﻿1
00:00:04,766 --> 00:00:08,191
And that is what we call
the hammer tire!

2
00:00:08,552 --> 00:00:10,940
The sledgehammer does not come
with your <i>Demamp Camp:</i>

3
00:00:10,959 --> 00:00:13,718
<i>Working Out With Tires</i> DVD purchase.

4
00:00:14,058 --> 00:00:15,232
Blake, you get that?

5
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,812
God damn it, Adam. Yes.
We got it.

6
00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:20,182
Hey, Blake,
don't talk to me like that.

7
00:00:20,238 --> 00:00:21,457
Ders, did we get that?

8
00:00:21,483 --> 00:00:23,336
That argument for the
behind-the-scenes camera?

9
00:00:23,348 --> 00:00:25,896
Oh, no, no, no, this camera's not
behind-the-scenes footage, okay?

10
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,496
This is my MTV <i>True Life:</i>

11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,884
I'm in a <i>Ménage A Braj.</i>

12
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,124
Heh, heh, <i>Ménage A Braj.</i>

13
00:00:30,143 --> 00:00:31,581
- Let's focus, all right?
- All right, yep.

14
00:00:31,594 --> 00:00:33,288
We're missing some exercises here.

15
00:00:33,496 --> 00:00:34,992
- Let me check the list.
- Pffft.

16
00:00:35,016 --> 00:00:37,519
We got the tire hammer.
We got tire jump.

17
00:00:37,531 --> 00:00:38,538
- Tire wiggle.
- Yep.

18
00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:39,627
- Tire waggle.
- Got it.

19
00:00:39,645 --> 00:00:40,783
- The tire flip lift!
- Yes.

20
00:00:40,817 --> 00:00:42,418
- That's right.
- Good call, good call.

21
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:43,230
Blake, you getting this?

22
00:00:43,236 --> 00:00:45,131
Oh, I'm getting it, baby.
We got it.

23
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:49,690
This next exercise,
your bis might turn into tris,

24
00:00:49,808 --> 00:00:53,351
while your tris might turn
into God knows what.

25
00:00:53,534 --> 00:00:54,967
Are you ready?

26
00:00:55,115 --> 00:00:56,158
Yeah.

27
00:00:58,574 --> 00:01:00,021
Oh!

28
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:01,824
My shoulders!

29
00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:02,935
We gotta get you to a hospital!

30
00:01:02,972 --> 00:01:04,410
- Pop it back into place!
- No, no, no.

31
00:01:04,448 --> 00:01:06,027
- I'm gonna pop it back!
- No, don't...

32
00:01:06,058 --> 00:01:07,234
Ohhh!

33
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,956
That made it so much worse!

34
00:01:12,178 --> 00:01:16,600
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>
Resync for DEMAND by antibio

35
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,640
- Let me out.
- I cannot believe

36
00:01:22,652 --> 00:01:25,132
they let you walk out of
the E.R. looking this way.

37
00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:26,176
We gotta get you fixed.

38
00:01:26,182 --> 00:01:28,417
Yeah, for 2,000 bucks?
Yeah, right.

39
00:01:28,423 --> 00:01:30,068
I'm saving up for hair plugs
for when I need them

40
00:01:30,092 --> 00:01:31,606
- in the future.
- Well, what's the deal, man?

41
00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:32,619
I thought you had insurance.

42
00:01:32,644 --> 00:01:34,259
We laughed so much times at those

43
00:01:34,277 --> 00:01:35,818
- Geico Gecko commercials.
- Mm-hmm.

44
00:01:35,836 --> 00:01:37,767
I guess my Grandpa must have
taken me off his plan,

45
00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:39,014
which is fine,
'cause I hate that man.

46
00:01:39,045 --> 00:01:40,567
Don't wanna be on his stupid
insurance anyways.

47
00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:41,833
Could you let me out of here?

48
00:01:41,857 --> 00:01:43,566
You can't live like this,
Adam, come on.

49
00:01:43,585 --> 00:01:46,333
You have to start the wave today
at Jillian's hockey game.

50
00:01:46,364 --> 00:01:48,281
- I can lead the wave.
- I can...

51
00:01:48,305 --> 00:01:50,228
Okay, that actually hurts a lot.
I'll do it next time.

52
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,639
Doesn't matter.
Could you open the door?

53
00:01:51,672 --> 00:01:52,639
All right, fine, it's settled.

54
00:01:52,657 --> 00:01:54,136
We're gonna go see Gramps Demamp.

55
00:01:54,195 --> 00:01:55,359
Yep. 'Cause you know what?

56
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,154
You're lucky you even have a grandpa.

57
00:01:57,227 --> 00:01:58,634
I never even met mine.

58
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,676
I bet he was awesome.
I be he had crazy hair.

59
00:02:00,695 --> 00:02:01,595
Yeah, I bet he did.

60
00:02:01,626 --> 00:02:03,148
I mean, old people are really cool.

61
00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:04,880
They're like...
they're like the crypt keeper.

62
00:02:04,905 --> 00:02:07,497
- They just tell you stories.
- Yeah, or like young wizards.

63
00:02:07,529 --> 00:02:08,962
Fine. I'll tell you guys.

64
00:02:09,097 --> 00:02:10,724
My grandfather touched me as a kid.

65
00:02:10,815 --> 00:02:12,511
- In the butt hole.
- What?

66
00:02:12,529 --> 00:02:14,821
Okay, he didn't actually touch me.
He refused to hug me.

67
00:02:14,839 --> 00:02:16,246
I am not gonna go see my Grandpa!

68
00:02:16,276 --> 00:02:17,712
You let me out of this car right now.

69
00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:19,079
No, we're taking you
to see him, all right?

70
00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:21,167
- Blake, map it. We're going.
- Got it.

71
00:02:21,789 --> 00:02:24,472
Hi. Here to see George Demamp.

72
00:02:24,534 --> 00:02:25,782
He's my grandfather.

73
00:02:25,935 --> 00:02:27,418
If he's dead, I'm okay with that.

74
00:02:27,484 --> 00:02:29,413
You act like you wouldn't
care, but you would.

75
00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,611
You would cry.
Sign in, please.

76
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,602
Whoa, check it out, guys.

77
00:02:33,702 --> 00:02:35,381
This dude throws knives into cats.

78
00:02:35,404 --> 00:02:38,204
That's a gun and a coyote.
You can tell from the snout.

79
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,247
- Oh.
- But yeah, this is my day job.

80
00:02:40,272 --> 00:02:42,291
My real passion is animal control.

81
00:02:42,581 --> 00:02:44,730
My little line is,
"the animals in here

82
00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:46,738
are way worse
than the coyotes out there."

83
00:02:47,576 --> 00:02:48,884
That's a good joke.

84
00:02:48,897 --> 00:02:50,002
- That's clever.
- That's funny.

85
00:02:50,032 --> 00:02:51,416
- Thank you.
- It's not clever.

86
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:53,199
And it sure as hell
isn't a good joke.

87
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:56,402
The people that walk these halls
built this country, okay?

88
00:02:56,615 --> 00:02:58,094
- It's my little line.
- All right.

89
00:02:58,158 --> 00:03:01,189
Which room is my dumb, stupid,
fat, ugly Grandpa in?

90
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,725
Gun one, gun two...

91
00:03:03,749 --> 00:03:05,896
Hey, Grandpa!

92
00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:07,705
Oh.

93
00:03:08,202 --> 00:03:09,375
Well, well, well.

94
00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:12,117
Look who it is.
Short-wide.

95
00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:13,573
Mm, good one.

96
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,208
You come out of the closet yet?

97
00:03:17,283 --> 00:03:18,109
No.

98
00:03:18,127 --> 00:03:20,352
Only closet I'm in is the one
that I'm trapped in.

99
00:03:20,419 --> 00:03:22,582
With R. Kelly, watching a rap opera.

100
00:03:22,613 --> 00:03:24,313
Ah, cut the crap.
I know why you're here.

101
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,086
You want to weasel
back onto my health insurance,

102
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,472
you damn freeloader.

103
00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:30,366
I'm not a freeloader, okay?

104
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:33,720
It's just I can't afford health insurance,
and I expect it to be free.

105
00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:36,031
- I have to go to the hospital.
- Hospital?

106
00:03:36,277 --> 00:03:38,867
Hospital didn't help me
when I rode a Jeep

107
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:43,076
out of a B-52 at 35,000 feet...

108
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,699
- It was 25,000 last time.
- 35,000 feet,

109
00:03:46,776 --> 00:03:49,813
had to parachute
into enemy territory,

110
00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:52,086
and took eight bullets up my ass.

111
00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:52,768
Yeah.

112
00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:56,219
But you don't know anything about that
because you've never been in a war!

113
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,723
Yeah, I've never been in a war

114
00:03:57,748 --> 00:04:00,189
'cause there's never been
any big wars for me to serve in!

115
00:04:00,214 --> 00:04:02,514
Oh, jeez, you know,
I don't have time for this.

116
00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:04,432
I've got my annual Luau,

117
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:07,360
and I am in charge of the pig.

118
00:04:07,575 --> 00:04:10,158
And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Holly.

119
00:04:10,568 --> 00:04:12,982
Aunt Holly has a glandular disorder.

120
00:04:13,143 --> 00:04:14,519
Hey, could you hold that door?

121
00:04:14,544 --> 00:04:16,071
I actually can't open doors!

122
00:04:16,099 --> 00:04:19,069
Ow! Ow!

123
00:04:20,858 --> 00:04:22,001
I demand...

124
00:04:23,486 --> 00:04:25,169
Why did you bring your flip cam?

125
00:04:25,226 --> 00:04:26,645
'Cause I'm changing the plan.

126
00:04:26,675 --> 00:04:27,895
It's gonna be MTV <i>True Life:</i>

127
00:04:27,915 --> 00:04:29,798
I'm into old people.
I don't care.

128
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,214
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check out this old Braj.

129
00:04:33,762 --> 00:04:37,104
♪ On a big ol' shady oak tree ♪

130
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:40,028
Oh, man. This dude is sick!

131
00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:42,341
I'm talking, like, terminally chill.

132
00:04:42,378 --> 00:04:43,451
He is chill.

133
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:46,789
I'm just gonna need a fresher angle
than some aged rocker.

134
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:49,269
I mean, W.W.K.L.D.?

135
00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:50,874
What would Kurt Loder do?

136
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,547
♪ Said I was born ♪

137
00:04:52,722 --> 00:04:55,246
Old people have been around
since the dawn of time.

138
00:04:55,309 --> 00:04:57,675
They have stories and messages.
Here's one now.

139
00:04:57,746 --> 00:05:00,693
Hey, ma'am, can I ask you
a few ques...

140
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:02,720
we'll find a better one than that.

141
00:05:04,861 --> 00:05:06,079
Hey, nice shot.

142
00:05:06,171 --> 00:05:07,134
I know.

143
00:05:07,159 --> 00:05:08,787
Is it okay if I ask you
a couple questions?

144
00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:09,745
Questions?

145
00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,271
Just questions about your life.

146
00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:14,195
You know, I feel like people
of your generation

147
00:05:14,545 --> 00:05:16,258
have such wisdom that you can share.

148
00:05:16,307 --> 00:05:18,927
Why don't you tell me
about what you did

149
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,524
before you lived here?

150
00:05:20,598 --> 00:05:23,084
I traveled to the world's
best cities,

151
00:05:23,215 --> 00:05:24,851
and in exchange,

152
00:05:24,956 --> 00:05:27,167
I married a rich man I didn't love.

153
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,246
- Yeah.
- But enough about me.

154
00:05:29,687 --> 00:05:32,326
- Shoot.
- I-I don't know how to play.

155
00:05:32,342 --> 00:05:34,871
My dad never let me in the
billiards room growing up, so...

156
00:05:34,889 --> 00:05:36,371
Oh, that's heartbreaking.

157
00:05:36,397 --> 00:05:38,033
Maybe I can help you.

158
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,348
Ow.

159
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,558
All right, I'll start low?

160
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:43,339
Now, before you shoot...

161
00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:45,325
Close your eyes,

162
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,121
and put it in.

163
00:05:48,172 --> 00:05:49,806
Is everything okay in here?

164
00:05:49,847 --> 00:05:52,163
It's fine, Mark.
Just fine.

165
00:05:53,522 --> 00:05:56,711
Why don't we go somewhere where
we can be a little more private?

166
00:05:56,974 --> 00:05:58,122
All right.

167
00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:01,599
♪ She don't want me no more ♪

168
00:06:02,091 --> 00:06:03,848
Whoo!

169
00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:05,758
Yeah!
That was awesome, man!

170
00:06:05,781 --> 00:06:07,300
Where'd you learn
how to play like that?

171
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:09,575
I roadied for ZZ Top.

172
00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:12,647
Plus I started taking
guitar lessons last year.

173
00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:13,881
I love ZZ Top.

174
00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:16,404
They're like the champagne
of beer-drinking music.

175
00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,972
Brother, I could tell you
some stories.

176
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,932
I would love to hear those.

177
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,410
Oh, my gosh.
What are you...

178
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:24,581
what are you doing?

179
00:06:24,612 --> 00:06:27,020
I... you got a cigarette in your neck.

180
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:29,654
Hey, you can't smoke in here.

181
00:06:29,748 --> 00:06:30,891
He can't smoke in here.

182
00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:33,301
And he knows that, because we've
been through this, Arthur.

183
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,506
Haven't we?

184
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:38,704
I don't get to have
any fun in this dump.

185
00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:40,848
They took away my cigarettes.

186
00:06:40,976 --> 00:06:42,791
They took away my booze.

187
00:06:42,846 --> 00:06:45,496
I can't even steal any pills anymore.

188
00:06:45,514 --> 00:06:48,446
I mean, what is wrong
with young people today, huh?

189
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:51,152
They need to respect their elders'...

190
00:06:51,282 --> 00:06:54,474
desire to do as many drugs
as they want.

191
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,652
You seem to me to be
a pretty righteous <i>hombre.</i>

192
00:06:58,889 --> 00:07:00,845
I wish you were my grandpa.

193
00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:02,058
I tell you what.

194
00:07:02,345 --> 00:07:04,489
You run some interference for me,

195
00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:06,705
help me score some pills,

196
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,307
you can call me
anything you want, son.

197
00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:12,553
I know that I haven't been
in, like, a war war.

198
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:15,228
But last spring, I got
in a fight at a dodgers game,

199
00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:16,583
and yeah, he beat me up pretty good.

200
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,699
It was a very, very violent
Mexican man.

201
00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:20,353
But I got the first laugh.

202
00:07:20,372 --> 00:07:22,147
But you're too fat to fight.

203
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:25,208
Go home, short-wide.
I got a pig to carve.

204
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,339
And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Silvia.

205
00:07:27,382 --> 00:07:29,913
Stop it! You stop!

206
00:07:30,273 --> 00:07:31,907
Ow!

207
00:07:32,309 --> 00:07:34,048
Ow.

208
00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:36,520
I am not a pussy.

209
00:07:36,761 --> 00:07:38,590
And I'm gonna prove it to you.

210
00:07:47,402 --> 00:07:50,406
{pub}I'm gonna launch off this roof
at 7 miles per hour

211
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,159
like a war helicopter.

212
00:07:52,641 --> 00:07:54,885
Then I'm gonna deploy this bed sheet

213
00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:57,272
as my parachute...

214
00:07:58,029 --> 00:08:00,786
And gently drop down to safety.

215
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:03,016
You're gonna die.

216
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,491
So would your girlfriend
be mad if she knew

217
00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:07,865
you were all alone
in another woman's room?

218
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:09,212
No, I don't even have a girlf...

219
00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:11,103
I'm between girlfriends right now.

220
00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:13,134
Models is what I'm usually dating,

221
00:08:13,152 --> 00:08:16,328
but no, this is
strictly journalistic, so...

222
00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:19,241
well, come and get your scoop.

223
00:08:19,656 --> 00:08:21,306
I know what you're doing, but...

224
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,968
your husband's
sleeping right there.

225
00:08:22,993 --> 00:08:24,613
Oh, honey, my husband's
been sleeping there

226
00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:26,469
for the last six years.

227
00:08:26,477 --> 00:08:27,658
Drop your pants,

228
00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:30,580
and I'll tell you everything
you want.

229
00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:32,406
All right, I just...

230
00:08:32,529 --> 00:08:34,287
I really want to be on MTV <i>True Life.</i>

231
00:08:34,593 --> 00:08:36,000
Have you seen it?

232
00:08:36,034 --> 00:08:38,098
It's pretty good.

233
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:40,601
Oh, not so fast, Bronco.

234
00:08:40,632 --> 00:08:42,313
- Ow.
- I may not be old,

235
00:08:42,331 --> 00:08:43,599
but I am old-fashioned.

236
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:48,343
So, uh, dance for me first.

237
00:08:54,107 --> 00:08:56,391
Right? And then a little bit of this.
It's not the butterfly.

238
00:08:56,418 --> 00:08:58,472
It's the tootsie roll.
Know what I mean?

239
00:09:11,187 --> 00:09:12,981
Nice day.

240
00:09:13,009 --> 00:09:14,816
- Uh-huh.
- What kind of enchiladas

241
00:09:14,848 --> 00:09:16,863
were those, huh?
Road kill?

242
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,350
Mm-hmm.

243
00:09:18,487 --> 00:09:20,757
Wouldn't mind if we had
some smooth pudding

244
00:09:20,782 --> 00:09:22,376
every once in a while.

245
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,466
Oh! Oh!

246
00:09:25,485 --> 00:09:26,497
I'm coming, sir.

247
00:09:26,527 --> 00:09:27,966
- Oh, bacon bits!
- Okay.

248
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,151
Oh, just the tip of my hip...

249
00:09:29,182 --> 00:09:30,985
no, no need to touch, really!

250
00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:32,760
No, it's fine.

251
00:09:32,804 --> 00:09:33,810
You got witch hands.

252
00:09:33,838 --> 00:09:36,477
- No.
- You got witch hands, okay?

253
00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:38,224
Oh, so tell me about the '60s.

254
00:09:38,249 --> 00:09:40,728
Did you march, and for what side?

255
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,626
What happened?
Did somebody hit the emergency...

256
00:09:43,664 --> 00:09:46,864
Peggy, Jesus Christ.
Not again.

257
00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:48,162
Again?

258
00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,161
Nice, I think we got 'em, man.

259
00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:54,397
Hey! You are not two old men.

260
00:09:54,436 --> 00:09:57,639
You are an old man, but you are not.

261
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,236
And in conclusion,

262
00:10:02,254 --> 00:10:04,231
as the civil rights activist

263
00:10:04,494 --> 00:10:07,023
Dr. Martens Luther King once said,

264
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,541
take yee sleazy.

265
00:10:10,613 --> 00:10:12,123
And I'm out.

266
00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:19,904
Ow, my shoulders!

267
00:10:19,929 --> 00:10:21,085
Oh, God!

268
00:10:21,101 --> 00:10:23,035
Oh, God!

269
00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:27,466
Damn it.

270
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,729
Okay, you three, guess what.

271
00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:32,960
Go to your rooms,
and say <i>aloha</i> to the Luau.

272
00:10:32,991 --> 00:10:35,703
But make it the good-bye <i>aloha,</i>
'cause you're not going.

273
00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:38,584
Get. And you three,
get the hell out of here.

274
00:10:38,602 --> 00:10:39,578
Don't film me.

275
00:10:39,631 --> 00:10:41,087
Don't film me anymore.

276
00:10:41,110 --> 00:10:43,100
This is all your fault.

277
00:10:43,173 --> 00:10:45,843
- Blake.
- See ya, Grandpa.

278
00:10:46,552 --> 00:10:47,697
This sucks.

279
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,761
I finally get a grandpa
worth keeping and loving,

280
00:10:49,785 --> 00:10:51,514
and his beard slips
right through my fingers.

281
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,077
Yeah, and I might as well
call my true life

282
00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:56,061
MTV <i>True Life:</i> I can't make
an MTV <i>True Life</i> to save my life.

283
00:10:56,086 --> 00:10:58,884
- This isn't over. Mm-mm.
- No, it's not.

284
00:10:58,902 --> 00:11:00,529
You still need insurance
from your Gramps.

285
00:11:00,546 --> 00:11:02,957
I need to prove to that
old turd that I'm a real Demamp.

286
00:11:03,019 --> 00:11:04,599
I'm gonna steal
his wrinkly ass out of here,

287
00:11:04,617 --> 00:11:06,047
and then I'm gonna take him
to the yard,

288
00:11:06,097 --> 00:11:07,096
and the yard is our house,

289
00:11:07,121 --> 00:11:08,827
and I'm gonna bark at him
like a big dog,

290
00:11:08,845 --> 00:11:10,511
'cause I'm a big dog,
and I'm ready to...

291
00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:12,853
Howwwl!

292
00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:15,064
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know, man.

293
00:11:15,094 --> 00:11:17,413
I'm in a lot of pain right now.
I think I might die.

294
00:11:17,669 --> 00:11:20,292
Lady and old dudes,

295
00:11:20,317 --> 00:11:24,080
welcome to the inautical
our Luau for old people party.

296
00:11:24,104 --> 00:11:25,573
Hey, what's up?

297
00:11:26,654 --> 00:11:28,790
- Jillian!
- Hey!

298
00:11:28,816 --> 00:11:30,974
- Where's the Luau stuff?
- What is this?

299
00:11:30,993 --> 00:11:32,069
I don't know.
It's a Luau.

300
00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:33,732
It's a different kind of Luau.

301
00:11:33,756 --> 00:11:36,509
Luau? Blake texted me Lou Albano.

302
00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:38,149
- What?
- I thought he meant, like,

303
00:11:38,173 --> 00:11:40,123
"Captain Lou" Albano,
the wrestling manager

304
00:11:40,141 --> 00:11:41,642
and Cindy Lauper's dad.

305
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:44,260
Ohhh, yeah, psh.
Look at that.

306
00:11:44,348 --> 00:11:48,678
Phone must've auto-corrected
Luau to Lou Albano.

307
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,505
Wow, that's insane.

308
00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:52,939
How often are you texting
the words "Lou Albano"?

309
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:54,291
I don't know.

310
00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:56,044
Like, four to five times a week.

311
00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:58,836
But what's up with all the cool, uh,

312
00:11:58,897 --> 00:12:00,683
hip, happening chicks, Jillian?

313
00:12:00,693 --> 00:12:02,464
Oh, this is my hockey team.

314
00:12:02,495 --> 00:12:03,735
We were gonna go to the bar

315
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:05,811
after our big win,
but this seemed like more fun.

316
00:12:05,824 --> 00:12:08,406
Yeah, bunch of crazy Russian bitches.

317
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:10,881
No, they're dolls.
They're sweet girls.

318
00:12:10,944 --> 00:12:13,696
- Oh, I bet.
- What's up, babies?

319
00:12:13,777 --> 00:12:15,559
You know the mouth of the South
ain't gonna miss

320
00:12:15,577 --> 00:12:18,925
a "Captain Lou" Albano party
with hockey chicks!

321
00:12:20,215 --> 00:12:21,715
Slash-Luau.

322
00:12:23,158 --> 00:12:24,338
It's me.
Uh, it's Karl.

323
00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:26,235
I'm dressed as Jimmy Hart.

324
00:12:36,145 --> 00:12:40,475
{pub}So how does our Luau compare
to your old folks' Luau?

325
00:12:41,498 --> 00:12:43,325
I like this one a lot better.

326
00:12:43,381 --> 00:12:45,101
Thank you.
We worked kind of...

327
00:12:45,119 --> 00:12:46,381
Oh, I see what you're...

328
00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:49,102
God, you're...
hey! Here's the deal.

329
00:12:49,814 --> 00:12:51,584
I'll let you have a dance, one song,

330
00:12:51,602 --> 00:12:53,443
but then you gotta answer
one of my questions.

331
00:12:53,502 --> 00:12:55,401
- Sure thing, babe.
- All right.

332
00:12:55,804 --> 00:12:57,154
Have a good...

333
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,914
have a good time.

334
00:13:02,411 --> 00:13:04,642
Ahh.

335
00:13:04,798 --> 00:13:06,923
- Now, this is my kinda party.
- Yeah.

336
00:13:06,935 --> 00:13:09,476
- What's going on here?
- Russian drinking game.

337
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:10,744
No pussy men allowed.

338
00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:13,863
Whoa, okay,
USA all the way, all right?

339
00:13:13,882 --> 00:13:16,496
I bet 20 bucks my Gramps here
could drink y'all

340
00:13:16,515 --> 00:13:19,080
Dolph Lundgrenettes under the table.

341
00:13:19,712 --> 00:13:21,534
- Let's go.
- All right.

342
00:13:21,553 --> 00:13:22,840
Show 'em who's boss.

343
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,253
Mm-hmm.

344
00:13:29,245 --> 00:13:30,397
- Whoo!
- Ahh.

345
00:13:30,421 --> 00:13:32,005
- Yeah!
- Lina.

346
00:13:32,023 --> 00:13:34,075
- We need more vodka.
- Why?

347
00:13:34,418 --> 00:13:37,389
We got plenty of good alcohol
right here.

348
00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,255
Oh, no, that's hand sanitizer.

349
00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:40,985
That's not...

350
00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:46,725
Ah.

351
00:13:47,364 --> 00:13:48,714
Want some?

352
00:13:48,759 --> 00:13:50,110
He beat me.

353
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,614
Straight up.
Pay him.

354
00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:53,775
Pay this man his money.

355
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,448
Whoo!

356
00:13:55,614 --> 00:13:57,219
Anybody got any hard drugs?

357
00:13:58,262 --> 00:13:59,975
USA.

358
00:14:00,201 --> 00:14:01,350
Uh-oh.

359
00:14:01,369 --> 00:14:03,363
Grandpa.
He's just taking a nap.

360
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,512
- Grandpa...
- Whoo!

361
00:14:05,806 --> 00:14:07,970
Anybody got any hard drugs?

362
00:14:09,927 --> 00:14:12,293
Grandpa, I know you think
I pussed out earlier,

363
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,776
but I'm gonna prove to you
once and for all

364
00:14:13,801 --> 00:14:15,356
I'm a real Demamp, starting now.

365
00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:16,669
- Jillian, you ready?
- Yep.

366
00:14:16,703 --> 00:14:18,626
- Okay.
- On action, okay? Ready?

367
00:14:18,651 --> 00:14:20,210
Yep.
Grandpa, you watching?

368
00:14:20,239 --> 00:14:22,457
- And action.
- Yo.

369
00:14:22,493 --> 00:14:25,092
What it is?
Adam Demamp here,

370
00:14:25,117 --> 00:14:28,836
here with <i>Demamp Camp:</i>
<i>Working Out With Tires.</i>

371
00:14:28,983 --> 00:14:32,204
As you saw earlier,
I de-located both of my arms

372
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:34,424
doing my classic dead tire flip lift.

373
00:14:34,512 --> 00:14:37,365
But I plan on doing the impossible

374
00:14:37,383 --> 00:14:39,754
to prove to my grandfather
that I'm not a pussy.

375
00:14:39,782 --> 00:14:42,705
That's him right there, although that
has nothing to do with the video.

376
00:14:42,744 --> 00:14:44,045
But I shall do it right now,

377
00:14:44,062 --> 00:14:46,589
1,000 times in a row,
starting right now.

378
00:14:46,893 --> 00:14:49,254
Okay. Are you getting this?

379
00:14:49,286 --> 00:14:50,736
Grandpa, are you watching?

380
00:14:51,996 --> 00:14:53,406
Oh!

381
00:14:53,562 --> 00:14:55,488
- Oh, my back!
- Adam...

382
00:14:55,512 --> 00:14:57,202
I ripped my back muscle in half!

383
00:15:05,159 --> 00:15:06,589
Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

384
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,078
Is it okay if I borrow
your dance partner, just for a second?

385
00:15:09,099 --> 00:15:10,313
Get over here.

386
00:15:10,332 --> 00:15:12,937
I don't know what your endgame is,
but that old horny lady over there

387
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,783
thinks you're a guy,
so unless you want her

388
00:15:14,802 --> 00:15:16,132
to find out otherwise,

389
00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:19,711
you better answer some questions
for my new documentary, MTV <i>True Life:</i>

390
00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:21,941
I'm a Russian lesbian hockey
player living in America,

391
00:15:22,013 --> 00:15:23,368
maybe legally.

392
00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:25,805
How about I just beat your ass?

393
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,300
I don't fight girls.

394
00:15:27,424 --> 00:15:29,296
Oh! No, please!

395
00:15:29,327 --> 00:15:30,541
Oh, yes!

396
00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,614
I love it when they fight over me.

397
00:15:32,629 --> 00:15:34,332
Fight, fight!

398
00:15:35,946 --> 00:15:38,491
You're dancing with a woman.

399
00:15:39,384 --> 00:15:40,960
Oh, and one...

400
00:15:40,985 --> 00:15:42,822
And two... And three!

401
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,601
That's it.
We got a new winner.

402
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:45,871
We've got a winner!

403
00:15:45,889 --> 00:15:48,017
She knocked you out like a bitch!

404
00:15:49,044 --> 00:15:50,425
Russian whip-its.

405
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,446
Oh, dear.

406
00:15:51,471 --> 00:15:53,959
It will blow the hair
right off your <i>babushka.</i>

407
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:58,663
We want to keep the hair on
his <i>babushka</i> today, thank you.

408
00:15:58,685 --> 00:16:00,129
- Okay...
- Ha, ha, ha!

409
00:16:00,142 --> 00:16:03,454
Hockey team...
hey, no!

410
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:05,772
See what you...

411
00:16:05,857 --> 00:16:07,219
Great. All right.

412
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,917
Do you need to go
to the restroom, or what?

413
00:16:08,948 --> 00:16:10,631
- Yeah, I...
- He can't breathe.

414
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:12,954
He can't breathe.
He can't breathe!

415
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,388
CPR! Anybody?

416
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:15,732
- Blake...
- I got you, Grandpa.

417
00:16:15,744 --> 00:16:17,766
Uh, just, uh,
split the mustache, and...

418
00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:18,853
- no, no, no!
- And kind of just...

419
00:16:18,865 --> 00:16:20,907
no! Mouth to neck.

420
00:16:20,931 --> 00:16:22,488
- Huh?
- Mouth, neck.

421
00:16:22,506 --> 00:16:24,951
- You got to help me, Grandson.
- Oh, no, no.

422
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,314
Maybe this is just your time
to go, my old man.

423
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,079
I can't breathe.

424
00:16:28,103 --> 00:16:29,689
You got to help your old Grandpa.

425
00:16:29,726 --> 00:16:31,709
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, fine, fine.

426
00:16:31,727 --> 00:16:33,571
Uh...
Uh...

427
00:16:33,674 --> 00:16:37,043
Eh... Uh...
Ugh...

428
00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:42,860
- Oh! Oh!
- I'm good.

429
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:46,553
I got your... I got your
throat spluge on my mouth!

430
00:16:46,584 --> 00:16:47,676
Oh, my God!

431
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:50,702
That was a rush.
Do you wanna keep it going?

432
00:17:00,212 --> 00:17:02,335
{pub}Just give me
the health insurance, please!

433
00:17:03,501 --> 00:17:06,379
Just give me the health insurance!

434
00:17:06,475 --> 00:17:09,017
Please! I don't know what else to do.

435
00:17:09,036 --> 00:17:10,611
Oh, Jesus!

436
00:17:10,706 --> 00:17:14,493
Oh, fuck, now I burned my hand.

437
00:17:17,118 --> 00:17:19,043
Just made it in time.

438
00:17:21,970 --> 00:17:23,762
George! Hey!

439
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,065
It's time to go home.

440
00:17:25,089 --> 00:17:27,367
Oh, I don't think so, Mark.

441
00:17:27,386 --> 00:17:29,771
You took my pig away from me.

442
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:32,508
And I'm not talking
about this piece right here.

443
00:17:32,539 --> 00:17:34,631
So <i>sayonara.</i>

444
00:17:34,837 --> 00:17:36,814
Yeah... no. No.

445
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:39,521
Your Grandpa's a total dick.

446
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,155
Grandpa!

447
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,200
Come on.
All right, all right, all right.

448
00:17:43,622 --> 00:17:45,916
- Keep them in the truck.
- Saved your life, man.

449
00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:48,021
I saw George heading west.

450
00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:50,207
He's not gonna get far
on those artificial hips.

451
00:17:50,693 --> 00:17:52,508
Tranq gun.

452
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,108
No. He's my Grandpa.

453
00:17:55,803 --> 00:17:57,665
I got this.

454
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,683
Oh! Oh, that hurt.

455
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,131
Yeah. Okay.

456
00:18:05,235 --> 00:18:07,388
- West is the other way.
- Okay.

457
00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:09,583
Yeah. Ugh.

458
00:18:10,095 --> 00:18:11,654
You hiding from me?

459
00:18:11,878 --> 00:18:14,524
I'm a way better hiderer
than you'll ever be.

460
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,546
Oh, I found you.

461
00:18:16,621 --> 00:18:19,599
I... you... agh! Ow!

462
00:18:19,686 --> 00:18:21,130
Jeez.

463
00:18:21,984 --> 00:18:22,897
Get back here!

464
00:18:22,921 --> 00:18:24,282
Ow.

465
00:18:24,544 --> 00:18:26,479
I'm gonna shoot you so hard!

466
00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:28,221
Come on.

467
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,223
Jeez, it's like <i>Double Dare</i> in here.

468
00:18:33,241 --> 00:18:35,861
Jesus, how many plants
does this... ugh.

469
00:18:35,892 --> 00:18:36,955
What's happening?

470
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,075
You have a beautiful home. I love it.

471
00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:43,353
Ow. Is this marble?
It's beautiful.

472
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,266
Hey! You get back here!

473
00:18:47,176 --> 00:18:48,553
Get back here!

474
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:51,315
You get back here right now!

475
00:18:51,845 --> 00:18:52,961
Get down!

476
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,332
Get down!

477
00:18:55,641 --> 00:18:58,040
Whoo! Whoooo!

478
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,376
Oh!

479
00:19:12,964 --> 00:19:15,305
- Agh.
- Man down.

480
00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:20,090
Sorry about that. Family stuff.
You guys have grandpas, right?

481
00:19:20,174 --> 00:19:22,570
Grandpa? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.

482
00:19:22,588 --> 00:19:23,987
There was no other way.

483
00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:25,820
No, no, it's okay.

484
00:19:25,848 --> 00:19:28,576
I'm proud of you because...

485
00:19:28,727 --> 00:19:31,438
You proved yourself to be a real man.

486
00:19:32,486 --> 00:19:33,574
Unlike me.

487
00:19:33,595 --> 00:19:36,357
- What?
- I'm not a war hero.

488
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:39,982
I got a dishonorable discharge
because...

489
00:19:40,427 --> 00:19:44,027
I shot myself in the leg
to avoid combat.

490
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:47,428
And the only reason
I was so hard on you

491
00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:50,874
was because I didn't want you
to end up like me.

492
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,980
I'm a loser.

493
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:54,727
You're not a loser.

494
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,277
You are a Demamp.

495
00:19:56,758 --> 00:19:58,469
It's not in our T.N.A.

496
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:02,331
I'm gonna put you
back on the health insurance.

497
00:20:02,614 --> 00:20:03,949
You know why?

498
00:20:04,211 --> 00:20:05,026
Why?

499
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:08,714
Because you learned
how to take a punch.

500
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,873
Ow!

501
00:20:11,915 --> 00:20:13,659
Fuck!

502
00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:15,817
Welcome to <i>Demamp Camp:</i>

503
00:20:15,886 --> 00:20:17,162
<i>Fully insured.</i>

504
00:20:17,193 --> 00:20:18,437
On this new edition,

505
00:20:18,456 --> 00:20:20,750
I will be showing you
a brand-new exercise

506
00:20:20,769 --> 00:20:24,249
that I just created using my
own brain and intelligence.

507
00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:26,554
It's called "the roof-fly-delt-pump".

508
00:20:26,566 --> 00:20:27,892
Basically, you get a running start,

509
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:29,730
pump your delts so hard that you come

510
00:20:29,743 --> 00:20:33,658
to a nice, soft landing,
because you've just flown

511
00:20:33,702 --> 00:20:35,193
for a few seconds.

512
00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:36,672
Let's do this!

513
00:20:36,823 --> 00:20:38,844
Come on, here we go. Yeah!

514
00:20:39,849 --> 00:20:43,090
- Ohhh!
- Oh! Adam!

515
00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:44,662
Blake, we get it?

516
00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:46,165
Dude, you don't have
to keep asking me

517
00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:47,954
if we got... oh.

518
00:20:48,024 --> 00:20:50,187
Actually, I ran out of batteries.

519
00:20:50,474 --> 00:20:51,543
Ders, did you get it?

520
00:20:51,578 --> 00:20:53,549
Yeah, did you get
the behind-the-scenes?

521
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:54,910
Yeah, I got it.

522
00:20:54,947 --> 00:20:56,285
MTV <i>True Life:</i>

523
00:20:56,318 --> 00:20:58,624
I'm trying to get on <i>Tosh.0.</i>

524
00:20:58,732 --> 00:21:03,732
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>
Resync for DEMAND by antibio

