1 00:00:06,996 --> 00:00:08,996 ♪ 2 00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:14,896 Do the Homer shake. 3 00:00:14,930 --> 00:00:16,948 ♪ 4 00:00:19,869 --> 00:00:21,870 ♪== sync, corrected by elderman == 5 00:00:21,895 --> 00:00:25,895 ♪ The Simpsons 24x14 ♪ Gorgeous Grampa Original Air Date on March 3 2013 6 00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:30,228 Hmm. I can't believe you're reading 7 00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:32,714 when there's so much great stuff on TV. 8 00:00:32,748 --> 00:00:34,532 Hmm, you're right. 9 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:35,867 It is the golden age 10 00:00:35,901 --> 00:00:38,536 of well-written, brilliantly-acted TV shows. 11 00:00:38,571 --> 00:00:41,239 Writing is for bathroom walls, 12 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:43,708 and acting is for getting out of DUIs. 13 00:00:43,742 --> 00:00:46,945 The only reason TV exists is for reality shows 14 00:00:46,979 --> 00:00:51,216 about white-trash scuzzbags doing subhuman, made-up jobs. 15 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,384 Um... Oh. Ah. 16 00:00:53,419 --> 00:00:55,487 Eek. Yikes. Oh. 17 00:00:55,521 --> 00:00:57,388 Ew. Ugh. Well... 18 00:00:57,423 --> 00:00:59,390 Ew. Ah. Dad! 19 00:00:59,425 --> 00:01:01,392 No. Ah! Oh. 20 00:01:01,427 --> 00:01:02,760 Seriously? Ah! 21 00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:07,432 Ooh, jail music! 22 00:01:07,466 --> 00:01:09,250 When storage lockers are abandoned, 23 00:01:09,285 --> 00:01:11,603 we open them up! 24 00:01:11,637 --> 00:01:14,305 Our expert bidders face off in the ultimate contest 25 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,292 to discover the amazing treasures within. 26 00:01:17,326 --> 00:01:20,645 This is Storage Battles! 27 00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:23,648 I'll give it one marathon. 28 00:01:26,185 --> 00:01:29,287 I don't care what people say, I am feeling this unit. 29 00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:31,723 No one feels out a unit like CJ. 30 00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:34,692 Not Bubba, not Debbie and Danny, no one. 31 00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,494 Mostly worthless junk: 32 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:39,197 family photo albums, home movies, 33 00:01:39,231 --> 00:01:40,999 ah, kids' drawings. 34 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,735 Eh, just some nobody. 35 00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:45,236 Here we go, here we go. 36 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,038 Bubble wrap. 37 00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:49,507 If there's wrap, it ain't crap. 38 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:50,742 Bingo! 39 00:01:50,776 --> 00:01:52,210 Antique bayonets. 40 00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:55,813 Oh! I'm talking World War One, Spanish American War. 41 00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:58,149 Crimea, baby. 42 00:01:58,183 --> 00:02:01,819 Well, if you found the right buyer on the right day, 43 00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:04,556 and he knew nothing about bayonets, 44 00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:07,425 you might sell them for possibly $500. 45 00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:09,160 Definitely $500. 46 00:02:09,194 --> 00:02:10,395 $500! 47 00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:11,763 Five hundy! 48 00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:13,197 Five hundaminidos! 49 00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:18,436 High-five me, Marge. 50 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,737 I want to know what it's for. 51 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:21,105 Too late. 52 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:24,175 We're gonna get rich off the poor and forgetful. 53 00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:25,710 And dead people. 54 00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:31,449 I bet I win a locker full of treasure, 55 00:02:31,483 --> 00:02:35,119 like a solid gold bar of silver or Picasso's TV. 56 00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:36,621 Oh, no, no, no. 57 00:02:36,655 --> 00:02:39,324 It is I who will be watching Picasso's TV tonight! 58 00:02:41,393 --> 00:02:42,727 Looks like you're not the only 59 00:02:42,761 --> 00:02:44,629 predatory opportunist in town. 60 00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:47,065 There's other P.O.'s?! 61 00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:49,667 Uh-oh, better put on my game shades. 62 00:02:56,775 --> 00:02:58,476 Do I hear $50? Let me get $50. 63 00:02:58,510 --> 00:02:59,444 Oh, yeah! 64 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:00,745 $100. Is there $100 out there? 65 00:03:00,779 --> 00:03:02,246 Looking for $100. Thank you! 66 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:03,915 $150, $150. 67 00:03:03,949 --> 00:03:05,116 Do I have $200? 68 00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:06,985 $250. Do I hear... 69 00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:08,086 $350. Yarr! 70 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,821 Four. Do I hear $400? 71 00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,089 $450. Bidding! 72 00:03:11,123 --> 00:03:12,256 $500. 73 00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:13,725 $550. Skinner! 74 00:03:13,759 --> 00:03:15,493 $600. 75 00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:16,728 $650. 76 00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,630 $650 going once, $650 going twice... 77 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:24,068 $1,000. 78 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,403 $1,000 going once, going twice. 79 00:03:25,437 --> 00:03:27,505 Sold to the man who didn't wait for the bidding 80 00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:29,107 to get anywhere near $1,000! 81 00:03:29,141 --> 00:03:32,210 In the money game, cash is king. 82 00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:41,753 We spent $1,000 on a bunch of old boxes? 83 00:03:41,787 --> 00:03:43,688 You won't be laughing when these boxes 84 00:03:43,722 --> 00:03:45,456 are full of priceless treasures. 85 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:48,059 I wasn't laughing, I was being worried. 86 00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:52,363 Feather boas? 87 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,332 Mine's full of hand mirrors. 88 00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:56,501 I've got perfume spritzers. 89 00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:58,469 Makeup and baby oil. 90 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,171 Tights? Robes? 91 00:04:00,205 --> 00:04:03,324 Oh, this stupid locker must have belonged to some old lady. 92 00:04:03,359 --> 00:04:06,260 "Property of Abraham J. Simpson"? 93 00:04:06,295 --> 00:04:08,162 This is Grampa's stuff. 94 00:04:08,197 --> 00:04:10,998 Why would my man-dad have lady stuff? 95 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,900 It's not all lady stuff. 96 00:04:12,935 --> 00:04:17,572 Look at all these fitness publications. 97 00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:20,141 Beefcake mags? 98 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:25,046 I think your dad might be gay. 99 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,014 Oh, that's insane. 100 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,167 My dad was married to a woman 101 00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:32,620 who left him because he ignored her needs for decades. 102 00:04:32,654 --> 00:04:36,991 Ah, my gay dad is gay for gays. 103 00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:45,800 I think this is great. 104 00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:47,902 Old gay men are adorable. 105 00:04:47,936 --> 00:04:51,038 Like wrinkle dogs in a wrinkle dog calendar. 106 00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,040 Those are pretty cute. 107 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,810 Your dad's been in the closet for so long, 108 00:04:55,844 --> 00:04:59,197 he probably doesn't know how tolerant society's become. 109 00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:03,701 They even had a gay float in the Pride Parade last year. 110 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,571 My dad has always been so angry. 111 00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,873 Maybe if we help him be who he is, 112 00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:10,608 he'll finally be happy. 113 00:05:10,642 --> 00:05:12,110 Oh, Homie, 114 00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:15,079 you're so enlightened. 115 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:21,586 Yeah, gay rights are human rights, baby. 116 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:26,908 Are you sure you're not just doing all this 117 00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,676 because it's cool to be accepting 118 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,077 of a gay family member? 119 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,513 Oh, honey, that's just silly. 120 00:05:32,548 --> 00:05:34,298 This'll show Helen Lovejoy. 121 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,435 Always bragging about her he-she cousin. 122 00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:41,606 Abe, we found your storage locker. 123 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:42,940 It's okay, Dad. 124 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,443 We know the truth, and we love you. 125 00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:46,778 What?! 126 00:05:46,812 --> 00:05:49,430 The contents of that locker are my private business! 127 00:05:49,465 --> 00:05:50,598 Get out! 128 00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:51,966 Just admit who you are, 129 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,101 and you can find new love. 130 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,037 If you don't want to die alone, 131 00:05:56,071 --> 00:05:58,239 come out of your room. 132 00:05:58,273 --> 00:06:01,709 Love... love... 133 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,344 love... love... 134 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:07,715 Hi, Marge. 135 00:06:07,749 --> 00:06:10,785 I was just taking Stanlerina to get her hormone shots. 136 00:06:10,819 --> 00:06:11,986 Oh. 137 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:14,388 Your father wasted his whole life being married 138 00:06:14,423 --> 00:06:16,157 to your mother and having you. 139 00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:19,260 We've got to find him a boyfriend before it's too late. 140 00:06:19,294 --> 00:06:21,596 Why don't you put a personal ad on the Internet? 141 00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:23,664 That's how young people date these days. 142 00:06:23,699 --> 00:06:24,832 It's weird that you don't 143 00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:26,567 consider yourself a young person. 144 00:06:26,602 --> 00:06:27,401 I know. 145 00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:28,603 It's weird to me, too. 146 00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,671 "Help me out of the closet. 147 00:06:30,706 --> 00:06:33,274 "Wonderful older man seeks life partner 148 00:06:33,308 --> 00:06:35,810 before rapidly-encroaching death." 149 00:06:35,844 --> 00:06:36,911 No fatties. 150 00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:38,613 How about some fatties? 151 00:06:38,647 --> 00:06:39,614 Fine. 152 00:06:39,648 --> 00:06:41,015 Okay, post this under 153 00:06:41,049 --> 00:06:42,817 "Men Seeking Men." 154 00:06:42,851 --> 00:06:44,285 But what subheading? 155 00:06:44,319 --> 00:06:45,920 Hmm, nothing too serious. 156 00:06:45,954 --> 00:06:48,923 Here we go, "Casual Encounters." 157 00:06:48,957 --> 00:06:51,959 Perfect! No pressure. 158 00:06:53,228 --> 00:06:54,929 I hope someone saw our ad. 159 00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:57,698 If I can't find my father a man to kiss and cuddle, 160 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,333 then I've failed as a son. 161 00:07:00,569 --> 00:07:01,569 Someone's coming. 162 00:07:02,871 --> 00:07:05,373 Are you "Wrinkled and Romantic"? 163 00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:08,009 Huh? What the heck are you talking about, Spectacles? 164 00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:10,211 Oh, I've been hung up on someone for years, 165 00:07:10,245 --> 00:07:12,346 but I'm trapped in the friend zone. 166 00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:14,448 It's time for me to move on. 167 00:07:14,483 --> 00:07:15,516 So move on. 168 00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:16,717 You're blocking the ducks. 169 00:07:16,752 --> 00:07:18,920 Don't you want to be happy, Abe? 170 00:07:18,954 --> 00:07:22,690 Admit who you are, a wonderful gay man. 171 00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:25,443 What?! 172 00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:27,144 I don't ride sidesaddle! 173 00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:29,013 I'm straight as a submarine! 174 00:07:29,047 --> 00:07:31,482 Then how do you explain this? 175 00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:33,117 Oh, hello, Smithers. 176 00:07:33,151 --> 00:07:36,053 Fancy seeing you in Casual Encounter Park. 177 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,274 You're Glamorous Godfrey! 178 00:07:40,309 --> 00:07:41,976 Who? 179 00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:44,612 Glamorous Godfrey was the most famous wrestler in the world. 180 00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:45,880 And you are he! 181 00:07:45,914 --> 00:07:47,715 Is this true? 182 00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:49,617 Behold. 183 00:07:49,651 --> 00:07:51,085 Look at all this wrestling crap. 184 00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:52,236 Ah. Ay, caramba! 185 00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,972 Fine, I was Glamorous Godfrey. 186 00:07:57,175 --> 00:07:58,209 What's wrong? 187 00:07:58,243 --> 00:08:01,045 I so wanted him to be gay. 188 00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:04,081 Well, on V.E. Day, I kissed a man by mistake. 189 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,449 Thank you. 190 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,647 You were a world-famous wrestler? 191 00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:11,482 Spill the beans, old man. 192 00:08:11,516 --> 00:08:12,650 Word beans! 193 00:08:12,684 --> 00:08:14,885 Oh, all right, I'll tell you. 194 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,021 It was the 1950s. 195 00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:19,056 Oh, those things? 196 00:08:19,091 --> 00:08:21,492 It was the heyday of pro wrestling. 197 00:08:21,526 --> 00:08:24,261 You could make good money if you were the manly mixture 198 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,731 of strong and fat we called beefy. 199 00:08:26,765 --> 00:08:30,534 Good guys were called "baby faces." 200 00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:33,320 And bad guys were called "heels." 201 00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:37,224 I was the king of the heels, Glamorous Godfrey. 202 00:08:37,259 --> 00:08:38,509 How dare he! 203 00:08:38,543 --> 00:08:40,411 That was drinking milk! 204 00:08:40,445 --> 00:08:42,897 My motto was "Always cheat." 205 00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:52,957 But the thing that really drove them crazy was my vanity. 206 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,893 You are the luckiest people in the world. 207 00:08:55,927 --> 00:08:58,062 You get to look at me. 208 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,736 Grampa, you were the original bad boy. 209 00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:09,540 Yeah, I was boastful before all your football showboaters, 210 00:09:09,574 --> 00:09:12,359 rap music-ers and TV beach Italians. 211 00:09:12,394 --> 00:09:15,262 But there was a down side to being hated: 212 00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,031 being hated. 213 00:09:27,592 --> 00:09:29,660 Well, I just couldn't take it. 214 00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:38,836 Being despised was no way to live. 215 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:39,904 Pshaw! 216 00:09:39,938 --> 00:09:41,172 Pshaw, I say! 217 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,706 Pshaw yourself! 218 00:09:42,741 --> 00:09:44,475 Pshaw! Pshaw! 219 00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:45,810 Homer, do something! 220 00:09:45,844 --> 00:09:47,611 They're killing each other! 221 00:09:47,646 --> 00:09:49,580 Oh, yeah? 222 00:09:49,614 --> 00:09:52,399 The world may have despised Glamorous Godfrey, 223 00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:54,702 but that conceited mother-puncher was my hero. 224 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,339 Please, Abe, let me buy you dinner 225 00:09:58,373 --> 00:10:00,674 in exchange for a few tales of the golden age 226 00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:02,076 of professional grappling. 227 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:06,797 Sorry, I been trying to forget those days for 50 years. 228 00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:08,165 But, Grampa, 229 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,100 I want to hear about old-time wrestling, too. 230 00:10:10,135 --> 00:10:12,486 Well, it looks like you've made a new fan. 231 00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:15,322 It'd be a shame to let him down, hmm? 232 00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:16,323 Fine. 233 00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:17,791 One dinner. 234 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,093 Excellent. 235 00:10:19,127 --> 00:10:21,278 So we'll take the boy and make a night of it. 236 00:10:21,313 --> 00:10:22,379 I don't know. 237 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,047 Should I really let the men 238 00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:25,916 who ruined my past and present 239 00:10:25,951 --> 00:10:28,469 hang out with the kid who's going to ruin my future? 240 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:29,637 I'll bring you home my dessert. 241 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,138 Text me the choices. 242 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,840 I can't believe I'm on the town 243 00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:35,776 with Glamorous Godfrey himself. 244 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:39,163 Tell me of your epic battle with Swedish Olaf Johannsen. 245 00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:42,917 Oh, yeah, "The Fury of the Fjords." 246 00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:52,509 You settled that Swede's meatballs. 247 00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:54,995 What I wouldn't give to see Glamorous Godfrey 248 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,530 in action once more. 249 00:10:56,565 --> 00:10:58,032 Would you ever consider 250 00:10:58,066 --> 00:10:59,900 throwing your wig back into the ring? 251 00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,969 Go back to being a villain? 252 00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:03,370 Oh, forget that. 253 00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:06,173 Being hated is the worst feeling there is. 254 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,909 You've got it all wrong, my friend. 255 00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:10,477 Once you see it my way, 256 00:11:10,512 --> 00:11:12,813 you'll understand that being hated 257 00:11:12,847 --> 00:11:15,316 is the greatest feeling in the world. 258 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:18,719 ♪ Don't really care for chasing women ♪ 259 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:20,621 ♪ Never was keen on booze 260 00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:23,207 ♪ Don't take cocaine or Mary Jane ♪ 261 00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:26,026 ♪ No, I get drunk on boos... 262 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,896 Uh, that's B-O-O-S, not Z-E as before. 263 00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:30,164 Uh, we get it. 264 00:11:30,198 --> 00:11:31,465 ♪ Because... 265 00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:33,918 ♪ You've got to love to be hated ♪ 266 00:11:33,952 --> 00:11:36,387 ♪ Find the good in being bad 267 00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,906 ♪ Oh, the crowd is full of gentlemen ♪ 268 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,908 ♪ But they've paid to see the cad ♪ 269 00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:43,210 ♪ Yes, it's a hoot, a kick, a gas ♪ 270 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,312 ♪ When you're the villain of the show ♪ 271 00:11:45,347 --> 00:11:47,798 ♪ Once you wear black, you'll never go back ♪ 272 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,834 ♪ It's a high to be loathed 273 00:11:52,904 --> 00:11:55,172 ♪ Chucky, Stalin, Megatron 274 00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:57,374 ♪ Eric Cartman, Donkey Kong 275 00:11:57,409 --> 00:11:59,510 ♪ Vader, Nader, Simon Legree 276 00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,712 ♪ Terminators, one, two and three ♪ 277 00:12:01,746 --> 00:12:04,031 ♪ Iago, Joker, Voldemort 278 00:12:04,065 --> 00:12:06,300 ♪ McEnroe on center court 279 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,535 ♪ Mr. Burns and Skeletor 280 00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:11,388 ♪ Keep your good guys, what a snore ♪ 281 00:12:11,423 --> 00:12:15,125 ♪ When it's your head they wanna sever ♪ 282 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,695 ♪ And your blood they wanna shed ♪ 283 00:12:17,729 --> 00:12:19,830 ♪ You know you're gonna live forever ♪ 284 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,032 ♪ If everybody wants you dead 285 00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:24,084 ♪ So listen up, because I'm giving ♪ 286 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,337 ♪ The best advice you'll ever know ♪ 287 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,988 ♪ So feel the thrill 288 00:12:28,023 --> 00:12:29,289 ♪ I know you will 289 00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:32,076 ♪ It's a high to be 290 00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:34,828 ♪ Loa... 291 00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:36,513 ♪ ...thed! 292 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,016 I'll feel like I'll live forever 293 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,669 as long as everybody wants me dead. 294 00:12:41,703 --> 00:12:43,037 Okay, Burns! 295 00:12:43,071 --> 00:12:46,240 Glamorous Godfrey will wrestle again! 296 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,878 That cocaine I ordered is taking forever! 297 00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,002 I can't wait to see Grampa kick some ass. 298 00:12:58,004 --> 00:12:59,572 He's always pretended to be boring, 299 00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:01,474 but he's really a straight-up psycho. 300 00:13:01,508 --> 00:13:04,260 Your grandfather is not psycho. 301 00:13:04,294 --> 00:13:07,463 The only thing he's "straight-up" is loves you. 302 00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:10,199 Gorilla Joe, Gorilla Sam, Gorilla Pete, 303 00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:12,368 Ook and Eek, the Gorilla Twins. 304 00:13:12,402 --> 00:13:15,204 Where did Mr. Burns dig up all these old wrestlers? 305 00:13:15,238 --> 00:13:16,605 Apparently, old folks homes 306 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,075 are full of people that used to be things. 307 00:13:19,109 --> 00:13:21,594 Just like you and me. Swear to God. 308 00:13:21,628 --> 00:13:24,096 Welcome, aficionados of the roped ring, 309 00:13:24,131 --> 00:13:26,749 to a thrilling night of senior-on-senior action. 310 00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:38,844 Folding chairs! Folding chairs! 311 00:13:38,879 --> 00:13:40,780 Can't hit somebody when they're not looking 312 00:13:40,814 --> 00:13:42,248 without a folding chair! 313 00:13:42,282 --> 00:13:43,249 Can I have one? 314 00:13:43,283 --> 00:13:44,300 Can I? Fine. 315 00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:45,601 Ha! 316 00:13:45,635 --> 00:13:47,620 And now our main event. 317 00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:50,539 In this corner, Baby Face Palooka. 318 00:13:50,574 --> 00:13:51,807 And entering the ring, 319 00:13:51,842 --> 00:13:54,577 America's original vainglorious bastard, 320 00:13:54,611 --> 00:13:56,278 Glamorous Godfrey! 321 00:14:05,288 --> 00:14:07,273 Yes, feel the hatred. 322 00:14:07,307 --> 00:14:10,943 It makes you strong, powerful, alive. 323 00:14:10,977 --> 00:14:14,380 You are the luckiest people in the world! 324 00:14:14,414 --> 00:14:16,382 You get to look at me! 325 00:14:22,239 --> 00:14:23,439 You show 'em, Godfrey! 326 00:14:23,473 --> 00:14:25,508 You're the prettiest old man in the world! 327 00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:28,077 Why do you think bad guys are so cool? 328 00:14:28,111 --> 00:14:30,279 Why do you still have a thing for Nelson? 329 00:14:30,313 --> 00:14:32,114 I'm not! That's ridiculous! 330 00:14:32,149 --> 00:14:34,433 I just... it's that... he, uh... 331 00:14:34,468 --> 00:14:37,119 He's a rebel, and only I can change him! 332 00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,808 It's so sad that Grampa has to cheat 333 00:14:59,843 --> 00:15:02,878 instead of relying on his God-given wrestling skills. 334 00:15:02,913 --> 00:15:05,948 What kind of person revels in disapproval? 335 00:15:05,982 --> 00:15:09,785 What kind of person, indeed. 336 00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:17,960 It's the prettiest boy in Springfield, Bart Simpson! 337 00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,695 What's going on? 338 00:15:23,567 --> 00:15:26,135 You are the luckiest people in the world! 339 00:15:26,169 --> 00:15:27,570 You get to look at me! 340 00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:33,058 Hey! 341 00:15:37,531 --> 00:15:39,932 Hey, Simpson, tell your kid to quit showboating. 342 00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:43,469 I've never seen anyone so full of self-regard! 343 00:15:43,503 --> 00:15:46,639 And I've worked with Bob Balaban! 344 00:15:52,829 --> 00:15:55,764 Your behavior at that game was unacceptable! 345 00:15:55,799 --> 00:15:58,817 You're lucky they gave you your participant trophy! 346 00:15:58,852 --> 00:16:01,186 I got one just for watching the game. 347 00:16:03,189 --> 00:16:05,991 Listen, getting people riled up is what heels do. 348 00:16:06,026 --> 00:16:07,626 Heel? Oh, no. 349 00:16:07,661 --> 00:16:09,662 Tell me you're not trying to be like Grampa! 350 00:16:09,696 --> 00:16:11,096 Well, sure I am. 351 00:16:11,131 --> 00:16:12,698 I always thought Grampa was lame, 352 00:16:12,732 --> 00:16:14,433 but he's really awesome! 353 00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:16,569 Your grandfather is super lame! 354 00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:19,371 I mean, if he wasn't a terrible father, 355 00:16:19,406 --> 00:16:21,507 what's my excuse for this? 356 00:16:24,878 --> 00:16:27,413 I know your grandpa seems exciting now, 357 00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:29,915 but all that preening and cheating-- 358 00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:33,786 those turnbuckle antics are not gonna make him happy. 359 00:16:36,306 --> 00:16:38,240 Burnsy, I can't remember the last time 360 00:16:38,275 --> 00:16:40,259 I was so happy! 361 00:16:41,394 --> 00:16:43,362 You grandson- ruining fiend! 362 00:16:43,396 --> 00:16:45,414 Look what your number one fan 363 00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:47,049 did at show-and-tell! 364 00:16:48,118 --> 00:16:49,785 Wait. Ow. 365 00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,854 Ah. Wait. 366 00:16:51,888 --> 00:16:53,856 Who would film such a thing? 367 00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:55,374 It's found footage! 368 00:16:55,408 --> 00:16:58,143 So what? We could use another winner in this family! 369 00:16:58,178 --> 00:16:59,595 How are you a winner? 370 00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,597 You're cheating in a fake sport. 371 00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:02,931 Fake? Ridiculous. 372 00:17:02,966 --> 00:17:04,583 If professional wrestling were fake, 373 00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:07,486 that would make every fan in the history of the sport 374 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,955 a complete and utter moron. 375 00:17:11,591 --> 00:17:12,958 Mercy. 376 00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:16,028 You know, I've always had a keen eye for tiny talent. 377 00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:18,464 Perhaps you and the lad could tag-team up. 378 00:17:18,498 --> 00:17:19,798 Wrestle with Bart? 379 00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:22,801 Well, he ain't beefy, but he is infuriating, 380 00:17:22,836 --> 00:17:24,703 and you can't teach infuriating. 381 00:17:24,738 --> 00:17:26,805 Monty, you're a genius! 382 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,308 Bart cannot be an old-time wrestler! 383 00:17:29,342 --> 00:17:33,362 As your inattentive son, and your incompetent employee, 384 00:17:33,396 --> 00:17:34,913 I forbid it! 385 00:17:34,948 --> 00:17:39,084 Oh, why does everything I forbid always happen? 386 00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:47,267 So, Beautiful, you got your moves memorized? 387 00:17:47,301 --> 00:17:48,935 You know it, Glamorous! 388 00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,704 Eye gouge! Ear bite! Folding chair! 389 00:17:50,738 --> 00:17:52,839 Hair pull! Face-fart! Flying face-fart! 390 00:17:52,874 --> 00:17:54,858 And then I start fighting dirty. 391 00:17:56,043 --> 00:17:57,778 They're gonna hate you so much. 392 00:17:59,197 --> 00:18:00,764 Oh, I get it. 393 00:18:00,798 --> 00:18:04,401 You're here to tell the kid he can't wrestle with his grandpa. 394 00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:08,872 I don't care if Bart is a wrestler, 395 00:18:08,906 --> 00:18:13,210 a busboy, or even a stoplight squeegee man, 396 00:18:13,244 --> 00:18:16,046 as long as he's a nice person. 397 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,949 But if he gets too much attention for acting bad, 398 00:18:18,983 --> 00:18:21,735 he might turn bad on the inside. 399 00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:23,653 Eh, that's women-talk. 400 00:18:23,688 --> 00:18:27,557 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to comb out my curls! 401 00:18:27,592 --> 00:18:30,961 One... two... three... 402 00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:37,067 Beautiful Bart, can I have your autograph? 403 00:18:37,101 --> 00:18:38,902 Sure. Here you go. 404 00:18:42,573 --> 00:18:44,107 Eh, hey, Bart, 405 00:18:44,142 --> 00:18:46,543 leave some of that bad attitude for the ring. 406 00:18:46,577 --> 00:18:48,945 The world is my ring now. 407 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,853 In this corner, for truth and justice, 408 00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:58,688 Captain Flag and Half-Mast. 409 00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:04,094 Now entering the ring, the first family of foul play, 410 00:19:04,128 --> 00:19:06,396 Glamorous Godfrey and Beautiful Bart! 411 00:19:09,717 --> 00:19:11,384 You all stink! 412 00:19:17,508 --> 00:19:20,527 Glamorous Godfrey is dead! 413 00:19:24,148 --> 00:19:26,783 I am Honest Abe! 414 00:19:30,488 --> 00:19:33,623 And this is Laddie Liberty! 415 00:19:33,658 --> 00:19:35,192 What are you doing? 416 00:19:35,226 --> 00:19:37,510 I ain't a heel no more, I'm a good guy. 417 00:19:37,545 --> 00:19:38,945 And you're a baby-face. 418 00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:40,480 But-but what about the cheating? 419 00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:41,548 No more cheating. 420 00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:42,649 And the preening? 421 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:43,817 No more preening. 422 00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:45,051 But I'm so pretty. 423 00:19:45,086 --> 00:19:47,287 That's for others to say now. 424 00:19:47,321 --> 00:19:49,022 What are you doing, Godfrey? 425 00:19:49,056 --> 00:19:52,292 You're a villain, not some bullet-brained rail-splitter. 426 00:19:52,326 --> 00:19:55,312 Without someone to hate, there's no excitement, no thrill. 427 00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:57,981 I don't care. My grandson's soul is at stake. 428 00:19:58,015 --> 00:20:00,317 How dare you. I wrote a song for you. 429 00:20:00,351 --> 00:20:02,636 When am I ever going to use that again? 430 00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:05,972 Curse you, and this morbidly obese little half-wit. 431 00:20:07,174 --> 00:20:10,360 So, they only want to see a good guy 432 00:20:10,394 --> 00:20:12,195 fight a bad guy, eh? 433 00:20:13,848 --> 00:20:16,066 Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa... 434 00:20:17,752 --> 00:20:19,703 He's taking on Mean Man Monty! 435 00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:21,538 Go get him, Honest Abe! 436 00:20:21,572 --> 00:20:23,840 This is why we go to everything in this town-- 437 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,225 it always pays off. 438 00:20:28,195 --> 00:20:29,813 Honest Abe, can I pin him? 439 00:20:29,847 --> 00:20:32,749 Ha-ha! You know it, Laddie Liberty! 440 00:20:40,558 --> 00:20:43,226 Damndest boos I ever heard. 441 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:45,095 They're cheering, Grampa. 442 00:20:45,129 --> 00:20:48,265 This is what I've been missing my whole life. 443 00:20:50,301 --> 00:20:52,769 Oh, that was so sweet. 444 00:20:53,871 --> 00:20:56,439 I wish Grampa was my dad. 445 00:20:56,457 --> 00:21:01,457 == sync, corrected by elderman == 446 00:21:45,444 --> 00:21:46,748 Shh!