1
00:00:03,895 --> 00:00:07,156
So, how do you have a sister that you
haven't talked to in four years?
2
00:00:07,276 --> 00:00:09,811
I don't know. We just kind
of lost touch, you know.
3
00:00:09,845 --> 00:00:12,180
I mean, I have some sisters
that I've never talked to.
4
00:00:12,215 --> 00:00:13,415
Well, most of them were made up
5
00:00:13,449 --> 00:00:16,902
by my parents for tax purposes.
6
00:00:16,953 --> 00:00:18,420
So, when is your sister coming?
7
00:00:18,454 --> 00:00:21,221
She'll be here tomorrow.
Her name's Danielle.
8
00:00:21,341 --> 00:00:21,933
It's her half sister,
9
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,954
but she's really, like,
cool and funny like Whitney.
10
00:00:24,074 --> 00:00:25,962
But she's never as mad at me.
11
00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:29,445
- She sounds hot.
- Hey!
12
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,115
So how are you guys half sisters?
13
00:00:32,149 --> 00:00:33,950
And is anyone removed?
14
00:00:33,984 --> 00:00:35,868
I don't understand how that works.
15
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,203
Okay.
16
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,398
So Danielle and I have
the same mom and different dads.
17
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,790
So when my mom got divorced,
18
00:00:40,824 --> 00:00:42,075
she went and lived with her dad,
19
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,527
and then I stayed and lived with my mom.
20
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,795
I'll make a chart.
21
00:00:45,829 --> 00:00:47,997
So then, she moved to Europe
22
00:00:48,031 --> 00:00:50,633
to live with my cousin, her uncle, Carl.
23
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:52,468
And then I moved in
with her stepsister's mom,
24
00:00:52,503 --> 00:00:54,470
who also happens to be
my cousin twice removed.
25
00:00:54,505 --> 00:00:58,591
White people.
26
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,543
Wh--who is Carl?
27
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,211
Give it up.
28
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,763
Oh, this is great,
29
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,615
but I don't see
how a picture of a squirrel
30
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:08,968
driving a race car
has anything to do with it.
31
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,654
That's Carl.
32
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:15,842
In Europe.
33
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,794
Were you guys close?
34
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:18,928
Yeah.
35
00:01:18,962 --> 00:01:21,464
She was like the best big sister ever.
36
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,933
Things would get chaotic and
when our parents would fight,
37
00:01:23,967 --> 00:01:26,185
she would take us upstairs,
and we would choreograph
38
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:29,839
these, like, silly dances,
and just, like, laugh
39
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:33,092
and block out the world.
40
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,520
My brothers made me dance too.
41
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:42,251
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:42,286 --> 00:01:44,554
Oh, that's Danielle.
43
00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:45,588
- Okay.
- I'm gonna get it.
44
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,806
No. No, no, no.
She's my sister.
45
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:47,857
I haven't seen her in four years.
46
00:01:47,891 --> 00:01:50,226
- I'll get it.
- All right, uh...
47
00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:52,445
Can I come with you?
48
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,097
Okay, but just let me do the talking.
49
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:59,285
Well, when don't I?
50
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,988
- No!
- I wanna get it.
51
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,626
Danielle.
52
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,110
- Alex!
- Hey, how are you?
53
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,912
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
54
00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:12,748
- Hi.
- Hi.
55
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:13,883
How are you?
You look so good.
56
00:02:13,917 --> 00:02:15,168
Hey, you know what, I read that piece
57
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:17,170
you did in rolling stone
about arcade fire.
58
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,554
Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:20,173
I mean, they really started
the whole Montreal scene.
60
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,625
The stuff they're doing right
now with interactive media--
61
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,126
- mind-blowing.
- I know. I know.
62
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,761
That's what you wrote,
and now you're saying it.
63
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:29,015
Ahh, it's like you're famous
or something.
64
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,399
So, what are we doing tonight?
65
00:02:30,434 --> 00:02:32,068
You know, honey,
66
00:02:32,102 --> 00:02:34,103
remember what we talked
about this morning?
67
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,856
That you think your boobs are uneven.
68
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,491
No, remember we were talking
about how Danielle and I
69
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:40,610
should have some, like,
sister time alone?
70
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:41,661
Oh, yeah.
Right, sister time.
71
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,778
Of course, I get it, yeah.
72
00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:45,031
All right, well,
I'll be down at the bar.
73
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,499
Call me if you want to fight more.
74
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,534
Okay.
75
00:02:50,454 --> 00:02:52,288
- He stayed with you.
- I know, right?
76
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,375
The boobs feel even to me, Whit.
77
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,593
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
78
00:02:57,628 --> 00:02:59,178
I think it's because,
you know, when you stare
79
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:03,216
at something for too long,
and it's--
80
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,668
Um, do you want, like, some wine?
81
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,136
I'd love some.
82
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,004
Okay.
83
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,857
So, uh,
84
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,976
I'm sorry, Whitney.
85
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:15,394
About what?
86
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,147
Well, you know, I've been kind of hard
87
00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:19,782
to get in touch with.
88
00:03:19,816 --> 00:03:23,069
It's okay.
I mean, it happens, you know.
89
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,337
But you're here now.
90
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,957
So it's cool.
91
00:03:27,991 --> 00:03:29,909
I really missed you.
92
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,128
Aww.
I missed you too.
93
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:34,046
You know, I thought maybe I could invite
94
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,297
my two girlfriends over.
95
00:03:35,331 --> 00:03:36,598
And we could have, like, a girls' night or
96
00:03:36,718 --> 00:03:37,436
something, you know.
97
00:03:37,556 --> 00:03:39,802
It's not gonna be a really
late night though, is it?
98
00:03:39,836 --> 00:03:41,203
Oh, no.
We're having margaritas.
99
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,723
So Roxanne will be passed out
and Lily will be stuck
100
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,175
underneath her by, like, 9:00.
101
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:48,427
Yeah, 'cause I just have
to get up by 8:00 tomorrow
102
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,846
for a doctor's appointment.
103
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,793
And I was kind of hoping
you'd come with me.
104
00:03:53,939 --> 00:03:56,099
Oh, my God.
What--what--what's going on?
105
00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:57,818
Are you okay?
106
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,022
Oh, what is it?
Do you need, like, an organ?
107
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:01,390
Is that it?
Okay, what do you need?
108
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,492
What, my liver, my lungs, my heart?
109
00:04:03,527 --> 00:04:04,493
Okay, look.
110
00:04:04,528 --> 00:04:07,896
If you can find it, you can have it.
111
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,735
Hey, have you heard from R.J.?
112
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,954
He was supposed to be at work
two hours ago.
113
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,340
I've been calling him,
texting him. No response.
114
00:04:17,374 --> 00:04:18,791
I don't know, maybe
he's with his new girlfriend.
115
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:19,926
No.
116
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,260
That handsome devil is a pain in my ass,
117
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,179
but he's always dependable.
118
00:04:23,213 --> 00:04:26,432
Anyway, I don't him and that
girl are happening anymore.
119
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,750
Why?
120
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,769
I saw them fighting outside
the bar last night.
121
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,103
I couldn't hear what they were saying,
122
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:35,090
but she was all like...
123
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,679
And he was all...
124
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,397
All right, come with me.
125
00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:43,199
Where are we going?
126
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:44,283
Well, I've been
R.J.'s best friend
127
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,701
for a long time now.
128
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,436
And I've been through at least
ten breakups with him.
129
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,039
- I know where he is.
- "Best friend"?
130
00:04:50,073 --> 00:04:53,659
Not today.
131
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,595
Okay, so you came all the way to Chicago
132
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,963
to go see a doctor?
133
00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:00,299
Well, she's sort of
a specialist in her field.
134
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:03,719
"Field"?
Oh, my God.
135
00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:05,721
It's okay.
She's an endocrinologist.
136
00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:08,557
An endocrinologist?
137
00:05:08,592 --> 00:05:11,911
What is wrong with your endocrines?
138
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:15,398
No.
Whitney, come sit down.
139
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:16,965
No, no.
I don't want to sit down.
140
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,851
Now you're gonna tell me
everything is gonna be okay.
141
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,404
- Well, it is.
- No, I can't take it.
142
00:05:21,438 --> 00:05:22,471
Come on.
143
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,307
Come on, Whit.
144
00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:34,283
So...this past year,
145
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:37,787
I've undergone
some pretty extensive therapy
146
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:40,790
to try to find out who I really am.
147
00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:42,491
Oh, look, I know it's confusing,
148
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,960
but Lily made a chart.
149
00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:47,797
Whitney, look at me.
Listen.
150
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:51,217
I can't do both.
151
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:55,003
Okay, well, just listen.
152
00:05:57,006 --> 00:06:00,526
Go ahead.
153
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,778
I'm transitioning.
154
00:06:02,813 --> 00:06:04,613
Oh.
155
00:06:04,648 --> 00:06:06,565
Okay.
156
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:10,569
Good.
157
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:15,875
Into what?
158
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:20,028
Into a man.
159
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,428
Well, we're gonna have
to make a whole new chart.
160
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:53,698
Um, so...
161
00:06:53,818 --> 00:06:58,248
you're gonna be a man.
162
00:06:58,266 --> 00:07:02,136
I mean, inside, I already am a man.
163
00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:04,705
Oh. Good.
Um...
164
00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:10,027
So when did this all,
you know, like--when?
165
00:07:10,061 --> 00:07:11,428
Look.
166
00:07:11,446 --> 00:07:13,647
I know this is a lot to take in.
167
00:07:13,698 --> 00:07:14,815
And just so you know, you're already
168
00:07:14,866 --> 00:07:16,767
taking it way better than arcade fire.
169
00:07:16,785 --> 00:07:19,269
Ah.
Uh-huh.
170
00:07:19,287 --> 00:07:21,405
Uh-huh. Okay.
171
00:07:21,439 --> 00:07:26,210
- So, you're gonna lose the--
- Uh-huh.
172
00:07:26,244 --> 00:07:27,544
Uh-huh.
Okay.
173
00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:29,330
And then you're gonna--
174
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,165
- they're gonna give you a--
- Uh-huh.
175
00:07:31,216 --> 00:07:32,282
Oh.
176
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,384
Um, okay.
177
00:07:33,418 --> 00:07:36,553
- And...
- Two of 'em.
178
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:40,057
Ah. Okay, okay.
179
00:07:40,091 --> 00:07:44,561
Um, so is this all happening tomorrow?
180
00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:45,896
No.
181
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:49,266
I mean, tomorrow is
just the initial consultation.
182
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:52,519
Does mom know?
183
00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:54,772
I tried to talk to her about
it, but she didn't get it.
184
00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:57,825
She said I was being selfish
and ungrateful.
185
00:07:57,859 --> 00:08:02,079
Then she tried to set me up
with a Jewish girl.
186
00:08:02,113 --> 00:08:03,981
Wow.
Okay, okay.
187
00:08:03,999 --> 00:08:05,282
You know what, I'm sorry.
188
00:08:05,316 --> 00:08:06,483
This is like--
189
00:08:06,501 --> 00:08:08,168
it's gonna take me a second to process.
190
00:08:08,203 --> 00:08:10,955
But, um, you were like my rock as a kid.
191
00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:13,257
And I just--I really want
to be able
192
00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:14,258
to be there for you,
193
00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:16,627
so just anything you need.
194
00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:18,379
Thanks, Whitty.
195
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:22,132
I mean, pretty soon my outside
is gonna match my inside.
196
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:23,834
And I'm gonna be a guy.
197
00:08:23,852 --> 00:08:26,603
- Whoo!
- What's up, ladies?
198
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:30,024
Girls' night out, bitches!
199
00:08:40,285 --> 00:08:42,903
Nope. He's not here.
200
00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:45,205
Now I'm really worried.
201
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,457
Oh, he's here.
202
00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:50,544
Just prepare to get really confused.
203
00:09:02,173 --> 00:09:06,760
I knew you'd come.
204
00:09:06,811 --> 00:09:10,380
That's a really big tub.
205
00:09:10,398 --> 00:09:11,648
Okay, I have, like,
a thousand questions.
206
00:09:11,683 --> 00:09:14,435
Okay, look.
I know everybody is curious,
207
00:09:14,486 --> 00:09:15,736
but this is a very personal matter
208
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:17,571
and I think we should all just
respect that.
209
00:09:17,605 --> 00:09:21,859
Yeah, plus guys don't like
to talk about stuff.
210
00:09:21,893 --> 00:09:24,511
Do they?
211
00:09:24,546 --> 00:09:26,063
- I just said--
- No, it's okay.
212
00:09:26,081 --> 00:09:27,748
Anybody can ask me anything they want.
213
00:09:27,782 --> 00:09:29,500
Okay, what happens to your hands?
214
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:30,667
Do you get man-hands
or do they add knuckles?
215
00:09:30,702 --> 00:09:31,982
And what about your Adam's apple?
216
00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:33,354
Is that, like,
a prosthetic or something?
217
00:09:33,388 --> 00:09:37,041
And what about your boobs?
Do they turn them into balls?
218
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:38,876
No, they actually take fat
from your thighs.
219
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:42,413
I'm listening.
220
00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:46,867
Do you think I'm pretty?
221
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,185
Yeah, I think you're pretty.
222
00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:50,420
I could be Tanner.
But I mean, I don't know.
223
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:54,391
Don't listen to me.
I'm just babbling.
224
00:09:54,425 --> 00:09:56,360
Okay.
225
00:09:56,394 --> 00:09:57,361
So how does this work?
226
00:09:57,395 --> 00:09:58,529
I mean, once you're a guy,
227
00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:03,684
are you gay or straight or bi?
228
00:10:03,718 --> 00:10:05,936
Basically, I'll be a straight man.
229
00:10:05,954 --> 00:10:10,074
I'm already mad at you.
230
00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:12,626
You know what, Danielle,
this is actually kind of genius.
231
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:15,379
I mean, being a woman is a disaster.
232
00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:17,714
It's just--it's--you know,
you're always in pain,
233
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,282
you're always jealous of someone,
234
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,667
you know, you always have to lie
to your friends
235
00:10:20,718 --> 00:10:21,752
about how they look.
236
00:10:21,786 --> 00:10:24,955
Mm.
237
00:10:24,973 --> 00:10:26,957
And my monthly visitor
238
00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:28,809
will be going on a permanent vacation.
239
00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:32,096
- Oh, that's awesome.
- Oh, that is amazing.
240
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:35,849
Pads are like diapers.
241
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,735
All right, I think
this deserves a toast.
242
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,821
Yes!
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
243
00:10:40,855 --> 00:10:42,022
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
244
00:10:42,073 --> 00:10:44,775
Here's to looking better with age.
245
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:46,743
Ooh.
246
00:10:46,778 --> 00:10:49,780
Okay, well, now I hate you.
247
00:10:49,814 --> 00:10:51,281
You guys don't understand.
248
00:10:51,315 --> 00:10:53,417
I need to know
why Lauren broke up with me.
249
00:10:53,451 --> 00:10:54,835
I have to know.
250
00:10:54,869 --> 00:10:57,037
Who cares?
It's over. Move on.
251
00:10:57,088 --> 00:10:58,755
But what if it's something
I need to know about?
252
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:01,658
Like a flaw in my character
that I need to correct
253
00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:05,762
or a glitch in my lovemaking technique?
254
00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:06,830
All right,
look, R.J.
255
00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,182
Come on.
Get out of the tub,
256
00:11:08,216 --> 00:11:09,666
or I'm gonna reach in there
and unplug the drain.
257
00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:12,119
I'm sitting on the plug.
258
00:11:12,153 --> 00:11:16,473
Or mark is gonna reach
in there and unplug the drain.
259
00:11:16,507 --> 00:11:19,342
I probably won't.
260
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,145
All right, look.
Come on, R.J.
261
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:22,279
You've been doing this since
you were in high school.
262
00:11:22,313 --> 00:11:23,697
You're a grown man now.
263
00:11:23,731 --> 00:11:25,146
It's just pathetic and ridiculous.
264
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:29,221
Yeah. Man up.
265
00:11:29,239 --> 00:11:31,190
Hey, you know why
she can't tell you why?
266
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,441
Because there is no "why."
267
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,909
She's just messing with your head.
268
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,561
You think so?
269
00:11:35,579 --> 00:11:37,396
She's playing games, bro.
270
00:11:37,414 --> 00:11:38,864
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
271
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:42,451
And she made you question
your lovemaking technique.
272
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,838
And she made me say,
"lovemaking."
273
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,123
Yeah, what's that about?
274
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,341
I'm not wasting another bubble
on that woman.
275
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,960
Damn right.
276
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,964
By the way, you are dangerously
low on bubbles.
277
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:57,767
She just lost the best thing
she ever had.
278
00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,269
- There's my R.J.!
- Yeah.
279
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,638
Many, many, many women are gonna come in
280
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,273
and out of my life.
281
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,976
But the one thing I know
I can always count on
282
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,278
are my friends.
283
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,479
Thanks, guys.
284
00:12:10,514 --> 00:12:14,150
Anytime, man.
285
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:17,119
Bring it in!
286
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,671
Oh, that's weird.
287
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:19,938
Now that you're standing up,
288
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,760
the tub doesn't look as big.
289
00:12:25,403 --> 00:12:26,995
All right, so how am I
supposed to act? I mean, look.
290
00:12:27,062 --> 00:12:28,312
To be honest, I'm a little freaked out.
291
00:12:28,346 --> 00:12:30,703
I mean, I have a hard time
when Lily wears pants.
292
00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:34,208
Just act normal and be supportive.
293
00:12:34,518 --> 00:12:36,064
Whit, can I ask you a question?
294
00:12:36,184 --> 00:12:38,224
I don't know what
they're doing with her knuckles.
295
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,141
No.
296
00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:45,195
How come everybody
in your family is so weird?
297
00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:47,990
What do you mean? This is like the
least weird thing that's happened.
298
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:51,112
It's kind of what I mean.
299
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:54,088
Okay, Danielle is like
the only real family I have,
300
00:12:54,123 --> 00:12:56,340
which means she's your family too, okay?
301
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,926
I mean, if I have to read
your brother's chain emails,
302
00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:00,828
you can deal with my sister's penis.
303
00:13:02,347 --> 00:13:04,549
Oh.
304
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,169
- How do they, uh--
- Thigh fat.
305
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,188
Hmm.
306
00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:14,475
Hi, Danielle.
307
00:13:14,509 --> 00:13:18,079
So, Whitney told me everything
that's going down.
308
00:13:18,113 --> 00:13:20,131
And, uh...
309
00:13:20,165 --> 00:13:24,185
You're gonna love it.
We have fun.
310
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,287
Thanks, Alex.
311
00:13:26,321 --> 00:13:27,371
- Hey.
- Hey.
312
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,323
How'd you sleep?
Are you okay?
313
00:13:29,357 --> 00:13:31,692
I slept great.
Are you okay?
314
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:34,662
Oh, I'm never okay.
315
00:13:34,696 --> 00:13:35,863
Oh, that's right.
316
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,865
Saddest toddler in the casino.
317
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,500
Yeah.
318
00:13:39,534 --> 00:13:41,502
Um, all right,
we should probably head out.
319
00:13:41,537 --> 00:13:42,536
I don't want you to be late.
320
00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:43,588
Hey, let's go do this.
321
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,339
Okay.
322
00:13:45,373 --> 00:13:47,558
Go get 'em, bro.
323
00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:50,094
"Bro"?
324
00:13:50,145 --> 00:13:51,846
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
325
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:57,101
Just kidding, I love it.
326
00:13:57,152 --> 00:13:58,219
What are you doing?
327
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:02,373
Hey, she's not a dude yet.
328
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:04,892
Wait, does that make me gay?
329
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,923
- Thanks for that spa day, R.J.
- My pleasure.
330
00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:21,292
If it wasn't for you guys,
I'd still be in that tub.
331
00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:22,910
I swore after I pledged my fraternity,
332
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,368
I'd never let anybody shave me again,
333
00:14:24,379 --> 00:14:27,048
but it's a lot more relaxing
when you're not sitting
334
00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:30,301
in a wheelbarrow full of horse crap.
335
00:14:30,352 --> 00:14:32,887
I'm actually kind of hungry.
You want to hit Gino's?
336
00:14:32,921 --> 00:14:33,971
Oh, no.
337
00:14:34,022 --> 00:14:36,023
The drugstore over there
has frozen pizza.
338
00:14:36,058 --> 00:14:37,608
And gum.
339
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:39,527
We're not eating at a drugstore.
340
00:14:39,561 --> 00:14:43,364
Well, this coffee shop has
great whoopie pies.
341
00:14:43,398 --> 00:14:45,066
You know what, you guys go ahead.
342
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,200
I'll catch up with you later.
343
00:14:46,235 --> 00:14:49,704
Oh, God.
R.J., where does she live?
344
00:14:49,738 --> 00:14:51,939
- Who?
- Lauren.
345
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,793
The one that you were in the tub about.
346
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,579
She should be home from work any minute.
347
00:14:58,613 --> 00:15:03,367
Reginald Jose...
You should be ashamed.
348
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,619
You mean,
this whole taking-us-out thing
349
00:15:05,637 --> 00:15:08,139
was just a ploy, so you could
stalk an ex-girlfriend?
350
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:10,925
I've been hoodwinked.
351
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:13,060
I just need to know why, guys.
352
00:15:13,095 --> 00:15:15,229
I need to know why.
353
00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:17,682
Wait, "Reginald Jose"?
354
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:24,906
I only see six schools up here.
355
00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:28,326
I would like to see a Harvard.
356
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,979
Oh, there it is.
357
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:34,148
Show-off.
358
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,482
Morning.
359
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,667
- Hi.
- Hi.
360
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,169
I'm Whitney Cummings.
361
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:39,787
This is my sister, Danielle.
362
00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:42,489
She is the one transitioning, not me.
363
00:15:42,507 --> 00:15:43,657
I know.
364
00:15:43,675 --> 00:15:45,293
We've spoken on the phone many times.
365
00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:46,794
It's great
to finally meet you, Danielle.
366
00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:48,329
Great to meet you too,
Dr. Cohen.
367
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:49,630
I talked to your therapist,
368
00:15:49,664 --> 00:15:52,183
and she says you're
in a really good place.
369
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:53,667
I am. I'm ready.
370
00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:54,752
Good.
371
00:15:54,786 --> 00:15:57,104
I have some forms for you to look at.
372
00:15:57,139 --> 00:15:58,389
These are the risks involved
373
00:15:58,423 --> 00:15:59,874
with hormone replacement therapy.
374
00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:01,475
I'm sorry.
There are risks involved?
375
00:16:01,509 --> 00:16:03,277
Let me just see that.
376
00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:05,947
"Hair loss, hair gain,
377
00:16:05,981 --> 00:16:09,066
increased body odor."
378
00:16:09,117 --> 00:16:11,369
Sounds like my weekend.
379
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,404
If Danielle starts hormone therapy,
380
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:15,356
she'll be receiving
testosterone injections
381
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:18,242
once every two weeks
for the rest of her life.
382
00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:20,361
For the rest of her life?
383
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,663
You haven't invented, like,
a one-time deal yet?
384
00:16:22,697 --> 00:16:27,885
I mean...we're cloning sheep.
385
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,888
This is different.
386
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:34,392
So, Danielle,
because of the male hormones,
387
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:38,396
you'll have higher risks
of diseases most common to men
388
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:41,048
like heart disease,
high cholesterol, and stroke.
389
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,767
Stroke?
390
00:16:42,818 --> 00:16:45,219
What kind of pig farm are you running?
391
00:16:45,253 --> 00:16:46,320
I'm sorry?
392
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:48,823
Whitney!
Can you let the doctor talk?
393
00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:50,942
No, I have heard everything
I need to hear.
394
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:52,944
- We'll go. Thank you.
- No. Excuse me.
395
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,528
This is very safe, okay?
396
00:16:54,562 --> 00:16:55,746
Okay, if it was safe,
397
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,299
there wouldn't be ten pages of risks.
398
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,952
At planned parenthood, there's only six.
399
00:17:01,003 --> 00:17:04,088
Whitney, I have thought
about this every day
400
00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:06,073
for as long as I can remember.
401
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:08,575
Okay, well, I think you might
be too close to it.
402
00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:10,678
Okay, I'm going to let you two talk.
403
00:17:10,712 --> 00:17:15,349
And I'll be back in a minute.
404
00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:19,353
What are you doing?
405
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:21,022
I asked you to come here to support me.
406
00:17:21,056 --> 00:17:22,940
If you're not okay with this, then fine.
407
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,859
Be like dad and mom.
408
00:17:24,893 --> 00:17:27,111
Be like everyone and just shut me out.
409
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:28,112
Okay, I am not shutting you out.
410
00:17:28,146 --> 00:17:30,147
I am trying to help you.
God!
411
00:17:30,198 --> 00:17:31,615
Well, don't. God!
412
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,767
- Fine, I won't.
- Good.
413
00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:35,619
- Maybe I should just leave.
- Yeah, maybe you should.
414
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,747
I will.
415
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,493
Right after I give you
directions back to your hotel.
416
00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:45,713
No, you know what, I got it.
I'll find it myself.
417
00:17:45,747 --> 00:17:48,082
Just like a man.
418
00:17:51,535 --> 00:17:52,976
Come on, R.J. This is ridiculous.
419
00:17:53,096 --> 00:17:54,843
- Let's get out of here.
- Wait. There she is.
420
00:17:55,114 --> 00:17:58,010
Lauren!
Lauren!
421
00:17:58,899 --> 00:18:00,066
What do you want, R.J.?
422
00:18:00,084 --> 00:18:01,734
I just want you to tell me why.
423
00:18:01,752 --> 00:18:04,037
R.J., just go home.
424
00:18:04,071 --> 00:18:07,590
Why?
425
00:18:09,109 --> 00:18:10,593
Why?
426
00:18:10,627 --> 00:18:12,295
- R.J.!
- What?
427
00:18:12,346 --> 00:18:13,379
Shut up!
428
00:18:13,413 --> 00:18:15,681
Quit embarrassing me.
Act like a man.
429
00:18:15,716 --> 00:18:18,968
We've been telling him.
430
00:18:19,019 --> 00:18:20,252
Look, it's killing me.
431
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:22,755
I just have to know
why you broke up with me.
432
00:18:22,773 --> 00:18:26,392
When is my birthday?
433
00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:28,561
I don't see how that's relevant.
434
00:18:28,595 --> 00:18:33,032
When is my birthday, R.J.?
435
00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,901
Around July, sometime--
436
00:18:34,935 --> 00:18:36,536
it's a holiday.
437
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:38,671
No.
438
00:18:38,705 --> 00:18:40,273
When is it?
439
00:18:40,307 --> 00:18:42,291
It's the day I broke up with you, dummy!
440
00:18:42,326 --> 00:18:45,128
Now get off my street.
441
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:50,833
I'm sorry, man.
442
00:18:50,884 --> 00:18:52,952
About what?
I'm fine now.
443
00:18:52,970 --> 00:18:54,954
You heard her.
Nothing's wrong with me.
444
00:18:54,972 --> 00:18:57,023
She's just sensitive.
445
00:18:57,057 --> 00:18:58,124
Great.
446
00:18:58,142 --> 00:18:59,291
Now, can we go get some pizza?
447
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:02,145
Let's roll.
Hey, baby.
448
00:19:02,179 --> 00:19:04,230
When's your birthday?
Pisces?
449
00:19:04,264 --> 00:19:06,265
Come on, help me out here.
450
00:19:10,938 --> 00:19:14,974
- Hey.
- Hey.
451
00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:17,660
So, since I'm gonna be a man soon,
452
00:19:17,694 --> 00:19:19,278
I figured I might as well get
in the habit
453
00:19:19,312 --> 00:19:21,447
of apologizing for things
that aren't my fault.
454
00:19:21,481 --> 00:19:25,585
So, I'm sorry.
455
00:19:27,588 --> 00:19:31,490
It's okay.
I forgive you.
456
00:19:31,508 --> 00:19:33,176
So, I signed my paperwork,
457
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:36,629
and I start my injections tomorrow.
458
00:19:36,663 --> 00:19:40,766
Okay.
459
00:19:40,801 --> 00:19:42,385
Just be careful with this whole thing.
460
00:19:42,436 --> 00:19:45,054
I just--I feel like
I just got you back.
461
00:19:45,105 --> 00:19:50,576
And I don't want to lose you
over some guy.
462
00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:52,395
What guy?
463
00:19:52,446 --> 00:19:54,564
You.
464
00:19:54,615 --> 00:19:56,282
Oh.
465
00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:57,917
Are you scared?
466
00:19:57,951 --> 00:20:00,369
Yeah, I'm scared.
467
00:20:00,404 --> 00:20:03,206
I mean, there's, like,
ten pages of risks.
468
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,191
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
469
00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:06,358
And I must have made it so much worse
470
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:08,911
by being so overprotective
and just--
471
00:20:08,962 --> 00:20:11,998
I just--I really want
to be there for you
472
00:20:12,032 --> 00:20:14,050
the way you used to be there for me.
473
00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:15,218
So, if something goes horribly wrong,
474
00:20:15,252 --> 00:20:16,552
you're gonna dance for me?
475
00:20:16,587 --> 00:20:17,887
Oh.
476
00:20:17,921 --> 00:20:20,306
You know it.
You remember this?
477
00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:21,974
- Do you remember this?
- Oh, no, no, no.
478
00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:24,393
Yes. Watch.
479
00:20:24,428 --> 00:20:26,646
Oh, yeah.
480
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,898
All right.
481
00:20:28,932 --> 00:20:30,382
This is so dumb.
482
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,569
It really is stupid.
483
00:20:33,604 --> 00:20:35,238
- Yeah.
- Okay.
484
00:20:35,272 --> 00:20:38,991
Okay.
Now my boobs really are uneven.
485
00:20:39,026 --> 00:20:40,326
Oh, hey, baby.
486
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,393
Are you hungry?
487
00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:43,279
Sure. What are you making?
488
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:46,449
Don't be mean.
489
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,084
All right, I'll just jump in the shower.
490
00:20:48,118 --> 00:20:51,570
And I'll take
my girlfriend--my wife.
491
00:20:51,588 --> 00:20:53,706
My sister-in-law--mm!
492
00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:55,574
My brother-in-law.
493
00:20:55,592 --> 00:20:58,511
I'll take all of you out.
494
00:20:58,545 --> 00:21:00,930
I almost forgot.
I got you something.
495
00:21:00,964 --> 00:21:02,748
Thank you.
496
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:04,767
Hmm.
497
00:21:07,888 --> 00:21:11,607
Aww, my first shaving kit.
498
00:21:11,642 --> 00:21:13,643
This is awesome.
Thanks, dude.
499
00:21:13,694 --> 00:21:16,112
Hey.
Of course, bro.
500
00:21:16,146 --> 00:21:18,314
- Huh?
- All right.
501
00:21:18,365 --> 00:21:19,808
Oh, I'll never do that.
502
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:29,072
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com