1
00:00:05,895 --> 00:00:09,156
So, how do you have a sister that you
haven't talked to in four years?
2
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,811
I don't know. We just kind
of lost touch, you know.
3
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,180
I mean, I have some sisters
that I've never talked to.
4
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,415
Well, most of them were made up
5
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,902
by my parents for tax purposes.
6
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:20,420
So, when is your sister coming?
7
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,221
She'll be here tomorrow.
Her name's Danielle.
8
00:00:23,341 --> 00:00:23,933
It's her half sister,
9
00:00:24,155 --> 00:00:25,954
but she's really, like,
cool and funny like Whitney.
10
00:00:26,074 --> 00:00:27,962
But she's never as mad at me.
11
00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:31,445
- She sounds hot.
- Hey!
12
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,115
So how are you guys half sisters?
13
00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:35,950
And is anyone removed?
14
00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:37,868
I don't understand how that works.
15
00:00:37,903 --> 00:00:39,203
Okay.
16
00:00:39,237 --> 00:00:41,398
So Danielle and I have
the same mom and different dads.
17
00:00:41,406 --> 00:00:42,790
So when my mom got divorced,
18
00:00:42,824 --> 00:00:44,075
she went and lived with her dad,
19
00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:46,527
and then I stayed and lived with my mom.
20
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:47,795
I'll make a chart.
21
00:00:47,829 --> 00:00:49,997
So then, she moved to Europe
22
00:00:50,031 --> 00:00:52,633
to live with my cousin, her uncle, Carl.
23
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,468
And then I moved in
with her stepsister's mom,
24
00:00:54,503 --> 00:00:56,470
who also happens to be
my cousin twice removed.
25
00:00:56,505 --> 00:01:00,591
White people.
26
00:01:00,642 --> 00:01:02,543
Wh--who is Carl?
27
00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:04,211
Give it up.
28
00:01:04,229 --> 00:01:05,763
Oh, this is great,
29
00:01:05,814 --> 00:01:07,615
but I don't see
how a picture of a squirrel
30
00:01:07,649 --> 00:01:10,968
driving a race car
has anything to do with it.
31
00:01:11,002 --> 00:01:13,654
That's Carl.
32
00:01:13,672 --> 00:01:17,842
In Europe.
33
00:01:17,876 --> 00:01:19,794
Were you guys close?
34
00:01:19,828 --> 00:01:20,928
Yeah.
35
00:01:20,962 --> 00:01:23,464
She was like the best big sister ever.
36
00:01:23,498 --> 00:01:25,933
Things would get chaotic and
when our parents would fight,
37
00:01:25,967 --> 00:01:28,185
she would take us upstairs,
and we would choreograph
38
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:31,839
these, like, silly dances,
and just, like, laugh
39
00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:35,092
and block out the world.
40
00:01:35,127 --> 00:01:37,520
My brothers made me dance too.
41
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:44,251
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:44,286 --> 00:01:46,554
Oh, that's Danielle.
43
00:01:46,588 --> 00:01:47,588
- Okay.
- I'm gonna get it.
44
00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:48,806
No. No, no, no.
She's my sister.
45
00:01:48,857 --> 00:01:49,857
I haven't seen her in four years.
46
00:01:49,891 --> 00:01:52,226
- I'll get it.
- All right, uh...
47
00:01:52,260 --> 00:01:54,445
Can I come with you?
48
00:01:54,479 --> 00:01:57,097
Okay, but just let me do the talking.
49
00:01:57,115 --> 00:02:01,285
Well, when don't I?
50
00:02:01,319 --> 00:02:03,988
- No!
- I wanna get it.
51
00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,626
Danielle.
52
00:02:08,660 --> 00:02:10,110
- Alex!
- Hey, how are you?
53
00:02:10,128 --> 00:02:11,912
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
54
00:02:11,946 --> 00:02:14,748
- Hi.
- Hi.
55
00:02:14,782 --> 00:02:15,883
How are you?
You look so good.
56
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:17,168
Hey, you know what, I read that piece
57
00:02:17,219 --> 00:02:19,170
you did in rolling stone
about arcade fire.
58
00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:20,554
Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:20,589 --> 00:02:22,173
I mean, they really started
the whole Montreal scene.
60
00:02:22,224 --> 00:02:24,625
The stuff they're doing right
now with interactive media--
61
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,126
- mind-blowing.
- I know. I know.
62
00:02:26,144 --> 00:02:27,761
That's what you wrote,
and now you're saying it.
63
00:02:27,795 --> 00:02:31,015
Ahh, it's like you're famous
or something.
64
00:02:31,066 --> 00:02:32,399
So, what are we doing tonight?
65
00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:34,068
You know, honey,
66
00:02:34,102 --> 00:02:36,103
remember what we talked
about this morning?
67
00:02:36,137 --> 00:02:38,856
That you think your boobs are uneven.
68
00:02:38,907 --> 00:02:40,491
No, remember we were talking
about how Danielle and I
69
00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:42,610
should have some, like,
sister time alone?
70
00:02:42,644 --> 00:02:43,661
Oh, yeah.
Right, sister time.
71
00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:44,778
Of course, I get it, yeah.
72
00:02:44,812 --> 00:02:47,031
All right, well,
I'll be down at the bar.
73
00:02:47,082 --> 00:02:48,499
Call me if you want to fight more.
74
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:50,534
Okay.
75
00:02:52,454 --> 00:02:54,288
- He stayed with you.
- I know, right?
76
00:02:56,925 --> 00:02:58,375
The boobs feel even to me, Whit.
77
00:02:58,426 --> 00:02:59,593
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
78
00:02:59,628 --> 00:03:01,178
I think it's because,
you know, when you stare
79
00:03:01,213 --> 00:03:05,216
at something for too long,
and it's--
80
00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:07,668
Um, do you want, like, some wine?
81
00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:09,136
I'd love some.
82
00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:11,004
Okay.
83
00:03:11,022 --> 00:03:12,857
So, uh,
84
00:03:12,891 --> 00:03:15,976
I'm sorry, Whitney.
85
00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,394
About what?
86
00:03:17,445 --> 00:03:20,147
Well, you know, I've been kind of hard
87
00:03:20,181 --> 00:03:21,782
to get in touch with.
88
00:03:21,816 --> 00:03:25,069
It's okay.
I mean, it happens, you know.
89
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,337
But you're here now.
90
00:03:26,371 --> 00:03:29,957
So it's cool.
91
00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:31,909
I really missed you.
92
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,128
Aww.
I missed you too.
93
00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:36,046
You know, I thought maybe I could invite
94
00:03:36,081 --> 00:03:37,297
my two girlfriends over.
95
00:03:37,331 --> 00:03:38,598
And we could have, like, a girls' night or
96
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,436
something, you know.
97
00:03:39,556 --> 00:03:41,802
It's not gonna be a really
late night though, is it?
98
00:03:41,836 --> 00:03:43,203
Oh, no.
We're having margaritas.
99
00:03:43,221 --> 00:03:45,723
So Roxanne will be passed out
and Lily will be stuck
100
00:03:45,757 --> 00:03:48,175
underneath her by, like, 9:00.
101
00:03:48,209 --> 00:03:50,427
Yeah, 'cause I just have
to get up by 8:00 tomorrow
102
00:03:50,478 --> 00:03:52,846
for a doctor's appointment.
103
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,793
And I was kind of hoping
you'd come with me.
104
00:03:55,939 --> 00:03:58,099
Oh, my God.
What--what--what's going on?
105
00:03:58,219 --> 00:03:59,818
Are you okay?
106
00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:02,022
Oh, what is it?
Do you need, like, an organ?
107
00:04:02,056 --> 00:04:03,390
Is that it?
Okay, what do you need?
108
00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,492
What, my liver, my lungs, my heart?
109
00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:06,493
Okay, look.
110
00:04:06,528 --> 00:04:09,896
If you can find it, you can have it.
111
00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:14,735
Hey, have you heard from R.J.?
112
00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:16,954
He was supposed to be at work
two hours ago.
113
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:19,340
I've been calling him,
texting him. No response.
114
00:04:19,374 --> 00:04:20,791
I don't know, maybe
he's with his new girlfriend.
115
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:21,926
No.
116
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,260
That handsome devil is a pain in my ass,
117
00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:25,179
but he's always dependable.
118
00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:28,432
Anyway, I don't him and that
girl are happening anymore.
119
00:04:28,466 --> 00:04:29,750
Why?
120
00:04:29,768 --> 00:04:31,769
I saw them fighting outside
the bar last night.
121
00:04:31,803 --> 00:04:33,103
I couldn't hear what they were saying,
122
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:37,090
but she was all like...
123
00:04:37,108 --> 00:04:41,679
And he was all...
124
00:04:41,713 --> 00:04:43,397
All right, come with me.
125
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:45,199
Where are we going?
126
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:46,283
Well, I've been
R.J.'s best friend
127
00:04:46,318 --> 00:04:47,701
for a long time now.
128
00:04:47,736 --> 00:04:49,436
And I've been through at least
ten breakups with him.
129
00:04:49,454 --> 00:04:52,039
- I know where he is.
- "Best friend"?
130
00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:55,659
Not today.
131
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,595
Okay, so you came all the way to Chicago
132
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:58,963
to go see a doctor?
133
00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:02,299
Well, she's sort of
a specialist in her field.
134
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:05,719
"Field"?
Oh, my God.
135
00:05:05,754 --> 00:05:07,721
It's okay.
She's an endocrinologist.
136
00:05:07,756 --> 00:05:10,557
An endocrinologist?
137
00:05:10,592 --> 00:05:13,911
What is wrong with your endocrines?
138
00:05:13,945 --> 00:05:17,398
No.
Whitney, come sit down.
139
00:05:17,432 --> 00:05:18,965
No, no.
I don't want to sit down.
140
00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,851
Now you're gonna tell me
everything is gonna be okay.
141
00:05:20,902 --> 00:05:23,404
- Well, it is.
- No, I can't take it.
142
00:05:23,438 --> 00:05:24,471
Come on.
143
00:05:24,489 --> 00:05:27,307
Come on, Whit.
144
00:05:31,613 --> 00:05:36,283
So...this past year,
145
00:05:36,317 --> 00:05:39,787
I've undergone
some pretty extensive therapy
146
00:05:39,821 --> 00:05:42,790
to try to find out who I really am.
147
00:05:42,824 --> 00:05:44,491
Oh, look, I know it's confusing,
148
00:05:44,509 --> 00:05:46,960
but Lily made a chart.
149
00:05:46,994 --> 00:05:49,797
Whitney, look at me.
Listen.
150
00:05:49,831 --> 00:05:53,217
I can't do both.
151
00:05:53,251 --> 00:05:57,003
Okay, well, just listen.
152
00:05:59,006 --> 00:06:02,526
Go ahead.
153
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,778
I'm transitioning.
154
00:06:04,813 --> 00:06:06,613
Oh.
155
00:06:06,648 --> 00:06:08,565
Okay.
156
00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:12,569
Good.
157
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:17,875
Into what?
158
00:06:17,909 --> 00:06:22,028
Into a man.
159
00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:49,428
Well, we're gonna have
to make a whole new chart.
160
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,698
Um, so...
161
00:06:55,818 --> 00:07:00,248
you're gonna be a man.
162
00:07:00,266 --> 00:07:04,136
I mean, inside, I already am a man.
163
00:07:04,187 --> 00:07:06,705
Oh. Good.
Um...
164
00:07:06,739 --> 00:07:12,027
So when did this all,
you know, like--when?
165
00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:13,428
Look.
166
00:07:13,446 --> 00:07:15,647
I know this is a lot to take in.
167
00:07:15,698 --> 00:07:16,815
And just so you know, you're already
168
00:07:16,866 --> 00:07:18,767
taking it way better than arcade fire.
169
00:07:18,785 --> 00:07:21,269
Ah.
Uh-huh.
170
00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:23,405
Uh-huh. Okay.
171
00:07:23,439 --> 00:07:28,210
- So, you're gonna lose the--
- Uh-huh.
172
00:07:28,244 --> 00:07:29,544
Uh-huh.
Okay.
173
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,330
And then you're gonna--
174
00:07:31,381 --> 00:07:33,165
- they're gonna give you a--
- Uh-huh.
175
00:07:33,216 --> 00:07:34,282
Oh.
176
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,384
Um, okay.
177
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:38,553
- And...
- Two of 'em.
178
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:42,057
Ah. Okay, okay.
179
00:07:42,091 --> 00:07:46,561
Um, so is this all happening tomorrow?
180
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:47,896
No.
181
00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:51,266
I mean, tomorrow is
just the initial consultation.
182
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:54,519
Does mom know?
183
00:07:54,570 --> 00:07:56,772
I tried to talk to her about
it, but she didn't get it.
184
00:07:56,806 --> 00:07:59,825
She said I was being selfish
and ungrateful.
185
00:07:59,859 --> 00:08:04,079
Then she tried to set me up
with a Jewish girl.
186
00:08:04,113 --> 00:08:05,981
Wow.
Okay, okay.
187
00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:07,282
You know what, I'm sorry.
188
00:08:07,316 --> 00:08:08,483
This is like--
189
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:10,168
it's gonna take me a second to process.
190
00:08:10,203 --> 00:08:12,955
But, um, you were like my rock as a kid.
191
00:08:12,989 --> 00:08:15,257
And I just--I really want
to be able
192
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:16,258
to be there for you,
193
00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:18,627
so just anything you need.
194
00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:20,379
Thanks, Whitty.
195
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:24,132
I mean, pretty soon my outside
is gonna match my inside.
196
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:25,834
And I'm gonna be a guy.
197
00:08:25,852 --> 00:08:28,603
- Whoo!
- What's up, ladies?
198
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:32,024
Girls' night out, bitches!
199
00:08:42,285 --> 00:08:44,903
Nope. He's not here.
200
00:08:44,954 --> 00:08:47,205
Now I'm really worried.
201
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,457
Oh, he's here.
202
00:08:48,491 --> 00:08:52,544
Just prepare to get really confused.
203
00:09:04,173 --> 00:09:08,760
I knew you'd come.
204
00:09:08,811 --> 00:09:12,380
That's a really big tub.
205
00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:13,648
Okay, I have, like,
a thousand questions.
206
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,435
Okay, look.
I know everybody is curious,
207
00:09:16,486 --> 00:09:17,736
but this is a very personal matter
208
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:19,571
and I think we should all just
respect that.
209
00:09:19,605 --> 00:09:23,859
Yeah, plus guys don't like
to talk about stuff.
210
00:09:23,893 --> 00:09:26,511
Do they?
211
00:09:26,546 --> 00:09:28,063
- I just said--
- No, it's okay.
212
00:09:28,081 --> 00:09:29,748
Anybody can ask me anything they want.
213
00:09:29,782 --> 00:09:31,500
Okay, what happens to your hands?
214
00:09:31,534 --> 00:09:32,667
Do you get man-hands
or do they add knuckles?
215
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:33,982
And what about your Adam's apple?
216
00:09:33,986 --> 00:09:35,354
Is that, like,
a prosthetic or something?
217
00:09:35,388 --> 00:09:39,041
And what about your boobs?
Do they turn them into balls?
218
00:09:39,075 --> 00:09:40,876
No, they actually take fat
from your thighs.
219
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:44,413
I'm listening.
220
00:09:44,447 --> 00:09:48,867
Do you think I'm pretty?
221
00:09:48,901 --> 00:09:50,185
Yeah, I think you're pretty.
222
00:09:50,219 --> 00:09:52,420
I could be Tanner.
But I mean, I don't know.
223
00:09:52,438 --> 00:09:56,391
Don't listen to me.
I'm just babbling.
224
00:09:56,425 --> 00:09:58,360
Okay.
225
00:09:58,394 --> 00:09:59,361
So how does this work?
226
00:09:59,395 --> 00:10:00,529
I mean, once you're a guy,
227
00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:05,684
are you gay or straight or bi?
228
00:10:05,718 --> 00:10:07,936
Basically, I'll be a straight man.
229
00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:12,074
I'm already mad at you.
230
00:10:12,108 --> 00:10:14,626
You know what, Danielle,
this is actually kind of genius.
231
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:17,379
I mean, being a woman is a disaster.
232
00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:19,714
It's just--it's--you know,
you're always in pain,
233
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,282
you're always jealous of someone,
234
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,667
you know, you always have to lie
to your friends
235
00:10:22,718 --> 00:10:23,752
about how they look.
236
00:10:23,786 --> 00:10:26,955
Mm.
237
00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:28,957
And my monthly visitor
238
00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:30,809
will be going on a permanent vacation.
239
00:10:30,843 --> 00:10:34,096
- Oh, that's awesome.
- Oh, that is amazing.
240
00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:37,849
Pads are like diapers.
241
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:40,735
All right, I think
this deserves a toast.
242
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,821
Yes!
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
243
00:10:42,855 --> 00:10:44,022
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
244
00:10:44,073 --> 00:10:46,775
Here's to looking better with age.
245
00:10:46,809 --> 00:10:48,743
Ooh.
246
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:51,780
Okay, well, now I hate you.
247
00:10:51,814 --> 00:10:53,281
You guys don't understand.
248
00:10:53,315 --> 00:10:55,417
I need to know
why Lauren broke up with me.
249
00:10:55,451 --> 00:10:56,835
I have to know.
250
00:10:56,869 --> 00:10:59,037
Who cares?
It's over. Move on.
251
00:10:59,088 --> 00:11:00,755
But what if it's something
I need to know about?
252
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,658
Like a flaw in my character
that I need to correct
253
00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:07,762
or a glitch in my lovemaking technique?
254
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:08,830
All right,
look, R.J.
255
00:11:08,865 --> 00:11:10,182
Come on.
Get out of the tub,
256
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:11,666
or I'm gonna reach in there
and unplug the drain.
257
00:11:11,684 --> 00:11:14,119
I'm sitting on the plug.
258
00:11:14,153 --> 00:11:18,473
Or mark is gonna reach
in there and unplug the drain.
259
00:11:18,507 --> 00:11:21,342
I probably won't.
260
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,145
All right, look.
Come on, R.J.
261
00:11:23,179 --> 00:11:24,279
You've been doing this since
you were in high school.
262
00:11:24,313 --> 00:11:25,697
You're a grown man now.
263
00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:27,146
It's just pathetic and ridiculous.
264
00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:31,221
Yeah. Man up.
265
00:11:31,239 --> 00:11:33,190
Hey, you know why
she can't tell you why?
266
00:11:33,224 --> 00:11:34,441
Because there is no "why."
267
00:11:34,492 --> 00:11:35,909
She's just messing with your head.
268
00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:37,561
You think so?
269
00:11:37,579 --> 00:11:39,396
She's playing games, bro.
270
00:11:39,414 --> 00:11:40,864
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
271
00:11:40,898 --> 00:11:44,451
And she made you question
your lovemaking technique.
272
00:11:44,502 --> 00:11:47,838
And she made me say,
"lovemaking."
273
00:11:47,872 --> 00:11:49,123
Yeah, what's that about?
274
00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:51,341
I'm not wasting another bubble
on that woman.
275
00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:52,960
Damn right.
276
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:56,964
By the way, you are dangerously
low on bubbles.
277
00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:59,767
She just lost the best thing
she ever had.
278
00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:02,269
- There's my R.J.!
- Yeah.
279
00:12:02,303 --> 00:12:04,638
Many, many, many women are gonna come in
280
00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:06,273
and out of my life.
281
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:08,976
But the one thing I know
I can always count on
282
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,278
are my friends.
283
00:12:11,312 --> 00:12:12,479
Thanks, guys.
284
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:16,150
Anytime, man.
285
00:12:16,201 --> 00:12:19,119
Bring it in!
286
00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:20,671
Oh, that's weird.
287
00:12:20,705 --> 00:12:21,938
Now that you're standing up,
288
00:12:21,956 --> 00:12:23,760
the tub doesn't look as big.
289
00:12:27,403 --> 00:12:28,995
All right, so how am I
supposed to act? I mean, look.
290
00:12:29,062 --> 00:12:30,312
To be honest, I'm a little freaked out.
291
00:12:30,346 --> 00:12:32,703
I mean, I have a hard time
when Lily wears pants.
292
00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:36,208
Just act normal and be supportive.
293
00:12:36,518 --> 00:12:38,064
Whit, can I ask you a question?
294
00:12:38,184 --> 00:12:40,224
I don't know what
they're doing with her knuckles.
295
00:12:41,526 --> 00:12:43,141
No.
296
00:12:43,175 --> 00:12:47,195
How come everybody
in your family is so weird?
297
00:12:47,229 --> 00:12:49,990
What do you mean? This is like the
least weird thing that's happened.
298
00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:53,112
It's kind of what I mean.
299
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:56,088
Okay, Danielle is like
the only real family I have,
300
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,340
which means she's your family too, okay?
301
00:12:58,375 --> 00:13:00,926
I mean, if I have to read
your brother's chain emails,
302
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:02,828
you can deal with my sister's penis.
303
00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:06,549
Oh.
304
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,169
- How do they, uh--
- Thigh fat.
305
00:13:10,187 --> 00:13:12,188
Hmm.
306
00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:16,475
Hi, Danielle.
307
00:13:16,509 --> 00:13:20,079
So, Whitney told me everything
that's going down.
308
00:13:20,113 --> 00:13:22,131
And, uh...
309
00:13:22,165 --> 00:13:26,185
You're gonna love it.
We have fun.
310
00:13:26,203 --> 00:13:28,287
Thanks, Alex.
311
00:13:28,321 --> 00:13:29,371
- Hey.
- Hey.
312
00:13:29,406 --> 00:13:31,323
How'd you sleep?
Are you okay?
313
00:13:31,357 --> 00:13:33,692
I slept great.
Are you okay?
314
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:36,662
Oh, I'm never okay.
315
00:13:36,696 --> 00:13:37,863
Oh, that's right.
316
00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:39,865
Saddest toddler in the casino.
317
00:13:39,883 --> 00:13:41,500
Yeah.
318
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,502
Um, all right,
we should probably head out.
319
00:13:43,537 --> 00:13:44,536
I don't want you to be late.
320
00:13:44,554 --> 00:13:45,588
Hey, let's go do this.
321
00:13:45,639 --> 00:13:47,339
Okay.
322
00:13:47,373 --> 00:13:49,558
Go get 'em, bro.
323
00:13:50,877 --> 00:13:52,094
"Bro"?
324
00:13:52,145 --> 00:13:53,846
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
325
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:59,101
Just kidding, I love it.
326
00:13:59,152 --> 00:14:00,219
What are you doing?
327
00:14:00,237 --> 00:14:04,373
Hey, she's not a dude yet.
328
00:14:04,407 --> 00:14:06,892
Wait, does that make me gay?
329
00:14:18,421 --> 00:14:20,923
- Thanks for that spa day, R.J.
- My pleasure.
330
00:14:20,957 --> 00:14:23,292
If it wasn't for you guys,
I'd still be in that tub.
331
00:14:23,343 --> 00:14:24,910
I swore after I pledged my fraternity,
332
00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:26,368
I'd never let anybody shave me again,
333
00:14:26,379 --> 00:14:29,048
but it's a lot more relaxing
when you're not sitting
334
00:14:29,082 --> 00:14:32,301
in a wheelbarrow full of horse crap.
335
00:14:32,352 --> 00:14:34,887
I'm actually kind of hungry.
You want to hit Gino's?
336
00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:35,971
Oh, no.
337
00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:38,023
The drugstore over there
has frozen pizza.
338
00:14:38,058 --> 00:14:39,608
And gum.
339
00:14:39,643 --> 00:14:41,527
We're not eating at a drugstore.
340
00:14:41,561 --> 00:14:45,364
Well, this coffee shop has
great whoopie pies.
341
00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:47,066
You know what, you guys go ahead.
342
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,200
I'll catch up with you later.
343
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:51,704
Oh, God.
R.J., where does she live?
344
00:14:51,738 --> 00:14:53,939
- Who?
- Lauren.
345
00:14:53,974 --> 00:14:57,793
The one that you were in the tub about.
346
00:14:57,828 --> 00:15:00,579
She should be home from work any minute.
347
00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:05,367
Reginald Jose...
You should be ashamed.
348
00:15:05,402 --> 00:15:07,619
You mean,
this whole taking-us-out thing
349
00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:10,139
was just a ploy, so you could
stalk an ex-girlfriend?
350
00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:12,925
I've been hoodwinked.
351
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:15,060
I just need to know why, guys.
352
00:15:15,095 --> 00:15:17,229
I need to know why.
353
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:19,682
Wait, "Reginald Jose"?
354
00:15:24,187 --> 00:15:26,906
I only see six schools up here.
355
00:15:28,024 --> 00:15:30,326
I would like to see a Harvard.
356
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,979
Oh, there it is.
357
00:15:33,997 --> 00:15:36,148
Show-off.
358
00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:37,482
Morning.
359
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,667
- Hi.
- Hi.
360
00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:40,169
I'm Whitney Cummings.
361
00:15:40,203 --> 00:15:41,787
This is my sister, Danielle.
362
00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:44,489
She is the one transitioning, not me.
363
00:15:44,507 --> 00:15:45,657
I know.
364
00:15:45,675 --> 00:15:47,293
We've spoken on the phone many times.
365
00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:48,794
It's great
to finally meet you, Danielle.
366
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:50,329
Great to meet you too,
Dr. Cohen.
367
00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:51,630
I talked to your therapist,
368
00:15:51,664 --> 00:15:54,183
and she says you're
in a really good place.
369
00:15:54,217 --> 00:15:55,667
I am. I'm ready.
370
00:15:55,685 --> 00:15:56,752
Good.
371
00:15:56,786 --> 00:15:59,104
I have some forms for you to look at.
372
00:15:59,139 --> 00:16:00,389
These are the risks involved
373
00:16:00,423 --> 00:16:01,874
with hormone replacement therapy.
374
00:16:01,908 --> 00:16:03,475
I'm sorry.
There are risks involved?
375
00:16:03,509 --> 00:16:05,277
Let me just see that.
376
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,947
"Hair loss, hair gain,
377
00:16:07,981 --> 00:16:11,066
increased body odor."
378
00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:13,369
Sounds like my weekend.
379
00:16:13,403 --> 00:16:15,404
If Danielle starts hormone therapy,
380
00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:17,356
she'll be receiving
testosterone injections
381
00:16:17,374 --> 00:16:20,242
once every two weeks
for the rest of her life.
382
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:22,361
For the rest of her life?
383
00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:24,663
You haven't invented, like,
a one-time deal yet?
384
00:16:24,697 --> 00:16:29,885
I mean...we're cloning sheep.
385
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,888
This is different.
386
00:16:32,923 --> 00:16:36,392
So, Danielle,
because of the male hormones,
387
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:40,396
you'll have higher risks
of diseases most common to men
388
00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:43,048
like heart disease,
high cholesterol, and stroke.
389
00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,767
Stroke?
390
00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:47,219
What kind of pig farm are you running?
391
00:16:47,253 --> 00:16:48,320
I'm sorry?
392
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,823
Whitney!
Can you let the doctor talk?
393
00:16:50,857 --> 00:16:52,942
No, I have heard everything
I need to hear.
394
00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:54,944
- We'll go. Thank you.
- No. Excuse me.
395
00:16:54,995 --> 00:16:56,528
This is very safe, okay?
396
00:16:56,562 --> 00:16:57,746
Okay, if it was safe,
397
00:16:57,781 --> 00:17:00,299
there wouldn't be ten pages of risks.
398
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:02,952
At planned parenthood, there's only six.
399
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:06,088
Whitney, I have thought
about this every day
400
00:17:06,122 --> 00:17:08,073
for as long as I can remember.
401
00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:10,575
Okay, well, I think you might
be too close to it.
402
00:17:10,593 --> 00:17:12,678
Okay, I'm going to let you two talk.
403
00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:17,349
And I'll be back in a minute.
404
00:17:19,853 --> 00:17:21,353
What are you doing?
405
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,022
I asked you to come here to support me.
406
00:17:23,056 --> 00:17:24,940
If you're not okay with this, then fine.
407
00:17:24,975 --> 00:17:26,859
Be like dad and mom.
408
00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:29,111
Be like everyone and just shut me out.
409
00:17:29,145 --> 00:17:30,112
Okay, I am not shutting you out.
410
00:17:30,146 --> 00:17:32,147
I am trying to help you.
God!
411
00:17:32,198 --> 00:17:33,615
Well, don't. God!
412
00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:35,767
- Fine, I won't.
- Good.
413
00:17:35,785 --> 00:17:37,619
- Maybe I should just leave.
- Yeah, maybe you should.
414
00:17:37,654 --> 00:17:38,747
I will.
415
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:44,493
Right after I give you
directions back to your hotel.
416
00:17:44,544 --> 00:17:47,713
No, you know what, I got it.
I'll find it myself.
417
00:17:47,747 --> 00:17:50,082
Just like a man.
418
00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:54,976
Come on, R.J. This is ridiculous.
419
00:17:55,096 --> 00:17:56,843
- Let's get out of here.
- Wait. There she is.
420
00:17:57,114 --> 00:18:00,010
Lauren!
Lauren!
421
00:18:00,899 --> 00:18:02,066
What do you want, R.J.?
422
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:03,734
I just want you to tell me why.
423
00:18:03,752 --> 00:18:06,037
R.J., just go home.
424
00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:09,590
Why?
425
00:18:11,109 --> 00:18:12,593
Why?
426
00:18:12,627 --> 00:18:14,295
- R.J.!
- What?
427
00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:15,379
Shut up!
428
00:18:15,413 --> 00:18:17,681
Quit embarrassing me.
Act like a man.
429
00:18:17,716 --> 00:18:20,968
We've been telling him.
430
00:18:21,019 --> 00:18:22,252
Look, it's killing me.
431
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,755
I just have to know
why you broke up with me.
432
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:28,392
When is my birthday?
433
00:18:28,426 --> 00:18:30,561
I don't see how that's relevant.
434
00:18:30,595 --> 00:18:35,032
When is my birthday, R.J.?
435
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,901
Around July, sometime--
436
00:18:36,935 --> 00:18:38,536
it's a holiday.
437
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,671
No.
438
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,273
When is it?
439
00:18:42,307 --> 00:18:44,291
It's the day I broke up with you, dummy!
440
00:18:44,326 --> 00:18:47,128
Now get off my street.
441
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:52,833
I'm sorry, man.
442
00:18:52,884 --> 00:18:54,952
About what?
I'm fine now.
443
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,954
You heard her.
Nothing's wrong with me.
444
00:18:56,972 --> 00:18:59,023
She's just sensitive.
445
00:18:59,057 --> 00:19:00,124
Great.
446
00:19:00,142 --> 00:19:01,291
Now, can we go get some pizza?
447
00:19:01,309 --> 00:19:04,145
Let's roll.
Hey, baby.
448
00:19:04,179 --> 00:19:06,230
When's your birthday?
Pisces?
449
00:19:06,264 --> 00:19:08,265
Come on, help me out here.
450
00:19:12,938 --> 00:19:16,974
- Hey.
- Hey.
451
00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:19,660
So, since I'm gonna be a man soon,
452
00:19:19,694 --> 00:19:21,278
I figured I might as well get
in the habit
453
00:19:21,312 --> 00:19:23,447
of apologizing for things
that aren't my fault.
454
00:19:23,481 --> 00:19:27,585
So, I'm sorry.
455
00:19:29,588 --> 00:19:33,490
It's okay.
I forgive you.
456
00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:35,176
So, I signed my paperwork,
457
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:38,629
and I start my injections tomorrow.
458
00:19:38,663 --> 00:19:42,766
Okay.
459
00:19:42,801 --> 00:19:44,385
Just be careful with this whole thing.
460
00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:47,054
I just--I feel like
I just got you back.
461
00:19:47,105 --> 00:19:52,576
And I don't want to lose you
over some guy.
462
00:19:52,611 --> 00:19:54,395
What guy?
463
00:19:54,446 --> 00:19:56,564
You.
464
00:19:56,615 --> 00:19:58,282
Oh.
465
00:19:58,316 --> 00:19:59,917
Are you scared?
466
00:19:59,951 --> 00:20:02,369
Yeah, I'm scared.
467
00:20:02,404 --> 00:20:05,206
I mean, there's, like,
ten pages of risks.
468
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,191
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
469
00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:08,358
And I must have made it so much worse
470
00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:10,911
by being so overprotective
and just--
471
00:20:10,962 --> 00:20:13,998
I just--I really want
to be there for you
472
00:20:14,032 --> 00:20:16,050
the way you used to be there for me.
473
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,218
So, if something goes horribly wrong,
474
00:20:17,252 --> 00:20:18,552
you're gonna dance for me?
475
00:20:18,587 --> 00:20:19,887
Oh.
476
00:20:19,921 --> 00:20:22,306
You know it.
You remember this?
477
00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,974
- Do you remember this?
- Oh, no, no, no.
478
00:20:24,009 --> 00:20:26,393
Yes. Watch.
479
00:20:26,428 --> 00:20:28,646
Oh, yeah.
480
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,898
All right.
481
00:20:30,932 --> 00:20:32,382
This is so dumb.
482
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,569
It really is stupid.
483
00:20:35,604 --> 00:20:37,238
- Yeah.
- Okay.
484
00:20:37,272 --> 00:20:40,991
Okay.
Now my boobs really are uneven.
485
00:20:41,026 --> 00:20:42,326
Oh, hey, baby.
486
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:43,393
Are you hungry?
487
00:20:43,411 --> 00:20:45,279
Sure. What are you making?
488
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:48,449
Don't be mean.
489
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,084
All right, I'll just jump in the shower.
490
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:53,570
And I'll take
my girlfriend--my wife.
491
00:20:53,588 --> 00:20:55,706
My sister-in-law--mm!
492
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:57,574
My brother-in-law.
493
00:20:57,592 --> 00:21:00,511
I'll take all of you out.
494
00:21:00,545 --> 00:21:02,930
I almost forgot.
I got you something.
495
00:21:02,964 --> 00:21:04,748
Thank you.
496
00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:06,767
Hmm.
497
00:21:09,888 --> 00:21:13,607
Aww, my first shaving kit.
498
00:21:13,642 --> 00:21:15,643
This is awesome.
Thanks, dude.
499
00:21:15,694 --> 00:21:18,112
Hey.
Of course, bro.
500
00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:20,314
- Huh?
- All right.
501
00:21:20,365 --> 00:21:21,808
Oh, I'll never do that.
502
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:31,072
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com