1 00:00:05,271 --> 00:00:06,363 What you doing? 2 00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:09,531 You said clean up. I'm cleaning up, heh. 3 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,304 You can't just throw everything in the closet. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,472 You can tell me what to do or you can tell me how to do it... 5 00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:19,846 ...but you can't do both. This isn't sex. 6 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,651 Well, what if someone looks in there? 7 00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:26,724 They're coming over for dinner, no one will look in the closet. 8 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:30,191 You don't know that. What if someone's looking for the bathroom? 9 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,387 It could work out. 10 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:34,499 For all we know, there's a toilet in there somewhere. 11 00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:38,497 Fine. After tonight, we need to get a handle on this mess. 12 00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:40,696 We should show the closet to Sheldon. 13 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,171 Why? 14 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,833 Ha. Are you kidding? He's like a savant at organizing. 15 00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:47,206 Everything in his apartment has a label on it... 16 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,248 ...including his label maker, which has a label that says "label maker." 17 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:56,845 If you look really close at that label-maker label, you'll see a label that says "label." 18 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,750 No, he's our guest. We can't ask him to straighten our closet. 19 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:02,792 No, we wouldn't ask him. 20 00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:08,264 We'd just show him the closet and let the goblins in his head take it from there. 21 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:11,363 Hey, guys, come on in. 22 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,132 - Hi. - Ooh, it smells good. 23 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,207 Thanks. Sheldon, I know tonight's the night you eat Thai food. 24 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,608 I went to the Asian market, got the ingredients, made it from scratch. 25 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,714 Oh, you shouldn't have. 26 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,144 It was my pleasure. 27 00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,443 No, you really shouldn't have. 28 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,650 I brought my own. 29 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,148 You stopped and got him takeout? 30 00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:34,656 I had no choice. He kept kicking the back of my seat. 31 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,919 Sheldon, I've been cooking all day. 32 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,429 Well, now don't you feel silly? 33 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:43,562 Show him the closet. 34 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,567 These spring rolls are amazing. Good job, Bernadette. 35 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,492 That's the takeout that Sheldon brought. 36 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:25,008 I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if I hadn't tried your food first. 37 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:33,651 Howard, did you want your clothes arranged seasonally or by color? 38 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,614 - Color's fine. - Wrong, they'll be arranged seasonally. 39 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,490 Aren't you gonna spend a little time with Amy? 40 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,093 Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it. 41 00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:46,665 The other day at Whole Foods, he spent an hour optimizing the cheese aisle. 42 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,959 And some thanks I got. 43 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:51,535 The assistant manager chased me out with an artisanal salami. 44 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,040 His quirks just make you love him more. 45 00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,711 Someone please agree with me. 46 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:07,809 Come on. It's getting late. Time to go. 47 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,683 Oh! Five more minutes. 48 00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:13,387 That's what you said five minutes ago. 49 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,687 Amy and Penny are already in the car, move it. 50 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,025 How come I never get to do anything I wanna do? 51 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:22,359 If he really wants to stay and finish, I can give him a ride home. 52 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,470 Please, Leonard. He said it's okay. 53 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:29,498 Sheldon, it's... Wait, I can go home without you? Bye. 54 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,535 Howard, I have a few questions. 55 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,341 I found three bowling pins. 56 00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:40,714 Now, do you juggle these or are you missing seven? 57 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:43,884 - Juggle. - You health nuts kill me. 58 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,028 Oh, my God, it's beautiful! 59 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,893 And look, you found the juggling pins I hid. 60 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,995 Now, a couple more items. 61 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,161 Howard, I found this letter from your dad in a box. 62 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:03,207 - Based on content, it could either be filed... - Wait, you opened this? 63 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,368 I had to find out if it's personal correspondence or memorabilia. 64 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:09,106 - Based on the content... - I couldn't be less interested. 65 00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,718 Now, come on, I'll take you home. 66 00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:18,186 - Don't you want to know what's in it? - Lf I did, I would've opened it years ago. 67 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,752 The closet looks great. Let's get out of here. 68 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:25,921 Can I bring this box of extra shirt buttons to sort on the ride? 69 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,125 - Do whatever you want. - Thanks. 70 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,161 Oh! 71 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,639 Great party. 72 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,769 When I first met Howard, he'd pull his scrotum out of his shorts and say: 73 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,382 "Oh! I sat in gum." 74 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:50,548 What is your point? 75 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:55,387 It's kind of weird how grown up he is now. Happily married, throwing dinner parties. 76 00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:59,725 Really? You couldn't just say that? You had to tell the scrotum story? 77 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,327 Trying to paint a picture. 78 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:09,303 It was a nice change of pace, not eating takeout around a coffee table. 79 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,775 We could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up. 80 00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:17,245 Sure. Just, when you say "dressed up," you mean nice clothes, right? 81 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,181 Not like capes and tights and crap. 82 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:23,583 Yeah. 83 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,485 - Although... - No. 84 00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:36,664 - Howie, you okay? - Yeah, I just couldn't sleep. 85 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,498 I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. 86 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:43,335 I know the little cups make you feel big, but it's not worth it. 87 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,435 It's this stupid letter. 88 00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:50,374 - Did you read it? - No. 89 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,611 - You must be curious. - Of course I'm curious. 90 00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:58,382 I haven't seen the man since I was a little kid. 91 00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:01,458 And a letter shows up on my 18th birthday. 92 00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:02,719 What's that about? 93 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,391 Then why don't you read it? 94 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,464 Maybe he apologizes or explains why he left. 95 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,362 He abandoned me and my mother. 96 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:14,302 Why does he deserve a chance to explain anything? 97 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,135 I get that. 98 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,704 So, what do you wanna do with it? 99 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,907 Something I should've done a long time ago. 100 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,746 Really? Are you sure? 101 00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,386 Yep. 102 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,421 Feel better? 103 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,154 I do. 104 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:44,263 Great. 105 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,565 Neither one of us is tall enough to reach that. 106 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:56,037 I can't believe he set it on fire. 107 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,911 Yeah, just seeing that letter really freaked him out. 108 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:03,579 And he was already having a tough day. He accidentally wore my pants to work. 109 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,288 I don't know why he was upset. They were bigger on him than me. 110 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,599 I'm really curious what's in that letter. 111 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,896 Me too, but I guess now we'll never know. 112 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,369 You said Sheldon read it. Why not ask him? 113 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:25,602 I can't do that. What kind of wife would I be if I didn't respect my husband's privacy? 114 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,139 What if I ask and you happen to be in the room? 115 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:29,941 - That works. - Okay. 116 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,401 Blech! 117 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:58,473 It's like cleaning out the entire building's belly button. 118 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:02,444 - Hey, Sheldon. - Oh, hello. 119 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,014 What can I do for you ladies? 120 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,079 - You have something we want. - Oh, dear. 121 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:12,789 My mother warned me this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city. 122 00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:16,253 No, we just want information. 123 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:20,092 Oh. Oh, I've got that in spades. Ravage me. 124 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:23,998 We heard you read the letter from Howard's father. 125 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,933 - I did. - What did it say? 126 00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,262 I can't tell you that. 127 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:32,377 I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality. 128 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,941 Sheldon, that's not a real thing. 129 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:39,881 Neither is the rule that you have to hold your girlfriend's hand at the movies. 130 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,179 But that doesn't stop you from pawing at me... 131 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,347 ...like you're a bear and I'm a trash can full of sweets. 132 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,685 Why do you even care? Just tell us what it says. 133 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:54,230 Control over the information contained in that letter belongs to Howard. 134 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,368 By happenstance, I came to know it. 135 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,630 That doesn't give me the right to disseminate it freely. 136 00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:03,798 The letter was found in Bernadette's closet. Doesn't that count for something? 137 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:08,310 Are you pointing out that California is a community-property state... 138 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:13,145 ...and since Howard and Bernadette are married, intellectual property in the letter... 139 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,651 ...is jointly owned by the two spouses? 140 00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,792 Yeah, obviously. 141 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:25,892 Well played. 142 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,166 Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny. 143 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,903 Dude, you made the right choice coming to me for help with this party. 144 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,407 Actually, all I did was invite you. 145 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,579 Well, put your mind at ease. 146 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:45,376 I'm here to make sure your dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass. 147 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:48,213 Now, the first thing we need is a theme. 148 00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:52,619 I'm thinking, ah, turn-of-the-century Moulin Rouge. 149 00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:58,521 I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch. 150 00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,190 Penny and I just wanna do something low-key. 151 00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:05,132 You know, cocktails, light jazz music, hors d'oeuvres. 152 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:11,607 So your theme is "I saw a rerun of Mad Men and bought crab puffs from Trader Joe's"? 153 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,480 I'd hate to miss that. Ahem. 154 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,040 Hey, where have you been? 155 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,809 Oh, Leonard. 156 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,784 If I was prone to sarcasm... 157 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:27,722 ...I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the Museum of Laundry Baskets. 158 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:33,765 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. 159 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,660 I meant, golly, Sheldon, you've been gone a long time. 160 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:42,068 Oh, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy. 161 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:45,506 They made me reveal confidential information about Howard's father. 162 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,579 - What information? - I can't tell you that. 163 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:52,912 I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality. 164 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:55,177 Come on, we won't tell anyone. 165 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,152 Sorry, badgering me won't work. What you should have said is: 166 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,918 "It's pointless to keep this a secret. Penny will tell." 167 00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:03,323 - Fine, then that. - All right, I'll tell you. 168 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:08,691 My goodness, everyone's on their game today. 169 00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:15,631 This is really fun. 170 00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,072 Yeah, it's nice to get dressed up once in a while. 171 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,734 And the hors d'oeuvres are delightful. 172 00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,073 - As is the company. - Aw. 173 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,716 My shirt is itchy, and I wish I were dead. 174 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:31,023 Hey, everybody, before Howard gets here, let's all just agree... 175 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,215 ...to not bring up the letter. - Of course. 176 00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:34,757 - Sure. - Absolutely. 177 00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,986 If I say yes, can we turn off that Latin orgy music? 178 00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,934 It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these flights of stairs. 179 00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:47,038 - Yeah, try doing it in heels. - I am. 180 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,704 Wait. There's something I have to tell you. 181 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,370 - What? - I know what was in your dad's letter. 182 00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:02,916 Sheldon, I swear to God I'm gonna kill you! 183 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,852 Hey! 184 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:07,887 I made him tell us. 185 00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,527 "Us"? Who else knows? 186 00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:11,788 - I know. - Me too. 187 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,021 Same here. 188 00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,723 Shame on all of you. 189 00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:17,392 You know too. 190 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,868 Couldn't leave him with one friend, could you? 191 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:24,037 So everybody knows what's in that letter except for me? 192 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:27,008 Yes, it's six against one. Stand down, sir. 193 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:29,773 How could you do this? 194 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,376 I'm sorry. 195 00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:34,713 - Lf you want, we could tell you. - I don't want to know. 196 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,911 I mean... 197 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,954 I do, but... 198 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,820 I gotta go. 199 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:47,223 Used me as a human shield? 200 00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,596 I panicked. 201 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,738 He looked taller than usual. 202 00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:58,103 Howard? 203 00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,470 In here. 204 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,142 Sorry. 205 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:05,078 I should've left it alone. 206 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:08,618 It's okay. I'm sorry I ran off like that. 207 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,848 What are you looking at? 208 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:14,355 Pictures of my dad and me when I was a kid. 209 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,084 - That's nice. - I gotta tell you... 210 00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,924 ...as angry as I am at Sheldon for blabbing... 211 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:23,091 ...he did a hell of ajob organizing this closet. 212 00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:24,860 Look at this. 213 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:29,302 "Photos of Wolowitz Family Before Father Left Forever." 214 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:35,641 Look. Check out 9-year-old Howie with cornrows. 215 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,942 Neither race was happy to see me with those. 216 00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,718 Think you can take a break? 217 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:48,189 - Why? - Got a little surprise for you. 218 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,725 Come on. 219 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,795 Oh, honey... 220 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:55,957 ...I am in no mood to have sex tonight. 221 00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,905 I mean, I'll lay there if you absolutely have to have it, but... 222 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:02,097 Oh. 223 00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:05,642 What are you guys doing here? 224 00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:09,303 You weren't sure whether you wanted to know what was in your dad's letter... 225 00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,006 ...so we came up with kind of a cool solution. 226 00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:13,811 Oh, yeah? What's that? 227 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,214 It's simple, really. 228 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:18,481 It occurred to me that knowing and not knowing... 229 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:23,685 ...can be achieved by creating a macroscopic example of quantum superposition... 230 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:29,859 ...the principle that a physical system exists partially in all its possible states at once. 231 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,900 We were all thinking it, really. 232 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,838 It was kind of the elephant in the room, so... 233 00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:42,937 Anyway, um, I realized if we each present you... 234 00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:45,606 ...with an account of what your father wrote to you... 235 00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:49,720 ...only one of which is true, and we don't tell you which one it is... 236 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:54,053 ...you will forever be in a state of epistemic ambivalence. 237 00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:57,957 Yeah, and I said if it wasn't epistemic, we might as well not do it. 238 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,730 Sit down, honey. 239 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,263 - Raj, you're up. - Okay, um, ahem. 240 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,604 It was a card for your 18th birthday. 241 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:14,872 Inside it said, "Happy birthday, Howard. I love you. Dad." 242 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:17,777 Oh, and it was a "Far Side" card... 243 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:21,818 ...the one where the frog has its tongue stuck to the underside of an airplane. 244 00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:25,781 Thinks it's a fly. 245 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,389 Silly frog. So funny. 246 00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:31,653 Sheldon? 247 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,960 It was a map... 248 00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:39,730 ...leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate "One-Eyed Willy." 249 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,206 Nice try. That's the plot for Goonies. 250 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,145 - Told you. - Don't. 251 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,142 Amy? 252 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,582 You didn't know it... 253 00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:58,587 ...but your father was in the auditorium at your high school graduation... 254 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,123 ...and he cried because he was so proud of you. 255 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,152 Really? 256 00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,924 Or that's complete poppycock which Amy made up. It still could be the map. 257 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,129 Penny? 258 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:15,368 It was a letter explaining that your dad wasn't who he said he was. 259 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,668 Eventually his other life caught up to him... 260 00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:20,778 ...and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave. 261 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,846 I would like to change mine. 262 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:29,785 The pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine. 263 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:34,057 Now it's completely different from Goonies. 264 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,524 - No, it's not. - Don't. 265 00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:40,623 Okay, my turn. 266 00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:44,130 Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing... 267 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,897 ...and that you should never throw it away like he did. 268 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,597 Hmm. 269 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:51,275 Bernadette? 270 00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:57,281 In the envelope was a picture of your dad holding you the day you were born. 271 00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:02,546 On the back he wrote, "Howard, my son, my greatest gift." 272 00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:12,723 You okay? 273 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,388 Yeah. 274 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,099 I'm terrific. 275 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,337 So? 276 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,673 Which one do you think it is... 277 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,712 ...matey? 278 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:33,043 Actually, I don't wanna know. 279 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,949 I want all of them to be true. 280 00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,350 Well, one of them is. 281 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,389 That's pretty cool. 282 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,687 Thank you, guys. 283 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,231 Hey, it's still early. Why don't we go back and have that party? 284 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,263 - Yeah. - Okay. 285 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,597 Yeah, surprisingly... 286 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:55,433 ...the letter from your father wasn't the most interesting thing in the closet. 287 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:58,701 Bernadette's diary has some saucy passages. 288 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,574 - Sheldon, don't you dare. - Nothing to worry about. 289 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,306 Your secret's safe with me. 290 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,246 That's more like it. 291 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:12,081 Although copyright law would allow me to quote snippets in the context of a review. 292 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,361 I'm glad you're feeling better. 293 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:28,801 Me too. 294 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:32,569 But if I'd known we were gonna be dancing, I would've wore my flats. 295 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:37,478 - Well, this turned out pretty well, huh? - Yeah, I think so. 296 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,847 I agree. That is, if you've never been to or heard of a party before. 297 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,156 If you'd let me pierce your brain with a hot needle in the right place... 298 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,418 ...you'd be happy all the time. 299 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:57,125 Penny, I have a couple of questions about your closet. 300 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:01,238 Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish? 301 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,874 Damn, I forgot to feed him. 302 00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,609 And that I had him. 303 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:11,408 Well, now, did you also have a dog? 304 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:15,679 Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy... 305 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,448 Party's over! Party's over!