1
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:06,064
Tessa, Dalia, and Dallas:
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
2
00:00:06,095 --> 00:00:08,723
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
3
00:00:08,769 --> 00:00:10,494
♪ Happy Birthday dear... ♪
4
00:00:10,495 --> 00:00:13,631
♪ Daddy Altman ♪
5
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:17,753
(continues droning)
6
00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:20,871
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
7
00:00:23,511 --> 00:00:24,637
Dallas: And look, George,
8
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,076
there's an actual fortune inside.
9
00:00:26,077 --> 00:00:27,945
Oh, yeah. Okay.
10
00:00:27,979 --> 00:00:30,648
"You will not forget gratuity."
11
00:00:33,418 --> 00:00:34,485
Ready for presents?
12
00:00:34,519 --> 00:00:36,820
Bring 'em on. (Clears throat)
13
00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:39,171
Want some help?
14
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:40,758
- Don't touch.
- Okay.
15
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:43,727
Here. This was really thoughtful of me.
16
00:00:43,762 --> 00:00:46,448
Oh, well, we'll just see about that.
(Chuckles)
17
00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:49,433
It's a weekend getaway at a five-star B&B.
18
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,534
(Gasps)
19
00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:52,136
Wow.
20
00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:53,636
It's a really romantic place.
21
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:55,122
Exciting!
22
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,046
Everyone who goes there gets super horny.
23
00:00:57,062 --> 00:00:57,859
Dalia.
24
00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:58,931
When you guys go there,
25
00:00:58,962 --> 00:01:00,783
you'll definitely end up
having sex with each other.
26
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,177
- Why are you so disgusting?
- Why are you such a prude?
27
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:05,788
Girls, I'm sure there are
many other attributes
28
00:01:05,789 --> 00:01:06,958
we can focus on. Look...
29
00:01:06,962 --> 00:01:09,980
they offer horseback riding, a hedge maze,
30
00:01:10,027 --> 00:01:11,548
oh, and lighthouse tours.
31
00:01:11,583 --> 00:01:13,374
Everyone hooks up after
the lighthouse tour.
32
00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:14,133
Okay.
33
00:01:14,134 --> 00:01:16,847
A lighthouse is basically
a bright, shining...
34
00:01:17,128 --> 00:01:18,355
penis.
35
00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:20,057
Dallas: My turn!
36
00:01:20,937 --> 00:01:22,914
Wha... uh-oh. Uh-oh.
37
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:26,130
(Laughs) I wonder what in
the world this might be.
38
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:27,731
You'll never guess! (Laughing)
39
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,573
Okay.
40
00:01:32,042 --> 00:01:33,497
Yes, look at that.
41
00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:34,972
Would... would you look at that?
42
00:01:35,226 --> 00:01:37,353
Oh. Okay. It's one of those. (Chuckles)
43
00:01:37,368 --> 00:01:38,075
(Gasps)
44
00:01:38,195 --> 00:01:41,099
Wow, I... you know, I always wondered
45
00:01:41,219 --> 00:01:42,678
if I... I could... I... I
could pull one of these off.
46
00:01:42,694 --> 00:01:44,312
Of course you can, George.
47
00:01:44,432 --> 00:01:47,073
You deserve a guitar as sexy as you...
(Chuckles)
48
00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:50,780
and... the man who autographed it.
49
00:01:50,796 --> 00:01:53,251
Okay, yes. Well, um...
50
00:01:53,252 --> 00:01:54,057
Deryck Whibley!
51
00:01:54,177 --> 00:01:55,817
It's a signed Whibley, George. (Gasps)
52
00:01:55,818 --> 00:01:57,467
Uh... are ya over the moon?
53
00:01:57,694 --> 00:01:59,657
Ah... it came with this here certificate
54
00:01:59,689 --> 00:02:01,941
of whiblenticity.
55
00:02:02,061 --> 00:02:05,842
And an iron-on patch for your jean coat.
56
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:11,154
O... okay. Well, that was very, very sweet.
57
00:02:11,193 --> 00:02:13,517
- Oh, you're welcome.
- Tessa: My turn.
58
00:02:15,338 --> 00:02:17,684
Wow. You got him a square.
59
00:02:17,739 --> 00:02:19,874
That's the shape of what I got him,
60
00:02:19,905 --> 00:02:23,065
except... it's a rectangle.
61
00:02:23,589 --> 00:02:25,328
Happy Birthday, dad.
62
00:02:25,363 --> 00:02:28,698
Oh, wow. You got him old blue paper.
63
00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:30,190
It's a blueprint.
64
00:02:30,198 --> 00:02:33,537
A design from your early
days at architectural school.
65
00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:35,844
I found it at my grandma's.
66
00:02:40,778 --> 00:02:42,797
Why isn't he saying anything?
67
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,782
Maybe he's got a noodle
stuck in his throat.
68
00:02:45,816 --> 00:02:47,097
That happens to me sometimes.
69
00:02:47,152 --> 00:02:49,412
Even after I finish chewing and swallowing,
70
00:02:49,532 --> 00:02:50,898
then suddenly I realize,
71
00:02:50,945 --> 00:02:51,844
"you know what?
72
00:02:51,899 --> 00:02:54,558
"I have a noodle in my throat,
73
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:56,159
just sittin' there."
74
00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:58,670
I don't have a noodle stuck in my throat.
75
00:02:58,671 --> 00:03:00,040
I was just speechless for a moment.
76
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,948
Are you upset?
77
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,115
(Exhales) Nowhere near it.
78
00:03:04,168 --> 00:03:05,835
Come here.
79
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,339
Thank you.
80
00:03:11,396 --> 00:03:13,910
Well, guys,
81
00:03:14,743 --> 00:03:15,744
this has been so...
82
00:03:15,752 --> 00:03:17,793
9:00 reservation.
83
00:03:18,309 --> 00:03:19,701
Special.
84
00:03:19,905 --> 00:03:21,663
Yeah, guys, get your stuff.
85
00:03:21,664 --> 00:03:23,853
O... okay, let me... yeah, I'm coming.
86
00:03:23,973 --> 00:03:25,730
George: Come on, girls. Let's go.
87
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:28,178
Dallas: Come on. Let's go.
88
00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:34,390
- Corrected by chamallow -
- WEB-DL resync by lost0ne -
- www.addic7ed.com -
89
00:03:34,466 --> 00:03:38,775
[Alih Jay] ♪ Last night I
had a pleasant nightmare ♪
90
00:03:38,796 --> 00:03:42,596
2x17
Eat, Pray, Eat
91
00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:45,471
(school bell rings)
92
00:03:45,591 --> 00:03:48,540
Is that true? Do lighthouse
tours make people horny?
93
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,850
I have no idea.
94
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:51,482
Makes sense.
95
00:03:51,483 --> 00:03:52,752
If you think about it, a lighthouse
96
00:03:52,753 --> 00:03:54,735
is basically just a bright, shining penis.
97
00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:55,911
I don't wanna argue about this.
98
00:03:56,031 --> 00:03:57,064
But all things considered,
99
00:03:57,074 --> 00:03:58,716
it was still a really good birthday.
100
00:03:58,836 --> 00:03:59,801
George seemed happy,
101
00:03:59,811 --> 00:04:01,921
and he got kind of emotional
102
00:04:01,922 --> 00:04:03,614
when he opened the present I got him.
103
00:04:03,734 --> 00:04:05,451
It almost looked like he was gonna cry.
104
00:04:05,571 --> 00:04:07,572
Yeah, my father weeps every birthday,
105
00:04:07,573 --> 00:04:10,183
but it has less to do with
being emotional about gifts,
106
00:04:10,303 --> 00:04:12,323
and more to do with the death clock
107
00:04:12,324 --> 00:04:13,878
ticking loudly in his ears.
108
00:04:13,998 --> 00:04:16,145
You guys! Trance party
this weekend at Dalia's.
109
00:04:16,146 --> 00:04:17,290
No, thanks.
110
00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:19,138
Are you crazy?
111
00:04:19,402 --> 00:04:22,071
Tessa, did you not hear what I
just said about the death clock?
112
00:04:22,191 --> 00:04:25,610
Let's enjoy our youth while
we have it, shall we?
113
00:04:35,571 --> 00:04:36,353
George!
114
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,201
Oh, hey, Dallas. Okay, honest opinion...
115
00:04:38,191 --> 00:04:39,550
should this go above the drafting table
116
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:40,614
or by the bar?
117
00:04:40,615 --> 00:04:41,622
Gee, I don't know.
118
00:04:41,623 --> 00:04:44,297
Maybe you oughta hang it
where the sun don't shine.
119
00:04:46,236 --> 00:04:47,204
Oh, crap.
120
00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:48,641
Yeah, apparently, you thought so.
121
00:04:48,642 --> 00:04:50,204
I... I forgot the guitar.
122
00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:52,258
Dallas, I'm sorry.
There was so much going on.
123
00:04:52,268 --> 00:04:55,484
Remember? The... the... the
9:00 reservation was waiting?
124
00:04:55,604 --> 00:04:57,497
Look here. If for some reason
125
00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,742
you don't fancy a guitar signed
by Deryck freakin' Whibley,
126
00:05:00,743 --> 00:05:02,180
you should just come on out and say so.
127
00:05:02,181 --> 00:05:03,969
I do, baby. I do. I'm sorry.
128
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,221
I... I fancy it.
129
00:05:05,341 --> 00:05:07,791
'Cause Whibley used a guitar just like this
130
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:11,682
during his Sum 41's entire
"Strength in Numbers" tour.
131
00:05:11,802 --> 00:05:14,448
"Strength in Numbers." Yes,
I... I know. It's a beauty.
132
00:05:14,568 --> 00:05:16,766
So just say the word,
George. You just say the word
133
00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:19,463
and I'll get you a flaccid,
cable-knit cardigan,
134
00:05:19,464 --> 00:05:20,529
if that's preferable.
135
00:05:20,549 --> 00:05:22,338
Dallas, listen to me.
136
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:24,576
I love it. I do.
137
00:05:24,696 --> 00:05:26,668
And I love you for getting it for me.
138
00:05:26,788 --> 00:05:28,841
Well, you have a funny way of showing love.
139
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:29,572
(Sighs)
140
00:05:29,591 --> 00:05:30,705
Okay, let me make it up to you.
141
00:05:30,725 --> 00:05:32,392
I'm gonna run out to the
garage, grab an amp,
142
00:05:32,377 --> 00:05:34,027
and play your favorite feel-good song.
143
00:05:34,039 --> 00:05:35,648
What's your favorite feel-good song?
144
00:05:35,682 --> 00:05:37,706
- I don't have one.
- Oh, of course you do. Come on.
145
00:05:37,715 --> 00:05:40,753
What can I play to put a smile
on that pretty face of yours?
146
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,255
"Bump N' grind."
147
00:05:45,556 --> 00:05:47,530
I know "Lady in Red."
148
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,031
(Door opens)
149
00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:02,154
Alex's studio?
150
00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:03,856
And that's when Dallas realized
151
00:06:03,857 --> 00:06:08,167
that her present had been
upstaged by George's past.
152
00:06:10,810 --> 00:06:12,511
A trance party?
153
00:06:12,541 --> 00:06:15,004
Come on, Tessa. Why not? It would be fun.
154
00:06:15,014 --> 00:06:16,695
Dalia: Tessa's not fun.
155
00:06:16,815 --> 00:06:18,484
(Click)
156
00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:21,043
(Door creaks)
157
00:06:21,818 --> 00:06:23,431
Tessa's prematurely boring.
158
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,599
- I beg your pardon.
- See?
159
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,743
I am scads of fun.
160
00:06:27,863 --> 00:06:30,319
Fun people don't say "scads." (Girls laugh)
161
00:06:30,353 --> 00:06:33,070
Tessa just turned 50 with her father.
162
00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:35,491
(Girls laugh)
163
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,227
Really? I did?
164
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:41,097
So then how would you explain the fact
165
00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:44,831
that three nights ago, I
had a waffle for dinner.
166
00:06:45,101 --> 00:06:46,049
A waffle.
167
00:06:46,169 --> 00:06:47,102
Uh-oh.
168
00:06:47,137 --> 00:06:48,604
That is a breakfast food.
169
00:06:48,638 --> 00:06:50,227
Oh, well, folks!
170
00:06:50,347 --> 00:06:52,241
Had one for dinner!
171
00:06:52,275 --> 00:06:54,665
It doesn't get much wackier than that.
172
00:06:54,695 --> 00:06:58,347
Actually, I think it gets much wackier.
173
00:06:58,381 --> 00:07:00,951
DJ Lance trance from France.
174
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:02,682
His music will entrance you.
175
00:07:02,802 --> 00:07:04,461
If you let it.
176
00:07:04,581 --> 00:07:05,996
Tessa: How did this happen?
177
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,863
I used to be the edgy one.
178
00:07:07,983 --> 00:07:09,408
I used to be a badass.
179
00:07:09,447 --> 00:07:12,027
And now, after two
years in suburbia,
180
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,246
I'm an unfun prude?
181
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:15,351
What is she doing?
182
00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:16,808
Oh, I believe she's thinking.
183
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,946
Well, I'm done thinking. And... I'm in.
184
00:07:19,965 --> 00:07:20,796
Yeah, I'm in.
185
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:22,918
And... and I'm fun and I'm wild
186
00:07:22,957 --> 00:07:25,977
and I'm down to do whatevs to help.
187
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:28,168
Now if you'll excuse me,
188
00:07:28,202 --> 00:07:30,063
I gotta go...
189
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,319
wizz-nosh my food holders.
190
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,709
Yup! I called 'em "food holders,"
191
00:07:36,744 --> 00:07:39,946
'cause that's what they does.
192
00:07:42,225 --> 00:07:45,127
Meanwhile, Dallas sought
refuge in the place
193
00:07:45,128 --> 00:07:47,553
where all the unsatisfied
women of Chatswin
194
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,654
found satisfaction... the ziti zone.
195
00:07:49,655 --> 00:07:51,180
Jill! Jill Werner!
196
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,359
- Mm?
- Jill had found more satisfaction than most.
197
00:07:53,394 --> 00:07:55,423
I'm so glad I found you.
198
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,930
Mmm. Mmm.
199
00:07:58,024 --> 00:08:00,057
Dallas. Have you eaten?
200
00:08:00,077 --> 00:08:03,596
The fettuccine carbonara
tastes like two angels made it.
201
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:06,079
Two angels who are pretty liberal
202
00:08:06,088 --> 00:08:08,845
with their use of cream and cheese
203
00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:10,126
and ham.
204
00:08:10,246 --> 00:08:12,902
Oh, I can't eat, Jill.
My stomach's in knots.
205
00:08:13,246 --> 00:08:14,691
I messed up.
206
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,048
I messed up big-time.
207
00:08:21,153 --> 00:08:23,607
I let myself fall in
love with George Altman
208
00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:25,592
even though...
209
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,234
Even though what?
210
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:29,551
Don't get me wrong, Jill.
211
00:08:29,561 --> 00:08:31,360
George cares for me, I know he does,
212
00:08:31,389 --> 00:08:34,419
but I am not the love of his life.
213
00:08:34,634 --> 00:08:36,590
I am just the love in his life.
214
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,760
(Inhales deeply) Oh.
215
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,969
I feel so vulnerable.
216
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,817
What should I do, Jill? Tell me.
217
00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:45,036
You're the strongest white woman I know.
218
00:08:45,156 --> 00:08:46,600
Besides P! nk.
219
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,617
Look, Dallas,
220
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,480
I can't sit here and pretend
to have all the answers,
221
00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:52,370
or enough fresh pepper.
222
00:08:52,404 --> 00:08:54,020
(Footsteps approach)
223
00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,868
(Grinding) Thank you.
224
00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:57,451
When Noah first left...
225
00:08:57,490 --> 00:08:59,690
I will let you know when I'm done...
226
00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:03,551
(Grinding resumes) I was
filled with despair.
227
00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:07,719
But then I did something radical.
228
00:09:07,753 --> 00:09:11,789
I did something that no one
in their right mind would do.
229
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:15,449
I purchased "Eat Pray Love" on Blu-Ray.
230
00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:18,147
(Gasps) You heard me. I own it now.
231
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,560
(Gasps) And while I
haven't yet transitioned
232
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,145
from the eating phase,
233
00:09:22,265 --> 00:09:24,207
I feel remarkably better,
234
00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:28,773
in part because I hadn't consumed
carbohydrates in 15 years.
235
00:09:28,807 --> 00:09:32,341
So are you trying to tell
me that your inner strength
236
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,299
comes from...
237
00:09:33,318 --> 00:09:35,293
(Slurps noodle) Carbo loading.
238
00:09:35,413 --> 00:09:36,916
Mmm.
239
00:09:37,036 --> 00:09:39,428
And listening to my inner voice...
240
00:09:39,548 --> 00:09:41,090
which is telling me to carbo load.
241
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:43,806
Well, you do seem remarkably content.
242
00:09:43,807 --> 00:09:45,098
Mmm...
243
00:09:45,332 --> 00:09:47,326
I am, Dallas. I am.
244
00:09:47,365 --> 00:09:49,350
And so while I don't mean to oversimplify
245
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,894
your issues with George,
246
00:09:51,014 --> 00:09:54,101
I feel I would be remiss if I didn't ask.
247
00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:58,158
Would you like an endless
bowl of spaghetti?
248
00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,172
Why, yes.
249
00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:02,958
Yes, I suppose I would.
250
00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:07,593
Dallas: Sorry I can't
take your call right now.
251
00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:08,932
I'm doing me.
252
00:10:09,052 --> 00:10:11,806
Leave a message and I'll
return when I'm ready to do you.
253
00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:12,744
(Beep)
254
00:10:12,773 --> 00:10:14,660
Hey, Dallas, it's George.
255
00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:16,957
Uh, so let me see...
256
00:10:16,958 --> 00:10:18,453
you took off without saying good-bye,
257
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:20,330
and now you're not answering my calls.
258
00:10:20,331 --> 00:10:23,663
So I'm guessing you're still upset with me.
259
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,694
Could you call me back
please so we can talk?
260
00:10:26,814 --> 00:10:28,366
(Lowered voice) Leave your number.
261
00:10:28,486 --> 00:10:29,881
(Lowered voice) She... she has my number.
262
00:10:29,891 --> 00:10:33,106
I like to leave it again just in case.
263
00:10:33,107 --> 00:10:34,271
(Normal voice) You have my number.
264
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,099
Just call me back, please.
265
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,641
(Normal voice) Let me guess...
she's mad at you.
266
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:41,026
I'm going through the same
thing with my old lady.
267
00:10:41,027 --> 00:10:42,746
Rrr. (Clicks tongue)
268
00:10:42,866 --> 00:10:45,318
You mean your old cleaning lady?
269
00:10:45,681 --> 00:10:46,940
(Sighs deeply) I don't know.
270
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,407
She's kept me at Swiffer's length
271
00:10:48,416 --> 00:10:50,429
ever since I confessed my love for her.
272
00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:52,821
Maybe I didn't come on strong enough.
273
00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:55,290
Maybe I didn't prove myself.
274
00:10:55,324 --> 00:10:59,130
I'm considering challenging
her father to a knife fight.
275
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:01,359
Assuming he's local.
276
00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:03,166
Right, but unlike you and Carmen,
277
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,747
Dallas and I are actually
in a relationship.
278
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,508
We're together. She should feel secure.
279
00:11:07,527 --> 00:11:08,505
I shouldn't have to...
280
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,607
slash the cheek of her father.
281
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,530
Look, I don't understand...
282
00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:14,566
Hmm?
283
00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:16,266
Women. (Chuckles)
284
00:11:16,608 --> 00:11:18,777
That's why I started seeing a therapist.
285
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:22,250
You should ask him why
Dallas won't call you back.
286
00:11:22,284 --> 00:11:23,412
He's right over there.
287
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,186
Noah: Hi, Bob!
288
00:11:25,221 --> 00:11:28,356
I'm, uh, expressing an interest in others,
289
00:11:28,391 --> 00:11:30,792
and I'm avoiding my Carmen triggers.
290
00:11:30,826 --> 00:11:32,677
Stop seeking my approval.
291
00:11:32,797 --> 00:11:33,695
Will do!
292
00:11:33,729 --> 00:11:35,397
I love you.
293
00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:41,644
(Lowered voice) Is he looking over here?
294
00:11:44,774 --> 00:11:46,207
(Whispers) Oh.
295
00:11:46,242 --> 00:11:48,009
Hi, mommy.
296
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:51,234
I packed your bags for your
getaway with Daddy Altman.
297
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,329
Dalia Oprah,
298
00:11:52,449 --> 00:11:54,773
you can go ahead and
unpack that whole thing,
299
00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:56,025
'cause I'm not going anywhere.
300
00:11:56,064 --> 00:11:57,743
You might be pinterested to know
301
00:11:57,744 --> 00:12:00,179
that your mommy's done
giving her love away.
302
00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:04,324
From now on, I'm gonna
eat pray love myself.
303
00:12:04,444 --> 00:12:06,632
Well, can you love yourself somewhere else?
304
00:12:06,752 --> 00:12:08,704
Truth is, I'm having a party tonight,
305
00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:11,265
and I'm gonna need you to
get the "H" out of our "H."
306
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:13,631
I see. And I pity you, Dalia,
307
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,579
'cause you're in a place
308
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,560
where you're still seeking
outside love and affection.
309
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,975
Me? I'm done looking outside.
310
00:12:20,095 --> 00:12:22,546
From now on, if my stomach's
gonna be in knots,
311
00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:25,586
I want it to be because I've
been eatin' garlic knots.
312
00:12:25,706 --> 00:12:28,607
Which reminds me, I found a
great place for garlic knots.
313
00:12:28,988 --> 00:12:31,667
So if you need me, that's where I'll be.
314
00:12:31,787 --> 00:12:33,611
(Tapping heels)
315
00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:38,408
Tessa: Sometimes, to win
the heart of your true love,
316
00:12:38,447 --> 00:12:40,579
you have to be willing
to spice things up.
317
00:12:40,699 --> 00:12:42,905
Noah: Carmentita!
318
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,906
(Mariachi band playing outside)
319
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:50,940
♪ Besame ♪
320
00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:55,017
♪ Besame mucho ♪
321
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:58,097
♪ Como si fuera esta noche ♪
322
00:12:58,126 --> 00:13:01,147
♪ la ultima vez ♪
323
00:13:02,398 --> 00:13:04,773
♪ Besame ♪
324
00:13:04,793 --> 00:13:07,295
♪ Besame mucho ♪
325
00:13:07,296 --> 00:13:08,411
Mr. Werner... (Music stops)
326
00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:11,186
Why are you dressed like the tapatio man?
327
00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:12,800
'Cause I know you love him.
328
00:13:13,113 --> 00:13:16,808
And I want to give old
tapatio a run for his dinero.
329
00:13:16,818 --> 00:13:18,676
(Band plays flourish) Aah-ay!
330
00:13:18,685 --> 00:13:21,383
I want to be the man you
reach for when you're hungry!
331
00:13:21,393 --> 00:13:23,347
(Flourish) Rra-ha!
332
00:13:23,348 --> 00:13:24,179
Oh, brother.
333
00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:25,742
Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles!
334
00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:27,249
Get 'em all out of the house!
335
00:13:27,369 --> 00:13:29,458
I want to tell each and every one of them
336
00:13:29,732 --> 00:13:31,325
how much I love you!
337
00:13:31,364 --> 00:13:35,889
Carm? Is everything okay?
338
00:13:35,924 --> 00:13:37,944
Dr. Bob?
339
00:13:38,325 --> 00:13:40,961
What is my therapist doing here?
340
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:44,591
You make house calls? In your pajamas?
341
00:13:44,796 --> 00:13:46,038
No.
342
00:13:46,546 --> 00:13:49,049
No, I don't.
343
00:13:50,124 --> 00:13:51,972
No.
344
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,260
No, no!
345
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:57,662
Bob, you scoundrel!
346
00:13:58,313 --> 00:14:01,482
Carmen and I are seeing each other.
347
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:05,352
But you know that I am
deeply in love with Carmen.
348
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:08,834
And now I... understand why.
349
00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:10,705
(Band plays flourish) Arr-a-hah-ay!
350
00:14:10,825 --> 00:14:12,326
Not now!
351
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,961
- Get in the house, Bob.
- Yes.
352
00:14:13,995 --> 00:14:17,750
This is incredibly unprofessional!
353
00:14:17,751 --> 00:14:19,403
Noah, I take it I won't be seeing you
354
00:14:19,404 --> 00:14:21,502
at our usual time on Monday?
355
00:14:21,536 --> 00:14:23,821
Um, no! I don't think so!
356
00:14:23,941 --> 00:14:25,492
But I'm not canceling now.
357
00:14:25,493 --> 00:14:27,467
I... I'm... I'm canceling the morning of!
358
00:14:27,506 --> 00:14:30,678
You hear that?
I'm canceling the morning of!
359
00:14:30,712 --> 00:14:31,466
I understand,
360
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:33,519
but I'm afraid if you do that,
361
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:36,350
I'll still have to bill you for the hour.
362
00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:39,638
And keep in mind that your insurance
363
00:14:39,639 --> 00:14:41,887
won't reimburse you for
a missed appointment,
364
00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:43,774
so I'm just going to ask
you one more time...
365
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,631
are you canceling?
366
00:14:46,294 --> 00:14:48,762
Yes. I'm canceling.
367
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,433
I'm canceling.
368
00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:57,899
♪
369
00:15:01,419 --> 00:15:04,912
Arr-a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
370
00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:07,881
♪
371
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:15,124
♪
372
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,268
Which one of these tops says,
373
00:15:19,388 --> 00:15:22,494
"I'm enjoying my youth as
much as you reckless teens"?
374
00:15:22,953 --> 00:15:25,153
(Sighs) The green one.
375
00:15:25,273 --> 00:15:26,675
♪
376
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:27,987
Totally.
377
00:15:28,107 --> 00:15:30,195
Oh, hey, aren't you supposed
to be getting on the road by now
378
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,151
for your weekend getaway with Dallas?
379
00:15:32,271 --> 00:15:35,063
Oh, I think those plans are
on hold at the moment.
380
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,029
Dallas isn't returning my calls.
381
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:39,659
I think she's still upset
over the flying "V" incident.
382
00:15:39,698 --> 00:15:40,997
Yeah, well, not everyone
383
00:15:40,998 --> 00:15:42,954
can knock it out of the park like I did.
384
00:15:43,074 --> 00:15:45,642
Gifting is a gift that I am gifted at.
385
00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:46,845
(Chuckles) Yes, you are.
386
00:15:46,874 --> 00:15:48,819
And if I'd been able to
make Dallas feel that she was
387
00:15:49,055 --> 00:15:50,286
gifted at gifting,
388
00:15:50,287 --> 00:15:53,082
then we probably wouldn't be
having this conversation right now.
389
00:15:53,092 --> 00:15:54,607
But come on.
390
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:58,263
I mean, a brand-new guitar? (Chuckles)
391
00:15:58,383 --> 00:16:00,365
What's wrong with a brand-new guitar?
392
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:02,525
Well, when it comes to musical instruments,
393
00:16:02,555 --> 00:16:04,510
"new" isn't meaningful.
394
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,221
Then what is?
395
00:16:06,553 --> 00:16:08,586
History.
396
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,315
It wasn't the guitar. It was the blueprint.
397
00:16:14,435 --> 00:16:16,358
She's mad about the blueprint.
398
00:16:16,837 --> 00:16:18,548
(Soft thud)
399
00:16:19,574 --> 00:16:22,153
(Exhales)
400
00:16:22,903 --> 00:16:29,854
(Electronic dance music playing)
401
00:16:40,647 --> 00:16:42,701
Hiya! Dalia!
402
00:16:43,081 --> 00:16:47,588
Wow. Really looks like your
party is the cat's pajizzles.
403
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:50,105
Yeah.
That'll be $50.
404
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:55,141
Uh, I'm not paying $50
to walk into a wall.
405
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:59,083
♪
406
00:17:00,791 --> 00:17:02,579
Then you can go watch
"Wheel of Fortune" at home.
407
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:05,595
Already DVR'd it, like a boss.
408
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,323
♪
409
00:17:08,373 --> 00:17:10,976
Okay, I'd... like to stay.
410
00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,330
Now I have enough to
pay Lance trance,
411
00:17:14,342 --> 00:17:17,058
and get the tattoo I want
that mommy can't know about.
412
00:17:17,421 --> 00:17:19,079
A tattoo?
413
00:17:19,254 --> 00:17:21,275
I wanted to say it was a bad idea.
414
00:17:21,395 --> 00:17:23,331
I wanted to say that
whatever thorny rose
415
00:17:23,332 --> 00:17:25,749
or sanskrit nonsense she
was leaning towards,
416
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:27,169
she'd surely regret.
417
00:17:27,289 --> 00:17:29,371
But I decided to just say
418
00:17:29,377 --> 00:17:31,773
what any kid my age
would have said...
419
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,170
Cool.
420
00:17:34,858 --> 00:17:36,081
I should have stopped there,
421
00:17:36,082 --> 00:17:37,923
because the next thing I said was...
422
00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:40,757
Throw your food holders in the air!
423
00:17:40,877 --> 00:17:42,646
(Barking)
424
00:17:44,961 --> 00:17:48,533
(Barking rhythmically)
425
00:17:49,146 --> 00:17:50,954
Sometimes, to prove yourself,
426
00:17:51,074 --> 00:17:53,676
you have to be willing to do
something embarrassing. (Amp hums)
427
00:17:53,796 --> 00:17:55,000
♪
428
00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:58,117
♪ My mind's telling me "no" ♪
429
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,213
♪ But my body ♪
430
00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:05,255
♪ My body's telling me "yes" ♪
431
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,402
♪ And I know just what you want ♪
432
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:12,268
♪ And I know just what you need, girl ♪
433
00:18:12,388 --> 00:18:17,110
♪ So, baby, bring your body to me ♪
434
00:18:17,461 --> 00:18:19,494
George, what are you doing?
435
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,579
♪ I'm not foolin' around with you ♪
436
00:18:22,842 --> 00:18:25,858
♪ Oh, baby, my love is true ♪
437
00:18:25,978 --> 00:18:31,132
♪ With you is where I want to be ♪
438
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,455
I'm about to partake in a
5-cheese ravioli here.
439
00:18:34,799 --> 00:18:37,113
♪ Girl, you need someone ♪
440
00:18:38,102 --> 00:18:40,842
♪ Someone like me ♪
441
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:42,637
♪
442
00:18:42,687 --> 00:18:47,017
♪ To satisfy your every need ♪
443
00:18:47,674 --> 00:18:49,726
Ma'am, this is a family restaurant.
444
00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:51,434
Hold up. He's about
to get to the chorus.
445
00:18:51,484 --> 00:18:54,674
♪ I don't see nothin' wrong ♪
446
00:18:55,031 --> 00:18:57,659
♪ With a little bump and grind ♪
447
00:18:57,715 --> 00:19:00,687
♪ I don't see nothin' wrong ♪
448
00:19:00,912 --> 00:19:02,408
♪ No, no, no ♪
449
00:19:02,602 --> 00:19:04,379
Sir, please.
450
00:19:04,616 --> 00:19:06,024
George.
451
00:19:06,224 --> 00:19:08,057
You learned R. Kelly for me.
452
00:19:08,270 --> 00:19:10,960
I would do anything for you, baby.
453
00:19:11,173 --> 00:19:14,445
Except conceptualize a house
for us to grow old in together.
454
00:19:14,495 --> 00:19:15,427
Okay, come on, Dallas,
455
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,292
that house was never even built.
456
00:19:17,348 --> 00:19:18,236
And I don't have to tell you
457
00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:20,676
that there was no happily ever after...
458
00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:22,134
not for me and Alex.
459
00:19:22,403 --> 00:19:24,744
But maybe there could be for us.
460
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,096
I guess there's a part of me that worries
461
00:19:27,102 --> 00:19:28,835
you're never gonna feel
as strongly about me
462
00:19:28,873 --> 00:19:30,562
as you did about her.
463
00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:33,966
And if that's the case,
then maybe I should move on,
464
00:19:34,154 --> 00:19:37,726
find my own happiness inside myself,
465
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:41,136
inside this Italian chain restaurant.
466
00:19:41,173 --> 00:19:43,675
Look, we both led full lives before we met.
467
00:19:43,795 --> 00:19:45,834
You know, we have...
we have kids, we have exes,
468
00:19:46,047 --> 00:19:48,986
we have lots of history that
doesn't involve each other.
469
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:50,946
But every day we spend together...
470
00:19:50,965 --> 00:19:52,385
We're making our own history.
471
00:19:52,505 --> 00:19:53,468
Exactly.
472
00:19:53,588 --> 00:19:55,181
And if there's ever anything I can do
473
00:19:55,182 --> 00:19:57,571
to make you feel more secure,
474
00:19:57,602 --> 00:20:00,323
then tell me, 'cause I take requests.
475
00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:02,901
Oh, I'd like to hear the "Neutron Dance."
476
00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:04,572
Tessa: To move forward,
477
00:20:04,584 --> 00:20:06,749
Dallas and George would have
to build their own history...
478
00:20:07,913 --> 00:20:10,885
(Needle buzzing) and Dalia and I
would have to leave ours in the past.
479
00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:12,386
Mm.
480
00:20:12,668 --> 00:20:14,069
Mm.
481
00:20:14,138 --> 00:20:15,565
Wanna squeeze my hand?
482
00:20:15,685 --> 00:20:17,091
Are you sure?
483
00:20:17,153 --> 00:20:19,418
I know you use those to hold food.
484
00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:21,733
I don't mind.
485
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,344
How does it look?
486
00:20:27,132 --> 00:20:30,128
It looks like Evan's head is
climbing out of your butt crack.
487
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,500
Perfect.
488
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:37,335
(Buzzing continues)
489
00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:43,611
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