1
00:00:05,791 --> 00:00:07,392
(GASPING) Maggie!
2
00:00:08,894 --> 00:00:09,961
Tilt your head.
3
00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:16,801
Can I vacuum in there yet?
4
00:00:16,869 --> 00:00:18,403
You know, I think there's
more than enough suction
5
00:00:18,471 --> 00:00:20,505
going on in that room.
6
00:00:20,573 --> 00:00:22,674
Why don't you give them some privacy?
7
00:00:22,742 --> 00:00:25,477
Niles, I'm performing a
very important function.
8
00:00:25,544 --> 00:00:27,846
I'm watching out for her father.
9
00:00:29,182 --> 00:00:31,182
Yeah. The minute Mr. Sheffield comes
10
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:34,485
walking through that front door,
11
00:00:34,553 --> 00:00:37,488
I'll just shift right into my nanny schtik.
12
00:00:39,024 --> 00:00:41,793
"Maggie, you're too young, yada, yada."
13
00:00:43,028 --> 00:00:45,764
Wow! Would you look at
the way she tilts her head?
14
00:00:45,831 --> 00:00:47,999
You know, I taught her that.
15
00:00:49,367 --> 00:00:51,268
Gee, Niles, that Abdominizer
16
00:00:51,336 --> 00:00:53,738
I bought you is really paying off.
17
00:00:54,372 --> 00:00:55,707
(CLEARING THROAT)
18
00:01:01,013 --> 00:01:03,914
Not that your body could ever
compare with Mr. Sheffield's.
19
00:01:03,982 --> 00:01:05,816
He's so handsome and young.
20
00:01:07,219 --> 00:01:09,220
What are we ever gonna do with that girl?
21
00:01:09,288 --> 00:01:10,688
She's completely out of control.
22
00:01:10,756 --> 00:01:13,558
Maybe I should hire
another nanny to watch her.
23
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:15,860
Well, you know, that would
really free me up a lot to...
24
00:01:15,928 --> 00:01:17,061
Miss Fine!
25
00:01:18,497 --> 00:01:20,831
Look, I'm very concerned about Margaret.
26
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,767
She has three weeks of
winter vacation coming up,
27
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,168
and I don't want her spending
28
00:01:24,236 --> 00:01:26,670
the entire time on that
couch kissing some boy.
29
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,973
Oh, why don't you do what my father did
30
00:01:29,041 --> 00:01:31,175
when I entered my make-out years?
31
00:01:31,243 --> 00:01:33,344
- Huh?
- He walked into the den
32
00:01:33,412 --> 00:01:35,780
and he spliced into the neighbor's cable.
33
00:01:35,848 --> 00:01:36,914
And?
34
00:01:40,152 --> 00:01:42,687
I don't know. We haven't seen him since.
35
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,122
Miss Fine!
36
00:01:44,189 --> 00:01:47,292
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, she's going to be 17.
37
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,260
I mean, all she's doing is kissing.
38
00:01:49,328 --> 00:01:51,195
It's not as if she's
running out of the house
39
00:01:51,263 --> 00:01:54,565
to meet some wild drifter who's
picking her up on a motorcycle.
40
00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:56,901
(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING)
41
00:01:56,969 --> 00:01:58,369
Got to go. That's my date.
42
00:02:02,808 --> 00:02:05,377
* She was working in a
bridal shop in Flushing, Queens
43
00:02:05,444 --> 00:02:06,811
* 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
44
00:02:06,879 --> 00:02:08,480
* in one of those crushing scenes
45
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:10,382
* What was she to
do? Where was she to go?
46
00:02:10,449 --> 00:02:13,885
* She was out on her fanny
47
00:02:13,953 --> 00:02:16,321
* So over the bridge from
Flushing to the Sheffield's door
48
00:02:16,388 --> 00:02:18,957
* She was there to sell
makeup, but the father saw more
49
00:02:19,024 --> 00:02:21,225
* She had style! She
had flair! She was there!
50
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:24,796
* That's how she became the nanny!
51
00:02:24,863 --> 00:02:27,465
* Who would have guessed
that the girl we've described
52
00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,968
* was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed?
53
00:02:30,036 --> 00:02:31,569
* Now the father finds her beguiling
54
00:02:31,636 --> 00:02:32,937
* Watch out, C.C.!
55
00:02:33,005 --> 00:02:34,004
* And the kids are actually smiling
56
00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:35,473
* Such joie de vivre!
57
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:40,979
* She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan
58
00:02:41,046 --> 00:02:42,880
* The flashy girl from Flushing
59
00:02:42,948 --> 00:02:44,682
* The nanny named Fran!
60
00:02:44,683 --> 00:02:47,260
- provided by icephoenix / corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
61
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,721
If you still haven't made any
plans for your Christmas vacation,
62
00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:53,091
you're welcome to join me and Daddy.
63
00:02:53,158 --> 00:02:56,060
Oh, well, uh, you know, Mom,
64
00:02:56,127 --> 00:03:00,164
as tempting as a bus tour of
Florida dinner theaters sounds,
65
00:03:00,232 --> 00:03:03,802
I don't think I could stand the thrill
of seeing the Ropers do Love Letters.
66
00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:09,940
Oh, JJ Walker's gonna be in
Six Degrees of Separation.
67
00:03:10,008 --> 00:03:12,410
It's not too late to change your mind.
68
00:03:12,478 --> 00:03:15,113
The review says it's dynamite.
69
00:03:17,649 --> 00:03:19,416
- Oh, Niles.
- Huh?
70
00:03:19,484 --> 00:03:22,586
It's so hard planning a
vacation when you're a single.
71
00:03:22,654 --> 00:03:25,222
Yes. It's so much nicer
when you have a family
72
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,925
so you can lug their ski
equipment around Vail.
73
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,495
Sit around the fire listening to
74
00:03:30,629 --> 00:03:33,098
"Niles, get me a brandy.
Niles, bring me a comforter.
75
00:03:33,165 --> 00:03:35,200
"Niles, go out in that
blizzard for a pizza!"
76
00:03:35,267 --> 00:03:36,934
- Niles.
- What...
77
00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:41,272
... is that on your shoe,
sir? Let me get that for you.
78
00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:43,808
There you are, sir. Much better,
sir. Merry Christmas, sir.
79
00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:49,780
Miss Fine. Miss Fine,
I've... I've made a decision.
80
00:03:49,848 --> 00:03:51,782
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I simply can't risk
81
00:03:51,850 --> 00:03:54,486
Margaret spending her whole
winter vacation with that boy,
82
00:03:54,553 --> 00:03:56,687
so I'm sending her abroad.
83
00:03:56,755 --> 00:03:59,257
A broad? You want her swinging that way?
84
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,967
Miss Fine, I'm serious.
85
00:04:10,035 --> 00:04:11,636
I'm sending her away for three weeks.
86
00:04:11,904 --> 00:04:14,472
You're sending her away from her family
87
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:15,607
on the holidays?
88
00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:17,509
Uh-huh. She's going to Switzerland.
89
00:04:17,576 --> 00:04:19,176
Just her and her nanny?
90
00:04:20,846 --> 00:04:22,279
Alone.
91
00:04:22,348 --> 00:04:23,781
I'm sending her to a convent
92
00:04:23,848 --> 00:04:27,251
where she can learn French,
arts, and European history.
93
00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:31,288
Wow-wee! That sounds more
boring than I can even fathom.
94
00:04:32,658 --> 00:04:34,358
And I'm actually considering
95
00:04:34,426 --> 00:04:35,793
sitting through a bunch of bad plays
96
00:04:35,861 --> 00:04:37,661
where the only dialog I'm gonna hear
97
00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:40,131
is the audience going, "What'd he say?"
98
00:04:41,499 --> 00:04:43,134
I don't care how much Margaret protests.
99
00:04:43,202 --> 00:04:46,537
I'm her father, and what I say goes.
100
00:04:46,605 --> 00:04:48,239
So talk her into it, would you?
101
00:04:48,306 --> 00:04:49,673
Me?
102
00:04:49,742 --> 00:04:51,943
Yeah. And try to phrase it carefully.
103
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,678
I don't want to come off like an ogre.
104
00:04:53,745 --> 00:04:56,314
Oh, don't worry. You're
not gonna be an ogre.
105
00:04:56,382 --> 00:04:57,982
I'll protect you.
106
00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:01,085
Well, the ogre saw you
sucking face with Eric.
107
00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:08,626
Now he wants to send you to
a nunnery in the Swiss Alps.
108
00:05:10,128 --> 00:05:11,563
A convent?
109
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:13,397
What am I supposed to do there?
110
00:05:13,465 --> 00:05:14,832
Learn French.
111
00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:18,469
I guess he didn't see what I saw.
112
00:05:20,973 --> 00:05:23,841
Oh, honey, a convent might not be that bad.
113
00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:26,578
I got two words for you. Sound of Music.
114
00:05:28,113 --> 00:05:29,180
I mean, in two hours,
115
00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:30,682
Maria managed to ditch the nuns,
116
00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:32,984
marry a gorgeous captain,
sell the movie rights,
117
00:05:33,052 --> 00:05:37,121
and never have to schlep
up another mountain again.
118
00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:40,024
Oh, come on, Fran, would
you go if you were me?
119
00:05:40,091 --> 00:05:43,027
Honey, you know, going away by
yourself could be a great thing.
120
00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:45,863
When I was your age, I spent an
entire summer on a kibbutz in Israel,
121
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,599
and I had the time of my life.
122
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,367
A kibbutz?
123
00:05:50,436 --> 00:05:52,770
Is that like one of those
communes in the '60s?
124
00:05:54,039 --> 00:05:55,573
Well, sort of.
125
00:05:55,641 --> 00:05:57,942
Except the only thing we smoked was fish.
126
00:06:00,012 --> 00:06:02,780
Oh, yeah. But if I go,
Eric will meet another girl.
127
00:06:02,848 --> 00:06:06,650
Oh, no, he won't. You just tell
him that if he cheats on you,
128
00:06:06,718 --> 00:06:09,620
you're gonna know just by looking at him.
129
00:06:09,688 --> 00:06:12,123
Who'd be stupid enough to believe that?
130
00:06:12,191 --> 00:06:13,358
Guys.
131
00:06:15,426 --> 00:06:19,330
Well, I propose we shut
up the office on the 15th.
132
00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:23,334
No one important is ever
around for the holidays.
133
00:06:23,401 --> 00:06:25,536
You staying in town again, C.C.?
134
00:06:31,443 --> 00:06:34,611
No. This year I'm getting as far
away from this place as possible.
135
00:06:34,679 --> 00:06:36,814
Oh, Santa got my letter.
136
00:06:42,921 --> 00:06:45,189
What about you, Niles? What are your plans?
137
00:06:45,257 --> 00:06:46,757
Aren't we going to Vail?
138
00:06:46,825 --> 00:06:49,193
No, old man. This year you're on your own.
139
00:06:49,261 --> 00:06:51,462
I am?
140
00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:54,198
Yes. Why don't you take a nice
vacation just for yourself?
141
00:06:54,266 --> 00:06:57,936
(LAUGHING) Oh, please, the
lost Marx brother, Cheapo?
142
00:07:03,175 --> 00:07:05,609
Are you suggesting I'm frugal?
143
00:07:05,677 --> 00:07:08,646
Well, you have to admit, old
man, I... I know what I pay you,
144
00:07:08,714 --> 00:07:10,948
and you're not spending
it on your wardrobe, eh?
145
00:07:13,785 --> 00:07:16,053
Oh, come on, Niles, you never break a buck.
146
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,689
You live in Maxwell's
house, you eat his food.
147
00:07:18,757 --> 00:07:22,593
Nanny Fine got you that Flowbee
so you could cut your own hair.
148
00:07:24,596 --> 00:07:26,530
Where do you stash your cash?
149
00:07:26,598 --> 00:07:28,799
Somewhere you'll never get near.
150
00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:33,237
Oh. Your mattress.
151
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:36,507
No.
152
00:07:36,942 --> 00:07:38,008
His.
153
00:07:46,185 --> 00:07:48,719
Merry Christmas, Mr. Sheffield.
154
00:07:48,787 --> 00:07:53,824
Maggie's going to a convent so your
round, young virgin will stay that way.
155
00:07:55,127 --> 00:07:56,828
Miss Fine, I don't know how to thank you.
156
00:07:56,895 --> 00:08:00,331
Oh, you'll think of something.
157
00:08:00,398 --> 00:08:02,399
Fifth floor at Saks,
Ralph Lauren leather goods.
158
00:08:02,467 --> 00:08:05,536
Ask for Sadie. I put it on hold.
159
00:08:05,538 --> 00:08:08,238
Oh, Daddy, I am so excited about my trip.
160
00:08:08,306 --> 00:08:09,640
And I owe it all to Fran.
161
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:12,509
Oh, stop.
162
00:08:12,577 --> 00:08:14,345
No. I mean, I was against it at first,
163
00:08:14,413 --> 00:08:16,513
but then she really talked me into it.
164
00:08:16,515 --> 00:08:18,716
Stop.
165
00:08:18,784 --> 00:08:20,818
I can't wait to go on a kibbutz in Israel.
166
00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:22,820
Stop!
167
00:08:22,888 --> 00:08:24,822
What the devil is all this about a kibbutz?
168
00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,858
Oh, honey, I think you misunderstood
our little conversation.
169
00:08:27,926 --> 00:08:30,995
No. No. I remember. You said
that dad was an ogre and...
170
00:08:31,063 --> 00:08:33,197
No! No! No! No!
171
00:08:34,766 --> 00:08:36,534
I said okra.
172
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:39,937
Okra was what we planted on the kibbutz.
173
00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:43,374
That must have been where
you got your wires crossed.
174
00:08:44,343 --> 00:08:45,509
Well, whatever.
175
00:08:45,577 --> 00:08:48,545
Anyways, I've got to go kiss Eric goodbye.
176
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:51,682
Oh, Fran, you were so right.
When you tilt your head...
177
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:55,052
Honey, honey, look, if
you're going on a kibbutz,
178
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,722
start letting the hair
on your legs grow out.
179
00:08:58,824 --> 00:09:00,290
You know, it's amazing.
180
00:09:00,359 --> 00:09:01,992
Every time I ask you to do something,
181
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,627
you always manage to screw it all up!
182
00:09:03,695 --> 00:09:05,929
And yet, you continue to ask me.
183
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,869
You need help, mister.
184
00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:12,970
There's no way on earth
185
00:09:13,038 --> 00:09:14,571
Margaret is going to a kibbutz
186
00:09:14,639 --> 00:09:16,173
unchaperoned at her age.
187
00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:19,543
Why? My mother let me
go when I was a teenager.
188
00:09:21,213 --> 00:09:23,814
Oh, you must have been quite
a piece of work back then.
189
00:09:23,882 --> 00:09:26,416
God only knows how you managed
to scam her into that one.
190
00:09:28,019 --> 00:09:30,487
You know, you are so wrong.
191
00:09:30,555 --> 00:09:32,957
My mother and I had a
very open relationship.
192
00:09:41,766 --> 00:09:44,402
So, Val, here's the scam
that we tell my mother.
193
00:09:44,469 --> 00:09:46,637
The kibbutz is completely chaperoned.
194
00:09:47,973 --> 00:09:51,943
There are no gorgeous,
shirtless Israeli guys.
195
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:55,346
And we're only there to absorb the rich
and wonderful culture of our people.
196
00:09:57,482 --> 00:09:59,350
Got it.
197
00:09:59,418 --> 00:10:03,354
Fran, why does your mother have
to put the yoghurt in the freezer?
198
00:10:03,421 --> 00:10:06,057
That's her new invention, frozen yoghurt.
199
00:10:07,993 --> 00:10:11,162
Oh, parents are so stupid.
200
00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:13,964
Oh, Fran, look who's on Virginia Graham.
201
00:10:14,032 --> 00:10:16,867
That really cool guy from The Blue Lagoon.
202
00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:20,871
Mmm, he is going to be such a big star.
203
00:10:22,341 --> 00:10:23,674
Change the channel.
204
00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:25,543
(GRUNTING)
205
00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:30,180
Well, now, I want you to say hello
to one of the most talented, young,
206
00:10:30,248 --> 00:10:34,652
bright, exciting Broadway
producers, Mr. Maxwell Sheffield.
207
00:10:38,656 --> 00:10:40,458
Oh, don't stop now.
208
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:44,295
Oh, is he a babe!
209
00:10:47,132 --> 00:10:49,066
To think I was about to do this musical
210
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:52,369
with a bunch of people
running around dressed as cats.
211
00:10:54,439 --> 00:10:56,140
- Heaven forbid.
- Oh, terrible.
212
00:10:56,175 --> 00:10:59,510
Luckily, luckily, my secretary
talked me out of that one.
213
00:10:59,578 --> 00:11:01,746
Take a bow, Miss C.C. Babcock.
214
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,961
Fran, I just got off the phone
215
00:11:18,029 --> 00:11:20,765
with Mrs. Spielberg from down the hall,
216
00:11:20,832 --> 00:11:24,401
and her son is dying to take you out.
217
00:11:24,469 --> 00:11:28,005
Steven? That geek from AV Squad?
218
00:11:28,073 --> 00:11:30,274
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
219
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,477
How about Mrs. Milken's son?
220
00:11:33,544 --> 00:11:35,679
He's very smart.
221
00:11:35,714 --> 00:11:38,716
Meanwhile, he stole money
out of my locker, Ma.
222
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:45,856
So, Val, what do you want
to do this summer vacation?
223
00:11:45,923 --> 00:11:49,826
I want to go someplace
that I can expand my mind
224
00:11:49,895 --> 00:11:53,330
and absorb all the ancient heritage.
225
00:11:53,398 --> 00:11:55,633
You're not going to a kibbutz.
226
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,903
Ma, how did you know?
227
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:01,838
Darling, I'm your
mother. I read your diary.
228
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,607
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
229
00:12:03,675 --> 00:12:05,676
Oh, that must be Ma.
230
00:12:14,219 --> 00:12:17,121
We're going into the city.
231
00:12:17,189 --> 00:12:20,057
Uncle Jack's building is going condom.
232
00:12:23,928 --> 00:12:26,329
Meanwhile, your meshuggener granddaughter
233
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,231
wants to go to a kibbutz.
234
00:12:28,299 --> 00:12:30,801
Well, you went when you were her age.
235
00:12:30,869 --> 00:12:34,638
(GASPING) Ma!
236
00:12:34,706 --> 00:12:38,743
That was different. I
was building a nation.
237
00:12:40,946 --> 00:12:43,847
Ma, I am so never talking to you again.
238
00:12:43,915 --> 00:12:48,686
- Fran...
- I can't hear you. I can't hear you.
239
00:12:48,753 --> 00:12:52,156
Fran, you better get this
kibbutz thing out of your head
240
00:12:52,223 --> 00:12:54,658
and start thinking about your future now.
241
00:12:54,725 --> 00:12:58,462
Or you are gonna wind
up like your Cousin Myra,
242
00:12:58,530 --> 00:13:01,698
over 30 and still single.
243
00:13:04,936 --> 00:13:08,972
Sure, Ma, like that's ever gonna happen.
244
00:13:08,974 --> 00:13:12,176
Oh, Val, you should see my
Cousin Myra. It is so pathetic.
245
00:13:12,244 --> 00:13:13,477
Thirty-two years old
246
00:13:13,545 --> 00:13:15,579
in a really short mini-skirt, high heels,
247
00:13:15,647 --> 00:13:16,713
big hair.
248
00:13:16,781 --> 00:13:18,950
It is so sad.
249
00:13:25,757 --> 00:13:28,459
So you're telling me your mother let you go
250
00:13:28,526 --> 00:13:31,295
7,000 miles across the world, no argument?
251
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,597
Uh, yeah.
252
00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,367
Mr. Sheffield, I'm telling you,
253
00:13:36,435 --> 00:13:38,769
this is gonna be a really
good experience for Maggie.
254
00:13:38,837 --> 00:13:42,639
I just wish that you would trust
me as much as my mother did.
255
00:13:44,275 --> 00:13:48,746
(ECHOING) Oh, sure, a
vacuum accident on your neck?
256
00:13:48,813 --> 00:13:51,949
I don't trust you as far as
I can throw you, young lady!
257
00:13:52,017 --> 00:13:53,150
(POPPING)
258
00:14:02,494 --> 00:14:06,397
Ma, it's me.
259
00:14:07,999 --> 00:14:09,233
Ma?
260
00:14:10,335 --> 00:14:13,737
Hello. Anybody home?
261
00:14:14,839 --> 00:14:18,142
FRAN: Oh, my God!
262
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:21,212
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
263
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,754
Would it kill you to knock
264
00:14:30,822 --> 00:14:33,189
before you enter a person's bedroom?
265
00:14:33,257 --> 00:14:34,725
Ma, I'm sorry.
266
00:14:34,793 --> 00:14:37,461
I hear sounds of ecstasy
coming from your room,
267
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,696
I figure you're eating a cheesecake.
268
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,670
Darling, if it bothers you,
just forget what you saw.
269
00:14:46,738 --> 00:14:50,073
Well, that's not gonna be so easy
since it's burned in my cornea.
270
00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:54,311
Darling, what are you doing here anyway?
271
00:14:54,378 --> 00:14:55,579
Just a minute here.
272
00:14:55,647 --> 00:14:57,581
I've got to take a swig of Manischewitz.
273
00:14:59,651 --> 00:15:02,453
Mmm, good vintage. May.
274
00:15:04,255 --> 00:15:07,658
I asked you to get my
stuff from Israel, remember?
275
00:15:07,725 --> 00:15:09,960
Oh, it's over there. What
do you want with that junk?
276
00:15:10,028 --> 00:15:13,631
Oh, well, I talked Mr. Sheffield
into letting Maggie go on a kibbutz,
277
00:15:13,698 --> 00:15:16,233
and I wanted to show her
what a good time I had.
278
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:18,201
Fran, you hated the kibbutz.
279
00:15:18,269 --> 00:15:20,404
No, I didn't.
280
00:15:20,538 --> 00:15:24,641
Oh, look, here's my old journal.
281
00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:27,410
"I hate this kibbutz."
282
00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:33,116
"Friday. Almost able to braid armpit hair.
283
00:15:35,253 --> 00:15:39,856
Sent Val to Jordan to
smuggle in Lady Bics."
284
00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:42,359
You left halfway through the program.
285
00:15:42,427 --> 00:15:44,061
Don't you remember?
286
00:15:44,129 --> 00:15:46,196
We had to tell them that Nana died
287
00:15:46,264 --> 00:15:48,565
so we would get back the deposit.
288
00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:53,204
Why do I remember having
the time of my life?
289
00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:55,138
What was so great about it?
290
00:15:58,142 --> 00:15:59,443
Fran?
291
00:16:01,179 --> 00:16:03,313
Fran!
292
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:06,950
(SPEAKING HEBREW)
293
00:16:08,787 --> 00:16:10,421
Uh, yeah, yeah. Bagel, bagel.
294
00:16:10,488 --> 00:16:12,723
Shalom, matzo ball, shalom.
295
00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:18,061
Now, come over here and knish me.
296
00:16:21,533 --> 00:16:23,467
Oh, yeah.
297
00:16:23,535 --> 00:16:28,271
Now I remember why I loved it so much.
298
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:30,974
That was where I lost my...
299
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:36,647
hat.
300
00:16:37,882 --> 00:16:39,082
All right.
301
00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:41,752
So you did have fun. I was wrong.
302
00:16:41,819 --> 00:16:45,656
So, maybe Maggie will just
have as much fun as you.
303
00:16:47,926 --> 00:16:49,826
Oh, over my dead body!
304
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:58,502
(EXCLAIMING) This old
dishrag has seen better days.
305
00:17:00,138 --> 00:17:02,272
Were your ears burning?
306
00:17:08,747 --> 00:17:11,615
Looky, Diamond Jim, I brought
you some travel brochures.
307
00:17:11,683 --> 00:17:13,350
Don't worry. They're free.
308
00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:19,156
Let's see. Ooh, windsurfing in Saint Barts.
309
00:17:19,224 --> 00:17:20,257
Uh-oh.
310
00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:22,125
$25 equipment fee.
311
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,830
Well, you know, if you
flip one really fast,
312
00:17:26,897 --> 00:17:28,098
it's like you're there.
313
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:32,402
Is that how you make your dates move?
314
00:17:34,539 --> 00:17:37,574
As it happens, I've made travel plans.
315
00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:40,978
Oh, which island did you
decide on? Staten or Coney?
316
00:17:43,181 --> 00:17:45,048
Actually, I can afford
to make a lovely trip.
317
00:17:45,116 --> 00:17:47,351
I sold a pair of gaudy gold cuff links
318
00:17:47,418 --> 00:17:48,685
Mr. Sheffield gave me,
319
00:17:48,753 --> 00:17:51,154
one treble clef, one bass clef.
320
00:17:54,292 --> 00:17:57,494
I gave Maxwell those cuff
links for his birthday.
321
00:17:59,064 --> 00:18:02,165
Oh. Well, then, thanks for the trip.
322
00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:08,906
Niles, Niles, where's Mr. Sheffield?
323
00:18:08,973 --> 00:18:11,408
I've got to talk to him about
Maggie going on this kibbutz.
324
00:18:11,476 --> 00:18:13,343
But didn't you already talk
him into it this morning?
325
00:18:13,411 --> 00:18:15,712
Yeah. But it's this afternoon.
Now, I've got to talk him out of it.
326
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:17,548
- Keep up! Keep up!
- But it's too late.
327
00:18:17,615 --> 00:18:19,750
He's already gone shopping
with her for the trip.
328
00:18:19,818 --> 00:18:23,220
Oh, good. Okay. She's trying
on short shorts and tube tops.
329
00:18:23,287 --> 00:18:25,455
He's looking at salesmen looking at her
330
00:18:25,523 --> 00:18:26,990
in the short shorts and tube tops.
331
00:18:27,058 --> 00:18:28,325
They're at each other's throat.
332
00:18:28,392 --> 00:18:29,626
The trip's off. My work is done.
333
00:18:29,694 --> 00:18:31,027
(EXCLAIMING)
334
00:18:31,095 --> 00:18:34,097
Oh, good, you're still
here. Wait till you see this.
335
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:42,839
Isn't that adorable?
336
00:18:42,907 --> 00:18:45,775
I'm dead.
337
00:18:45,843 --> 00:18:48,645
Wow, Dad, thank you so much
for all this cool stuff.
338
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:49,947
I love you.
339
00:18:50,014 --> 00:18:52,349
Oh, love you too, sweetheart.
340
00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:55,518
Oh, Miss Fine, I can't thank you enough.
341
00:18:55,586 --> 00:18:58,021
You know, I don't think Margaret
and I have ever been this close.
342
00:18:58,089 --> 00:19:02,225
I just hope she has as thrilling
a time on her kibbutz as you did.
343
00:19:04,695 --> 00:19:06,729
Yeah. Well, be careful what you hope for.
344
00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,599
You know, Margaret and I are like...
345
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,201
Well, we're like friends.
346
00:19:11,269 --> 00:19:12,635
When we were shopping just now,
347
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,571
we ran into a couple of her schoolmates,
348
00:19:14,638 --> 00:19:18,609
and for the first time,
she didn't make me hide.
349
00:19:18,676 --> 00:19:19,743
Oh.
350
00:19:19,811 --> 00:19:22,245
Sweet. Touching. Love it.
351
00:19:22,313 --> 00:19:24,380
Now, haul yourself upstairs
and tell her she can't go.
352
00:19:24,448 --> 00:19:26,817
What? Why? Why?
353
00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:31,621
Uh, they closed Israel for Hanukkah. Yup.
354
00:19:31,689 --> 00:19:36,159
Too many people, too many
candles. Big fire hazard. Big.
355
00:19:36,227 --> 00:19:38,461
Miss Fine.
356
00:19:38,529 --> 00:19:40,697
All right. You wanna
know what it really is?
357
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:44,234
I kind of remembered that the
kibbutz was where I lost my...
358
00:19:44,302 --> 00:19:48,205
Oh, hi, kids! What's new?
359
00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:49,639
Well, we were just in the basement...
360
00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:50,974
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
361
00:19:51,042 --> 00:19:54,244
Everybody quiet, except Miss Fine.
362
00:19:54,311 --> 00:19:57,313
Now, you were saying you don't
want Margaret to go to the kibbutz
363
00:19:57,381 --> 00:19:59,683
because that's where you lost your...
364
00:20:03,721 --> 00:20:04,821
Hat.
365
00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:07,491
Hat?
366
00:20:07,558 --> 00:20:09,459
ALL: Hat?
367
00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:12,896
All right. I take it you were
very attached to this hat.
368
00:20:14,632 --> 00:20:16,766
Well, not as much as my mother was.
369
00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:21,138
Look, Miss Fine,
370
00:20:21,205 --> 00:20:23,373
what on earth is the big
deal about losing your...
371
00:20:28,379 --> 00:20:33,049
Oh, God! Oh, my God! Everybody out!
372
00:20:33,117 --> 00:20:35,418
No! No! No! Not you, Miss Fine.
373
00:20:36,187 --> 00:20:38,255
Oh, my God!
374
00:20:38,323 --> 00:20:40,157
Why... why do I ever listen to you?
375
00:20:40,391 --> 00:20:43,159
Well, my voice is kind of hard to tune out.
376
00:20:45,129 --> 00:20:47,164
It's like one of those innate compulsions
377
00:20:47,231 --> 00:20:49,532
like smelling milk you know has gone bad
378
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,168
or touching something
that says "wet paint,"
379
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:53,336
or gnawing at the inside of your
cheek when the dentist says...
380
00:20:53,404 --> 00:20:57,174
All right. Okay. We get the
picture. I'll go tell her.
381
00:20:57,241 --> 00:21:01,077
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, you
don't. This is where I take over.
382
00:21:01,145 --> 00:21:04,080
Now you'll see how something
is done when it's done right.
383
00:21:04,148 --> 00:21:07,684
Margaret is not going to the
kibbutz, and that is final.
384
00:21:12,056 --> 00:21:13,791
I have to hand it to you, Miss Fine.
385
00:21:13,858 --> 00:21:16,794
This was a brilliant solution
to everyone's problem.
386
00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:19,863
Meanwhile, would you
go pick some grapefruit?
387
00:21:19,931 --> 00:21:21,598
'Cause if we don't come
back with a full wheelbarrow,
388
00:21:21,665 --> 00:21:24,301
they're gonna kick us off. And
there's no Ramada around here.
389
00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:27,103
All right, all right.
390
00:21:31,109 --> 00:21:32,309
Fran?
391
00:21:33,278 --> 00:21:38,047
Oh, my God! Yelsey, hi.
392
00:21:38,115 --> 00:21:39,916
Are you still working here?
393
00:21:39,983 --> 00:21:42,286
Yes. But now I work with my son.
394
00:21:43,188 --> 00:21:45,221
You like kibbutz?
395
00:21:47,358 --> 00:21:48,491
Yeah.
396
00:21:49,894 --> 00:21:51,794
You want me to take your hat?
397
00:21:51,863 --> 00:21:54,430
Oh, no, you don't!
398
00:22:09,346 --> 00:22:11,215
Nice tan, Sheila.
399
00:22:13,017 --> 00:22:14,751
Bonjour, Marisol.
400
00:22:16,821 --> 00:22:18,421
Oh, shake it, Miss Babcock.
401
00:22:27,231 --> 00:22:30,033
Oh, daylight come and me want go home.
402
00:22:40,034 --> 00:22:50,034
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