1 00:00:00,610 --> 00:00:02,886 (Tessa) They say he who is content with the least 2 00:00:02,925 --> 00:00:04,145 is the richest of all. 3 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,944 If that's true, then Opus 4 00:00:05,952 --> 00:00:07,954 and the newly divorced Noah Werner 5 00:00:07,993 --> 00:00:09,796 were completely destitute. 6 00:00:09,916 --> 00:00:12,117 But living large came at a price... 7 00:00:12,151 --> 00:00:14,391 A price steeper than the $50 oatmeal... 8 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,134 (Laughs) 9 00:00:15,157 --> 00:00:16,917 Hey, you want a duck? 10 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,457 Steeper than the bath Butler... 11 00:00:18,473 --> 00:00:19,658 Yes. 12 00:00:20,076 --> 00:00:22,809 Steeper than the premium tuck-in service. 13 00:00:23,135 --> 00:00:24,978 - A price that, from under the drape... - Mm. 14 00:00:24,996 --> 00:00:26,787 Of the custom blackout drapes, 15 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,765 he never saw coming. 16 00:00:28,765 --> 00:00:30,783 (Feet marching) 17 00:00:37,809 --> 00:00:38,892 (Exhales) 18 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,379 Whoa. 19 00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:43,303 He...hello... ladies. 20 00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:45,969 To what do I owe this... home invasion? 21 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,605 Seriously, I haven't seen the Chatswin mom militia 22 00:00:48,589 --> 00:00:50,028 out in force for quite some time. 23 00:00:50,036 --> 00:00:52,147 We're here about Opus. Opus Werner. 24 00:00:53,485 --> 00:00:54,916 Ah. 25 00:01:00,711 --> 00:01:01,737 Spot of tea, George? 26 00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,439 I'm good. 27 00:01:03,473 --> 00:01:05,207 Then I'll cut to the chase. 28 00:01:07,037 --> 00:01:09,735 Noah has Opus living like a pagan... 29 00:01:09,855 --> 00:01:11,291 in a hotel. 30 00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:12,433 So? 31 00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:14,851 Are you deliberately being obtuse right now, George? 32 00:01:14,971 --> 00:01:17,244 Children should be raised in a respectable 3-bedroom home. 33 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,378 With a picket fence. 34 00:01:18,401 --> 00:01:19,535 And window boxes. 35 00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:22,210 Where Noah is living is none of our business. 36 00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:24,635 And by ours, I mean yours. 37 00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:26,199 So maybe... 38 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,442 stand down? 39 00:01:27,489 --> 00:01:29,233 Stand down? (Scoffs) 40 00:01:29,353 --> 00:01:30,633 I see. 41 00:01:30,672 --> 00:01:33,738 Did former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton 42 00:01:33,754 --> 00:01:35,819 stand down when she penned her 1996 43 00:01:35,865 --> 00:01:37,555 "New York Times" bestseller? 44 00:01:38,157 --> 00:01:39,369 I'm... gonna guess "no"? 45 00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:42,051 It takes a village, George, and we're the village people. 46 00:01:42,059 --> 00:01:43,687 Noah is going through a divorce. 47 00:01:43,726 --> 00:01:46,651 You have to give him time to... iron out the details. 48 00:01:46,687 --> 00:01:48,582 Having raised a child as a single dad, 49 00:01:48,622 --> 00:01:50,741 I assure you, it can be done. 50 00:01:50,749 --> 00:01:53,572 Well, bravo to all you single parents. 51 00:01:53,588 --> 00:01:55,644 What an idiot I am. 52 00:01:55,652 --> 00:01:57,670 I struggled to keep my marriage intact, 53 00:01:57,670 --> 00:02:00,055 gave up any theoretical, exciting career plans, 54 00:02:00,055 --> 00:02:02,542 and stayed home to cook meals for my children. 55 00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:04,490 But apparently, I could have been raising them 56 00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:05,366 on room service. 57 00:02:05,389 --> 00:02:07,337 You know what? I...I appreciate your concern, 58 00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:09,159 and I'm sure Noah does, too. But... 59 00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:12,271 This is more than concern. 60 00:02:12,391 --> 00:02:14,993 If you won't do something, the village people will. 61 00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:19,615 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 62 00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:24,104 (Alih Jey) * last night I had a pleasant nightmare * 63 00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:26,997 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 64 00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:29,321 I'll admit living in a tight-knit community 65 00:02:29,305 --> 00:02:30,799 could be oppressive at times, 66 00:02:30,853 --> 00:02:33,755 but that was what made Chatswin such a safe place to live. 67 00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:34,513 Aah! 68 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,274 Now be a good girl and let me in, 69 00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:38,471 or so help me, I will break the glass. 70 00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:39,895 (Exhales) Okay. 71 00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:42,195 (Latch clicks) 72 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,001 Mr. Shay, what is wrong with you? 73 00:02:44,009 --> 00:02:46,738 Well, that's what I need you to tell me. 74 00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:50,054 It all started this morning when I was leaving for work. 75 00:02:51,524 --> 00:02:52,822 Have a great day. 76 00:02:52,942 --> 00:02:54,301 No, you have a great day, Fred. 77 00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,389 You have a great, great day. 78 00:02:56,412 --> 00:02:58,094 (Chuckles) 79 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,658 Let go of my lunch. 80 00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:01,347 What's in here? I want it! 81 00:03:01,339 --> 00:03:02,379 Oh, yeah? 82 00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:05,156 Well, there's something I want. 83 00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:09,035 I don't know if I wanna hear this story. 84 00:03:09,082 --> 00:03:10,810 Oh, are you worried there's gonna be sex? 85 00:03:11,045 --> 00:03:13,876 Don't be. There's never any sex in any of my stories. 86 00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:16,902 There's an opening, Fred, a really juicy opening. 87 00:03:16,902 --> 00:03:18,380 I want you to move on it 88 00:03:18,419 --> 00:03:21,188 and slide in there before someone else does. 89 00:03:22,087 --> 00:03:23,487 This is it, Fred. 90 00:03:23,526 --> 00:03:26,013 This is your chance to get back on the sales team 91 00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:26,896 where you belong. 92 00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:29,039 Oh, but, Sheila, sales is so cutthroat, 93 00:03:29,086 --> 00:03:30,189 competitive. 94 00:03:30,212 --> 00:03:32,003 As a junior secretary, I know where I stand. 95 00:03:32,035 --> 00:03:33,106 My blood pressure's down. 96 00:03:33,098 --> 00:03:34,623 I even have my own catchphrase... 97 00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:36,422 "Anybody need anything?" 98 00:03:36,453 --> 00:03:38,619 That's not a catchphrase. That's the sound a man makes 99 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,426 when he's bringing home half the salary he used to. 100 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:42,710 Now you take this Waldorf salad sandwich 101 00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:44,430 and you go get that job! 102 00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,174 Go get it! Go get 'em! 103 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:47,652 Go get 'em! 104 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,146 Okay. 105 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:49,975 Seriously, go get it. 106 00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:51,499 - Go. Go get it. - Oh. Sorry. Right. 107 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,728 Okay. Well, then what are you doing here? 108 00:03:53,752 --> 00:03:55,918 It sounds like you should be out getting that job. 109 00:03:55,918 --> 00:03:57,123 Well, I want to. 110 00:03:57,138 --> 00:03:58,311 But the new sales manager, Todd, 111 00:03:58,343 --> 00:04:00,345 thinks anyone over 30 is a dinosaur. 112 00:04:00,353 --> 00:04:01,503 Now I know what you're thinking... 113 00:04:01,503 --> 00:04:03,497 dinosaurs are awesome. Agreed. 114 00:04:03,617 --> 00:04:06,023 But apparently, in Todd's world, not so. 115 00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:09,433 Please, Tessa. He's young and he's from Manhattan. 116 00:04:09,621 --> 00:04:11,373 Teach me your urban ways. 117 00:04:11,357 --> 00:04:13,867 (Huffs) I don't really have any "ways." 118 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,769 Well, then, at least tell me what I need to feel current. 119 00:04:16,784 --> 00:04:17,840 Uh... 120 00:04:17,848 --> 00:04:19,756 Oh... do... do I need one of these? 121 00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:20,921 If your phone is dying. 122 00:04:20,937 --> 00:04:22,540 Okay, well, let's just assume that it is. 123 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,895 Uh, Mr. shay, instead of demonstrating 124 00:04:25,895 --> 00:04:27,647 your phone-charging capabilities, 125 00:04:27,663 --> 00:04:31,353 have you considered emphasizing your vast sales experience? 126 00:04:31,346 --> 00:04:32,965 (Chuckles) Sales experience? 127 00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:35,217 (Sighs) 128 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,572 Judy Walker was the most experienced sales rep we had. 129 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,841 She got fired because she didn't know who Katie Holmes was. 130 00:04:41,873 --> 00:04:44,883 And God save my wretched soul, Tessa, neither do I. 131 00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:47,410 Please. You have to help me. 132 00:04:47,605 --> 00:04:51,015 Well, I... do know who Katie Holmes is. 133 00:04:51,054 --> 00:04:53,713 I knew it! Thank you, lord. 134 00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:55,819 Meanwhile, Dallas was about to take on 135 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,201 a new project of her own. 136 00:04:57,201 --> 00:04:59,422 Dalia's appetite for material things 137 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,868 was becoming a nightmare. 138 00:05:00,892 --> 00:05:02,589 (Gasps) 139 00:05:02,777 --> 00:05:04,495 (Horror theme playing) 140 00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,211 What in blue blazers is going on in here? 141 00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,478 (Hinges creak) (Gasps) 142 00:05:08,494 --> 00:05:09,886 What's the problem, mommy? 143 00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:13,070 Dalia, this closet is bursting at the seams 144 00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:15,258 like a Christina Aguilera dress, 145 00:05:15,292 --> 00:05:16,791 which is not a comment on her weight, 146 00:05:16,823 --> 00:05:18,778 but rather on the tightness of her attire. 147 00:05:18,809 --> 00:05:21,063 I know. She really crams it in there. 148 00:05:21,131 --> 00:05:22,892 Just like me with my closet. 149 00:05:22,892 --> 00:05:24,026 I need a bigger one. 150 00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,912 We have enlarged the closets in your room four times already, 151 00:05:26,896 --> 00:05:28,515 and they were generous to begin with. 152 00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:29,868 Enough is enough. 153 00:05:29,884 --> 00:05:31,722 It's just my stuff, mommy. 154 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,170 Dalia, this closet is an embarrassment. 155 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,688 And you're gonna spend the rest of the day organizing it, 156 00:05:36,688 --> 00:05:39,566 do you hear me? Now if you need storage space, 157 00:05:39,761 --> 00:05:41,935 you can always put some things under your... 158 00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:44,806 (Gasps) (Laughter) 159 00:05:45,009 --> 00:05:46,737 Dalia Oprah... 160 00:05:46,857 --> 00:05:48,011 you're a hoarder. 161 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,873 Get out of my room. 162 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,095 What's in the trunk? 163 00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:55,347 Don't. Mommy, no. 164 00:05:55,363 --> 00:05:57,240 Aah! Aah! 165 00:05:57,485 --> 00:05:58,991 Look at all these purses! 166 00:05:59,111 --> 00:06:01,337 Who in their right mind needs this many purses? 167 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,878 (Demonic voice) I do. 168 00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:05,638 (Gasps) Look here, Dalia! 169 00:06:05,646 --> 00:06:07,171 There is a very thin line 170 00:06:07,187 --> 00:06:08,843 between you and those cray-cray people 171 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,510 who live in homes full of newspaper. 172 00:06:10,542 --> 00:06:12,200 And just 'cause these items are expensive 173 00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:14,303 doesn't change the fact that you're hoarding them. 174 00:06:14,423 --> 00:06:17,509 And hoarding is greedy and ungracious. You hear me? 175 00:06:17,564 --> 00:06:19,394 It's time to make some tough decisions. 176 00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:22,021 You need to get rid of all the stuff that you don't need, 177 00:06:22,141 --> 00:06:23,810 or I'll do it for you. 178 00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:28,262 Well, I just stopped by to, you know, 179 00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,748 see how everybody's doing. 180 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,055 Never better, George. (Bottle cap fizzes) 181 00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:33,783 Never better. (Nipple squeaks) 182 00:06:33,903 --> 00:06:37,020 This place is not only meeting our needs... (Cooing) 183 00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,304 it is anticipating our wants... 184 00:06:39,758 --> 00:06:42,104 around-the-clock room service, 185 00:06:42,224 --> 00:06:43,488 in-room massage, 186 00:06:43,608 --> 00:06:44,958 twice-a-day maid service, 187 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:46,077 and the best part about it, 188 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,946 I'm putting it all on my platinum card. 189 00:06:48,368 --> 00:06:49,776 Miles, George. 190 00:06:49,799 --> 00:06:51,402 Great. Great. 191 00:06:51,449 --> 00:06:54,718 (Opus coos) But, uh, what... what's the long-term plan? 192 00:06:54,976 --> 00:06:57,197 I mean, you can't... you can't live in a hotel forever. 193 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,105 Or can I? 194 00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:00,927 Howard Hughes did so quite nicely, 195 00:07:00,974 --> 00:07:02,526 as did James Woods. 196 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,261 Khloe and Lamar. 197 00:07:04,295 --> 00:07:07,058 Right, but they weren't raising small children. 198 00:07:07,105 --> 00:07:09,123 Right. Well... 199 00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:13,103 God's honest, I'm... not entirely liquid at the moment. 200 00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:14,871 I'm having some cash flow issues. 201 00:07:15,105 --> 00:07:17,389 (Chuckles) Mommy and her divorce lawyer 202 00:07:17,381 --> 00:07:18,923 - haven't missed a trick. - (Knock on door) 203 00:07:19,618 --> 00:07:21,690 (Cooing) 204 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,449 Where are my nuggets? 205 00:07:26,187 --> 00:07:29,050 I'm sorry, Mr. Werner, but it has come to my attention 206 00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:30,443 that you've been conducting yourself 207 00:07:30,435 --> 00:07:32,327 in a manner that makes it impossible 208 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,689 for you to continue to stay at our facility. 209 00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:36,348 Whoa. What's he talking about? 210 00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:39,030 - I have no idea. - Don't you? 211 00:07:39,343 --> 00:07:43,355 He's been romancing more than one member of our service staff. 212 00:07:44,937 --> 00:07:46,475 You've been having sex with housekeeping? 213 00:07:46,491 --> 00:07:48,938 - Absolutely not! - I did not say those words. 214 00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:51,199 I said he was "romancing" them... 215 00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:53,387 - Which he has been. - Come on! 216 00:07:53,688 --> 00:07:55,827 I'm not allowed to tell Rosa... 217 00:07:56,415 --> 00:07:57,442 That I love her? 218 00:07:57,562 --> 00:07:59,613 No, sir. No, you are not, 219 00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:02,379 particularly if you're going to say the same thing to Marilyn. 220 00:08:02,379 --> 00:08:04,044 But I do love Marilyn. 221 00:08:04,164 --> 00:08:05,408 I love them both. 222 00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:08,023 And I love Dottie for bringing me fresh pineapple by the pool. 223 00:08:08,036 --> 00:08:10,439 And I love Cynthia. Oh, my God, I love her. 224 00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:12,372 She makes my dinner reservation every night at 7:00. 225 00:08:12,397 --> 00:08:14,974 The service floor is in chaos, sir. 226 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,976 Fighting. Hair-pulling. 227 00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:18,515 Tears. 228 00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,382 I'm afraid I'm going to have to invite you to leave. 229 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,745 Wait a minute. 230 00:08:23,865 --> 00:08:26,636 Okay, you're kicking me out for loving the service here? 231 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:27,593 Precisely right. 232 00:08:28,037 --> 00:08:30,796 I've taken the liberty of preparing your bill. 233 00:08:34,525 --> 00:08:35,370 Whoa! 234 00:08:35,408 --> 00:08:38,129 Yeah. But as I said, I get the miles. 235 00:08:38,249 --> 00:08:42,347 Still, that is really a lot. 236 00:08:44,311 --> 00:08:46,551 George, could you tip the man, please? 237 00:08:56,548 --> 00:08:59,708 Listen, I love a good V.V. as much as the next juicer. 238 00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:01,217 Don't say "juicer." 239 00:09:01,429 --> 00:09:02,674 I love a good V. V... 240 00:09:02,681 --> 00:09:04,282 Wait. What's a V.V. again? 241 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,572 Viral video, right? I thought you taught me that. 242 00:09:06,591 --> 00:09:08,588 No. I've never heard that phrase. 243 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,227 But it's fine. Continue. 244 00:09:10,347 --> 00:09:12,254 (Crunching) Okay. Um, right. 245 00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:15,026 I love a good V.V. as much as the next web head, 246 00:09:15,026 --> 00:09:16,715 but that jam was fin 247 00:09:16,734 --> 00:09:18,923 as soon as it left Gangnam. Opp? 248 00:09:19,261 --> 00:09:19,774 Opp? 249 00:09:19,787 --> 00:09:21,501 It's from the song. I think it's Korean. 250 00:09:21,514 --> 00:09:22,740 Anyway... opp? 251 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,074 Then I whip out my charger, charge my phone, 252 00:09:25,074 --> 00:09:26,125 and I close with, 253 00:09:26,182 --> 00:09:28,759 Chatswin is so ghetto. 254 00:09:28,879 --> 00:09:31,268 Uh... honestly, 255 00:09:31,468 --> 00:09:33,395 I don't think we're quite there. 256 00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,454 How much time do we have? 257 00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:38,101 None. I've got 15 minutes to wheely to work. 258 00:09:38,138 --> 00:09:41,754 All right. Um, maybe just lose the wheelys, 259 00:09:41,804 --> 00:09:44,569 and change "ghetto" to "midtown." 260 00:09:44,757 --> 00:09:46,503 And get a little bacitracin for that earlobe. 261 00:09:46,547 --> 00:09:48,411 All right. Thanks. 262 00:09:51,426 --> 00:09:53,310 - Mommy. - (Gasps) 263 00:09:53,841 --> 00:09:55,418 What are you doing with my lambo? 264 00:09:55,406 --> 00:09:58,195 Dalia, step off. I told you point-blank 265 00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,315 if you didn't fill those boxes I left in your room, 266 00:10:00,341 --> 00:10:01,442 I'd fill 'em for you. 267 00:10:01,562 --> 00:10:03,100 Now I'm just getting rid of the kid stuff... 268 00:10:03,132 --> 00:10:04,883 things you haven't touched in years. 269 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,285 You haven't been touched in years. 270 00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:08,168 Dalia, you're lashing out. 271 00:10:08,212 --> 00:10:09,864 That's my first lambo, mommy. 272 00:10:09,858 --> 00:10:11,478 It only has 10,000 miles on it. 273 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,804 You can't give it away. 274 00:10:12,804 --> 00:10:15,520 And I bet you'd say the same thing about your play mansion... 275 00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:18,192 - I would. - And those two toddler-size helicopters 276 00:10:18,192 --> 00:10:19,301 - parked on the roof. - Mm-hmm. 277 00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:21,746 But those items would make very charitable donations. 278 00:10:21,771 --> 00:10:23,961 I don't see you giving any of your stuff away. 279 00:10:23,992 --> 00:10:27,113 Not so. Look at those boxes by the front door. 280 00:10:27,132 --> 00:10:29,666 I'm gettin' rid of all my adult dress-up clothes. 281 00:10:29,786 --> 00:10:31,543 George isn't into role-playing, 282 00:10:31,568 --> 00:10:35,097 so I no longer need my crotchless firefighter outfit. 283 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,655 Now it's your turn to get rid of some things 284 00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:39,232 that you haven't played with, 285 00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:41,009 like that lambo... 286 00:10:41,028 --> 00:10:42,198 I'm playing with it, mommy. 287 00:10:42,248 --> 00:10:43,894 I'm playing with it right now. 288 00:10:44,014 --> 00:10:46,189 (Whirring) 289 00:10:46,509 --> 00:10:47,397 (Noah) George! 290 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,217 Yeah? 291 00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,268 Again, buddy, 292 00:10:49,262 --> 00:10:52,184 I can't thank you enough for agreeing to put us up. 293 00:10:52,722 --> 00:10:54,843 Yeah. No... no problem, man. 294 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,095 I just wanna see you get back on your feet. 295 00:10:57,296 --> 00:10:59,323 Yes. I cannot wait to get off my feet. 296 00:10:59,373 --> 00:11:00,211 Oh. 297 00:11:00,331 --> 00:11:02,851 Right. Okay, well, you know where the kitchen is. 298 00:11:02,882 --> 00:11:03,715 Help yourself. 299 00:11:03,771 --> 00:11:05,279 Just let us know what's on your lunch menu, 300 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,598 and any lighter fare you might have 301 00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:08,231 for when we're playing outside. 302 00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:10,327 The pull-out couch is all made up for you. 303 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:13,262 Look at that. 304 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,802 We're gonna be as comfy as a couple of motel 6-ers. 305 00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:17,616 Hmm? Yeah. Ow. 306 00:11:18,123 --> 00:11:19,962 Something wrong? (Opus coos) 307 00:11:20,082 --> 00:11:21,589 No. (Smacks lips) 308 00:11:21,908 --> 00:11:24,042 All right, I'm a little worried 309 00:11:24,104 --> 00:11:26,238 that Opus and I might bleed to death 310 00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:28,125 from the million little cuts 311 00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:30,430 that we're going to get from these rough sheets. 312 00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,476 Look, we've already been through so much. 313 00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:34,384 Fine. I'll see what else we have. 314 00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:37,581 So we're looking for someone who understands young urbanites. 315 00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,583 Our product targets twenty-somethings 316 00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:41,177 who struggle with lethargy during the day, 317 00:11:41,227 --> 00:11:43,211 caused by insomnia at night. 318 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:45,031 Sleep when we're dead. Am I right? 319 00:11:45,056 --> 00:11:46,376 I hope not. 320 00:11:46,814 --> 00:11:49,466 Uh, their circadian rhythms are being confused by... 321 00:11:49,466 --> 00:11:50,492 Arcade Fire. 322 00:11:50,705 --> 00:11:52,094 - What? - 'Cause I know what that is. 323 00:11:52,094 --> 00:11:53,639 And that is a band. (Chuckles) 324 00:11:53,658 --> 00:11:56,618 Right. But it's not Arcade Fire. 325 00:11:56,806 --> 00:11:57,876 Uh, our research shows it's... 326 00:11:57,895 --> 00:11:59,565 Katie Holmes? Katie Bosworth? 327 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,642 Katie Middleton? Katie Upton? 328 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:02,787 Cat Daddy? Wanna Cat Daddy? 329 00:12:02,775 --> 00:12:05,784 ♪ 330 00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:06,828 No. 331 00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:09,143 Uh, I...I do not. I don't. 332 00:12:09,169 --> 00:12:10,195 Oh? Yeah. 333 00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:11,227 Okay. 334 00:12:11,347 --> 00:12:13,236 Um, anyways, it's light. 335 00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:16,377 Oh. Ooh. Yeah. Light from cell phones and monitors, 336 00:12:16,383 --> 00:12:17,459 and various other gadgets, 337 00:12:17,497 --> 00:12:19,680 which is exactly how we intend to reach them, 338 00:12:19,686 --> 00:12:20,894 through our social media campaign. 339 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,877 - O.M.G. - Yeah. 340 00:12:22,997 --> 00:12:25,554 I can't believe you just said "social media campaign." 341 00:12:25,598 --> 00:12:27,901 Because I'm antisocial socially, 342 00:12:27,888 --> 00:12:30,566 but I'm super social social-medially. 343 00:12:30,686 --> 00:12:33,794 Uh, in fact, I would say social media is my main... 344 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:34,864 Hey, hold on. Do you mind 345 00:12:34,883 --> 00:12:37,098 if I just charge my phone real quick? 346 00:12:37,536 --> 00:12:39,157 - I just wanna charge it all up... - Yeah. 347 00:12:39,169 --> 00:12:41,553 - 'Cause dead phones are ghetto. - (Beeps) 348 00:12:41,591 --> 00:12:42,598 Sure. 349 00:12:42,611 --> 00:12:43,868 Yeah. Anyway, where were we? 350 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,177 You were saying how active you are on social media. 351 00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:47,560 - Mm. - So you tweet? 352 00:12:47,610 --> 00:12:49,262 Like a brown trembler. 353 00:12:49,475 --> 00:12:51,762 Great. Well, you're obviously very experienced 354 00:12:51,764 --> 00:12:53,071 in the pharmaceutical sales field, 355 00:12:53,053 --> 00:12:55,192 - Yep. Mm-hmm. - And I can see you're extremely passionate. 356 00:12:55,205 --> 00:12:56,219 Oh, yeah. 357 00:12:56,339 --> 00:12:57,520 Todd, I love you, 358 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,760 and I will love on you if I get this job, 359 00:12:59,785 --> 00:13:01,687 which I would love... (Laughs) 360 00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:03,314 Okay. Bro. 361 00:13:03,345 --> 00:13:05,266 Okay. Well, how about this... 362 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:07,450 I will follow you on Twitter, 363 00:13:07,494 --> 00:13:08,814 and if I like what I see, 364 00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:12,135 uh, you'll hear something by the end of the week. 365 00:13:12,169 --> 00:13:13,155 (Gasps) 366 00:13:13,174 --> 00:13:14,704 (Gulps) 367 00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,712 There. 368 00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:28,890 Now, instead of lookin' at herself bathed in prosperity, 369 00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,905 Dalia can gaze upon Fatmire... 370 00:13:30,974 --> 00:13:33,045 an Albanian orphan who has nothin'. 371 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:33,901 Oh. 372 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,565 Imagine what a girl like Fatmire 373 00:13:35,596 --> 00:13:36,886 would do with that toy lambo. 374 00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:38,375 Uh, drag it into the next village 375 00:13:38,369 --> 00:13:39,752 and trade it for clean water? 376 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,634 Hmm. 377 00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:43,694 Seems like a lot of legwork for poor Fatmire. 378 00:13:43,725 --> 00:13:45,083 You know what, baby? I think it's great 379 00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:47,553 that you're trying to educate Dalia 380 00:13:47,572 --> 00:13:49,868 about those less fortunate and curb the excess. 381 00:13:49,868 --> 00:13:51,683 Maybe when you're done here, you can talk to Noah. 382 00:13:51,701 --> 00:13:53,347 His lifestyle is insane. 383 00:13:53,378 --> 00:13:54,617 And the worst part of it is, 384 00:13:54,673 --> 00:13:56,644 he expects everyone else to cater to him. 385 00:13:56,675 --> 00:13:58,802 This is the second run I've made for new sheets. 386 00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,473 Apparently, the ones I bought yesterday... 387 00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:02,237 they weren't up to his lofty standards. 388 00:14:02,268 --> 00:14:04,442 Careful. Those are gateway sheets. 389 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:06,629 That's exactly how it started with Dalia. 390 00:14:06,664 --> 00:14:08,362 At first it was small things... 391 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,377 designer diapers, toddler tanning bed, 392 00:14:11,408 --> 00:14:13,899 then the next thing you know, you're standing in J.F.K., 393 00:14:13,911 --> 00:14:15,594 trying to explain to U.S. customs 394 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,159 why you're smuggling half a dozen baby leopards 395 00:14:18,178 --> 00:14:19,173 into the country... 396 00:14:19,229 --> 00:14:21,432 none of whom survived the flight. 397 00:14:21,438 --> 00:14:22,858 So heed my warning 398 00:14:22,978 --> 00:14:24,304 and draw some boundaries. 399 00:14:24,424 --> 00:14:26,605 I know, but my heart goes out to the guy. 400 00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:28,132 You remember how tough it is 401 00:14:28,157 --> 00:14:30,028 when you first start doing it on your own. 402 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,705 I do, but the sooner he can stand 403 00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:33,438 on his own two feet, the better. 404 00:14:33,882 --> 00:14:35,165 You taught me that. 405 00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:36,579 - Did I? - Mm-hmm. 406 00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:37,987 You know what? You are right. 407 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,139 I...I thought I was helping him, 408 00:14:40,139 --> 00:14:42,223 but really, I'm... I'm just enabling him. 409 00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:45,859 And you need to disable him like I'm about to disable Dalia. 410 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,762 Hey, you want me to send these sheets to Fatmire? 411 00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:49,425 Um... 412 00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:52,841 you know, for a 14-year-old girl, 413 00:14:52,904 --> 00:14:55,881 she looks a hell of a lot like Alan Rickman, doesn't she? 414 00:15:00,124 --> 00:15:01,369 (Whispers) Psst. Tessa. 415 00:15:01,425 --> 00:15:03,652 (Chuckles) Big news. 416 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,474 Todd is following me. 417 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,782 - That's great. - Yeah. I'm one step closer. 418 00:15:08,082 --> 00:15:08,846 Congrats. 419 00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:10,616 I owe it all to you. 420 00:15:10,736 --> 00:15:11,749 I'm trying to study. 421 00:15:11,805 --> 00:15:13,300 Okay, well, study me. Study this. 422 00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:15,439 Look, Mr. Shay, I was late to school yesterday 423 00:15:15,464 --> 00:15:16,672 trying to help you prepare, 424 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,713 and now I'm trying to make up for the work I missed, so... 425 00:15:19,932 --> 00:15:21,108 How 'bout this? 426 00:15:21,146 --> 00:15:22,696 You help me tweet something awesome, 427 00:15:22,703 --> 00:15:24,317 and you'll never have to work a day in your life. 428 00:15:24,329 --> 00:15:26,431 If I get this job, all your needs will be met. 429 00:15:26,437 --> 00:15:29,284 I wanna meet my own needs, and so should you. 430 00:15:29,404 --> 00:15:31,455 (Sighs) Okay. Well, at least let me know 431 00:15:31,448 --> 00:15:33,088 what you think of my tweet so far. (Paper rustles) 432 00:15:33,438 --> 00:15:35,471 "Something, something, #awesome," space, 433 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:37,786 "#youknowi'mright!" 434 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,014 I'm still circling what "#awesome" thing 435 00:15:41,058 --> 00:15:44,218 I might be right about, now it's either phone chargers, 436 00:15:44,249 --> 00:15:46,570 midtown, or colace, which is a fantastic 437 00:15:46,576 --> 00:15:48,178 ♪water-based stool softener. 438 00:15:48,935 --> 00:15:50,359 Can I ask you something? 439 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,708 What if you get this job? What then? 440 00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:56,149 What if you convince Todd 441 00:15:56,161 --> 00:15:58,214 that you are a media-savvy hipster 442 00:15:58,226 --> 00:15:59,502 with a fully charged phone 443 00:15:59,508 --> 00:16:02,157 and... the softest B.Ms in midtown? 444 00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:04,175 How you gonna keep it up? 445 00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:05,321 I just will. 446 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:06,828 (Door closes) 447 00:16:07,173 --> 00:16:08,830 (George) Noah? 448 00:16:09,164 --> 00:16:11,573 There he is! My sheets man! 449 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,156 What the hell happened in here? 450 00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:15,433 Oh. I ordered in. 451 00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:16,503 It's just like room service, 452 00:16:16,515 --> 00:16:18,217 except no one comes to clear it away. 453 00:16:18,254 --> 00:16:20,525 So I'm calling a trash removal service. 454 00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:22,346 They should be here within the hour. 455 00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,817 Anything you wanna get rid of? They have a 45-pound minimum. 456 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,093 How much do you weigh? 457 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,432 Is that a fat joke? 458 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,334 Because I bought this for everyone. 459 00:16:29,328 --> 00:16:30,854 No. Look, man, I... 460 00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:33,338 I...I feel like I'm doing you a disservice. 461 00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:35,127 Well, I wasn't gonna complain, 462 00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:38,074 but I did expect you hours ago with those sheets. 463 00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:40,364 I wanted to give you someplace to crash, 464 00:16:40,383 --> 00:16:42,867 but you're crash-and-burning. You need to get it together. 465 00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:46,927 You need to step up and find some place where Opus can sleep 466 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,430 where he's not gonna get banana peppers on him. 467 00:16:50,024 --> 00:16:50,963 (Scoffs) 468 00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,833 I'm not saying it has to have a picket fence and a window box, 469 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:55,334 but something. 470 00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:57,003 Figure it out. 471 00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:58,171 So what are you saying? 472 00:16:58,205 --> 00:16:59,640 I'm saying I think you should go. 473 00:16:59,673 --> 00:17:02,643 There it is. Wow. Unbelievable. 474 00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:04,589 I'm sorry... remind me again, 475 00:17:04,645 --> 00:17:06,428 who was there for you when Alex left? 476 00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:09,188 My downstairs neighbor, Rob Buchman. 477 00:17:09,308 --> 00:17:10,545 That's right. 478 00:17:10,558 --> 00:17:13,598 Rob Buchman. That's been driving me crazy. 479 00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:15,619 (Laughs) Maybe I should call him! 480 00:17:15,687 --> 00:17:17,190 Maybe you should. 481 00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:18,779 Fine. 482 00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:20,707 Why don't you give me the name of your packing service 483 00:17:20,712 --> 00:17:23,329 and pull my car around, and we'll get out of your hair? 484 00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:35,833 Letting go of your childhood 485 00:17:35,858 --> 00:17:38,943 is a necessary step towards becoming an adult. 486 00:17:39,487 --> 00:17:41,420 All right. 487 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:44,549 And becoming an adult is a necessary step 488 00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:46,169 when you are parenting a child. 489 00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:49,279 This is teamwork. Good job, buddy. 490 00:17:49,298 --> 00:17:52,176 But when the lines get blurry, and you find yourself parenting 491 00:17:52,195 --> 00:17:54,053 your middle-aged next-door neighbor... 492 00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:55,192 (Doorbell rings) 493 00:17:55,235 --> 00:17:57,569 The next step is a little less clear. 494 00:17:57,557 --> 00:17:58,827 - Tessa. - Mr. Shay. 495 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,128 I found your wheelys on the curb, 496 00:18:00,128 --> 00:18:01,767 and I didn't know what to think. 497 00:18:02,192 --> 00:18:05,595 But it looks like you're back to your old self again. 498 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,178 You followed my advice. 499 00:18:07,184 --> 00:18:08,780 No. I did no such thing. 500 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,694 I fell down three flights of stairs 501 00:18:10,737 --> 00:18:13,278 on those infernal contraptions and broke Todd's collarbone. 502 00:18:13,284 --> 00:18:15,367 One of my earholes developed a keloid, 503 00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,013 and I didn't get the promotion. 504 00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:20,053 But the good news is, I lost my existing job... 505 00:18:20,103 --> 00:18:21,661 as well as a portion of my earlobe. 506 00:18:21,781 --> 00:18:22,949 That's the good news? 507 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:26,433 Yes. Because my loss was Sheila's gain. 508 00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:28,980 She grew like a wild carrot 509 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,233 in the fertile dung of my failure. 510 00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:34,197 More failure, Fred? 511 00:18:34,254 --> 00:18:35,805 I'm sorry. Filet. 512 00:18:35,805 --> 00:18:38,089 Of sole... crushing failure. 513 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,467 Yes, please. 514 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:41,712 (Scrapes) 515 00:18:41,832 --> 00:18:43,976 I'm sorry I didn't get the job. 516 00:18:44,096 --> 00:18:46,548 I'm not like you. I don't have your fury. 517 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,393 You're a lioness. And I'm... 518 00:18:48,456 --> 00:18:50,189 The guys who gets the coffee for the lioness? 519 00:18:50,309 --> 00:18:51,290 Exactly. 520 00:18:51,410 --> 00:18:53,192 Say, maybe you should stay home with the kids, 521 00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:55,306 and I should join the workforce. 522 00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:56,526 Are you trying to have it all? 523 00:18:56,576 --> 00:18:58,604 Because I thought we'd agreed that we'd each have some. 524 00:18:58,648 --> 00:19:00,687 Oh, come on, Fred, you said it yourself... 525 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,239 I'm a lioness. 526 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,687 Maybe I should be bringing home the gazelle. 527 00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:07,858 And what would I do? 528 00:19:07,978 --> 00:19:09,679 Come up with a side dish for gazelle. 529 00:19:10,592 --> 00:19:12,807 You don't really need a side dish for gazelle. 530 00:19:12,863 --> 00:19:15,153 It's a very rich, flavorful meat. 531 00:19:15,273 --> 00:19:17,368 But I'm doing a minted couscous, nonetheless. 532 00:19:17,488 --> 00:19:18,989 Well, that sounds delightful. 533 00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,666 Oh, it will be. 534 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,373 I've never been happier. 535 00:19:22,493 --> 00:19:23,793 Sheila's out pounding the pavement, 536 00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:26,515 and I'm home pounding the cutlets. (Chuckles) 537 00:19:26,635 --> 00:19:28,304 I even let my phone die... 538 00:19:28,424 --> 00:19:30,181 along with my dreams. (Chuckles) 539 00:19:30,301 --> 00:19:33,065 J.K. #notreally. 540 00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:35,104 (Pounds) 541 00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,543 Dalia, I'm impressed. 542 00:19:36,663 --> 00:19:39,434 You scaled way back and got organized. 543 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:40,566 Yeah. 544 00:19:40,572 --> 00:19:43,658 And I found a lot of things I was missing when I cleaned up. 545 00:19:45,247 --> 00:19:46,661 Like penuche. 546 00:19:46,711 --> 00:19:48,945 Oh, my gosh. He looks hungry. 547 00:19:48,951 --> 00:19:50,021 He shouldn't be. 548 00:19:50,052 --> 00:19:52,900 He ate 15 pairs of my espadrilles... 549 00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:56,047 not that I needed 15 pairs of espadrilles. 550 00:19:56,078 --> 00:19:57,736 Exactly. Thattagirl. 551 00:19:58,421 --> 00:20:01,765 Now can we take down the portrait of Alan Rickman? 552 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,628 (Blender whirring) 553 00:20:16,272 --> 00:20:17,739 (Whirring stops) 554 00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:19,690 Hi, neighbor! 555 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,519 (Sighs) 556 00:20:27,798 --> 00:20:30,539 Noah? What... what's going on? 557 00:20:30,789 --> 00:20:33,254 (Whirring resumes) Margaritas! That's what's going on! 558 00:20:33,374 --> 00:20:35,400 (Laughs) (Whirring stops) 559 00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:37,514 I'm having a housewarming. (Lid clangs) 560 00:20:37,565 --> 00:20:41,651 O-okay, but you... you know, you can't live in a playhouse. 561 00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:46,537 One man's playhouse is another man's real house. 562 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,546 - Okay. - Peter Dinklage said that. 563 00:20:50,278 --> 00:20:54,433 J.K... Peter Dinklage lives in a normal-sized house. 564 00:20:54,426 --> 00:20:57,573 (Sighs) Anyway, I found a sublet. 565 00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:58,987 We're moving in next week. 566 00:20:59,012 --> 00:21:00,507 It has its own washer and dryer, 567 00:21:00,507 --> 00:21:02,672 so apparently Opus and I 568 00:21:02,666 --> 00:21:06,776 will be learning how to use a washer and dryer. 569 00:21:07,114 --> 00:21:10,011 Well, if Rob Buchman doesn't return your call, 570 00:21:10,029 --> 00:21:11,531 I'd be happy to teach you. 571 00:21:11,762 --> 00:21:15,153 I've kind of become a...a laundry expert over the years. 572 00:21:15,222 --> 00:21:17,493 Do you mind if I leave this playhouse here... 573 00:21:17,962 --> 00:21:19,989 For Opus, until I get my own yard? 574 00:21:20,058 --> 00:21:21,478 Of, course, man. 575 00:21:21,598 --> 00:21:23,324 (Car horn honks) 576 00:21:25,933 --> 00:21:28,310 (Whirring) 577 00:21:28,344 --> 00:21:31,308 Probably shouldn't let him drink and drive. 578 00:21:31,483 --> 00:21:33,379 I'm teasing. It's non-alcoholic. 579 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:36,551 Don't tell him. He likes to feel like a big man. 580 00:21:40,993 --> 00:21:45,279 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -