1
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:08,890
Previously on In Treatment.

2
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:12,040
I hear you, Paul, you wanna kick me
out of therapy, I get it.

3
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:17,940
No, I don't want to kick you out, absolutely not.
I think that you tossed me out a long time ago.

4
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,930
You don't want me to treat you
as a psychologist.

5
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:24,680
You want me to treat you
as somebody who's in love with you.

6
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:29,730
Let's face it, I have not been your therapist
for a very long time, Laura.

7
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,630
Maybe you can't treat me
because you're in love with me, too.

8
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,390
Where you headed?

9
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,310
You need a ride?

10
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,230
Laura.

11
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,070
Let's do it.

12
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:35,850
Paul?

13
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,470
Paul?

14
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,070
Sorry. Um, you said that it, uh...

15
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,630
that it happened in the kitchen.

16
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:11,050
No, it started in the kitchen.
Are you listening to me?

17
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:12,930
Yes. Yes, I am.

18
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:15,540
I said I wanted to do it right there
on the counter.

19
00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:19,730
So when he picked me up, I thought, "OK,"
but no, he took me into the bedroom

20
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:22,890
and he put me down
ever so gently like I was,

21
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,050
I don't know, a porcelain vase or something.

22
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:30,250
Everything was very cautious, hesitant,
like he didn't know what to do.

23
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,970
Maybe he didn't know what to do
with someone who wasn't his wife.

24
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:37,450
Yeah, he kept telling me he hasn't done it
with anyone but his wife for ten years

25
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:39,290
and hardly then.

26
00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:43,410
It was very sweet, actually.

27
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,850
He imitated me.

28
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He did everything I did.
I took off his shirt, he took off my shirt.

29
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:56,550
I told him he has a fantastic body
because... he does, and he goes, "So do you."

30
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:02,240
At one point he strokes my hair
and he asks me what kind of shampoo I use.

31
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,280
(Giggles)

32
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:08,550
Can you believe this? We're lying face to face,
petting each other like high school kids.

33
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:15,850
Anyway, I get sick of it, so I say to myself,
"Maybe he's waiting for a signal.

34
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,360
"Maybe he wants me to lead.

35
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:23,050
"Maybe if I start doing something,
things will finally get moving, so ..."

36
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,690
I went down on him.

37
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,310
Everything was so proper. I didn't want proper,
I just wanted him to fuck

38
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:35,630
without all the bullshit about my shampoo
and my beautiful breasts

39
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,790
and my excellent taste in curtains.

40
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,970
So, did that move things along?

41
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,230
- What, the blowjob?
- Mm-hm.

44
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,420
You know what I mean?
He doesn't really like it.

45
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,550
It's like he's carrying out an assignment,
a mission, like a pilot.

46
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,810
What do you mean, like a, like a pilot?

47
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,890
You know those guys
that mark tally points on their fighter jet

48
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,500
to keep track of how many planes
they shot down?

49
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,430
It was like that, like he was keeping score.

50
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,870
I mean, he didn't even touch me
while he was going at it.

51
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:31,390
He was just leaning on his elbows as if he
didn't want any connection between us,

52
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,440
except where necessary.

53
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,530
And i kept trying to bring my face closer
to his to kiss him,

54
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,810
and he just kept pulling his face away

55
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,830
as if he couldn't stand me.

56
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,870
And that was it. It was very fast,

57
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,150
two minutes, more or less, and then he came.

58
00:04:57,700 --> 00:05:00,930
And then he went straight to the bathroom
and I just lay there in shock.

59
00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:04,760
I mean, he didn't even ask me how it was,
if I was OK or not. Nothing.

60
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,550
Anyway, I made myself come.

61
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,470
- While he was in the bathroom?
- No, when he got back.

62
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:13,970
I had to.

63
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:16,370
I mean, I hate to be left high and dry.

64
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,730
He was just lying on his back,
conducting dialogue with the ceiling,

65
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,410
or maybe with his wife or maybe with you,

66
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:28,690
and he looked so fucking sexy,
so I climbed on top of his leg.

67
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,970
Thought he'd get the hint
and he'd start something, but nothing.

68
00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:39,050
So I just kept going, riding his thigh.

69
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,190
Felt good.

70
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:49,850
Then I was overwhelmed
with this sadness for him.

71
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,170
Broke my heart, this guy.

72
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,900
He's fragile, really, that's what he is.

73
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,820
I don't think he could tell what I was thinking.

74
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,950
I was completely in my own head
and I was thinking to myself,

75
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,070
"Shit, this is gonna be
the saddest orgasm of my life."

76
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:14,770
Here I am, riding this hot, sad guy's thigh.

77
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,130
I was expecting something
pitiful and measly, right?

78
00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:21,610
But, no. A volcano is a cliché
but that's what it was.

79
00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:25,490
It was like ten orgasms exploding at once.

80
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,010
It's hard to describe.

81
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:32,680
But I screamed.
I did, I screamed and I think I scared him.

82
00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:36,850
You would've been really proud of me.

83
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,310
- Why would I have been proud?
- I mean, as my therapist.

84
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,070
You know, that I finally connected
with myself.

85
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,970
It doesn't happen very often.

86
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,030
Sorry.

87
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,910
That was, uh, a bit revealing.

88
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,830
But you must be used to it.

89
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,070
Confessions like that,
probably doesn't impress you any more.

90
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:17,030
- Actually, it makes a big impression.
- Really? What sort of impression?

91
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:20,610
Well, you can look at it in all kinds of ways

92
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:24,930
but one thing seems perfectly plain to me,
you slept with my patient.

93
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,190
Excuse me?

94
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,230
He isn't your only patient.
He doesn't belong to you.

95
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,660
He's a great guy. OK, a little fucked up,
a little insecure in bed maybe,

96
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,790
but he's got potential. I think I'm gonna have
a terrific affair with him.

97
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,870
Yea, but the rest it's no coincidence
that you went to bed with him

98
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,190
and I don't think it's a coincidence
that you began your affair

99
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,070
shortly after we talked
about your quitting therapy.

100
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:52,930
Are you saying that I did this
to get back at you?

101
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:59,290
Remember the guy you told me about,
the guy you met at the bar,

102
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:01,930
that you went to the rest room with?

103
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,990
You said that you felt you were with me.

104
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,150
It's not the same thing, Paul.

105
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,430
Are you sure it isn't?
It was during that session, Laura,

106
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,750
that you decided to tell me
that you were in love with me.

107
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:20,410
And that's how you chose to tell me
how you felt about me,

108
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,690
by having sex with another man.

109
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:25,970
One thing that I put out there,
without hinting or manipulation,

110
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is that I've wanted you.

111
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,830
So I don't need to fuck another man
just to get my message across.

112
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,430
What made you so sad about Alex?

113
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:48,410
His Ioneliness, he's a sad guy.

114
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,310
- Did you feel sad?
- No, I felt horny.

115
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:59,070
- So sadness for him but none for yourself.
- What are you trying to get at here?

116
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,030
Maybe you did feel sadness

117
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,710
because you were with a man
you didn't really want to be with.

118
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:10,970
Are you saying when I was fucking Alex,
I was fucking you?

119
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,690
- Were you?
- Don't flatter yourself.

120
00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:14,810
Well, it's not really a compliment.

121
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:19,800
I think it seems more like, "Look what you
missed out on, Paul, you coward, you idiot."

122
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,310
Mm.

123
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:33,730
I'm tired.

124
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,410
I'm really so tired.

125
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,150
(Sighs)

126
00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,050
So, uh,

127
00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:01,770
after Alex left, I couldn't fall asleep.

128
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:06,440
I suddenly had this incredible craving
for cheesecake.

129
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,750
- Cheesecake.
- You know those really fluffy cheesecakes

130
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,630
with that amazing smell?

131
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,890
Well, my mother used to bake those.

132
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:23,410
Every Friday afternoon, after I finished playing
with my friends, I used to come home.

133
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:26,020
That smell was intoxicating.

134
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,510
It was like a trail of scent paving my way home.

135
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,030
Like a cartoon character.

136
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,570
Then my mother got sick.

137
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:51,310
The cancer was only stage one
at that point, when they found it.

138
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,950
When she started chemo, she stopped baking.

139
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,590
You know, she was tired, she had no energy.

140
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:04,740
That was the first sign, the first sign that
something really big was about to happen.

141
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:11,250
When she was really sick, I used to find myself
roaming the halls of the apartment building,

142
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,370
climbing up and down the stairs,
searching for that smell of cheesecake.

143
00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:18,610
Shit, how corny is that?

144
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:26,500
And once I remember a woman coming out
of her apartment and she, uh... Thank you.

145
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,750
(Sniffs)

146
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,970
...and she saw me standing out there,
she didn't know who I was.

147
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,220
She must've been new to the building.

148
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,390
And she was yelling at me,
"Go away, go on, go home.

149
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,790
"What are you doing standing out here?"

150
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:03,370
Why do you think you had that
particular memory the other night?

151
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,010
I don't know.

152
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,110
(Sighs)

153
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,190
I searched through my whole apartment
looking for a recipe, but...

154
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,110
Not that that would've done any good.
My fridge is completely empty.

155
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,880
I thought about going out to get a piece

156
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:28,190
but it was 3am, so I just gave up
and went to sleep.

157
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,820
Only then the phone rang and it was Alex.
He called to thank me

158
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:37,110
and tell me he had an amazing time with me
and that he wants to see me again.

159
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,150
Go figure, huh?

160
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,780
He's supposed to pick me up from here soon.

161
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,380
- From here?
- Yeah, that's what he said.

162
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,710
Aren't you afraid
that Andrew will find out about this or...

163
00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:53,250
or maybe you want to get caught?

164
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,650
Andrew and I split up.

165
00:12:55,700 --> 00:13:00,170
- What?
- For good. And it is for good.

166
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:04,530
He's a nice guy, he'll make a nice husband
for someone who deserves him.

167
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,670
But obviously not for you.

168
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,580
Well, I nearly fuck guys in bathroom stalls
as you, um, very kindly reminded me.

169
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,140
I just couldn't stand up there
in front of everyone and promise to...

170
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,470
Well, I just shouldn't ever make promises.

171
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:23,190
Hey, I promise not to make
any more promises, how's that?

172
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:29,330
So I told him that
"I'm sorry but I can't marry you.

173
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:34,570
"I am incapable of being the woman you want,
the kind of woman you deserve."

174
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,110
I put it all on me. Well, because it is all me.

175
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,830
And he looked at me and he said,
"Thank you, Laura.

176
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:48,010
"Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

177
00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:52,210
"God exists. It's a fact.

178
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,390
"He's made me realise who and what you are

179
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,710
"and he's saved me from a long,
endless death with you."

180
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,510
- Flattering, no?
- He must be devastated. Maybe he feels...

181
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,180
- I don't care how he feels.
- You don't care how...

182
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,190
No no not right now and i really don't feel like talking
about Andrew side of the story.

183
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:15,730
- Why does that make you so upset?
- Because I'm the one in therapy here Paul.

184
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:20,830
Andrew has his own therapist. She'll take care of him.
Don't worry about him, worry about me.

185
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:24,010
- I am taking care of you.
- No, you are not, you're kicking me out of therapy.

186
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:26,810
I am not kicking you out.
I brought it up as an option.

187
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,950
Don't sugar-coat it.
You even tried to blame it on me.

188
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,870
You made up the most ridiculous case
as to why I was late.

189
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,460
It was nasty, a bullshit excuse,
instead of levelling with me

190
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,220
and saying, "I have feelings for you, too,
it's hard for me to deal with."

191
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,500
Instead of figuring it out so we could
 continue therapy so that we can what?

192
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,900
"What? So that we could be together,
is that what you mean?"
Instead of figuring it out so we could
 continue therapy so that we can what?

193
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,160
"What? So that we could be together,
is that what you mean?"

194
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,750
We've been together for a year, Paul.

195
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,350
A year.

196
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:57,830
There's more intimacy between us
than most couples in the world, isn't that right?

197
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:02,940
Laura, i don't deny that as a certain intimacy that can develop between...
- "A certain intimacy, intimacy like ..."

198
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,930
Cut the crap, Paul.

199
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,330
Is there intimacy here or not?

200
00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:13,490
(Laura sighs)

201
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,030
Yes. There is.

202
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,870
And now you're willing to throw that all away?

203
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,880
- And why, because y-you're scared?
- Laura...

204
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,580
I know that, as a therapist,
you tell yourself it's part of therapy

205
00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:38,970
to find out why I'm in love with you
and how that's linked to my past, i know that

206
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,910
but isn't that always the way it works, Paul?

207
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,430
Doesn't our past always determine
who we fall in love with?

208
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,550
So what if you can trace it back to the
withholding mother, the narcissistic father,

209
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,830
the parent who's missing?
Does that make our love any less real?

210
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:59,140
- But some times circumstances are let's say less than ideal...
- I know that.

211
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:01,930
I know you can delude yourself into thi...

212
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:04,490
Only I am not deluded.

213
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:07,480
Not about you,
not about how I feel about you,

214
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:13,030
why I feel it, there's always gonna be an
explanation, but that I feel it is irrefutable.

215
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:20,780
I don't know how to convince you any more Paul.

216
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:28,510
And you think that I've imagined this fairy tale,
this happily ever after, that I've idealised you.

217
00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:33,970
You think this is a case of a miserable patient sitting
in front of her, her therapist,

218
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:38,610
imagining that you're my superman,
perfect, saviour, mentor.

219
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,270
- I don't see you that way at all.
- How do you really see me?

220
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,330
I see you the way you are.

221
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,170
Your... imperfections.

222
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:56,410
You're not at ease with your body,
with your profession, with who you've become.

223
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:03,470
I don't know much about your life
but I imagine you're not happy at home.

224
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,310
Something in you is restless, damaged.

225
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,510
There's a yearning there
and I know it when I see it.

226
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:14,370
And I want you just the way you are.

227
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:19,160
Damaged and restless, yearning.
Warts and all.

228
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:25,360
- So you can fix me?
- God, You can be such a fucking prick when you wanna be,
you know that?

229
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:25,700
"So that I can fix you, then?"
- So you can fix me?
- God, You can be such a fucking prick when you wanna be,
you know that?

230
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,430
"So that I can fix you, then?"

231
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,810
You know, um, next month I'll be 30

232
00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:46,280
and I've been thinking to myself,
"I've hated myself for 30 years."

233
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,670
It's enough. I don't want to any more.

234
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,790
Why do you hate yourself?

235
00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:01,130
- You're surprised?
- I've never heard you say it before.

236
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,640
Well, I guess you save the best for last.

237
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,590
That's the best, Laura, that you hate yourself?

238
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:12,890
I don't know, Paul, i don't know, you're surprised
 something people realise about me after an hour.

239
00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:15,370
I didn't know it after an hour, i didn't know after a year.

240
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,550
It's not easy for me to hear you say that.

241
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,950
Maybe you should try and find out
why it's so hard for you.

242
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,670
Maybe you should see someone.

243
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,750
(Laughs) Yeah. I've been thinking about that.

244
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:37,060
Seriously, I think, um, the reason
it's hard for me to hear it is because I...

245
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:40,490
I know that you have so many reasons to...

246
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,010
to love yourself.

247
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:47,900
So many things to be really proud of,
yet you choose to ignore them. Why?

248
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,710
Haven't you ever hated yourself?

249
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,870
Yeah. I guess I did.

250
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,030
Once.

251
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,870
(Sighs) When I was a kid, you know

252
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:10,900
My mother, then she was
in pretty bad shape and, um...

253
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:13,600
I took care of her, but, uh...

254
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:17,930
(Clears throat)
I couldn't...

255
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:21,690
I couldn't save her from herself, you know?

256
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,630
I guess I hated myself for that.

257
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,470
Was she sick?

258
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,190
She was in a difficult emotional state.

259
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,920
I thought that I could pull her out of it. I...

260
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:42,130
I used to cook her all these elaborate meals

261
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,110
but... she wouldn't eat them.

262
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,310
Couldn't understand why.
Like every kid, I thought it was my fault.

263
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:54,090
There was something that I wasn't doing.
Maybe I could do something else.

264
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,990
- But you know that's not true?
- I know that now, yes.

265
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,870
Have you forgiven yourself?

266
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,430
I think so. Took a long time.

267
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,710
(Sighs) How does that feel?

268
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,930
I mean, really. I'm curious.

269
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:21,690
It was like a relief, to tell you the truth,

270
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:26,190
to know that that burden is gone,
the burden of blame.

271
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,410
And to know, deep down,

272
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:33,890
that it never belonged there
in the first place.

273
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,210
Mm.

274
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,870
Maybe that's why you became a psychologist,

275
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,190
to help others with their burdens.

276
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:52,090
Yeah, maybe.

277
00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:55,610
So you're a product of your past, too.

278
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,030
Will, uh, that be cash or cheque?

279
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,140
- Can I owe you, then?
- Sure.

280
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,470
Mm-hm.

281
00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:14,120
Anyway, I know where you live.

282
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:17,690
Yes, you do.

283
00:21:29,260 --> 00:21:31,050
(Sighs)

284
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,110
I should get going. Alex is waiting for me.

285
00:21:49,940 --> 00:21:52,450
- OK.
- Yeah.

286
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,390
- I forgot, I haven't paid you.
- Oh, that's OK, it'll do next week.

287
00:22:06,940 --> 00:22:08,490
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

288
00:22:08,540 --> 00:22:10,330
- Bye.
- Bye.

289
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
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