.
We got tire jump.
19
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:37,320
- Tire wiggle.
- Yep.
20
00:00:37,445 --> 00:00:38,632
- Tire waggle.
- Got it.
21
00:00:38,757 --> 00:00:39,584
- The tire flip lift!
- Yes.
22
00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:41,310
- That's right.
- Good call, good call.
23
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:42,369
Blake, you getting this?
24
00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:44,256
Oh, I'm getting it, baby.
We got it.
25
00:00:45,281 --> 00:00:48,694
This next exercise,
your bis might turn into tris,
26
00:00:48,819 --> 00:00:52,264
while your tris might turn
into God knows what.
27
00:00:52,389 --> 00:00:53,822
Are you ready?
28
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,139
Yeah.
29
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,368
[Screaming]
30
00:00:56,493 --> 00:00:57,600
[Snap]
31
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,070
All: Oh!
32
00:00:59,195 --> 00:01:00,812
My shoulders!
[Screams]
33
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:01,937
We gotta get you to a hospital!
34
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,541
- Pop it back into place!
- No, no, no.
35
00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:04,943
- I'm gonna pop it back!
- No, don't...
36
00:01:05,068 --> 00:01:06,244
- [crunch]
- Ohhh!
37
00:01:06,369 --> 00:01:07,860
That made it so much worse!
38
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:15,493
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,159
- Let me out.
- I cannot believe
40
00:01:21,284 --> 00:01:22,627
they let you walk out of the E.R.
41
00:01:22,752 --> 00:01:23,895
looking this way.
42
00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:25,294
We gotta get you fixed.
43
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,932
Yeah, for 2,000 bucks?
Yeah, right.
44
00:01:27,057 --> 00:01:28,599
I'm saving up for hair plugs
for when I need them
45
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:30,268
- in the future.
- Well, what's the deal, man?
46
00:01:30,393 --> 00:01:31,636
I thought you had insurance.
47
00:01:31,761 --> 00:01:32,904
We laughed so much times at those
48
00:01:33,029 --> 00:01:34,845
- Geico Gecko commercials.
- Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,308
I guess my Grandpa must have
taken me off his plan,
50
00:01:36,433 --> 00:01:37,875
which is fine,
'cause I hate that man.
51
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,444
Don't wanna be on his stupid
insurance anyways.
52
00:01:39,569 --> 00:01:40,979
Could you let me out of here?
53
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,247
You can't live like this,
Adam, come on.
54
00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:45,523
You have to start the wave today
at Jillian's hockey game.
55
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,285
I can lead the wave.
I can...[Shrieks]
56
00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:48,954
Okay, that actually hurts a lot.
I'll do it next time.
57
00:01:49,079 --> 00:01:50,361
Doesn't matter.
Could you open the door?
58
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,756
All right, fine, it's settled.
59
00:01:51,881 --> 00:01:52,863
We're gonna go see Gramps Demamp.
60
00:01:53,149 --> 00:01:54,406
Yep. 'Cause you know what?
61
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:55,994
You're lucky you even have a grandpa.
62
00:01:56,119 --> 00:01:57,429
I never even met mine.
63
00:01:57,554 --> 00:01:58,696
I bet he was awesome.
I be he had crazy hair.
64
00:01:58,821 --> 00:01:59,965
Yeah, I bet he did.
65
00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:02,189
I mean, old people are really cool.
66
00:02:02,314 --> 00:02:03,876
They're like...
they're like the crypt keeper.
67
00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:04,833
They just tell you stories.
68
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,371
Yeah, or like young wizards.
69
00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:07,711
Fine. I'll tell you guys.
70
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,505
My grandfather touched me as a kid.
71
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,590
- In the butt hole.
- What?
72
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:12,677
Okay, he didn't actually touch me.
73
00:02:12,802 --> 00:02:13,911
He refused to hug me.
74
00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:15,313
I am not gonna go see my Grandpa!
75
00:02:15,438 --> 00:02:17,096
You let me out of this car right now.
76
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,616
No, we're taking you
to see him, all right?
77
00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,016
- Blake, map it. We're going.
- Got it.
78
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:23,476
Hi. Here to see George Demamp.
79
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:24,436
He's my grandfather.
80
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,355
If he's dead, I'm okay with that.
81
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,959
You act like you wouldn't
care, but you would.
82
00:02:28,084 --> 00:02:30,484
You would cry.
Sign in, please.
83
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,777
Whoa, check it out, guys.
84
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,065
This dude throws knives into cats.
85
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:36,991
That's a gun and a coyote.
You can tell from the snout.
86
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,037
- Oh.
- But yeah, this is my day job.
87
00:02:39,162 --> 00:02:40,995
My real passion is animal control.
88
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,274
My little line is,
"the animals in here
89
00:02:43,399 --> 00:02:45,543
are way worse
than the coyotes out there."
90
00:02:45,668 --> 00:02:47,783
[Laughs]
That's a good joke.
91
00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:48,878
- That's clever.
- That's funny.
92
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:49,962
- Thank you.
- It's not clever.
93
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,298
And it sure as hell
isn't a good joke.
94
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:55,008
The people that walk these halls
built this country, okay?
95
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,136
- It's my little line.
- All right.
96
00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:00,139
Which room is my dumb, stupid,
fat, ugly Grandpa in?
97
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,391
Gun one, gun two...
98
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,393
Hey, Grandpa!
99
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,228
Oh.
100
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,345
Well, well, well.
101
00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:11,132
Look who it is.
Short-wide.
102
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:12,484
Mm, good one.
103
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,005
You come out of the closet yet?
104
00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:16,696
[Forced laughter]
No.
105
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:19,317
Only closet I'm in is the one
that I'm trapped in.
106
00:03:19,442 --> 00:03:21,429
With R. Kelly, watching a rap opera.
107
00:03:21,554 --> 00:03:22,947
Ah, cut the crap.
I know why you're here.
108
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,683
You want to weasel
back onto my health insurance,
109
00:03:25,808 --> 00:03:27,249
you damn freeloader.
110
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,853
I'm not a freeloader, okay?
111
00:03:28,978 --> 00:03:30,488
It's just I can't afford
health insurance,
112
00:03:30,613 --> 00:03:32,190
and I expect it to be free.
113
00:03:32,315 --> 00:03:34,423
- I have to go to the hospital.
- Hospital?
114
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,462
Hospital didn't help me
when I rode a Jeep
115
00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:41,699
out of a B-52 at 35,000 feet...
116
00:03:41,824 --> 00:03:43,140
It was 25,000 last time.
117
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,687
35,000 feet,
118
00:03:45,812 --> 00:03:48,005
had to parachute
into enemy territory,
119
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:51,075
and took eight bullets up my ass.
120
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,149
Yeah.
121
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,478
But you don't know anything
about that
122
00:03:53,603 --> 00:03:55,194
because you've never been in a war!
123
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,981
Yeah, I've never been in a war
124
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,238
'cause there's never been
any big wars for me to serve in!
125
00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:01,408
Oh, jeez, you know,
I don't have time for this.
126
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,121
I've got my annual Luau,
127
00:04:03,246 --> 00:04:06,124
and I am in charge of the pig.
128
00:04:06,249 --> 00:04:08,832
And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Holly.
129
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,627
Aunt Holly has a glandular disorder.
130
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,531
Hey, could you hold that door?
131
00:04:13,656 --> 00:04:15,141
I actually can't open doors!
132
00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:18,008
[Door slams]
Ow! Ow!
133
00:04:19,262 --> 00:04:20,405
[Muffled]
I demand...
134
00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:21,872
[crunch, agonized screams]
135
00:04:21,997 --> 00:04:23,274
Why did you bring your flip cam?
136
00:04:23,399 --> 00:04:25,443
'Cause I'm changing the plan.
137
00:04:25,568 --> 00:04:26,944
It's gonna be MTV True Life:
138
00:04:27,069 --> 00:04:28,435
I'm into old people.
I don't care.
139
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,979
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check out this old Braj.
140
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,850
[Blues music]
141
00:04:32,975 --> 00:04:36,068
♪ On a big ol' shady oak tree ♪
142
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:39,064
[Laughing]
Oh, man. This dude is sick!
143
00:04:39,189 --> 00:04:41,156
I'm talking, like, terminally chill.
144
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,393
- [Singing]
- He is chill.
145
00:04:42,518 --> 00:04:43,861
I'm just gonna need a fresher angle
146
00:04:43,986 --> 00:04:45,807
than some aged rocker.
147
00:04:45,932 --> 00:04:48,166
I mean, W.W.K.L.D.?
148
00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:49,797
What would Kurt Loder do?
149
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:51,249
♪ Said I was born ♪
150
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:54,207
Old people have been around
since the dawn of time.
151
00:04:54,332 --> 00:04:56,644
They have stories and messages.
Here's one now.
152
00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:59,717
Hey, ma'am, can I ask you
a few ques...
153
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,593
we'll find a better one than that.
154
00:05:02,772 --> 00:05:04,805
Hey, nice shot.
155
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,139
I know.
156
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,516
Is it okay if I ask you
a couple questions?
157
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:08,600
Questions?
158
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,188
Just questions about your life.
159
00:05:10,313 --> 00:05:12,790
You know, I feel like people
of your generation
160
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,692
have such wisdom that you can share.
161
00:05:14,817 --> 00:05:17,977
Why don't you tell me
about what you did
162
00:05:18,102 --> 00:05:19,820
before you lived here?
163
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,571
I traveled to the world's
best cities,
164
00:05:21,737 --> 00:05:23,535
and in exchange,
165
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,034
I married a rich man I didn't love.
166
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,245
- Yeah.
- But enough about me.
167
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,322
- Shoot.
- I-I don't know how to play.
168
00:05:31,447 --> 00:05:33,869
My dad never let me in the
billiards room growing up, so...
169
00:05:33,994 --> 00:05:35,320
Oh, that's heartbreaking.
170
00:05:35,445 --> 00:05:37,081
Maybe I can help you.
171
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,316
Ow.
172
00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:40,496
All right, I'll start low?
173
00:05:40,621 --> 00:05:42,217
Now, before you shoot...
174
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,954
[Whispers]
Close your eyes,
175
00:05:44,079 --> 00:05:46,180
and put it in.
176
00:05:47,251 --> 00:05:48,826
Is everything okay in here?
177
00:05:48,951 --> 00:05:50,600
It's fine, Mark.
Just fine.
178
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,864
Why don't we go somewhere
where we can be
179
00:05:53,989 --> 00:05:55,272
a little more private?
180
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,024
All right.
181
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,171
♪ She don't want me no more ♪
182
00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:02,340
Whoo!
[Laughs]
183
00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:03,941
Yeah!
That was awesome, man!
184
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,402
Where'd you learn
how to play like that?
185
00:06:06,527 --> 00:06:08,312
I roadied for ZZ Top.
186
00:06:08,437 --> 00:06:11,747
Plus I started taking
guitar lessons last year.
187
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,350
I love ZZ Top.
188
00:06:13,475 --> 00:06:14,916
They're like the champagne
of beer-drinking music.
189
00:06:15,082 --> 00:06:17,878
Brother, I could tell you
some stories.
190
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,838
I would love to hear those.
[Lighter sparks]
191
00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,216
Oh, my gosh.
What are you...
192
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,383
what are you doing?
193
00:06:23,686 --> 00:06:26,095
I... you got a cigarette in your neck.
194
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,553
Hey, you can't smoke in here.
195
00:06:28,678 --> 00:06:29,723
He can't smoke in here.
196
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,256
And he knows that, because we've
been through this, Arthur.
197
00:06:32,381 --> 00:06:33,185
Haven't we?
198
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,189
I don't get to have
any fun in this dump.
199
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,544
They took away my cigarettes.
200
00:06:39,669 --> 00:06:41,484
They took away my booze.
201
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:44,405
I can't even steal any pills anymore.
202
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,151
I mean, what is wrong
with young people today, huh?
203
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,887
They need to respect their elders'...
204
00:06:50,012 --> 00:06:53,205
desire to do as many drugs
as they want.
205
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,208
You seem to me to be
a pretty righteous hombre.
206
00:06:57,587 --> 00:06:59,837
I wish you were my grandpa.
207
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,031
I tell you what.
208
00:07:01,156 --> 00:07:03,300
You run some interference for me,
209
00:07:03,425 --> 00:07:05,133
help me score some pills,
210
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,762
you can call me
anything you want, son.
211
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:11,241
I know that I haven't been
in, like, a war war.
212
00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:14,517
But last spring, I got
in a fight at a dodgers game,
213
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:15,880
and yeah, he beat me up pretty good.
214
00:07:16,005 --> 00:07:17,548
It was a very, very violent
Mexican man.
215
00:07:17,673 --> 00:07:18,981
But I got the first laugh.
216
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,816
But you're too fat to fight.
217
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,609
Go home, short-wide.
218
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,054
I got a pig to carve.
219
00:07:24,179 --> 00:07:26,196
And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Silvia.
220
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:29,575
Stop it! You stop!
221
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,095
Ow!
222
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,397
Ow.
223
00:07:33,522 --> 00:07:34,663
I am not a pussy.
224
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,582
And I'm gonna prove it to you.
225
00:07:45,828 --> 00:07:48,840
{pub}I'm gonna launch off this roof
at 7 miles per hour
226
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:50,687
like a war helicopter.
227
00:07:50,812 --> 00:07:53,056
Then I'm gonna deploy this bed sheet
228
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,792
as my parachute...
229
00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:59,187
And gently drop down to safety.
230
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,481
You're gonna die.
231
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,433
So would your girlfriend
be mad if she knew
232
00:08:03,558 --> 00:08:05,902
you were all alone
in another woman's room?
233
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,337
No, I don't even have a girlf...
234
00:08:07,462 --> 00:08:08,971
I'm between girlfriends right now.
235
00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:11,491
Models is what I'm usually dating,
236
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:14,277
but no, this is
strictly journalistic, so...
237
00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:17,372
well, come and get your scoop.
238
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,082
I know what you're doing,
239
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,751
but your husband's
sleeping right there.
240
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,169
Oh, honey, my husband's
been sleeping there
241
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,963
for the last six years.
242
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,797
[Soft music playing]
Drop your pants,
243
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,842
and I'll tell you everything
you want.
244
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,427
All right, I just...
245
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,221
I really want to be on MTV True Life.
246
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,097
Have you seen it?
247
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,892
It's pretty good.
248
00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:38,965
Oh, not so fast, Bronco.
249
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:40,604
- Ow.
- I may not be old,
250
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,038
but I am old-fashioned.
251
00:08:42,163 --> 00:08:46,276
So, uh, dance for me first.
252
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:51,573
♪ ♪
253
00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:53,814
Right? And then a little bit of this.
254
00:08:53,939 --> 00:08:54,726
It's not the butterfly.
255
00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:56,870
It's the tootsie roll.
Know what I mean?
256
00:09:06,855 --> 00:09:09,216
[Clears throat loudly]
257
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,176
Nice day.
258
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,149
- Uh-huh.
- What kind of enchiladas
259
00:09:13,274 --> 00:09:15,071
were those, huh?
Road kill?
260
00:09:15,196 --> 00:09:16,932
Mm-hmm.
261
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,050
Wouldn't mind if we had
some smooth pudding
262
00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:20,769
every once in a while.
263
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,063
Oh! Oh!
264
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,347
I'm coming, sir.
265
00:09:24,472 --> 00:09:26,115
- Oh, bacon bits!
- Okay.
266
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,250
Oh, just the tip of my hip...
267
00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:28,844
no, no need to touch, really!
268
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,786
No, it's fine.
269
00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:32,030
You got witch hands.
270
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:34,616
- No.
- You got witch hands, okay?
271
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,225
Oh, so tell me about the '60s.
272
00:09:36,350 --> 00:09:38,829
Did you march, and for what side?
273
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,665
What happened?
Did somebody hit the emergency...
274
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,834
Peggy, Jesus Christ.
Not again.
275
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,393
Again?
276
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,839
[Laughing]
Nice, I think we got 'em, man.
277
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,575
Hey! You are not two old men.
278
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,903
You are an old man, but you are not.
279
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,350
And in conclusion,
280
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,452
as the civil rights activist
281
00:10:02,577 --> 00:10:05,488
Dr. Martens Luther King once said,
282
00:10:05,613 --> 00:10:08,658
take yee sleazy.
283
00:10:08,783 --> 00:10:10,293
And I'm out.
284
00:10:10,418 --> 00:10:13,463
[Cart whirring]
285
00:10:13,588 --> 00:10:16,324
[Screaming]
286
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,743
Ow, my shoulders!
287
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,161
Oh, God!
288
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,261
Oh, God!
289
00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:25,749
Damn it.
290
00:10:26,311 --> 00:10:27,359
Okay, you three, guess what.
291
00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:30,838
Go to your rooms,
and say aloha to the Luau.
292
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:33,717
But make it the good-bye aloha,
'cause you're not going.
293
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,268
Get. And you three,
get the hell out of here.
294
00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:37,471
Don't film me.
295
00:10:37,695 --> 00:10:39,765
Don't film me anymore.
296
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,433
This is all your fault.
297
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,269
- Blake.
- See ya, Grandpa.
298
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:45,945
- This sucks.
- [Groaning]
299
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,680
I finally get a grandpa
worth keeping and loving,
300
00:10:47,805 --> 00:10:49,281
and his beard slips
right through my fingers.
301
00:10:49,406 --> 00:10:51,411
Yeah, and I might as well
call my true life
302
00:10:51,536 --> 00:10:53,249
MTV True Life: I can't make
an MTV True Life
303
00:10:53,374 --> 00:10:54,029
to save my life.
304
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,698
- This isn't over. Mm-mm.
- No, it's not.
305
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:58,491
You still need insurance
from your Gramps.
306
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,027
I need to prove to that
old turd that I'm a real Demamp.
307
00:11:01,152 --> 00:11:02,695
I'm gonna steal
his wrinkly ass out of here,
308
00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:04,164
and then I'm gonna take him
to the yard,
309
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,624
and the yard is our house,
310
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,299
and I'm gonna bark at him
like a big dog,
311
00:11:07,424 --> 00:11:08,835
'cause I'm a big dog,
and I'm ready to...
312
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,254
[Howling]
Howwwl!
313
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,839
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know, man.
314
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,373
I'm in a lot of pain right now.
315
00:11:14,498 --> 00:11:15,717
I think I might die.
316
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,310
Lady and old dudes,
317
00:11:18,435 --> 00:11:21,881
welcome to the inautical
our Luau for old people party.
318
00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:23,058
Hey, what's up?
319
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,601
[Whistles]
320
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,318
- Jillian!
- Hey!
321
00:11:26,443 --> 00:11:28,721
- Where's the Luau stuff?
- What is this?
322
00:11:28,846 --> 00:11:29,922
I don't know.
It's a Luau.
323
00:11:30,047 --> 00:11:31,984
It's a different kind of Luau.
324
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,361
Luau? Blake texted me Lou Albano.
325
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,697
- What?
- I thought he meant, like,
326
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,554
"Captain Lou" Albano,
the wrestling manager
327
00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:40,241
and Cindy Lauper's dad.
328
00:11:40,407 --> 00:11:42,068
Ohhh, yeah, psh.
Look at that.
329
00:11:42,193 --> 00:11:46,581
Phone must've auto-corrected
Luau to Lou Albano.
330
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,959
Wow, that's insane.
331
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,128
How often are you texting
the words "Lou Albano"?
332
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,611
I don't know.
333
00:11:52,736 --> 00:11:54,465
Like, four to five times a week.
334
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,849
But what's up with all the cool, uh,
335
00:11:56,974 --> 00:11:58,760
hip, happening chicks, Jillian?
336
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,220
Oh, this is my hockey team.
337
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,013
We were gonna go to the bar
338
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,455
after our big win,
but this seemed like more fun.
339
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,258
Yeah, bunch of crazy Russian bitches.
340
00:12:06,383 --> 00:12:07,626
[Laughs]
No, they're dolls.
341
00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,295
They're sweet girls.
342
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,597
- Oh, I bet.
- What's up, babies?
343
00:12:11,722 --> 00:12:13,766
You know the mouth of the South
ain't gonna miss
344
00:12:13,891 --> 00:12:16,987
a "Captain Lou" Albano party
with hockey chicks!
345
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,113
[Cheers and laughter]
346
00:12:18,629 --> 00:12:19,907
Slash-Luau.
347
00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:22,241
It's me.
Uh, it's Karl.
348
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,244
I'm dressed as Jimmy Hart.
349
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:38,032
{pub}So how does our Luau compare
to your old folks' Luau?
350
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,702
I like this one a lot better.
351
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,270
Thank you.
We worked kind of...
352
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,222
Oh, I see what you're...
353
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:47,041
God, you're...
hey! Here's the deal.
354
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,810
I'll let you have a dance, one song,
355
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,812
but then you gotta answer
one of my questions.
356
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,563
- Sure thing, babe.
- All right.
357
00:12:52,729 --> 00:12:55,116
Have a good...
358
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,277
have a good time.
359
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,588
[Russian pop music playing]
360
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:02,782
Ahh.
[Chuckles]
361
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,092
- Now, this is my kinda party.
- Yeah.
362
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,577
What's going on here?
363
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:06,828
Russian drinking game.
364
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,597
No pussy men allowed.
365
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,208
Whoa, okay,
USA all the way, all right?
366
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:14,148
I bet 20 bucks my Gramps here
could drink y'all
367
00:13:14,273 --> 00:13:16,838
Dolph Lundgrenettes under the table.
368
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,924
- Let's go.
- All right.
369
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,175
Show 'em who's boss.
370
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:22,385
- [Chuckling]
- Mm-hmm.
371
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:26,431
♪ ♪
372
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,749
- Whoo!
- Ahh.
373
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,267
- Yeah!
- Lina.
374
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,352
- We need more vodka.
- Why?
375
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:34,731
We got plenty of good alcohol
right here.
376
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,733
Oh, no, that's hand sanitizer.
377
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,593
That's not...
378
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:42,531
[gulping]
379
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,666
Ah.
380
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:45,950
Want some?
381
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,468
He beat me.
382
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,071
Straight up.
Pay him.
383
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:51,289
Pay this man his money.
384
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,941
Whoo!
[Laughs]
385
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,543
Anybody got any hard drugs?
386
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,836
[Laughs awkwardly]
USA.
387
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,630
Uh-oh.
388
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,423
Grandpa.
He's just taking a nap.
389
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:01,716
Grandpa...
390
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,251
Whoo!
391
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,678
Anybody got any hard drugs?
392
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,806
[Grunting]
393
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,842
Grandpa, I know you think
I pussed out earlier,
394
00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:11,180
but I'm gonna prove to you
once and for all
395
00:14:11,305 --> 00:14:12,728
I'm a real Demamp, starting now.
396
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,342
- Jillian, you ready?
- Yep.
397
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,023
- Okay.
- On action, okay? Ready?
398
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,024
Yep.
Grandpa, you watching?
399
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,859
- And action.
- Yo.
400
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,103
What it is?
Adam Demamp here,
401
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:26,199
here with Demamp Camp:
Working Out With Tires.
402
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,076
As you saw earlier,
403
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,477
I de-located both of my arms
404
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,204
doing my classic dead tire flip lift.
405
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,415
But I plan on doing the impossible
406
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,985
to prove to my grandfather
that I'm not a pussy.
407
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,720
That's him right there,
although that has nothing to do
408
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:39,921
with the video.
409
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,455
But I shall do it right now,
410
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:44,325
1,000 times in a row,
starting right now.
411
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,294
Okay. Are you getting this?
412
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,163
Grandpa, are you watching?
413
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,397
[Screaming]
414
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,932
[Crunch]
Oh!
415
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,226
- Oh, my back!
- Adam...
416
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,811
I ripped my back muscle in half!
417
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,706
[Luau music playing]
418
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:02,410
♪ ♪
419
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,987
Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt.
420
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,744
Is it okay if I borrow
your dance partner, just for a second?
421
00:15:06,869 --> 00:15:07,991
Get over here.
422
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,117
I don't know what your endgame is,
423
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,685
but that old horny lady over there
424
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,020
thinks you're a guy,
so unless you want her
425
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,205
to find out otherwise,
426
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,655
you better answer some questions
427
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,384
for my new documentary,
MTV True Life:
428
00:15:17,509 --> 00:15:19,515
I'm a Russian lesbian hockey
player living in America,
429
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,995
maybe legally.
430
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,131
How about I just beat your ass?
431
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,341
I don't fight girls.
432
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,634
[Thud]
Oh! No, please!
433
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,135
- [Groaning]
- Oh, yes!
434
00:15:28,301 --> 00:15:29,971
I love it when they fight over me.
435
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,840
Fight, fight!
436
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,541
[Gasping]
437
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,211
You're dancing with a woman.
438
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,912
- [Laughing]
- Oh, and one...
439
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,948
And two... And three!
440
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,566
That's it.
We got a new winner.
441
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,984
We've got a winner!
442
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,236
She knocked you out like a bitch!
443
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,531
Russian whip-its.
444
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:48,781
Oh, dear.
445
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:49,991
It will blow the hair
446
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,368
right off your babushka.
447
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,689
- [Laughing]
- [Murmurs]
448
00:15:53,814 --> 00:15:56,039
We want to keep the hair on
his babushka today, thank you.
449
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,958
- Okay...
- Ha, ha, ha!
450
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,970
Hockey team...
hey, no!
451
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,137
See what you...
452
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,672
- [groaning]
- Great. All right.
453
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,550
Do you need to go
to the restroom, or what?
454
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,209
- Yeah, I...
- He can't breathe.
455
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,011
[With accent] He can't breathe.
He can't breathe!
456
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,388
- [Groaning]
- CPR! Anybody?
457
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,014
- Blake...
- I got you, Grandpa.
458
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,932
Uh, just, uh,
split the mustache, and...
459
00:16:15,098 --> 00:16:16,284
- no, no, no!
- And kind of just...
460
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,086
no! Mouth to neck.
461
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,620
- Huh?
- Mouth, neck.
462
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:20,821
You got to help me, Grandson.
463
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,357
Oh, no, no.
[Chuckles]
464
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,824
Maybe this is just your time
to go, my old man.
465
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,151
I can't breathe.
466
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,570
You got to help your old Grandpa.
467
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:29,063
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, fine, fine.
468
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:31,032
Uh...[Chuckles]
Uh...
469
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,526
Eh... Uh...
Ugh...
470
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:37,998
[Coughs]
471
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:39,440
- [Grunts]
- Oh! Oh!
472
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,109
- I'm good.
- [Groaning]
473
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,444
I got your... I got your
throat spluge on my mouth!
474
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,088
Oh, my God!
475
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,632
That was a rush.
Do you wanna keep it going?
476
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,801
[Gagging]
477
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,010
{pub}Just give me
the health insurance, please!
478
00:16:59,135 --> 00:17:00,311
[Sobbing]
479
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,314
Just give me the health insurance!
480
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,442
Please! I don't know what else to do.
481
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,619
[Sizzle]
Oh, Jesus!
482
00:17:07,744 --> 00:17:11,531
Oh, fuck, now I burned my hand.
483
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,742
[Muttering under breath]
484
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,627
Just made it in time.
485
00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:18,396
[Coughs, vomits]
486
00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:20,122
George! Hey!
487
00:17:20,288 --> 00:17:21,599
It's time to go home.
488
00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:24,002
Oh, I don't think so, mark.
489
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,204
You took my pig away from me.
490
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,606
And I'm not talking
about this piece right here.
491
00:17:28,731 --> 00:17:31,550
So sayonara.
492
00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:33,303
- [Vomiting]
- Yeah... no. No.
493
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,714
Your Grandpa's a total dick.
494
00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:37,932
Grandpa!
495
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,184
Come on.
496
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,786
All right, all right, all right.
497
00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:42,604
- Keep them in the truck.
- Saved your life, man.
498
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,856
- I saw George heading west.
- [Panting]
499
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,816
He's not gonna get far
on those artificial hips.
500
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,528
Tranq gun.
501
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,997
No. He's my Grandpa.
502
00:17:52,122 --> 00:17:54,449
I got this.
503
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:58,411
[Groaning]
504
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,471
Oh! Oh, that hurt.
505
00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:01,956
Yeah. Okay.
506
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,276
- West is the other way.
- Okay.
507
00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:06,678
Yeah. Ugh.
508
00:18:06,803 --> 00:18:07,962
You hiding from me?
509
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,463
I'm a way better hiderer
510
00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:11,049
than you'll ever be.
511
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,343
Oh, I found you.
512
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:16,487
I... you... agh! Ow!
513
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:18,056
Jeez.
514
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,598
Get back here!
515
00:18:19,764 --> 00:18:21,126
- Ow.
- [Grunts]
516
00:18:21,251 --> 00:18:23,186
- I'm gonna shoot you so hard!
- [Groans]
517
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,429
Come on.
518
00:18:24,554 --> 00:18:26,832
Both: [Grunting and groaning]
519
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,775
Jeez, it's like Double Dare in here.
520
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,068
- [Grunts]
- [Screams]
521
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:33,113
Jesus, how many plants
does this... ugh.
522
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,055
What's happening?
523
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,948
You have a beautiful home. I love it.
[Screams]
524
00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,809
[Both grunting and panting]
525
00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:40,145
Ow. Is this marble?
It's beautiful.
526
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:42,163
Hey! You get back here!
527
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,715
[Indistinct chatter]
528
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,217
Get back here!
529
00:18:45,342 --> 00:18:48,127
You get back here right now!
530
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,554
Get down!
531
00:18:49,836 --> 00:18:51,089
Get down!
532
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,256
[Kids screaming]
533
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,226
Whoo! Whoooo!
534
00:18:54,351 --> 00:18:57,095
[Heroic music]
535
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,597
♪ ♪
536
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,517
[Roars in slow motion]
537
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:08,189
♪ ♪
538
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,540
Oh!
539
00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:12,193
- Agh.
- Man down.
540
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,361
[Grunting]
Sorry about that.
541
00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,614
Family stuff.
You guys have grandpas, right?
542
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,242
Grandpa? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
543
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,957
- [Murmurs]
- There was no other way.
544
00:19:21,082 --> 00:19:23,121
No, no, it's okay.
545
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,390
I'm proud of you because...
546
00:19:25,515 --> 00:19:28,226
You proved yourself to be a real man.
547
00:19:28,351 --> 00:19:30,336
[Chuckles]
Unlike me.
548
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,265
- What?
- I'm not a war hero.
549
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:36,834
I got a dishonorable discharge
because...
550
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:40,680
I shot myself in the leg
to avoid combat.
551
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,892
And the only reason
I was so hard on you
552
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:47,520
was because I didn't want you
to end up like me.
553
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,115
I'm a loser.
554
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,416
You're not a loser.
555
00:19:51,541 --> 00:19:52,984
You are a Demamp.
556
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,819
It's not in our T.N.A.
557
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:59,190
I'm gonna put you
back on the health insurance.
558
00:19:59,315 --> 00:20:00,533
You know why?
559
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,893
Why?
560
00:20:02,018 --> 00:20:05,454
Because you learned
how to take a punch.
561
00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:06,798
[Strains]
562
00:20:06,923 --> 00:20:08,666
Ow!
563
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,535
Fuck!
564
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,437
Welcome to Demamp Camp:
565
00:20:12,562 --> 00:20:13,838
Fully insured.
566
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,298
On this new edition,
567
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,133
I will be showing you
a brand-new exercise
568
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,977
that I just created
using my own brain
569
00:20:20,102 --> 00:20:21,379
and intelligence.
570
00:20:21,504 --> 00:20:23,306
It's called "the roof-fly-delt-pump".
571
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,682
Basically, you get a running start,
572
00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,350
pump your delts so hard that you come
573
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:30,521
to a nice, soft landing,
because you've just flown
574
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,897
for a few seconds.
575
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:33,608
Let's do this!
576
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,025
- [Screams]
- Come on, here we go. Yeah!
577
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,494
[Screams]
[Thud]
578
00:20:36,619 --> 00:20:37,987
Ohhh!
579
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,281
Oh! Adam!
580
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,533
Blake, we get it?
581
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:42,867
Dude, you don't have
to keep asking me
582
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,769
if we got... oh.
583
00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:46,662
Actually, I ran out of batteries.
584
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,373
Ders, did you get it?
585
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,332
Yeah, did you get
the behind-the-scenes?
586
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:51,942
Yeah, I got it.
587
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:53,244
MTV True Life:
588
00:20:53,369 --> 00:20:55,505
I'm trying to get on Tosh.0.
589
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,507
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com