1
00:00:00,181 --> 00:00:01,981
Previously
on Californication...
2
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:03,736
It's time, Becca,
time you stopped
3
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:05,204
this funny business
and went back to school.
4
00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:06,739
No, I'm not doing that.
5
00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:07,873
There's a lot more,
little missy,
6
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:09,241
to being an artist
7
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,809
than just altering
your consciousness
8
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,844
on a daily basis.
9
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:12,978
Which is why I'm writing.
10
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,146
How many pages you got?
11
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,214
I'm closing in
on three hundy.
12
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:16,482
I hate you.
13
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,983
If I'm gonna do this thing,
14
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,052
get me the guy
who wrote the fucking book.
15
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,388
- Do what?
- God hates us all.
16
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:24,089
I fucking loved it, man.
17
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,058
They're turning it
into a Broadway musical.
18
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,494
You write the script,
I write the music and lyrics.
19
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,095
Let's make
a fucking masterpiece.
20
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:31,296
Congratulations.
21
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:34,933
You have made it
to the next round.
22
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,302
I'll give you one of daddy's
long, slow tongue baths.
23
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,339
Men are the enemy.
24
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,908
I advocate the use
of a cock cage.
25
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,110
Ophelia's gonna be
so pissed at me.
26
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,746
We have sex
for the first time in years,
27
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,015
and this is the first thing
to cross your mind?
28
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,418
So how was
the fucking fun zone?
29
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,719
There was this one mom--
30
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:55,821
- Did you do something with her?
- No!
31
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,357
I'd know that bent
fucking chode anywhere.
32
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,694
- Is that what I think it is?
- Sure is.
33
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,230
Would you mind
taking a look?
34
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,699
Of course.
I'd be honored.
35
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,958
What are you doing?
I'm studying your face.
36
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:36,129
For the truth.
37
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:38,898
You hate it.
38
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,099
That's not true.
39
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,334
Why would you say that?
40
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,535
No.
No, no, no.
41
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,237
I can see it
on your face.
42
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,905
Have you met me, Becca?
I could be hating
43
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,073
on a million other things
right now.
44
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,376
Wow.
Thanks.
45
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,744
Is it perfect?
46
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,680
No, it's not,
47
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,349
but first drafts
rarely are, sweetheart.
48
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,751
Okay.
So what are your notes?
49
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,055
Okay, this
is what I would do.
50
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,057
I would take this draft,
and I would put it in a drawer--
51
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,125
it doesn't have
to be a real drawer,
52
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,894
it could be
a virtual drawer--
53
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,396
and then go out tonight
and celebrate its birth.
54
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,066
You know, hoist
an alcoholic beverage or two.
55
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,267
I will join you.
56
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,735
And then, in the morning,
57
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:16,970
you shut that drawer
and forget about it.
58
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,473
And then you start
on the next one.
59
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,775
- The next one?
- Yeah.
60
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,878
Well, what kind
of note is that?
61
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,681
A big one?
62
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,585
- So it's a disaster.
- No, I didn't--
63
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:36,122
no, not at all.
Not at all.
64
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,157
You don't even think
I'm a writer, do you?
65
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:41,661
I think you're a writer
if you keep on writing, Becca.
66
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,596
Am I a writer?
67
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:46,232
Well, I know that, when I saw
you read your pages here
68
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:49,102
in the coffeehouse, I was--
I was proud of you.
69
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,303
You saw me?
70
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,972
Yeah.
Yeah, I snuck in
71
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,974
and then out again unseen.
72
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,643
I asked you
not to come.
73
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,311
I know,
but you didn't really mean it.
74
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,246
Yes, I did.
75
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:04,250
Well, aren't you secretly
touched that I cared enough
76
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:08,621
to disobey
your wishes?
77
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,257
Thanks for the destructive
criticism, Dad.
78
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,426
To be continued,
sweetheart.
79
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:16,829
One page at a time.
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00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,335
I'm an asshole.
81
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:29,406
♪ Elementary 6x08 ♪
Everybody's a Fucking Critic
Original Air Date on March 10, 2013
82
00:03:29,431 --> 00:03:34,431
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
83
00:04:15,613 --> 00:04:18,372
Ow.
84
00:04:18,373 --> 00:04:19,906
Hey.
Hi, Charlie.
85
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,894
What's up?
86
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,429
How come you haven't been
returning my calls,
87
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,465
my texts?
Yeah, well, I think
88
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,867
that I really took
a major step backward,
89
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,836
and I disrespected
my sheness.
90
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,170
Your wait.
Whoa, whoa, your what?
91
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:33,906
I don't--
your--your "sheness"?
92
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,576
I-I don't know
what the fuck that is.
93
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,745
Is this--is this about
the Housewife Hannah thing?
94
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,446
Because I'm sorry,
95
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,349
but come on, you've been
to the fun zone, right?
96
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,351
I mean, if somebody,
you know, offered you
97
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,120
an ice cream cone in hell,
wouldn't you take it?
98
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,389
You know you would.
99
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,923
You know what I'm saying?
100
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,459
Wow. His pictures
don't do him justice.
101
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,462
- Oh, thank you.
- What a worm.
102
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,030
I'm sorry?
103
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,932
Yeah, you should be,
you fucking creep.
104
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,201
Okay, who is she,
105
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,137
and why is she being
so mean to me?
106
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,139
Well, this
is Ophelia Robins.
107
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:09,041
Oh, this is Ophelia,
the author.
108
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:12,178
I'm--
hey, congratulations.
109
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:15,214
'Cause you've really created
quite a cult for yourself
110
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,682
with those books
out there, right?
111
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,252
I'm Charlie Runkle,
formerly of UTK.
112
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,987
Very nice to meet you.
113
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:24,757
How dare you offer me
that diseased appendage?
114
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,126
She's very hostile.
115
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:33,266
Well, I just--I can't see you
anymore, Charlie.
116
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,600
- Why?
- Why?
117
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,836
You've disrespected
this woman
118
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,438
time and time again.
119
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,006
You've had your chance.
You blew it.
120
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,008
Go away.
Okay, wait.
121
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,342
I don't know who the fuck
you are, lady, okay,
122
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,977
but you have no business
123
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,512
telling me what to do--
how dare you raise
124
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,114
your voice to me?
Uhoh.
125
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,615
And I bet you're probably
one of those guys
126
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,150
who likes to raise his hand
to women too.
127
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,952
No!
128
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,787
I mean,
unless she wants it.
129
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,155
'Cause, you know,
there are some women
130
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,657
who sometimes want to be,
you know,
131
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,692
a little light slapping
now and again.
132
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,828
Some even like to have
their breasts slapped
133
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,663
a little bit--
ugh, God, he's even more
134
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,198
of a monster
than I ever imagined, Marcy.
135
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,766
Let's go.
Even you asked one time.
136
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,000
- Don't!
- You asked me to!
137
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,169
Marcy! Marcy!
138
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,505
I'll call you.
139
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:17,109
Je-sus.
140
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,513
I have to schedule
the deprogramming.
141
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,618
How's the next Broadway smash
coming, buddy?
142
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,887
Is it whiskey, weed,
and Zevon time yet?
143
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,523
Almost.
Just hold your bald horses.
144
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,191
You're way past deadline,
you know?
145
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,494
Stu and Atticus were expecting
a draft weeks ago.
146
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,896
Yes, I'm well aware,
but I've been busy,
147
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,030
you know,
putting 'em off.
148
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,165
You're not helping.
149
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,766
Sorry.
150
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,236
Jeez.
151
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,541
How do you feel about it?
Is it any good?
152
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,142
How the fuck
should I know?
153
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,844
I do like writing musicals,
though.
154
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,145
You just write a few pages,
and then somebody
155
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,580
suddenly breaks into song,
156
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,382
and I don't have
to worry about that part.
157
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,917
Winning!
158
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,819
I love musicals.
159
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:00,853
Really?
160
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,421
Since when?
161
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,357
High school production
of Guys and Dolls.
162
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,692
The time of my young life.
163
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,362
I fingered a girl
for the first time
164
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:10,663
at the opening night party.
Ooh.
165
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,832
She was incredibly dry,
Hank.
166
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,434
I think
I was hurting her.
167
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,836
She cried.
168
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,738
Oh.
169
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,941
Nothing like a sweet, little
Chuck Runkle coming-of-age story
170
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,377
to make you want
to stab yourself in the dick.
171
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:25,778
Done.
Hit it!
172
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:29,115
Whoohoo-hoo!
173
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,351
Where's my weed?
174
00:07:32,386 --> 00:07:34,020
- We're out.
- Well, you can't
175
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,222
really have whiskey, weed,
and Warren Zevon
176
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,324
without the weed.
177
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,759
I know.
178
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,394
I'll pick some up
on the way back.
179
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,262
I'm making copies,
and I'm hand-delivering
180
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,398
to Atticus and Stu.
181
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:46,532
Yeah,
because that's just the kind
182
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,834
of simple-minded lackey
you are.
183
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,403
Oh, oh, Hank?
184
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,805
Karen is here,
and she does not look happy.
185
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,373
Mm, what else is new?
186
00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,642
Hey.
187
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,544
Peace out, bitches.
188
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,414
What did you say to her?
189
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:02,915
What did she say I said?
190
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,318
She said that you said
it was a piece of shit
191
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,820
and that she should throw it out
and start again.
192
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,088
That is not
what I said...
193
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,489
Exactly.
194
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,724
Why would you do that?
195
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,492
Why would you be
so blunt?
196
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,061
Why do you want
to hurt her feelings?
197
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,562
I didn't want to.
I didn't mean to.
198
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,897
She kind of ambushed me.
199
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,131
And she does need
to throw that out
200
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,800
and start again.
201
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,668
It's a good lesson
for a young scribe.
202
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,270
You know, get all the bad shit
out of your system.
203
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,238
She's way ahead of where I was
at that age.
204
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,474
Oh, okay, good.
So did you tell her that?
205
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,942
No, I didn't get
a chance.
206
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,844
She stormed off
into a silent treatment.
207
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,046
Just like her mom.
She gets that from you.
208
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,915
Very effective.
Works every time.
209
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,483
She stormed off
210
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,185
because you don't know
how to talk to her.
211
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,987
I think I know how to talk
to my own daughter, Karen.
212
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,688
I don't think you do,
because if you did,
213
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,491
she wouldn't be
so depressed right now.
214
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,860
She's talking
about going to law school.
215
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,629
Really?
Awesome.
216
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,697
- That's awesome?
- Yeah.
217
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,799
Because if I can talk her
out of being a writer,
218
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,201
then she shouldn't be
a writer.
219
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,335
Oh, why?
Because there's only room
220
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,970
for one writer
in this family?
221
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,940
- Aww, you called us a family.
- Shut up.
222
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,875
No, because people
who aren't writers
223
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,543
should not be writers,
Karen.
224
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,446
Does that make any sense?
I can understand that.
225
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:10,016
What I don't understand
is how you can be so harsh
226
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,817
and so mean
to someone you love.
227
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,419
You could save that shit
228
00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:15,688
for when you have to go back
to teaching.
229
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,990
Ooh, who's being mean
and harsh now?
230
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:21,494
There it is!
Storm off into silent treatment!
231
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,166
Must be me.
232
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,905
♪
233
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:41,914
Say, have you met
this Ophelia character?
234
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:44,350
Oh, she is
a fucking fruitcake.
235
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,185
I know.
She slapped me.
236
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,486
Oh, you think
that's bad?
237
00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:49,355
She had me
in a fucking cock cage.
238
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,424
What is a cock cage?
239
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,993
It traps your penis
in its flaccid sta--
240
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,928
Ladies, enough
of your jibber-jabber.
241
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,396
You haven't said anything
about the script.
242
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,366
Have you even read it?
243
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,901
I have.
244
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,669
Okay.
What'd you think?
245
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:07,840
It...
was...
246
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,442
very you.
247
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,610
What the fuck
does that mean?
248
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,345
It's a little dark,
Hank.
249
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,414
Dark is what I do.
That's what you hired me for.
250
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,216
It's a Broadway musical,
Hank.
251
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,251
It's a rock opera,
and it's true to the book,
252
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,054
which is
what Atticus wanted.
253
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:25,891
Thank you for coming,
everybody.
254
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,026
Unfortunately, I have
to go in a moment.
255
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,594
I'm flying to London
256
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:32,064
to sit down with Eddie Nero
and sir Bob Geldoff.
257
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:35,301
We're talking about doing this
global relief concert thing.
258
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,635
It's, you know--
259
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,137
speaking of relief,
260
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,040
this is
a fucking disaster.
261
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,709
- What?
- It's shit, Hank.
262
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,578
It's a fucking shambles.
263
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,580
It's--
264
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,914
it's bollocks.
265
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,449
Um, I agree.
266
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:53,786
Hank, I'm sorry.
It needs work.
267
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,755
Yeah,
we're really gonna have
268
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,289
to roll up our sleeves
on this one.
269
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,891
What the fuck
are you guys talking about?
270
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,893
It's a rock opera
with the tone of my book.
271
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,461
That's what you wanted.
272
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,130
I don't even like
the fucking book.
273
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,565
You said
you loved it.
274
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,301
Remember?
On your flying whorehouse?
275
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,903
Yeah, I remember,
but when I said that,
276
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,972
I hadn't read it.
So you lied?
277
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,473
I wouldn't look at it
like that.
278
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:15,608
I liked the title.
279
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:16,642
It was quite striking.
280
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,277
Titles mean a lot to me,
281
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,079
but when I got around
to reading the fucking book,
282
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,248
oh, my God,
it's so depressing.
283
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,918
It's like it's Dickensian
but not in a good way.
284
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,920
The working classes
want to leave
285
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:31,190
a Broadway theater
feeling the way they feel
286
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,625
when they leave
one of my concerts.
287
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,994
- With tinnitus?
- Happy, uplifted, inspired,
288
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,495
preferably
a little bit horny.
289
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,164
Yeah, well,
that's very funny
290
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,951
'cause I'm not feeling
very horny right now.
291
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,867
Just homicidal maybe.
292
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,370
Hank, we're gonna need you
to burn this draft,
293
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,605
just forget
all about it.
294
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,643
Chalk it up
to a creative miscarriage.
295
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:53,512
But when you
get up tomorrow,
296
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,214
you take a fresh page,
297
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,216
you put it
in your typer,
298
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,351
and you start
a new one,
299
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:04,390
one that hues closer
to the tone of the movie.
300
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,993
Can you do that?
301
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,596
Otherwise, Aaron Sorkin
has expressed interest
302
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,298
in working with Atticus.
303
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,666
I hear he's quite good,
isn't he?
304
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,267
He's the best
in the business.
305
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,069
Just ask him.
306
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,904
And he is a big admirer
of your work.
307
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,539
As I am of his.
308
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,508
This is bullshit.
309
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,076
You know why, Hank?
310
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,346
No, why?
311
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,316
Because you can't handle
the truth!
312
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,354
That's so good.
313
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:49,034
♪
314
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,004
You think Hank'll be able
to pull a decent draft
315
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,039
out of his ass?
Sure, sure.
316
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,675
Look, it's just--
it's his process, Stu, okay?
317
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:58,210
He brings in
something underwhelming,
318
00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,778
and then he knocks it
out of the park.
319
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,280
It's a classic bait-and-switch,
that's all.
320
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,115
Right, right.
321
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,750
And when has he ever
done that exactly?
322
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,619
You know what?
Enough about Hank.
323
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,120
Look, I got
a confession to make.
324
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,889
Look, look, Runkle,
I know you are broke.
325
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,457
I'm not going to lend you
any money.
326
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,293
Don't be a fucking beggar.
It's unbecoming.
327
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,462
I don't want
your fucking money, Stu.
328
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,731
Oh, okay.
Cool.
329
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,867
What is it then?
330
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,269
I slept with Marcy
the other night.
331
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,772
You did?
332
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,607
You fucking dog.
333
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,775
Now I am jealous.
334
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,344
Well, good for you, bro.
Up high.
335
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,914
I'm still in love
with her, Stu.
336
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,750
- Me too.
- So what are we gonna do?
337
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,852
Well, I don't know
what you're going to do,
338
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,954
but I am prepared
to write you a check
339
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,823
right this very instant.
What?
340
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,191
You just said
you would never give me--
341
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,327
I will not lend you
a fucking dime,
342
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,796
but I will pay you
not to pursue Marcy any longer.
343
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,765
So how much you want?
344
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:55,567
Give me a number.
345
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,804
I don't want your--
346
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,172
how much are you
willing to pay?
347
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,808
I would sign over
my entire fortune
348
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,576
if it meant I could have
that sweet and sour
349
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:09,648
little firecracker
back in my life.
350
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,951
Seriously?
351
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,686
This is crazy, Stu.
352
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,988
No, no, no.
It ain't over till it's over.
353
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,323
May the best man win,
354
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,491
and by "best"
I mean the richest
355
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,493
and the most well-hung.
356
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,128
Okay, how do you propose
we get past
357
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,530
this Ophelia broad, huh?
358
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,931
She seems determined
to cock-block us
359
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,466
at every turn.
360
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:31,003
- We could have her killed.
- You think?
361
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,504
Well, it's just
a matter of money.
362
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,872
Now I don't know a guy,
363
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,708
but I probably know a guy
who knows a guy.
364
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:39,445
Solid plan,
but perhaps a little extreme.
365
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,347
You know, maybe we talk
to Marcy first.
366
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,215
You're right,
Runkle.
367
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:47,386
And if I know my favorite
pint-sized stoner chick,
368
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,690
I bet she is running low
on weed.
369
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,802
Hank Moody.
370
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,504
Long time no see.
371
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,638
He's been working.
372
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,174
Good.
Good to hear.
373
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,377
Yeah, well, you had a lot
to do with it, lady.
374
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,712
After our weekend
in New York,
375
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,147
I banged out a draft
of that thing
376
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,382
I'm doing with Atticus.
377
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,183
- It's what I do.
- Yeah.
378
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,686
How'd it go?
379
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,389
I like it.
Others, not so much.
380
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,157
They're--
381
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,393
well, they're calling it
a creative miscarriage.
382
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,762
- Oh, God, no.
- Yeah.
383
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,563
That is no way to talk
about our love baby.
384
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,665
It isn't.
And I wanted to ask you
385
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,733
if you might take a read,
386
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,668
give me your notes.
387
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,904
I don't know
if you muse types
388
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,273
do that sort of thing,
but I'd appreciate it.
389
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,143
Of course I do that.
390
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,411
But only if you can handle
the truth.
391
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,279
No, don't use
that phrase.
392
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:50,783
Okay.
393
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,785
All right.
Yeah.
394
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:53,952
Grab a drink.
I'll read it.
395
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,220
- Thanks.
- Take a swim.
396
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,688
That that sounds
pretty relaxing.
397
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:59,024
Yeah. Or...
398
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,292
We could have sex.
399
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:02,594
You seem
a little mopey.
400
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,030
Aw, baby!
401
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,699
Poor you.
402
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,536
Maybe we should combine
the two.
403
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:17,242
♪
404
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,648
Where is it?
405
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,716
Hand it over.
Oh, sit.
406
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,785
Marcy, please.
407
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,287
I don't want
to sit, Stu.
408
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,455
I just want you
to give me my weed,
409
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,756
so I can go home
and smoke it.
410
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,958
Sit down, Marcy.
Just hear us out.
411
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,727
Oh, fuck, I knew that this
was a fucking setup!
412
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,930
We are worried
about you.
413
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,566
This Ophelia broad
has you acting all loopy.
414
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,502
Look, I know she comes off
a little intense...
415
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:44,903
Oh!
416
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,138
But her heart is
in the right place,
417
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,574
and she speaks
the fucking truth.
418
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,809
Marcy, the woman
put me in a cock cage.
419
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,811
- Yeesh!
- You deserved it, Stu.
420
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,179
You betrayed our love.
421
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,215
I did, and I will
forever be sorry,
422
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,017
but at what point can I take
the damn thing off?
423
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,520
- You're still wearing it?
- Yes.
424
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,122
I'm trying to prove
that I'm deserving
425
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,423
of this woman's love.
Doesn't it hurt?
426
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,924
It's excruciating!
427
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,926
Do you have
the key, Marcy?
428
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:10,929
No.
Only Ophelia has it,
429
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:13,198
and she's the one who decides
when it comes off.
430
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,702
This is ridiculous.
431
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,670
I'm still in love
with you, Marcy.
432
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,005
I'm still in love
with you.
433
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,773
Yes, but we have
a child together.
434
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:25,010
True, but I am far more
capable of taking care of you,
435
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,280
both financially
and sexually,
436
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,716
and I know
what you are thinking
437
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,584
at all times.
438
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,720
I mean, okay,
439
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,688
look at that pool table
over there.
440
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,390
See, I know
you are thinking,
441
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,560
"Maybe we could play
Jodie Foster in The Accused."
442
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,029
We had such fun together,
Marcy.
443
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,031
Our bedroom games
were so delightful.
444
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,699
See, there you go.
445
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,535
Now, I find that revolting.
446
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,004
But it proves that you're
still in there somewhere.
447
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,340
- I'm going.
- Wait!
448
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,142
- Stay, Marcy!
- One drink, one drink.
449
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,478
One drink.
One drink, one drink.
450
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,013
Just hear
a couple brothers out.
451
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,015
Some appletini
to start?
452
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,761
What do you think?
You hate it, you hate it.
453
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,563
I can tell you hate it.
That's all right.
454
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,498
- I don't hate it.
- And that totally bums me out,
455
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,033
but then you could--
I don't hate it.
456
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,547
You could have pool sex
with me again,
457
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:25,270
and I'll maybe feel
a little better.
458
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,773
What do you think?
459
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,509
What do I think?
Um...
460
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:33,245
It's very dark.
Uhhuh.
461
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,846
Dark. Funny.
462
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,548
Funny-dark.
Mm.
463
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,884
And I do really get
what you're trying to do
464
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,919
as far as...
465
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,554
You're doing something
really different with it.
466
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,156
I get that.
467
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,190
But...
468
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,594
But...
469
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,028
It doesn't have any heart.
470
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:52,397
And if there
is one thing
471
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,399
that I know about you,
Hank Moody,
472
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:58,870
it's that
you have a huge...
473
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,539
heart.
474
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:07,112
I think that maybe
you were posturing a little bit.
475
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,680
- Eww.
- You know, you were trying
476
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,549
to show the world
that you are not gonna write
477
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,185
some fluffy
Broadway musical.
478
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:16,088
And I think, in the process
of doing that,
479
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:19,658
maybe you forgot
that it's still a story
480
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,660
of boy meets girl.
481
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:25,130
You know?
It's simple.
482
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,333
I think I get that.
I do, I get it.
483
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:32,804
Anyone can be cynical,
Hank.
484
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,306
Dare to be an optimist.
485
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,813
You know it's all just a big can
of karmic whoop-ass anyway,
486
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,415
you know?
Mmhmm.
487
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,017
'Cause my daughter,
488
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,985
she just wrote
her first novel,
489
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,554
and I was really
fucking hard on her.
490
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,623
Oh, you have
to be really gentle
491
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,925
with those little girls,
Hank.
492
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,129
God, my parents,
493
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,298
they hit me pretty hard
once upon a time.
494
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,432
I'm still smarting.
495
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,734
About what?
What happened?
496
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,703
Do you know
Big Yellow Taxi?
497
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,471
- No.
- By Joni Mitchell?
498
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,473
No, I don't know
any Joni Mitchell songs.
499
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,808
No? None?
500
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,477
What self-respecting guy
knows any?
501
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:17,616
♪ Don't it alw-
502
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,319
♪ Don't it always
seem to go ♪
503
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,554
♪ that you don't know
what you've got ♪
504
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,289
♪ till it's gone
505
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,959
♪ paved paradise and put up
a parking lot ♪
506
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:37,002
♪
507
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,471
I played that song
508
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,807
at this stupid,
little church social.
509
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,175
Mm.
510
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,310
I was obsessed
with Joni Mitchell
511
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,012
when I was a teenager.
512
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,046
I wanted to be a lady
of the Canyon when I grew up.
513
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,182
Me too.
514
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,917
We have so much
in common.
515
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:56,388
And so I got together
with this cute boy
516
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,856
who played the guitar,
517
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:02,361
and we practiced
every day after school.
518
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:06,698
And finally,
the big day came,
519
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:10,435
and we played
our little hearts out,
520
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:15,273
and, you know,
he forgot a few chords,
521
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,576
and I forgot
a few words,
522
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:21,079
and my voice cracked and--
mmhmm.
523
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:23,382
But people clapped.
524
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:26,685
And I was so thrilled. Ah!
Ah!
525
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,854
They kind of loved us.
Yeah.
526
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:32,057
And I went looking
for my parents,
527
00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:33,859
and of course,
all my mom had to say
528
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,761
was that I looked
like a slut up there.
529
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:39,097
And my father said,
530
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:41,867
"Don't quit your day job,
kid."
531
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:46,037
- Mm.
- Nice, huh?
532
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:51,777
The whole thing
was not a bust, however.
533
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:55,914
I lost my virginity
to that cute guitarist.
534
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:59,985
- Oh.
- Yeah.
535
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,587
I think it's becoming
a pattern.
536
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:05,991
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
537
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,959
Mm.
538
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:13,298
♪
539
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:17,068
♪ I heard
that screen door slam ♪
540
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:19,237
♪ and a big yellow taxi
541
00:22:19,272 --> 00:22:22,974
♪ took away my old man
542
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,612
- Oh!
- Oh-ho-ho!
543
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,817
Ha.
Oh, take that, bitches.
544
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,685
Mm.
545
00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:35,086
Marcy.
546
00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:36,388
Oh, my.
547
00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:38,256
I'm so disappointed
in you.
548
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:40,325
I mean,
I'm not surprised.
549
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,794
The road to sheness
is long,
550
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:44,329
and it's paved
with potholes.
551
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:48,600
Okay, that just makes
no sense at all.
552
00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,302
You don't pave
with potholes.
553
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:51,603
You pave over potholes.
554
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:53,472
It absolutely
makes sense.
555
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:57,108
It's in my third book,
Menis to Society.
556
00:22:57,143 --> 00:23:01,046
M-e-n-i-s.
557
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,181
Oh, catchy title.
And subtle.
558
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,617
And what have you written
that's changed lives,
559
00:23:05,651 --> 00:23:07,052
you pathetic,
little simian?
560
00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:10,689
Marcy, let's go.
I'll drive you home.
561
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,457
Wait one second,
Ophelia.
562
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:15,260
How did you even know
where I was just now?
563
00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:16,895
Oh, I tracked
your iPhone.
564
00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:19,498
Oh.
565
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:21,333
Okay, that's just--
what?
566
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:23,535
That's so fucking weird.
567
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:25,209
It's not that weird.
I mean, I've seen you
568
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:26,872
check your email,
like, several times,
569
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:28,874
and I happen to be very good
at recognizing keystrokes.
570
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:31,810
And your password
is distinctive
571
00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:33,812
and disgusting,
and, you know,
572
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:35,747
that's when I really realized
that we had a problem
573
00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:38,550
that was just much bigger
than I ever imagined.
574
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:41,720
Oh, y-you're kidding.
It's not still...
575
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:45,757
Oh, "I love my hubby's
big, fat cock," all one word.
576
00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:48,493
Yes, it is.
You must be so proud.
577
00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:51,763
Oh, I am,
and you still care.
578
00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:54,366
Oh, I was too lazy
to change it!
579
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,800
Yeah, well,
either way,
580
00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:57,536
I am thrilled.
And I'm nauseous.
581
00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:59,771
Marcy, are you ready
to come home?
582
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:02,240
You can spend the night
at my house.
583
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:03,441
Okay, you know what?
584
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:05,544
I think that you
should let Marcy
585
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:08,647
embrace her sheness
and make up her own mind
586
00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:10,849
where she wants
to spend the night.
587
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:12,717
You know,
I heartily concur.
588
00:24:12,752 --> 00:24:14,786
Need I remind you,
Stu,
589
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:17,455
that I hold the key
to your cock cage.
590
00:24:17,490 --> 00:24:19,057
Do you have it
on your person?
591
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,759
I'll write you a check
right this very instant.
592
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,260
This is
just ridiculous.
593
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:24,362
Look, Marcy, you know what?
Don't worry.
594
00:24:24,397 --> 00:24:25,897
We will make sure
you get home.
595
00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:27,532
Oh, are you gonna lay
your hands on her now?
596
00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:29,267
You want worse
than you got yesterday,
597
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:30,735
you slimy,
little sea otter?
598
00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:31,970
What are you gonna do?
599
00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:33,204
You gonna slap me again,
is that it,
600
00:24:33,239 --> 00:24:34,506
in front
of all these people?
601
00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:38,043
Oh!
602
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:40,545
Woman, you are
a fucking fruitcake!
603
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:43,481
Oh, my God!
Ophelia!
604
00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:45,383
What the fuck
is the matter with you?
605
00:24:45,418 --> 00:24:47,419
What? It's fine.
I stunned them, you know?
606
00:24:47,453 --> 00:24:49,754
Marcy, every woman should have
one of these puppies.
607
00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:52,557
It just totally neutralizes
the height-weight advantage.
608
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:53,825
I'll get you one.
Let's go.
609
00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:55,393
No, man.
610
00:24:55,428 --> 00:24:57,429
This is too fucking weird.
You just go.
611
00:24:57,463 --> 00:24:59,698
You get out of here.
Go.
612
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:02,167
Marcy.
613
00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:04,836
You're gonna regret this.
614
00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:13,111
Jesus.
Are you okay?
615
00:25:13,145 --> 00:25:14,479
What did that feel like?
616
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,748
This table is all wet.
617
00:25:16,782 --> 00:25:20,418
Oh, gross.
You pissed your pants, Charlie.
618
00:25:20,453 --> 00:25:22,520
What?
No!
619
00:25:22,555 --> 00:25:24,990
Who pissed on my pants?
620
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:26,458
Who pissed on my pants?
621
00:25:29,495 --> 00:25:34,065
♪
622
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:45,677
Wow. I didn't take you
for a book burner.
623
00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:47,178
What else
am I gonna do?
624
00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:48,847
It's a piece of shit.
625
00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:52,851
Ah. You might as well
throw another one on the pyre.
626
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,786
- ♪ What's your story?
- What's that?
627
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:57,322
It's the play
I was writing with Atticus.
628
00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,591
Apparently,
it's not very good.
629
00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:00,959
They don't like it
very much.
630
00:26:00,993 --> 00:26:02,527
- Really?
- Yeah.
631
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,796
It happens
to us literary lions too.
632
00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:07,532
How does that feel?
633
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,300
Like getting shanked
in prison.
634
00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:12,370
I would imagine.
635
00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:15,340
You know, maybe you
could read it for me
636
00:26:15,374 --> 00:26:17,475
and give me
your thoughts?
637
00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:18,710
Why would you want
my thoughts?
638
00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:20,145
I'm not a writer.
639
00:26:20,179 --> 00:26:22,347
Becca, you wrote
a fucking novel.
640
00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:23,621
Do you know
how amazing that is?
641
00:26:23,649 --> 00:26:25,083
Nobody your age
is doing that.
642
00:26:25,117 --> 00:26:26,818
They're too busy texting,
643
00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:28,219
tweeting,
and facebooking
644
00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:29,421
and feeling entitled
to a life
645
00:26:29,455 --> 00:26:30,855
they don't want
to work for.
646
00:26:30,890 --> 00:26:33,525
Way to slam
an entire generation, dad.
647
00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:35,927
Thank you.
648
00:26:35,961 --> 00:26:40,098
And I'm sorry
that you stormed off
649
00:26:40,132 --> 00:26:43,268
before I could give you
my notes, you know?
650
00:26:43,302 --> 00:26:45,336
You know what I really dug
about your work
651
00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:49,207
was the relationship
between the daughter
652
00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:50,942
and the asshole father.
653
00:26:50,976 --> 00:26:54,679
I mean, obviously you took
a lot of creative license there,
654
00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:56,414
but it felt authentic
to me.
655
00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:58,850
And I think,
if you flesh it out,
656
00:26:58,884 --> 00:27:01,553
you could maybe turn it
into a novella.
657
00:27:01,587 --> 00:27:04,155
- You think so?
- I do.
658
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:07,092
And I'm sorry
that you walked away from me,
659
00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:08,927
thinking that I didn't think
you were special,
660
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:09,961
Becca, 'cause I do.
661
00:27:09,995 --> 00:27:12,864
I think you're so special.
662
00:27:12,898 --> 00:27:15,100
And I hope you don't go
to law school
663
00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:16,868
'cause I don't think
that's you,
664
00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:20,105
and I-I don't think
the world needs another lawyer.
665
00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:23,208
I'm not sure it needs
another writer either.
666
00:27:23,242 --> 00:27:25,643
Yeah, maybe not,
but if you're doing
667
00:27:25,678 --> 00:27:29,581
what you were born to do,
then that's a good thing.
668
00:27:29,615 --> 00:27:31,883
You know?
669
00:27:31,917 --> 00:27:34,085
- I guess.
- Yeah.
670
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,888
Anybody
can be cynical.
671
00:27:36,922 --> 00:27:39,557
Dare to be
an optimist.
672
00:27:39,592 --> 00:27:42,627
Who are you
right now?
673
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:46,698
Just your asshole father.
Who else?
674
00:27:46,732 --> 00:27:48,800
Okay.
675
00:27:48,834 --> 00:27:51,669
I'll think
about my next move.
676
00:27:51,704 --> 00:27:57,575
In the meantime,
I'll read this.
677
00:27:57,610 --> 00:28:01,212
But I'm going to be brutal
with my thoughts, Dad.
678
00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:04,015
I think you need some help
reaching a younger demographic.
679
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,918
Fuck the younger generation.
680
00:28:06,952 --> 00:28:09,120
I just like you.
681
00:28:09,155 --> 00:28:13,291
♪ What's going on
in your mind? ♪
682
00:28:13,325 --> 00:28:18,363
♪ What's the story
that you're leaving behind? ♪
683
00:28:18,397 --> 00:28:21,366
♪ And now you're nowhere
684
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:25,904
♪ so what you gonna do?
685
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:27,208
♪ While the world
appears too small ♪
686
00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:32,233
== sync, corrected by elderman ==