1 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,248 Previously on Californication: 2 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:14,756 You know, the weird thing is, my husband's dead, and I'm numb. 3 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,851 How the fuck you doing, Moody? 4 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,725 My dick don't work. A man can only shoot so many loads. 5 00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,524 I mean, literally, you can run out. 6 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,793 We need one pound of your best Peruvian blend. 7 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,028 - We will be on our way. - I like that suit. 8 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,933 - Take it off. - What about your old lady? 9 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,368 - What about her? - Her needs? 10 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:33,306 Wives are different. They don't rub themselves raw like we do. 11 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:36,379 My husband fucks around on the road, but we have an agreement. 12 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,880 - I've been wanting to talk to you. - Regarding? 13 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,576 - An extramarital affair. - Oh, my. 14 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,221 - I'm still in love with her, Stu. - Me too. 15 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,448 But I will pay you not to pursue Marcy. 16 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,321 This is a fucking disaster. 17 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:53,862 What the fuck are you guys talking about? It's a rock opera with the tone of my book. 18 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,489 It's bollocks. 19 00:00:55,655 --> 00:01:00,263 It doesn't have any heart, and you have a huge heart. 20 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:04,136 Oh, I just had me an assgasm. 21 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:18,584 Hank. Hank. 22 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,218 Good morning, sunshine. 23 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,692 - Your work is delightful. - Great job on the rewrite, Hank. 24 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:29,300 - It really puts a smile on the face. - I love a good musical. 25 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:32,335 - Warms the fucking cockles. - What the fuck are you doing here? 26 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,938 The missus caught me eating her chocolate bar... 27 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,837 out of the cleaning lady's vagina. 28 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:42,071 - That's disgusting. - No, it was delicious. 29 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:44,112 It was Marilyn Manson's idea. 30 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,841 Once upon a time, according to rock legend, mind you... 31 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,384 Mick Jagger was caught eating a chocolate bar... 32 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:53,115 out of Marianne Faithfull's warm, gooey center. 33 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,419 Bowie was there too. Of course now they all swear it never happened. 34 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,961 But I felt like I should try it at least once. 35 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,656 I'm actually surprised it's taken me this long. 36 00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:06,361 By the by, Atticus, just any idea how long you might be staying? 37 00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:09,006 I hadn't thought about it. It could be quite a while. 38 00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:12,735 She was fucking furious. Almost cut my dick off. 39 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,310 - Is this gonna be a problem, Runkle? - No. 40 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,211 I just thought you might be more comfortable at a hotel. 41 00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:22,148 Why would I be more comfortable paying for posh lodgings... 42 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:26,051 when I can stay with my manager? For free. 43 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,782 Makes sense to me. 44 00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:31,258 Tell me, will Krull be staying too? 45 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,328 Of course. He's my road manager. 46 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,194 Anytime I leave my house, I'm technically on the road. 47 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:37,960 Krull gets me from point A to B... 48 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:41,003 and knows where to find all my favorite creature comforts. 49 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,004 Where's the shitter in this place? 50 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,309 Yeah, go easy, big fella. 51 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,073 - Low-flow toilets. - Hey. 52 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,880 - We should have a party. - Why? 53 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,352 I'm newly single. You had a major creative breakthrough. We should celebrate. 54 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,754 One should mark such fucking milestones. 55 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,895 You know, that's not really a bad idea. 56 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,190 The last big party I had here was filled with smelly leather boys. 57 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,857 - Couldn't really wash the stink off the joint. - Okay, where's the master? 58 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,800 - I'm gonna rest up for tonight's shindig. - Follow the Krull. 59 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,735 Runkle, can you get a piano delivered? 60 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:19,468 Make sure there's heaps of alcohol and cocaine and Mars bars and Astroglide. 61 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,906 Brilliant work, Hank. 62 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:25,277 I'm gonna go put this under my pillow and do some dream-writing. 63 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:29,208 But first I must masturbate myself to sleep. 64 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,029 Moody. 65 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,696 Eddie Nero. As I live and breathe. 66 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,709 Can I have a go? I'd very much like to tackle Hank. 67 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,039 No, no. That's my thing. 68 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,809 - I'm gonna do it. - Do what? 69 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,679 Continue my great tradition of bringing your words to life. 70 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,787 On the boards in front of the footlights. 71 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,547 - Can you even sing? - Can I sing? 72 00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,156 I don't know, can you? 73 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:05,807 Is there anybody alive out there? 74 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,418 I got serious douche chills running down my spine. 75 00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:12,249 - I'm also a little hard, I have to admit. - I'll bet you are. Can I see it? 76 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,016 - No, can I see it? - No! 77 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,660 - Hey, pussy fart, how you doing? - All right, Eddie. 78 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,526 - How about yourself? - I heard you came out recently. 79 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:24,259 - For a short time. - He almost took a man in his mouth. 80 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,768 - I took a man in my mouth once. - We know, Eddie. 81 00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:28,701 I engineered that orgasm. 82 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:32,468 My hands, mouth, feet. 83 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:43,618 I watched his jism form a slimy St. Louis arch in the air... 84 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:47,519 before landing comfortably on the rug in the Lincoln Bedroom. 85 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,751 You performed fellatio in the White House? 86 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,486 It's not appropriate, but yes. 87 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,494 I had an experience with a gent once. 88 00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:54,723 He was quite pretty. 89 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,060 Showed up in the backstage area. 90 00:05:57,223 --> 00:06:00,067 Fooled the road crew. Sure as hell fooled me. 91 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,365 He gave a lovely blow job. 92 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,901 I reached into his knickers, felt what I initially thought to be... 93 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,545 a slightly oversized female clitoris, but, no... 94 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,308 it was a gentleman's short, but quite broad penis. 95 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,452 I thought to myself, "What would Bowie do?" 96 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,647 And then I gave up and got security to beat him senseless. 97 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,418 And then I felt sorry for him and let him blow me again. 98 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,425 Holes is holes when all's said and done. 99 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:27,898 That's exactly what I always say. 100 00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:30,133 I have big news. 101 00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:32,633 Tonight I'm gonna make love to a woman. 102 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,703 Oh, well, maybe we should alert the media. 103 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,432 Entertainment Tonight or maybe National Geographic. 104 00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,635 Well, I have been celibate for quite some time now. 105 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,677 I thought that I'd lost all my loads. 106 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:46,180 But they came back, and if I'm gonna star in a traditional love story... 107 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,809 I need to remember what it's like to come with a woman. By the way... 108 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,649 what's the deal with this party? 109 00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,052 Seems like it's a little bit of a sausage fest. 110 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,193 Yeah, Runkle. Where are the girls? 111 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,228 - I'm sorry. What do you mean? - I said we should have a party. 112 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:02,764 Did you expect me to send out the fucking invites, you senseless wanker? 113 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:06,335 - What about the drugs? Where are they? - Okay. 114 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:10,099 Atticus, well, we had good luck with the chocolate bars and the Astroglide... 115 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,574 but there was a little bit of a problem with the drugs. 116 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,073 Fucking fuck, Runkle! 117 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:20,909 Jesus. 118 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,513 - Was that a banana? - I want drugs! 119 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:27,818 I want some fucking girls and some fucking drugs! 120 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,120 Drugs. 121 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,354 Hey. 122 00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:35,121 Hi. 123 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,961 Hank Moody. 124 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,763 Hey. How's my suit? 125 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,532 It's aspirational. 126 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:45,972 - Gonna fit in that fucker one day. - Excellent. Good luck with that. 127 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,378 You don't have to be so fucking snarky. 128 00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,480 Slow and steady wins the race, asshole. 129 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,116 I'll fit in that suit before you grow your fucking hair back. 130 00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,518 - Frank. - Widow. 131 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,052 Come here. 132 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:11,125 If it isn't the bloody warlock who turned me bum into the happiest place on earth. 133 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,999 I've missed you, you dirty, bald bastard, you. 134 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,835 - Nice to see you, Trudy. How you been? - I've been well. 135 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,032 - I've been well. - Good. 136 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,871 Thinking about finding a new husband. 137 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,205 Oh, really? 138 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:25,815 Tony left me in financial shambles, you know. I mean, we spent it... 139 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,747 as fast as he made it. 140 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,717 I don't know if he's marriage material, but Eddie Nero... 141 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:34,689 is looking to bust a big, fat load after being celibate for quite some time. 142 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,724 - You two could help each other. - Really? 143 00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:39,386 Oh, no. He's a little too pretty for me. 144 00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,589 And he poops on people. 145 00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:44,428 Blue Eyes poops on people. You're into the scat-play, huh? 146 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,600 Poop! It was a phase, but a messy phase. 147 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:53,134 I've been there once or twice, I have. Real messy. 148 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,643 Speaking of dirty, what do you say, Popeye? 149 00:08:55,801 --> 00:09:01,080 You ready to bust one out so we can sit back, relax and enjoy the party? 150 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,214 Don't mind if I do. 151 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,253 Yay. Attaboy. 152 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:08,752 Poop, POOP- 153 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,897 Stop. 154 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,329 Don't stop. 155 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,696 Stop. 156 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,565 I'm almost done. 157 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,896 Fuck. 158 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,168 This is good, Hank. Almost makes me wanna jump your bones. 159 00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,538 Almost? What else... 160 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,611 I got a typewriter right here. 161 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,777 - Damn. - Thank you. 162 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:38,321 Well, your thoughts and the kind, thoughtful, long-legged manner... 163 00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:42,892 in which you chose to express them, had much to do with the end result. 164 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,859 Well, it leaves you with the same feeling... 165 00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:49,124 that a really great song does. 166 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:54,035 Sadly, I think my work here is done. 167 00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:57,174 What? No more sexy time? Say it ain't so. 168 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,776 Well, too much leads to too much. 169 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,640 - Sooner or later, someone gets hurt. - Yeah, you're right. 170 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,214 You should do your best not to fall in love with me. 171 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:06,850 I wasn't worried about me. 172 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:10,579 No, no, be careful. I have a tendency to take root in the hearts and minds... 173 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:15,123 of those who initially find me off-putting. It's a small, but loyal group. 174 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:20,697 Well, everything put together falls apart, Hank. 175 00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:22,355 - Paul Simon. - Very good. 176 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:23,966 That was easy for me. Know why? 177 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,864 - Why? - Because I'm old as dirt. 178 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:28,828 Oh, come here. 179 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:33,300 - You're not so old. - Oh, sweet talker. 180 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,711 Oh, my back. 181 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,321 My back. Oh, jeez. 182 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,293 I've never been sodomized in a child's nursery before. 183 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,625 - What fun. - That's odd. 184 00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:58,268 Oh, hey, you two. 185 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,070 Hey. Oh, this is Trudy. 186 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,763 This is Marcy and Karen. 187 00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:06,000 This is Trudy, and Trudy was recently widowed. 188 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,236 It's true. I was. 189 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,847 - Yeah, my hubby OD'd. - Oh, sorry. 190 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,041 But Jean-Luc Picard here has been keeping me company. 191 00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:16,709 Right? He's not too big in the lap, you see... 192 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,550 but he's enthusiastic, if you know what I'm saying. 193 00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:21,248 Yeah, I know what you're saying. 194 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,623 Hey. I thought you said they weren't coming. 195 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,355 They said they weren't coming. Here they are. 196 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,262 - Good. - Yeah. We got bored, we smoked weed... 197 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,437 and we wanted to meet Atticus Fetch, yeah! 198 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,765 You should. You should. 199 00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:38,966 You should have sex with him, both of you. He's single now. 200 00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,042 And he's quite good in the sack, you know. 201 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,977 A little lazy when it comes to the oral return favors and such. 202 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:47,583 - Unlike the Ass Whisperer here. - That's me! 203 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:52,155 - He gives as good as he gets, he does. - That's not exactly my experience. 204 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:55,224 - Hey. - Have you ever done Atticus before? 205 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,294 - No, I have not had the pleasure. - We should do him together. 206 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:02,627 We could. Or we could go get a drink right... Right now. 207 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:05,598 - Whatever you think. - Marcy, let me introduce you to Atticus. 208 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,101 No. Allow me. 209 00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,933 Okay. Whichever one. Lead the way. 210 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:12,932 I see you have a new friend. 211 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:15,511 Yes, and she's... That's what she is, a friend. 212 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,581 She's a lovely young woman who has helped guide me creatively. 213 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,012 Right. I'm sure. 214 00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:24,177 Sort of a "Florence Nightingale in your time of need" kind of thing. 215 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:27,654 Well, I'm happy to see that I can still get a jealous rise out of you. 216 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:32,319 But you just say the word, and I will stop the world and melt with you. 217 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:33,820 Yeah, I said that. 218 00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,791 - You remember Eddie. Karen. - Hi, hey. 219 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,494 Karen, you remember Yusuf Nero? 220 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:44,698 The last time we were together, you were seeing that handsome African-American. 221 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:48,004 No, that was just a phase, like you pooping on people. 222 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,078 I had a feeling that was a passing thing. 223 00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:53,308 A milk chocolate mandingo fantasy. Perfectly normal. 224 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,783 You're entitled. Particularly after the hell this lunatic put you through. 225 00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,253 Oh, well, speaking of lunatics, you know, Karen was recently married... 226 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:03,416 to a pansexual loon named Richard Bates, the writer. 227 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,062 - You know him? - Are you kidding me? 228 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:08,061 He's the man I took in my mouth. 229 00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,727 - Of course he is. - Richard Bates. 230 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:14,599 He wrote the definitive draft of John... 231 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,537 the Michael Mann movie that won me the Academy Award for Best Actor. 232 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:21,678 - It's not about kudos. It's about the work. - Of course not. 233 00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:22,869 Karen. 234 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:26,539 It has been years since we've seen each other, yet you have not aged a day. 235 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:31,415 Your stems, your hindquarters remain glorious. 236 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:35,047 Your skin is flawless. You are a beautiful woman. 237 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,956 - Well, thank you, Eddie. - You will do perfectly. 238 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:40,529 - Watch it, Nero. - Eddie needs my help. 239 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:43,997 Your effluvium is delightful, a rare vintage. 240 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,897 Come, allow me to seduce you. 241 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:48,937 - Fuck off. Go away. - Well, we tried. 242 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,002 Krull. Sorry. 243 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,577 The one thing I know about Atticus is he loves his fans, and we've got... 244 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:59,511 a great, big one right here who would very much like to say hello. 245 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,777 And what's this big fan gonna do with me? 246 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,054 Hey, you. I'm somebody's mother. 247 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:08,192 You're nof mine, love. How about a bit of suction? 248 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,958 Allow me to handle this. 249 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,827 Allow me to handle this. 250 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,842 Well, it looks like we found the party. 251 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,610 - Hello, girls. - Who is this? 252 00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:39,187 Oh, please, Atticus, let me introduce you to my ex-wife. 253 00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,985 - And mine. - And the mother of my child. 254 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,923 - You were both married to this woman? - Yes. Yes, we were. 255 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,292 What the fuck's wrong with you? 256 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,796 How much time do you have? 257 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,895 Marcy. Huge fan. 258 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,866 Finally. A fan. 259 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,869 She loves the musicians. 260 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,440 She had quite a serious fling with Rick Springfield. 261 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,168 Really? You were one of Jessie's girls, were you? 262 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:02,937 Yes. Yes, she was. 263 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,048 She even had the ringtone to prove it. 264 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:08,981 Why is it you never mentioned a fling with a major fucking pop star? 265 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:13,248 I don't know, Stu. Maybe it's because you're so fucking jealous. 266 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,983 Maybe it's because you need to be the only cock in town. 267 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,958 Maybe it's because I fucking love you so much, Marcy. 268 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:22,122 - That is why. - It looks like this meet and greet is over. 269 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:25,462 - Let's go, Marcy. - Yes. Leave her with me. 270 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:28,434 - That's probably not a good idea. - Yeah, we're happy to stay. 271 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,471 You're not actually my type. 272 00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:34,543 I usually go for tall, leggy blondes. 273 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,805 But you're quite sexual, aren't you? 274 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,971 She's incredibly sexual. 275 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,981 Built for speed, born to fuck. 276 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:45,213 Sinking into this woman is like swimming in a vat of exquisite oil. 277 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,854 Jesus Christ, Stu. A vat? 278 00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,493 You make me sound like I'm all stretched out and shit. 279 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,720 - Shut up! - We had a nice sex life ourselves. 280 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,728 It wasn't crazy or anything. 281 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:58,995 A finger up the ass every now and again. A botched threesome or two. 282 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:01,138 But it was quite familiar, comforting. 283 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,295 You have quite a fan club, don't you? 284 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,875 Yeah, looks like I'm queen of the shit pile. 285 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,908 - Go. Get the fuck out of here. - Yeah. 286 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,208 Leave your ex-wife with me. 287 00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:15,375 - Hey. - We're gonna have a chat. 288 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,077 Okay- 289 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,314 Hey. 290 00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,289 So you and Hank, huh? 291 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,693 Once upon a time. 292 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,529 And you and Hank. 293 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,670 Sort of kind of. Something. 294 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,373 - He's really talented. - Yeah. 295 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:42,000 He's talented, but he has a really hard time sustaining it. 296 00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:46,373 Well, I don't know. I think maybe he just needs to find the right motivation. 297 00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,815 Oh, God, I so know where you're at right now. 298 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,656 You just see all this potential, right? 299 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,223 Yeah. 300 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,224 Yeah. Potential's exciting. 301 00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:58,453 Yeah, it is. 302 00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:02,565 But it's really hard to have a long-term relationship with someone else's potential. 303 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,725 Especially if that is what you're looking for. 304 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:09,137 I'd be careful if I was you. 305 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,804 And I kind of was you. 306 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,272 You're gonna get hurt. 307 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,979 Methinks you like this one, Faith. 308 00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:25,417 - What do you think? - She likes him. I can tell. 309 00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:27,250 Who, Hank? 310 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,087 Yeah. I like him. 311 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:33,093 As much as any guy that I choose to spend my time with. 312 00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:37,758 I've seen you on the arm of lots of guys. You seem to have a real connection. 313 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:41,632 He's a good guy. He's sweet to you. Maybe it could be a real thing. 314 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:45,936 You do not have to live happily ever after with someone to make it real. 315 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:48,408 Oh, be good to yourself, Faith. 316 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,910 You deserve it. 317 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,337 Shut up and deal. 318 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:56,947 If I had to pick... 319 00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:01,251 I would say Fetch Live, All Over Your Face... 320 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,552 because that one has all your hits. 321 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,025 That's lovely, dear. 322 00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:10,827 So would you like to blow me, or would you prefer to have actual intercourse? 323 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:13,726 God. Jeez. I don't know. 324 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:16,736 I hadn't really thought about it, so... 325 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,633 That's cute. Of course you thought about it. 326 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,080 Do you wanna go down on me? 327 00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:27,012 I'd prefer not to. It's a little bit intimate... 328 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,881 and also, to be honest, a little bit boring for me. 329 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:35,150 Of course, because I'm just another bang to you. Yeah. 330 00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:38,659 Not at all. The knowledge that I'm giving you this gift... 331 00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:42,822 this opportunity to transcend your everyday suburban existence... 332 00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:46,299 and have sex with a fucking rock star, thereby giving you a story... 333 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,404 for years to come, that's the fun bit. 334 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,666 I don't know, man. This is just so fucked up. 335 00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:54,709 I mean, just... Just take me, okay? 336 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,404 I mean, that's what Rick Springfield would have done. 337 00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,981 He just tore my clothes off and stuck it in... 338 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:04,679 so just fucking do what you want, but just fucking do it already, all right? 339 00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:06,447 Just fucking go. Go. 340 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,428 Hey, you guys. 341 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:16,725 Did you read that Times article about the guy who did the thing... 342 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:21,167 then this other thing happened? Don't know about you, but I found it fascinating. 343 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:25,775 Hank, I am having an intimate moment with Karen, and I will not let you spoil it... 344 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,037 - ...with your incessant verbal diarrhea. - What is it, Hank? 345 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:32,341 - Are you not getting enough attention? - Where is he? 346 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,882 - Where's Atticus? - I haven't the foggiest, my love. 347 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,850 Okay, well, I'm prepared to forgive him. 348 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,957 - Why? - Well, here I was all pissed off... 349 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,923 calling every divorce lawyer, look what come in the mail. 350 00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:48,189 Three, count them, three seven-figure royalty checks. 351 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,630 - Cool. - I'm so lucky. My life's fucking amazing. 352 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,862 If he wants to eat a Mars bar out of some dirty skank's poontang... 353 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:58,907 - ...who am I to judge? - Well, that is a beautiful rationalization... 354 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,772 but in this case you have a right to be slightly miffed. 355 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:05,074 Oh, it's just sex. Why does everyone make such a big deal about it? 356 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:07,217 Fuck if I know, dude. 357 00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:13,655 - Move. - Sorry, missus, I can't do that. 358 00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:15,758 "Sorry, missus, I can't do that." 359 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,760 Hello, darling. 360 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:28,664 Is all forgiven? 361 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,775 You fucking fuckface! 362 00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:36,007 Fuck! Are those my royalty checks? 363 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,114 Get out of my way. 364 00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:40,511 I'm sorry. 365 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:47,123 Come on. 366 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,259 Enough of this foolish cat-and-mouse game. 367 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,126 You are gonna fuck my brains out... 368 00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,165 and you're gonna fuck them out now. 369 00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:02,237 - No means no, you know. - You say no, but your cock begs to differ. 370 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,874 No. He does not have decision-making authority. 371 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,338 Know what it takes to be a rock star's wife? 372 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:09,377 - No. - I have certain skills. 373 00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:13,482 I know how to give sharp and focused head that cuts through the bullshit. 374 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,779 - Sharp? - Plenty of women, all are licking lollipops. 375 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,980 They're lazy. They think by putting it in their mouth... 376 00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:23,786 that's all they need to do, but you and I know that's just the beginning. 377 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,987 - Right. - I know how to get shit done. 378 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:31,430 Now your cock's on the verge of making a decision, Hank. What's it gonna be? 379 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,196 - Everything okay in here? - Things are not as they seem. 380 00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:37,897 Can you give us a fucking minute? 381 00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:39,667 - You don't want to do this. - I do. 382 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:41,242 You love your husband. 383 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,873 - I do. - Yeah. 384 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,174 These are not the droids you're looking for. 385 00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,051 Fuck! 386 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:50,845 Fuck! 387 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:53,016 Jesus. 388 00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,628 Thank you. That was perfect timing. 389 00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:01,060 I had a feeling you might need a little rescuing. 390 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:02,630 Yeah. 391 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,333 What? 392 00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:15,536 Fuck. 393 00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:17,811 - I get it. - Sorry. 394 00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:20,916 You should go. Go, go, go. 395 00:22:27,579 --> 00:22:30,082 Karen. Karen, this is bullshit. 396 00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:31,750 He poops on people. 397 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,090 Maybe not anymore, but he has in the past... 398 00:22:34,252 --> 00:22:37,392 and that is... That's a serious fucking character flaw. 399 00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:48,273 They've been in there a really long time. 400 00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:51,744 Maybe they're just talking. You know, like we're just talking. 401 00:22:52,838 --> 00:22:55,614 - Sure. Right. Just talking. - Yeah. 402 00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:58,815 My advice, just fucking move on, dude. 403 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:00,320 I'm not sure that's possible. 404 00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:03,983 Can't begrudge your lady for going with Eddie Nero. Dude's fucking handsome. 405 00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:05,389 But Karen's not like that. 406 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:08,497 What kind of fucked-up, madonna-whore shit is that? 407 00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:11,133 Just because you love her, she crapped out your kid... 408 00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,166 she's not entitled to bang a star? 409 00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:16,363 She can, but that doesn't mean I can't be pissed off about it. 410 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:17,700 Okay- 411 00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:19,604 Then play it cool, man. 412 00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:21,267 That's the move. 413 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:23,140 Never let the bitches see you sweat. 414 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,849 Moody. 415 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:33,589 That woman is amazing. 416 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,452 Not the face. Never the face. 417 00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:42,064 You hit me in my face. That's a national treasure. 418 00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:43,961 That's an act of treason. 419 00:23:46,691 --> 00:23:49,365 - Motherfucker! Come on. - I think I pulled a hammie. 420 00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:51,940 Cocksucker. Son of a shitty, fucking... 421 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,543 Now, the drunken master. 422 00:23:57,269 --> 00:24:01,274 Get away from my fucking table! Goddamn it. Fuck. 423 00:24:04,776 --> 00:24:06,084 Shit. 424 00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,851 Now it begins. 425 00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,229 Okay, then. 426 00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:18,733 Ladies and gentlemen... 427 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:21,163 yes, I have an announcement to make. 428 00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:26,835 I have fucked up this storied life something proper. 429 00:24:26,998 --> 00:24:30,707 All my life, I have loved exactly one woman... 430 00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:32,746 with all my heart. 431 00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:36,447 Have I fucked countless others? Yes. 432 00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:40,317 Does that make me a bad man? I... 433 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:44,154 I don't think so. But in the court of public opinion... 434 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:50,096 I am a scoundrel, a rogue, a rake. 435 00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:53,498 Perhaps even a rapscallion. 436 00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:58,837 But the fact is... 437 00:24:59,531 --> 00:25:02,239 I can't live without you, Natalie. 438 00:25:03,401 --> 00:25:05,403 Olly, no, put the fucking gun down. 439 00:25:05,570 --> 00:25:09,382 - Olly. Put it down. - Olly? Really? Olly? 440 00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:13,387 - Did you think he was born Atticus Fetch? - It's true, Hank. 441 00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:16,355 I had to create Atticus Fetch. 442 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:20,019 And now I have to kill him before he kills me. 443 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,132 - That doesn't make any sense. - It makes a lot of sense actually. 444 00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:24,665 Yeah, he created a monster... 445 00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:26,393 - Shut the fuck up. - ...and now he wants to kill the monster... 446 00:25:26,558 --> 00:25:28,333 before the monster kills him. 447 00:25:28,493 --> 00:25:31,497 I mean, I've felt that way myself. I'm sure a lot of people have. 448 00:25:31,663 --> 00:25:33,802 You're not alone, Atticus. 449 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,079 I'm sure we can work it all out. 450 00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:39,215 Wait, does that mean you'll take me back? 451 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,510 Fuck no. You're a lying, cheating... 452 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:43,880 fucking scumbag. 453 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:45,919 - Okay, I'll take you back. - Really? 454 00:25:46,077 --> 00:25:48,785 - You will? - We'll figure it out, doll. 455 00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:51,450 I'm just gonna have to keep you on a very short leash. 456 00:25:51,616 --> 00:25:53,653 That sounds good. I like the sound of that. 457 00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:56,594 That's what this boy needs, some discipline. 458 00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:59,292 - A little mother's discipline. - Mommy's discipline. 459 00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:01,733 Okay, now, just give me the gun. 460 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,303 Give Mama the gun. Come on. 461 00:26:04,462 --> 00:26:06,965 Come on. There we go. 462 00:26:13,038 --> 00:26:15,518 Why did you hit me? 463 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:18,814 It's not even fucking loaded, you pussy. 464 00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:43,271 Can you slow down? 465 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,346 I don't know why you're so fucking angry. 466 00:26:45,503 --> 00:26:49,280 I'm not the one who disappeared into the bedroom with that weirdo degenerate. 467 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:53,116 You've got a fucking nerve to take issue with anything I do ever. 468 00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,951 Yes, no, I... You're right. 469 00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:57,957 What am I supposed to do, just sit there and watch it happen? 470 00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:01,620 Karen, why the fuck did you come here tonight anyway? 471 00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:04,127 You know why? 472 00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:08,030 Because there's always this voice in the back of my head... 473 00:27:08,193 --> 00:27:11,003 that says, "Maybe this time it will be different. 474 00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:13,733 Maybe the stars will align... 475 00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:16,344 and there will be this magic moment between us... 476 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,913 where everything will be okay again." 477 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,388 But there's always something or someone in the way. 478 00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:29,491 Karen, you want me not to see anybody else, just say the word. 479 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:34,222 But if you keep me at arm's length, what am I to do, sit around with a cock cage... 480 00:27:34,386 --> 00:27:36,764 and hope you'll have some epiphany about us? 481 00:27:36,921 --> 00:27:40,801 Do you honestly think that I care about you fucking someone else? 482 00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:44,930 If we're not together, I don't expect you to have taken some vow of celibacy. 483 00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:48,942 It's just, when I see someone look at you... 484 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,046 the way that I used to look at you... 485 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:54,609 I fucking hate that. 486 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,719 It makes me sick to my stomach. 487 00:28:02,881 --> 00:28:05,589 And the worst part of it is that I turned into you tonight. 488 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:09,960 I... I don't want to be that person. I don't want to start playing games... 489 00:28:10,121 --> 00:28:15,036 and, like, trying to get back at you and trying to hurt you. 490 00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:17,667 I don't want that either.