1 00:00:24,195 --> 00:00:26,195 ♪ 2 00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:32,774 HOMER: Do the Homer shake. 3 00:00:33,298 --> 00:00:35,316 ♪ 4 00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:39,651 ♪ == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 5 00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:43,676 ♪ The Simpsons 24x14 ♪ Gorgeous Grampa Original Air Date on March 3 2013 6 00:00:45,388 --> 00:00:47,733 Hmm. I can't believe you're reading 7 00:00:47,751 --> 00:00:50,335 when there's so much great stuff on TV. 8 00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:52,098 Hmm, you're right. 9 00:00:52,134 --> 00:00:56,068 It is the golden age of well-written, brilliantly-acted TV shows. 10 00:00:56,107 --> 00:00:57,018 (scoffs) 11 00:00:57,043 --> 00:00:58,884 Writing is for bathroom walls, 12 00:00:58,908 --> 00:01:01,190 and acting is for getting out of DUIs. 13 00:01:01,215 --> 00:01:04,444 The only reason TV exists is for reality shows 14 00:01:04,462 --> 00:01:08,838 about white-trash scuzzbags doing subhuman, made-up jobs. 15 00:01:09,086 --> 00:01:11,088 Um... Oh. Ah. 16 00:01:11,106 --> 00:01:13,102 Eek. Yikes. Oh. 17 00:01:13,138 --> 00:01:15,055 Ew. Ugh. Well... 18 00:01:15,097 --> 00:01:17,014 Ew. Ah. Dad! 19 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,093 No. Ah! Oh. 20 00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:20,459 Seriously? Ah! 21 00:01:20,557 --> 00:01:22,725 (bluesy rock music playing) 22 00:01:23,019 --> 00:01:24,952 Ooh, jail music! 23 00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:26,873 NARRATOR: When storage lockers are abandoned, 24 00:01:26,897 --> 00:01:28,977 we open them up! 25 00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:31,738 Our expert bidders face off in the ultimate contest 26 00:01:31,763 --> 00:01:34,965 to discover the amazing treasures within. 27 00:01:35,044 --> 00:01:38,363 This is Storage Battles! 28 00:01:39,259 --> 00:01:41,444 I'll give it one marathon. 29 00:01:43,797 --> 00:01:46,631 I don't care what people say, I am feeling this unit. 30 00:01:46,662 --> 00:01:49,312 No one feels out a unit like CJ. 31 00:01:49,338 --> 00:01:52,273 Not Bubba, not Debbie and Danny, no one. 32 00:01:52,326 --> 00:01:54,064 Mostly worthless junk: 33 00:01:54,089 --> 00:01:56,652 family photo albums, home movies, 34 00:01:56,686 --> 00:01:58,454 ah, kids' drawings. 35 00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:01,097 Eh, just some nobody. 36 00:02:01,561 --> 00:02:02,907 Here we go, here we go. 37 00:02:02,970 --> 00:02:04,537 Bubble wrap. 38 00:02:04,772 --> 00:02:07,207 If there's wrap, it ain't crap. 39 00:02:07,972 --> 00:02:08,628 Bingo! 40 00:02:08,653 --> 00:02:09,803 Antique bayonets. 41 00:02:09,856 --> 00:02:13,425 Oh! I'm talking World War One, Spanish American War. 42 00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:15,780 Crimea, baby. 43 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:19,397 Well, if you found the right buyer on the right day, 44 00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:21,996 and he knew nothing about bayonets, 45 00:02:22,019 --> 00:02:24,941 you might sell them for possibly $500. 46 00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:26,579 Definitely $500. 47 00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:27,860 $500! 48 00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,005 Five hundy! 49 00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,962 Five hundaminidos! 50 00:02:30,993 --> 00:02:32,496 (chuckles) 51 00:02:32,514 --> 00:02:34,715 (humming) 52 00:02:34,962 --> 00:02:36,242 High-five me, Marge. 53 00:02:36,276 --> 00:02:38,415 - I want to know what it's for. - Too late. 54 00:02:38,574 --> 00:02:41,609 We're gonna get rich off the poor and forgetful. 55 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,207 And dead people. 56 00:02:46,953 --> 00:02:49,016 I bet I win a locker full of treasure, 57 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:52,750 like a solid gold bar of silver or Picasso's TV. 58 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:53,610 Oh, no, no, no. 59 00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:56,646 It is I who will be watching Picasso's TV tonight! 60 00:02:56,907 --> 00:02:58,596 (both grunting) 61 00:02:58,796 --> 00:03:02,059 Looks like you're not the only predatory opportunist in town. 62 00:03:02,092 --> 00:03:02,652 (gasps) 63 00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:04,210 There's other P.O.'s?! 64 00:03:04,304 --> 00:03:07,052 Uh-oh, better put on my game shades. 65 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,006 Do I hear $50? Let me get $50. 66 00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:16,870 Oh, yeah! 67 00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:18,168 $100. Is there $100 out there? 68 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,569 - Looking for $100. - Thank you! 69 00:03:19,587 --> 00:03:21,343 - $150, $150. - (strums electric guitar) 70 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:22,536 Do I have $200? 71 00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:24,445 - $250. Do I hear... - (yelling grunt) 72 00:03:24,492 --> 00:03:25,616 - $350. - Yarr! 73 00:03:25,644 --> 00:03:27,345 Four. Do I hear $400? 74 00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:28,544 - $450. - Bidding! 75 00:03:28,568 --> 00:03:29,701 - $500. - (plays bagpipes) 76 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,140 - $550. - Skinner! 77 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,963 - $600. - (trumpeting) 78 00:03:32,993 --> 00:03:34,194 $650. 79 00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,270 $650 going once, $650 going twice... 80 00:03:36,288 --> 00:03:39,092 (saxophone playing) 81 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,652 $1,000. 82 00:03:41,677 --> 00:03:43,323 $1,000 going once, going twice. 83 00:03:43,342 --> 00:03:46,730 Sold to the man who didn't wait for the bidding to get anywhere near $1,000! 84 00:03:46,846 --> 00:03:49,750 In the money game, cash is king. 85 00:03:49,818 --> 00:03:51,217 (chuckles) 86 00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:53,685 (harmonica playing bluesy music) 87 00:03:56,051 --> 00:03:59,258 We spent $1,000 on a bunch of old boxes? 88 00:03:59,299 --> 00:04:01,134 You won't be laughing when these boxes 89 00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:03,028 are full of priceless treasures. 90 00:04:03,053 --> 00:04:05,621 I wasn't laughing, I was being worried. 91 00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:06,789 (humming) 92 00:04:08,937 --> 00:04:09,910 Feather boas? 93 00:04:09,947 --> 00:04:11,803 Mine's full of hand mirrors. 94 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,975 I've got perfume spritzers. 95 00:04:14,002 --> 00:04:15,936 Makeup and baby oil. 96 00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:17,556 Tights? Robes? 97 00:04:17,587 --> 00:04:20,854 Oh, this stupid locker must have belonged to some old lady. 98 00:04:20,901 --> 00:04:23,651 "Property of Abraham J. Simpson"? 99 00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:25,654 This is Grampa's stuff. 100 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:28,469 Why would my man-dad have lady stuff? 101 00:04:28,506 --> 00:04:30,568 It's not all lady stuff. 102 00:04:31,315 --> 00:04:35,557 Look at all these fitness publications. 103 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:37,627 Beefcake mags? 104 00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:39,213 (gasps) 105 00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:42,537 I think your dad might be gay. 106 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,482 Oh, that's insane. 107 00:04:44,561 --> 00:04:46,692 My dad was married to a woman 108 00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:50,129 who left him because he ignored her needs for decades. 109 00:04:51,065 --> 00:04:54,530 Ah, my gay dad is gay for gays. 110 00:04:54,568 --> 00:04:56,903 (harmonica playing bluesy music) 111 00:04:58,962 --> 00:05:00,363 (groans) 112 00:05:01,045 --> 00:05:03,194 I think this is great. 113 00:05:03,327 --> 00:05:05,529 Old gay men are adorable. 114 00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:08,559 Like wrinkle dogs in a wrinkle dog calendar. 115 00:05:08,583 --> 00:05:10,450 Those are pretty cute. 116 00:05:10,487 --> 00:05:13,390 Your dad's been in the closet for so long, 117 00:05:13,411 --> 00:05:16,798 he probably doesn't know how tolerant society's become. 118 00:05:16,836 --> 00:05:21,166 They even had a gay float in the Pride Parade last year. 119 00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:23,833 My dad has always been so angry. 120 00:05:24,048 --> 00:05:26,366 Maybe if we help him be who he is, 121 00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:28,280 he'll finally be happy. 122 00:05:28,372 --> 00:05:29,964 Oh, Homie, 123 00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:32,934 you're so enlightened. 124 00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:39,198 Yeah, gay rights are human rights, baby. 125 00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:42,315 (humming) 126 00:05:42,535 --> 00:05:46,093 Are you sure you're not just doing all this because it's cool to be accepting 127 00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:47,693 of a gay family member? 128 00:05:47,743 --> 00:05:49,967 Oh, honey, that's just silly. 129 00:05:50,004 --> 00:05:51,883 This'll show Helen Lovejoy. 130 00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:55,015 Always bragging about her he-she cousin. 131 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:59,112 Abe, we found your storage locker. 132 00:05:59,146 --> 00:06:00,521 It's okay, Dad. 133 00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:02,915 We know the truth, and we love you. 134 00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:03,677 What?! 135 00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:06,888 The contents of that locker are my private business! 136 00:06:06,914 --> 00:06:08,047 Get out! 137 00:06:08,087 --> 00:06:11,581 Just admit who you are, and you can find new love. 138 00:06:11,616 --> 00:06:13,895 If you don't want to die alone, 139 00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:15,787 come out of your room. 140 00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:19,258 (moaning): Love... love... 141 00:06:19,284 --> 00:06:21,328 love... love... 142 00:06:21,359 --> 00:06:22,703 (all gasping) 143 00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:25,037 Hi, Marge. 144 00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:28,198 I was just taking Stanlerina to get her hormone shots. 145 00:06:28,249 --> 00:06:29,416 (groans): Oh. 146 00:06:29,544 --> 00:06:32,035 Your father wasted his whole life being married 147 00:06:32,053 --> 00:06:33,648 to your mother and having you. 148 00:06:33,721 --> 00:06:36,790 We've got to find him a boyfriend before it's too late. 149 00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:39,158 Why don't you put a personal ad on the Internet? 150 00:06:39,189 --> 00:06:41,152 That's how young people date these days. 151 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,934 It's weird that you don't consider yourself a young person. 152 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:44,758 I know. 153 00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:46,366 It's weird to me, too. 154 00:06:46,537 --> 00:06:48,262 "Help me out of the closet. 155 00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:50,886 "Wonderful older man seeks life partner 156 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,241 before rapidly-encroaching death." 157 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,341 No fatties. 158 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,071 How about some fatties? 159 00:06:56,177 --> 00:06:57,079 Fine. 160 00:06:57,104 --> 00:06:58,623 Okay, post this under 161 00:06:58,661 --> 00:07:00,221 "Men Seeking Men." 162 00:07:00,308 --> 00:07:01,521 But what subheading? 163 00:07:01,552 --> 00:07:03,396 Hmm, nothing too serious. 164 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:06,441 Here we go, "Casual Encounters." 165 00:07:06,537 --> 00:07:09,539 Perfect! No pressure. 166 00:07:10,652 --> 00:07:12,510 I hope someone saw our ad. 167 00:07:12,537 --> 00:07:15,179 If I can't find my father a man to kiss and cuddle, 168 00:07:15,198 --> 00:07:17,067 then I've failed as a son. 169 00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:17,834 (gasps) 170 00:07:17,859 --> 00:07:19,309 Someone's coming. 171 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,863 Are you "Wrinkled and Romantic"? 172 00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:25,606 Huh? What the heck are you talking about, Spectacles? 173 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,754 Oh, I've been hung up on someone for years, 174 00:07:27,788 --> 00:07:30,041 but I'm trapped in the friend zone. 175 00:07:30,211 --> 00:07:32,042 (sighs) It's time for me to move on. 176 00:07:32,095 --> 00:07:34,320 So move on. You're blocking the ducks. 177 00:07:34,364 --> 00:07:36,495 Don't you want to be happy, Abe? 178 00:07:36,526 --> 00:07:40,262 Admit who you are, a wonderful gay man. 179 00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:41,870 (stammers) 180 00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:42,840 What?! 181 00:07:42,877 --> 00:07:44,682 I don't ride sidesaddle! 182 00:07:44,716 --> 00:07:46,635 I'm straight as a submarine! 183 00:07:46,695 --> 00:07:48,836 Then how do you explain this? 184 00:07:49,128 --> 00:07:50,280 Oh, hello, Smithers. 185 00:07:50,411 --> 00:07:53,608 (chuckles) Fancy seeing you in Casual Encounter Park. 186 00:07:55,737 --> 00:07:56,363 (gasps) 187 00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:57,920 You're Glamorous Godfrey! 188 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:58,638 Who? 189 00:07:58,655 --> 00:08:02,147 Glamorous Godfrey was the most famous wrestler in the world. 190 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,400 And you are he! 191 00:08:03,463 --> 00:08:05,264 Is this true? 192 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,435 BURNS: Behold. 193 00:08:06,447 --> 00:08:08,166 HOMER: Look at all this wrestling crap. 194 00:08:08,191 --> 00:08:09,729 LISA: Ah. BART: Ay, caramba! 195 00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,500 Fine, I was Glamorous Godfrey. 196 00:08:12,605 --> 00:08:14,740 (sobbing) 197 00:08:14,768 --> 00:08:15,691 What's wrong? 198 00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,512 I so wanted him to be gay. 199 00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:21,922 Well, on V.E. Day, I kissed a man by mistake. 200 00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:23,466 Thank you. 201 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,808 You were a world-famous wrestler? 202 00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,502 Spill the beans, old man. 203 00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:32,667 Word beans! 204 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,914 Oh, all right, I'll tell you. 205 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,049 It was the 1950s. 206 00:08:37,096 --> 00:08:39,197 HOMER (groans): Oh, those things? 207 00:08:39,288 --> 00:08:41,689 GRAMPA: It was the heyday of pro wrestling. 208 00:08:41,704 --> 00:08:44,346 You could make good money if you were the manly mixture 209 00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:47,074 of strong and fat we called beefy. 210 00:08:47,113 --> 00:08:50,303 Good guys were called "baby faces." 211 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,474 And bad guys were called "heels." 212 00:08:53,515 --> 00:08:57,249 I was the king of the heels, Glamorous Godfrey. 213 00:08:57,269 --> 00:08:58,554 How dare he! 214 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,440 That was drinking milk! 215 00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:03,237 GRAMPA: My motto was "Always cheat." 216 00:09:03,265 --> 00:09:04,148 (groans) 217 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:04,999 (groans) 218 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:13,061 But the thing that really drove them crazy was my vanity. 219 00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:16,051 You are the luckiest people in the world. 220 00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:18,216 You get to look at me. 221 00:09:18,281 --> 00:09:19,732 (crowd booing) 222 00:09:22,336 --> 00:09:25,694 Grampa, you were the original bad boy. 223 00:09:25,725 --> 00:09:29,598 Yeah, I was boastful before all your football showboaters, 224 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,264 rap music-ers and TV beach Italians. 225 00:09:32,328 --> 00:09:35,241 But there was a down side to being hated: 226 00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,004 being hated. 227 00:09:37,023 --> 00:09:40,025 (crowd booing) 228 00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:46,385 (crowd booing) 229 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,889 Well, I just couldn't take it. 230 00:09:55,981 --> 00:09:58,838 Being despised was no way to live. 231 00:09:58,974 --> 00:09:59,946 Pshaw! 232 00:09:59,971 --> 00:10:01,152 Pshaw, I say! 233 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:02,753 Pshaw yourself! 234 00:10:02,813 --> 00:10:04,547 - Pshaw! - Pshaw! 235 00:10:04,568 --> 00:10:05,911 Homer, do something! 236 00:10:05,948 --> 00:10:07,688 They're killing each other! 237 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,772 Oh, yeah? (muffled shouting) 238 00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,338 The world may have despised Glamorous Godfrey, 239 00:10:12,363 --> 00:10:15,250 but that conceited mother-puncher was my hero. 240 00:10:16,476 --> 00:10:18,360 Please, Abe, let me buy you dinner 241 00:10:18,378 --> 00:10:20,794 in exchange for a few tales of the golden age 242 00:10:20,813 --> 00:10:22,441 of professional grappling. 243 00:10:22,471 --> 00:10:26,641 Sorry, I been trying to forget those days for 50 years. 244 00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:30,247 But, Grampa, I want to hear about old-time wrestling, too. 245 00:10:30,282 --> 00:10:32,483 Well, it looks like you've made a new fan. 246 00:10:32,513 --> 00:10:35,097 It'd be a shame to let him down, hmm? 247 00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:36,507 Fine. 248 00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:37,831 One dinner. 249 00:10:37,892 --> 00:10:38,830 Excellent. 250 00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:41,061 So we'll take the boy and make a night of it. 251 00:10:41,129 --> 00:10:42,351 I don't know. 252 00:10:42,388 --> 00:10:45,936 Should I really let the men who ruined my past and present 253 00:10:45,955 --> 00:10:48,544 hang out with the kid who's going to ruin my future? 254 00:10:48,601 --> 00:10:51,106 - I'll bring you home my dessert. - Text me the choices. 255 00:10:51,907 --> 00:10:53,644 BURNS: I can't believe I'm on the town 256 00:10:53,669 --> 00:10:55,802 with Glamorous Godfrey himself. 257 00:10:55,839 --> 00:10:59,192 Tell me of your epic battle with Swedish Olaf Johannsen. 258 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:02,722 Oh, yeah, "The Fury of the Fjords." 259 00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:06,043 (shouting in Swedish) 260 00:11:06,188 --> 00:11:08,873 (muffled grunting) 261 00:11:09,428 --> 00:11:10,522 (laughs) 262 00:11:10,584 --> 00:11:12,578 You settled that Swede's meatballs. 263 00:11:13,151 --> 00:11:16,840 What I wouldn't give to see Glamorous Godfrey in action once more. 264 00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:20,013 Would you ever consider throwing your wig back into the ring? 265 00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:22,073 Go back to being a villain? 266 00:11:22,107 --> 00:11:23,474 Oh, forget that. 267 00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:26,277 Being hated is the worst feeling there is. 268 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,178 (chuckles) 269 00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:29,072 You've got it all wrong, my friend. 270 00:11:29,135 --> 00:11:30,451 Once you see it my way, 271 00:11:30,463 --> 00:11:32,894 you'll understand that being hated 272 00:11:32,969 --> 00:11:35,212 is the greatest feeling in the world. 273 00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:38,670 ♪ Don't really care for chasing women ♪ 274 00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,523 ♪ Never was keen on booze 275 00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:43,104 ♪ Don't take cocaine or Mary Jane ♪ 276 00:11:43,132 --> 00:11:45,757 ♪ No, I get drunk on boos... 277 00:11:45,775 --> 00:11:48,890 Uh, that's B-O-O-S, not Z-E as before. 278 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,143 Uh, we get it. 279 00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:51,465 ♪ Because... (grunts) 280 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,056 ♪ You've got to love to be hated ♪ 281 00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:56,373 ♪ Find the good in being bad 282 00:11:56,431 --> 00:11:58,798 ♪ Oh, the crowd is full of gentlemen ♪ 283 00:11:58,816 --> 00:12:01,046 ♪ But they've paid to see the cad ♪ 284 00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:03,345 ♪ Yes, it's a hoot, a kick, a gas ♪ 285 00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:05,565 ♪ When you're the villain of the show ♪ 286 00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:07,821 ♪ Once you wear black, you'll never go back ♪ 287 00:12:07,842 --> 00:12:10,971 ♪ It's a high to be loathed 288 00:12:13,089 --> 00:12:15,357 ♪ Chucky, Stalin, Megatron 289 00:12:15,384 --> 00:12:17,552 ♪ Eric Cartman, Donkey Kong 290 00:12:17,581 --> 00:12:19,682 ♪ Vader, Nader, Simon Legree 291 00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:21,790 ♪ Terminators, one, two and three ♪ 292 00:12:21,802 --> 00:12:24,168 ♪ Iago, Joker, Voldemort 293 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,435 ♪ McEnroe on center court 294 00:12:26,469 --> 00:12:28,746 ♪ Mr. Burns and Skeletor 295 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,754 ♪ Keep your good guys, what a snore ♪ 296 00:12:31,775 --> 00:12:35,312 ♪ When it's your head they wanna sever ♪ 297 00:12:35,345 --> 00:12:37,756 ♪ And your blood they wanna shed ♪ 298 00:12:37,802 --> 00:12:39,922 ♪ You know you're gonna live forever ♪ 299 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,213 ♪ If everybody wants you dead 300 00:12:42,237 --> 00:12:44,164 ♪ So listen up, because I'm giving ♪ 301 00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,416 ♪ The best advice you'll ever know ♪ 302 00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:47,993 ♪ So feel the thrill 303 00:12:47,999 --> 00:12:49,586 ♪ I know you will 304 00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:52,003 ♪ It's a high to be 305 00:12:52,176 --> 00:12:54,894 ♪ Loa... 306 00:12:54,972 --> 00:12:56,622 ♪ ...thed! 307 00:12:56,714 --> 00:12:59,133 I'll feel like I'll live forever 308 00:12:59,173 --> 00:13:01,994 as long as everybody wants me dead. 309 00:13:02,043 --> 00:13:03,207 Okay, Burns! 310 00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:06,235 Glamorous Godfrey will wrestle again! 311 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:07,427 (all gasp) 312 00:13:07,672 --> 00:13:11,149 That cocaine I ordered is taking forever! 313 00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:17,886 (indistinct chatter) 314 00:13:18,343 --> 00:13:20,370 I can't wait to see Grampa kick some ass. 315 00:13:20,389 --> 00:13:23,577 He's always pretended to be boring, but he's really a straight-up psycho. 316 00:13:23,631 --> 00:13:26,451 Your grandfather is not psycho. 317 00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:29,679 The only thing he's "straight-up" is loves you. 318 00:13:29,782 --> 00:13:32,643 Gorilla Joe, Gorilla Sam, Gorilla Pete, 319 00:13:32,661 --> 00:13:34,584 Ook and Eek, the Gorilla Twins. 320 00:13:34,618 --> 00:13:37,256 Where did Mr. Burns dig up all these old wrestlers? 321 00:13:37,298 --> 00:13:39,136 Apparently, old folks homes 322 00:13:39,174 --> 00:13:41,328 are full of people that used to be things. 323 00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:43,687 Just like you and me. Swear to God. 324 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,268 Welcome, aficionados of the roped ring, 325 00:13:46,297 --> 00:13:48,960 to a thrilling night of senior-on-senior action. 326 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:51,439 (grunting) (snoring) 327 00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:53,313 (grunting grows weaker) 328 00:13:53,509 --> 00:13:55,652 (both snoring) 329 00:13:55,905 --> 00:13:57,706 (all snoring) 330 00:13:57,740 --> 00:13:59,017 (crowd cheering) 331 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,359 Folding chairs! Folding chairs! 332 00:14:01,384 --> 00:14:03,218 Can't hit somebody when they're not looking 333 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:04,664 without a folding chair! 334 00:14:04,692 --> 00:14:06,456 - Can I have one? Can I? - Fine. 335 00:14:06,482 --> 00:14:07,749 Ha! 336 00:14:07,789 --> 00:14:09,774 And now our main event. 337 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,630 In this corner, Baby Face Palooka. 338 00:14:12,697 --> 00:14:13,930 And entering the ring, 339 00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:16,872 America's original vainglorious bastard, 340 00:14:16,883 --> 00:14:18,397 Glamorous Godfrey! 341 00:14:18,436 --> 00:14:19,903 (crowd booing) 342 00:14:19,937 --> 00:14:22,088 (baroque orchestral music playing) 343 00:14:23,958 --> 00:14:26,076 (booing continues) 344 00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,591 (quietly): Yes, feel the hatred. 345 00:14:29,623 --> 00:14:32,969 It makes you strong, powerful, alive. 346 00:14:33,025 --> 00:14:36,568 You are the luckiest people in the world! 347 00:14:36,636 --> 00:14:38,604 You get to look at me! 348 00:14:38,682 --> 00:14:40,911 (booing continues) 349 00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:42,892 (crowd coughing) 350 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,574 (crowd booing) 351 00:14:44,636 --> 00:14:45,925 You show 'em, Godfrey! 352 00:14:45,956 --> 00:14:47,991 You're the prettiest old man in the world! 353 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,552 Why do you think bad guys are so cool? 354 00:14:50,558 --> 00:14:52,471 Why do you still have a thing for Nelson? 355 00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,439 I'm not! That's ridiculous! 356 00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:56,681 I just... it's that... he, uh... 357 00:14:56,728 --> 00:14:59,173 He's a rebel, and only I can change him! 358 00:14:59,277 --> 00:15:00,176 (clang) 359 00:15:00,211 --> 00:15:02,228 (crowd clamoring, booing) 360 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,487 (crowd shouting) 361 00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:15,976 (booing) 362 00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:21,931 It's so sad that Grampa has to cheat 363 00:15:21,966 --> 00:15:25,211 instead of relying on his God-given wrestling skills. 364 00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:28,240 What kind of person revels in disapproval? 365 00:15:28,367 --> 00:15:31,676 What kind of person, indeed. 366 00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:36,016 (baroque orchestral music playing) 367 00:15:36,050 --> 00:15:40,071 MILHOUSE: It's the prettiest boy in Springfield, Bart Simpson! 368 00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:42,160 (indistinct chatter) What's going on? 369 00:15:46,108 --> 00:15:48,221 You are the luckiest people in the world! 370 00:15:48,229 --> 00:15:49,630 You get to look at me! 371 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,550 (crowd booing) 372 00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:55,218 Hey! (grunts) 373 00:15:55,235 --> 00:15:56,969 (humming) 374 00:15:57,253 --> 00:15:58,328 (coughs) 375 00:15:58,452 --> 00:15:59,619 (booing continues) 376 00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:02,207 Hey, Simpson, tell your kid to quit showboating. 377 00:16:02,244 --> 00:16:05,822 I've never seen anyone so full of self-regard! 378 00:16:05,850 --> 00:16:08,664 And I've worked with Bob Balaban! 379 00:16:08,689 --> 00:16:11,057 (booing continues) 380 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:18,151 Your behavior at that game was unacceptable! 381 00:16:18,209 --> 00:16:20,960 You're lucky they gave you your participant trophy! 382 00:16:20,994 --> 00:16:23,328 I got one just for watching the game. 383 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:28,129 Listen, getting people riled up is what heels do. 384 00:16:28,149 --> 00:16:29,749 Heel? Oh, no. 385 00:16:29,784 --> 00:16:32,115 Tell me you're not trying to be like Grampa! 386 00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,234 Well, sure I am. 387 00:16:33,254 --> 00:16:36,582 I always thought Grampa was lame, but he's really awesome! 388 00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:39,147 Your grandfather is super lame! 389 00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:41,749 I mean, if he wasn't a terrible father, 390 00:16:41,774 --> 00:16:43,543 what's my excuse for this? 391 00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:45,046 (grunting) 392 00:16:47,025 --> 00:16:49,744 I know your grandpa seems exciting now, 393 00:16:49,757 --> 00:16:52,281 but all that preening and cheating-- 394 00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:56,146 those turnbuckle antics are not gonna make him happy. 395 00:16:56,638 --> 00:16:57,839 (Grampa and Burns sigh) 396 00:16:58,329 --> 00:17:00,703 Burnsy, I can't remember the last time 397 00:17:00,722 --> 00:17:02,531 I was so happy! 398 00:17:03,517 --> 00:17:05,485 You grandson- ruining fiend! 399 00:17:05,519 --> 00:17:07,873 Look what your number one fan 400 00:17:07,891 --> 00:17:09,492 did at show-and-tell! 401 00:17:10,036 --> 00:17:12,030 - ROBOTIC VOICE: Wait. Ow. - (Bart giggling) 402 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,861 Ah. Wait. 403 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,067 Who would film such a thing? 404 00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:17,486 It's found footage! 405 00:17:17,531 --> 00:17:20,509 So what? We could use another winner in this family! 406 00:17:20,552 --> 00:17:21,853 How are you a winner? 407 00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:23,736 You're cheating in a fake sport. 408 00:17:23,766 --> 00:17:25,299 Fake? Ridiculous. 409 00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:27,141 If professional wrestling were fake, 410 00:17:27,197 --> 00:17:29,689 that would make every fan in the history of the sport 411 00:17:29,711 --> 00:17:32,146 a complete and utter moron. 412 00:17:34,008 --> 00:17:35,070 Mercy. 413 00:17:35,245 --> 00:17:38,280 You know, I've always had a keen eye for tiny talent. 414 00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:40,572 Perhaps you and the lad could tag-team up. 415 00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:42,096 Wrestle with Bart? 416 00:17:42,131 --> 00:17:45,039 Well, he ain't beefy, but he is infuriating, 417 00:17:45,045 --> 00:17:46,912 and you can't teach infuriating. 418 00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:49,034 Monty, you're a genius! 419 00:17:49,156 --> 00:17:51,686 Bart cannot be an old-time wrestler! 420 00:17:51,711 --> 00:17:55,719 As your inattentive son, and your incompetent employee, 421 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:56,986 I forbid it! 422 00:17:57,933 --> 00:18:01,358 Oh, why does everything I forbid always happen? 423 00:18:01,383 --> 00:18:02,716 (grunts) 424 00:18:07,082 --> 00:18:09,021 (indistinct chatter) 425 00:18:09,358 --> 00:18:12,152 So, Beautiful, you got your moves memorized? 426 00:18:12,223 --> 00:18:13,740 You know it, Glamorous! 427 00:18:13,779 --> 00:18:15,691 Eye gouge! Ear bite! Folding chair! 428 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,591 Hair pull! Face-fart! Flying face-fart! 429 00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:19,527 And then I start fighting dirty. 430 00:18:19,545 --> 00:18:20,678 (laughs) 431 00:18:20,828 --> 00:18:23,182 They're gonna hate you so much. 432 00:18:23,957 --> 00:18:25,338 Oh, I get it. 433 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:29,105 You're here to tell the kid he can't wrestle with his grandpa. 434 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,296 (grunting) 435 00:18:31,382 --> 00:18:33,835 I don't care if Bart is a wrestler, 436 00:18:33,878 --> 00:18:38,082 a busboy, or even a stoplight squeegee man, 437 00:18:38,147 --> 00:18:40,693 as long as he's a nice person. 438 00:18:40,749 --> 00:18:43,773 But if he gets too much attention for acting bad, 439 00:18:43,841 --> 00:18:46,663 he might turn bad on the inside. 440 00:18:46,735 --> 00:18:48,513 Eh, that's women-talk. 441 00:18:48,563 --> 00:18:52,311 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to comb out my curls! 442 00:18:52,445 --> 00:18:55,710 One... two... three... 443 00:18:55,766 --> 00:18:58,601 (crowd cheering in distance) 444 00:18:58,743 --> 00:19:01,948 Beautiful Bart, can I have your autograph? 445 00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:03,649 Sure. Here you go. 446 00:19:03,696 --> 00:19:05,364 (hawks, spits) 447 00:19:05,398 --> 00:19:07,299 (laughs) 448 00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,867 Eh, hey, Bart, 449 00:19:08,902 --> 00:19:11,386 leave some of that bad attitude for the ring. 450 00:19:11,423 --> 00:19:13,791 The world is my ring now. 451 00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:15,172 (laughing manically) 452 00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:21,411 In this corner, for truth and justice, 453 00:19:21,448 --> 00:19:23,422 Captain Flag and Half-Mast. 454 00:19:23,483 --> 00:19:25,283 (crowd cheering) 455 00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:28,902 Now entering the ring, the first family of foul play, 456 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,576 Glamorous Godfrey and Beautiful Bart! 457 00:19:31,595 --> 00:19:33,514 (crowd booing) 458 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:34,570 (sniffing) 459 00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,382 You all stink! 460 00:19:37,246 --> 00:19:39,214 (crowd shouting) 461 00:19:42,954 --> 00:19:45,195 Glamorous Godfrey is dead! 462 00:19:45,246 --> 00:19:46,188 (all gasp) 463 00:19:47,337 --> 00:19:49,055 (crowd murmuring) 464 00:19:49,182 --> 00:19:51,486 I am Honest Abe! 465 00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:52,992 (all gasp) 466 00:19:55,204 --> 00:19:58,273 And this is Laddie Liberty! 467 00:19:58,305 --> 00:19:59,949 What are you doing? 468 00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:02,403 I ain't a heel no more, I'm a good guy. 469 00:20:02,422 --> 00:20:03,572 And you're a baby-face. 470 00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:05,163 But-but what about the cheating? 471 00:20:05,176 --> 00:20:06,244 No more cheating. 472 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,504 - And the preening? - No more preening. 473 00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:09,747 But I'm so pretty. 474 00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:12,362 That's for others to say now. 475 00:20:12,387 --> 00:20:13,757 What are you doing, Godfrey? 476 00:20:13,816 --> 00:20:17,114 You're a villain, not some bullet-brained rail-splitter. 477 00:20:17,138 --> 00:20:19,989 Without someone to hate, there's no excitement, no thrill. 478 00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:22,696 I don't care. My grandson's soul is at stake. 479 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,573 How dare you. I wrote a song for you. 480 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,461 When am I ever going to use that again? 481 00:20:27,485 --> 00:20:30,876 Curse you, and this morbidly obese little half-wit. 482 00:20:32,596 --> 00:20:35,292 So, they only want to see a good guy 483 00:20:35,311 --> 00:20:37,059 fight a bad guy, eh? 484 00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:38,045 (gasps) 485 00:20:38,064 --> 00:20:40,621 Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa... 486 00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:42,275 (crowd gasps) 487 00:20:42,512 --> 00:20:44,802 He's taking on Mean Man Monty! 488 00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:46,283 Go get him, Honest Abe! 489 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:48,392 This is why we go to everything in this town-- 490 00:20:48,459 --> 00:20:50,020 it always pays off. 491 00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:52,756 (gasps) 492 00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:54,485 Honest Abe, can I pin him? 493 00:20:54,525 --> 00:20:57,465 Ha-ha! You know it, Laddie Liberty! 494 00:20:58,581 --> 00:21:00,082 (grunting) 495 00:21:01,987 --> 00:21:04,288 (crowd cheering) 496 00:21:05,756 --> 00:21:08,051 Damndest boos I ever heard. 497 00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:09,738 They're cheering, Grampa. 498 00:21:09,757 --> 00:21:12,893 This is what I've been missing my whole life. 499 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,907 (cheering continues) 500 00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:17,542 Oh, that was so sweet. 501 00:21:17,613 --> 00:21:18,413 (sobbing softly) 502 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,027 I wish Grampa was my dad. 503 00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:26,090 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 504 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:11,508 Shh!