1
00:00:01,048 --> 00:00:03,950
Hi. I'm comedian Tom Green
with a special one-time offer.
2
00:00:03,977 --> 00:00:05,302
Say yes now and receive a case
3
00:00:05,333 --> 00:00:07,844
of premium Canadian sausage
for only $39.99.
4
00:00:07,868 --> 00:00:09,430
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
5
00:00:09,474 --> 00:00:11,388
- Yes.
- Magnificent.
6
00:00:11,407 --> 00:00:14,202
Now please enter your credit card info
using your touch-tone phone.
7
00:00:14,837 --> 00:00:16,308
And there you have it.
8
00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:20,200
Telecom intelligence negotiating
algorithm, or "Tina,"
9
00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:23,983
gives callers two offers in a
variety of celebrity voices,
10
00:00:24,002 --> 00:00:25,114
as you just heard.
11
00:00:25,137 --> 00:00:28,008
Tom Green? You should have
got Scott Caan.
12
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- Shut up, he's a huge celebrity.
- Whoa, watch it. Yeah.
13
00:00:30,025 --> 00:00:31,780
Someone needs to put a muzzle on him,
14
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:34,132
- 'cause I hate you.
- Uh, real question.
15
00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:37,633
If Tina is making the calls,
why are we here?
16
00:00:37,664 --> 00:00:40,881
Well, if Tina doesn't make the sale
within the first two offers, then...
17
00:00:40,906 --> 00:00:42,094
Oh, I get it.
18
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,915
Then we come in and clean bat up.
19
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'Cause this cold machine lacks
the soft touch of a human...
20
00:00:48,073 --> 00:00:50,721
touching a machine.
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00:00:51,044 --> 00:00:52,812
It lacks human error.
22
00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:56,514
And Tina persists
where you would feel intrusive.
23
00:00:56,544 --> 00:00:59,135
Okay, so what's the catch?
24
00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:02,242
Well, if Tina does make the sale
25
00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:04,629
before your assistance is needed,
26
00:01:04,785 --> 00:01:06,166
you don't get the commission.
27
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- Just your hourly.
- What?
28
00:01:07,665 --> 00:01:08,949
Is this a joke?
29
00:01:08,973 --> 00:01:10,716
Uh, you know, I-I get it.
30
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Gonna be less work for us,
and we're still getting paid hourly.
31
00:01:13,358 --> 00:01:14,954
Exactly, thank you, stretch.
32
00:01:15,002 --> 00:01:17,268
No, you don't get it!
33
00:01:17,692 --> 00:01:19,536
This is just the beginning, guys.
34
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:22,783
All right, if we let
these machines take our jobs,
35
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:25,831
next... next, they're
gonna take everything.
36
00:01:25,862 --> 00:01:28,208
Okay, Blake, you're overreacting.
37
00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:29,481
Overreacting?
38
00:01:29,515 --> 00:01:32,613
I'm pretty sure that
I'm underreacting right now.
39
00:01:33,365 --> 00:01:35,480
Just imagine a future...
40
00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:37,600
Where robots replace humans,
41
00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:42,384
evolving to be faster, smarter,
and just way more freaking doper.
42
00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:44,928
Where humans become obsolete,
43
00:01:44,952 --> 00:01:47,400
and they're forced
by their ruler, Tina,
44
00:01:47,476 --> 00:01:51,578
to undergo a cyborg surgery
known as orientation.
45
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:54,328
And it'll only be a matter of time
46
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:56,548
before they come for us all.
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00:02:04,335 --> 00:02:08,335
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for DEMAND by antibio
48
00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:12,734
Congrats, your bum will soon be on your
very own Swedish massage chair.
49
00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:14,168
Now please enter
your credit card info
50
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,283
using your touch-tone phone.
51
00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:16,901
- Swedish.
- Wow.
52
00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:18,035
Cool.
53
00:02:18,078 --> 00:02:20,058
Another sale stolen by Tina.
54
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:22,406
And another one of our commission
checks stuffed into the pockets
55
00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:25,194
of Tina's real comfortable
cyber wranglers.
56
00:02:25,207 --> 00:02:26,377
Oh, yeah, just face it.
57
00:02:26,389 --> 00:02:29,618
Tom Green is Freddy-got-
finger-raping us all day.
58
00:02:29,631 --> 00:02:31,685
- Yeah.
- Oh, dude, check this out.
59
00:02:31,872 --> 00:02:33,812
Look what I snuck past
the last merry maids sweep.
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00:02:33,842 --> 00:02:35,501
Thank God.
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00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:38,456
That huff, huff...
Huffy white heat.
62
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,851
- Huff! Huff!
- Except for it's not hot.
63
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,979
- It's actually very cold, so...
- It's cold.
64
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:44,703
Just be careful with it, all right?
65
00:02:45,453 --> 00:02:46,531
- Pretty cool, I guess.
- Yeah.
66
00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:47,774
- Ooh!
67
00:02:47,811 --> 00:02:50,489
- That's crispy.
- That's a nimbus cloud in there.
68
00:02:50,508 --> 00:02:51,944
I've actually done so much
of this stuff,
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00:02:51,975 --> 00:02:53,899
I don't even think it really
affects my brain anymore.
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00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:55,724
Is that right?
71
00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,211
Hey, but don't hog it all.
72
00:02:58,223 --> 00:02:59,594
I know it's
gonna sizzle-fry my brain,
73
00:02:59,619 --> 00:03:01,650
but, I'm sorry,
this whole impending doom thing
74
00:03:01,672 --> 00:03:03,219
is really getting to me,
so if I could just have
75
00:03:03,244 --> 00:03:05,012
a huff of the hot...
uh... The heat?
76
00:03:05,048 --> 00:03:06,498
Well, you know, it's...
77
00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:08,579
Just abandon all hope here.
78
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,494
- What the heck? What'd you do, man?
- I didn't do anything.
79
00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:12,582
Mm.
80
00:03:13,214 --> 00:03:15,164
We didn't do anything!
81
00:03:15,189 --> 00:03:17,572
Good. That's the way I like it.
82
00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:19,436
But that's all about to change.
83
00:03:19,664 --> 00:03:22,074
So, you've finally come
84
00:03:22,086 --> 00:03:24,929
to have me slave away in your vagina,
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00:03:24,958 --> 00:03:26,566
as your sex slave.
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That's fine.
87
00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:29,587
I'll have sex with you.
88
00:03:29,648 --> 00:03:31,892
But I will never love you, Alice.
89
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:33,579
I will never love you!
90
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,516
Step aside, you troll.
91
00:03:35,553 --> 00:03:37,089
Oh, good one: Troll.
92
00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:39,518
- Yeah, right.
- I'm here for Blake.
93
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,291
Oh, 'cause of his hair?
'Cause you're into trolls?
94
00:03:41,316 --> 00:03:43,914
No. Because it's time
for his orientation.
95
00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:44,933
Oh, fuck, sorry.
96
00:03:44,939 --> 00:03:47,194
Alice, please, I haven't
even lived yet, all right?
97
00:03:47,219 --> 00:03:49,834
I didn't even get to try
Carl's Jr.'s CrissCut fries.
98
00:03:49,845 --> 00:03:52,531
- Seriously?
- Yeah, you know. I'm an onion ring guy.
99
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,167
Montez, Waymond, no! Don't!
100
00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:57,098
- Take me instead!
- Yeah, take him instead.
101
00:03:57,122 --> 00:03:59,193
I understand that Tina's
what's best for T.A.C.
102
00:03:59,214 --> 00:04:00,548
and I'm ready.
103
00:04:00,885 --> 00:04:02,748
I'm ready to become...
104
00:04:03,051 --> 00:04:04,642
an Oriental.
105
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,604
No!
106
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,563
Sorry.
107
00:04:17,689 --> 00:04:19,060
Strap him to the table.
108
00:04:19,078 --> 00:04:20,742
I can't be a cyborg, man.
109
00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:23,069
They don't even have any cool...
they're just idiots.
110
00:04:23,156 --> 00:04:25,546
They just have metal in their brains.
111
00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:28,151
If you had, like, a laser dick,
then, yeah, I'd be a cyborg.
112
00:04:28,163 --> 00:04:29,585
But there's nothing enticing me.
113
00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:31,607
Look, this is what we gotta do.
We gotta go save Ders
114
00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,027
and get the hell outta
this hell, all right?
115
00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:34,277
Yeah, where are we gonna go, Blake?
116
00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:35,654
I don't know.
Let's freaking feivel it.
117
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,135
- Let's go west.
- To the ocean?
118
00:04:37,154 --> 00:04:38,748
Sh-yeah, right.
119
00:04:38,805 --> 00:04:40,096
I'm not an ocean dog, okay?
120
00:04:40,115 --> 00:04:41,499
I'm a city cat.
121
00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:44,892
All right, fine.
Let me think of another direction.
122
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:47,745
- East.
- Yes.
123
00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:49,228
Let's head east, to the heartland!
124
00:04:49,259 --> 00:04:50,603
- Yeah.
- Vegas.
125
00:04:50,628 --> 00:04:52,322
- Vegas, I love it there!
- Right?
126
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,463
There we go.
127
00:04:53,643 --> 00:04:55,028
Now, let's ice our brains down,
128
00:04:55,047 --> 00:04:56,698
and formulate
a well-thought-out plan.
129
00:04:56,711 --> 00:04:57,599
Wait a minute.
130
00:04:57,620 --> 00:05:00,259
- What did you just say?
- Hmm?
131
00:05:00,278 --> 00:05:01,520
Yes, that's it.
132
00:05:01,544 --> 00:05:02,917
The freeze part,
that's what I was thinking.
133
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,727
The freeze part.
Dude, you're a genius!
134
00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:06,434
I don't know.
135
00:05:06,463 --> 00:05:07,748
...using your touch-tone phone.
136
00:05:11,056 --> 00:05:11,972
Yeah.
137
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,441
There we go.
138
00:05:13,475 --> 00:05:14,777
Whoo! Oh! Oh!
139
00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:15,885
- Oh, sorry.
- That's okay.
140
00:05:15,907 --> 00:05:17,934
Hey, Adam, what comes after "l"?
141
00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:19,748
- I don't... I...
- Bow!
142
00:05:22,084 --> 00:05:23,226
- Oh.
- Shiz-off!
143
00:05:23,238 --> 00:05:24,299
- Dude!
- Oh, my God!
144
00:05:24,317 --> 00:05:26,643
I'm so excited about this.
We could... okay.
145
00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:28,577
- We could die doing this.
- Great, let's save Ders.
146
00:05:28,877 --> 00:05:31,013
We could die, this is exciting.
147
00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:33,175
I think we're good now. Ooh!
148
00:05:33,205 --> 00:05:34,724
- Blake! Adam!
- Shut up.
149
00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:36,008
- Shh, shh.
- We're getting out of here.
150
00:05:36,026 --> 00:05:37,518
Take us with you!
Take us with you, man!
151
00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:39,511
- Yeah, save us.
- No, sorry, we can't.
152
00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:41,947
Yeah, but, um,
we're always gonna remember you,
153
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,424
and we'll never forget you, so...
154
00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:44,837
Take this yo-yo.
155
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,260
It belonged to my father.
156
00:05:47,266 --> 00:05:49,129
Television set.
157
00:05:49,464 --> 00:05:50,885
Give it to your sons.
158
00:05:50,908 --> 00:05:52,399
Very cool.
Cool yo-yo.
159
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:54,693
- Thank you, I'm gonna treasure this.
- Don't go.
160
00:05:54,724 --> 00:05:56,885
- Yep.
- Guys, please don't leave us, okay?
161
00:05:56,904 --> 00:05:58,591
I cannot survive in here.
162
00:05:58,631 --> 00:06:00,310
All right, I-I love you, Jet Set.
163
00:06:00,322 --> 00:06:02,099
But he shit all over the walls.
164
00:06:02,507 --> 00:06:04,664
- And I can't... this smell...
- You pooped on the walls?
165
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,219
- I couldn't hold it no more.
- I can smell it now.
166
00:06:09,582 --> 00:06:11,291
I'm sorry, guys,
we'll come back for you.
167
00:06:11,316 --> 00:06:12,486
We gotta go.
168
00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,796
Oh.
169
00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,581
It's okay.
170
00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:20,362
Relax, Holmvik.
171
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,820
Once you've been oriented,
172
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:25,767
all the fear, the emotions,
173
00:06:26,073 --> 00:06:27,583
they just disappear.
174
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,674
Then why don't you try it?
175
00:06:29,905 --> 00:06:33,769
Because I run Telamericorp,
and Tina answers to me.
176
00:06:35,244 --> 00:06:36,854
Prep the patient.
177
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,017
What?
178
00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:39,280
What are you doing?
179
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:41,609
What? No!
Oh, no!
180
00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:43,786
You're changing the molecular
structure of my flesh!
181
00:06:43,899 --> 00:06:45,454
Please don't!
182
00:06:45,508 --> 00:06:47,411
No, we're just shaving your body.
183
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:48,444
Oh.
184
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,421
Okay.
185
00:06:49,499 --> 00:06:50,848
Been there, done that.
186
00:06:51,346 --> 00:06:52,484
Spa day.
187
00:07:03,416 --> 00:07:04,690
{pub}So, once we get to Vegas,
188
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,413
thinking about doing
a Cirque Du Soleil show
189
00:07:06,438 --> 00:07:07,520
based on the music of Nelly.
190
00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,235
- Wait a minute.
- What?
191
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,238
I mean, if Murphy Lee
and the St. Lunatics
192
00:07:12,256 --> 00:07:15,189
want to be involved, that's fine.
But it's really... it's Nelly's show.
193
00:07:15,546 --> 00:07:17,256
Tina's mainframe.
194
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,898
That's where
the lifeblood's generated.
195
00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,255
Destroying the mainframe
would wipe out the mind control
196
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,187
of everybody who's been
oriented-tated.
197
00:07:24,217 --> 00:07:25,967
Very cool.
We can't get in there, though,
198
00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:27,695
because we don't have
Alice's collar key.
199
00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:29,812
So let's just focus
on what I'm saying, okay?
200
00:07:29,837 --> 00:07:30,942
Let's go get Ders.
201
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,681
Do you have air force ones?
'Cause you're gonna need those.
202
00:07:32,706 --> 00:07:35,395
Um, I have G Unit sneakers.
203
00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:38,260
Once ingested,
this probe will map your body,
204
00:07:38,294 --> 00:07:40,757
and we can begin the implant process,
205
00:07:40,781 --> 00:07:43,876
orienting you to Tina's mainframe.
206
00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:50,330
Yeah.
207
00:07:50,354 --> 00:07:52,618
Don't worry, you'll pass it soon.
208
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:53,674
TMI.
209
00:07:53,693 --> 00:07:56,536
Position the optical
excavation device.
210
00:07:57,063 --> 00:07:59,561
Time to scoop out
them eyeballs, stretch.
211
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:05,189
No!
212
00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:07,442
No! No, no, no!
213
00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:09,473
Watch eyes! Watch eyes!
Waymond, please, please!
214
00:08:09,492 --> 00:08:11,657
I know you can hear me!
Tell her to stop!
215
00:08:11,697 --> 00:08:13,525
Don't let her do this!
216
00:08:15,034 --> 00:08:17,735
Good thing yo-yo strings
are long as hell in the future.
217
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,758
Whoop!
218
00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:20,820
Just what do you think you're doing?
219
00:08:20,855 --> 00:08:21,921
We're escaping to Vegas.
220
00:08:21,946 --> 00:08:23,672
Unless you want me
to be your sex puppet.
221
00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:25,584
Put your hand up my ass,
make me talk.
222
00:08:25,602 --> 00:08:26,991
Come on, let's get out
of here! Let's go!
223
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,413
Let's move! Let's move!
Let's move!
224
00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:30,613
Oh, yeah, and, Alice...
225
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,264
- We quit.
- Yeah.
226
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,574
Yeah, we quit.
227
00:08:34,605 --> 00:08:36,476
Come on! Hup!
228
00:08:36,857 --> 00:08:38,944
After them now!
229
00:08:41,849 --> 00:08:42,922
Damn it.
230
00:08:42,941 --> 00:08:45,288
I am not running after them
in these heels.
231
00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:46,848
Let's head back to the office.
232
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,643
We'll activate
the probe's tracking signal,
233
00:08:48,648 --> 00:08:51,657
and then we'll trigger the defense mech,
in case they try to discharge.
234
00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,280
Damn it.
235
00:08:53,415 --> 00:08:54,324
What are they talking about?
236
00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:56,338
They fed me this probe thing.
237
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,048
Oh, my God.
238
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,279
I can feel it. Oh.
239
00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:03,898
Oh, God!
240
00:09:03,924 --> 00:09:05,364
It's too late to abort it,
241
00:09:05,481 --> 00:09:07,024
which is exactly what my mom used
242
00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:08,499
to say about me.
243
00:09:08,677 --> 00:09:10,358
I'm gonna have to murder you.
I'm gonna have to murder him.
244
00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:11,577
- No, Adam, no...
- Wait, wait...
245
00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:12,956
He's not Oriental yet.
246
00:09:12,981 --> 00:09:14,040
Look at his eyes.
247
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:16,271
You could tell he's Oriental
by his eyes.
248
00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:18,180
But we do got
to get that probe out of him.
249
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,287
- Oh.
- Oh, God. Ooh.
250
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,921
I think I know how to get it out.
251
00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,475
- Huh? What?
- How?
252
00:09:27,054 --> 00:09:28,501
- What are you...
- What are you doing?
253
00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:29,982
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
254
00:09:30,005 --> 00:09:31,560
Tracker on.
255
00:09:31,624 --> 00:09:33,928
Get to the supply closet now!
256
00:09:35,846 --> 00:09:38,017
Defense mech armed.
257
00:09:38,053 --> 00:09:39,649
You hear that? I'm beeping.
258
00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,537
- Yeah, get it out, Ders.
- Get it out.
259
00:09:41,556 --> 00:09:42,700
- Can you hear it?
- Stop playing.
260
00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:44,049
I could kill him,
I could still kill him.
261
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:47,003
Yeah, man, this is an option.
262
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,484
Oh, look.
263
00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:52,257
Oh, my God, it's a tapeworm!
264
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:54,448
I've had one of those.
17 feet long.
265
00:09:54,479 --> 00:09:56,638
Doctor told me I had
to quit eating raw ground beef.
266
00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:57,860
Which I did.
267
00:09:57,952 --> 00:09:58,786
For a while.
268
00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:00,342
It's not a tapeworm!
269
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,161
It's the thing!
Obviously.
270
00:10:02,191 --> 00:10:03,495
- Yes, obviously.
- Right, totally.
271
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,384
Come over here,
and help me get it out.
272
00:10:05,428 --> 00:10:07,956
- Keep pulling it out of your ass.
- All right, you're okay.
273
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:10,315
- I think you... you got this.
- All right, uh...
274
00:10:11,702 --> 00:10:13,891
All right, here we go.
275
00:10:13,994 --> 00:10:15,592
- Okay.
- Oh, wait, no, no, no.
276
00:10:15,611 --> 00:10:17,378
- Not a pretty view.
- Slow down, slow down.
277
00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:18,356
I think something's coming.
278
00:10:18,374 --> 00:10:20,255
Oh, yeah, no, that's it.
That's the probe.
279
00:10:20,299 --> 00:10:21,571
I see something.
280
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:23,944
Yep, yep.
Oh, here we go!
281
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:25,354
We got some lights.
282
00:10:25,401 --> 00:10:26,957
Oh!
283
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,816
- Ooh!
- Oh God!
284
00:10:28,902 --> 00:10:30,352
We got it!
Destroy it, Adam!
285
00:10:30,365 --> 00:10:31,480
- Destroy it.
- Yep.
286
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,036
- Okay. Yeah.
- You get it?
287
00:10:35,145 --> 00:10:36,010
No, I hear it.
288
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,144
It's still beeping inside of me.
289
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,850
We're not done, guys,
it's still in there!
290
00:10:39,317 --> 00:10:40,892
To the left, hurry!
291
00:10:40,904 --> 00:10:42,408
And bring them back alive.
292
00:10:42,652 --> 00:10:43,739
Barely.
293
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:45,353
- Yep.
- It's still in there.
294
00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:47,142
It's still in there.
Okay, okay.
295
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:48,297
Round two, here we go.
296
00:10:48,329 --> 00:10:49,873
Yeah, no.
297
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:51,494
- You got it.
- Keep it up.
298
00:10:51,512 --> 00:10:52,936
Good work.
299
00:10:53,308 --> 00:10:54,810
Yep, I got it snagged.
300
00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:01,345
- Oh!
- Boy! Yikes!
301
00:11:01,504 --> 00:11:04,042
Yes, you're gonna have a case of
"the hemmies" after this one.
302
00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:05,104
Fissures and hemmies.
303
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:06,656
You might never poop again, dude.
304
00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,335
Which would suck for me,
I love pooping.
305
00:11:08,347 --> 00:11:10,280
It's, like, where I get most
of my reading done.
306
00:11:11,152 --> 00:11:13,661
Great. You've got them cornered.
307
00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:15,489
You know what?
308
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,652
Kill 'em.
309
00:11:16,797 --> 00:11:18,139
No, guys...
guys, stop!
310
00:11:18,151 --> 00:11:19,258
Stop, okay?
311
00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:21,458
I'll just be a cyborg.
Forget it, all right?
312
00:11:21,483 --> 00:11:23,900
Just stop pulling things out
of my ass!
313
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,428
Okay, I'll help.
314
00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:29,395
- Oh!
- There it is! There it is!
315
00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:31,732
- Oh! Oh!
- Break it! Hurry.
316
00:11:32,486 --> 00:11:33,728
Break it and destroy it!
317
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,533
Come on!
318
00:11:35,848 --> 00:11:37,176
Okay, it's indestructible.
319
00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:38,551
Don't we have, like, a steamroller
320
00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:40,009
or, like, lava or...
321
00:11:40,088 --> 00:11:41,565
What do we do?
322
00:11:45,063 --> 00:11:46,495
Wait, what are you doing, you idiots?
323
00:11:46,513 --> 00:11:47,734
Finish them!
324
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,614
They're heading down
the South hallway.
325
00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:52,374
They're
heading towards my office!
326
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,737
Wait, they're coming for me!
327
00:11:53,743 --> 00:11:55,653
Get here now!
328
00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:23,057
{pub}Damn it!
It's Bill.
329
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,393
We're not getting past him.
330
00:12:24,424 --> 00:12:25,618
He's so deadly.
Look at him.
331
00:12:25,656 --> 00:12:27,006
Ow!
332
00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:30,420
Um, mirrors.
333
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,773
If we can find several mirrors...
334
00:12:32,914 --> 00:12:35,326
Shh, Adam.
Trying to come up with an idea here.
335
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,311
Dude!
336
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,686
Hey, have you guys seen Kill Bill?
337
00:12:38,938 --> 00:12:40,482
Volume one or two?
338
00:12:40,517 --> 00:12:41,964
Volume now.
339
00:12:47,763 --> 00:12:49,063
Aah!
340
00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:55,567
I got him!
341
00:12:55,586 --> 00:12:57,337
- Bill!
- No!
342
00:12:57,356 --> 00:12:59,482
- Oh, sheesh.
- Ugh.
343
00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:00,715
All right.
344
00:13:00,734 --> 00:13:02,505
Bill! No!
345
00:13:04,181 --> 00:13:05,927
Adam, you can't kill them!
346
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,345
Bill, he's still in there.
He's just under mind control.
347
00:13:08,382 --> 00:13:09,394
- Yeah.
- Oh, I thought he...
348
00:13:09,428 --> 00:13:10,771
I thought he was like an evil robot.
349
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,765
No! Oh!
350
00:13:11,783 --> 00:13:13,190
You didn't know.
He didn't know.
351
00:13:13,202 --> 00:13:15,954
Cyborgs are totally different
than evil robots, okay?
352
00:13:16,013 --> 00:13:17,895
- Think of Robocop, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
353
00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,149
He would have those flashbacks
to when he was a man.
354
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:22,091
Oh, so he's actually...
he's half-human.
355
00:13:22,116 --> 00:13:23,463
- Yes, he's still human.
- I killed a human!
356
00:13:23,489 --> 00:13:24,825
- You killed a human, dude.
- Oh, my gosh.
357
00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:27,096
- Oh, sorry, Bill.
- Yeah.
358
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,170
Okay, we hop over the fence.
359
00:13:29,482 --> 00:13:31,118
Hop on a plane, if they still exist,
360
00:13:31,142 --> 00:13:33,407
and be the kings
of the Las Vegas strap.
361
00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:35,356
Attention, Jillian and Jet Set,
362
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,373
prepare for orientation.
363
00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:38,863
Your time is now.
364
00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:40,390
Jet and Jill.
365
00:13:40,429 --> 00:13:41,540
You guys, we got to do something.
366
00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:42,754
I know what they're about
to go through.
367
00:13:42,785 --> 00:13:43,704
Uh-uh, no.
368
00:13:43,716 --> 00:13:45,554
This is a trap.
This is trickery!
369
00:13:45,566 --> 00:13:46,966
This is Tomfoolery!
370
00:13:46,991 --> 00:13:48,095
Let's go to Vegas!
371
00:13:49,173 --> 00:13:50,481
Vegas!
372
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:54,064
No, don't you see?
This isn't just about saving those guys.
373
00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,783
It's about taking back Telamericorp.
374
00:13:56,983 --> 00:13:59,476
Reclaiming the company
that gave us nothing.
375
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:03,547
It's a dirty job, but...
Somebody's gotta Mike Rowe it.
376
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,217
- Hey, Blake?
- Huh?
377
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,793
Fuck yo speech! Whoo!
378
00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:09,118
- You had to say that.
- Vegas!
379
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,260
No! Aah!
380
00:14:11,705 --> 00:14:12,790
Help!
381
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:14,708
Adam, I got you!
382
00:14:18,675 --> 00:14:21,408
Oh, I gotta...
I gotta get a gif of this!
383
00:14:21,489 --> 00:14:23,456
Ders... Get... Us... Off!
384
00:14:24,111 --> 00:14:25,845
Okay, all right.
385
00:14:25,984 --> 00:14:28,886
Ders, get me off!
386
00:14:32,012 --> 00:14:33,901
- Oh, my God!
- You think that was funny?
387
00:14:33,945 --> 00:14:34,955
- I'm sorry.
- You think that was...
388
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:36,146
- let me see it!
- I'm...
389
00:14:36,173 --> 00:14:37,507
- let me see it!
- Sorry.
390
00:14:37,632 --> 00:14:38,782
Aah!
391
00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:40,010
Oh, this is funny.
392
00:14:40,039 --> 00:14:41,401
- Huh?
- This is actually really funny.
393
00:14:41,426 --> 00:14:42,660
- It's pretty funny, right?
- That was good.
394
00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,240
- Thank you.
- Okay, all right.
395
00:14:44,246 --> 00:14:45,740
Let's go back and save the day!
396
00:14:45,756 --> 00:14:47,001
End tyranny!
397
00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:48,887
Find the switch for the fence!
398
00:14:48,937 --> 00:14:50,848
Oh, I got a boner for some reason.
399
00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:54,370
All right, now we find Alice,
and we force her to free the people.
400
00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:55,268
- Yep.
- Or...
401
00:14:55,305 --> 00:14:58,753
She forces me to fuck her
or whatever, huh?
402
00:14:58,777 --> 00:15:00,292
No, Adam, we have to stop her, okay?
403
00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:01,427
This ends now.
Come on, let's do this.
404
00:15:01,457 --> 00:15:02,945
Yes, that's a better plan than mine.
405
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,089
Oh, damn.
Jillian's a fembot.
406
00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:07,101
- Really?
- Oh, they all are.
407
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,562
Knuckle up, motherfuggers.
408
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:09,537
Mm, why do you have that?
409
00:15:09,562 --> 00:15:11,111
- Huh? 'Cause.
- Yeah.
410
00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:12,173
- 'Cause why?
- Why?
411
00:15:12,185 --> 00:15:13,637
- It was in my butt, dude.
- That was in his anus.
412
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:16,053
To study...
Because the, um...
413
00:15:16,336 --> 00:15:19,250
Just go fight your one,
already, please.
414
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:21,135
- Yeah, go, you got him.
- All right, wish me luck.
415
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,744
- Good luck.
- Whoo!
416
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,297
Whoa.
Whoo!
417
00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:29,373
You are a bitch, cyborg Montez!
418
00:15:29,391 --> 00:15:30,496
You are a bitch!
419
00:15:31,912 --> 00:15:32,932
Sorry, Jet Set!
420
00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:34,601
- Yeah!
- Oh!
421
00:15:37,999 --> 00:15:40,192
- Oh, was that a roundhouse?
- You know it.
422
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,853
Whatever happened
to roundhouses, dude?
423
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,153
I don't wanna do this, Jillian.
424
00:15:46,383 --> 00:15:47,518
- Oh!
- Whoa.
425
00:15:47,536 --> 00:15:50,029
- Oh!
- Blake, stop messing around!
426
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,243
I'm not messing around.
427
00:15:51,261 --> 00:15:53,158
She's crushing my testicles.
428
00:15:53,192 --> 00:15:55,570
Ow!
Oh, oh.
429
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:58,827
Let's see if I can crush
her testicles.
430
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:08,732
Oh!
431
00:16:08,943 --> 00:16:11,008
Oh!
Oh, ow.
432
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,305
Swim dive!
433
00:16:12,859 --> 00:16:13,875
Yeah... oh!
434
00:16:15,419 --> 00:16:18,064
Guys!
The xerox machine.
435
00:16:18,298 --> 00:16:19,383
Copy that.
436
00:16:21,219 --> 00:16:23,740
Attack!
Now! Eww, oh!
437
00:16:25,007 --> 00:16:26,531
Come on, Demamp!
438
00:16:26,589 --> 00:16:28,333
Triple dude attack!
439
00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:30,594
Oh!
440
00:16:30,719 --> 00:16:32,530
Oh, nice.
Come on, let's go!
441
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,486
- All right.
- Oh.
442
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,575
Oh, hi.
443
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,703
Sorry, I was just...
444
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,147
I was just eating.
445
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:52,704
{pub}All you had to do was
go through orientation.
446
00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:55,412
But no, you had to cause problems.
447
00:16:55,443 --> 00:16:58,968
Yeah, 'cause "cause problems"
is my middle name.
448
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,212
Yeah!
And being a cyborg?
449
00:17:01,243 --> 00:17:02,487
Well, that's overrated.
450
00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:04,234
And that's something
I never thought I'd say.
451
00:17:04,321 --> 00:17:07,407
And we're here to put an end
to the reign of Tina.
452
00:17:07,605 --> 00:17:09,819
Good luck with that, stretch.
453
00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:14,926
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
454
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,940
Tom Green!
Wow, really big fan.
455
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,312
- Really big fan.
- I'm a huge fan.
456
00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:20,751
My bum is on the cheese.
457
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,898
- My bum is on the cheese.
- Cyber Tom Green,
458
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,650
that's... that's awesome,
but you need to shut it down.
459
00:17:25,687 --> 00:17:26,817
- Yeah.
- Because soon enough,
460
00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,297
the cyborgs,
they're gonna come for you.
461
00:17:28,328 --> 00:17:32,154
These machines would die for me,
because they need me to survive.
462
00:17:34,034 --> 00:17:36,207
Oh, what, do you have
a problem with that?
463
00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:39,095
Kill them already.
464
00:17:43,076 --> 00:17:45,176
Oh!
465
00:17:46,755 --> 00:17:48,697
- Swedish?
- Something happened.
466
00:17:48,716 --> 00:17:50,528
The machines!
They're taking over!
467
00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:52,830
- Now what are you doing?
- The key card!
468
00:17:52,848 --> 00:17:54,589
We've gotta get to the mainframe!
469
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,764
Screw it!
470
00:17:56,788 --> 00:17:58,588
Poor Alice,
she's never gonna bang me.
471
00:18:01,139 --> 00:18:02,606
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
472
00:18:02,993 --> 00:18:04,495
Daddy, would you like some sausages?
473
00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:06,458
Sausages! Sausages!
474
00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,449
Get in and barricade the door!
Barricade the door!
475
00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:14,857
'Sup, Tina?
You naughty little computer.
476
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,790
Oh, I'm gonna drain you.
477
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,154
I'm gonna drain you good.
478
00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:22,085
Come on!
479
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,762
- Shut her down, Demamp!
- There it is!
480
00:18:23,781 --> 00:18:25,197
We can't hold him much longer!
481
00:18:25,222 --> 00:18:27,502
I'm trying!
It's much harder than it looks!
482
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,295
All right, well...
try a "come hither" motion.
483
00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:33,011
Oh, I'm "hithering."
Oh, I'm "hithering," baby!
484
00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:33,761
"Hither" harder!
485
00:18:33,788 --> 00:18:37,080
Come on!
You come for me!
486
00:18:37,702 --> 00:18:38,829
Oh!
487
00:18:38,864 --> 00:18:39,887
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
488
00:18:39,912 --> 00:18:41,309
Please, not my face!
489
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:43,685
- Uh, something's happening.
- Something good?
490
00:18:43,807 --> 00:18:47,503
Something... Beautiful!
491
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:51,809
Oh!
492
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,439
Oh, come on!
Oh, oh, oh.
493
00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:04,365
Hey, uh, it's...
it's way over.
494
00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:05,578
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it's...
495
00:19:05,595 --> 00:19:07,201
- Yeah, we did it?
- Yeah. - You got him.
496
00:19:08,705 --> 00:19:11,153
Oh, no!
Oh, my God!
497
00:19:11,305 --> 00:19:13,218
We killed my hero.
498
00:19:15,037 --> 00:19:16,238
Jeez!
499
00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:18,538
Where am I?
500
00:19:18,914 --> 00:19:21,593
- I don't remember anything.
- Well, uh...
501
00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:23,165
- Well, you were a robot...
- Yeah.
502
00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:24,143
And then now you're...
503
00:19:24,149 --> 00:19:25,558
you're just normal-ass Tom Green,
504
00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:27,149
- which is pretty cool.
- Cyborg.
505
00:19:27,188 --> 00:19:28,404
Yeah, and actually...
506
00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:29,943
We are your childhood friends.
507
00:19:29,991 --> 00:19:31,234
- So...
- Yep.
508
00:19:31,259 --> 00:19:32,625
- Like, your best friends.
- Welcome back.
509
00:19:32,656 --> 00:19:34,304
- Yeah.
- What's up, buddy?
510
00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:36,801
- Thanks, guys.
- Yeah, we do what we have to.
511
00:19:37,161 --> 00:19:38,987
- Thanks, guys.
- Hey! They're okay!
512
00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:41,972
Uh-huh.
513
00:19:42,132 --> 00:19:43,920
Oh, my God.
We're heroes!
514
00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:45,798
Well, uh, I don't know about that.
515
00:19:45,828 --> 00:19:47,739
- We... we killed Bill, actually.
- Yes.
516
00:19:47,796 --> 00:19:49,793
Very sorry about that.
I did kill Bill.
517
00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:50,877
- Murdered.
- That was my bad.
518
00:19:50,902 --> 00:19:51,708
I murdered him.
519
00:19:51,739 --> 00:19:54,750
I actually hope he's banging
Alice's dead body in the afterlife.
520
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,962
"Bang dead Alice"?
521
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:06,683
- Oh, um... I meant...
- You know what?
522
00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:08,648
Shut up, okay?
Honestly, I think that was
523
00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:10,657
the dumbest story I have ever heard.
524
00:20:10,684 --> 00:20:12,580
I can't believe you let him
tell it for so long.
525
00:20:12,604 --> 00:20:14,835
This is just a prototype
for a pilot program.
526
00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:16,205
We're not gonna
be implementing anything
527
00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:18,300
- for, like, another year.
- Oh!
528
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:19,741
Well, you should have
said that right away.
529
00:20:19,766 --> 00:20:22,266
- Yeah, we're gonna quit by then.
- We'll probably be dead by then.
530
00:20:22,299 --> 00:20:24,255
Please, let's just get back
to the phones, now.
531
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,468
- All right.
- All right, I swear to God...
532
00:20:26,665 --> 00:20:28,236
- Dude, I gotta try that!
- Right? That's got to...
533
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:31,881
Do not know.
534
00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:33,882
Jillian, are you okay?
535
00:20:34,012 --> 00:20:36,429
- Somebody call 911!
- Are you choking?
536
00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:38,267
Get out of the way!
537
00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:40,209
Blake!
538
00:20:40,796 --> 00:20:42,581
- Help her!
- I don't know what to do!
539
00:20:42,611 --> 00:20:45,271
- Somebody help!
- Oh! Oh, God!
540
00:20:45,366 --> 00:20:47,035
Aah! Aah!
541
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:55,462
All right, enough!
542
00:20:55,496 --> 00:20:57,995
God, Blake, do you ever shut up?
543
00:20:58,212 --> 00:21:03,212
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