1
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:11,642
Maxwell, I cannot tell you how excited I am
2
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:15,714
about our little weekend getaway to Boston.
3
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:20,251
It's a business trip, C.C.
4
00:00:20,319 --> 00:00:22,353
Of course I know that.
5
00:00:22,421 --> 00:00:24,789
Work, work, work. In fact,
right now I'm off to get a wax.
6
00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:25,890
I mean,
7
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,393
fax.
8
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:33,231
Don't worry, sir. You'll
be right near Salem.
9
00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:35,867
They know how to take
care of her kind there.
10
00:00:39,538 --> 00:00:43,308
Niles, you don't think C.C.
wants to go to Boston to,
11
00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:44,442
you know...
12
00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:46,477
Shout, "The British are coming?"
13
00:00:49,114 --> 00:00:50,916
Oh, no, sir.
14
00:00:52,384 --> 00:00:54,352
No. As a matter of fact,
just before you came in,
15
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:55,687
she was saying what a shame it is
16
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,656
the children can't go with you.
17
00:00:57,723 --> 00:00:59,490
- Oh, really?
- Hmm.
18
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,260
Well, I suppose it would
be educational for them.
19
00:01:02,327 --> 00:01:05,529
Oh, but the hotel only has two rooms.
20
00:01:05,597 --> 00:01:07,966
Do you think she would
mind sharing with the girls?
21
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,267
Mind?
22
00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:10,869
How many times have we heard her say,
23
00:01:10,936 --> 00:01:13,305
"I don't care who I sleep with"?
24
00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:18,876
I'm never gonna meet anybody.
25
00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:22,847
I'm never gonna fulfill my dream
of buying double burial plots.
26
00:01:27,486 --> 00:01:29,553
- That's your dream, Val?
- Mmm-hmm.
27
00:01:29,621 --> 00:01:30,989
That's my dream, too.
28
00:01:31,056 --> 00:01:32,123
(GASPS)
29
00:01:33,325 --> 00:01:35,860
No wonder we're best friends.
30
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,930
Fran? Yeah?
31
00:01:39,998 --> 00:01:42,199
You think we're being too particular?
32
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:43,934
I mean, maybe...
33
00:01:44,002 --> 00:01:46,337
maybe we should lower our standards.
34
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,873
Lower our standards?
35
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:51,442
Val, we're already down to mammal.
36
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:57,382
All I want is a nice, cute
guy with a couple of bucks.
37
00:02:03,255 --> 00:02:04,522
What?
38
00:02:05,924 --> 00:02:08,460
Have you ever seen Harold and Maude?
39
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,067
Oh, forget it.
40
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:18,269
Once you've seen a guy
in his Batman pajamas,
41
00:02:18,337 --> 00:02:20,604
there's just no mystery left.
42
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,611
* She was working in a
bridal shop in Flushing, Queens
43
00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:29,047
* 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
44
00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:30,882
* in one of those crushing scenes
45
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,616
* What was she to
do? Where was she to go?
46
00:02:32,684 --> 00:02:35,987
* She was out on her fanny
47
00:02:36,054 --> 00:02:38,356
* So over the bridge from
Flushing to the Sheffield's door
48
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:40,958
* She was there to sell
makeup, but the father saw more
49
00:02:41,026 --> 00:02:43,127
* She had style! She
had flair! She was there!
50
00:02:43,195 --> 00:02:46,764
* That's how she became the nanny!
51
00:02:46,832 --> 00:02:49,667
* Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
52
00:02:49,735 --> 00:02:52,137
* was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
53
00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:53,337
* Now the father finds her beguiling
54
00:02:53,405 --> 00:02:54,672
* Watch out, C.C.!
55
00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:56,107
* And the kids are actually smiling
56
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,575
* Such joie de vivre!
57
00:02:57,642 --> 00:03:02,914
* She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan
58
00:03:02,981 --> 00:03:05,149
* The flashy girl from Flushing
59
00:03:05,217 --> 00:03:07,352
* The nanny named Fran!
60
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,103
- provided by icephoenix / corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
61
00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:16,927
Oh, Fran, what are we gonna do?
62
00:03:16,995 --> 00:03:19,163
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
63
00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:22,300
We're gonna have our own singles party.
64
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,634
We'll charge 20 bucks a head.
65
00:03:23,702 --> 00:03:27,105
With all the losers we
know, we'll make a fortune.
66
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,140
You know, I've got just
the perfect place to do it,
67
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,109
the back room of Benny's Clam Bar.
68
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,911
It's so dark and depressing there.
69
00:03:33,979 --> 00:03:38,015
Val, how old do I look?
70
00:03:40,352 --> 00:03:42,287
I don't know. I can't really tell.
71
00:03:42,354 --> 00:03:43,488
Book it, Val.
72
00:03:45,757 --> 00:03:47,191
Daddy, forget it.
73
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:49,793
Do you know how hard those
concert tickets were to get?
74
00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:52,363
There's no way I'm missing Nine Inch Nails.
75
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:55,100
Nine-inch nails? Barbra's on tour again?
76
00:03:57,135 --> 00:03:58,503
No, Miss Fine.
77
00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:00,438
Margaret would prefer to go
to a concert with her friends
78
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:03,374
than spend the weekend in
Boston with her own family.
79
00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:05,343
Oh, well, who wouldn't...
80
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,412
want to go to Boston?
81
00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,582
Dad, I'm 16 years old.
82
00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:14,218
I can stay home and take care of myself.
83
00:04:14,286 --> 00:04:16,754
Niles will be here to make me stuff, right?
84
00:04:16,822 --> 00:04:18,723
Sweetie, the reason why your father
85
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,224
doesn't want you to stay home alone
86
00:04:20,292 --> 00:04:22,293
is because it makes him feel old.
87
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,295
What?
88
00:04:24,363 --> 00:04:27,531
I mean, you know, you're turning
into a responsible young woman,
89
00:04:27,599 --> 00:04:29,867
and that makes him feel
unneeded and useless.
90
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,836
That, the gray patch in his hair,
91
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:33,671
waking up stiff in the morning...
92
00:04:33,738 --> 00:04:36,107
Don't ask. I've never felt better,
93
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:39,010
and I'm certainly not
afraid of growing old.
94
00:04:39,077 --> 00:04:41,312
Margaret, the house is
yours for the weekend.
95
00:04:41,379 --> 00:04:45,249
Oh, thank you, Dad. Fran, you're a goddess.
96
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:48,686
For your information, Miss Fine,
97
00:04:48,754 --> 00:04:51,555
when I awaken in the
mornings, nothing is stiff.
98
00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,331
I rest my case.
99
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:09,040
Oh, wow! Look how many
guys RSVP'd for your party.
100
00:05:09,107 --> 00:05:11,909
- Oh, this one sounds perfect for you.
- Oh?
101
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:14,946
Oh, no, wait. He says he's
looking for a Catholic girl.
102
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,614
Great. He's Jewish.
103
00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:20,818
(DOORBELL RINGS)
104
00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:27,959
Niles, would you keep an eye on my bags?
105
00:05:28,026 --> 00:05:29,627
All right.
106
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,936
Just tell me when to stop.
107
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:43,974
Now.
108
00:05:45,277 --> 00:05:46,578
Sorry.
109
00:05:46,645 --> 00:05:47,845
So am I.
110
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,314
(GASPS)
111
00:05:51,717 --> 00:05:54,085
Can this day get any better?
112
00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:57,388
Oh, I guess it can.
113
00:05:57,455 --> 00:06:01,058
I'll be spending the entire weekend
alone with Maxwell in Boston.
114
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:03,193
(IMITATING BUZZER BUZZING) I'm sorry.
115
00:06:04,863 --> 00:06:07,731
But we have some lovely
consolation prizes for you.
116
00:06:11,903 --> 00:06:13,804
I am not sitting next
to Gracie on the plane.
117
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:15,072
She always vomits.
118
00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:17,675
All right. She can sit
next to Miss Babcock.
119
00:06:19,377 --> 00:06:24,281
Maxwell, you're bringing
the children on the trip?
120
00:06:24,349 --> 00:06:26,818
Yes, C.C. It was very sweet
of you to think of them.
121
00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:29,053
Niles told me it was all your idea.
122
00:06:37,129 --> 00:06:38,662
Don't thank me.
123
00:06:40,532 --> 00:06:44,002
Don't worry. I won't throw up
as long as I don't eat anything.
124
00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:47,371
Well, in case you get peckish,
I packed you a sandwich.
125
00:06:49,641 --> 00:06:51,209
Egg salad.
126
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,946
It'll go lovely with your blazer.
127
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,854
Now remember, I'm trusting
you to behave yourself.
128
00:07:02,921 --> 00:07:04,956
No wild parties.
129
00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:07,024
- All right, Dad. Goodbye.
- Bye.
130
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,325
I'll miss you. I love you.
131
00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:10,327
I love you too.
132
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,129
You know, this is the first...
133
00:07:14,032 --> 00:07:17,234
Oh, this is so cool.
134
00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:19,436
I get the whole house to myself.
135
00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:22,840
Do whatever I want, whenever I want.
136
00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:26,310
Oh, Fran, now I know why you stay single.
137
00:07:29,748 --> 00:07:31,782
Yeah, that's it.
138
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:33,818
(DOORBELL RINGS)
139
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,487
Okay. All right.
140
00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:38,856
Oh, Fran, I got horrible news.
141
00:07:38,924 --> 00:07:41,559
Oh, my hair guy couldn't
take you this morning?
142
00:07:41,626 --> 00:07:42,893
Yes, he did.
143
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:46,597
Isn't he fabulous?
144
00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:48,732
Fran, you are not gonna believe this.
145
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,402
Benny's Clam Bar burnt down.
146
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,571
(GASPS) How?
147
00:07:53,638 --> 00:07:55,205
A fire!
148
00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:03,181
Oh, my God. Oh, now wait a
minute. Don't panic. Don't panic.
149
00:08:03,248 --> 00:08:04,582
All we have to do is find a place
150
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,450
that's really classy and free tonight
151
00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:09,253
that'll hold 100 guys and seven women.
152
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,790
Oh, oh, oh. No, no, no, no.
153
00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:16,060
Mr. Sheffield said that we
cannot have parties here.
154
00:08:16,127 --> 00:08:19,330
We're never gonna meet anybody.
155
00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:24,768
We're just gonna die alone.
156
00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:31,776
Fran, actually Dad said that I
couldn't have any parties tonight.
157
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:35,246
* It's Raining Men
158
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:36,546
* Hallelujah
159
00:08:36,614 --> 00:08:38,883
* It's Raining Men
160
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:40,617
* Amen
161
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:43,520
Well, in my spare time
162
00:08:43,588 --> 00:08:45,055
I like to do a little hunting.
163
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:47,091
Oh, well, maybe next time you go
164
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:50,127
you could bag me a chocolate mousse.
165
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,665
Mooses aren't chocolate.
166
00:08:54,732 --> 00:08:55,866
Oh, I know.
167
00:08:55,934 --> 00:08:58,669
I was saying, you know, chocolate "mousse".
168
00:08:58,736 --> 00:09:02,006
It's a... have you met my friend Val?
169
00:09:04,242 --> 00:09:06,243
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
170
00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:10,114
Oh, I love the way you move.
171
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,882
And I love the way you look.
172
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:14,952
Those heels are so sexy.
173
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,753
Oh, thank you.
174
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,689
Mind if I try them on?
175
00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:29,333
Have you met my friend Val?
176
00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:32,937
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
177
00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:35,306
You know, you might not believe this,
178
00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:38,876
but this hair, it's all from a can.
179
00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:53,523
Really?
180
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:58,162
Gee, it looks so natural.
181
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:20,484
Have you met my friend Val?
182
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:22,519
Val.
183
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,725
I love your hair.
184
00:10:31,096 --> 00:10:34,598
And you hate to hunt.
185
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,067
What do you think of my shoes?
186
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,635
Well, they look great on you.
187
00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:38,902
Dip me.
188
00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:42,406
Don't wait up.
189
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:47,144
You know, Fran, you're pretty
sharp to throw a party like this.
190
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:50,314
Meet great people, you make a few bucks.
191
00:10:50,382 --> 00:10:53,384
Hey, a few bucks, please.
192
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:57,088
I may quit my career as a super model.
193
00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:03,494
Well, I think it's amazing
that you show a profit,
194
00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:06,897
especially after all those
business licenses you have to buy.
195
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:10,567
What business? It's a party.
196
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,205
Fran...
197
00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:16,474
Oh, Jeff.
198
00:11:16,541 --> 00:11:20,944
I don't know how to tell you
this, but I'm a police officer.
199
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,046
And you're under arrest.
200
00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:25,283
That was a pistol?
201
00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:37,761
(EXCLAIMING)
202
00:11:39,631 --> 00:11:42,966
Somebody's gonna have a
hell of a mess to clean up.
203
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,603
Damn, it's me.
204
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,841
Well, thanks for taking me home
205
00:11:50,909 --> 00:11:55,079
and for letting me play with your siren.
206
00:11:55,146 --> 00:11:58,816
My pleasure. Oh, can I have my handcuffs?
207
00:12:02,287 --> 00:12:03,654
Thank you.
208
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:08,625
Handcuffs, Miss Fine?
209
00:12:08,693 --> 00:12:11,662
He was a cop. I got arrested last night.
210
00:12:11,729 --> 00:12:13,230
Really?
211
00:12:13,298 --> 00:12:14,698
I was a pirate.
212
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,470
I had to walk the plank.
213
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:22,439
I'm serious. It was horrible.
214
00:12:22,507 --> 00:12:25,209
I spent the night in jail.
215
00:12:25,276 --> 00:12:28,245
Of course, I did meet a lovely
girl named Sparkle Plenty.
216
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:31,115
She charges 20 bucks to
come to her party, too.
217
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,250
Well, why didn't you call?
218
00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:34,418
Well, I did.
219
00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:37,688
I guess somebody was too
busy shivering his timber.
220
00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:41,858
Oh, my God.
221
00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:43,960
I spend the night over at Whitney's house,
222
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:46,163
and you guys completely trash the place?
223
00:12:46,231 --> 00:12:47,998
I miss everything.
224
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:50,901
Oh, help me to clean up
before my father gets home.
225
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:52,803
I mean, your father.
226
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:55,506
Oh, thank God he's not
coming back until tomorrow.
227
00:12:55,573 --> 00:12:58,275
Could you imagine the look on his
face if he got a load of this...
228
00:12:58,343 --> 00:13:01,045
(SCREAMING) Oh, oh, oh. We've been robbed.
229
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,513
Can you imagine what kind of an animal
230
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:03,847
would do something like this...
231
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:05,749
Save it, Miss Fine.
232
00:13:05,817 --> 00:13:08,485
Grace got sick, so we
took an earlier flight.
233
00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:11,822
Niles, could you do something
with Miss Babcock's blazer?
234
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:13,424
Certainly, sir.
235
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,465
I specifically said no parties.
236
00:13:21,532 --> 00:13:22,766
Mr. Sheffield, let me explain.
237
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:25,302
I am very disappointed in you, Margaret.
238
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:27,004
- Margaret?
- Margaret?
239
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:29,906
Oh, no, Mr. Sheffield. This was my party.
240
00:13:29,974 --> 00:13:32,176
Oh, nice try, Miss Fine.
241
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:33,778
But even the woman who put a bumper sticker
242
00:13:33,845 --> 00:13:36,279
on my limo reading "Honk if you're a hunk"
243
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:37,547
wouldn't be stupid enough
244
00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:39,249
to throw a party in my absence.
245
00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:41,919
Hey, hey, don't make a
rush to judgment here.
246
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,388
You're dealing with one dumb gal.
247
00:13:46,424 --> 00:13:48,392
Your devotion to the children
is touching, Miss Fine,
248
00:13:48,459 --> 00:13:50,227
but don't be ridiculous.
249
00:13:50,294 --> 00:13:52,362
If I thought for one moment you
were responsible for all this,
250
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,030
I'd have to fire you.
251
00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:56,400
Fire me?
252
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:59,937
Fran, stop trying to cover for me.
253
00:14:00,004 --> 00:14:02,873
Dad, I had the party when
Fran went out last night.
254
00:14:02,941 --> 00:14:04,407
She had nothing to do with this.
255
00:14:04,475 --> 00:14:06,343
- Maggie.
- Fran.
256
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:07,511
I did it.
257
00:14:07,578 --> 00:14:09,179
No, I did this.
258
00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:10,914
Oh, and I suppose you're the one
259
00:14:10,982 --> 00:14:12,316
that spilled the bottle of cream rinse
260
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,017
on the Persian rug?
261
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,386
No.
262
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,222
Oh, it must have been Niles.
263
00:14:18,289 --> 00:14:20,724
Well, I certainly hope it
was worth it, young lady.
264
00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:23,193
You're grounded indefinitely.
265
00:14:23,261 --> 00:14:25,496
Dad, the Nine Inch
Nails concert is tonight.
266
00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:27,264
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, wait.
267
00:14:27,332 --> 00:14:29,200
End of discussion, Miss Fine.
268
00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:33,570
Maggie, are you out of your mind?
269
00:14:33,638 --> 00:14:36,006
Fran, I didn't want you to get fired.
270
00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:38,442
I care more about you
than I do any concert.
271
00:14:38,509 --> 00:14:41,245
Oh, I love you.
272
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,747
And I kind of forgot it was tonight.
273
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,718
Oh, Niles, can you believe what a mensch
274
00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:50,921
that kid turned out to be?
275
00:14:52,657 --> 00:14:53,957
Hmm?
276
00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:55,559
Oh, I'm not gonna let her
277
00:14:55,626 --> 00:14:57,894
miss that concert to save my butt.
278
00:14:57,962 --> 00:14:59,496
I don't care if he does fire me.
279
00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:00,731
(CAR HORN HONKING)
280
00:15:00,798 --> 00:15:02,232
Oh, meanwhile, that bumper sticker
281
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,534
wasn't the stupidest thing I ever did.
282
00:15:10,441 --> 00:15:12,476
Miss Fine, what on earth possessed you?
283
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:15,679
I specifically said no parties.
284
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:19,183
Well, technically, you
told Maggie no parties.
285
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,552
Don't you start with the semantics.
286
00:15:21,619 --> 00:15:25,322
Oh, so now you're gonna fire
me because you're anti-semantic?
287
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,591
- Miss Fine.
- Oh, all right.
288
00:15:27,659 --> 00:15:29,226
But before you do anything rash,
289
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,262
just remember I'm a fabulous nanny
290
00:15:31,329 --> 00:15:33,364
and a wonderful influence on the children.
291
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,798
Oh, I gotta go.
292
00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:37,334
If a hooker named Sparkles
calls, tell her that I'm in court.
293
00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:40,471
Do you think this is cute
enough for an arraignment? No?
294
00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:45,576
Niles, I'm beginning to think that hiring
295
00:15:45,643 --> 00:15:47,978
a door-to-door cosmetics salesgirl
296
00:15:48,046 --> 00:15:50,914
as a nanny was not my finest hour.
297
00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:53,884
Although your skin has
never looked more supple.
298
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:59,256
Niles, this is the woman
who's raising my children.
299
00:15:59,324 --> 00:16:01,025
Yes, and look what she's done to them.
300
00:16:01,092 --> 00:16:02,359
Miss Grace's therapist
301
00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:04,828
is no longer on the speed dial.
302
00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:07,465
Master Brighton has given up
those insipid little blazers
303
00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:10,134
with the nautical emblems and the gold...
304
00:16:13,638 --> 00:16:17,674
which look so good on you, sir.
305
00:16:17,742 --> 00:16:21,344
Niles, Margaret is at a very
impressionable age right now,
306
00:16:21,412 --> 00:16:23,914
and Miss Fine's behavior is
hardly character-building.
307
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:25,582
That was certainly proven today.
308
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,384
What 16-year-old
in her right mind
309
00:16:27,451 --> 00:16:30,988
would give up the concert
of her life to save a friend?
310
00:16:32,757 --> 00:16:35,859
Niles, if I show Miss Fine leniency now,
311
00:16:35,927 --> 00:16:37,460
I'll have someone working for me
312
00:16:37,528 --> 00:16:39,930
who has absolutely no
respect for my authority
313
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:42,199
and never listens to a word I say.
314
00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:51,074
Right?
315
00:16:51,142 --> 00:16:54,278
Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I checked
out after I made my point.
316
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:03,320
The State v. Fran Fine.
317
00:17:03,754 --> 00:17:04,988
Yes?
318
00:17:05,056 --> 00:17:06,590
Miss Fine?
319
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:07,691
Yes?
320
00:17:07,759 --> 00:17:10,093
Do you have your attorney present?
321
00:17:10,161 --> 00:17:13,196
Oh, my attorney present.
322
00:17:13,264 --> 00:17:15,832
Oh, oh, you know what?
323
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,001
I'm not gonna get him anything.
324
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:22,739
Let's see how he does first.
325
00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:31,014
Is this a competency hearing?
326
00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:35,985
Meanwhile, what's the
use in having a lawyer
327
00:17:36,053 --> 00:17:38,254
for an uncle if he's a no-show?
328
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,690
Well, is he any good?
329
00:17:39,757 --> 00:17:41,792
Well, he worked for some
pretty good law firms.
330
00:17:41,859 --> 00:17:45,529
I mean, Freeburg, Freeman,
and free for the family.
331
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:47,731
- He's strictly pro bono.
- Really?
332
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:49,633
Well, I'm glad he's not representing me
333
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,234
because I'm pro-Cher.
334
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:56,607
Hold it. Hold it.
335
00:17:58,209 --> 00:17:59,876
Will you hold it?
336
00:18:01,045 --> 00:18:04,315
I... I object. I object.
337
00:18:04,382 --> 00:18:06,150
You object to what?
338
00:18:06,217 --> 00:18:08,685
To those electric doors in the men's room.
339
00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:12,222
That's the elevator.
340
00:18:17,128 --> 00:18:18,661
Use the stairs.
341
00:18:20,899 --> 00:18:23,667
Can we get on with this, please?
342
00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:27,371
Yes, Your Honor. My client
has been unjustly accused,
343
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,206
and I say that...
344
00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:31,508
Which one is my client?
345
00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:33,377
Oh, it's me. It's me, Uncle Manny.
346
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,312
Fran, Yetta's granddaughter.
347
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,515
Oh, Yetta's granddaughter.
348
00:18:39,517 --> 00:18:41,552
Who's Yetta?
349
00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:44,421
I'm your great-niece. I
spoke to you last night.
350
00:18:44,489 --> 00:18:46,890
I'm Sylvia Fine's daughter.
351
00:18:46,957 --> 00:18:48,592
Oh, yeah.
352
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,894
The one that's not married.
353
00:18:50,961 --> 00:18:52,663
That you remember?
354
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:56,500
So, Your Honor, what...
what are the charges?
355
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:59,202
Conducting business in a
residential neighborhood
356
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,939
without a franchise tax license,
357
00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:04,107
a city business license
358
00:19:04,174 --> 00:19:05,975
or a liquor license.
359
00:19:07,178 --> 00:19:08,245
Wow.
360
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,882
You're gonna need a lawyer.
361
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:15,051
You're a lawyer.
362
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,521
Then you're in luck.
363
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:21,592
Sweetheart, isn't that skirt a little snug?
364
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,727
Well, maybe just a little.
365
00:19:24,562 --> 00:19:26,229
You hear that, Your Honor?
366
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,365
The skirt is snug.
367
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:32,002
So if it doesn't fit, you must acquit.
368
00:19:43,381 --> 00:19:48,218
That's my defense? Oh, I'm going to jail.
369
00:19:49,286 --> 00:19:51,287
Do I get conjugal visits?
370
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,856
Sure.
371
00:19:52,923 --> 00:19:55,091
All right, put me down for six years.
372
00:19:56,594 --> 00:19:59,062
What... what am I saying?
373
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,164
Uncle Manny, do something.
374
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:09,272
I'm sorry, Your Honor, I
think the defense is resting.
375
00:20:10,975 --> 00:20:14,912
Miss Fine, would you just like to plead?
376
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:16,679
Yes, I would.
377
00:20:16,747 --> 00:20:20,250
Oh, please, please, don't send me to jail.
378
00:20:20,318 --> 00:20:23,920
Your... Your Honor, permission
to approach the bench?
379
00:20:23,988 --> 00:20:26,023
Come on down.
380
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:28,625
Mr. Sheffield, what are you doing here?
381
00:20:28,692 --> 00:20:30,827
Your Honor, this... this woman works for me.
382
00:20:30,895 --> 00:20:33,297
The... the party was held in my home.
383
00:20:33,364 --> 00:20:37,668
And, well, I have never known
her to knowingly break the law,
384
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,937
well, except for
free pay-per-view,
385
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,873
but then everyone schmears the cable man.
386
00:20:44,508 --> 00:20:46,510
Right?
387
00:20:46,577 --> 00:20:49,979
Why don't you just go sit down
with the rest of the dream team?
388
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,717
Mr. Sheffield,
389
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:58,721
the party was in your house?
390
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:03,293
Then you are responsible for the party.
391
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:06,763
I am fining you $500.
392
00:21:08,933 --> 00:21:11,301
And you are free to go.
393
00:21:11,368 --> 00:21:14,004
And thank God, so am I.
394
00:21:14,071 --> 00:21:15,839
Thank you, thank you.
395
00:21:15,906 --> 00:21:18,208
I can tell you one thing,
I'm not paying that fine.
396
00:21:18,275 --> 00:21:21,478
Oh, you're gonna fight
the system. What a turn-on.
397
00:21:21,545 --> 00:21:22,980
Nope. You're paying it.
398
00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:24,881
What a turnoff.
399
00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:26,850
It's coming out of your salary.
400
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,418
Oh, my salary.
401
00:21:28,486 --> 00:21:31,187
So does that mean you're not gonna fire me?
402
00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:35,125
No. But since you acted like a
bloody teenager, you're grounded.
403
00:21:35,192 --> 00:21:36,760
Grounded?
404
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,895
You know, I'm a grown woman.
405
00:21:38,963 --> 00:21:41,164
Why don't you just put me
over your knee and spank me?
406
00:21:41,232 --> 00:21:44,367
Oh, what do you know, we
made it back to turn-on.
407
00:21:48,272 --> 00:21:51,408
FRAN: Don't move, I'm
coming back with a surprise.
408
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,582
Sweetheart, you look
fabulous in that dress.
409
00:21:58,649 --> 00:22:00,883
Oh, thank you.
410
00:22:03,087 --> 00:22:04,621
Can I try it on?
411
00:22:15,302 --> 00:22:24,508
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