1 00:00:00,373 --> 00:00:03,103 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:05,610 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:07,703 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:14,881 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:17,724 --> 00:00:19,624 Michael Bluth had called a meeting... 6 00:00:19,726 --> 00:00:21,626 with the family's longtime attorney... 7 00:00:21,728 --> 00:00:23,958 to discuss his father's incarceration. 8 00:00:24,064 --> 00:00:28,728 I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay. 9 00:00:28,835 --> 00:00:31,326 But he was finding it difficult to get any answers. 10 00:00:31,438 --> 00:00:34,407 - How long was I on the phone? - Twenty-five minutes. 11 00:00:34,508 --> 00:00:37,671 With the cell phone charges, I'm gonna round it out to about an hour... 12 00:00:37,777 --> 00:00:40,507 'cause it's easier to bill... all right. 13 00:00:40,614 --> 00:00:43,913 - Anything else to go over? - We've got everything else to go over. 14 00:00:44,017 --> 00:00:47,475 We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail. 15 00:00:47,587 --> 00:00:52,456 Okay. First of all... What are you doing? Pilates? 16 00:00:52,559 --> 00:00:55,995 Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that. 17 00:00:56,096 --> 00:00:58,656 Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that. 18 00:00:58,765 --> 00:01:01,632 He was, however, getting along with his sister... 19 00:01:01,735 --> 00:01:03,930 which was unwelcome news to their mother... 20 00:01:04,037 --> 00:01:06,403 who feared this unity might be used against her. 21 00:01:06,506 --> 00:01:08,406 I do have some big news. 22 00:01:08,508 --> 00:01:10,703 It's going to cost you a little money... 20,000, something like that. 23 00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:15,543 The courts have agreed to let your father out of prison. 24 00:01:15,649 --> 00:01:17,549 - This is a lawyer! - He's a master! 25 00:01:17,651 --> 00:01:19,744 For the entire afternoon. 26 00:01:19,853 --> 00:01:22,344 What do you mean "afternoon"? What afternoon? 27 00:01:22,455 --> 00:01:25,720 The day before Christmas, in time for the Living Classics Pageant... 28 00:01:25,825 --> 00:01:28,020 because I know how important that is to all of you. 29 00:01:28,128 --> 00:01:30,562 The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition... 30 00:01:30,664 --> 00:01:34,225 consists oflive representations of classic works of art. 31 00:01:34,334 --> 00:01:37,030 The Bluth family has participated not only as a patron... 32 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:40,300 but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit... 33 00:01:40,407 --> 00:01:44,036 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 34 00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:46,237 I don't really want to be Adam this year. 35 00:01:46,346 --> 00:01:48,678 Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line... 36 00:01:48,782 --> 00:01:51,273 behind, what, about five homos. 37 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,312 That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. 38 00:01:56,423 --> 00:01:58,755 It's just that I have one down at the office now... 39 00:01:58,858 --> 00:02:00,951 and, I mean, it is every day. 40 00:02:01,061 --> 00:02:04,895 I would be happy to play Adam. I'd prefer a speaking part... 41 00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:07,990 Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting. 42 00:02:08,101 --> 00:02:11,070 - Zing! - No, no, seriously. I don't want to play Adam. 43 00:02:11,171 --> 00:02:13,605 Buster, every year we go through this song and dance... 44 00:02:13,707 --> 00:02:18,269 and every year you say, "Thank you, Mama, for making me play Adam." 45 00:02:18,378 --> 00:02:21,142 - You're doing it. - This concerned Buster... 46 00:02:21,247 --> 00:02:23,579 as he'd been secretly dating his mother's best friend... 47 00:02:23,683 --> 00:02:26,675 and chief social rival, Lucille Austero. 48 00:02:26,786 --> 00:02:29,254 Can't we just stay here and play poker again? 49 00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:31,790 You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills. 50 00:02:31,891 --> 00:02:35,452 No. Buster, for God's sake, there is music to hear... 51 00:02:35,562 --> 00:02:38,087 places to go, envy to stir. 52 00:02:38,198 --> 00:02:40,996 Look, I'm tired of keeping our love a secret. 53 00:02:41,101 --> 00:02:43,695 We are going out, and that is that! 54 00:02:43,803 --> 00:02:46,704 - Oh. - Oh, Buster. Okay, I'm okay. 55 00:02:46,806 --> 00:02:48,637 I'm okay. 56 00:02:48,742 --> 00:02:50,642 Okay. I'm gonna get out of your hair. 57 00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:52,769 - We'll talk about this money later in the week. - Excuse me. 58 00:02:52,879 --> 00:02:55,905 We're not going to pay $20,000 to get my Dad out for one day. 59 00:02:56,016 --> 00:02:59,383 No. It's a bond. It's all refundable, unlike my time. 60 00:02:59,486 --> 00:03:01,454 It's been a complete waste of two hours, okay? 61 00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:03,454 We're just not going to do it, and that's that. 62 00:03:03,556 --> 00:03:06,719 - Are you writing two hours? - No, I'm taking notes on the case. 63 00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:08,726 - Let me just see what you just wrote. - You're scaring me. 64 00:03:08,828 --> 00:03:13,356 just leave it alone! It is a gift from a client! Ruining a good meeting. 65 00:03:13,466 --> 00:03:16,560 - Barry's very good. - He's an idiot. 66 00:03:16,670 --> 00:03:18,570 Exactly. We're not trying to get Dad out for a night. 67 00:03:18,672 --> 00:03:20,572 We're trying to get him out for good. 68 00:03:20,674 --> 00:03:23,165 We're gonna get a new lawyer. I actually know of one who's available. 69 00:03:23,276 --> 00:03:25,176 His name's WayneJarvis. He's a top guy. 70 00:03:25,278 --> 00:03:27,337 WayneJarvis had become famous... 71 00:03:27,447 --> 00:03:29,347 after an employment discrimination suit... 72 00:03:29,449 --> 00:03:32,384 against the family's current attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn. 73 00:03:32,485 --> 00:03:35,716 It'll be a long time before Barry Zuckerkorn calls anyone a homo again. 74 00:03:35,822 --> 00:03:38,484 You know, I am really happy that you two are in agreement... 75 00:03:38,591 --> 00:03:40,718 but we're not getting rid of Barry. 76 00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:43,819 He's like family, and you can't fire family. 77 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:46,831 Yeah, I know. Hey, Maeby. 78 00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:49,265 Maeby, where have you been? 79 00:03:49,369 --> 00:03:52,668 You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right? 80 00:03:52,772 --> 00:03:54,865 Uh, yes, of course we remember... 81 00:03:54,974 --> 00:03:56,874 and we were worried sick, young lady. 82 00:03:56,976 --> 00:04:01,504 She's fine. Our daughter's all right, everybody, so... 83 00:04:01,614 --> 00:04:04,606 - You said you didn't want her to come. - I said I didn't want you to come. 84 00:04:04,718 --> 00:04:08,381 - Oh, that makes more sense. - Now she's going to think we're totally self-involved. 85 00:04:08,488 --> 00:04:11,685 I can fix this. Buster's probably still in the lobby. 86 00:04:11,791 --> 00:04:14,692 Let me go see if I can't get him to give me the part of Adam. 87 00:04:14,794 --> 00:04:17,524 And I'll see if I can get some money from my mom. - Lupe! 88 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:19,530 There are some juice glasses on the sofa table. 89 00:04:19,632 --> 00:04:21,623 Mama, I'll help you clean up. 90 00:04:21,735 --> 00:04:23,532 There are some salad plates on the piano. 91 00:04:23,636 --> 00:04:26,503 Wow. What a party. You make it seem so effortless. 92 00:04:26,606 --> 00:04:28,597 What do you need money for? A divorce? 93 00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:31,404 No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. 94 00:04:31,511 --> 00:04:33,638 - It's my credit card debt. - Forget it. 95 00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:35,544 Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me. 96 00:04:35,648 --> 00:04:39,049 Maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money... 97 00:04:39,152 --> 00:04:42,053 to someone he calls a "stay-in-bed mom." 98 00:04:42,155 --> 00:04:45,784 - He said that about me? - I thought it was harsh. 99 00:04:45,892 --> 00:04:49,020 But, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. 100 00:04:49,129 --> 00:04:51,757 A stay-in-bed mom. 101 00:04:51,865 --> 00:04:55,130 Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. 102 00:04:55,235 --> 00:04:57,066 His words. 103 00:04:57,170 --> 00:04:59,570 - I can't believe him. - I know! 104 00:04:59,672 --> 00:05:02,641 just when you were getting along so well. 105 00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,507 They've got to be kidding me. 106 00:05:13,990 --> 00:05:16,300 Michael's brother Gob, meanwhile... 107 00:05:16,335 --> 00:05:20,396 had missed the meeting that morning after being delayed by his girlfriend Marta. 108 00:05:20,504 --> 00:05:23,200 ?: Te quiero! 109 00:05:23,307 --> 00:05:25,901 - English, please. - I love you. 110 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,103 Great. Now I'm late. 111 00:05:28,212 --> 00:05:30,544 And while Gob took his girlfriend for granted... 112 00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:33,310 Michael was learning Spanish to get closer to her. 113 00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,783 That is not something I can bring to my boss. 114 00:05:35,886 --> 00:05:40,255 Unfortunately, the one tape he could find was oflittle use to him. 115 00:05:40,357 --> 00:05:42,257 Are you going to the complimentary breakfast? 116 00:05:42,359 --> 00:05:44,657 That'll get her hot. 117 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,731 Well, if it isn't the boy who lives under the stairs. 118 00:05:47,832 --> 00:05:49,732 - Hey, Gob. - What are you doing, learning Spanish? 119 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:54,464 Nope. It's, uh... It's something for work, so, yes, uh, yeah. 120 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:00,945 Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 121 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:02,344 Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 122 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:04,914 to take his place as Adam. 123 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:07,313 I don't know, Uncle Buster. 124 00:06:07,418 --> 00:06:09,818 - Well, you don't have the "frontspiece" yet. - "Frontspiece"? 125 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,584 Look, I don't want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You're going to love it. 126 00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:18,651 You just can't do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. 127 00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:22,459 They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it. 128 00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:26,662 And Maeby was teaching her parents a lesson for forgetting her... 129 00:06:26,770 --> 00:06:29,330 Who knows how long I'll be gone? 130 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,170 when she spotted George Michael. 131 00:06:32,276 --> 00:06:35,040 Nice pecs. Got a kickin' bod. 132 00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:38,946 Thus, George Michael found a compelling reason to keep the muscle suit on. 133 00:06:41,285 --> 00:06:43,185 Law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn. 134 00:06:43,287 --> 00:06:44,982 It's Michael Bluth for Barry. 135 00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:48,820 - I'm not here. - Barry's not here. Can I give her a message? 136 00:06:48,926 --> 00:06:51,156 Tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time... 137 00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:54,060 and I'm not paying for this phone call. 138 00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:56,861 I am not a girl, you bow-tied... 139 00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:59,458 Go on. Call me something. I'm redoing my kitchen. 140 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:02,505 That's it. I've had it with this jerk Barry. 141 00:07:02,606 --> 00:07:04,904 I'm going to make Mom sit down with Wayne whether she likes it or not. 142 00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:08,035 - You're the jerk. - Did I just wake you up? I didn't know you were home. 143 00:07:08,145 --> 00:07:10,909 No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day. 144 00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,915 Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael... 145 00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:16,077 that she tried meditating to calm herself... 146 00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:18,951 but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap. 147 00:07:19,056 --> 00:07:21,217 Yeah, this suitcase should be big enough. 148 00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:24,488 Where is all this coming from? I thought we were getting along. 149 00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:27,359 Yeah, so did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother... 150 00:07:27,464 --> 00:07:30,991 that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom. 151 00:07:31,101 --> 00:07:33,001 That doesn't even sound like me. 152 00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:36,163 That sounds like Mom or Bruce Vilanch. 153 00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:38,571 - Could be Bruce Vilanch. - Then why would she say it? 154 00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:41,201 - Because we're getting along. - Because we're friends again. 155 00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:43,837 You gotta remember Mom typically has nothing in her system... 156 00:07:43,948 --> 00:07:45,939 except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill. 157 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,245 Speaking of which... 158 00:07:48,352 --> 00:07:50,684 Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink... 159 00:07:50,788 --> 00:07:52,688 and air their grievances about their mother. 160 00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:56,487 She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working. 161 00:07:56,594 --> 00:07:59,358 - And how's it going with you and Tobias? - It's not working. 162 00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:02,694 And that's why I wanted her help with my credit card debt. 163 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,530 I'm trying to take at least some of the pressure off this marriage. 164 00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:09,037 And if anything, it's worse now that we're sharing a bedroom. 165 00:08:09,139 --> 00:08:11,937 You guys were not sharing a bedroom before? 166 00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:14,374 Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on. 167 00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:18,744 - What's the deal with the cutoffs? - You've got to promise not to tell anyone this. 168 00:08:18,849 --> 00:08:22,546 - Okay. - He's a never-nude. 169 00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:24,985 Is that exactly what it sounds like? 170 00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:27,421 Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction... 171 00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:30,118 of never being able to be completely naked. 172 00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:33,162 Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder? 173 00:08:33,264 --> 00:08:37,200 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed. 174 00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:40,327 I am completely undressed. 175 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:43,235 - I thought he just liked cutoffs. - Me too. 176 00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:45,740 What about you? What's going on with your love life? 177 00:08:45,843 --> 00:08:47,743 Have you even met anyone since your wife? 178 00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:50,746 That is the one subject I am not eager to talk about, Lindsay. 179 00:08:50,848 --> 00:08:53,112 I love Marta. 180 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,785 - Mom's housekeeper? - Gob's girlfriend. 181 00:08:57,888 --> 00:09:00,356 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 182 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:04,291 Listen. You're a great guy, and if she doesn't see that... 183 00:09:04,395 --> 00:09:07,523 - then someone else will. - You know what else, Lindsay? You're great. 184 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:11,692 And I'm gonna move some money around if it's gonna help you get out of debt. 185 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:13,201 - No, Michael. - Yeah. 186 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:16,865 The hell with Mom. And here. Mom's never gonna get between us again. 187 00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:20,670 The next day, Buster, having pawned off playing Adam... 188 00:09:20,778 --> 00:09:23,747 went to Lucille 2 to ask her out for Christmas Eve. 189 00:09:23,847 --> 00:09:27,943 That is terrific 'cause I got two tickets to the pageant! 190 00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:31,783 My... My mother's going to be there. 191 00:09:31,889 --> 00:09:33,789 And George Michael was trying to pass... 192 00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:36,223 - as a more muscular boy than he actually was. - One hundred. 193 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:38,295 One hundred? I had you at 10. 194 00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:41,990 I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total. So what's with the suitcase? 195 00:09:42,099 --> 00:09:44,795 It's a little test to get my parents to notice me. 196 00:09:44,902 --> 00:09:46,802 You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you? 197 00:09:46,904 --> 00:09:51,238 I've got a really good body, so... no. 198 00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,469 Hey, gang. What you doing? 199 00:09:53,577 --> 00:09:55,807 - Just packing up. Packing it on up. - Uh-huh. 200 00:09:55,913 --> 00:09:58,143 Listen, can I talk to you alone for a moment? 201 00:09:58,248 --> 00:10:01,684 - I'll leave you two alone here. - Oh, no, George Michael, I meant you. 202 00:10:01,785 --> 00:10:04,345 Maeby, can we have the room? 203 00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:12,051 So, as you know, I was hoping to play Adam in this thing... 204 00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:16,189 and I want you to know that I am not threatened. 205 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,564 You know, I'd be happy to let you play Adam. 206 00:10:18,669 --> 00:10:20,762 Give me the suit. Give me the suit. 207 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:24,534 I'm actually wearing it right now, and I can't tell you why. 208 00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:26,541 You're wearing it right now? 209 00:10:26,643 --> 00:10:29,373 I have to wear it all the time. You'd never understand. 210 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,847 Oh, please. I'll never under... 211 00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:36,716 I'll never understand... that you can never be nude? 212 00:10:42,993 --> 00:10:46,952 I understand more than you'll never know. 213 00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:55,370 Yikes. 214 00:10:55,472 --> 00:10:57,906 Michael finally arranged a meeting with attorney WayneJarvis. 215 00:10:58,008 --> 00:10:59,908 Looking for a more professional approach to our representation. 216 00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:01,307 Well, I'm a professional. 217 00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:04,404 - I'm serious, and I'm a professional. - That's fantastic. 218 00:11:04,515 --> 00:11:06,949 - So how long have you been practicing... - I also don't like small talk. 219 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:10,383 I find that unprofessional. Why should I be billing you for small talk... 220 00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:12,387 when I'm enjoying it as much as you are? 221 00:11:12,489 --> 00:11:15,549 Then this must be a freebie 'cause I'm having a ball. 222 00:11:15,659 --> 00:11:18,059 When you're ready to get serious, give me a call. 223 00:11:18,162 --> 00:11:22,622 No, no! No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm serious. I'm ready. 224 00:11:22,733 --> 00:11:26,601 Good. If you retain my services, I will get your father out of jail... 225 00:11:26,703 --> 00:11:28,603 and we will be countersuing before the end of the year. 226 00:11:28,705 --> 00:11:31,401 We're gonna get this company's name back to where it started. 227 00:11:31,508 --> 00:11:34,068 - Or hopefully higher. - I didn't say that. Don't hold me to that. 228 00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:37,978 I won't, and I appreciate that to a wonderful degree. 229 00:11:38,081 --> 00:11:40,481 My mother is on her way up here... 230 00:11:40,584 --> 00:11:44,281 and she's resistant to the idea of hiring a new attorney. 231 00:11:44,388 --> 00:11:46,856 If she even sees you, she probably won't come in the room. 232 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,482 I shall duck behind the couch. 233 00:11:49,593 --> 00:11:52,027 What a pro. 234 00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:54,888 - Michael. - Hi. 235 00:11:54,998 --> 00:11:58,229 I need to get the money to get your father out for the pageant. 236 00:11:58,335 --> 00:12:01,771 Actually, that's not why I called you here today, and I'm not doing that. 237 00:12:01,872 --> 00:12:04,466 I gave that money to Lindsay to pay off her credit card debt. 238 00:12:04,575 --> 00:12:08,033 - What'd she do, get you drunk? - No, we just, uh, well... 239 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,807 We did drink a little bit. How'd you know that? 240 00:12:10,914 --> 00:12:12,814 Because that's what she said she'd do. 241 00:12:12,916 --> 00:12:16,044 I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." 242 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,451 Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. 243 00:12:18,555 --> 00:12:20,546 Oh. Her words. 244 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,625 She set me up? 245 00:12:22,726 --> 00:12:27,459 All that stuff about her marital troubles and Tobias being a never-nude? 246 00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:31,466 A never-nude? I thought he just liked cutoffs. 247 00:12:31,568 --> 00:12:33,627 How do you treat somebody in your own family like that... 248 00:12:33,737 --> 00:12:38,106 lying and deceiving and saying anything just to get your own way? 249 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,972 - So what did you want to see me about? - Hmm? 250 00:12:41,078 --> 00:12:44,639 Oh, um, there's a big bowl of candy in my office. 251 00:12:44,748 --> 00:12:47,478 - Why don't you go eat it? - WayneJarvis, attorney at law. 252 00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:51,918 I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office. 253 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,513 Lindsay. 254 00:12:57,541 --> 00:13:00,374 - What are you doing here? - I had to get away from Marta. 255 00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:05,312 If I have to smell another meal of fish, rice and mango, I'm gonna kill somebody. 256 00:13:05,415 --> 00:13:08,976 - Now Michael's learning Spanish. What's up with that? - Oh, who knows? 257 00:13:09,086 --> 00:13:10,986 He won't get your father out of jail for a night. 258 00:13:11,088 --> 00:13:13,648 - He's bringing in a new attorney. - New attorney? 259 00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:16,692 And he's learning Spanish? 260 00:13:16,793 --> 00:13:18,784 He's hiding something. 261 00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:21,523 And I intend to find out what it is. 262 00:13:21,631 --> 00:13:25,226 Do yourself a favor. Get him drunk. 263 00:13:31,475 --> 00:13:33,500 Barry. 264 00:13:34,845 --> 00:13:37,279 I see you're getting closer to our attorney. 265 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:41,010 Well, I just want you to know that I won't be needing your help after all. 266 00:13:41,118 --> 00:13:45,817 My brother Michael came through as he always does and as you never do. 267 00:13:45,922 --> 00:13:49,881 Whatever it takes to get your relationship with that never-nude back on track. 268 00:13:51,995 --> 00:13:54,361 - Michael told you that? - He couldn't wait to. 269 00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:56,830 And later, while Michael was meeting with Wayne... 270 00:13:56,933 --> 00:14:00,266 My thing with Tobias was a secret like you stealing your brother's girlfriend! 271 00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:03,066 - I open up to you, and you run and tell Mommy! - Excuse me. 272 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:05,038 Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. 273 00:14:05,142 --> 00:14:08,805 Like it all wasn't just lies to get me to pay that debt. Isn't that why you got me drunk? 274 00:14:08,912 --> 00:14:11,039 - I got you drunk. - Mom told me about your little plan. 275 00:14:11,148 --> 00:14:14,413 - What plan? I had a great time last night! - So did I! 276 00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:16,884 - Then why are we yelling at each other? - Mom. 277 00:14:16,987 --> 00:14:20,388 - Unbelievable. - She did it again. 278 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:23,391 - All right. We've got to teach her a lesson. - Hmm. 279 00:14:24,728 --> 00:14:28,630 Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion... 280 00:14:28,732 --> 00:14:31,257 and we were wondering if there's some sort of legal way... 281 00:14:31,368 --> 00:14:34,098 that we can humiliate our mother. 282 00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:36,570 Something shaming, something public. 283 00:14:36,673 --> 00:14:39,836 I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? 284 00:14:39,943 --> 00:14:41,911 Professional. 285 00:14:48,685 --> 00:14:50,585 So how are we going to screw Mom? 286 00:14:50,687 --> 00:14:52,348 - Maybe we can get Barry to help. - Forget it. 287 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,516 I think I was right about them all along. You know Barry's taking Mom to the pageant? 288 00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:57,354 - On a date? - Yeah. 289 00:14:57,461 --> 00:15:02,831 Ugh! If Dad could see her on a date with Barry, he'd go crazy. 290 00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:05,629 Which would allow us to hire Wayne. 291 00:15:07,504 --> 00:15:10,530 How do you feel about staying in debt just a little bit longer? 292 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,041 So they decided to spend the money Michael had promised Lindsay... 293 00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:18,171 to get their father out for the pageant, where he'd catch his wife with Barry. 294 00:15:18,281 --> 00:15:21,842 Maeby, too, continued to try to teach her parents a lesson. 295 00:15:21,952 --> 00:15:24,512 Okay, so I printed the fake airline ticket from my computer. 296 00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:28,113 If my parents miss this, I really might go to South America. 297 00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:30,785 - That says "Portugal." - That's right. 298 00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:35,024 Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket, but Gob did... 299 00:15:35,131 --> 00:15:37,031 "Portugal." 300 00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,465 which confirmed his suspicions. 301 00:15:39,569 --> 00:15:42,163 Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh, Mikey? 302 00:15:42,272 --> 00:15:45,571 And Buster finally gave in to Lucille 2's wishes. 303 00:15:45,675 --> 00:15:49,076 You ready to show me off before God and the whole world? 304 00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:51,374 It's not my dad's reaction I'm worried about. 305 00:15:51,481 --> 00:15:55,577 And George Michael finally saw the painting he was going to be re-creating. 306 00:15:59,456 --> 00:16:02,983 And then what "frontspiece"meant. 307 00:16:08,999 --> 00:16:13,936 George Sr. got his 24 hours of freedom as the pageant finally began. 308 00:16:14,037 --> 00:16:17,768 You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed. 309 00:16:17,874 --> 00:16:21,810 You know, you were so still and godlike. 310 00:16:21,912 --> 00:16:24,278 It was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer. 311 00:16:25,849 --> 00:16:27,749 Glad I could make a difference. 312 00:16:27,851 --> 00:16:30,513 Michael and Lindsay searched the crowd for their mother and Barry... 313 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:34,078 so they could revel in the public shaming they had engineered. 314 00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:38,126 - Mom, what the hell are you doing? - But instead they found her with Wayne. 315 00:16:38,228 --> 00:16:40,128 I don't have to answer that. 316 00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:42,391 I don't know which one of you I'm more disappointed in. 317 00:16:42,499 --> 00:16:44,524 No, it's Wayne. Wayne... 318 00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:47,262 - I have needs. I am a man! - Hey, watch... 319 00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:50,134 What's the difference? Your father doesn't care about me. 320 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,731 Barry tells me he's not even trying to get out of prison. 321 00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:55,606 - Mom, he's here. Dad's here. - He's here? 322 00:16:55,712 --> 00:16:58,044 - Yeah, he's here. - Why did you do this? 323 00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:00,480 - We were trying to teach you a lesson. - You idiots! 324 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:03,712 - If he sees me with Wayne... - We'll be stuck with Barry. 325 00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:06,812 I shall duck behind that little garbage car. 326 00:17:08,258 --> 00:17:10,158 Guy's a pro. 327 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,160 And now, ladies and gentlemen... 328 00:17:12,262 --> 00:17:14,992 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 329 00:17:15,098 --> 00:17:18,295 And George Michael made his debut... 330 00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:20,801 Hey, that's my... Yikes. 331 00:17:20,904 --> 00:17:22,838 breaking the pageant's cardinal rule. 332 00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:24,566 How dare he! 333 00:17:24,674 --> 00:17:27,643 Oh, stop booing! There's nothing wrong with it. 334 00:17:27,744 --> 00:17:31,737 There are dozens of us. Dozens! 335 00:17:31,848 --> 00:17:33,941 Buster arrived with Lucille Austero... 336 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:37,850 and naturally assumed the yells of disgust were directed toward him. 337 00:17:37,954 --> 00:17:40,081 - What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you? 338 00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,351 Buster? 339 00:17:42,459 --> 00:17:44,450 Oh, God! I'm sorry. 340 00:17:44,561 --> 00:17:47,928 I'm sorry, Lucille. Yeah. Lucille. 341 00:17:48,031 --> 00:17:49,999 Ma, I'm sorry! 342 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:54,628 Man! That old lady has really done a number on you, hasn't she? 343 00:17:55,939 --> 00:17:59,204 But George Michael wasn't the only problem with the painting. 344 00:17:59,309 --> 00:18:01,937 - Where is God? - There is no God! 345 00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:07,115 There goes my credit card payment. 346 00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,481 Dad! Dad! 347 00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:11,554 Hey! Dad! 348 00:18:13,223 --> 00:18:15,623 - Excuse me. - Dad! 349 00:18:15,725 --> 00:18:19,320 - Hey, Dad, get back here! - No! I'm not going back! 350 00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:21,329 Dad, come here! 351 00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:25,390 - Dad! - Michael, I'm onto you. 352 00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:28,164 The Spanish lessons, the lawyer. 353 00:18:28,271 --> 00:18:32,071 - If you're heading for Portugal, it's due south! - What? No, it isn't. 354 00:18:32,175 --> 00:18:34,837 Dad, you're not gonna outrun me in that dress. 355 00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:38,903 - Let go! For God's sakes, I'm not even wearing a jock. - Dad, are you going too? 356 00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:45,183 No one is going to Portugal, you idiot! 357 00:18:45,288 --> 00:18:48,553 Lindsay and I broke Dad out of jail for a day to catch Mom on a date. 358 00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:51,354 Your mother is on a date? Oh. 359 00:18:51,461 --> 00:18:52,723 Dad! 360 00:18:52,829 --> 00:18:56,162 Oh, oh. 361 00:18:56,266 --> 00:18:58,894 - Dad? - And so, many in the Bluth family... 362 00:18:59,002 --> 00:19:01,937 gathered together for Christmas Eve... at prison. 363 00:19:02,038 --> 00:19:04,666 - Hey, where'd your muscle suit go? - Wait. You knew? 364 00:19:04,774 --> 00:19:06,173 Yeah. 365 00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:08,210 I took it off. 366 00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:13,081 You did? 367 00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:19,321 You have made some tremendous strides today. 368 00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:23,017 Ever get the feeling like you don't even matter? 369 00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:25,390 Only when I'm around my children. 370 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:29,363 You reach a certain age, and you have to practically scream to get noticed. 371 00:19:29,466 --> 00:19:33,368 They turn you into a monster, and then they call you one. 372 00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:35,870 I don't think you're a monster. 373 00:19:35,972 --> 00:19:37,872 And I think you're a lovely girl. 374 00:19:37,974 --> 00:19:40,238 You know what? 375 00:19:40,343 --> 00:19:42,743 I think you and I ought to spend more time together. 376 00:19:42,846 --> 00:19:44,973 Yeah. 377 00:19:46,216 --> 00:19:49,777 - That'll drive them crazy. - Exactly. 378 00:19:49,886 --> 00:19:51,786 And Michael was forced to, once again... 379 00:19:51,888 --> 00:19:54,356 call in the counsel of Barry Zuckerkorn. 380 00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:56,618 Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve. 381 00:19:56,726 --> 00:20:00,059 Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double. 382 00:20:00,163 --> 00:20:02,290 So, they're not filing charges. 383 00:20:02,398 --> 00:20:06,960 I got them to call your flee from justice "religious expression." 384 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,834 - This is a lawyer. - Yeah, he's... he's very good. 385 00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:13,067 You're gonna have to forfeit that bond. I was way off about that. 386 00:20:13,176 --> 00:20:15,303 Thanks again, Mikey. 387 00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:20,415 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 388 00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:23,543 Are all the guys in here, you know... 389 00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:26,451 Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them. 390 00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:29,923 Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. 391 00:20:31,995 --> 00:20:34,657 - Hope? - Think. 392 00:20:34,764 --> 00:20:38,427 - How'd it go? - Well, the bad news is you're in debt again... 393 00:20:38,535 --> 00:20:41,129 and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry. 394 00:20:41,237 --> 00:20:45,435 The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again. 395 00:20:46,543 --> 00:20:49,535 - Well, at least we're still pals, huh? - Yeah. 396 00:20:50,947 --> 00:20:54,280 That's not really doing it for me this time. 397 00:20:54,384 --> 00:20:56,284 Yeah.