1
00:00:00,610 --> 00:00:02,886
Tessa: They say he who
is content with the least
2
00:00:02,925 --> 00:00:04,145
is the richest of all.
3
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,944
If that's true, then Opus
4
00:00:05,952 --> 00:00:07,954
and the newly divorced Noah Werner
5
00:00:07,993 --> 00:00:09,796
were completely destitute.
6
00:00:09,916 --> 00:00:12,117
But living large came at a price...
7
00:00:12,151 --> 00:00:14,391
A price steeper than the $50 oatmeal...
8
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,134
(Laughs)
9
00:00:15,157 --> 00:00:16,917
Hey, you want a duck?
10
00:00:16,918 --> 00:00:18,458
Steeper than the bath Butler...
11
00:00:18,473 --> 00:00:19,658
Yes.
12
00:00:20,076 --> 00:00:22,809
Steeper than the premium tuck-in service.
13
00:00:23,135 --> 00:00:24,978
- A price that, from under the drape...
- Mm.
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Of the custom blackout drapes,
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00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,764
he never saw coming.
16
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(Feet marching)
17
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(Exhales)
18
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,379
Whoa.
19
00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:43,303
He... hello... ladies.
20
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:45,969
To what do I owe this... home invasion?
21
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,589
Seriously, I haven't seen
the Chatswin mom militia
22
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,029
out in force for quite some time.
23
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We're here about Opus. Opus Werner.
24
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Ah.
25
00:01:00,711 --> 00:01:01,737
Spot of tea, George?
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00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,439
I'm good.
27
00:01:03,473 --> 00:01:05,207
Then I'll cut to the chase.
28
00:01:07,037 --> 00:01:09,735
Noah has Opus living like a pagan...
29
00:01:09,855 --> 00:01:11,291
in a hotel.
30
00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:12,433
So?
31
00:01:12,449 --> 00:01:14,851
Are you deliberately being
obtuse right now, George?
32
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Children should be raised in
a respectable 3-bedroom home.
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With a picket fence.
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00:01:18,401 --> 00:01:19,535
And window boxes.
35
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:22,210
Where Noah is living
is none of our business.
36
00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:24,635
And by ours, I mean yours.
37
00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:26,199
So maybe...
38
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,442
stand down?
39
00:01:27,489 --> 00:01:29,233
Stand down? (Scoffs)
40
00:01:29,353 --> 00:01:30,633
I see.
41
00:01:30,672 --> 00:01:33,738
Did former Secretary of
State Hillary Rodham Clinton
42
00:01:33,754 --> 00:01:35,819
stand down when she penned her 1996
43
00:01:35,865 --> 00:01:37,555
"New York Times" bestseller?
44
00:01:38,157 --> 00:01:39,369
I'm... gonna guess "no"?
45
00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:42,051
It takes a village, George,
and we're the village people.
46
00:01:42,059 --> 00:01:43,687
Noah is going through a divorce.
47
00:01:43,726 --> 00:01:46,651
You have to give him time
to... iron out the details.
48
00:01:46,687 --> 00:01:48,582
Having raised a child as a single dad,
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00:01:48,622 --> 00:01:50,741
I assure you, it can be done.
50
00:01:50,749 --> 00:01:53,572
Well, bravo to all you single parents.
51
00:01:53,588 --> 00:01:55,644
What an idiot I am.
52
00:01:55,652 --> 00:01:57,669
I struggled to keep my marriage intact,
53
00:01:57,670 --> 00:02:00,054
gave up any theoretical,
exciting career plans,
54
00:02:00,055 --> 00:02:02,542
and stayed home to cook
meals for my children.
55
00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:04,490
But apparently, I could
have been raising them
56
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:05,366
on room service.
57
00:02:05,389 --> 00:02:07,335
You know what?
I... I appreciate your concern,
58
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,159
and I'm sure Noah does, too. But...
59
00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:12,271
This is more than concern.
60
00:02:12,391 --> 00:02:14,993
If you won't do something,
the village people will.
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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[Alih Jey] ♪ Last night I
had a pleasant nightmare ♪
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00:02:23,431 --> 00:02:26,431
2x18
Brown Trembler
64
00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:29,221
I'll admit living in
a tight-knit community
65
00:02:29,222 --> 00:02:30,716
could be oppressive at times,
66
00:02:30,853 --> 00:02:33,755
but that was what made Chatswin
such a safe place to live.
67
00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:34,513
Aah!
68
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,260
Now be a good girl and let me in,
69
00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:38,471
or so help me, I will break the glass.
70
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:39,895
(Exhales) Okay.
71
00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:42,195
(Latch clicks)
72
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,001
Mr. Shay, what is wrong with you?
73
00:02:44,009 --> 00:02:46,738
Well, that's what I need you to tell me.
74
00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:50,054
It all started this morning
when I was leaving for work.
75
00:02:51,524 --> 00:02:52,822
Have a great day.
76
00:02:52,942 --> 00:02:54,301
No, you have a great day, Fred.
77
00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,389
You have a great, great day.
78
00:02:56,412 --> 00:02:58,069
(Chuckles)
79
00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,658
Let go of my lunch.
80
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:01,338
What's in here? I want it!
81
00:03:01,339 --> 00:03:02,379
Oh, yeah?
82
00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:05,156
Well, there's something I want.
83
00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:09,035
I don't know if I wanna hear this story.
84
00:03:09,082 --> 00:03:10,810
Oh, are you worried there's gonna be sex?
85
00:03:11,045 --> 00:03:13,876
Don't be. There's never any
sex in any of my stories.
86
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:16,901
There's an opening, Fred,
a really juicy opening.
87
00:03:16,902 --> 00:03:18,380
I want you to move on it
88
00:03:18,419 --> 00:03:21,188
and slide in there
before someone else does.
89
00:03:22,087 --> 00:03:23,487
This is it, Fred.
90
00:03:23,526 --> 00:03:26,011
This is your chance to
get back on the sales team
91
00:03:26,012 --> 00:03:26,896
where you belong.
92
00:03:26,897 --> 00:03:29,039
Oh, but, Sheila, sales is so cutthroat,
93
00:03:29,086 --> 00:03:30,189
competitive.
94
00:03:30,212 --> 00:03:32,003
As a junior secretary,
I know where I stand.
95
00:03:32,035 --> 00:03:33,106
My blood pressure's down.
96
00:03:33,107 --> 00:03:34,623
I even have my own catchphrase...
97
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:36,422
"Anybody need anything?"
98
00:03:36,453 --> 00:03:38,617
That's not a catchphrase.
That's the sound a man makes
99
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,426
when he's bringing home
half the salary he used to.
100
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:42,710
Now you take this Waldorf salad sandwich
101
00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:44,429
and you go get that job!
102
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,174
Go get it! Go get 'em!
103
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:47,652
Go get 'em!
104
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,146
Okay.
105
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:49,975
Seriously, go get it.
106
00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:51,499
- Go. Go get it.
- Oh. Sorry. Right.
107
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,728
Okay. Well, then what are you doing here?
108
00:03:53,752 --> 00:03:55,916
It sounds like you should
be out getting that job.
109
00:03:55,917 --> 00:03:57,123
Well, I want to.
110
00:03:57,138 --> 00:03:58,311
But the new sales manager, Todd,
111
00:03:58,343 --> 00:04:00,345
thinks anyone over 30 is a dinosaur.
112
00:04:00,353 --> 00:04:01,503
Now I know what you're thinking...
113
00:04:01,504 --> 00:04:03,497
dinosaurs are awesome. Agreed.
114
00:04:03,617 --> 00:04:06,023
But apparently, in Todd's world, not so.
115
00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:09,433
Please, Tessa. He's young
and he's from Manhattan.
116
00:04:09,621 --> 00:04:11,356
Teach me your urban ways.
117
00:04:11,357 --> 00:04:13,867
(Huffs) I don't really have any "ways."
118
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,769
Well, then, at least tell me
what I need to feel current.
119
00:04:16,784 --> 00:04:17,840
Uh...
120
00:04:17,848 --> 00:04:19,756
Oh... do... do I need one of these?
121
00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:20,921
If your phone is dying.
122
00:04:20,937 --> 00:04:22,540
Okay, well, let's just assume that it is.
123
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,894
Uh, Mr. shay, instead of demonstrating
124
00:04:25,895 --> 00:04:27,647
your phone-charging capabilities,
125
00:04:27,663 --> 00:04:31,343
have you considered emphasizing
your vast sales experience?
126
00:04:31,346 --> 00:04:32,965
(Chuckles) Sales experience?
127
00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:35,217
(Sighs)
128
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,572
Judy Walker was the most
experienced sales rep we had.
129
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,841
She got fired because she
didn't know who Katie Holmes was.
130
00:04:41,873 --> 00:04:44,883
And God save my wretched
soul, Tessa, neither do I.
131
00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:47,410
Please. You have to help me.
132
00:04:47,605 --> 00:04:51,015
Well, I... do know who Katie Holmes is.
133
00:04:51,054 --> 00:04:53,412
I knew it! Thank you, lord.
134
00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:55,819
Meanwhile, Dallas was about to take on
135
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,201
a new project of her own.
136
00:04:57,202 --> 00:04:59,422
Dalia's appetite for material things
137
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,868
was becoming a nightmare.
138
00:05:00,892 --> 00:05:02,589
(Gasps)
139
00:05:02,777 --> 00:05:04,495
(Horror theme playing)
140
00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,211
What in blue blazers is going on in here?
141
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,478
(Hinges creak) (Gasps)
142
00:05:08,494 --> 00:05:09,886
What's the problem, mommy?
143
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:13,070
Dalia, this closet is bursting at the seams
144
00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:15,258
like a Christina Aguilera dress,
145
00:05:15,292 --> 00:05:16,791
which is not a comment on her weight,
146
00:05:16,823 --> 00:05:18,778
but rather on the tightness of her attire.
147
00:05:18,809 --> 00:05:21,063
I know. She really crams it in there.
148
00:05:21,131 --> 00:05:22,891
Just like me with my closet.
149
00:05:22,892 --> 00:05:24,026
I need a bigger one.
150
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,895
We have enlarged the closets
in your room four times already,
151
00:05:26,896 --> 00:05:28,515
and they were generous to begin with.
152
00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:29,868
Enough is enough.
153
00:05:29,884 --> 00:05:31,721
It's just my stuff, mommy.
154
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,170
Dalia, this closet is an embarrassment.
155
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,688
And you're gonna spend the
rest of the day organizing it,
156
00:05:36,689 --> 00:05:39,566
do you hear me? Now if
you need storage space,
157
00:05:39,761 --> 00:05:41,935
you can always put some
things under your...
158
00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:44,806
(Gasps)
(Laughter)
159
00:05:45,009 --> 00:05:46,737
Dalia Oprah...
160
00:05:46,857 --> 00:05:48,011
you're a hoarder.
161
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,873
Get out of my room.
162
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,095
What's in the trunk?
163
00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:55,347
Don't. Mommy, no.
164
00:05:55,363 --> 00:05:57,240
Aah! Aah!
165
00:05:57,485 --> 00:05:58,991
Look at all these purses!
166
00:05:59,111 --> 00:06:01,337
Who in their right mind
needs this many purses?
167
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,878
(Demonic voice) I do.
168
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:05,638
(Gasps) Look here, Dalia!
169
00:06:05,646 --> 00:06:07,171
There is a very thin line
170
00:06:07,187 --> 00:06:08,843
between you and those cray-cray people
171
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,510
who live in homes full of newspaper.
172
00:06:10,542 --> 00:06:12,200
And just 'cause these items are expensive
173
00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:14,303
doesn't change the fact
that you're hoarding them.
174
00:06:14,423 --> 00:06:17,509
And hoarding is greedy and
ungracious. You hear me?
175
00:06:17,564 --> 00:06:19,394
It's time to make some tough decisions.
176
00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:22,021
You need to get rid of all
the stuff that you don't need,
177
00:06:22,141 --> 00:06:23,810
or I'll do it for you.
178
00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:28,262
Well, I just stopped by to, you know,
179
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,748
see how everybody's doing.
180
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,054
Never better, George.
(Bottle cap fizzes)
181
00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:33,783
Never better.
(Nipple squeaks)
182
00:06:33,903 --> 00:06:37,020
This place is not only
meeting our needs... (Cooing)
183
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,304
it is anticipating our wants...
184
00:06:39,758 --> 00:06:42,104
around-the-clock room service,
185
00:06:42,224 --> 00:06:43,488
in-room massage,
186
00:06:43,608 --> 00:06:44,956
twice-a-day maid service,
187
00:06:44,957 --> 00:06:46,077
and the best part about it,
188
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,946
I'm putting it all on my platinum card.
189
00:06:48,368 --> 00:06:49,776
Miles, George.
190
00:06:49,799 --> 00:06:51,402
Great. Great.
191
00:06:51,449 --> 00:06:54,718
(Opus coos) But, uh, what...
what's the long-term plan?
192
00:06:54,976 --> 00:06:57,197
I mean, you can't... you
can't live in a hotel forever.
193
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,105
Or can I?
194
00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:00,927
Howard Hughes did so quite nicely,
195
00:07:00,974 --> 00:07:02,526
as did James Woods.
196
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,261
Khloe and Lamar.
197
00:07:04,295 --> 00:07:07,058
Right, but they weren't
raising small children.
198
00:07:07,105 --> 00:07:09,123
Right. Well...
199
00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:13,102
God's honest, I'm... not
entirely liquid at the moment.
200
00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:14,871
I'm having some cash flow issues.
201
00:07:15,105 --> 00:07:17,379
(Chuckles) Mommy and
her divorce lawyer
202
00:07:17,381 --> 00:07:18,923
- haven't missed a trick.
- (Knock on door)
203
00:07:19,618 --> 00:07:21,690
(Cooing)
204
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,449
Where are my nuggets?
205
00:07:26,187 --> 00:07:29,049
I'm sorry, Mr. Werner, but
it has come to my attention
206
00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:30,441
that you've been conducting yourself
207
00:07:30,442 --> 00:07:32,327
in a manner that makes it impossible
208
00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:34,689
for you to continue to
stay at our facility.
209
00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:36,348
Whoa. What's he talking about?
210
00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:39,030
- I have no idea.
- Don't you?
211
00:07:39,343 --> 00:07:43,355
He's been romancing more than
one member of our service staff.
212
00:07:44,937 --> 00:07:46,475
You've been having sex with housekeeping?
213
00:07:46,491 --> 00:07:48,938
- Absolutely not!
- I did not say those words.
214
00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:51,199
I said he was "romancing" them...
215
00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:53,387
- Which he has been.
- Come on!
216
00:07:53,688 --> 00:07:55,827
I'm not allowed to tell Rosa...
217
00:07:56,415 --> 00:07:57,442
That I love her?
218
00:07:57,562 --> 00:07:59,613
No, sir. No, you are not,
219
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:02,378
particularly if you're going to
say the same thing to Marilyn.
220
00:08:02,379 --> 00:08:04,044
But I do love Marilyn.
221
00:08:04,164 --> 00:08:05,408
I love them both.
222
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:08,023
And I love Dottie for bringing
me fresh pineapple by the pool.
223
00:08:08,036 --> 00:08:10,439
And I love Cynthia. Oh, my God, I love her.
224
00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:12,372
She makes my dinner
reservation every night at 7:00.
225
00:08:12,397 --> 00:08:14,974
The service floor is in chaos, sir.
226
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,976
Fighting. Hair-pulling.
227
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:18,515
Tears.
228
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,382
I'm afraid I'm going to
have to invite you to leave.
229
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,745
Wait a minute.
230
00:08:23,865 --> 00:08:26,636
Okay, you're kicking me out
for loving the service here?
231
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:27,593
Precisely right.
232
00:08:28,037 --> 00:08:30,796
I've taken the liberty
of preparing your bill.
233
00:08:34,525 --> 00:08:35,370
Whoa!
234
00:08:35,408 --> 00:08:38,129
Yeah. But as I said, I get the miles.
235
00:08:38,249 --> 00:08:42,347
Still, that is really a lot.
236
00:08:44,311 --> 00:08:46,551
George, could you tip the man, please?
237
00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:55,808
Listen, I love a good V.V.
as much as the next juicer.
238
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:57,317
Don't say "juicer."
239
00:08:57,529 --> 00:08:58,774
I love a good V. V...
240
00:08:58,781 --> 00:09:00,381
Wait. What's a V.V. again?
241
00:09:00,382 --> 00:09:02,672
Viral video, right? I
thought you taught me that.
242
00:09:02,691 --> 00:09:04,688
No. I've never heard that phrase.
243
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,327
But it's fine. Continue.
244
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:08,354
(Crunching) Okay. Um, right.
245
00:09:08,665 --> 00:09:11,125
I love a good V.V. as
much as the next web head,
246
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:12,815
but that jam was fin
247
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:15,023
as soon as it left Gangnam. Opp?
248
00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:15,874
Opp?
249
00:09:15,887 --> 00:09:17,601
It's from the song. I think it's Korean.
250
00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:18,840
Anyway... opp?
251
00:09:18,871 --> 00:09:21,173
Then I whip out my
charger, charge my phone,
252
00:09:21,174 --> 00:09:22,225
and I close with,
253
00:09:22,282 --> 00:09:24,859
Chatswin is so ghetto.
254
00:09:24,979 --> 00:09:27,368
Uh... honestly,
255
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,495
I don't think we're quite there.
256
00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:31,554
How much time do we have?
257
00:09:31,585 --> 00:09:34,201
None. I've got 15
minutes to wheely to work.
258
00:09:34,238 --> 00:09:37,854
All right. Um, maybe just lose the wheelys,
259
00:09:37,904 --> 00:09:40,669
and change "ghetto" to "midtown."
260
00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:42,603
And get a little
bacitracin for that earlobe.
261
00:09:42,647 --> 00:09:44,511
All right. Thanks.
262
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,410
- Mommy.
- (Gasps)
263
00:09:49,941 --> 00:09:51,505
What are you doing with my lambo?
264
00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:54,295
Dalia, step off. I told you point-blank
265
00:09:54,308 --> 00:09:56,415
if you didn't fill those
boxes I left in your room,
266
00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:57,542
I'd fill 'em for you.
267
00:09:57,662 --> 00:09:59,200
Now I'm just getting
rid of the kid stuff...
268
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,983
things you haven't touched in years.
269
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,385
You haven't been touched in years.
270
00:10:02,786 --> 00:10:04,268
Dalia, you're lashing out.
271
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,954
That's my first lambo, mommy.
272
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:07,578
It only has 10,000 miles on it.
273
00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:08,904
You can't give it away.
274
00:10:08,905 --> 00:10:11,600
And I bet you'd say the same
thing about your play mansion...
275
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:14,291
- I would.
- And those two toddler-size helicopters
276
00:10:14,292 --> 00:10:15,399
- parked on the roof.
- Mm-hmm.
277
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,846
But those items would make
very charitable donations.
278
00:10:17,871 --> 00:10:20,061
I don't see you giving
any of your stuff away.
279
00:10:20,092 --> 00:10:23,213
Not so. Look at those
boxes by the front door.
280
00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:25,766
I'm gettin' rid of all
my adult dress-up clothes.
281
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,643
George isn't into role-playing,
282
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:31,197
so I no longer need my
crotchless firefighter outfit.
283
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,755
Now it's your turn to
get rid of some things
284
00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:35,332
that you haven't played with,
285
00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:37,109
like that lambo...
286
00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:38,298
I'm playing with it, mommy.
287
00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:39,994
I'm playing with it right now.
288
00:10:40,114 --> 00:10:42,289
(Whirring)
289
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,497
Noah: George!
290
00:10:43,547 --> 00:10:44,317
Yeah?
291
00:10:44,367 --> 00:10:45,368
Again, buddy,
292
00:10:45,369 --> 00:10:48,284
I can't thank you enough
for agreeing to put us up.
293
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,943
Yeah. No... no problem, man.
294
00:10:50,987 --> 00:10:53,195
I just wanna see you get back on your feet.
295
00:10:53,396 --> 00:10:55,423
Yes. I cannot wait to get off my feet.
296
00:10:55,473 --> 00:10:56,311
Oh.
297
00:10:56,431 --> 00:10:58,951
Right. Okay, well, you
know where the kitchen is.
298
00:10:58,982 --> 00:10:59,815
Help yourself.
299
00:10:59,871 --> 00:11:01,379
Just let us know what's on your lunch menu,
300
00:11:01,398 --> 00:11:02,698
and any lighter fare you might have
301
00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:04,331
for when we're playing outside.
302
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:06,427
The pull-out couch is all made up for you.
303
00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:09,362
Look at that.
304
00:11:09,482 --> 00:11:11,902
We're gonna be as comfy
as a couple of motel 6-ers.
305
00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,716
Hmm? Yeah. Ow.
306
00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:16,062
Something wrong?
(Opus coos)
307
00:11:16,182 --> 00:11:17,689
No. (Smacks lips)
308
00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:20,142
All right, I'm a little worried
309
00:11:20,204 --> 00:11:22,338
that Opus and I might bleed to death
310
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,225
from the million little cuts
311
00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:26,530
that we're going to get
from these rough sheets.
312
00:11:26,714 --> 00:11:28,576
Look, we've already been through so much.
313
00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:30,484
Fine. I'll see what else we have.
314
00:11:30,497 --> 00:11:33,681
So we're looking for someone
who understands young urbanites.
315
00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:35,683
Our product targets twenty-somethings
316
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:37,277
who struggle with lethargy during the day,
317
00:11:37,327 --> 00:11:39,311
caused by insomnia at night.
318
00:11:39,361 --> 00:11:41,131
Sleep when we're dead. Am I right?
319
00:11:41,156 --> 00:11:42,476
I hope not.
320
00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:45,565
Uh, their circadian rhythms
are being confused by...
321
00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:46,592
Arcade Fire.
322
00:11:46,805 --> 00:11:48,194
- What?
- 'Cause I know what that is.
323
00:11:48,195 --> 00:11:49,739
And that is a band.
(Chuckles)
324
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:52,718
Right. But it's not Arcade Fire.
325
00:11:52,906 --> 00:11:53,976
Uh, our research shows it's...
326
00:11:53,995 --> 00:11:55,665
Katie Holmes? Katie Bosworth?
327
00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,742
Katie Middleton? Katie Upton?
328
00:11:57,862 --> 00:11:58,887
Cat Daddy? Wanna Cat Daddy?
329
00:11:58,888 --> 00:12:01,884
♪
330
00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:02,928
No.
331
00:12:03,048 --> 00:12:05,243
Uh, I... I do not. I don't.
332
00:12:05,269 --> 00:12:06,295
Oh? Yeah.
333
00:12:06,364 --> 00:12:07,327
Okay.
334
00:12:07,447 --> 00:12:09,336
Um, anyways, it's light.
335
00:12:09,456 --> 00:12:12,477
Oh. Ooh. Yeah. Light from
cell phones and monitors,
336
00:12:12,483 --> 00:12:13,559
and various other gadgets,
337
00:12:13,597 --> 00:12:15,780
which is exactly how
we intend to reach them,
338
00:12:15,786 --> 00:12:16,994
through our social media campaign.
339
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,977
- O.M.G.
- Yeah.
340
00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:21,654
I can't believe you just
said "social media campaign."
341
00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:23,987
Because I'm antisocial socially,
342
00:12:23,988 --> 00:12:26,666
but I'm super social social-medially.
343
00:12:26,786 --> 00:12:29,893
Uh, in fact, I would say
social media is my main...
344
00:12:29,894 --> 00:12:30,964
Hey, hold on. Do you mind
345
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,198
if I just charge my phone real quick?
346
00:12:33,636 --> 00:12:35,257
- I just wanna charge it all up...
- Yeah.
347
00:12:35,269 --> 00:12:37,653
- 'Cause dead phones are ghetto.
- (Beeps)
348
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:38,698
Sure.
349
00:12:38,711 --> 00:12:39,968
Yeah. Anyway, where were we?
350
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,277
You were saying how active
you are on social media.
351
00:12:42,284 --> 00:12:43,660
- Mm.
- So you tweet?
352
00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:45,362
Like a brown trembler.
353
00:12:45,575 --> 00:12:47,845
Great. Well, you're
obviously very experienced
354
00:12:47,846 --> 00:12:49,153
in the pharmaceutical sales field,
355
00:12:49,154 --> 00:12:51,293
- Yep. Mm-hmm.
- And I can see you're extremely passionate.
356
00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:52,319
Oh, yeah.
357
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,620
Todd, I love you,
358
00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:55,860
and I will love on you if I get this job,
359
00:12:55,885 --> 00:12:57,787
which I would love...
(Laughs)
360
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,414
Okay. Bro.
361
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,309
Okay. Well, how about this...
362
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:03,550
I will follow you on Twitter,
363
00:13:03,594 --> 00:13:04,914
and if I like what I see,
364
00:13:05,733 --> 00:13:08,235
uh, you'll hear something
by the end of the week.
365
00:13:08,269 --> 00:13:09,255
(Gasps)
366
00:13:09,274 --> 00:13:10,804
(Gulps)
367
00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:17,812
There.
368
00:13:17,837 --> 00:13:20,990
Now, instead of lookin' at
herself bathed in prosperity,
369
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,005
Dalia can gaze upon Fatmire...
370
00:13:23,074 --> 00:13:25,145
an Albanian orphan who has nothin'.
371
00:13:25,163 --> 00:13:26,001
Oh.
372
00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:27,665
Imagine what a girl like Fatmire
373
00:13:27,696 --> 00:13:28,986
would do with that toy lambo.
374
00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:30,473
Uh, drag it into the next village
375
00:13:30,474 --> 00:13:31,852
and trade it for clean water?
376
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,734
Hmm.
377
00:13:33,184 --> 00:13:35,794
Seems like a lot of
legwork for poor Fatmire.
378
00:13:35,825 --> 00:13:37,183
You know what, baby? I think it's great
379
00:13:37,201 --> 00:13:39,653
that you're trying to educate Dalia
380
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:41,967
about those less fortunate
and curb the excess.
381
00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:43,783
Maybe when you're done
here, you can talk to Noah.
382
00:13:43,801 --> 00:13:45,447
His lifestyle is insane.
383
00:13:45,478 --> 00:13:46,717
And the worst part of it is,
384
00:13:46,773 --> 00:13:48,744
he expects everyone else to cater to him.
385
00:13:48,775 --> 00:13:50,902
This is the second run
I've made for new sheets.
386
00:13:50,921 --> 00:13:52,573
Apparently, the ones I bought yesterday...
387
00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,337
they weren't up to his lofty standards.
388
00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:56,542
Careful. Those are gateway sheets.
389
00:13:56,552 --> 00:13:58,729
That's exactly how it started with Dalia.
390
00:13:58,764 --> 00:14:00,462
At first it was small things...
391
00:14:00,582 --> 00:14:03,477
designer diapers, toddler tanning bed,
392
00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:05,999
then the next thing you know,
you're standing in J.F.K.,
393
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,694
trying to explain to U.S. customs
394
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:10,259
why you're smuggling
half a dozen baby leopards
395
00:14:10,278 --> 00:14:11,273
into the country...
396
00:14:11,329 --> 00:14:13,532
none of whom survived the flight.
397
00:14:13,538 --> 00:14:14,958
So heed my warning
398
00:14:15,078 --> 00:14:16,404
and draw some boundaries.
399
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:18,705
I know, but my heart goes out to the guy.
400
00:14:18,987 --> 00:14:20,232
You remember how tough it is
401
00:14:20,257 --> 00:14:22,128
when you first start doing it on your own.
402
00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:23,805
I do, but the sooner he can stand
403
00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,538
on his own two feet, the better.
404
00:14:25,982 --> 00:14:27,265
You taught me that.
405
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,979
- Did I?
- Mm-hmm.
406
00:14:28,992 --> 00:14:30,087
You know what? You are right.
407
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,238
I...I thought I was helping him,
408
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,323
but really, I'm... I'm just enabling him.
409
00:14:34,386 --> 00:14:37,959
And you need to disable him
like I'm about to disable Dalia.
410
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:40,862
Hey, you want me to send
these sheets to Fatmire?
411
00:14:40,887 --> 00:14:41,525
Um...
412
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:44,941
you know, for a 14-year-old girl,
413
00:14:45,004 --> 00:14:47,981
she looks a hell of a lot
like Alan Rickman, doesn't she?
414
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,469
(Whispers) Psst. Tessa.
415
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:55,752
(Chuckles) Big news.
416
00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:57,574
Todd is following me.
417
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,882
- That's great.
- Yeah. I'm one step closer.
418
00:15:00,182 --> 00:15:00,946
Congrats.
419
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,716
I owe it all to you.
420
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:03,849
I'm trying to study.
421
00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:05,400
Okay, well, study me. Study this.
422
00:15:05,462 --> 00:15:07,539
Look, Mr. Shay, I was
late to school yesterday
423
00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:08,772
trying to help you prepare,
424
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:11,813
and now I'm trying to make up
for the work I missed, so...
425
00:15:12,032 --> 00:15:13,208
How 'bout this?
426
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,796
You help me tweet something awesome,
427
00:15:14,803 --> 00:15:16,417
and you'll never have to
work a day in your life.
428
00:15:16,429 --> 00:15:18,531
If I get this job, all
your needs will be met.
429
00:15:18,537 --> 00:15:21,384
I wanna meet my own
needs, and so should you.
430
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,544
(Sighs) Okay. Well, at
least let me know
431
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,188
what you think of my tweet
so far. (Paper rustles)
432
00:15:25,538 --> 00:15:27,571
"Something, something, #awesome," space,
433
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,886
"#youknowi'mright!"
434
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,114
I'm still circling what "#awesome" thing
435
00:15:33,158 --> 00:15:36,318
I might be right about, now
it's either phone chargers,
436
00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:38,670
midtown, or colace, which is a fantastic
437
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,278
♪water-based stool softener.
438
00:15:41,035 --> 00:15:42,459
Can I ask you something?
439
00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:44,808
What if you get this job? What then?
440
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:48,249
What if you convince Todd
441
00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,314
that you are a media-savvy hipster
442
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:51,602
with a fully charged phone
443
00:15:51,608 --> 00:15:54,257
and... the softest B.Ms in midtown?
444
00:15:54,668 --> 00:15:56,275
How you gonna keep it up?
445
00:15:56,395 --> 00:15:57,421
I just will.
446
00:15:58,066 --> 00:15:58,928
(Door closes)
447
00:15:59,273 --> 00:16:00,930
George: Noah?
448
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,673
There he is! My sheets man!
449
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,256
What the hell happened in here?
450
00:16:05,274 --> 00:16:07,533
Oh. I ordered in.
451
00:16:07,558 --> 00:16:08,603
It's just like room service,
452
00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:10,317
except no one comes to clear it away.
453
00:16:10,354 --> 00:16:12,618
So I'm calling a trash removal service.
454
00:16:12,619 --> 00:16:14,446
They should be here within the hour.
455
00:16:14,566 --> 00:16:16,915
Anything you wanna get rid of?
They have a 45-pound minimum.
456
00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:18,193
How much do you weigh?
457
00:16:18,419 --> 00:16:19,532
Is that a fat joke?
458
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,434
Because I bought this for everyone.
459
00:16:21,435 --> 00:16:22,954
No. Look, man, I...
460
00:16:23,142 --> 00:16:25,438
I...I feel like I'm doing you a disservice.
461
00:16:25,558 --> 00:16:27,227
Well, I wasn't gonna complain,
462
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,174
but I did expect you hours
ago with those sheets.
463
00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:32,464
I wanted to give you someplace to crash,
464
00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:34,967
but you're crash-and-burning.
You need to get it together.
465
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:39,027
You need to step up and find
some place where Opus can sleep
466
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,530
where he's not gonna get
banana peppers on him.
467
00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:43,063
(Scoffs)
468
00:16:43,183 --> 00:16:45,933
I'm not saying it has to have
a picket fence and a window box,
469
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:47,434
but something.
470
00:16:47,469 --> 00:16:49,103
Figure it out.
471
00:16:49,137 --> 00:16:50,271
So what are you saying?
472
00:16:50,305 --> 00:16:51,740
I'm saying I think you should go.
473
00:16:51,773 --> 00:16:54,743
There it is. Wow. Unbelievable.
474
00:16:55,025 --> 00:16:56,689
I'm sorry... remind me again,
475
00:16:56,745 --> 00:16:58,528
who was there for you when Alex left?
476
00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:01,288
My downstairs neighbor, Rob Buchman.
477
00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:02,645
That's right.
478
00:17:02,658 --> 00:17:05,698
Rob Buchman. That's been driving me crazy.
479
00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:07,719
(Laughs)
Maybe I should call him!
480
00:17:07,787 --> 00:17:09,290
Maybe you should.
481
00:17:09,791 --> 00:17:10,879
Fine.
482
00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:12,807
Why don't you give me the
name of your packing service
483
00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:15,429
and pull my car around, and
we'll get out of your hair?
484
00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,033
Letting go of your childhood
485
00:17:24,058 --> 00:17:27,143
is a necessary step
towards becoming an adult.
486
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:29,620
All right.
487
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:32,749
And becoming an adult is a necessary step
488
00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:34,369
when you are parenting a child.
489
00:17:34,769 --> 00:17:37,479
This is teamwork. Good job, buddy.
490
00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:40,376
But when the lines get blurry,
and you find yourself parenting
491
00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:42,253
your middle-aged next-door neighbor...
492
00:17:42,373 --> 00:17:43,392
(Doorbell rings)
493
00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:45,756
The next step is a little less clear.
494
00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:47,027
- Tessa.
- Mr. Shay.
495
00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:48,328
I found your wheelys on the curb,
496
00:17:48,329 --> 00:17:49,967
and I didn't know what to think.
497
00:17:50,392 --> 00:17:53,795
But it looks like you're
back to your old self again.
498
00:17:54,352 --> 00:17:55,378
You followed my advice.
499
00:17:55,384 --> 00:17:56,980
No. I did no such thing.
500
00:17:57,218 --> 00:17:58,894
I fell down three flights of stairs
501
00:17:58,937 --> 00:18:01,478
on those infernal contraptions
and broke Todd's collarbone.
502
00:18:01,484 --> 00:18:03,567
One of my earholes developed a keloid,
503
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:05,213
and I didn't get the promotion.
504
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:08,253
But the good news is,
I lost my existing job...
505
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:09,861
as well as a portion of my earlobe.
506
00:18:09,981 --> 00:18:11,149
That's the good news?
507
00:18:11,269 --> 00:18:14,633
Yes. Because my loss was Sheila's gain.
508
00:18:14,753 --> 00:18:17,180
She grew like a wild carrot
509
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:20,433
in the fertile dung of my failure.
510
00:18:20,827 --> 00:18:22,397
More failure, Fred?
511
00:18:22,454 --> 00:18:24,004
I'm sorry. Filet.
512
00:18:24,005 --> 00:18:26,289
Of sole... crushing failure.
513
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,667
Yes, please.
514
00:18:28,787 --> 00:18:29,912
(Scrapes)
515
00:18:30,032 --> 00:18:32,176
I'm sorry I didn't get the job.
516
00:18:32,296 --> 00:18:34,748
I'm not like you. I don't have your fury.
517
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:36,593
You're a lioness. And I'm...
518
00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:38,389
The guys who gets the
coffee for the lioness?
519
00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:39,490
Exactly.
520
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,392
Say, maybe you should
stay home with the kids,
521
00:18:41,398 --> 00:18:43,506
and I should join the workforce.
522
00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:44,726
Are you trying to have it all?
523
00:18:44,776 --> 00:18:46,804
Because I thought we'd agreed
that we'd each have some.
524
00:18:46,848 --> 00:18:48,887
Oh, come on, Fred, you said it yourself...
525
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,439
I'm a lioness.
526
00:18:50,559 --> 00:18:53,887
Maybe I should be
bringing home the gazelle.
527
00:18:54,062 --> 00:18:56,058
And what would I do?
528
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,879
Come up with a side dish for gazelle.
529
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:01,007
You don't really need
a side dish for gazelle.
530
00:19:01,063 --> 00:19:03,353
It's a very rich, flavorful meat.
531
00:19:03,473 --> 00:19:05,568
But I'm doing a minted
couscous, nonetheless.
532
00:19:05,688 --> 00:19:07,189
Well, that sounds delightful.
533
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,866
Oh, it will be.
534
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:10,573
I've never been happier.
535
00:19:10,693 --> 00:19:11,993
Sheila's out pounding the pavement,
536
00:19:12,006 --> 00:19:14,715
and I'm home pounding
the cutlets. (Chuckles)
537
00:19:14,835 --> 00:19:16,504
I even let my phone die...
538
00:19:16,624 --> 00:19:18,381
along with my dreams.
(Chuckles)
539
00:19:18,501 --> 00:19:21,265
J.K. #notreally.
540
00:19:22,163 --> 00:19:23,304
(Pounds)
541
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:24,743
Dalia, I'm impressed.
542
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,634
You scaled way back and got organized.
543
00:19:27,754 --> 00:19:28,766
Yeah.
544
00:19:28,772 --> 00:19:31,858
And I found a lot of things I
was missing when I cleaned up.
545
00:19:33,447 --> 00:19:34,861
Like penuche.
546
00:19:34,911 --> 00:19:37,145
Oh, my gosh. He looks hungry.
547
00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:38,221
He shouldn't be.
548
00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:41,100
He ate 15 pairs of my espadrilles...
549
00:19:41,131 --> 00:19:44,247
not that I needed 15 pairs of espadrilles.
550
00:19:44,278 --> 00:19:45,936
Exactly. Thattagirl.
551
00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:49,965
Now can we take down the
portrait of Alan Rickman?
552
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,828
(Blender whirring)
553
00:20:04,472 --> 00:20:05,939
(Whirring stops)
554
00:20:06,357 --> 00:20:07,890
Hi, neighbor!
555
00:20:10,555 --> 00:20:11,719
(Sighs)
556
00:20:15,998 --> 00:20:18,739
Noah? What... what's going on?
557
00:20:18,989 --> 00:20:21,454
(Whirring resumes) Margaritas!
That's what's going on!
558
00:20:21,574 --> 00:20:23,600
(Laughs)
(Whirring stops)
559
00:20:23,781 --> 00:20:25,714
I'm having a housewarming.
(Lid clangs)
560
00:20:25,765 --> 00:20:29,851
O-okay, but you... you know,
you can't live in a playhouse.
561
00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:34,737
One man's playhouse is
another man's real house.
562
00:20:35,113 --> 00:20:37,746
- Okay.
- Peter Dinklage said that.
563
00:20:38,478 --> 00:20:42,625
J.K... Peter Dinklage lives
in a normal-sized house.
564
00:20:42,626 --> 00:20:45,741
(Sighs) Anyway, I found a sublet.
565
00:20:45,742 --> 00:20:47,187
We're moving in next week.
566
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:48,707
It has its own washer and dryer,
567
00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,864
so apparently Opus and I
568
00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:54,976
will be learning how to
use a washer and dryer.
569
00:20:55,314 --> 00:20:58,211
Well, if Rob Buchman
doesn't return your call,
570
00:20:58,229 --> 00:20:59,731
I'd be happy to teach you.
571
00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:03,353
I've kind of become a... a
laundry expert over the years.
572
00:21:03,422 --> 00:21:05,693
Do you mind if I leave
this playhouse here...
573
00:21:06,162 --> 00:21:08,189
For Opus, until I get my own yard?
574
00:21:08,258 --> 00:21:09,678
Of, course, man.
575
00:21:09,798 --> 00:21:11,524
(Car horn honks)
576
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:16,510
(Whirring)
577
00:21:16,544 --> 00:21:19,508
Probably shouldn't let him drink and drive.
578
00:21:19,683 --> 00:21:21,579
I'm teasing. It's non-alcoholic.
579
00:21:21,592 --> 00:21:24,751
Don't tell him. He likes
to feel like a big man.
580
00:21:27,571 --> 00:21:35,571
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