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Previously on Californication...
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00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,904
What do you do
in the real world?
3
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I traverse the globe
in the company of musicians.
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- You're a groupie.
- Muse...
5
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would really be more
applicable.
6
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,382
Men have written songs
about me.
7
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I can see why.
Do you want to get high?
8
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Does the Pope shit
in the woods?
9
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Have anything to roll with?
10
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They don't call it
"The Good Book" for nothing.
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I feel so bad.
12
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- I need to hit the road, love.
- This is fate.
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Tiny talked about you
all the time.
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He said that you had
an uncanny ability
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to suck killer riffs
out of him.
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I will have you know, Hank,
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00:00:30,035 --> 00:00:31,568
that I was a very good
little Catholic schoolgirl.
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Are you trying to turn me on?
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My parents, they hit me
pretty hard once upon a time.
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I'm still smarting.
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I played at this stupid
little church social.
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Of course, all my mom
had to say was
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that I looked like
a slut up there.
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Methinks you like
this one, Faith.
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She likes him.
I can tell.
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You seem to have
a real connection with this one.
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It could be a real thing.
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I have big news.
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Tonight I am making love
to a woman.
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Karen, this is bullshit.
He poops on people.
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That woman is amazing.
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Okay, so the reason I've
summoned you both to dinner--
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- Oh, God!
- I have news.
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Jesus Christ.
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Why do you go there so quickly?
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Because it's never
good news with her.
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It's always disgusting,
stomach-churning awful.
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She's bad-news Becca.
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Could you at least
let her speak first?
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Please. I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
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- So I've decided--
- To go back to school!
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That is awesome.
Shut up!
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Of course you have.
Up high.
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Someone. Anyone.
45
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I've decided to go abroad
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for an indeterminate
amount of time.
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- Wow.
- Why?
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I hate L.A.
49
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Okay, word.
I'm with you on that.
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But go back to school,
graduate,
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and then you can go abroad.
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I want to make
a literary pilgrimage.
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I want to follow
in the footsteps
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of my favorite
expatriate writers...
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- I love that.
- Burroughs,
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Paul Bowles, Henry Miller.
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Sweetie, that's wonderful.
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Going on a literary pilgrimage
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does not make you a writer.
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The only thing
that makes you a writer
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is gluing your ass in a seat
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and getting
what's inside your head
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out on the paper.
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Everything else is a pose.
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You can expat yourself
on the back
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and go "pilgrimate"
after you've done something,
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after you're had some success.
Why can't I do both?
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It just seems so romantic.
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That's just it, Becca.
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You know, things
that seem romantic
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- very rarely are.
- Ain't that the truth.
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Oh, don't get all loaded
with me, woman.
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- Another good talk.
- No, sweetie--
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Becca, I love the idea.
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- You know...
- Ugh!
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I think we can get through
all this muck and mire
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if we just gave in
to our baser instincts
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and engaged in a little
therapeutic hate-fucking.
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Okay, fine.
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You know, I'm not sure I'd be
into it even if you were.
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You know why? Because
you're sullied...and shit.
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- You love that shit.
- No, no, you're just--
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you're all soiled...
and shit.
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Sullied...shit.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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- Hey.
- Hi.
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How are you?
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- How's it going?
- Is this a bad time?
89
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No, of course not.
This is Beckett.
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This is Hank Moody.
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He's a writer and a drinker.
Thank you.
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He's working on that musical
with your brother.
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- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.
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I hope that spoiled
little ginger's
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- treating you all right.
- Yeah.
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00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:10,971
Now, he's sweet, actually.
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I just got to slap him upside
the head every now and then...
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Or give him a titty twister.
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Don't I know it.
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Beckett just got off the road.
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Yeah, Faith's been kind enough
to house-sit for me
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- while I've been gone.
- Ah.
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And what is my reward?
I get kicked to the curb.
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Come on.
I met a model in Australia,
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so she's moving in.
Who knows?
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She might even be the one.
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Oh, baby, good luck with that.
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Well, I got to try, right?
You got to keep trying.
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You do?
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It's not as if
you're ever gonna
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let me make an honest groupie
out of you.
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Well, you never asked, so...
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Hey, does Atticus know
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about this special
little friendship?
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- Fuck, no.
- Oh, God, no.
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It would absolutely
destroy him.
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His head would explode.
Which would fuck up
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that fabulous weave
he's got going.
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Let's do it.
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Oh, I like this guy.
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Yeah, he's okay.
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♪ Here she comes now,
check her style ♪
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♪ she's got golden earrings,
diamond smiles ♪
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- You okay?
- Yeah. Why?
125
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I don't know--you kind of got
the bum's rush back there.
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Hey!
Comes with the territory.
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Guy goes on tour
for the better part of a year,
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he's gonna come back
with something...
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or someone.
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I don't need your pity, Hank.
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Okay, well,
then I will retract it,
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and you will see neither
hide nor hair of it ever again.
133
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Thank you.
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- But how do you live?
- What do you mean?
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Well, you don't work.
You just kind of...
136
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- Float?
- Yeah.
137
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Yes, I do.
And I like it that way.
138
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- Here's your beers.
- Thank you, sir.
139
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,802
Things just have a way
of working out.
140
00:05:48,836 --> 00:05:51,271
And men have been
especially kind to me.
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Understandably so.
But what is next?
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I'm not sure yet.
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I think we should
keep drinking,
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and something will eventually
suggest itself.
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That's what my mom
always used to say.
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You can crash at Charlie's
if you need to.
147
00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:07,053
But where would I sleep?
148
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What?
149
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:22,102
Telemarketers?
150
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Worse--my mother.
She's a bit of a cunt.
151
00:06:24,806 --> 00:06:28,141
Scratch that--she takes the warm
and fuzzy out of "cunt."
152
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Ooh, I like that.
And I'm gonna steal that.
153
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Fair warning--
one day I will use that.
154
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Oh, be my guest.
155
00:06:34,449 --> 00:06:36,516
I guarantee you
she wants me to come home.
156
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Moms are good like that.
Yep.
157
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Well, when I do,
it's always a fucking disaster.
158
00:06:43,458 --> 00:06:45,792
She doesn't exactly approve
of the lifestyle.
159
00:06:45,827 --> 00:06:47,327
Moms are good like that too.
160
00:06:47,361 --> 00:06:49,796
- How long's it been?
- Fuck if I know, dude.
161
00:06:49,831 --> 00:06:51,698
I've been with the circus
a while.
162
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So let's just say
it's been a spell.
163
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If you want some advice
from a guy
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00:06:55,636 --> 00:06:57,837
who's watching his daughter
sow some of her wilder oats,
165
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you should go visit 'em.
166
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What's the harm?
Just throw 'em a bone.
167
00:07:03,744 --> 00:07:07,447
Okay.
I'll go if you go.
168
00:07:07,515 --> 00:07:09,816
- What?
- Come on.
169
00:07:09,851 --> 00:07:11,685
It'll be super awesome
bringing home
170
00:07:11,719 --> 00:07:13,520
a relatively normal
boyfriend type.
171
00:07:13,554 --> 00:07:16,122
Thank you.
Gee, thanks.
172
00:07:16,157 --> 00:07:17,824
Don't get me wrong--
you are as sick as they come,
173
00:07:17,859 --> 00:07:19,459
but you're a little bit better
at passing for normal.
174
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Do I have to get on a plane?
175
00:07:20,928 --> 00:07:24,364
Nope.
Just the 405.
176
00:07:24,398 --> 00:07:28,034
♪ She says, "Man, I got to
get out of this town ♪
177
00:07:28,069 --> 00:07:32,205
♪ "man, I got to
get out of this pain ♪
178
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,042
♪ "man, I got to
get out of this town ♪
179
00:07:36,077 --> 00:07:37,844
♪ "out of this town
180
00:07:37,879 --> 00:07:40,547
♪ and out of L.A."
181
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- Let's do it.
- Pretty sweet, huh?
182
00:07:57,565 --> 00:07:59,866
I know this place.
183
00:07:59,901 --> 00:08:01,434
I grew up in this place.
184
00:08:01,469 --> 00:08:04,304
It was about
3,000 miles away, though.
185
00:08:04,372 --> 00:08:07,207
Oh...
I don't know--
186
00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:09,209
getting back in the car
and driving really fast
187
00:08:09,243 --> 00:08:11,711
into a wall is looking pretty
fucking appealing right now.
188
00:08:11,746 --> 00:08:13,513
Oh, come on,
it's time to face the muzak.
189
00:08:13,548 --> 00:08:16,216
Too late.
190
00:08:19,086 --> 00:08:22,722
Faith?
Is that you?
191
00:08:22,757 --> 00:08:24,090
- Hey, mom.
- I've been calling you.
192
00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:25,926
I've been leaving messages.
193
00:08:25,993 --> 00:08:28,295
Well, I thought
I would surprise you.
194
00:08:28,329 --> 00:08:29,663
So...surprise.
195
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:31,965
- I'm surprised.
- Surprise.
196
00:08:31,999 --> 00:08:35,902
Hey.
Oh, look at you.
197
00:08:35,937 --> 00:08:38,738
- Okay, just say it.
- What?
198
00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:40,373
Come on, just go ahead
and say it,
199
00:08:40,408 --> 00:08:42,876
- and then we can move on.
- Okay, you look like a slut.
200
00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:44,277
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you, mom.
201
00:08:44,312 --> 00:08:45,912
Mission accomplished.
202
00:08:45,947 --> 00:08:47,914
Oh, who's your, uh, friend?
203
00:08:47,949 --> 00:08:51,318
- Hi, Mrs. Faith's mom.
- Oh!
204
00:08:51,352 --> 00:08:53,753
- Nice to meet you.
- This is Hank Moody, Mom.
205
00:08:53,821 --> 00:08:56,122
Hank the hugger.
206
00:08:56,157 --> 00:08:57,557
That's what we call him.
207
00:08:57,592 --> 00:08:59,526
- Is he your boyfriend?
- Ish.
208
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,428
"Frenemy," really.
209
00:09:01,462 --> 00:09:05,131
Where's all the tattoos
and the long, filthy hair?
210
00:09:05,166 --> 00:09:07,901
Oh, I-I-I left those
in the car.
211
00:09:07,935 --> 00:09:10,003
I was trying to make
a good impression.
212
00:09:10,037 --> 00:09:12,439
Oh, good. You can help me
with the groceries.
213
00:09:16,711 --> 00:09:19,079
Jack, where are you?
214
00:09:19,113 --> 00:09:22,482
I've got a surprise.
215
00:09:22,516 --> 00:09:24,417
Oh.
216
00:09:24,452 --> 00:09:27,287
You didn't tell me you grew up
in a religious supply store.
217
00:09:27,321 --> 00:09:29,923
Oh, well, that's why
I'm such a slut.
218
00:09:29,957 --> 00:09:31,658
- Yeah.
- Jack, guess what.
219
00:09:31,692 --> 00:09:34,494
Faith's here.
220
00:09:34,528 --> 00:09:39,466
He's watching TV.
What else would he be doing?
221
00:09:41,402 --> 00:09:43,970
Jesus Christ!
What are you doing?
222
00:09:44,005 --> 00:09:46,573
- What?
- You're watching nasty movies?
223
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:49,075
Oh, the hell I am. I was just
switching through the channels,
224
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,677
and this one caught my eye.
225
00:09:50,711 --> 00:09:52,512
Of course it did,
because it's naked women.
226
00:09:52,546 --> 00:09:54,481
I'm surprised you're not
touching yourself.
227
00:09:54,515 --> 00:09:55,949
Well, who else is going to?
228
00:09:55,983 --> 00:09:57,984
Will you watch your mouth?
Faith is here.
229
00:09:58,019 --> 00:10:00,887
What?
Why didn't you tell me?
230
00:10:00,921 --> 00:10:03,757
Turn that off
before she gets in here!
231
00:10:03,791 --> 00:10:05,492
Faith.
232
00:10:05,526 --> 00:10:07,127
Dad.
233
00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:09,863
Hi. Ahh.
234
00:10:09,897 --> 00:10:12,332
Who's this clown?
235
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:14,501
Hank Moody, sir.
Nice to meet you.
236
00:10:14,535 --> 00:10:16,036
Where's the tattoo
and long hair?
237
00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:18,138
It would appear
you have a type, young lady.
238
00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:19,673
- Well...
- You staying for dinner?
239
00:10:19,707 --> 00:10:21,908
Why not?
240
00:10:21,942 --> 00:10:23,543
Hey, do me a favor.
241
00:10:23,577 --> 00:10:25,311
Will you run to the liquor store
and get me some booze?
242
00:10:25,346 --> 00:10:27,013
Your mother refuses
to buy it for me.
243
00:10:27,048 --> 00:10:28,715
She--she thinks
I drink too much.
244
00:10:28,749 --> 00:10:30,183
She's probably right, Dad.
245
00:10:30,217 --> 00:10:31,518
Well, wouldn't you?
246
00:10:31,552 --> 00:10:33,520
Hey, you like to drink?
247
00:10:33,554 --> 00:10:34,854
Does the Pope shit
in the woods?
248
00:10:34,889 --> 00:10:36,556
You better watch it, pal.
249
00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:38,558
That woman will burn you
at the stake
250
00:10:38,592 --> 00:10:39,659
for talking like that.
251
00:10:51,472 --> 00:10:54,441
What was that for?
No, no, don't tell me.
252
00:10:54,475 --> 00:10:57,177
Just--just do it again.
253
00:10:57,211 --> 00:11:00,647
Okay, now, what was that for?
254
00:11:00,681 --> 00:11:03,016
For encouraging me to come.
255
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:04,851
Oh, I always encourage women
to come.
256
00:11:04,885 --> 00:11:07,754
It--it does not always happen,
but I like to think
257
00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:09,723
that I'm at least encouraging.
258
00:11:09,757 --> 00:11:13,693
- Classy.
- Is that...?
259
00:11:13,761 --> 00:11:18,498
Faith?
Is that you?
260
00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:20,700
Oh, my God, it is you.
261
00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:23,269
Holy shit.
You look fucking amazing!
262
00:11:23,304 --> 00:11:25,805
- Thanks. You too.
- Shannon.
263
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,140
Shannon Mitchell.
264
00:11:27,174 --> 00:11:29,876
No, of course.
Shannon--hi. Hi.
265
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:31,611
I look like a fucking fat pig.
266
00:11:31,645 --> 00:11:33,113
That's probably why
you don't even recognize me.
267
00:11:33,147 --> 00:11:35,615
Oh, stop, stop.
This is amazing.
268
00:11:35,649 --> 00:11:37,617
You're first?
Pbbbt. I wish, dude.
269
00:11:37,651 --> 00:11:39,419
My third.
Wow.
270
00:11:39,453 --> 00:11:40,987
Who's that guy?
Is that your husband?
271
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,222
- No. No, no, no.
- God, no.
272
00:11:42,256 --> 00:11:44,991
Fiance.
Charles Wolfgang Runkle.
273
00:11:45,025 --> 00:11:46,993
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
274
00:11:47,027 --> 00:11:49,295
Congrats.
275
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:50,930
- Thank you.
- This is so weird.
276
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:53,166
I never thought
you'd have a fiance.
277
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,335
I heard you were, like,
out there slutting around,
278
00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:56,803
like, fucking a bunch
of rock dudes.
279
00:11:56,837 --> 00:11:59,439
Somebody said they saw you
in a music video,
280
00:11:59,473 --> 00:12:01,441
or, like, on a sex tape
or something.
281
00:12:01,475 --> 00:12:03,143
Well, what's
the difference, really?
282
00:12:03,177 --> 00:12:05,245
Don't believe everything
you hear.
283
00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:06,479
This girl right here--
284
00:12:06,514 --> 00:12:08,548
she used to be quiet
as a mouse.
285
00:12:08,616 --> 00:12:10,750
Always had her face buried
in some book.
286
00:12:10,785 --> 00:12:12,886
And then one day she exploded.
287
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,522
She got super hot
and fucked everyone.
288
00:12:15,556 --> 00:12:17,624
- Oh, good for you, honey.
- Okay. All right, all right.
289
00:12:17,658 --> 00:12:19,425
That's not entirely true.
290
00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:21,828
She fucked my husband, even.
291
00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:24,631
- Really? Did I?
- Yeah. Larry Walters.
292
00:12:24,665 --> 00:12:26,633
Remember, you fucked
Larry Walters?
293
00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:29,435
- Larry Walters.
- I--vaguely, yeah.
294
00:12:29,470 --> 00:12:31,838
He played guitar for Mysstery,
two "S"s.
295
00:12:31,872 --> 00:12:33,640
Well, he sure remembers you.
Guitar player.
296
00:12:33,674 --> 00:12:36,643
Larry.
Dude, get your ass over here.
297
00:12:36,677 --> 00:12:38,778
It's Faith
from American Martyrs.
298
00:12:38,813 --> 00:12:41,347
Oh, Faith.
Holy shit!
299
00:12:41,382 --> 00:12:44,184
Larry...looking good. Hey.
300
00:12:44,218 --> 00:12:45,518
- This is so awesome.
- Hey.
301
00:12:45,553 --> 00:12:46,953
So fucking abso--
it just is.
302
00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:48,288
Sir, don't forget your change.
303
00:12:48,322 --> 00:12:49,956
How's your mom and dad, Faith?
304
00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:51,457
I bet they're
so happy to see you,
305
00:12:51,492 --> 00:12:53,493
'cause you never
come home, ever.
306
00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:55,295
I see your mom
in target sometimes,
307
00:12:55,329 --> 00:12:57,330
and she tries to tell everyone
that you ran off
308
00:12:57,364 --> 00:13:00,166
and joined the Peace Corps,
which is funny,
309
00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:01,801
'cause we all know that you,
like, just hopped
310
00:13:01,836 --> 00:13:04,504
on a rock-and-roll tour bus
and never looked back.
311
00:13:04,538 --> 00:13:06,539
I guess maybe she's still
kind of embarrassed
312
00:13:06,574 --> 00:13:08,208
about all that stuff that--
yeah, well, you know...
313
00:13:08,242 --> 00:13:09,676
- What--what happened?
- It's--it's not--
314
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:11,244
it's another story
for another day.
315
00:13:11,278 --> 00:13:12,312
Oh, well, then...
316
00:13:12,346 --> 00:13:13,680
we should get together...
317
00:13:13,714 --> 00:13:15,248
grab a drink.
318
00:13:15,282 --> 00:13:17,684
- Yeah, we totally should.
- We totally should.
319
00:13:17,718 --> 00:13:19,519
You probably shouldn't
be drinking in your condition.
320
00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:22,255
Pbbbt. Come on,
spritzers don't hurt--
321
00:13:22,289 --> 00:13:24,324
little puff of weed
every now and then.
322
00:13:24,358 --> 00:13:26,326
They try to tell you
it hurts the baby.
323
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,527
It don't.
324
00:13:27,561 --> 00:13:29,696
I think Cletus the Fetus
in there
325
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:31,097
might disagree with you.
326
00:13:31,131 --> 00:13:34,167
He's fine.
He's seen a lot.
327
00:13:34,201 --> 00:13:36,369
- Ow. Ow! Oh.
- What? What?
328
00:13:36,403 --> 00:13:37,770
Ooh. Look at that.
329
00:13:37,805 --> 00:13:40,273
Oh, look at that, honey.
I should probably--
330
00:13:40,307 --> 00:13:41,741
- we should take this together.
- Oh, we should.
331
00:13:41,775 --> 00:13:42,856
We should probably get this.
332
00:13:42,877 --> 00:13:44,410
Your phone's not ringing.
333
00:13:44,445 --> 00:13:46,212
I have it on silent.
You didn't hear that?
334
00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:47,808
Yeah, but there's nothing
on the screen.
335
00:13:47,815 --> 00:13:49,249
- It's on vibrate.
- Yeah, but I can tell
336
00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:51,017
you're shaking your phone
right now.
337
00:13:51,051 --> 00:13:53,219
Well, guess what.
I have bell's palsy.
338
00:13:53,254 --> 00:13:54,854
- Sorry.
- Oh, it's--it's fine.
339
00:13:54,922 --> 00:13:56,222
Great seeing you.
Bye, Larry.
340
00:13:56,257 --> 00:13:57,724
Yeah, you too.
See you soon, hopefully.
341
00:13:57,758 --> 00:14:00,393
Stop staring, you fat fuck.
342
00:14:00,427 --> 00:14:01,761
I totally fucked her.
343
00:14:01,795 --> 00:14:04,264
Mom, thank you.
This looks amazing.
344
00:14:04,298 --> 00:14:06,599
Oh, who wants to say grace?
345
00:14:06,634 --> 00:14:08,434
Oh, uh, hey, why don't
we just take a break
346
00:14:08,469 --> 00:14:10,970
from mumbling over our food
before we eat?
347
00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:12,305
What do you think, guys?
348
00:14:12,339 --> 00:14:14,073
What is this?
You've got an audience?
349
00:14:14,108 --> 00:14:15,541
What, you're showing off?
350
00:14:15,576 --> 00:14:17,810
You know something?
I grew up in a house
351
00:14:17,845 --> 00:14:19,712
where we closed our eyes
and mumbled almost every meal.
352
00:14:19,747 --> 00:14:21,648
I'm--I'm--
I'm good with it.
353
00:14:21,682 --> 00:14:23,149
Come on, Dad.
354
00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:25,418
Bless us, oh, Lord,
for these, thy gifts,
355
00:14:25,452 --> 00:14:27,620
for which we are about
to receive
356
00:14:27,655 --> 00:14:29,956
from thy bounty,
through Christ, our Lord.
357
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:31,090
- Amen.
- Amen.
358
00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:32,258
- Pass the--
- And...and...
359
00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:36,296
Dear Lord, thank you so much
360
00:14:36,363 --> 00:14:40,233
for bringing our daughter Faith
home to us
361
00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:42,268
and watching over her
while she's been out whoring
362
00:14:42,303 --> 00:14:44,437
with the devil's children
363
00:14:44,471 --> 00:14:47,173
and protecting her
and keeping her from harm
364
00:14:47,207 --> 00:14:51,344
and keeping her from
sexually transmitted diseases.
365
00:14:51,378 --> 00:14:52,818
- Ooh.
- Through Jesus' name we pray.
366
00:14:52,846 --> 00:14:54,480
- Amen.
- Amen.
367
00:14:54,515 --> 00:14:56,983
So...that happened.
368
00:14:57,017 --> 00:14:58,685
Yeah.
369
00:14:58,719 --> 00:15:00,253
So how did you two meet?
370
00:15:00,287 --> 00:15:01,988
Oh, it's a really
funny story, actually.
371
00:15:02,022 --> 00:15:04,924
It's actually the cutest
of meets.
372
00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:08,828
I wasn't feeling very well
about myself at the time,
373
00:15:08,862 --> 00:15:10,997
and I ended up at, um...
374
00:15:11,031 --> 00:15:13,166
What, a church?
375
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,667
It's a church-like place.
376
00:15:14,702 --> 00:15:16,636
I mean, they talked a lot
about God there.
377
00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:19,105
- They did.
- Anyway, there she was.
378
00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:20,340
And, uh...
379
00:15:20,374 --> 00:15:22,008
I was feeling
pretty lousy myself.
380
00:15:22,042 --> 00:15:24,477
- Yeah.
- Oh, Faith, I'm so glad
381
00:15:24,511 --> 00:15:26,946
you're still talking to him.
Yeah, me too.
382
00:15:26,981 --> 00:15:28,948
- Okay...
- So this one over here
383
00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:31,117
- was pretty annoying.
- Oh, I was annoying?
384
00:15:31,151 --> 00:15:33,119
Really, he was--
385
00:15:33,153 --> 00:15:34,821
He went out of his way, really.
386
00:15:34,855 --> 00:15:37,156
We got to talking, and
we actually--we actually bonded
387
00:15:37,191 --> 00:15:38,825
over a page
of the Old Testament.
388
00:15:38,859 --> 00:15:40,960
How wonderful.
389
00:15:41,028 --> 00:15:44,030
Faith certainly knows her Bible
backwards and forwards.
390
00:15:44,032 --> 00:15:46,833
- She inhales her Bible.
- All true.
391
00:15:46,867 --> 00:15:49,028
She made me feel a lot better
about myself at the time,
392
00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:51,004
and we've been hanging out
ever since.
393
00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:53,373
Well, that is
a very nice story.
394
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:56,342
Does this mean you're turning
over a new leaf, sweetheart?
395
00:15:56,377 --> 00:15:58,745
What what does that mean?
396
00:15:58,779 --> 00:16:01,214
Well, it sounds like you're
no longer degrading yourself
397
00:16:01,248 --> 00:16:03,716
by hanging out
with those perverted musicians
398
00:16:03,751 --> 00:16:05,385
- all the time.
- Okay...
399
00:16:05,419 --> 00:16:06,986
Well, you know, some
of those perverted musicians
400
00:16:07,054 --> 00:16:08,688
have written songs about her.
401
00:16:08,722 --> 00:16:10,757
Well, sure, after she sucked
their filthy penises.
402
00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:13,159
- All right--
- Come on, oh...
403
00:16:13,193 --> 00:16:15,073
Mom, why do you just assume
that they're filthy?
404
00:16:15,095 --> 00:16:17,096
And what's so bad about
a blow job between friends?
405
00:16:17,131 --> 00:16:18,898
You know, men love it
when you suck their dicks.
406
00:16:18,932 --> 00:16:22,035
It makes them so happy, mom.
Amen!
407
00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:23,870
Amen, huh?
408
00:16:23,904 --> 00:16:26,205
What?
Watch yourself.
409
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,775
Hey, I agree with
Mrs. Faith's mom on this one.
410
00:16:28,809 --> 00:16:30,743
I-I find penises
unilaterally disgusting.
411
00:16:30,778 --> 00:16:33,379
Can we, uh, talk about
something other than penises--
412
00:16:33,414 --> 00:16:36,449
I mean, filthy or otherwise?
You like sports?
413
00:16:36,483 --> 00:16:39,519
Sadly, I am not--I know you're
gonna deduct points for that.
414
00:16:39,553 --> 00:16:43,022
My apologies. But I'm
a huge fan of your daughter.
415
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:44,590
I think she's amazing.
416
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,592
And I think you two
should be very proud.
417
00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:47,627
I'll drink to that.
418
00:16:47,661 --> 00:16:49,395
We were very, very proud
419
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:52,231
when she dedicated her life
to him and--
420
00:16:52,266 --> 00:16:54,534
- Who?
- Him.
421
00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:58,504
Oh, him. That guy.
Of course. Of course.
422
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:01,307
- What-what did that entail?
- Can we just not?
423
00:17:01,341 --> 00:17:04,977
But then she abandoned him
424
00:17:05,012 --> 00:17:06,913
and kind of humiliated
our family.
425
00:17:06,947 --> 00:17:09,782
I don't really know how many
times I can say I'm sorry, Mom.
426
00:17:09,817 --> 00:17:11,818
- Green beans?
- Please.
427
00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:13,152
He forgives
all of his children.
428
00:17:13,187 --> 00:17:14,454
Good. Good to know.
429
00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:16,823
Unfortunately, I have not.
430
00:17:16,857 --> 00:17:18,291
There it is.
Shocker.
431
00:17:18,325 --> 00:17:20,893
- Roll?
- No.
432
00:17:20,928 --> 00:17:22,161
In spite of your limitations
433
00:17:22,196 --> 00:17:23,663
and you're mean-spirited
bullshit,
434
00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:25,465
I love you--I forgive you.
You forgive me?
435
00:17:25,499 --> 00:17:26,966
God damn it!
436
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,434
She didn't want to become
a fucking nun!
437
00:17:28,469 --> 00:17:30,069
I mean, what's wrong with that?
438
00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:31,604
How can you blame her?
439
00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:33,339
What kind of life is that
for someone?
440
00:17:33,373 --> 00:17:36,909
Excuse me.
441
00:17:36,944 --> 00:17:40,179
Mary...
442
00:17:40,214 --> 00:17:41,514
- Thanks, Dad.
- Jesus.
443
00:17:41,548 --> 00:17:43,983
"Thanks, dad"?
Thanks for what?
444
00:17:44,017 --> 00:17:46,953
Why do you got to get her
all worked up over this?
445
00:17:46,987 --> 00:17:48,855
You know, you know
this is gonna happen.
446
00:17:48,889 --> 00:17:50,790
You don't come and visit,
and when you do,
447
00:17:50,824 --> 00:17:53,993
we--we always end up talking
about the same thing.
448
00:17:54,027 --> 00:17:55,761
Why can't we just have dinner
449
00:17:55,796 --> 00:17:58,965
and talk about--I don't know--
the fucking weather?
450
00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:10,977
You were a nun?
451
00:18:11,011 --> 00:18:12,678
Kind of gross, huh?
452
00:18:12,713 --> 00:18:14,380
Well, it would be
if you were one of those
453
00:18:14,414 --> 00:18:16,482
wrinkly old war horses,
but you're not.
454
00:18:16,517 --> 00:18:18,484
So it's kind of hot.
455
00:18:18,519 --> 00:18:21,020
Well, I know it was
a little extreme,
456
00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:25,525
but I have been looking
for something...
457
00:18:25,592 --> 00:18:27,994
bigger than myself
my whole life.
458
00:18:28,028 --> 00:18:31,030
And for a while,
it was really nice.
459
00:18:31,064 --> 00:18:34,100
But I just couldn't live
that way.
460
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:35,668
Oh, I understand.
461
00:18:35,702 --> 00:18:40,072
The nunnery's loss
is humanity's gain.
462
00:18:40,107 --> 00:18:43,242
The sisters caught me
getting off once,
463
00:18:43,277 --> 00:18:46,679
which was hugely,
hugely embarrassing.
464
00:18:46,713 --> 00:18:48,114
- Uh-huh.
- But...
465
00:18:48,148 --> 00:18:49,715
They told you not to
make a habit of it.
466
00:18:51,451 --> 00:18:56,389
The funny thing is,
I'm still looking, searching.
467
00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:58,424
I still believe.
468
00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:00,393
It's all connected somehow,
469
00:19:00,427 --> 00:19:02,595
even sex and God
and rock and roll.
470
00:19:02,629 --> 00:19:05,932
Well, believe it or not,
I have this recurring dream
471
00:19:05,966 --> 00:19:07,233
about church and a nun.
472
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:08,701
- Really?
- Yeah.
473
00:19:08,735 --> 00:19:10,770
And what typically happens
in such a dream?
474
00:19:10,804 --> 00:19:12,872
Typically, I come in
filled with angst.
475
00:19:12,906 --> 00:19:14,106
Mm-hmm.
476
00:19:14,141 --> 00:19:15,441
And I want to have a conversation
477
00:19:15,475 --> 00:19:17,577
with the guy
up on the wall there.
478
00:19:17,611 --> 00:19:21,247
And then this nun shows up.
She's very pleasant...
479
00:19:21,281 --> 00:19:23,616
- very agreeable.
- And how does it end?
480
00:19:23,650 --> 00:19:25,718
In a very blasphemous manner.
481
00:19:25,752 --> 00:19:27,253
Hmm.
482
00:19:45,606 --> 00:19:48,874
Uh...eyes up here, you.
483
00:19:50,477 --> 00:19:54,447
Who says dreams
don't come true?
484
00:19:57,317 --> 00:20:00,419
Faith?
Hey, do me a favor.
485
00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:02,722
Go apologize
to your mother, will you?
486
00:20:02,756 --> 00:20:04,957
She's been crying and praying
ever since you left.
487
00:20:04,992 --> 00:20:07,260
- Come on.
- Please?
488
00:20:07,294 --> 00:20:08,734
I know she's
out of her fucking mind,
489
00:20:08,762 --> 00:20:10,096
but she's still your mother.
490
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:14,400
All right.
All right.
491
00:20:14,434 --> 00:20:17,803
Hey, Hank, grab a seat.
492
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,042
- Want a beer?
- Don't mind if I do.
493
00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:24,677
Here you go.
494
00:20:24,711 --> 00:20:26,612
You got kids?
495
00:20:26,647 --> 00:20:28,481
Yeah, one daughter,
496
00:20:28,515 --> 00:20:31,183
from a previous
romantic entanglement.
497
00:20:31,218 --> 00:20:33,152
Oh, yeah, daughters are
the fucking worst.
498
00:20:33,186 --> 00:20:35,121
Tell me about it.
499
00:20:35,155 --> 00:20:37,423
I got two.
500
00:20:37,457 --> 00:20:39,659
One's gonna end up
just like her mother,
501
00:20:39,693 --> 00:20:41,193
and the other one
looking for God
502
00:20:41,228 --> 00:20:42,628
in the back of a tour bus.
503
00:20:42,663 --> 00:20:44,330
Is that really how you feel
about her?
504
00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:46,465
'Cause if you do,
then I feel sorry for you.
505
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,136
Well, then feel sorry for me.
506
00:20:50,170 --> 00:20:51,971
I don't really know her
anymore.
507
00:20:52,005 --> 00:20:53,439
You should get to know her.
508
00:20:53,473 --> 00:20:54,874
She's pretty great.
509
00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:56,208
I think you'd be surprised.
510
00:20:56,243 --> 00:21:00,146
You know,
I never told her this,
511
00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:03,049
but I was so happy when she got
into all that Jesus stuff.
512
00:21:03,083 --> 00:21:04,817
You know, as a father, you--
513
00:21:04,851 --> 00:21:06,852
you know, you worry about
all those dirtbags out there.
514
00:21:06,887 --> 00:21:09,155
And I just thought,
"Well, she'll be safe."
515
00:21:09,189 --> 00:21:12,558
Yeah, that's--that's generally
how I feel about my daughter.
516
00:21:12,592 --> 00:21:15,494
In fact, I-I secretly hope
that she's a lesbian.
517
00:21:15,562 --> 00:21:17,163
It's not very secret.
518
00:21:17,197 --> 00:21:19,498
I say it every chance
I get, actually.
519
00:21:19,566 --> 00:21:21,567
You're a weird fucking guy,
you know that?
520
00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:24,170
Pretty much, yeah.
521
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,142
If I had it to do
all over again,
522
00:21:30,177 --> 00:21:32,545
I'd encourage
her every fucking whim.
523
00:21:32,579 --> 00:21:35,047
I'd say yes instead of no.
524
00:21:35,082 --> 00:21:37,149
I'd laugh instead of yell.
525
00:21:37,184 --> 00:21:38,918
This house was
too fucking strict.
526
00:21:38,952 --> 00:21:41,187
She must have felt like
a rat in a cage.
527
00:21:41,221 --> 00:21:45,157
Between me and her mother,
she couldn't do anything right.
528
00:21:45,192 --> 00:21:48,327
People do strange things when
they're judged all the time,
529
00:21:48,362 --> 00:21:51,197
instead of just being loved.
530
00:21:51,231 --> 00:21:54,200
Cheers.
531
00:22:03,577 --> 00:22:05,178
I'm still shocked
you haven't turned this
532
00:22:05,212 --> 00:22:06,912
into a sewing room
or something.
533
00:22:06,947 --> 00:22:10,549
Too many memories of
the little girl I used to know.
534
00:22:10,617 --> 00:22:12,918
It's all I have left.
535
00:22:12,953 --> 00:22:14,754
Don't be so dramatic, please.
536
00:22:14,788 --> 00:22:19,225
Look, I'm sorry...
537
00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:22,428
I'm sorry too.
538
00:22:22,462 --> 00:22:24,063
There were a lot
of nasty things
539
00:22:24,097 --> 00:22:26,065
that just came flying
out of my mouth.
540
00:22:26,099 --> 00:22:27,733
I-I don't know why
I always do that.
541
00:22:27,768 --> 00:22:30,436
Old habits, I guess.
542
00:22:30,470 --> 00:22:32,271
We would just like
to see you more often.
543
00:22:32,305 --> 00:22:35,241
Oh, can you just be happy
that I'm here right now?
544
00:22:35,275 --> 00:22:36,776
I know. I know.
545
00:22:36,810 --> 00:22:38,411
It's just that we may not be
around forever,
546
00:22:38,445 --> 00:22:39,612
and your father
really misses you.
547
00:22:39,646 --> 00:22:41,113
Is he okay?
548
00:22:41,148 --> 00:22:42,882
Well, he's a raging alcoholic
549
00:22:42,916 --> 00:22:44,950
on the highway to hell,
but other than that,
550
00:22:44,985 --> 00:22:46,519
yeah, he's fine.
551
00:22:46,553 --> 00:22:50,956
And you? Are you trying
to tell me something?
552
00:22:50,991 --> 00:22:54,593
- Oh, what a beautiful cross.
- Thanks.
553
00:22:54,661 --> 00:22:56,996
It was a present
from a really special guy.
554
00:22:57,030 --> 00:23:00,132
Of course.
There's always a guy.
555
00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:02,168
- Mmm.
- I'm sorry to interrupt,
556
00:23:02,202 --> 00:23:06,439
but your father started watching
soft-core pornography again.
557
00:23:06,473 --> 00:23:07,840
I got uncomfortable.
558
00:23:07,874 --> 00:23:10,142
What a poor, lost soul.
Okay.
559
00:23:10,177 --> 00:23:12,945
Well, I guess
you two are--whoa--tired
560
00:23:12,979 --> 00:23:15,080
and maybe a little drunk.
561
00:23:15,115 --> 00:23:17,850
I can smell it on both of you.
It's kind of hideous.
562
00:23:17,884 --> 00:23:19,452
Good night, honey.
Good night.
563
00:23:19,486 --> 00:23:21,787
- Okay.
- Good night.
564
00:23:21,822 --> 00:23:24,290
Oh, no. You are going
to the couch.
565
00:23:24,324 --> 00:23:25,891
- Oh, come on.
- No.
566
00:23:25,926 --> 00:23:28,294
Do I see a ring on that finger?
Are you married?
567
00:23:28,328 --> 00:23:31,697
Otherwise, you're not gonna
sleep together in that bed,
568
00:23:31,731 --> 00:23:33,365
not under this roof.
569
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,101
No good can come of that.
570
00:23:43,210 --> 00:23:44,743
♪ Reach out and touch faith
571
00:23:59,259 --> 00:24:01,827
Greetings
and salutations, sire.
572
00:24:01,862 --> 00:24:04,864
I guess it's been
kind of a while, huh?
573
00:24:04,898 --> 00:24:06,465
But you're looking well...
574
00:24:06,533 --> 00:24:09,902
ripped as ever, I see.
575
00:24:09,936 --> 00:24:12,338
Sorry.
576
00:24:12,372 --> 00:24:15,074
Whatever for, child?
577
00:24:15,108 --> 00:24:18,644
Well, I guess I kind of
went out for a pack of smokes
578
00:24:18,678 --> 00:24:19,845
and never came back.
579
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,481
I left you hanging up there.
580
00:24:22,549 --> 00:24:24,250
What can I do for you, Faith?
581
00:24:24,284 --> 00:24:26,552
I miss you.
582
00:24:26,586 --> 00:24:29,088
I need you,
especially right now.
583
00:24:29,122 --> 00:24:30,656
I'm having what you might call
584
00:24:30,690 --> 00:24:32,925
a crisis of faith, if you will.
585
00:24:32,959 --> 00:24:34,627
Pray with me.
586
00:24:34,661 --> 00:24:37,863
♪ Reach out and touch faith
587
00:24:37,898 --> 00:24:41,567
Uh...forgive me, father,
for I have sinned.
588
00:24:43,603 --> 00:24:46,338
Really?
You think?
589
00:24:50,810 --> 00:24:55,247
♪ Feeling's unknown,
and you're all alone ♪
590
00:24:55,282 --> 00:24:57,116
Whoa, Jesus, relax.
591
00:24:57,150 --> 00:24:59,051
There's no need to get your
loincloth in a bunch up there.
592
00:24:59,085 --> 00:25:01,487
Um...
593
00:25:05,225 --> 00:25:06,926
Ta-da.
594
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:11,397
♪ I will deliver,
you know I'm a forgiver ♪
595
00:25:11,431 --> 00:25:14,733
I think you're forgetting
something, Faith.
596
00:25:14,768 --> 00:25:16,902
♪ Reach out and touch faith
597
00:25:16,937 --> 00:25:20,773
♪ your own personal Jesus
598
00:25:20,807 --> 00:25:22,808
Jesus loves you.
599
00:25:26,079 --> 00:25:27,713
♪ Reach out and touch faith
600
00:25:31,651 --> 00:25:34,520
Ugh.
601
00:26:00,847 --> 00:26:06,185
♪ So she said, "Man, I got
to get out of this town ♪
602
00:26:06,219 --> 00:26:09,622
♪ "Now I got to get back
on that train ♪
603
00:26:09,656 --> 00:26:12,791
♪ "Man, I got to
get out of this town ♪
604
00:26:12,826 --> 00:26:15,327
♪ "I'm out of my pain
605
00:26:15,362 --> 00:26:18,964
♪ so I'm going back to L.A."
606
00:26:22,836 --> 00:26:25,971
♪ back to L.A.
607
00:26:29,909 --> 00:26:31,276
♪ back to L.A.
608
00:26:31,311 --> 00:26:32,678
This is a real bummer.
609
00:26:32,712 --> 00:26:34,513
I thought you were waking me up
to fuck me.
610
00:26:34,547 --> 00:26:36,315
Oh, trust me,
I thought about it.
611
00:26:36,349 --> 00:26:38,717
But then the urge to flee
won out.
612
00:26:38,752 --> 00:26:41,153
You okay?
613
00:26:41,187 --> 00:26:43,822
"Drive," she said.
614
00:26:43,857 --> 00:26:52,564
♪ I'm going back to L.A.
615
00:26:52,599 --> 00:26:57,002
♪ I'm going back to L.A.
616
00:27:08,548 --> 00:27:10,482
- Hey.
- Hello.
617
00:27:10,517 --> 00:27:14,053
I think we should
let her go...abroad.
618
00:27:14,087 --> 00:27:15,688
I was already thinking that.
619
00:27:15,722 --> 00:27:17,723
Of course you were...
620
00:27:17,757 --> 00:27:19,825
because you're
an exceptional parent,
621
00:27:19,859 --> 00:27:22,561
which is not something
that I can put on my resume.
622
00:27:22,595 --> 00:27:24,163
I'm too busy
spouting off at the mouth
623
00:27:24,197 --> 00:27:25,731
without thinking.
624
00:27:25,765 --> 00:27:28,500
Our daughter wants to go
on a literary pilgrimage.
625
00:27:28,535 --> 00:27:30,436
Who the fuck does that
in this day and age, right?
626
00:27:30,470 --> 00:27:32,571
And what kind of malignant
fucking asshole
627
00:27:32,605 --> 00:27:34,740
wouldn't indulge
that sort of behavior...
628
00:27:34,774 --> 00:27:36,408
however asinine?
629
00:27:36,443 --> 00:27:38,010
My thoughts exactly.
630
00:27:38,044 --> 00:27:42,114
You mean we're in agreement
on something?
631
00:27:42,148 --> 00:27:44,683
It looks like it.
632
00:27:46,419 --> 00:27:48,287
That's a minor
fucking miracle, isn't it?
633
00:27:48,321 --> 00:27:52,758
Mm-hmm. You want to go in
and tell her yourself?
634
00:27:52,792 --> 00:27:57,529
You come with me.
We'll tell her together.
635
00:28:00,591 --> 00:28:05,591
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com