1 00:00:02,456 --> 00:00:05,186 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:05,293 --> 00:00:07,693 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:07,795 --> 00:00:09,786 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:15,303 --> 00:00:16,964 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:19,807 --> 00:00:21,707 [Man Narrating] Michael Bluth had called a meeting... 6 00:00:21,809 --> 00:00:23,709 with the family's longtime attorney... 7 00:00:23,811 --> 00:00:26,041 to discuss his father's incarceration. 8 00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:30,811 I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay. 9 00:00:30,918 --> 00:00:33,409 But he was finding it difficult to get any answers. 10 00:00:33,521 --> 00:00:36,490 - How long was I on the phone? - Twenty-five minutes. 11 00:00:36,591 --> 00:00:39,754 With the cell phone charges, I'm gonna round it out to about an hour... 12 00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:42,590 'cause it's easier to bill... all right. 13 00:00:42,697 --> 00:00:45,996 - Anything else to go over? - [Michael] We've got everything else to go over. 14 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:49,558 We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail. 15 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:54,539 Okay. First of all... What are you doing? Pilates? 16 00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:58,078 Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that. 17 00:00:58,179 --> 00:01:00,739 Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that. 18 00:01:00,848 --> 00:01:03,715 [Narrator] He was, however, getting along with his sister... 19 00:01:03,818 --> 00:01:06,013 which was unwelcome news to their mother... 20 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,486 who feared this unity might be used against her. 21 00:01:08,589 --> 00:01:10,489 [Attorney] I do have some big news. 22 00:01:10,591 --> 00:01:12,786 It's going to cost you a little money... 20,000, something like that. 23 00:01:12,893 --> 00:01:17,626 The courts have agreed to let your father out of prison. 24 00:01:17,732 --> 00:01:19,632 - This is a lawyer! - He's a master! 25 00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:21,827 For the entire afternoon. 26 00:01:21,936 --> 00:01:24,427 What do you mean "afternoon"? What afternoon? 27 00:01:24,538 --> 00:01:27,803 The day before Christmas, in time for the Living Classics Pageant... 28 00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:30,103 because I know how important that is to all of you. 29 00:01:30,211 --> 00:01:32,645 [Narrator] The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition... 30 00:01:32,747 --> 00:01:36,308 consists oflive representations of classic works of art. 31 00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:39,113 The Bluth family has participated not only as a patron... 32 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:42,383 but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit... 33 00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:46,119 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 34 00:01:46,227 --> 00:01:48,320 I don't really want to be Adam this year. 35 00:01:48,429 --> 00:01:50,761 Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line... 36 00:01:50,865 --> 00:01:53,356 behind, what, about five homos. 37 00:01:55,403 --> 00:01:58,395 That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. 38 00:01:58,506 --> 00:02:00,838 It's just that I have one down at the office now... 39 00:02:00,941 --> 00:02:03,034 and, I mean, it is every day. 40 00:02:03,144 --> 00:02:06,978 I would be happy to play Adam. I'd prefer a speaking part... 41 00:02:07,081 --> 00:02:10,073 - Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting. - { Chuckles] 42 00:02:10,184 --> 00:02:13,153 - Zing! - No, no, seriously. I don't want to play Adam. 43 00:02:13,254 --> 00:02:15,688 Buster, every year we go through this song and dance... 44 00:02:15,790 --> 00:02:20,352 and every year you say, "Thank you, Mama, for making me play Adam." 45 00:02:20,461 --> 00:02:23,225 - You're doing it. - [Narrator] This concerned Buster... 46 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:25,662 as he'd been secretly dating his mother's best friend... 47 00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:28,758 and chief social rival, Lucille Austero. 48 00:02:28,869 --> 00:02:31,337 Can't we just stay here and play poker again? 49 00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:33,873 You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills. 50 00:02:33,974 --> 00:02:37,535 No. Buster, for God's sake, there is music to hear... 51 00:02:37,645 --> 00:02:40,170 places to go, envy to stir. 52 00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:43,079 Look, I'm tired of keeping our love a secret. 53 00:02:43,184 --> 00:02:45,778 We are going out, and that is that! 54 00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:48,787 - Oh. - Oh, Buster. Okay, I'm okay. 55 00:02:48,889 --> 00:02:50,720 I'm okay. 56 00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,725 Okay. I'm gonna get out of your hair. 57 00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:54,852 - We'll talk about this money later in the week. - Excuse me. 58 00:02:54,962 --> 00:02:57,988 We're not going to pay $20,000 to get my Dad out for one day. 59 00:02:58,099 --> 00:03:01,466 No. It's a bond. It's all refundable, unlike my time. 60 00:03:01,569 --> 00:03:03,537 It's been a complete waste of two hours, okay? 61 00:03:03,637 --> 00:03:05,537 We're just not going to do it, and that's that. 62 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,802 - Are you writing two hours? - No, I'm taking notes on the case. 63 00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:10,809 - Let me just see what you just wrote. - You're scaring me. 64 00:03:10,911 --> 00:03:15,439 just leave it alone! It is a gift from a client! Ruining a good meeting. 65 00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:18,643 - Barry's very good. - He's an idiot. 66 00:03:18,753 --> 00:03:20,653 Exactly. We're not trying to get Dad out for a night. 67 00:03:20,755 --> 00:03:22,655 We're trying to get him out for good. 68 00:03:22,757 --> 00:03:25,248 We're gonna get a new lawyer. I actually know of one who's available. 69 00:03:25,359 --> 00:03:27,259 His name's WayneJarvis. He's a top guy. 70 00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:29,420 [Narrator] WayneJarvis had become famous... 71 00:03:29,530 --> 00:03:31,430 after an employment discrimination suit... 72 00:03:31,532 --> 00:03:34,467 against the family's current attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn. 73 00:03:34,568 --> 00:03:37,799 It'll be a long time before Barry Zuckerkorn calls anyone a homo again. 74 00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:40,567 You know, I am really happy that you two are in agreement... 75 00:03:40,674 --> 00:03:42,801 but we're not getting rid of Barry. 76 00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:45,902 He's like family, and you can't fire family. 77 00:03:46,013 --> 00:03:48,914 Yeah, I know. Hey, Maeby. 78 00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:51,348 Maeby, where have you been? 79 00:03:51,452 --> 00:03:54,751 You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right? 80 00:03:54,855 --> 00:03:56,948 Uh, yes, of course we remember... 81 00:03:57,057 --> 00:03:58,957 and we were worried sick, young lady. 82 00:03:59,059 --> 00:04:03,587 She's fine. Our daughter's all right, everybody, so... 83 00:04:03,697 --> 00:04:06,689 - You said you didn't want her to come. - I said I didn't want you to come. 84 00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:10,464 - Oh, that makes more sense. - Now she's going to think we're totally self-involved. 85 00:04:10,571 --> 00:04:13,768 I can fix this. Buster's probably still in the lobby. 86 00:04:13,874 --> 00:04:16,775 Let me go see if I can't get him to give me the part of Adam. 87 00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:19,607 - And I'll see if I can get some money from my mom. - [Lucille] Lupe.! 88 00:04:19,713 --> 00:04:21,613 There are some juice glasses on the sofa table. 89 00:04:21,715 --> 00:04:23,706 [Lindsay] Mama, I'll help you clean up. 90 00:04:23,818 --> 00:04:25,615 There are some salad plates on the piano. 91 00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:28,586 Wow. What a party. You make it seem so effortless. 92 00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:30,680 What do you need money for? A divorce? 93 00:04:30,791 --> 00:04:33,487 No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. 94 00:04:33,594 --> 00:04:35,721 - It's my credit card debt. - Forget it. 95 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,627 Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me. 96 00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:41,132 Maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money... 97 00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:44,136 to someone he calls a "stay-in-bed mom." 98 00:04:44,238 --> 00:04:47,867 - He said that about me? - I thought it was harsh. 99 00:04:47,975 --> 00:04:51,103 But, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. 100 00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,840 A stay-in-bed mom. 101 00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:57,213 Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. 102 00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:59,149 His words. 103 00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:01,653 - I can't believe him. - I know.! 104 00:05:01,755 --> 00:05:04,724 just when you were getting along so well. 105 00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:13,590 They've got to be kidding me. 106 00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:20,005 [Narrator] Michael's brother Gob, meanwhile... 107 00:05:20,107 --> 00:05:24,203 had missed the meeting that morning after being delayed by his girlfriend Marta. 108 00:05:24,311 --> 00:05:27,007 ♪ : Te quiero.! 109 00:05:27,114 --> 00:05:29,708 - English, please. - I love you. 110 00:05:29,817 --> 00:05:31,910 Great. Now I'm late. 111 00:05:32,019 --> 00:05:34,351 [Narrator] And while Gob took his girlfriend for granted... 112 00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:37,117 Michael was learning Spanish to get closer to her. 113 00:05:37,224 --> 00:05:39,590 [Man On Tape] That is not something I can bring to my boss. 114 00:05:39,693 --> 00:05:44,062 [Narrator] Unfortunately, the one tape he could find was oflittle use to him. 115 00:05:44,164 --> 00:05:46,064 [Woman] Are you going to the complimentary breakfast? 116 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:48,464 - [Speaking Spanish] - That'll get her hot. 117 00:05:48,569 --> 00:05:51,538 Well, if it isn't the boy who lives under the stairs. 118 00:05:51,639 --> 00:05:53,539 - Hey, Gob. - What are you doing, learning Spanish? 119 00:05:53,641 --> 00:05:58,271 Nope. It's, uh... It's something for work, so, yes, uh, yeah. 120 00:06:03,217 --> 00:06:04,752 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 121 00:06:04,752 --> 00:06:06,151 [Narrator] Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael... 122 00:06:06,253 --> 00:06:08,721 to take his place as Adam. 123 00:06:08,822 --> 00:06:11,120 I don't know, Uncle Buster. 124 00:06:11,225 --> 00:06:13,625 - Well, you don't have the "frontspiece" yet. - "Frontspiece"? 125 00:06:13,727 --> 00:06:18,391 Look, I don't want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You're going to love it. 126 00:06:18,499 --> 00:06:22,458 You just can't do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. 127 00:06:22,569 --> 00:06:26,266 They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it. 128 00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:30,469 [Narrator] And Maeby was teaching her parents a lesson for forgetting her... 129 00:06:30,577 --> 00:06:33,137 Who knows how long I'll be gone? 130 00:06:33,247 --> 00:06:35,977 when she spotted George Michael. 131 00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:38,847 Nice pecs. Got a kickin' bod. 132 00:06:38,953 --> 00:06:42,753 Thus, George Michael found a compelling reason to keep the muscle suit on. 133 00:06:43,857 --> 00:06:44,983 { Ringing] 134 00:06:45,092 --> 00:06:46,992 Law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn. 135 00:06:47,094 --> 00:06:48,789 It's Michael Bluth for Barry. 136 00:06:48,896 --> 00:06:52,627 - { Whispers] I'm not here. - Barry's not here. Can I give her a message? 137 00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:54,963 Tell her she needs to whisper a little softer next time... 138 00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:57,867 and I'm not paying for this phone call. 139 00:06:57,972 --> 00:07:00,668 I am not a girl, you bow-tied... 140 00:07:00,774 --> 00:07:03,265 Go on. Call me something. I'm redoing my kitchen. 141 00:07:03,377 --> 00:07:06,312 That's it. I've had it with this jerk Barry. 142 00:07:06,413 --> 00:07:08,711 I'm going to make Mom sit down with Wayne whether she likes it or not. 143 00:07:08,816 --> 00:07:11,842 - You're the jerk. - Did I just wake you up? I didn't know you were home. 144 00:07:11,952 --> 00:07:14,716 No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day. 145 00:07:14,822 --> 00:07:16,722 [Narrator] Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael... 146 00:07:16,824 --> 00:07:19,884 that she tried meditating to calm herself... 147 00:07:19,994 --> 00:07:22,758 but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap. 148 00:07:22,863 --> 00:07:25,024 Yeah, this suitcase should be big enough. 149 00:07:25,132 --> 00:07:28,295 Where is all this coming from? I thought we were getting along. 150 00:07:28,402 --> 00:07:31,166 Yeah, so did I. And now I hear you're telling our mother... 151 00:07:31,271 --> 00:07:34,798 that I'm completely irresponsible and a stay-in-bed mom. 152 00:07:34,908 --> 00:07:36,808 That doesn't even sound like me. 153 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:39,970 That sounds like Mom or Bruce Vilanch. 154 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,378 - Could be Bruce Vilanch. - Then why would she say it? 155 00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:45,008 - Because we're getting along. - Because we're friends again. 156 00:07:45,119 --> 00:07:47,644 You gotta remember Mom typically has nothing in her system... 157 00:07:47,755 --> 00:07:49,746 except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill. 158 00:07:49,857 --> 00:07:52,052 Speaking of which... 159 00:07:52,159 --> 00:07:54,491 [Narrator] Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink... 160 00:07:54,595 --> 00:07:56,495 and air their grievances about their mother. 161 00:07:56,597 --> 00:08:00,294 She's always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn't working. 162 00:08:00,401 --> 00:08:03,165 - And how's it going with you and Tobias? - It's not working. 163 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:06,501 And that's why I wanted her help with my credit card debt. 164 00:08:06,607 --> 00:08:09,337 I'm trying to take at least some of the pressure off this marriage. 165 00:08:09,443 --> 00:08:12,844 And if anything, it's worse now that we're sharing a bedroom. 166 00:08:12,946 --> 00:08:15,744 You guys were not sharing a bedroom before? 167 00:08:15,849 --> 00:08:18,181 Well, the cutoffs aren't exactly a turn-on. 168 00:08:18,285 --> 00:08:22,551 - What's the deal with the cutoffs? - You've got to promise not to tell anyone this. 169 00:08:22,656 --> 00:08:26,353 - Okay. - He's a never-nude. 170 00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:28,792 Is that exactly what it sounds like? 171 00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:31,228 [Narrator] Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction... 172 00:08:31,331 --> 00:08:33,925 of never being able to be completely naked. 173 00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:36,969 Excuse me. Do these effectively hide my thunder? 174 00:08:37,071 --> 00:08:41,007 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed. 175 00:08:41,108 --> 00:08:44,134 I am completely undressed. 176 00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:47,042 - I thought he just liked cutoffs. - Me too. 177 00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:49,547 What about you? What's going on with your love life? 178 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:51,550 Have you even met anyone since your wife? 179 00:08:51,652 --> 00:08:54,553 That is the one subject I am not eager to talk about, Lindsay. 180 00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,919 I love Marta. 181 00:08:58,759 --> 00:09:01,592 - Mom's housekeeper? - Gob's girlfriend. 182 00:09:01,695 --> 00:09:04,163 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 183 00:09:04,264 --> 00:09:08,098 Listen. You're a great guy, and if she doesn't see that... 184 00:09:08,202 --> 00:09:11,330 - then someone else will. - You know what else, Lindsay? You're great. 185 00:09:11,438 --> 00:09:15,499 And I'm gonna move some money around if it's gonna help you get out of debt. 186 00:09:15,609 --> 00:09:17,008 - No, Michael. - Yeah. 187 00:09:17,111 --> 00:09:20,672 The hell with Mom. And here. Mom's never gonna get between us again. 188 00:09:21,849 --> 00:09:24,477 [Narrator] The next day, Buster, having pawned off playing Adam... 189 00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:27,554 went to Lucille 2 to ask her out for Christmas Eve. 190 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:31,750 That is terrific 'cause I got two tickets to the pageant! 191 00:09:31,859 --> 00:09:35,590 { Clears Throat] My... My mother's going to be there. 192 00:09:35,696 --> 00:09:37,596 [Narrator] And George Michael was trying to pass... 193 00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:40,030 - as a more muscular boy than he actually was. - One hundred. 194 00:09:40,134 --> 00:09:42,102 One hundred? I had you at 10. 195 00:09:42,202 --> 00:09:45,797 I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total. So what's with the suitcase? 196 00:09:45,906 --> 00:09:48,602 It's a little test to get my parents to notice me. 197 00:09:48,709 --> 00:09:50,609 You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you? 198 00:09:50,711 --> 00:09:55,045 I've got a really good body, so... no. 199 00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:57,276 Hey, gang. What you doing? 200 00:09:57,384 --> 00:09:59,614 - Just packing up. Packing it on up. - Uh-huh. 201 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,950 Listen, can I talk to you alone for a moment? 202 00:10:02,055 --> 00:10:05,491 - I'll leave you two alone here. - Oh, no, George Michael, I meant you. 203 00:10:05,592 --> 00:10:08,152 Maeby, can we have the room? 204 00:10:11,899 --> 00:10:15,858 So, as you know, I was hoping to play Adam in this thing... 205 00:10:15,969 --> 00:10:19,996 and I want you to know that I am not threatened. 206 00:10:20,107 --> 00:10:22,371 You know, I'd be happy to let you play Adam. 207 00:10:22,476 --> 00:10:24,569 Give me the suit. Give me the suit. 208 00:10:24,678 --> 00:10:28,341 I'm actually wearing it right now, and I can't tell you why. 209 00:10:28,448 --> 00:10:30,348 You're wearing it right now? 210 00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:33,180 I have to wear it all the time. You'd never understand. 211 00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:36,654 Oh, please. I'll never under... 212 00:10:36,757 --> 00:10:40,523 I'll never understand... that you can never be nude? 213 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,759 I understand more than you'll never know. 214 00:10:57,277 --> 00:10:59,177 Yikes. 215 00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:01,713 [Narrator] Michael finally arranged a meeting with attorney WayneJarvis. 216 00:11:01,815 --> 00:11:03,715 Looking for a more professional approach to our representation. 217 00:11:03,817 --> 00:11:05,114 Well, I'm a professional. 218 00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:08,211 - I'm serious, and I'm a professional. - That's fantastic. 219 00:11:08,322 --> 00:11:10,756 - So how long have you been practicing... - I also don't like small talk. 220 00:11:10,857 --> 00:11:14,190 I find that unprofessional. Why should I be billing you for small talk... 221 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:16,194 when I'm enjoying it as much as you are? 222 00:11:16,296 --> 00:11:19,356 Then this must be a freebie 'cause I'm having a ball. 223 00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:21,866 { Chuckles] When you're ready to get serious, give me a call. 224 00:11:21,969 --> 00:11:26,429 No, no! No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm serious. I'm ready. 225 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:30,408 Good. If you retain my services, I will get your father out of jail... 226 00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,410 and we will be countersuing before the end of the year. 227 00:11:32,512 --> 00:11:35,208 We're gonna get this company's name back to where it started. 228 00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:37,875 - Or hopefully higher. - I didn't say that. Don't hold me to that. 229 00:11:37,985 --> 00:11:41,785 I won't, and I appreciate that to a wonderful degree. 230 00:11:41,888 --> 00:11:44,288 My mother is on her way up here... 231 00:11:44,391 --> 00:11:48,088 and she's resistant to the idea of hiring a new attorney. 232 00:11:48,195 --> 00:11:50,663 If she even sees you, she probably won't come in the room. 233 00:11:50,764 --> 00:11:53,289 I shall duck behind the couch. 234 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,834 - What a pro. - [Bell Dings] 235 00:11:57,137 --> 00:11:58,695 - Michael. - Hi. 236 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:02,036 I need to get the money to get your father out for the pageant. 237 00:12:02,142 --> 00:12:05,578 Actually, that's not why I called you here today, and I'm not doing that. 238 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,273 I gave that money to Lindsay to pay off her credit card debt. 239 00:12:08,382 --> 00:12:11,840 - What'd she do, get you drunk? - No, we just, uh, well... 240 00:12:11,952 --> 00:12:14,614 We did drink a little bit. How'd you know that? 241 00:12:14,721 --> 00:12:16,621 Because that's what she said she'd do. 242 00:12:16,723 --> 00:12:19,851 I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." 243 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,258 Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. 244 00:12:22,362 --> 00:12:24,353 Oh. Her words. 245 00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:26,432 She set me up? 246 00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:31,266 All that stuff about her marital troubles and Tobias being a never-nude? 247 00:12:31,371 --> 00:12:35,273 A never-nude? I thought he just liked cutoffs. 248 00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:37,434 How do you treat somebody in your own family like that... 249 00:12:37,544 --> 00:12:41,913 lying and deceiving and saying anything just to get your own way? 250 00:12:42,015 --> 00:12:44,779 - So what did you want to see me about? - Hmm? 251 00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:48,446 Oh, um, there's a big bowl of candy in my office. 252 00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:51,285 - Why don't you go eat it? - WayneJarvis, attorney at law. 253 00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:55,725 I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office. 254 00:12:55,829 --> 00:12:58,320 Lindsay. 255 00:13:03,537 --> 00:13:06,370 - What are you doing here? - I had to get away from Marta. 256 00:13:06,473 --> 00:13:11,308 If I have to smell another meal of fish, rice and mango, I'm gonna kill somebody. 257 00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:14,972 - Now Michael's learning Spanish. What's up with that? - Oh, who knows? 258 00:13:15,082 --> 00:13:16,982 He won't get your father out of jail for a night. 259 00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:19,644 - He's bringing in a new attorney. - New attorney? 260 00:13:19,753 --> 00:13:22,688 And he's learning Spanish? 261 00:13:22,789 --> 00:13:24,780 He's hiding something. 262 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,519 And I intend to find out what it is. 263 00:13:27,627 --> 00:13:31,222 Do yourself a favor. Get him drunk. 264 00:13:37,471 --> 00:13:39,496 { Scoffs] Barry. 265 00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:43,275 I see you're getting closer to our attorney. 266 00:13:43,377 --> 00:13:47,006 Well, I just want you to know that I won't be needing your help after all. 267 00:13:47,114 --> 00:13:51,813 My brother Michael came through as he always does and as you never do. 268 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,877 Whatever it takes to get your relationship with that never-nude back on track. 269 00:13:57,991 --> 00:14:00,357 - Michael told you that? - He couldn't wait to. 270 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,826 [Narrator] And later, while Michael was meeting with Wayne... 271 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:06,262 My thing with Tobias was a secret like you stealing your brother's girlfriend! 272 00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:09,062 - I open up to you, and you run and tell Mommy! - Excuse me. 273 00:14:09,169 --> 00:14:11,034 Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. 274 00:14:11,138 --> 00:14:14,801 Like it all wasn't just lies to get me to pay that debt. Isn't that why you got me drunk? 275 00:14:14,908 --> 00:14:17,035 - I got you drunk. - Mom told me about your little plan. 276 00:14:17,144 --> 00:14:20,409 - What plan? I had a great time last night! - So did I! 277 00:14:20,514 --> 00:14:22,880 - Then why are we yelling at each other? - Mom. 278 00:14:22,983 --> 00:14:26,384 - Unbelievable. - She did it again. 279 00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:29,387 - All right. We've got to teach her a lesson. - Hmm. 280 00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:34,626 Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion... 281 00:14:34,728 --> 00:14:37,253 and we were wondering if there's some sort of legal way... 282 00:14:37,364 --> 00:14:40,094 that we can humiliate our mother. 283 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,566 Something shaming, something public. 284 00:14:42,669 --> 00:14:45,832 I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? 285 00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:47,907 Professional. 286 00:14:54,681 --> 00:14:56,581 So how are we going to screw Mom? 287 00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:58,344 - Maybe we can get Barry to help. - Forget it. 288 00:14:58,452 --> 00:15:01,512 I think I was right about them all along. You know Barry's taking Mom to the pageant? 289 00:15:01,621 --> 00:15:03,350 - On a date? - Yeah. 290 00:15:03,457 --> 00:15:08,827 Ugh! If Dad could see her on a date with Barry, he'd go crazy. 291 00:15:08,929 --> 00:15:11,625 Which would allow us to hire Wayne. 292 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,526 How do you feel about staying in debt just a little bit longer? 293 00:15:16,636 --> 00:15:20,037 [Narrator] So they decided to spend the money Michael had promised Lindsay... 294 00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:24,167 to get their father out for the pageant, where he'd catch his wife with Barry. 295 00:15:24,277 --> 00:15:27,838 Maeby, too, continued to try to teach her parents a lesson. 296 00:15:27,948 --> 00:15:30,508 Okay, so I printed the fake airline ticket from my computer. 297 00:15:30,617 --> 00:15:34,109 If my parents miss this, I really might go to South America. 298 00:15:34,221 --> 00:15:36,781 - That says "Portugal." - That's right. 299 00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:41,020 [Narrator] Maeby's parents didn't find the ticket, but Gob did... 300 00:15:41,127 --> 00:15:43,027 "Portugal." 301 00:15:43,129 --> 00:15:45,461 which confirmed his suspicions. 302 00:15:45,565 --> 00:15:48,159 Gonna live it up down old South America way, huh, Mikey? 303 00:15:48,268 --> 00:15:51,567 And Buster finally gave in to Lucille 2's wishes. 304 00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:55,072 You ready to show me off before God and the whole world? 305 00:15:55,175 --> 00:15:57,370 It's not my dad's reaction I'm worried about. 306 00:15:57,477 --> 00:16:01,573 And George Michael finally saw the painting he was going to be re-creating. 307 00:16:01,681 --> 00:16:05,344 ?? [Hip-hop] 308 00:16:05,452 --> 00:16:08,979 And then what "frontspiece"meant. 309 00:16:14,995 --> 00:16:19,932 George Sr. got his 24 hours of freedom as the pageant finally began. 310 00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:23,764 You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed. 311 00:16:23,870 --> 00:16:27,806 You know, you were so still and godlike. 312 00:16:27,908 --> 00:16:30,274 It was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer. 313 00:16:31,845 --> 00:16:33,745 Glad I could make a difference. 314 00:16:33,847 --> 00:16:36,509 Michael and Lindsay searched the crowd for their mother and Barry... 315 00:16:36,616 --> 00:16:40,074 so they could revel in the public shaming they had engineered. 316 00:16:40,186 --> 00:16:44,122 - Mom, what the hell are you doing? - But instead they found her with Wayne. 317 00:16:44,224 --> 00:16:46,124 I don't have to answer that. 318 00:16:46,226 --> 00:16:48,387 I don't know which one of you I'm more disappointed in. 319 00:16:48,495 --> 00:16:50,520 No, it's Wayne. Wayne... 320 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,258 - I have needs. I am a man! - Hey, watch... 321 00:16:53,366 --> 00:16:56,130 What's the difference? Your father doesn't care about me. 322 00:16:56,236 --> 00:16:58,727 Barry tells me he's not even trying to get out of prison. 323 00:16:58,838 --> 00:17:01,602 - Mom, he's here. Dad's here. - He's here? 324 00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:04,040 - Yeah, he's here. - Why did you do this? 325 00:17:04,144 --> 00:17:06,476 - We were trying to teach you a lesson. - You idiots.! 326 00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:09,708 - If he sees me with Wayne... - We'll be stuck with Barry. 327 00:17:09,816 --> 00:17:12,808 I shall duck behind that little garbage car. 328 00:17:14,254 --> 00:17:16,154 Guy's a pro. 329 00:17:16,256 --> 00:17:18,156 [Man On P.A.] And now, ladies and gentlemen... 330 00:17:18,258 --> 00:17:20,988 Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam. 331 00:17:21,094 --> 00:17:24,291 [Narrator] And George Michael made his debut... 332 00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:26,797 Hey, that's my... Yikes. 333 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,834 - breaking the pageant's cardinal rule. - [Crowd Booing] 334 00:17:28,935 --> 00:17:30,562 How dare he! 335 00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:33,639 Oh, stop booing! There's nothing wrong with it. 336 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:37,733 There are dozens of us. Dozens! 337 00:17:37,844 --> 00:17:39,937 Buster arrived with Lucille Austero... 338 00:17:40,046 --> 00:17:43,846 and naturally assumed the yells of disgust were directed toward him. 339 00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:46,077 - What is wrong with you? - What's wrong with you? 340 00:17:46,186 --> 00:17:48,347 Buster? 341 00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:50,446 Oh, God! I'm sorry. 342 00:17:50,557 --> 00:17:53,924 I'm sorry, Lucille. Yeah. Lucille. 343 00:17:54,027 --> 00:17:55,995 Ma, I'm sorry! 344 00:17:56,096 --> 00:18:00,624 Man! That old lady has really done a number on you, hasn't she? 345 00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:05,200 But George Michael wasn't the only problem with the painting. 346 00:18:05,305 --> 00:18:07,933 - Where is God? - There is no God! 347 00:18:11,211 --> 00:18:13,111 There goes my credit card payment. 348 00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:15,477 Dad! Dad! 349 00:18:15,582 --> 00:18:17,550 Hey! Dad! 350 00:18:19,219 --> 00:18:21,619 - Excuse me. - Dad! 351 00:18:21,721 --> 00:18:25,316 - Hey, Dad, get back here! - No! I'm not going back! 352 00:18:25,425 --> 00:18:27,325 Dad, come here! 353 00:18:27,427 --> 00:18:31,386 - Dad! - Michael, I'm onto you. 354 00:18:31,498 --> 00:18:34,160 The Spanish lessons, the lawyer. 355 00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:38,067 - If you're heading for Portugal, it's due south! - What? No, it isn't. 356 00:18:38,171 --> 00:18:40,833 Dad, you're not gonna outrun me in that dress. 357 00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:44,899 - Let go! For God's sakes, I'm not even wearing a jock. - Dad, are you going too? 358 00:18:48,415 --> 00:18:51,179 No one is going to Portugal, you idiot! 359 00:18:51,284 --> 00:18:54,549 Lindsay and I broke Dad out of jail for a day to catch Mom on a date. 360 00:18:54,654 --> 00:18:57,350 Your mother is on a date? Oh. 361 00:18:57,457 --> 00:18:58,719 Dad! 362 00:18:58,825 --> 00:19:02,158 - Oh, oh. - { Buzzing] 363 00:19:02,262 --> 00:19:04,890 - [Michael] Dad? - [Narrator] And so, many in the Bluth family... 364 00:19:04,998 --> 00:19:07,933 gathered together for Christmas Eve... at prison. 365 00:19:08,034 --> 00:19:10,662 - Hey, where'd your muscle suit go? - Wait. You knew? 366 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:12,169 Yeah. 367 00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:14,206 I took it off. 368 00:19:17,177 --> 00:19:19,077 You did? 369 00:19:21,881 --> 00:19:25,317 You have made some tremendous strides today. 370 00:19:26,886 --> 00:19:29,013 Ever get the feeling like you don't even matter? 371 00:19:29,122 --> 00:19:31,386 Only when I'm around my children. 372 00:19:31,491 --> 00:19:35,359 You reach a certain age, and you have to practically scream to get noticed. 373 00:19:35,462 --> 00:19:39,364 They turn you into a monster, and then they call you one. 374 00:19:39,466 --> 00:19:41,866 I don't think you're a monster. 375 00:19:41,968 --> 00:19:43,868 And I think you're a lovely girl. 376 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:46,234 You know what? 377 00:19:46,339 --> 00:19:48,739 I think you and I ought to spend more time together. 378 00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:50,969 Yeah. 379 00:19:52,212 --> 00:19:55,773 - That'll drive them crazy. - Exactly. 380 00:19:55,882 --> 00:19:57,782 [Narrator] And Michael was forced to, once again... 381 00:19:57,884 --> 00:20:00,352 call in the counsel of Barry Zuckerkorn. 382 00:20:00,453 --> 00:20:02,614 Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve. 383 00:20:02,722 --> 00:20:06,055 Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double. 384 00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:08,286 So, they're not filing charges. 385 00:20:08,394 --> 00:20:12,956 I got them to call your flee from justice "religious expression." 386 00:20:13,066 --> 00:20:15,830 - This is a lawyer. - Yeah, he's... he's very good. 387 00:20:15,935 --> 00:20:19,063 You're gonna have to forfeit that bond. I was way off about that. 388 00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:21,299 Thanks again, Mikey. 389 00:20:23,943 --> 00:20:26,411 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 390 00:20:26,513 --> 00:20:29,539 Are all the guys in here, you know... 391 00:20:29,649 --> 00:20:32,447 Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them. 392 00:20:32,552 --> 00:20:35,919 Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. 393 00:20:37,991 --> 00:20:40,653 - Hope? - Think. 394 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,423 - How'd it go? - Well, the bad news is you're in debt again... 395 00:20:44,531 --> 00:20:47,125 and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry. 396 00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:51,431 The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again. 397 00:20:52,539 --> 00:20:55,531 - Well, at least we're still pals, huh? - Yeah. 398 00:20:56,943 --> 00:21:00,276 That's not really doing it for me this time. 399 00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,280 Yeah.