1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,875
Hi. I'm comedian Tom Green
with a special one-time offer.
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,325
Say yes now and receive a case
3
00:00:04,450 --> 00:00:06,812
of premium Canadian sausage
for only $39.99.
4
00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:08,247
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
5
00:00:08,372 --> 00:00:10,093
- Yes.
- Magnificent.
6
00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:11,884
Now please enter
your credit card info
7
00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:13,096
using your touch-tone phone.
8
00:00:13,262 --> 00:00:14,887
- And there you have it.
9
00:00:15,012 --> 00:00:17,923
Telecom intelligence
negotiating algorithm,
10
00:00:18,048 --> 00:00:19,102
or "Tina,"
11
00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:20,896
gives callers two offers
12
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,661
in a variety of celebrity voices,
13
00:00:22,786 --> 00:00:24,232
as you just heard.
14
00:00:24,398 --> 00:00:26,899
Tom Green? You should have
got Scott Caan.
15
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,100
Shut up, he's a huge celebrity.
16
00:00:28,225 --> 00:00:29,435
- Whoa, yeah.
- Watch it.
17
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,198
Someone needs to put a muzzle on him,
18
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,200
- 'cause I hate you.
- Uh, real question.
19
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:36,745
If Tina is making the calls,
why are we here?
20
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,277
Well, if Tina doesn't make the sale
21
00:00:38,402 --> 00:00:39,878
within the first two offers, then...
22
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Oh, I get it.
23
00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:42,751
Then we come in and clean bat up.
24
00:00:43,106 --> 00:00:46,852
'Cause this cold machine lacks
the soft touch of a human...
25
00:00:46,977 --> 00:00:50,175
touching a machine.
26
00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:51,635
It lacks human error.
27
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:55,347
And Tina persists
where you would feel intrusive.
28
00:00:55,586 --> 00:00:57,933
Okay, so what's the catch?
29
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,999
Well, if Tina does make the sale
30
00:01:01,124 --> 00:01:03,202
before your assistance is needed,
31
00:01:03,327 --> 00:01:04,815
you don't get the commission.
32
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,338
- Just your hourly.
- What?
33
00:01:06,463 --> 00:01:07,776
Is this a joke?
34
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,486
Uh, you know, I-I get it.
35
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,071
Gonna be less work for us,
36
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,572
and we're still getting paid hourly.
37
00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:13,912
Exactly, thank you, stretch.
38
00:01:14,037 --> 00:01:16,515
No, you don't get it!
39
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,484
This is just the beginning, guys.
40
00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:21,487
All right, if we let
these machines take our jobs,
41
00:01:21,612 --> 00:01:24,623
next... next, they're
gonna take everything.
42
00:01:24,748 --> 00:01:26,725
Okay, Blake, you're overreacting.
43
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,494
Overreacting?
44
00:01:28,619 --> 00:01:31,717
I'm pretty sure that
I'm underreacting right now.
45
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,333
Just imagine a future...
46
00:01:34,458 --> 00:01:36,802
Where robots replace humans,
47
00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:38,571
evolving to be faster, smarter,
48
00:01:38,696 --> 00:01:40,872
and just way more freaking doper.
49
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,909
Where humans become obsolete,
50
00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:46,312
and they're forced
by their ruler, Tina,
51
00:01:46,437 --> 00:01:50,816
to undergo a cyborg surgery
known as orientation.
52
00:01:50,941 --> 00:01:53,419
And it'll only be a matter of time
53
00:01:53,544 --> 00:01:55,551
before they come for us all.
54
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,583
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
55
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,255
Congrats, your bum will soon be
56
00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:11,882
on your very own
Swedish massage chair.
57
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,071
Now please enter
your credit card info
58
00:02:13,196 --> 00:02:14,306
using your touch-tone phone.
59
00:02:14,431 --> 00:02:15,674
- Swedish.
- Wow.
60
00:02:15,799 --> 00:02:16,908
Cool.
61
00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,930
Another sale stolen by Tina.
62
00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:20,557
And another one
of our commission checks
63
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:21,530
stuffed into the pockets
64
00:02:21,655 --> 00:02:24,686
of Tina's real comfortable
cyber wranglers.
65
00:02:24,852 --> 00:02:25,951
Oh, yeah, just face it.
66
00:02:26,076 --> 00:02:28,482
Tom Green is Freddy-got-
finger-raping us all day.
67
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,389
- Yeah.
- Oh, dude, check this out.
68
00:02:30,514 --> 00:02:32,861
Look what I snuck past
the last merry maids sweep.
69
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,404
Thank God.
70
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,282
That huff, huff...
Huffy white heat.
71
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,159
- Huff! Huff!
- Except for it's not hot.
72
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,634
- It's actually very cold, so...
- It's cold.
73
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:43,402
Just be careful with it, all right?
74
00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:45,165
- Pretty cool, I guess.
75
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,201
- Ooh!
76
00:02:46,326 --> 00:02:47,739
- That's crispy.
77
00:02:47,864 --> 00:02:49,275
That's a nimbus cloud in there.
78
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,043
I've actually done so much
of this stuff,
79
00:02:51,168 --> 00:02:52,923
I don't even think it really
affects my brain anymore.
80
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,746
Is that right?
81
00:02:54,871 --> 00:02:56,817
- Hey, but don't hog it all.
82
00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,804
I know it's
gonna sizzle-fry my brain,
83
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,722
but, I'm sorry,
this whole impending doom thing
84
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:01,953
is really getting to me,
so if I could just have
85
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:03,656
a huff of the hot...
uh... The heat?
86
00:03:03,781 --> 00:03:05,977
Well, you know, it's...
87
00:03:06,143 --> 00:03:07,479
Just abandon all hope here.
88
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,860
What the heck?
What'd you do, man?
89
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,190
I didn't do anything.
90
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,430
Mm.
91
00:03:11,555 --> 00:03:13,932
We didn't do anything!
92
00:03:14,057 --> 00:03:16,488
Good. That's the way I like it.
93
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,073
But that's all about to change.
94
00:03:18,362 --> 00:03:21,451
So, you've finally come
95
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:23,703
to have me slave away in your vagina,
96
00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:25,477
as your sex slave.
97
00:03:25,746 --> 00:03:26,778
That's fine.
98
00:03:26,903 --> 00:03:28,314
I'll have sex with you.
99
00:03:28,439 --> 00:03:30,683
But I will never love you, Alice.
100
00:03:30,808 --> 00:03:32,504
I will never love you!
101
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,520
Step aside, you troll.
102
00:03:34,645 --> 00:03:36,054
Troll.
103
00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:38,257
- Yeah, right.
- I'm here for Blake.
104
00:03:38,382 --> 00:03:40,266
Oh, 'cause of his hair?
'Cause you're into trolls?
105
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:42,729
No. Because it's time
for his orientation.
106
00:03:42,854 --> 00:03:43,974
Oh, fuck, sorry.
107
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,851
Alice, please, I haven't
even lived yet, all right?
108
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,478
I didn't even get to try
Carl's Jr.'s CrissCut fries.
109
00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:50,063
- Seriously?
- Yeah, you know.
110
00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:51,314
I'm an onion ring guy.
111
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,692
Montez, Waymond, no! Don't!
112
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:56,403
- Take me instead!
- Yeah, take him instead.
113
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,244
I understand that Tina's
what's best for T.A.C.
114
00:03:58,369 --> 00:03:59,511
and I'm ready.
115
00:03:59,636 --> 00:04:01,780
I'm ready to become...
116
00:04:01,905 --> 00:04:03,785
an Oriental.
117
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,308
No!
118
00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:15,750
Sorry.
119
00:04:16,119 --> 00:04:18,091
Strap him to the table.
120
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,759
I can't be a cyborg, man.
121
00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,803
They don't even have any cool...
they're just idiots.
122
00:04:21,969 --> 00:04:24,436
They just have metal in their brains.
123
00:04:24,561 --> 00:04:26,772
If you had, like, a laser dick,
then, yeah, I'd be a cyborg.
124
00:04:26,897 --> 00:04:28,268
But there's nothing enticing me.
125
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,587
Look, this is what we gotta do.
126
00:04:29,712 --> 00:04:30,709
We gotta go save Ders
127
00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:32,043
and get the hell outta
this hell, all right?
128
00:04:32,168 --> 00:04:33,203
Yeah, where are we gonna go, Blake?
129
00:04:33,328 --> 00:04:34,716
I don't know.
Let's freaking feivel it.
130
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,151
- Let's go west.
- To the ocean?
131
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,416
Sh-yeah, right.
132
00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:39,050
I'm not an ocean dog, okay?
133
00:04:39,175 --> 00:04:41,573
I'm a city cat.
134
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:42,621
All right, fine.
135
00:04:42,746 --> 00:04:45,577
Let me think of another direction.
136
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,661
- East.
- Yes.
137
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,294
Let's head east, to the heartland!
138
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:49,539
- Yeah.
- Vegas.
139
00:04:49,705 --> 00:04:51,249
- Vegas, I love it there!
- Right?
140
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:52,498
There we go.
141
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:53,799
Now, let's ice our brains down,
142
00:04:53,924 --> 00:04:55,301
and formulate
a well-thought-out plan.
143
00:04:55,426 --> 00:04:56,546
- Wait a minute.
144
00:04:56,712 --> 00:04:59,070
- What did you just say?
- Hmm?
145
00:04:59,195 --> 00:05:00,383
Yes, that's it.
146
00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:01,635
The freeze part,
that's what I was thinking.
147
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,475
The freeze part.
Dude, you're a genius!
148
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,096
I don't know.
149
00:05:05,262 --> 00:05:06,412
...using your touch-tone phone.
150
00:05:09,573 --> 00:05:10,894
Yeah.
151
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,217
There we go.
152
00:05:12,342 --> 00:05:13,438
Whoo! Oh! Oh!
153
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:14,687
- Oh, sorry.
- That's okay.
154
00:05:14,812 --> 00:05:16,355
Hey, Adam, what comes after "l"?
155
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,860
- I don't... I...
- Bow!
156
00:05:20,694 --> 00:05:22,093
- Oh.
- Shiz-off!
157
00:05:22,218 --> 00:05:23,729
- Dude!
- Oh, my God!
158
00:05:23,854 --> 00:05:25,698
I'm so excited about this.
We could... okay.
159
00:05:25,823 --> 00:05:27,285
- We could die doing this.
- Great, let's save Ders.
160
00:05:27,451 --> 00:05:30,101
We could die, this is exciting.
161
00:05:30,226 --> 00:05:31,770
I think we're good now. Ooh!
162
00:05:31,895 --> 00:05:33,583
- Blake! Adam!
- Shut up.
163
00:05:33,749 --> 00:05:34,840
- Shh, shh.
- We're getting out of here.
164
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:36,044
Take us with you!
Take us with you, man!
165
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,338
- Yeah, save us.
- No, sorry, we can't.
166
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,846
Yeah, but, um,
we're always gonna remember you,
167
00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:42,133
and we'll never forget you, so...
168
00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:43,415
Take this yo-yo.
169
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:46,054
It belonged to my father.
170
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,387
Television set.
171
00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:49,933
Give it to your sons.
172
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,189
Very cool.
Cool yo-yo.
173
00:05:51,314 --> 00:05:52,624
Thank you, I'm gonna treasure this.
174
00:05:52,749 --> 00:05:54,437
- Don't go.
- Yep.
175
00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:55,826
Guys, please don't leave us, okay?
176
00:05:55,951 --> 00:05:57,607
I cannot survive in here.
177
00:05:57,773 --> 00:05:59,398
All right, I-I love you, Jet Set.
178
00:05:59,523 --> 00:06:01,600
But he shit all over the walls.
179
00:06:01,725 --> 00:06:03,535
- And I can't... this smell...
- You pooped on the walls?
180
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:06,238
- I couldn't hold it no more.
- I can smell it now.
181
00:06:06,363 --> 00:06:08,451
- I smell poo.
182
00:06:08,617 --> 00:06:09,703
I'm sorry, guys,
we'll come back for you.
183
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,496
We gotta go.
184
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,580
- Oh.
185
00:06:14,705 --> 00:06:16,882
It's okay.
186
00:06:17,007 --> 00:06:19,485
Relax, Holmvik.
187
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,923
Once you've been oriented,
188
00:06:22,089 --> 00:06:24,790
all the fear, the emotions,
189
00:06:24,915 --> 00:06:26,425
they just disappear.
190
00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:28,460
Then why don't you try it?
191
00:06:28,585 --> 00:06:30,629
Because I run Telamericorp,
192
00:06:30,754 --> 00:06:33,499
and Tina answers to me.
193
00:06:33,624 --> 00:06:35,634
Prep the patient.
194
00:06:35,759 --> 00:06:36,855
What?
195
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,136
What are you doing?
196
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:40,358
What? No!
Oh, no!
197
00:06:40,524 --> 00:06:42,641
You're changing the molecular
structure of my flesh!
198
00:06:42,766 --> 00:06:44,321
Please don't!
199
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,011
No, we're just shaving your body.
200
00:06:46,136 --> 00:06:47,212
Oh.
201
00:06:47,337 --> 00:06:48,450
Okay.
202
00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:49,748
Been there, done that.
203
00:06:49,873 --> 00:06:51,316
Spa day.
204
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,069
{pub}So, once we get to Vegas,
205
00:07:03,194 --> 00:07:04,723
thinking about doing
a Cirque Du Soleil show
206
00:07:04,848 --> 00:07:05,606
based on the music of Nelly.
207
00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:07,941
- Wait a minute.
- What?
208
00:07:08,066 --> 00:07:10,341
I mean, if Murphy Lee
and the St. Lunatics
209
00:07:10,466 --> 00:07:11,624
want to be involved, that's fine.
210
00:07:11,749 --> 00:07:13,886
But it's really...
it's Nelly's show.
211
00:07:14,011 --> 00:07:15,518
Tina's mainframe.
212
00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:17,818
That's where
the lifeblood's generated.
213
00:07:17,943 --> 00:07:19,019
Destroying the mainframe
214
00:07:19,144 --> 00:07:20,387
would wipe out the mind control
215
00:07:20,512 --> 00:07:21,655
of everybody who's been
oriented-tated.
216
00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:22,942
Very cool.
217
00:07:23,108 --> 00:07:24,458
We can't get in there, though,
218
00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:26,284
because we don't have
Alice's collar key.
219
00:07:26,409 --> 00:07:27,728
So let's just focus
on what I'm saying, okay?
220
00:07:27,853 --> 00:07:29,629
Let's go get Ders.
221
00:07:29,754 --> 00:07:30,992
Do you have air force ones?
'Cause you're gonna need those.
222
00:07:31,158 --> 00:07:33,661
Um, I have G Unit sneakers.
223
00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:36,164
Once ingested,
this probe will map your body,
224
00:07:36,428 --> 00:07:38,372
and we can begin the implant process,
225
00:07:38,497 --> 00:07:42,003
orienting you to Tina's mainframe.
226
00:07:47,174 --> 00:07:48,674
Yeah.
227
00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,762
Don't worry, you'll pass it soon.
228
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,180
TMI.
229
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:55,022
Position
the optical excavation device.
230
00:07:55,147 --> 00:07:57,457
Time to scoop out
them eyeballs, stretch.
231
00:08:00,019 --> 00:08:02,565
No!
232
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:05,766
No! No, no, no!
233
00:08:05,891 --> 00:08:07,902
Watch eyes! Watch eyes!
Waymond, please, please!
234
00:08:08,027 --> 00:08:09,572
I know you can hear me!
Tell her to stop!
235
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,658
Don't let her do this!
236
00:08:13,232 --> 00:08:15,703
Good thing yo-yo strings
are long as hell in the future.
237
00:08:15,869 --> 00:08:16,871
- Whoop!
238
00:08:17,037 --> 00:08:18,623
Just what do you think you're doing?
239
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:19,999
We're escaping to Vegas.
240
00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:21,581
Unless you want me
to be your sex puppet.
241
00:08:21,706 --> 00:08:23,711
Put your hand up my ass,
make me talk.
242
00:08:23,877 --> 00:08:24,879
Come on, let's get out
of here! Let's go!
243
00:08:25,344 --> 00:08:26,423
Let's move! Let's move!
Let's move!
244
00:08:26,945 --> 00:08:29,056
Oh, yeah, and, Alice...
245
00:08:29,181 --> 00:08:31,392
- We quit.
- Yeah.
246
00:08:31,517 --> 00:08:32,637
Yeah, we quit.
247
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,306
Come on! Hup!
248
00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:37,559
After them now!
249
00:08:40,192 --> 00:08:41,479
Damn it.
250
00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:43,203
I am not running after them
in these heels.
251
00:08:43,328 --> 00:08:44,972
Let's head back to the office.
252
00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:46,573
We'll activate
the probe's tracking signal,
253
00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:47,942
and then we'll trigger
the defense mech,
254
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,576
in case they try to discharge.
255
00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:51,239
Damn it.
256
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,782
What are they talking about?
257
00:08:52,948 --> 00:08:55,349
They fed me this probe thing.
258
00:08:55,474 --> 00:08:57,051
Oh, my God.
259
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,290
I can feel it. Oh.
260
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,914
Oh, God!
261
00:09:02,039 --> 00:09:03,390
It's too late to abort it,
262
00:09:03,515 --> 00:09:04,858
which is exactly what my mom used
263
00:09:04,983 --> 00:09:06,793
to say about me.
264
00:09:06,918 --> 00:09:08,333
I'm gonna have to murder you.
I'm gonna have to murder him.
265
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,008
- No, Adam, no...
- Wait, wait...
266
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,199
He's not Oriental ot Orient.
267
00:09:11,324 --> 00:09:12,135
Look at his eyes.
268
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,345
You could tell he's Oriental
by his eyes.
269
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:16,181
But we do got
to get that probe out of him.
270
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:21,603
- Oh.
- Oh, God. Ooh.
271
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,021
I think I know how to get it out.
272
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,397
- Huh? What?
- How?
273
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,613
- What are you...
- What are you doing?
274
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:27,817
Yeah.
275
00:09:27,983 --> 00:09:29,736
Tracker on.
276
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,071
Get to the supply closet now!
277
00:09:33,612 --> 00:09:36,034
Defense mech armed.
278
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,161
- You hear that? I'm beeping.
279
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:39,659
- Yeah, get it out, Ders.
- Get it out.
280
00:09:39,784 --> 00:09:40,747
- Can you hear it?
- Stop playing.
281
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,373
I could kill him,
I could still kill him.
282
00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:45,210
Yeah, man, this is an option.
283
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,500
Oh, look.
284
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:50,471
Oh, my God, it's a tapeworm!
285
00:09:50,596 --> 00:09:52,606
I've had one of those.
17 feet long.
286
00:09:52,731 --> 00:09:54,541
Doctor told me I had
to quit eating raw ground beef.
287
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:55,845
Which I did.
288
00:09:56,011 --> 00:09:57,111
For a while.
289
00:09:57,236 --> 00:09:58,312
It's not a tapeworm!
290
00:09:58,437 --> 00:10:00,114
It's the thing!
Obviously.
291
00:10:00,239 --> 00:10:01,882
- Yes, obviously.
- Right, totally.
292
00:10:02,007 --> 00:10:03,350
Come over here,
and help me get it out.
293
00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:06,239
- Keep pulling it out of your ass.
- All right, you're okay.
294
00:10:06,364 --> 00:10:08,441
- I think you... you got this.
- All right, uh...
295
00:10:10,048 --> 00:10:12,237
All right, here we go.
296
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:13,860
- Okay.
- Oh, wait, no, no, no.
297
00:10:13,985 --> 00:10:15,162
- Not a pretty view.
- Slow down, slow down.
298
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:16,796
I think something's coming.
299
00:10:16,921 --> 00:10:18,595
Oh, yeah, no, that's it.
That's the probe.
300
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:19,833
I see something.
301
00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,935
Yep, yep.
Oh, here we go!
302
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,706
- We got some lights.
303
00:10:23,872 --> 00:10:25,239
Oh!
304
00:10:25,364 --> 00:10:26,473
- Oh!
- Ooh!
305
00:10:26,598 --> 00:10:28,521
We got it!
Destroy it, Adam!
306
00:10:28,646 --> 00:10:29,976
- Destroy it.
- Yep.
307
00:10:30,101 --> 00:10:31,512
Okay.
308
00:10:31,637 --> 00:10:32,779
- You get it?
- Yeah.
309
00:10:32,904 --> 00:10:34,081
No, I hear it.
310
00:10:34,206 --> 00:10:35,649
It's still beeping inside of me.
311
00:10:35,774 --> 00:10:37,178
We're not done, guys,
it's still in there!
312
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:38,919
To the left, hurry!
313
00:10:39,044 --> 00:10:40,454
And bring them back alive.
314
00:10:40,579 --> 00:10:41,975
Barely.
315
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,690
- Yep.
- It's still in there.
316
00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:45,159
It's still in there.
Okay, okay.
317
00:10:45,284 --> 00:10:46,521
Round two, here we go.
318
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,231
- Yeah, no.
319
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,896
You got it.
Keep it up.
320
00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:51,276
Good work.
321
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,944
Yep, I got it snagged.
322
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,659
- Oh!
- Boy! Yikes!
323
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,108
Yes, you're gonna have
a case of "the hemmies"
324
00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:02,370
after this one.
325
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:03,544
Fissures and hemmies.
326
00:11:03,669 --> 00:11:05,081
You might never poop again, dude.
327
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,580
Which would suck for me,
I love pooping.
328
00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:08,626
It's, like, where I get most
of my reading done.
329
00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:11,671
Great. You've got them cornered.
330
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,423
You know what?
331
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,721
Kill 'em.
332
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,328
No, guys...
guys, stop!
333
00:11:16,453 --> 00:11:17,302
Stop, okay?
334
00:11:17,716 --> 00:11:19,326
I'll just be a cyborg.
Forget it, all right?
335
00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:21,889
Just stop pulling things out
of my ass!
336
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:23,433
Okay, I'll help.
337
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,234
- Oh!
- There it is! There it is!
338
00:11:27,359 --> 00:11:29,035
Oh! Oh!
339
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,471
Break it!
Hurry.
340
00:11:30,596 --> 00:11:31,838
Break it and destroy it!
341
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:33,860
Come on!
342
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,121
Okay, it's indestructible.
343
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:36,643
Don't we have, like, a steamroller
344
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:38,178
or, like, lava or...
345
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,480
What do we do?
346
00:11:42,659 --> 00:11:44,184
Wait, what are you doing, you idiots?
347
00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:45,685
Finish them!
348
00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:48,388
They're heading down
the South hallway.
349
00:11:48,665 --> 00:11:50,324
They're
heading towards my office!
350
00:11:50,449 --> 00:11:51,628
Wait, they're coming for me!
351
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,005
Get here now!
352
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:20,155
{pub}Damn it!
It's Bill.
353
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,857
We're not getting past him.
354
00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:22,867
He's so deadly.
Look at him.
355
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,383
Ow!
356
00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:28,063
Um, mirrors.
357
00:12:29,389 --> 00:12:30,416
If we can find several mirrors...
358
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:31,959
Shh, Adam.
Trying to come up
359
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:33,294
- with an idea here.
- Dude!
360
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,922
Hey, have you guys seen Kill Bill?
361
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,632
Volume one or two?
362
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,759
Volume now.
363
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,238
Aah!
364
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,189
I got him!
365
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,108
- Bill!
- No!
366
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:56,651
- Oh, sheesh.
- Ugh.
367
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,319
All right.
368
00:12:58,485 --> 00:13:00,129
Bill! No!
369
00:13:01,738 --> 00:13:03,098
Adam, you can't kill them!
370
00:13:03,223 --> 00:13:04,325
Bill, he's still in there.
371
00:13:04,491 --> 00:13:05,567
He's just under mind control.
372
00:13:05,692 --> 00:13:06,902
- Yeah.
- Oh, I thought he...
373
00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:08,329
I thought he was like an evil robot.
374
00:13:08,495 --> 00:13:09,471
No! Oh!
375
00:13:09,596 --> 00:13:11,106
You didn't know.
He didn't know.
376
00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:13,375
Cyborgs are totally different
than evil robots, okay?
377
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,477
- Think of Robocop, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
378
00:13:15,602 --> 00:13:17,255
He would have those flashbacks
to when he was a man.
379
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,481
Oh, so he's actually...
he's half-human.
380
00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,092
- Yes, he's still human.
- I killed a human!
381
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,552
- You killed a human, dude.
- Oh, my gosh.
382
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,721
- Oh, sorry, Bill.
- Yeah.
383
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,655
Okay, we hop over the fence.
384
00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:28,356
Hop on a plane, if they still exist,
385
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:31,026
and be the kings
of the Las Vegas strap.
386
00:13:31,151 --> 00:13:32,594
Attention, Jillian and Jet Set,
387
00:13:32,719 --> 00:13:34,720
prepare for orientation.
388
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,431
Your time is now.
389
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:37,566
Jet and Jill.
390
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,101
You guys, we got to do something.
391
00:13:39,226 --> 00:13:40,402
I know what they're about
to go through.
392
00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:41,603
Uh-uh, no.
393
00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:42,938
This is a trap.
This is trickery!
394
00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:44,206
This is Tomfoolery!
395
00:13:44,331 --> 00:13:45,440
Let's go to Vegas!
396
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:47,943
Vegas!
397
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:49,411
No, don't you see?
398
00:13:49,536 --> 00:13:51,346
This isn't
just about saving those guys.
399
00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:54,116
It's about taking back Telamericorp.
400
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:56,919
Reclaiming the company
that gave us nothing.
401
00:13:57,044 --> 00:14:00,622
It's a dirty job, but...
Somebody's gotta Mike Rowe it.
402
00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:01,957
Hey, Blake?
403
00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:02,717
Huh?
404
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,760
Fuck yo speech! Whoo!
405
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,637
- You had to say that.
- Vegas!
406
00:14:06,803 --> 00:14:08,903
No! Aah!
407
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,433
Help!
408
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,101
Adam, I got you!
409
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:19,007
Oh, I gotta...
I gotta get a gif of this!
410
00:14:19,132 --> 00:14:20,818
- Ders... Get... Us... Off!
411
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:23,112
Okay, all right.
412
00:14:23,278 --> 00:14:26,448
Ders, get me off!
413
00:14:29,343 --> 00:14:31,153
- Oh, my God!
- You think that was funny?
414
00:14:31,278 --> 00:14:32,454
- I'm sorry.
- You think that was...
415
00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:33,622
- let me see it!
- I'm...
416
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,081
- let me see it!
- Sorry.
417
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,191
Aah!
418
00:14:36,316 --> 00:14:37,626
Oh, this is funny.
419
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:39,128
- Huh?
- This is actually really funny.
420
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,671
- It's pretty funny, right?
- That was good.
421
00:14:40,837 --> 00:14:41,930
- Thank you.
- Okay, all right.
422
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,331
Let's go back and save the day!
423
00:14:43,456 --> 00:14:44,926
End tyranny!
424
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,268
Find the switch for the fence!
425
00:14:46,393 --> 00:14:48,304
Oh, I got a boner for some reason.
426
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,872
All right, now we find Alice,
427
00:14:49,997 --> 00:14:51,173
and we force her to free the people.
428
00:14:51,298 --> 00:14:52,683
- Yep.
- Or...
429
00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:56,646
She forces me to fuck her
or whatever, huh?
430
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:57,946
No, Adam, we have to stop her, okay?
431
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:58,940
This ends now.
Come on, let's do this.
432
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:00,649
Yes, that's a better plan than mine.
433
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,610
Oh, damn.
Jillian's a fembot.
434
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,552
- Really?
- Oh, they all are.
435
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:05,988
Knuckle up, motherfuggers.
436
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,289
- Mm, yeah.
- Why do you have that?
437
00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:08,699
- Yeah.
- Huh? 'Cause.
438
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:10,192
- 'Cause why?
- Why?
439
00:15:10,317 --> 00:15:11,410
- It was in my butt, dude.
- That was in his anus.
440
00:15:11,576 --> 00:15:13,829
To study...
Because the, um...
441
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,331
Just go fight your one,
already, please.
442
00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:18,533
- Yeah, go, you got him.
- All right, wish me luck.
443
00:15:18,658 --> 00:15:20,253
- Good luck.
- Whoo!
444
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,940
Whoa.
Whoo!
445
00:15:25,065 --> 00:15:26,641
You are a bitch, cyborg Montez!
446
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:27,969
You are a bitch!
447
00:15:29,636 --> 00:15:30,471
Sorry, Jet Set!
448
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:31,889
- Yeah!
- Oh!
449
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:37,752
- Oh, was that a roundhouse?
- You know it.
450
00:15:37,877 --> 00:15:39,387
Whatever happened
to roundhouses, dude?
451
00:15:40,914 --> 00:15:42,859
I don't wanna do this, Jillian.
452
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,027
- Oh!
- Whoa.
453
00:15:45,193 --> 00:15:47,613
- Oh!
- Blake, stop messing around!
454
00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:48,864
I'm not messing around.
455
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,783
She's crushing my testicles.
456
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,327
Ow!
Oh, oh.
457
00:15:53,493 --> 00:15:57,123
Let's see if I can crush
her testicles.
458
00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:06,094
Oh!
459
00:16:06,631 --> 00:16:08,593
Oh!
Oh, ow.
460
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,011
Swim dive!
461
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:11,387
Yeah... oh!
462
00:16:13,113 --> 00:16:15,600
Guys!
The xerox machine.
463
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:16,851
Copy that.
464
00:16:18,918 --> 00:16:21,439
Attack!
Now! Eww, oh!
465
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:24,032
Come on, Demamp!
466
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,901
Triple dude attack!
467
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,237
Oh!
468
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,038
Oh, nice.
Come on, let's go!
469
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,074
- All right.
- Oh.
470
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,713
Oh, hi.
471
00:16:38,838 --> 00:16:40,415
Sorry, I was just...
472
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,584
I was just eating.
473
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,091
{pub}All you had to do was
go through orientation.
474
00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:52,043
But no, you had to cause problems.
475
00:16:52,168 --> 00:16:55,973
Yeah, 'cause "cause problems"
is my middle name.
476
00:16:56,139 --> 00:16:57,849
Yeah!
And being a cyborg?
477
00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,385
Well, that's overrated.
478
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,219
And that's something
I never thought I'd say.
479
00:17:01,344 --> 00:17:04,106
And we're here to put an end
to the reign of Tina.
480
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:06,609
Good luck with that, stretch.
481
00:17:09,453 --> 00:17:11,447
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
482
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,399
Tom Green!
Wow, really big fan.
483
00:17:13,524 --> 00:17:14,742
- Really big fan.
- I'm a huge fan.
484
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:17,569
My bum is on the cheese.
485
00:17:17,694 --> 00:17:19,538
- My bum is on the cheese.
- Cyber Tom Green,
486
00:17:19,704 --> 00:17:22,083
that's... that's awesome,
but you need to shut it down.
487
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,584
- Yeah.
- Because soon enough,
488
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:24,876
the cyborgs,
they're gonna come for you.
489
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:26,779
These machines would die for me,
490
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:30,582
because they need me to survive.
491
00:17:30,707 --> 00:17:32,884
Oh, what, do you have
a problem with that?
492
00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:35,179
Kill them already.
493
00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:41,824
Oh!
494
00:17:43,608 --> 00:17:45,494
- Swedish?
- Something happened.
495
00:17:45,619 --> 00:17:47,775
The machines!
They're taking over!
496
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,485
- Now what are you doing?
- The key card!
497
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,237
We've gotta get to the mainframe!
498
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,364
Screw it!
499
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,981
Poor Alice,
she's never gonna bang me.
500
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,044
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
501
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,205
Daddy, would you like some sausages?
502
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,207
Sausages! Sausages!
503
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,084
Get in and barricade the door!
Barricade the door!
504
00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:11,523
'sup, Tina?
You naughty little computer.
505
00:18:11,648 --> 00:18:13,384
Oh, I'm gonna drain you.
506
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:16,220
I'm gonna drain you good.
507
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,889
- Come on!
508
00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:20,266
- Shut her down, Demamp!
- There it is!
509
00:18:20,491 --> 00:18:22,018
We can't hold him much longer!
510
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,102
I'm trying!
It's much harder than it looks!
511
00:18:24,227 --> 00:18:26,981
All right, well...
try a "come hither" motion.
512
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:29,074
Oh, I'm "hithering."
Oh, I'm "hithering," baby!
513
00:18:29,199 --> 00:18:30,275
"Hither" harder!
514
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:34,112
Come on!
You come for me!
515
00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:35,364
Oh!
516
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,682
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
517
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:38,370
Please, not my face!
518
00:18:38,495 --> 00:18:40,327
- Uh, something's happening.
- Something good?
519
00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:44,189
Something... Beautiful!
520
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:48,475
Oh!
521
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:55,384
Oh, come on!
Oh, oh, oh.
522
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,098
Hey, uh, it's...
it's way over.
523
00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:02,340
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it's...
524
00:19:02,465 --> 00:19:03,517
- yeah, we did it?
- Yeah.
525
00:19:03,683 --> 00:19:05,310
You got him.
526
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,946
Oh, no!
Oh, my God!
527
00:19:08,071 --> 00:19:10,315
We killed my hero.
528
00:19:11,742 --> 00:19:12,943
Jeez!
529
00:19:13,176 --> 00:19:15,487
Where am I?
530
00:19:15,612 --> 00:19:18,115
- I don't remember anything.
- Well, uh...
531
00:19:18,281 --> 00:19:19,591
- Well, you were a robot...
- Yeah.
532
00:19:19,716 --> 00:19:20,859
And then now you're...
533
00:19:20,984 --> 00:19:22,328
you're just normal-ass Tom Green,
534
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,729
- which is pretty cool.
- Cyborg.
535
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:24,955
Yeah, and actually...
536
00:19:25,188 --> 00:19:26,532
We are your childhood friends.
537
00:19:26,657 --> 00:19:27,900
- So...
- Yep.
538
00:19:28,025 --> 00:19:29,234
- Like, your best friends.
- Welcome back.
539
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,069
- Yeah.
- What's up, buddy?
540
00:19:31,194 --> 00:19:33,380
- Thanks, guys.
- Yeah, we do what we have to.
541
00:19:33,546 --> 00:19:35,372
- Thanks, guys.
- Hey! They're okay!
542
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:38,811
Uh-huh.
543
00:19:38,936 --> 00:19:40,221
Oh, my God.
We're heroes!
544
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,414
Well, uh, I don't know about that.
545
00:19:42,539 --> 00:19:44,450
- We... we killed Bill, actually.
- Yes.
546
00:19:44,575 --> 00:19:46,418
Very sorry about that.
I did kill Bill.
547
00:19:46,543 --> 00:19:47,645
- Murdered.
- That was my bad.
548
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,938
I murdered him.
549
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,557
I actually hope he's banging
Alice's dead body in the afterlife.
550
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,065
"Bang dead Alice"?
551
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:03,369
- Oh, um... I meant...
- You know what?
552
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,371
Shut up, okay?
Honestly, I think that was
553
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,540
the dumbest story I have ever heard.
554
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,500
I can't believe you let him
tell it for so long.
555
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,477
This is just a prototype
for a pilot program.
556
00:20:11,602 --> 00:20:12,678
We're not gonna
be implementing anything
557
00:20:12,803 --> 00:20:14,947
- for, like, another year.
- Oh!
558
00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:16,348
Well, you should have
said that right away.
559
00:20:16,473 --> 00:20:17,583
Yeah, we're gonna quit by then.
560
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:18,968
We'll probably be dead by then.
561
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,986
Please, let's just get back
to the phones, now.
562
00:20:21,111 --> 00:20:22,888
- All right.
- All right, I swear to God...
563
00:20:23,113 --> 00:20:24,356
- Dude, I gotta try that!
- Right? That's got to...
564
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,594
Do not know.
565
00:20:28,719 --> 00:20:30,437
Jillian, are you okay?
566
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:33,098
- Somebody call 911!
- Are you choking?
567
00:20:33,223 --> 00:20:35,033
Get out of the way!
568
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,528
Blake!
569
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,237
- Help her!
- I don't know what to do!
570
00:20:39,362 --> 00:20:41,907
- Somebody help!
- Oh! Oh, God!
571
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,701
- Aah! Aah!
572
00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:52,209
All right, enough!
573
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,712
God, Blake, do you ever shut up?
574
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:58,716
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com