Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru.
Now unbeknownst to Mama Cass,
the sandwich
had lodged in her oesophagus.
CUTTING OFF... the very lifeline to her brain...
that is oxygen.
She teetered
on the edge
of the dark
abyss of eternity,
gulped,
and plunged screaming
into the void of nonexistence.
She lay on the floor...
DEAD!
A rictus grin of agony
slashed across her face.
The hooded figure
of the Grim Reaper,
his blood dripping scythe...
Right, I think I'll stop you there.
Thank you very much to Joshua for bringing your grandad...
Don't call me grandad.
It's an old fashioned, outmoded concept.
Call me Floyd.
I don't suppose there's anything to eat?
It's Tuesday.
You know I've got my meeting.
At least you'll get a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Floyd. What?
You're looking well
What is it?
Can we have a word?
Yeah.
Just doing a bit of husbandry.
What's the problem with Dr Mengele?
He works in palliative care, Dad.
Floyd? Yeah
In the last six months
our electricity bill has increased by seventy five per cent.
Really?
Tanning salons have bills lower than this.
Have you checked the meter reading?
We know what you're growing in your wardrobe, Floyd.
Take your tomato plants somewhere else, please.
OK, OK...
Well, it's the first time I've been busted in me slippers.
Jack has patients with terminal stage leukaemia
on less medication than you.
Can I say one thing?
Go on.
I'm wrong about the slippers.
Chelsea Hotel, New York, 1979.
Anyway, you know what to do, Floyd...
Let's try and move forward shall we?
Are you going to eat with us later?
I don't think so.
I don't... think I've ever seen your dad eat.
You're very keen to go to this festival aren't you, darling?
Mum. I'll be fine. I'm going with Kate and her sister
and she's 19.
Nineteen!
What could possibly go wrong?
Floyd says...
Don't worry about Floyd.
Thanks to him, I was that close to being called Earth Child.
It's not funny
You never told me that.
Because of that man I shared a cot with Alice Cooper's python.
Eurgh!
Because of that man when I was eight my imaginary friend was Ronnie Wood.
The thing is, darling,
we're just not sure you should still go to this festival...
I'll be fine.
Grandad?
Don't call me grandad.
What you doing?
Much better.
That's what a fridge should look like.
Surrey?
Detached? Four acres?
Kent?!
Coach house? With Orchard?
Godal-fucking-ming?
Dear, oh dear.
Moving to Surrey is like moving to 1958.
And I'm not changing schools.
We're just looking.
I'll tell you a story about the countryside.
Friend of mine - guitarist,
quite happy in Maida Vale,
and more importantly alive,
he moved to the country.
His name was Brian Jones.
I think you know the rest.
Not warm is it?
You haven't forgotten you're looking
after Josh during the ballet display have you?
Yes.
It's me.
Cool.
Yeah, I'll see you in ten.
You bored yet?
I'm all giddy! Giddy!
Yeah it's great, innit?
I have my British citizenship test on Thursday.
Test me.
Who owns the swans on the River Thames?
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth ...the second.
Where would you eat larva bread?
Wales.
Who replaced Jeff Beck as lead guitar with the Yardbirds?
Jeff, er... Becks...
I'm joking.
One more.
What's the second verse of the National Anthem?
The non-PC one.
♪ O Lord our God arise
♪ Scatter her enemies
♪ And make them fall.
♪ Confound their politics
♪ Frustrate their knavish tricks
♪ On thee our hopes we fix
♪ God save the Queen. ♪
Very good.
You've had a delivery.
Have I? Don't worry. I had to sign for these.
There's seven of them. Seven.
That's just A to M.
From Allman Brothers to Marillion, can't wait.
Happy days.
See this.
That was his first album.
Fucking classic this.
What's up you had a bad day?
Bit crowded in the departure lounge was it?
Floyd, the day you're called to the gate,
I'll be happy to carry your duty free.
I was their tour manager in 1974.
It was like being a nanny...
only with slightly more nappies.
Knebworth...
now that was a festival.
Urgh.
Don't talk to me about festivals.
Jessica texted me nine times today about that thing she wants to go to.
You should let the girl go.
What's the worst that could happen to her?
Kate's big sister is very responsible.
Drink? Good idea.
Floyd.
It's four o'clock in the afternoon.
So?
You do realise that you're killing yourself, don't you?
You say that to all your patients.
What does that tattoo mean?
It's Latin...
for "Blow Jobs Don't Count".
What happened to the fridge?
Hello?
Been busy have we?
Thank you.
Air horns, spray cans and fireworks are not allowed.
So, if you got any, you keep 'em well concealed.
Floyd?
"Only bring what you can afford to lose".
It says that on the website too.
"What you can afford to lose." Like your sanity.
Stop it.
Listen, she'll be absolutely fine.
Trust me, there's a responsible adult there to keep an eye on her.
The responsible adult is only 19.
Not doodah's sister. Me. I'm going.
You're going?
Of course I'm going!
Bring it on.
Responsible adult?
Oh, leave it out. Right there we go.
Now listen, you take those. Come on.
That's going
Oh for God sake
Hurry up, Floyd.
Hold on, I'm coming.
Come on, "lets rock!" Come on!
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