1
00:00:01,173 --> 00:00:03,075
Rent-A-Swag shareholders:
2
00:00:03,173 --> 00:00:07,075
As you can see,
your store is hoppin'.
3
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:08,276
These kids are renting
my old clothes
4
00:00:08,294 --> 00:00:09,428
like they're going
out of style.
5
00:00:09,462 --> 00:00:10,712
Which they never will.
6
00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:12,480
Yeah, it's a lot
of foot traffic, Tommy.
7
00:00:12,498 --> 00:00:13,982
I like it.
8
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,450
Oh, "day-yay-yam,"
9
00:00:15,468 --> 00:00:17,419
it is kind of
a sausage party in here.
10
00:00:17,437 --> 00:00:18,954
For the record,
11
00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:22,674
would hit it, would hit,
would hit.
12
00:00:22,725 --> 00:00:23,825
Hard pass.
[Laughs]
13
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:27,145
Tom, who is this... person?
14
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:28,714
This is
Mona-Lisa Saperstein,
15
00:00:28,748 --> 00:00:29,948
my new sales associate.
16
00:00:29,999 --> 00:00:32,934
Mona-Lisa Saperstein?
17
00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:35,770
- Does that mean--
- ♪ Oh, yeah
18
00:00:35,788 --> 00:00:36,989
she's my sister.
19
00:00:37,023 --> 00:00:38,724
My twin sister,
from the same mister.
20
00:00:38,775 --> 00:00:40,792
Thank you so much
for hiring Mona-Lisa.
21
00:00:40,827 --> 00:00:41,843
It means so much to me.
22
00:00:41,878 --> 00:00:43,428
Even though,
honestly, she's...
23
00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,430
♪ The wo-o-orst.
24
00:00:45,481 --> 00:00:46,848
She is the worst person
in the world.
25
00:00:46,866 --> 00:00:48,033
Huge skank.
Terrible.
26
00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:49,785
But thank you.
It means a lot.
27
00:00:49,819 --> 00:00:51,536
Of course. Got to keep it
in the family.
28
00:00:51,571 --> 00:00:53,839
Yeah, but does it have to be
this family?
29
00:00:53,873 --> 00:00:55,290
Actually, that reminds me,
30
00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:56,625
[rhythmically]
Ba-ba-ba-boss man...
31
00:00:56,659 --> 00:00:57,826
I need to leave early today
32
00:00:57,860 --> 00:00:59,444
because my shrink
got me and him tickets
33
00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:01,513
to a Pitbull concert.
[Squeaks]
34
00:01:01,547 --> 00:01:03,165
And I already committed
to that.
35
00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:04,783
And so if you say
that I can't go,
36
00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:06,885
it's like you're taking
something away from me.
37
00:01:06,919 --> 00:01:08,453
Um, store's really busy.
38
00:01:08,488 --> 00:01:09,571
- I kinda need you to stay.
- Mm-hmm.
39
00:01:09,605 --> 00:01:10,872
I totally hear you.
40
00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:12,391
Um, I also don't like
what you're saying.
41
00:01:12,425 --> 00:01:13,792
So if you say no,
42
00:01:13,826 --> 00:01:16,628
I will start a fire
in the bathroom.
43
00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:18,363
Okay, I guess you can go.
44
00:01:18,398 --> 00:01:20,365
Yeah, I know I can.
[Giggles]
45
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,516
What did I tell you, huh?
46
00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:25,971
♪ The wo-o-o-orst.
47
00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:27,389
She's the worst
in the world.
48
00:01:27,423 --> 00:01:29,041
Jean-Ralphio.
How are you?
49
00:01:29,075 --> 00:01:32,060
[Triumphant music]
50
00:01:32,095 --> 00:01:37,034
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
51
00:01:49,228 --> 00:01:50,345
Hello.
52
00:01:50,379 --> 00:01:51,813
Welcome to Pawnee Videodome.
53
00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:53,181
Today we'll be screening
54
00:01:53,216 --> 00:01:56,635
Stanley Kubrick's 1957 classic
Paths Of Glory.
55
00:01:56,669 --> 00:01:59,337
It's about three men who refuse
to go on a suicide mission
56
00:01:59,372 --> 00:02:01,239
and are executed for cowardice.
57
00:02:01,274 --> 00:02:03,208
Or we could, you know,
maybe screen a different movie.
58
00:02:03,259 --> 00:02:04,976
One that's
a little bit more upbeat.
59
00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:06,394
Like Finding Nemo or...
60
00:02:06,429 --> 00:02:08,330
I could do, uh,Shoah.
61
00:02:08,364 --> 00:02:10,932
Okay,Paths Of Glory it is.
62
00:02:10,966 --> 00:02:12,584
This is the Pawnee Videodome.
63
00:02:12,618 --> 00:02:13,919
And we are here
64
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:15,487
because I started a program
to help local business.
65
00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,389
This is a Pawnee institution.
66
00:02:17,423 --> 00:02:19,274
This is the place
where Perd Hapley
67
00:02:19,308 --> 00:02:22,210
shot his movie review show
Lights, Camera, Perd.
68
00:02:22,228 --> 00:02:25,097
It's a heartwarming story,
but it's just not believable.
69
00:02:25,131 --> 00:02:28,166
Which is why
I give E. T. 1 1/2 stars.
70
00:02:28,201 --> 00:02:29,768
[Applause]
71
00:02:29,802 --> 00:02:31,970
Andy, it's over.
72
00:02:32,004 --> 00:02:33,472
Get up, Andy.
73
00:02:33,506 --> 00:02:34,756
What are you doing?
74
00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:35,957
[Stammers] What's everybody--
where are we?
75
00:02:35,992 --> 00:02:37,425
The reason I love that film
76
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:39,277
is that it's really depressing.
77
00:02:39,312 --> 00:02:41,546
Speaking of which, sadly,
next month,
78
00:02:41,597 --> 00:02:44,082
Pawnee Videodome
will be closing its doors.
79
00:02:44,117 --> 00:02:46,001
- Forever.
- No!
80
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,069
For those of you that
have attended our screenings,
81
00:02:48,103 --> 00:02:49,704
I want to thank you
for your patronage,
82
00:02:49,722 --> 00:02:52,357
though I wish you would have
rented more movies.
83
00:02:52,391 --> 00:02:54,843
Guys, we have to help out
Dennis and his business.
84
00:02:54,861 --> 00:02:56,978
Everybody rent something,
so we can help Dennis.
85
00:02:57,013 --> 00:02:58,112
Sir, will you rent something?
86
00:02:58,131 --> 00:02:59,181
Why would I do that?
87
00:02:59,215 --> 00:03:00,899
All movies are online
for free.
88
00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:02,818
I'm watching Iron Man 2
on my phone right now.
89
00:03:02,852 --> 00:03:04,252
Okay, you're not helping.
90
00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:06,671
I, for one, am going to rent
Finding Nemo.
91
00:03:06,706 --> 00:03:08,723
Ooh, we don't carry cartoons.
92
00:03:08,758 --> 00:03:10,675
But if you want a film
about the ocean,
93
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,010
we have a documentary
94
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:14,146
about the brutality
of Japan's whaling industry.
95
00:03:14,197 --> 00:03:15,914
It's called
Tears Of My Blowhole.
96
00:03:15,948 --> 00:03:17,232
And it's--it's nauseating.
97
00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:19,267
[Stammers] I'll just buy
some red vines.
98
00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:21,603
Oh, we only have
Japanese slime candy
99
00:03:21,637 --> 00:03:23,371
and, um, Bulgarian wheat balls.
100
00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:26,892
Leslie, seriously,
where are we?
101
00:03:26,926 --> 00:03:29,728
All these kids
have fathers
102
00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:31,780
and mothers
who have birthed them
103
00:03:31,814 --> 00:03:33,849
and are guiding them
through life.
104
00:03:34,383 --> 00:03:36,718
Yep, that's how it works.
105
00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:37,836
How are you feeling?
106
00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:39,905
Did you make
your dad-cision yet?
107
00:03:39,939 --> 00:03:41,489
I am 100% certain
108
00:03:41,524 --> 00:03:43,925
that I am 0% sure
of what I'm going to do.
109
00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:46,962
Ann Perkins asked me
if I would like to donate sperm,
110
00:03:46,996 --> 00:03:48,146
so she can have a baby.
111
00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:50,448
It's a battle
between my primal desire
112
00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:51,950
to bring a child
into this world
113
00:03:51,984 --> 00:03:53,485
and my paralyzing fear
114
00:03:53,519 --> 00:03:56,671
of negatively affecting
any living thing.
115
00:03:56,706 --> 00:03:58,273
There's $60 missing
from the register.
116
00:03:58,307 --> 00:04:00,125
I think Mona-Lisa's
stealing from me.
117
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:01,743
Yeah, it is
absolutely Mona-Lisa.
118
00:04:01,761 --> 00:04:03,061
100%.
She's a total klepto.
119
00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:05,313
And nympho and pyro--
all those things.
120
00:04:05,331 --> 00:04:06,531
Okay, as your CFO,
121
00:04:06,582 --> 00:04:08,133
I recommend getting rid
of her immediately.
122
00:04:08,184 --> 00:04:09,968
I'm throwing
a huge cocktail party tomorrow
123
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:11,152
for all my best clients.
124
00:04:11,187 --> 00:04:12,287
I don't have time
to find someone new.
125
00:04:12,321 --> 00:04:13,688
[Groans]
This sucks.
126
00:04:13,723 --> 00:04:16,007
You know,
when I was in high school,
127
00:04:16,042 --> 00:04:17,192
we had to spend a week
128
00:04:17,226 --> 00:04:18,760
carrying around
a sack of flour,
129
00:04:18,794 --> 00:04:20,028
pretending it was a kid.
130
00:04:20,062 --> 00:04:23,548
Why don't you
make Tom your sack of flour,
131
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:26,234
see how it feels
to parent him a little?
132
00:04:26,252 --> 00:04:28,620
Ben, that is literally
133
00:04:28,654 --> 00:04:30,372
the greatest idea
in human history.
134
00:04:30,406 --> 00:04:32,540
I heard "sack of flour"
and "high school."
135
00:04:32,574 --> 00:04:34,859
Are you dingdongs making
fake drugs for sophomores?
136
00:04:34,894 --> 00:04:37,295
Because if true,
this guy wants in.
137
00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:40,198
Yeah, just have Mr. Traeger
call me when he gets back in.
138
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:41,600
Actually, you know what?
139
00:04:41,634 --> 00:04:42,684
Don't tell him that I called.
140
00:04:42,718 --> 00:04:44,069
Just when he gets there,
can you text me
141
00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:45,070
and tell me he's back?
142
00:04:45,121 --> 00:04:46,404
You know what?
143
00:04:46,439 --> 00:04:47,889
Let's just pretend
this didn't happen, okay?
144
00:04:47,924 --> 00:04:49,925
This is Jerry Gergich calling.
Bye.
145
00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:51,776
I have to tell you
a secret.
146
00:04:51,811 --> 00:04:53,461
But if you tell anyone,
147
00:04:53,496 --> 00:04:55,747
I will kill you slowly
with a giant syringe.
148
00:04:55,781 --> 00:04:57,966
Good morning, April.
What's your secret?
149
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,501
I'm thinking about applying
to veterinary school
150
00:04:59,535 --> 00:05:00,735
in Bloomington.
151
00:05:00,769 --> 00:05:02,637
[Sighs] Oh, my God, April,
that's great!
152
00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:04,506
Whoa!
Where'd you get that?
153
00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,024
The Internet.
154
00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:08,226
So I really need
a letter of recommendation.
155
00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:09,878
And since you work
in a hospital,
156
00:05:09,912 --> 00:05:11,296
- as a janitor...
- Nurse.
157
00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:15,200
I was wondering if maybe
you would write one for me?
158
00:05:15,251 --> 00:05:16,985
Really?
159
00:05:17,019 --> 00:05:18,019
Generally, between us,
160
00:05:18,054 --> 00:05:20,255
April always has
the upper hand.
161
00:05:20,289 --> 00:05:22,924
And that hand
is usually giving me the finger
162
00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:24,442
or pouring honey
in my purse.
163
00:05:24,477 --> 00:05:26,211
But now I have
the upper hand.
164
00:05:26,245 --> 00:05:27,529
And I'm going to use it
165
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:29,180
to crush her...
166
00:05:29,215 --> 00:05:31,316
Into being nice
to me.
167
00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:33,685
I would be happy
to write you that letter.
168
00:05:33,719 --> 00:05:34,803
I actually know
the guy who runs
169
00:05:34,837 --> 00:05:36,021
the veterinary program
over there.
170
00:05:36,055 --> 00:05:37,622
Because you hooked up
with him?
171
00:05:37,673 --> 00:05:39,641
I don't hook up
with everyone I know.
172
00:05:39,675 --> 00:05:40,808
Although, yes,
we did hook up.
173
00:05:40,826 --> 00:05:42,243
But before I write you
that letter,
174
00:05:42,278 --> 00:05:44,346
you have to spend
the next week with me
175
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:45,580
and do everything I say.
176
00:05:45,614 --> 00:05:47,499
So I have to be your slave
or something?
177
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:49,317
No, you have to be
my friend.
178
00:05:49,352 --> 00:05:51,086
No, that is
so much worse.
179
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,637
Don't do that.
180
00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:54,956
I think I have a plan
of how to save your store.
181
00:05:54,991 --> 00:05:57,375
If we get
the Pawnee Historical Society
182
00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,778
to declare your store
as a historical landmark,
183
00:05:59,812 --> 00:06:01,746
then you might get enough
of a tax break
184
00:06:01,781 --> 00:06:02,897
to keep your business afloat.
185
00:06:02,932 --> 00:06:04,265
That sounds
like the government
186
00:06:04,299 --> 00:06:05,984
meddling
in private enterprise.
187
00:06:06,035 --> 00:06:07,919
Well, Ron, we all know
188
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:09,521
how much you love
the free market.
189
00:06:09,555 --> 00:06:13,074
But the Pawnee Videodome
is the only place in town
190
00:06:13,109 --> 00:06:14,909
where people gather
to do something intellectual.
191
00:06:14,944 --> 00:06:17,896
That and the slam poetry nights
at Beanie's Coffee.
192
00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:18,997
But I do not count those
193
00:06:19,031 --> 00:06:20,432
because those poems
do not rhyme.
194
00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:24,486
[Rapping style]
Anything can be a slam poem
195
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,787
if you say it like this.
196
00:06:25,805 --> 00:06:27,072
[Scoffs]
It's pointless.
197
00:06:27,106 --> 00:06:28,623
This man is a failure.
198
00:06:28,657 --> 00:06:30,709
He is not up to snuff.
199
00:06:30,743 --> 00:06:32,743
His business is failing,
and you're bailing it out.
200
00:06:32,762 --> 00:06:34,713
This is a bailout,
and I don't like it.
201
00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:36,664
And there are some pretty
intellectual conversations
202
00:06:36,682 --> 00:06:38,383
down at Barrett's Hardware.
203
00:06:38,434 --> 00:06:40,618
You may get
a little heat for this, okay?
204
00:06:40,653 --> 00:06:42,654
So use
your money wisely.
205
00:06:42,688 --> 00:06:44,889
Get popular films
that people wanna see.
206
00:06:44,924 --> 00:06:46,474
Like, uh,
207
00:06:46,492 --> 00:06:48,727
get the Tarkovsky movies
with the subtitles.
208
00:06:48,761 --> 00:06:50,111
No. Like Pixar.
209
00:06:50,146 --> 00:06:51,379
Reese Witherspoon.
210
00:06:51,414 --> 00:06:52,514
I know this is gonna hurt,
211
00:06:52,548 --> 00:06:53,629
but maybe some Michael Bay.
212
00:06:53,632 --> 00:06:55,700
What? No, no.
No.
213
00:06:57,036 --> 00:06:59,287
Tom, I have something
I need to talk to you about.
214
00:06:59,321 --> 00:07:01,840
- Do we need to sit like this?
- Yes.
215
00:07:01,874 --> 00:07:03,658
Mona-Lisa's taking advantage
of you.
216
00:07:03,692 --> 00:07:05,310
And I'm sure
that it's not easy
217
00:07:05,344 --> 00:07:07,145
when it's the sister
of a dear friend.
218
00:07:07,179 --> 00:07:08,680
Oh, no, it's not that.
219
00:07:08,731 --> 00:07:10,014
She scares the crap
out of me.
220
00:07:10,049 --> 00:07:12,300
I once saw her punch
a police horse in the face.
221
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:13,952
Speak directly to her
222
00:07:13,986 --> 00:07:17,605
and tell her,
"I will not be disrespected."
223
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,224
You're Tom Haverford.
224
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:21,793
You're a smart,
successful young man
225
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:23,728
with an adorable,
little belly.
226
00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,180
Stand up for yourself.
227
00:07:25,214 --> 00:07:27,198
Yeah, I'll talk to her
before the party.
228
00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:28,500
And if she murders me,
229
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:31,552
tell Jean-Ralphio
to clear my browser history.
230
00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:32,904
Thanks for the advice, man.
231
00:07:32,938 --> 00:07:34,722
You're welcome.
232
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:35,840
Son.
233
00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:36,925
What's that?
234
00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:38,510
- Nothing.
- All right.
235
00:07:38,544 --> 00:07:40,245
Pawnee Videodome
236
00:07:40,279 --> 00:07:42,080
is where I rented
my first Bruce Lee movie.
237
00:07:42,114 --> 00:07:45,033
And my second Bruce Lee movie.
238
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,701
And when I was
in seventh grade,
239
00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:48,686
I went out back
in the alley behind the store,
240
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:50,989
and there was
a giant hornet's nest.
241
00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:53,658
And I threw a rock at it,
and it exploded.
242
00:07:53,692 --> 00:07:55,860
- And hornets came out.
- Andy-
243
00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:57,245
[loudly]
The point is,
244
00:07:57,279 --> 00:07:58,813
obviously,
245
00:07:58,831 --> 00:08:02,650
you do not throw rocks
at a hornet's nest.
246
00:08:02,668 --> 00:08:04,169
[Stammers]
And the point is also
247
00:08:04,203 --> 00:08:06,287
that the Pawnee Videodome
is a place
248
00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:08,256
with tremendous community value,
249
00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:10,341
where people gather
to expand their horizons.
250
00:08:10,376 --> 00:08:12,427
Any other comments here
before we vo--
251
00:08:12,461 --> 00:08:13,878
- [clears throat]
- Ron?
252
00:08:13,929 --> 00:08:15,430
What are you doing
at a city council meeting?
253
00:08:15,464 --> 00:08:17,665
Are you lost?
Are you hurt?
254
00:08:17,683 --> 00:08:19,551
No, I am here
to express an opinion.
255
00:08:19,602 --> 00:08:22,020
This action
by Councilwoman Knope
256
00:08:22,054 --> 00:08:23,238
is nothing more
257
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,356
than a thinly veiled
government bailout.
258
00:08:25,391 --> 00:08:28,393
And I, for one, refuse
to let her turn this town
259
00:08:28,444 --> 00:08:30,228
into a socialist hellscape.
260
00:08:30,279 --> 00:08:31,679
Allow me to elaborate.
261
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:36,679
The government should not
prop up a failed business.
262
00:08:36,804 --> 00:08:39,956
That would be like giving food
to a mortally wounded animal
263
00:08:39,974 --> 00:08:41,457
instead of slitting
its throat
264
00:08:41,476 --> 00:08:43,460
and properly utilizing
its meat and pelt.
265
00:08:43,494 --> 00:08:46,196
Please stop talking
about wounded meat.
266
00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:49,432
Pawnee needs a place
where the community can gather
267
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,084
to discuss
and appreciate art.
268
00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:54,221
A place where you can rent
such films as Cinema Paradiso
269
00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:56,072
or Rashomon.
270
00:08:56,106 --> 00:08:57,224
You rented Rashomon?
271
00:08:57,258 --> 00:08:59,192
What was your favorite part
of that?
272
00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:00,794
I haven't rented it,
actually, yet.
273
00:09:00,828 --> 00:09:03,046
But I like the idea
that there is a place
274
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,031
where I could rent Rashomon.
275
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,033
Uh, you can
just watch it online,
276
00:09:07,084 --> 00:09:08,635
for free,
whenever you want.
277
00:09:08,669 --> 00:09:09,719
Bailiff!
278
00:09:09,754 --> 00:09:11,121
Thank you, Mr. Swanson,
279
00:09:11,155 --> 00:09:13,756
for your absurd opinion,
which is shared by no one.
280
00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:15,609
Now, are there
any more public comments
281
00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:18,645
before we vote?
Mm.
282
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,430
How much to rent
this jacket?
283
00:09:20,464 --> 00:09:23,283
Oh. Curly Sue,
that jacket is so ugly.
284
00:09:23,317 --> 00:09:24,400
You should just take it.
285
00:09:24,418 --> 00:09:25,785
It's 15 for the day,
286
00:09:25,837 --> 00:09:26,920
40 for the week.
287
00:09:26,954 --> 00:09:28,171
Thank you.
288
00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:29,523
We appreciate your business.
289
00:09:29,557 --> 00:09:31,041
Mona-Lisa!
290
00:09:31,075 --> 00:09:32,576
Did you order the champagne
for the client party tonight?
291
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:35,328
Did I order the what
for the what-what what, what?
292
00:09:35,363 --> 00:09:37,631
What are you even talking about
right now?
293
00:09:37,682 --> 00:09:39,432
Okay, we need
to discuss your work habits.
294
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:41,518
Okay, sure,
but after I take a quick nap
295
00:09:41,552 --> 00:09:44,070
because ecstasy takes
296
00:09:44,121 --> 00:09:46,373
♪ forever to leave my system
297
00:09:46,424 --> 00:09:49,225
- No. We're doing this now.
- [Groans]
298
00:09:49,243 --> 00:09:50,877
You need to start putting in
more of an effort
299
00:09:50,912 --> 00:09:52,646
and start respecting
my authority around here!
300
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:53,630
Or else what?
301
00:09:53,648 --> 00:09:55,982
Or else I'll fire you.
302
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:57,300
What did you just say?
303
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,369
I said, if you don't shape up,
I'll fire you.
304
00:09:59,387 --> 00:10:00,487
Do you understand?
305
00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:03,073
You are so freaking sexy
right now,
306
00:10:03,107 --> 00:10:04,124
I could crap my pants.
307
00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:05,959
- Ugh.
- [Kisses]
308
00:10:06,010 --> 00:10:07,243
What are you doing?
309
00:10:07,261 --> 00:10:08,311
[Screams]
310
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:09,980
I guess
it would have to be
311
00:10:10,014 --> 00:10:11,464
Channing Tatum's body,
312
00:10:11,499 --> 00:10:13,400
Ryan Gosling's face,
313
00:10:13,434 --> 00:10:16,920
and Michael Fassbender's...
sense of humor.
314
00:10:16,954 --> 00:10:18,188
What about you?
315
00:10:18,222 --> 00:10:19,188
Build your perfect guy.
316
00:10:19,207 --> 00:10:20,156
Um...
317
00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:21,758
Yao Ming's torso,
318
00:10:21,976 --> 00:10:23,243
Napoleon's brain,
319
00:10:23,277 --> 00:10:25,812
and The Hunchback
of Notre Dame's hunchback.
320
00:10:25,846 --> 00:10:26,947
Do you like my nails?
321
00:10:27,681 --> 00:10:29,032
Even though she hides it
322
00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:31,668
underneath layers of sarcasm,
resentment, and grumpiness,
323
00:10:31,702 --> 00:10:33,587
I know,
deep down somewhere,
324
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:35,138
April likes me.
325
00:10:35,172 --> 00:10:37,474
I'm kind of just fracking
for friendship.
326
00:10:37,508 --> 00:10:40,443
Gene Strackwell,
owner of Strackwell Hardware.
327
00:10:40,478 --> 00:10:43,163
Is there a form I need
to fill out for the bailout?
328
00:10:43,197 --> 00:10:45,265
[Stammers]
We're not bailing anyone out.
329
00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:48,919
Pawnee Videodome is receiving
historical landmark status.
330
00:10:48,953 --> 00:10:50,070
We've been around
way longer
331
00:10:50,104 --> 00:10:52,188
than that stupid
art house movie bullcrap.
332
00:10:52,223 --> 00:10:55,025
And people need places
to buy tools.
333
00:10:55,059 --> 00:10:56,626
Uh, you can
just buy tools online.
334
00:10:56,661 --> 00:10:57,944
Bailiff, why is he back
in here?
335
00:10:57,979 --> 00:10:59,262
How did you get back in here?
336
00:10:59,296 --> 00:11:00,664
I'll see myself out.
Don't worry about it.
337
00:11:00,698 --> 00:11:02,532
I heard you were giving out
free money.
338
00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:04,167
I need $3,000.
339
00:11:04,485 --> 00:11:05,302
Minimum.
340
00:11:05,336 --> 00:11:07,170
Mr. Fantringham,
the city of Pawnee
341
00:11:07,204 --> 00:11:08,455
is not gonna give you
a personal loan.
342
00:11:08,489 --> 00:11:10,407
What would you do
if one of your citizens
343
00:11:10,441 --> 00:11:12,909
was about to come into
some serious physical harm...
344
00:11:12,944 --> 00:11:15,228
Unless he got $3,000?
345
00:11:15,263 --> 00:11:16,496
I'd call the police.
346
00:11:16,547 --> 00:11:18,715
You cannot call
the police.
347
00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:21,651
Wilson Gromling
of the "Liberty or Die" party.
348
00:11:21,686 --> 00:11:24,254
These government handouts
are deplorable.
349
00:11:24,288 --> 00:11:25,905
You're just handing out
blank checks.
350
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:27,090
I was on food stamps.
351
00:11:27,124 --> 00:11:28,341
I was on Welfare.
352
00:11:28,392 --> 00:11:29,643
And nobody ever helped me.
353
00:11:29,677 --> 00:11:31,378
This is not
a blank check.
354
00:11:31,412 --> 00:11:33,313
I have given
specific instructions
355
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:34,564
to the Pawnee Videodome
356
00:11:34,598 --> 00:11:36,249
about how they are going
to spend their money.
357
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,585
In a few days,
Dennis will reopen.
358
00:11:38,619 --> 00:11:40,537
The store will serve
a wider range
359
00:11:40,571 --> 00:11:41,972
of Pawnee's citizens,
360
00:11:42,006 --> 00:11:45,542
and a Pawnee cultural
institution will be saved.
361
00:11:45,576 --> 00:11:47,394
- Are there any other comments?
- Yes.
362
00:11:47,428 --> 00:11:50,447
The Pawnee chapter
of the "Liberty or Die" party
363
00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:51,881
has hit some hard times.
364
00:11:51,915 --> 00:11:53,216
We were wondering
365
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,752
if maybe the town
could loan us some money.
366
00:11:55,786 --> 00:11:57,470
Mm-hmm.
367
00:11:58,505 --> 00:12:00,607
Tom, how did it go
with Mona-Lisa?
368
00:12:00,658 --> 00:12:02,625
I told her she needed
to change her attitude,
369
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,661
or I was gonna have
to fire her.
370
00:12:04,695 --> 00:12:07,480
Well, that is very responsible
and mature.
371
00:12:07,515 --> 00:12:08,648
She took it well?
372
00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:11,051
Um... yeah.
373
00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:13,903
For some reason,
she got super turned on.
374
00:12:13,938 --> 00:12:16,456
We started making out.
Hard.
375
00:12:16,490 --> 00:12:18,158
Next thing you know,
we're back at my place,
376
00:12:18,192 --> 00:12:19,559
having sex.
377
00:12:20,093 --> 00:12:21,177
We're together now.
378
00:12:21,211 --> 00:12:23,146
Hey, bitch, I need
to borrow some money
379
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:25,281
to do something that
is none of your damn beeswax,
380
00:12:25,316 --> 00:12:28,384
namely, I need to wax my bee.
381
00:12:28,402 --> 00:12:29,352
Here you go.
382
00:12:29,387 --> 00:12:31,037
I'd still hit it.
383
00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:32,422
I'm coolin' on you.
384
00:12:32,956 --> 00:12:36,026
See? Perfect!
385
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:37,911
[Sighs] Okay,
you have to choose one.
386
00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:39,229
I can't think.
387
00:12:39,263 --> 00:12:41,581
These braids you did
are making my brain hurt.
388
00:12:41,985 --> 00:12:43,616
Fine. Miranda.
389
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:44,968
No, I think
you're a Charlotte.
390
00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:47,053
You're like
a scary Charlotte.
391
00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:48,338
[Sighs]
Hey.
392
00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:49,973
Hey, you.
393
00:12:50,507 --> 00:12:52,575
What's--
what's up?
394
00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:54,310
Nothin'.
395
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:56,129
This is weird.
396
00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:57,397
- No, it's not.
- Yeah, it is.
397
00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:58,752
- Why is it weird?
- It's not weird.
398
00:12:58,783 --> 00:13:00,967
Do you want
to talk in private?
399
00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:02,752
No, anything you can say
to Ann, you can say to me
400
00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:04,804
because we're best friends
this week.
401
00:13:04,839 --> 00:13:05,939
C-can we talk later?
402
00:13:05,973 --> 00:13:06,956
- Yeah.
- Okay.
403
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:08,258
Why don't you talk now?
404
00:13:08,292 --> 00:13:09,659
- No, talk to you later.
- Chris, we can talk now.
405
00:13:09,677 --> 00:13:11,544
- What's going on, best friend?
- Nothing, never mind.
406
00:13:11,579 --> 00:13:12,979
- Tell me.
- Nothing's happening.
407
00:13:13,013 --> 00:13:14,414
Back to forced friendship.
408
00:13:14,448 --> 00:13:15,569
Hey, let's go
put on our pj's
409
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,517
and make White Russians.
So fun.
410
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,320
Councilwoman.
411
00:13:20,371 --> 00:13:21,638
I just came down
412
00:13:21,672 --> 00:13:23,523
to see the effects
of your government intervention,
413
00:13:23,557 --> 00:13:24,974
and I've got to hand it
to you--
414
00:13:24,992 --> 00:13:26,793
You really turned
this place around.
415
00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:28,728
Really?
416
00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:31,314
Oh, my God,
this is amazing, Dennis.
417
00:13:31,348 --> 00:13:32,532
- Hey.
- You did it!
418
00:13:32,566 --> 00:13:34,701
We did it!
I did it.
419
00:13:34,735 --> 00:13:36,669
- This is me.
- Yes, it was.
420
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,937
I took your advice.
421
00:13:37,972 --> 00:13:40,523
Got rid of all
those dusty, old foreign films
422
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:41,908
and used the money
for the part of our business
423
00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:43,243
that's always done
pretty well for us.
424
00:13:43,277 --> 00:13:45,161
Give the people
what they want, right?
425
00:13:45,196 --> 00:13:46,356
This isn't
what people want.
426
00:13:46,963 --> 00:13:48,948
It's definitely
what that guy wants.
427
00:13:49,499 --> 00:13:50,733
I like this store now.
428
00:13:51,051 --> 00:13:52,285
Do you realize
what you have done?
429
00:13:52,336 --> 00:13:55,755
The Pawnee government now
effectively owns a porn shop.
430
00:13:56,290 --> 00:13:58,308
You have made us
porn peddlers!
431
00:13:58,342 --> 00:14:02,312
[Laughing]
432
00:14:04,123 --> 00:14:06,272
Hello everyone,
I'm Brandi Maxxxx.
433
00:14:06,273 --> 00:14:08,824
Let's give a big round of
applause to Councilwoman Knope
434
00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:10,142
for keeping this store
in business!
435
00:14:10,176 --> 00:14:13,562
No.
Everyone stop applauding.
436
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:15,414
For the record, I was
just trying to help a place
437
00:14:15,448 --> 00:14:17,532
that had
tremendous cultural value.
438
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:20,619
Leslie, you've always been
a huge supporter of my work.
439
00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:22,171
No, no, I haven't.
440
00:14:22,205 --> 00:14:23,705
So I'm thrilled
to tell you
441
00:14:23,723 --> 00:14:25,724
that I'm playing Leslie Knope
442
00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:27,192
in the porn version
of the story
443
00:14:27,227 --> 00:14:28,761
of this government bailout!
444
00:14:28,812 --> 00:14:30,479
Please don't do that.
445
00:14:30,513 --> 00:14:32,531
- Oh, we already filmed it.
- Oh!
446
00:14:32,582 --> 00:14:34,433
The porn industry in town
was really faltering.
447
00:14:34,484 --> 00:14:35,884
But now we're back.
448
00:14:35,919 --> 00:14:37,202
You're our hero!
449
00:14:37,253 --> 00:14:39,855
Oh!
[Men cheering]
450
00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:42,107
Okay.
Are you ready?
451
00:14:42,158 --> 00:14:43,892
For you to tell me
what's going on with Chris? Yes.
452
00:14:43,927 --> 00:14:45,294
No.
To sing.
453
00:14:45,328 --> 00:14:47,446
♪ If you're lost,
you can look ♪
454
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,881
♪ and you will find me
455
00:14:48,915 --> 00:14:51,817
♪ time after time
Go.
456
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:53,535
No, tell me about Chris.
457
00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:55,070
♪ If you fall,
I will catch you ♪
458
00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:56,622
♪ I'll be waitin'...
459
00:14:56,656 --> 00:14:57,873
Tell me about Chris,
or I'm leaving,
460
00:14:57,907 --> 00:15:00,626
and I don't care
about the letter.
461
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:01,943
I wanna have a baby,
462
00:15:01,961 --> 00:15:03,645
and I asked Chris
to donate his sperm.
463
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,001
And he's taking
a really long time
464
00:15:05,014 --> 00:15:06,832
to make up his mind,
and it's really freaking me out.
465
00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:07,916
And I can't stop thinking
about it,
466
00:15:07,951 --> 00:15:09,284
and I'm obsessing
about it,
467
00:15:09,319 --> 00:15:10,569
and I want to think
about anything else but that,
468
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,222
but it's making me crazy.
469
00:15:16,042 --> 00:15:19,728
♪ Secrets stolen
470
00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:21,963
♪ from deep inside.
471
00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:23,148
- You know this song already?
- Of course I do.
472
00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:25,033
Everyone knows this song.
It's amazing.
473
00:15:25,051 --> 00:15:28,003
♪ The drum beats
out of time ♪
474
00:15:28,037 --> 00:15:29,805
Both: ♪ if you're lost,
you can look ♪
475
00:15:29,839 --> 00:15:31,874
♪ and you will find me
476
00:15:31,908 --> 00:15:34,176
♪ time after time
477
00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:36,695
♪ if you fall,
I will catch you ♪
478
00:15:36,746 --> 00:15:38,881
All: ♪ oh, I'll be waiting
479
00:15:38,915 --> 00:15:41,350
♪ time after time
480
00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:43,435
♪ time after time
481
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:46,521
♪ time after time.
482
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:50,843
This never happened.
483
00:15:52,595 --> 00:15:54,897
I made everything worse.
484
00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:56,281
If Tom were a bag of flour,
485
00:15:56,316 --> 00:15:57,916
that flour would never grow up
486
00:15:57,951 --> 00:15:59,985
to be a happy,
well-adjusted loaf of bread.
487
00:16:00,019 --> 00:16:01,286
Much less
a bran muffin,
488
00:16:01,321 --> 00:16:03,281
which is the highest honor
that flour can achieve.
489
00:16:03,289 --> 00:16:05,707
Okay, so you're
really gonna say no to Ann?
490
00:16:05,742 --> 00:16:08,327
I care about Ann very deeply,
but...
491
00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:11,163
I just don't know
if I'm cut out to be a dad.
492
00:16:11,197 --> 00:16:14,133
You know, Chris,
every parent makes mistakes.
493
00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:16,285
I mean, lord knows
I've made plenty.
494
00:16:16,319 --> 00:16:19,288
But it's the small victories
that keep you going.
495
00:16:19,322 --> 00:16:22,458
When you see your little one
take her first step
496
00:16:22,492 --> 00:16:24,276
or--or graduate college,
497
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:25,978
oh, my God, it just makes it
all worth it.
498
00:16:26,012 --> 00:16:26,995
[Chuckles]
499
00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:29,164
And another thing is if--
500
00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,150
If, like--
501
00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:33,568
If I--
[Exhales]
502
00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:35,220
You know,
and then your kid's--
503
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,605
because you're like--vrrrr--
I don't know.
504
00:16:36,639 --> 00:16:37,790
And everyone's like,
505
00:16:37,824 --> 00:16:39,258
"Oh."
[Babbles]
506
00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:40,476
Oh, I'm sorry, guys.
507
00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:42,528
I--no one ever lets me
talk this long.
508
00:16:42,562 --> 00:16:43,645
I just got lost.
509
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,946
It was a beautiful point.
510
00:16:44,964 --> 00:16:46,765
And very well said,
right up until that moment
511
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,034
that you started babbling
incoherently.
512
00:16:49,568 --> 00:16:51,353
And I'll have
the number eight.
513
00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:54,022
That's a party platter.
It serves 12 people.
514
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,390
I know
what I'm about, son.
515
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:57,792
Go ahead, Ron.
Let me have it.
516
00:16:57,811 --> 00:16:59,060
Oh, wait,
I'll do it for you.
517
00:16:59,078 --> 00:17:00,963
[As Ron]
I told you so, Leslie.
518
00:17:00,997 --> 00:17:02,214
This is what happens
519
00:17:02,248 --> 00:17:03,615
when the government interferes
with business.
520
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:05,317
Government is bad,
business is good.
521
00:17:05,368 --> 00:17:07,553
Free market.
[Babbles goofily]
522
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,304
Capitalism
is the only way, Leslie.
523
00:17:09,339 --> 00:17:11,373
It moves
our country forward.
524
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:12,908
It's what makes
America great.
525
00:17:12,926 --> 00:17:15,694
And England okay
and France terrible.
526
00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:17,946
I like capitalism.
I love competition.
527
00:17:17,981 --> 00:17:19,264
I'm more competitive
than you.
528
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,332
- I don't think so.
- I think so.
529
00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:21,767
- Settle down.
- No, settle up.
530
00:17:21,801 --> 00:17:23,252
'Cause the bill's been paid,
and I've paid it,
531
00:17:23,286 --> 00:17:24,453
and I've won.
532
00:17:24,487 --> 00:17:26,622
Look, the point is
there has to be a way
533
00:17:26,656 --> 00:17:27,739
for the government
to help places
534
00:17:27,774 --> 00:17:28,974
that add community value
535
00:17:29,008 --> 00:17:31,226
but don't necessarily
rake in the money.
536
00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:32,461
There is not.
537
00:17:32,995 --> 00:17:34,263
- [Sighs]
- The free market is a jungle.
538
00:17:34,297 --> 00:17:37,449
It's beautiful and brutal
and should be left alone.
539
00:17:37,483 --> 00:17:39,568
When a business fails,
it dies,
540
00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:41,086
and a new, better one
takes its place.
541
00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:44,690
Just let business be business
and government be government.
542
00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:45,807
Here you go.
543
00:17:45,842 --> 00:17:48,643
And one number eight.
544
00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:50,312
All right, party time.
545
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,581
I would suggest sticking
around and watching him eat it
546
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:53,749
'cause it only takes
four minutes,
547
00:17:53,783 --> 00:17:54,816
and it's pretty amazing.
548
00:17:54,994 --> 00:17:57,020
These will not
be necessary.
549
00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:01,458
Here is your letter
of recommendation,
550
00:18:01,525 --> 00:18:02,991
so you're off the hook.
551
00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:04,793
No need to pretend
to be my friend anymore.
552
00:18:04,828 --> 00:18:06,729
Thank God.
553
00:18:06,763 --> 00:18:08,397
I can't tell
if you actually hate me
554
00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:09,882
or if this
is just how you are,
555
00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,967
but I had fun hanging out
with you.
556
00:18:12,002 --> 00:18:15,187
So I don't care what you say,
you're my friend.
557
00:18:15,221 --> 00:18:16,989
And I hope you get
into veterinary school
558
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,425
because I like you,
so there.
559
00:18:19,776 --> 00:18:21,293
I got you something too.
560
00:18:21,928 --> 00:18:23,262
A baby-naming book.
561
00:18:23,396 --> 00:18:24,863
I hope it works out
with Chris.
562
00:18:24,898 --> 00:18:27,900
And if it doesn't, I hope
it works out with someone.
563
00:18:27,951 --> 00:18:29,034
We're gonna hug now.
564
00:18:29,069 --> 00:18:30,336
- No.
- Yeah.
565
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:31,604
Ow! You're hurting me!
566
00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:34,523
Mm! Lot of hot "D"
in here tonight.
567
00:18:34,557 --> 00:18:36,575
Ooh, look
at that chunky hunky.
568
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:37,977
Go over there
and talk to him
569
00:18:38,011 --> 00:18:39,171
and find out
what his deal is.
570
00:18:39,179 --> 00:18:40,946
No, I'm not gonna talk
to some other guy.
571
00:18:40,981 --> 00:18:42,581
When we're together,
you can't check out other guys.
572
00:18:42,616 --> 00:18:43,816
That's the deal.
573
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:45,200
Or else it's over between us,
you understand?
574
00:18:45,218 --> 00:18:48,220
Mm! Tommy laying down the law.
A little feisty.
575
00:18:48,254 --> 00:18:50,122
I like that, okay?
I'ma go get a soda.
576
00:18:50,156 --> 00:18:51,790
Do you want
to have sex somewhere
577
00:18:51,825 --> 00:18:53,309
after I do that?
578
00:18:53,343 --> 00:18:54,929
- Sure.
- All right.
579
00:18:57,763 --> 00:18:58,762
[Grunts]
580
00:18:58,763 --> 00:18:59,832
Well.
581
00:18:59,883 --> 00:19:02,785
Looks like things
with Mona-Lisa are...
582
00:19:02,819 --> 00:19:04,019
Continuing.
583
00:19:04,054 --> 00:19:05,904
Yeah. I think
I'm gradually transforming her
584
00:19:05,939 --> 00:19:07,773
from truly terrible
to only kinda terrible.
585
00:19:07,807 --> 00:19:09,925
It's the small victories,
you know?
586
00:19:09,959 --> 00:19:11,293
Indeed.
587
00:19:11,328 --> 00:19:12,945
The small victories.
588
00:19:12,979 --> 00:19:14,129
I know
she's kind of a monster,
589
00:19:14,164 --> 00:19:15,381
but whatever.
590
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,516
I'm young.
She's sexy.
591
00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,084
I'm just gonna see
where this roller coaster goes.
592
00:19:19,135 --> 00:19:20,769
Fair enough.
593
00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:22,655
Is there anything else
you need help with?
594
00:19:22,689 --> 00:19:24,206
Have you learned
how to ride a bike yet?
595
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,791
Yeah.
I'm 28 years old.
596
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:26,725
[Laughs]
597
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,079
I'm proud of you, bud.
598
00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:31,664
Thanks!
599
00:19:32,198 --> 00:19:33,098
Ann Perkins.
600
00:19:33,533 --> 00:19:35,868
Is that
a happy "Ann Perkins,"
601
00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:37,919
or is that
a bad-news "Ann Perkins"?
602
00:19:37,937 --> 00:19:39,254
Oh, happy.
Obviously.
603
00:19:39,289 --> 00:19:40,610
The bad-news one
sounds like this.
604
00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:42,307
[Upbeat]
"Ann Perkins."
605
00:19:42,342 --> 00:19:43,659
Oh.
606
00:19:43,693 --> 00:19:44,893
Well, I've thought about it.
607
00:19:44,928 --> 00:19:46,061
And I'm in.
608
00:19:46,095 --> 00:19:47,362
I want to be a parent.
609
00:19:47,397 --> 00:19:49,364
I want to raise a child,
610
00:19:49,415 --> 00:19:51,983
with all the ups and downs
611
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:55,504
and challenges
that comes with it.
612
00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:57,289
Chris, this is so great.
613
00:19:57,323 --> 00:19:59,174
- I'm so happy.
- Me too.
614
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:02,344
Well, I guess your uter-you
and my uter-me
615
00:20:02,378 --> 00:20:04,212
are now our uter-us.
616
00:20:04,263 --> 00:20:06,031
Don't make me change my mind.
[Pats shoulder]
617
00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:09,635
Although we are all sad
and deeply grossed out
618
00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:11,103
that the Pawnee Videodome
619
00:20:11,137 --> 00:20:13,122
is turning
into a porno palace,
620
00:20:13,156 --> 00:20:15,524
I am happy to announce
that the Pawnee government
621
00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:18,660
will be hosting
a weekly movie night
622
00:20:18,694 --> 00:20:20,028
here at the Community Center.
623
00:20:20,046 --> 00:20:22,965
There will be free screenings
followed by a discussion
624
00:20:22,999 --> 00:20:25,334
led by local film buff
Dennis Lerpiss.
625
00:20:25,368 --> 00:20:26,969
Tonight's film is...
626
00:20:27,003 --> 00:20:28,504
The Sound Of Music.
627
00:20:28,538 --> 00:20:29,537
[Applause]
628
00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:31,006
And... action.
629
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,926
I'm glad you're here,
Dong Swanson.
630
00:20:33,977 --> 00:20:36,127
The local video store's
about to go under.
631
00:20:36,162 --> 00:20:37,312
We have to save it.
632
00:20:37,347 --> 00:20:38,547
Oh, this is the wrong movie.
633
00:20:38,548 --> 00:20:39,998
We ne--
shut this down, please.
634
00:20:40,033 --> 00:20:41,784
- Shut it down.
- Sorry, Leslie.
635
00:20:42,118 --> 00:20:43,469
I'm a strict libertarian,
636
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,354
and I don't believe in bailouts.
637
00:20:45,388 --> 00:20:47,122
This is not how it happened.
638
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,123
[Groovy music]
639
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:51,623
_
640
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:56,623
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com