1 00:00:01,475 --> 00:00:03,628 So you're saying that if filmmaker Kathryn Bigelow 2 00:00:03,736 --> 00:00:06,159 married and divorced former wrestler Bam Bam Bigelow, 3 00:00:06,261 --> 00:00:07,947 then married Deuce Bigelow, she'd be known as 4 00:00:08,046 --> 00:00:10,736 Kathryn Bigelow-Bigelow-Bigelow Male Gigolo? 5 00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:15,839 Yes. And if Kathryn and Bam Bam had a one-night stand four-way 6 00:00:15,951 --> 00:00:17,964 with Andrew Ridgeley and George Michael, 7 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,689 then that would be a wham bam, thank you, wham, with Bam Bam 8 00:00:21,759 --> 00:00:24,728 and Kathryn Bigelow-Bigelow- Bigelow-Bigelow Male Gigolo. 9 00:00:24,849 --> 00:00:26,642 Right. 10 00:00:26,741 --> 00:00:28,336 But what I asked was, "who's hungry?" 11 00:00:28,453 --> 00:00:29,765 - I could eat a sub. - Oh, yeah. I could always eat. 12 00:00:29,866 --> 00:00:31,727 Okay. I thought you idiots were going to the Bulls game? 13 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,257 We tried to scalp tickets, 14 00:00:33,377 --> 00:00:35,191 but Dave's "instincts" kicked in. 15 00:00:35,307 --> 00:00:36,546 I won these at a church raffle, 16 00:00:36,665 --> 00:00:38,351 so you can just have them for face value. 17 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,214 He's a cop! Deal's off, pig! 18 00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:46,249 - I told you. Chicago PD has a jump street unit. - Ugh. 19 00:00:46,362 --> 00:00:47,702 We gotta watch the game here. 20 00:00:47,783 --> 00:00:48,757 Well, you're gonna have to take it up 21 00:00:48,839 --> 00:00:49,995 with the little one over there. 22 00:00:50,096 --> 00:00:51,914 Consider your TV Liam Neeson's daughter, 23 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,121 'cause this bitch is taken. 24 00:00:53,214 --> 00:00:55,051 And your remote is also Liam Neeson's daughter 25 00:00:55,148 --> 00:00:56,491 'cause this bitch is taken, too. 26 00:00:56,597 --> 00:00:58,692 Why don't you just watch TV at your place? 27 00:00:58,799 --> 00:01:00,284 We don't have cable anymore. 28 00:01:00,399 --> 00:01:02,188 Deal's off, pig! 29 00:01:03,929 --> 00:01:06,425 Well, in fairness to Dave, he has been overly suspicious 30 00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:08,624 ever since he accidentally got on that bangbus. 31 00:01:08,726 --> 00:01:11,278 Everyone, quiet! "Baby Justice" is on. 32 00:01:11,377 --> 00:01:14,232 Oh! This is that show about a sassy toddler named Justice 33 00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:16,913 who's also the honorary sheriff of a small town in Ohio. 34 00:01:17,021 --> 00:01:20,186 The tagline is, "I'm gettin' too old for this poop." 35 00:01:20,277 --> 00:01:21,763 Talk to me. 36 00:01:21,843 --> 00:01:23,026 Where's my gun? 37 00:01:23,108 --> 00:01:24,290 Uhh! 38 00:01:24,372 --> 00:01:25,771 Well, that crap is PBS 39 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,248 compared to the other stuff she watches, 40 00:01:27,342 --> 00:01:28,164 which is basically 41 00:01:28,247 --> 00:01:30,939 people just getting hit in the sac for cash and prizes. 42 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,120 It's funny 'cause we're a nation in decline. 43 00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:35,141 "Baby Justice" isn't garbage. 44 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,800 President Obama watches it. 45 00:01:36,887 --> 00:01:38,586 That was an "SNL" sketch. 46 00:01:38,701 --> 00:01:39,704 Look, guys, 47 00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:43,131 I may not read the paper or know what an ira glass is, 48 00:01:43,242 --> 00:01:44,306 but I have depth. 49 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:47,730 I will have you know that I am an avid journaler. 50 00:01:47,822 --> 00:01:49,590 Oh, I gotta get my mitts on this. 51 00:01:49,683 --> 00:01:52,104 I have been waiting my whole life for this moment. Thank you. 52 00:01:52,241 --> 00:01:55,734 Wait a minute. This is just a series of top ten lists. 53 00:01:55,858 --> 00:01:58,356 Coolest smells. Celebrity crushes. 54 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,045 Favorite time of day? 55 00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,471 Ohh. 4-way tie for first. 56 00:02:02,565 --> 00:02:04,251 Naptime is on there twice? 57 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,157 Everyone needs two naps per day. 58 00:02:06,232 --> 00:02:08,121 Honorable mention for "beer o'clock." 59 00:02:08,205 --> 00:02:10,178 This is serious journalism. 60 00:02:13,982 --> 00:02:16,538 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 61 00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:22,283 And that's where the term "downbeat" comes from. 62 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,618 - Cool. - Oh. 63 00:02:23,721 --> 00:02:25,339 - Mm-hmm. - Wow, I was way off. 64 00:02:25,508 --> 00:02:27,711 Oh, man. Thumb-face Larry is here. 65 00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:29,773 Ugh! Oh, that guy is so annoying. 66 00:02:29,877 --> 00:02:31,603 How many times am I gonna have to hear the story 67 00:02:31,695 --> 00:02:33,193 about how he test-drove a volt? 68 00:02:33,309 --> 00:02:34,413 And I hate how he's always trying 69 00:02:34,491 --> 00:02:36,314 to check the label on my shirt to see where it's from. 70 00:02:36,394 --> 00:02:37,666 Yeah, plus he's bad in bed. 71 00:02:37,769 --> 00:02:38,931 I've heard. 72 00:02:39,024 --> 00:02:39,750 - Ah. - Oh. 73 00:02:39,849 --> 00:02:40,891 - From people. - Mm. 74 00:02:40,991 --> 00:02:42,994 - Who are me. - Wait! 75 00:02:43,113 --> 00:02:44,804 You slept with Thumb-face Larry?! 76 00:02:44,911 --> 00:02:47,235 First of all, I blame beer goggles. 77 00:02:47,323 --> 00:02:49,020 But he was the last gay guy in the bar, 78 00:02:49,118 --> 00:02:51,031 so I do have to blame queer goggles. 79 00:02:51,122 --> 00:02:52,461 And he did give me a piece of his bagel, 80 00:02:52,591 --> 00:02:54,840 - so I do have to also blame schmear goggles. - Mnh. 81 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,138 Look, I've just been trying to avoid him ever since. 82 00:02:57,241 --> 00:02:59,311 - Oh, well, I think he just spotted you. - Mm. 83 00:02:59,469 --> 00:03:00,234 Oh, man. 84 00:03:00,331 --> 00:03:01,547 Okay, act like we're in some sort of in-depth conversation 85 00:03:01,641 --> 00:03:03,481 so that he doesn't feel the need to come over here and interject. 86 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,143 - Of course. - We got you, buddy. 87 00:03:05,927 --> 00:03:07,178 Traitors! 88 00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:10,709 Uh, uh... hey. Hey! Hey. 89 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,508 Uh, sorry to do this, but would you mind, uh, 90 00:03:12,608 --> 00:03:14,110 pretending to have a fake conversation with me 91 00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:16,030 so that someone doesn't come over here and talk to me? 92 00:03:16,147 --> 00:03:18,373 Okay. Uh, what should we pretend to talk about? 93 00:03:18,483 --> 00:03:20,395 I don't know. Our fake marriage? 94 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,580 - We're married? - D-- uh, dating. 95 00:03:22,685 --> 00:03:23,921 - For how long? - Three years. 96 00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:25,398 We're not married yet? 97 00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:26,969 Can't we just have one fake conversation 98 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,800 without you talking about marriage all the time? 99 00:03:30,236 --> 00:03:32,012 Hey, Brad. Hey, Penny. 100 00:03:33,086 --> 00:03:35,751 - I love that shirt, Brad. - Where's it from? 101 00:03:35,863 --> 00:03:36,620 Come on. 102 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,241 J-- hey! Get your thumbs off me, Larry! 103 00:03:39,355 --> 00:03:41,332 God! Structure. 104 00:03:41,552 --> 00:03:42,532 So crisp. 105 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:43,334 Thanks. 106 00:03:43,437 --> 00:03:44,404 Then it's settled. 107 00:03:44,507 --> 00:03:45,703 Next Valentine's Day, 108 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,696 we will meet at the top of the Empire State Building, 109 00:03:47,799 --> 00:03:50,172 and when I don't show up, you will jump. 110 00:03:50,303 --> 00:03:51,991 Okay, this has got to be the weirdest way 111 00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,710 a guy's ever tried to hit on me, 112 00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:55,485 and honestly, I don't hate it. 113 00:03:55,593 --> 00:03:57,136 Oh! 114 00:03:57,222 --> 00:03:59,577 - This happens a lot. I'm not actually, um-- - Hey, listen. 115 00:03:59,693 --> 00:04:02,597 I get great seats to tons of stuff through my job. 116 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679 Would you wanna go to the Bulls game tomorrow? 117 00:04:04,859 --> 00:04:06,288 - The Bulls game? - Yeah. 118 00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:08,539 With a beautiful woman? Y-- uh... 119 00:04:08,656 --> 00:04:10,144 I'd have to be gay to say "no" to that. 120 00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:13,824 Just to be clear, I am not gay, 121 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,413 and yes, I do wanna go to the Bulls game. 122 00:04:16,414 --> 00:04:18,970 So... this is definitely weird. 123 00:04:19,073 --> 00:04:20,421 Yeah, and I know I'm not dreaming, 124 00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:22,532 'cause if I were, everyone would be me. 125 00:04:22,618 --> 00:04:23,328 Oh, I'm sorry, guys. 126 00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:25,360 I'm finished with the Metro section. Help yourself. 127 00:04:25,559 --> 00:04:27,626 Okay. All right. I'll bite. 128 00:04:27,741 --> 00:04:29,172 Whatcha doin', Al? 129 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,384 Well, I thought about what you guys said, 130 00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:31,436 and you're right, okay? 131 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,651 I've been polluting my mind with tabloid magazines 132 00:04:33,763 --> 00:04:35,182 and entertaining television. 133 00:04:35,347 --> 00:04:38,063 So from now on, I am only gonna read newspapers 134 00:04:38,131 --> 00:04:40,462 and watch TV shows where white guys sit behind big desks. 135 00:04:40,536 --> 00:04:41,709 That is it. 136 00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:43,614 Okay. 137 00:04:43,702 --> 00:04:45,792 - Cool. - Good luck with that. 138 00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:47,291 What? You don't think I can do it? 139 00:04:47,396 --> 00:04:49,212 No. We think you can do it. 140 00:04:49,338 --> 00:04:50,806 There's just no way that you will. 141 00:04:50,903 --> 00:04:52,880 And also... you can't. 142 00:04:52,962 --> 00:04:55,227 Come on, let's face it, Al. You lose focus more often 143 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,427 than that camera I told Jane not to buy. 144 00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,871 - Eight years. It's been eight years. - I told you not to buy it. 145 00:04:59,985 --> 00:05:01,697 You guys don't know what you're talking about. 146 00:05:01,795 --> 00:05:03,411 All right, Al, remember that time 147 00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:06,481 that you tried to watch the AFI top 100 comedies, 148 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,350 and you gave up 149 00:05:07,443 --> 00:05:09,685 when Harold and Maude didn't make it to White Castle? 150 00:05:09,807 --> 00:05:13,020 Or... remember that time when you almost married Dave? 151 00:05:13,136 --> 00:05:14,020 Yeah, remember that? 152 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,977 This time it's different, okay? I'm serious. 153 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,872 I'm as serious as this mess in Washington. Am I right? 154 00:05:20,334 --> 00:05:22,337 What? Am I not right? I'm only halfway through the article. 155 00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:26,569 Check out how dope my seats at the Bulls game were. 156 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,305 That's Carlos Boozer's knee. 157 00:05:28,446 --> 00:05:30,276 That's Rip Hamilton's thigh. 158 00:05:30,377 --> 00:05:32,362 That's the security guard's hand from when he took my phone 159 00:05:32,472 --> 00:05:34,496 because apparently upshort pictures are not allowed 160 00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:36,278 at the United Center. 161 00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:38,385 - Hmm. - So this girl took you to a Bulls game, 162 00:05:38,493 --> 00:05:41,263 you went for drinks after, then you walked her home. 163 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,414 Sounds like a date. 164 00:05:42,504 --> 00:05:44,170 Good. That's what I'm going for. 165 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,288 Wait. Did you get off the "D" train and transfer to the "V" train 166 00:05:47,404 --> 00:05:48,862 at Grand Sexual Station? 167 00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:50,967 Guys, come on. 168 00:05:51,355 --> 00:05:52,973 Gay. Straight. 169 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:56,532 Human sexuality is a-- is a rich mosaic with vivid-- 170 00:05:56,632 --> 00:05:58,227 So you're using her for Bulls tickets? 171 00:05:58,335 --> 00:06:00,640 Some would say that she's using me. 172 00:06:00,766 --> 00:06:02,013 Of course, those people would be wrong, 173 00:06:02,106 --> 00:06:03,309 and the more accurate description 174 00:06:03,435 --> 00:06:04,578 is that I'm using her. 175 00:06:04,691 --> 00:06:05,541 Max! 176 00:06:05,636 --> 00:06:06,751 I'm doing her a favor. 177 00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:10,241 Who would you rather her date, some 24-year-old jager hound 178 00:06:10,359 --> 00:06:12,017 who's only using her for her body? 179 00:06:12,165 --> 00:06:13,274 I would rather her date 180 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,930 some sophisticated, older gay man. 181 00:06:16,032 --> 00:06:17,902 - And who might that be now? - Really? 182 00:06:18,013 --> 00:06:19,514 Okay, as someone who's dated enough gay guys 183 00:06:19,624 --> 00:06:21,366 to earn the nickname "will she ever learn?", 184 00:06:21,495 --> 00:06:24,195 I cannot allow you to keep wasting this girl's time. 185 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,022 - Wasting her time?! - She'll figure it out. 186 00:06:27,111 --> 00:06:28,107 She's young. She's hot. 187 00:06:28,196 --> 00:06:29,826 That makes it worse, Max! 188 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,156 There are a limited number of hot chicks out there. 189 00:06:32,274 --> 00:06:33,121 And on behalf of 190 00:06:33,214 --> 00:06:35,801 the 24-year-old jager hounds who don't have a voice, 191 00:06:35,919 --> 00:06:37,520 I also object. 192 00:06:37,634 --> 00:06:40,650 How dare you, sirs... 193 00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:44,245 telling me who I can and can't love? 194 00:06:44,407 --> 00:06:46,046 I am just glad 195 00:06:46,169 --> 00:06:49,265 that the gay guy that Sean Penn played in "Milk" 196 00:06:49,398 --> 00:06:51,115 is not around to hear this. 197 00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:52,885 You mean Harvey Milk? 198 00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:56,008 I saw "Yes Man" instead. 199 00:06:58,576 --> 00:06:59,569 Ohh. 200 00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:02,151 Look at that little girl reading that great big book! 201 00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:06,166 "The Global Financial Crisis, A Macroeconomic Perspective." 202 00:07:06,282 --> 00:07:08,567 Jumping right into the deep end, no floaties. 203 00:07:08,686 --> 00:07:09,777 I'll be honest, it's tough. 204 00:07:09,884 --> 00:07:11,587 I'm having a hard time following some of it. 205 00:07:11,652 --> 00:07:14,843 Well, if you're lookin' for the 4-1-1 on the GFC, 206 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,110 look no further than 207 00:07:16,207 --> 00:07:19,388 the University of Dave Rose, Champaign-Urbana. 208 00:07:19,499 --> 00:07:20,558 Here's what you need to know. 209 00:07:20,711 --> 00:07:23,818 The economy is like this great, big unpoppable bubble. 210 00:07:23,925 --> 00:07:25,172 Wait. I don't think that lines up 211 00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:27,394 with what I just learned about the economy... 212 00:07:27,609 --> 00:07:29,223 or what I've always known about bubbles. 213 00:07:29,357 --> 00:07:30,895 Yes, it is a complicated matter. 214 00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:33,152 Okay, you see, you have Fannie and Freddie. 215 00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:34,579 They might be brother and sister. 216 00:07:34,681 --> 00:07:35,558 Let me back up. 217 00:07:35,726 --> 00:07:37,376 At the end of "Trading Places," 218 00:07:37,510 --> 00:07:39,316 they're selling frozen orange juice futures. 219 00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:40,904 That-- you know what? Let me back up again. 220 00:07:41,015 --> 00:07:43,344 Eddie Murphy was fresh off "48 hrs." 221 00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:44,420 Okay, let me stop you right there. 222 00:07:44,519 --> 00:07:46,288 I'm sorry. Am I moving too quickly for you? 223 00:07:46,405 --> 00:07:47,894 Dave... 224 00:07:48,392 --> 00:07:50,689 no offense, but it just seems like you're bundling 225 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,755 a bunch of your worthless ideas and trying to pass them off 226 00:07:52,865 --> 00:07:55,745 the same way the banks did with mortgage-backed securities. 227 00:07:56,271 --> 00:07:56,950 Hmm. 228 00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:59,103 I guess some of this is sinking in. 229 00:08:00,345 --> 00:08:02,360 Dear God, what did that mean? 230 00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:08,329 Ugh. Another text from Max. 231 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,649 It's a picture of him and Katie at the game. 232 00:08:10,755 --> 00:08:13,356 Wait. They have seats next to John Cusack's mom? 233 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,272 - No, that's John Cusack. - Oh. 234 00:08:15,417 --> 00:08:17,115 I cannot believe Max is getting away with this. 235 00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:18,996 It is so unfair to that girl. 236 00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:21,785 And it's unfair to whoever has that seat behind his giant head. 237 00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,447 We have to tell Katie he's gay. 238 00:08:23,554 --> 00:08:24,983 Oh, that seems mean. 239 00:08:25,096 --> 00:08:27,302 Okay, well, then let's use the gay stuff Max does 240 00:08:27,388 --> 00:08:29,652 to create a trap and force him to out himself. 241 00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:30,505 All right. 242 00:08:30,592 --> 00:08:32,971 What are the gay things Max does? 243 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:34,598 Okay. Hmm. 244 00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:37,922 Oh! Doesn't he spend hundreds of dollars on lotions and creams? 245 00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:39,107 No, that's me. 246 00:08:39,197 --> 00:08:40,505 Ooh! What about that binder he has 247 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,501 full of pictures of men's goatees? 248 00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:43,878 - That's Dave. - Mm. 249 00:08:43,985 --> 00:08:45,924 But he does have that giant collection of gay porno. 250 00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:47,476 - Weirdly, that's Alex. - Oh. 251 00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,136 And every time I ask her why, she just says... 252 00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:51,076 "Hey, I don't smoke but I have ashtrays." 253 00:08:51,255 --> 00:08:52,193 You know, I'm starting to think 254 00:08:52,273 --> 00:08:53,969 Max is the least gay of all of us. 255 00:08:54,156 --> 00:08:55,541 What a fresh character. 256 00:08:55,682 --> 00:08:59,840 Except for the one really gay thing he does. 257 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,934 Sex with men? 258 00:09:02,029 --> 00:09:03,879 That's exactly what I was referring to! 259 00:09:03,986 --> 00:09:05,065 Oh! 260 00:09:05,148 --> 00:09:07,618 I wish there was a way we could use that. 261 00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:12,590 Hey, Max! You remember Thumb-face Larry. 262 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:13,896 I mean, regular Larry. 263 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,898 Hey, Max. I love that shirt. 264 00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:17,245 Where is it from? 265 00:09:17,341 --> 00:09:19,240 - Oh, come on! Oh! - Enough for that. 266 00:09:19,348 --> 00:09:20,855 - Okay. - Okay. So... 267 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,205 thanks for stopping by, 268 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,607 but you guys gotta get going now. 269 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,168 Max! Are these your friends? 270 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,455 - Uh... - I think it's safe to call these two 271 00:09:27,562 --> 00:09:29,488 "more than friends." Am I right, Lar? 272 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,306 Well, we did spend a magnificent night together. 273 00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:33,806 Yes, coming up with business ideas. 274 00:09:33,899 --> 00:09:35,148 Business ideas? 275 00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:36,979 I-I thought we had something special. 276 00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:38,781 So did I, but the market didn't like it. 277 00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,497 And the market-- she's a fickle lady. 278 00:09:40,593 --> 00:09:42,306 We made love in your shower. 279 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,679 Is the title of the track that we produced together, 280 00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:45,735 which we thought would go 281 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,557 - straight to the top of the charts. - Oh, I remember that track. 282 00:09:47,694 --> 00:09:49,716 Just sounded like a couple of dudes having sex. 283 00:09:49,809 --> 00:09:51,736 Everybody's a critic, ain't they? Huh? 284 00:09:51,865 --> 00:09:53,606 Oh, hey! Larry, look! 285 00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:55,740 That guy's wearing two different shirts! 286 00:09:55,858 --> 00:09:57,076 I wish there was a way that we could find out 287 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,654 where each one of them was from. 288 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,069 - I have a way. - Yeah? 289 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,984 You got some nerve on you. 290 00:10:02,426 --> 00:10:04,888 Well, that was weird. 291 00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:05,805 Weird alert. 292 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,805 Yeah. I didn't know Max had a business partner. 293 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,222 She still doesn't know. 294 00:10:10,316 --> 00:10:11,645 I wonder if I should invite Larry 295 00:10:11,763 --> 00:10:13,121 to the Bulls game tomorrow? 296 00:10:13,241 --> 00:10:15,761 I have a third ticket. It's right behind the bench. 297 00:10:15,858 --> 00:10:18,253 Aw, Katie, the thing is, Max is-- 298 00:10:18,349 --> 00:10:20,685 Really insistent on not mixing business with pleasure. 299 00:10:20,783 --> 00:10:21,776 But I'll go to the game with you guys. 300 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,242 Great! 301 00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:25,349 What are you doing? What about the truth? 302 00:10:25,473 --> 00:10:27,952 Oh. Right. 303 00:10:29,232 --> 00:10:31,194 Um, Max and Penny used to date, 304 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,143 and she's still in love with him, 305 00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:34,604 so any, like, wild claims she makes should instantly 306 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,136 be dismissed as the ravings of a jealous mad woman. 307 00:10:37,224 --> 00:10:38,385 - No. See, okay-- - Awkward. 308 00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:39,776 No, it's not awkward, actually, because it's not true. 309 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,468 - But, see, Max is gay. - Ohh. 310 00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,187 Sad, sad Penny. 311 00:10:43,299 --> 00:10:44,211 I'm sorry. 312 00:10:44,313 --> 00:10:45,978 No, don't you feel sorry for me. I feel sorry for you! 313 00:10:46,074 --> 00:10:48,211 - Aw, now she's projecting. - I've been there. 314 00:10:48,339 --> 00:10:49,775 What? I'm engaged. I don't care. 315 00:10:49,906 --> 00:10:51,411 - How come I've never met him? - Okay. 316 00:10:51,549 --> 00:10:54,080 Now should we eat at the game or go for steaks after? 317 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,727 - I vote both. - Both, yeah. 318 00:11:00,091 --> 00:11:01,795 Go, Bulls! 319 00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,768 You don't understand. Alex has gotten way smarter. 320 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,199 It's possible she's even smarter than me. 321 00:11:07,321 --> 00:11:08,142 Until last week, 322 00:11:08,248 --> 00:11:10,997 you thought people in the army wore "camel-flage." 323 00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:12,968 Makes sense. Camels are good at blending in. 324 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,075 Anyway, she's out of control. 325 00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:17,442 I can't say or do anything without her correcting me. 326 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,949 I can't live like this. We gotta get her back on the sauce. 327 00:11:20,043 --> 00:11:20,973 All the old shows. 328 00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:22,854 I'm talking fatsos in small spaces, 329 00:11:22,968 --> 00:11:24,829 real housewives in various locations, 330 00:11:24,944 --> 00:11:27,258 idiots giving roses to other idiots. 331 00:11:27,335 --> 00:11:28,563 I actually think it's gonna be nice to have 332 00:11:28,649 --> 00:11:30,819 a little intellectual discourse with my sister. 333 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,234 Okay, fine. 334 00:11:32,346 --> 00:11:33,759 If you won't help me make her dumber, 335 00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:35,439 then I'm gonna help me make me smarter. 336 00:11:35,537 --> 00:11:38,479 So if you'll excuse me, I have some library books to read. 337 00:11:38,737 --> 00:11:39,925 Your truck's on fire. 338 00:11:40,005 --> 00:11:41,875 Why did I put the books next to the grill? 339 00:11:41,987 --> 00:11:43,858 Why did I put the books next to the grill?! 340 00:11:43,955 --> 00:11:47,338 Oh, God! Oh, dear God! Oh, God! 341 00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:49,831 I cannot wait to hear about all the new stuff you're learning. 342 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:50,960 But let's order first. 343 00:11:51,046 --> 00:11:52,093 I'm thinking about the ribs. 344 00:11:52,173 --> 00:11:54,397 Oof! Ribs for lunch. No, too heavy. 345 00:11:54,502 --> 00:11:55,598 I'm gonna have the salmon. 346 00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,410 You get the beet salad, and we'll share. 347 00:11:57,529 --> 00:11:58,415 You can pick the dressing, 348 00:11:58,531 --> 00:12:00,615 and long it's on the side and in the vinaigrette family. 349 00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:01,875 You know what? I'll pick the dressing. 350 00:12:01,981 --> 00:12:03,299 Classic controlling Jane. 351 00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:05,898 No, I'm not controlling. I'm just aggressively helpful. 352 00:12:06,013 --> 00:12:07,774 Jane, it's okay. And obsessive need to control 353 00:12:07,885 --> 00:12:09,681 is actually quite common in older siblings. 354 00:12:09,815 --> 00:12:10,833 I'm reading all about it 355 00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:13,019 in a fascinating book on birth order. 356 00:12:13,111 --> 00:12:15,685 That is a... interesting theory. 357 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,398 Yeah. It's an unconscious attempt to regain 358 00:12:17,497 --> 00:12:19,449 the status you felt you lost when I was born. 359 00:12:19,562 --> 00:12:21,801 It's why you dye your hair, it's why you hate wearing long pants, 360 00:12:21,897 --> 00:12:24,569 and it's why... well, don't even get me started 361 00:12:24,654 --> 00:12:27,051 on the whole interracial marriage thing. 362 00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,353 That is mom-sense. 363 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,958 - Mm? - I mean, nonsense. 364 00:12:31,077 --> 00:12:32,436 I mean, I-I don't... 365 00:12:33,568 --> 00:12:34,883 The new baby 366 00:12:34,982 --> 00:12:36,524 doesn't have to wear the big girl pants. 367 00:12:36,618 --> 00:12:38,453 - I know. - Are you all set to order? 368 00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:40,625 Yes. I'm gonna have the ribs, and she'll also have the ribs. 369 00:12:40,724 --> 00:12:41,892 That way, we can share. 370 00:12:42,035 --> 00:12:43,555 - We're gonna share ribs. - Thank you. 371 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,945 So you are throwing a party for smart people. 372 00:12:47,051 --> 00:12:48,301 Actually... 373 00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:50,183 a salon is a type of gathering 374 00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,929 popularized in 18th century France, 375 00:12:52,027 --> 00:12:53,821 where writers, artists, and intellectuals would meet 376 00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:55,812 to refine their tastes through conversation. 377 00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:59,136 Oh, sounds fun. I wish I could, but I have... stuff. 378 00:12:59,215 --> 00:13:00,882 Tonight is gonna be a veritable who's who 379 00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:02,238 of people who respond to fliers they see 380 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,374 on community college bulletin boards. 381 00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:07,301 Well, you seem to have the hot hand intellectually. 382 00:13:07,391 --> 00:13:09,621 What should I do about my Max situation? 383 00:13:09,719 --> 00:13:11,304 Sorry, Penny. I can't help you. 384 00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:13,691 But I do know someone who can-- Sun Tzu. 385 00:13:13,781 --> 00:13:15,544 Dave's friend who always tries to sell me yarn? 386 00:13:15,649 --> 00:13:17,084 Oh, Penny. 387 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,701 - Classic Alex. - What? 388 00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:21,468 Sun Tzu. "The Art Of War." 389 00:13:21,572 --> 00:13:23,851 Turn your weakness into your strength. 390 00:13:23,963 --> 00:13:26,089 As Max's crazy ex, you have intimate knowledge 391 00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,127 of the one thing he does not want to do. 392 00:13:28,245 --> 00:13:30,439 Exercise? Bathe? Kill spiders? 393 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,522 Hold farts in? Not eat sugar directly out of the bag? 394 00:13:32,623 --> 00:13:33,780 Have sex with a woman? Touch corduroy? 395 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,668 Oh, it's touch corduroy! Dee! 396 00:13:35,751 --> 00:13:38,225 - No! It was "have sex with a woman." - Damn it! 397 00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:40,425 Use your knowledge of Max's repulsion to lady parts 398 00:13:40,535 --> 00:13:41,783 against him. 399 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:42,874 Wow. 400 00:13:42,983 --> 00:13:44,984 You and your Chinese buddy are good. 401 00:13:45,098 --> 00:13:46,547 Hey, Al! 402 00:13:46,783 --> 00:13:47,956 Look what we got. 403 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:49,793 Wait. Is it "have got" or "have gotten"? 404 00:13:49,902 --> 00:13:51,878 Damn it. I've forgotten how to use grammar. 405 00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:54,129 All right, keep it together. She can smell fear. 406 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:55,519 DVDs. 407 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:58,124 We have "Wipeout," "Jackass," 408 00:13:58,233 --> 00:13:59,782 and a Japanese game show 409 00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,377 where you carry your best friend's cat 410 00:14:01,485 --> 00:14:03,014 through a room full of dogs. 411 00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:05,370 Sounds so fun. 412 00:14:05,458 --> 00:14:06,816 While we're here, I'm gonna have you take 413 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,768 a quick whiff of this modeling glue, 414 00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:09,941 see if it's gone bad. 415 00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:12,042 - All this seems strange. - Not really. 416 00:14:12,139 --> 00:14:14,097 They're just intimidated by my growing intellect, 417 00:14:14,226 --> 00:14:16,027 and they want the old Alex back. 418 00:14:16,149 --> 00:14:17,755 Listen, clowns, I got news for you. 419 00:14:17,874 --> 00:14:19,893 I like the way I am now, and I'm not gonna change, 420 00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,416 so deal with it. 421 00:14:25,872 --> 00:14:28,703 Oh. This glue smells fine to me. 422 00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:32,064 Mmm. Trees. 423 00:14:32,824 --> 00:14:34,700 Oh, God. All righty. 424 00:14:34,871 --> 00:14:36,055 Okeydokey. 425 00:14:39,137 --> 00:14:40,658 So I heard Katie's taking you and Max 426 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:42,631 to the Jay-Z concert on Saturday night. 427 00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,138 - That sounds fun. - Yep. It's his last retirement tour... 428 00:14:45,244 --> 00:14:46,796 before his next last retirement tour. 429 00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:48,443 Wait. How do you know that? 430 00:14:48,536 --> 00:14:50,597 Oh, Katie told me... when I invited her here. 431 00:14:50,683 --> 00:14:51,895 When you what now? 432 00:14:52,047 --> 00:14:53,673 - Hey, guys! - Hi there! 433 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:54,946 There's my little sweetie. 434 00:14:55,053 --> 00:14:56,475 Hey. 435 00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:58,000 Penny, what are you doing? 436 00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:00,026 You're not gonna embarrass yourself again 437 00:15:00,119 --> 00:15:02,407 by making a bunch of jealous accusations, are you? 438 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,544 Actually, I invited Katie here to apologize. 439 00:15:04,663 --> 00:15:07,832 You were right, Brad. I do have unresolved feelings for Max, 440 00:15:07,935 --> 00:15:09,931 and that's why I was talking so cray. 441 00:15:10,087 --> 00:15:11,291 Okay. Uh-- 442 00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:13,830 They're not feelings up here... or here. 443 00:15:13,953 --> 00:15:15,673 More like... down here. 444 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:17,687 - Oh. - Real talk-- Max gave me 445 00:15:17,803 --> 00:15:20,874 the most world view-shattering sex of my life. 446 00:15:20,973 --> 00:15:21,697 Eh-squeeze? 447 00:15:21,785 --> 00:15:24,316 Katie knows what I'm talking about. Am I right, girl?! 448 00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:26,088 Actually, we've been taking it slow. 449 00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:27,614 Well, that explains why you still have your voice. 450 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,355 You haven't lost it yet from screaming. 451 00:15:29,465 --> 00:15:32,272 - Ugh. - Tell you the truth, we haven't even kissed yet. 452 00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,274 But we have done something Max calls "forekissing." 453 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,089 Nice. Nice. 454 00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:47,707 Aw! 455 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,730 Boop, boop, boop. 456 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,484 Oh. Oh. 457 00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:02,464 You were amazing. 458 00:16:03,955 --> 00:16:05,975 Oh, sure. That move. 459 00:16:06,072 --> 00:16:07,568 He calls that back later. And when he does, 460 00:16:07,664 --> 00:16:09,603 be prepared to purchase a whole new bedroom set. 461 00:16:09,682 --> 00:16:10,699 All of it? 462 00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:12,487 Oh. Well... I do like sex, 463 00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,574 and I hate my current bedroom furniture. 464 00:16:14,657 --> 00:16:16,193 Then make a move, girl! 465 00:16:16,288 --> 00:16:18,947 - Do not wait. - Or a-keep a-waiting. 466 00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,748 At least until after the Jay-Z concert, 467 00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,266 'cause you're gonna wanna have full range of motion, 468 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:23,592 pelvicly speaking. 469 00:16:23,694 --> 00:16:25,055 Uh, I think I'm gonna opt 470 00:16:25,143 --> 00:16:27,939 for the world view-shattering sex instead. 471 00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:30,992 - Yeah, girl! - Hey, now! 472 00:16:31,484 --> 00:16:32,549 Ahh. 473 00:16:34,797 --> 00:16:37,546 Max, it's an emergency! Open up! 474 00:16:38,213 --> 00:16:39,066 Hey, Brad. 475 00:16:39,186 --> 00:16:40,418 Ugh. Larry? 476 00:16:41,426 --> 00:16:42,331 Really? 477 00:16:42,427 --> 00:16:43,791 What? I needed to blow off some steam. 478 00:16:43,884 --> 00:16:45,696 I've been forekissing all week. 479 00:16:45,789 --> 00:16:47,511 Besides, he doesn't look that much like a thumb. 480 00:16:48,328 --> 00:16:50,122 - I look like a thumb? - Whoops. 481 00:16:50,231 --> 00:16:52,014 Not now, Larry. A little. 482 00:16:52,126 --> 00:16:53,523 Listen, man, we have a situation. 483 00:16:53,632 --> 00:16:55,027 Your girlfriend's gonna try and have sex with you. 484 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:57,040 Ah! Well, I fold. 485 00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:57,957 Too rich for my blood. 486 00:16:58,046 --> 00:16:59,098 Hey, hey! No, no, no! 487 00:16:59,214 --> 00:17:00,365 Come on, man, you can't quit now! 488 00:17:00,456 --> 00:17:01,898 The Jay-Z concert's in three days! 489 00:17:02,049 --> 00:17:03,459 You're right. 490 00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:05,664 - You're right. I can do this. - Yes! 491 00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:07,452 - It's just sex with a woman. - Right? 492 00:17:07,562 --> 00:17:09,472 - Straight guys do it all the time. - I did it this morning. 493 00:17:09,569 --> 00:17:11,756 And I can do anything I set this mind to. 494 00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:12,928 Lady butt. 495 00:17:13,027 --> 00:17:15,422 Gross! Why are they so weird and hairless? 496 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,204 All right, we have work to do. 497 00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:18,424 Um... 498 00:17:18,616 --> 00:17:19,441 Va... 499 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,765 Testicles. 500 00:17:20,887 --> 00:17:22,218 All right. 501 00:17:22,716 --> 00:17:23,767 Fallopian... 502 00:17:23,846 --> 00:17:25,170 Dudes. 503 00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:27,258 Which is why I think 504 00:17:27,357 --> 00:17:29,492 our understanding of the subconscious will evolve 505 00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:30,421 the more we learn about 506 00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,809 - the cognitive structures of the brain. - Very true. 507 00:17:32,939 --> 00:17:35,017 You know, I was reading about Freud, 508 00:17:35,131 --> 00:17:36,722 and his theory on the subconscious 509 00:17:36,813 --> 00:17:38,349 was fascinating. 510 00:17:38,754 --> 00:17:40,086 Freud? 511 00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:42,587 Excuse me, 1897 wired. 512 00:17:42,674 --> 00:17:44,678 They'd like their antiquated notions back. 513 00:17:47,629 --> 00:17:49,890 Well, they can't have 'em. You know what I mean? 514 00:17:50,742 --> 00:17:53,211 No, I don't. 515 00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:56,511 Anyway, the prefrontal cortex houses broca's area, 516 00:17:56,647 --> 00:17:58,290 so we get to choose our... 517 00:17:58,406 --> 00:17:59,671 This is really romantic. 518 00:17:59,759 --> 00:18:00,904 So romantic. 519 00:18:02,277 --> 00:18:03,863 - You know what else is romantic? - What? 520 00:18:03,964 --> 00:18:05,317 - DVDs. - Ooh. 521 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,353 I got "Schindler's List." We could watch that. 522 00:18:07,442 --> 00:18:08,229 Okay. 523 00:18:08,307 --> 00:18:09,917 I got a documentary on female circumcision, 524 00:18:10,018 --> 00:18:12,317 and I got a home movie that I made 525 00:18:12,406 --> 00:18:15,372 that's just a bunch of scenes of old men buying fruit. 526 00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:18,014 So... we're in for a pretty steamy night. 527 00:18:18,087 --> 00:18:19,859 Mmm. Speaking of steamy, 528 00:18:19,949 --> 00:18:22,281 I feel like it's... it's hot in here, right? 529 00:18:22,378 --> 00:18:23,630 It's kind of... yeah... 530 00:18:23,746 --> 00:18:24,685 Usually, this apartment... 531 00:18:24,789 --> 00:18:26,247 - A little hot, I feel. - ...is drafty. 532 00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:27,376 I feel like it. 533 00:18:27,469 --> 00:18:29,492 - Oh, you brought those. - There are these. 534 00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:30,895 You know what else is sexy? 535 00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:32,647 This compression sleeve. 536 00:18:32,776 --> 00:18:33,826 - Mm? - What do you say 537 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,512 we just strap this over your yabbos? 538 00:18:35,596 --> 00:18:37,116 Flatten those perky things out? 539 00:18:37,191 --> 00:18:38,453 - What? - What? 540 00:18:38,624 --> 00:18:39,891 - Forget that. - Oh. 541 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,600 - Let's take it back to one. - Okay. 542 00:18:44,216 --> 00:18:45,774 Okay, here I come. 543 00:18:52,343 --> 00:18:53,413 I'm sorry. I'm gay. 544 00:18:53,587 --> 00:18:55,010 Of course you are. 545 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,759 I had a feeling. 546 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:58,575 Why have you been going out with me then? 547 00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:00,728 At first, it was just 'cause of your sweet-ass Bulls tickets. 548 00:19:00,826 --> 00:19:03,698 But... but then, Katie, I got to know you, 549 00:19:03,819 --> 00:19:06,642 and it was still just about your sweet-ass Bulls tickets. 550 00:19:07,768 --> 00:19:09,648 It's true what they say. 551 00:19:09,725 --> 00:19:11,522 All the good ones are either taken or gay. 552 00:19:11,604 --> 00:19:13,703 Um, okay, you're not a good one. 553 00:19:13,809 --> 00:19:16,336 You're a liar, and you have my mom's body. 554 00:19:16,439 --> 00:19:17,761 So good-bye, Max. 555 00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:19,564 Are we still going to the Jay-Z concert? 556 00:19:19,713 --> 00:19:22,121 If we are, don't say anything! Just slam the door! 557 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,631 I hate myself sometimes. 558 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,739 Hey, Larry. 559 00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:37,751 - Hey, Al. - Hi. 560 00:19:37,867 --> 00:19:39,058 We've been looking for you. 561 00:19:39,163 --> 00:19:40,398 Why aren't you out at your party? 562 00:19:40,568 --> 00:19:41,655 You guys were right. 563 00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:43,239 The smart world is not for me. 564 00:19:43,346 --> 00:19:44,537 No, we were wrong. 565 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,298 We think it's great that you're bettering yourself, 566 00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:47,935 and we should've been more supportive. 567 00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:49,217 Yeah, we kinda suck. 568 00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:50,292 But those people... 569 00:19:50,377 --> 00:19:53,238 I mean, you mix up the in and the ego one time, 570 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,098 and they are all over you. 571 00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:58,262 Well, in your defense, those are two similar-looking fish. 572 00:19:58,355 --> 00:19:59,784 - Oh. - That's not right, is it? 573 00:19:59,893 --> 00:20:00,807 - No. - Okay. 574 00:20:00,922 --> 00:20:01,607 It's too bad, 575 00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:03,102 'cause I enjoyed knowing stuff about things. 576 00:20:03,227 --> 00:20:05,352 But on the bright side, I get to catch up on my shows. 577 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,957 I wonder if Baby Justice 578 00:20:07,071 --> 00:20:08,886 ever brought down that dogfighting ring. 579 00:20:09,011 --> 00:20:11,294 You know, you don't have to choose one world or the other. 580 00:20:11,402 --> 00:20:13,664 Yeah. You can be smart and still watch crap. 581 00:20:13,803 --> 00:20:14,903 I mean, just do what everyone else does 582 00:20:14,999 --> 00:20:16,029 and like it ironically, 583 00:20:16,130 --> 00:20:17,566 when really there's no difference 584 00:20:17,672 --> 00:20:19,688 between that and actually liking it. 585 00:20:19,782 --> 00:20:21,038 You had me at "watch crap," 586 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,636 then you lost me at "ironically," 587 00:20:22,726 --> 00:20:23,730 then I just got hungry. 588 00:20:23,837 --> 00:20:26,033 - She's back. She's back! - Oh. Oh! She's back! 589 00:20:26,822 --> 00:20:29,056 So what do you say? You wanna get back to your party? 590 00:20:30,327 --> 00:20:31,840 I got a better idea. 591 00:20:31,923 --> 00:20:33,197 Get out, nerds! 592 00:20:36,209 --> 00:20:38,235 Ooh! 593 00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:42,333 He got it in the nads! 594 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:44,543 Right in the nuts. 595 00:20:44,848 --> 00:20:46,601 Bye. 596 00:20:48,408 --> 00:20:50,501 - Maxy, did you learn your lesson? - Oh, yeah. 597 00:20:50,644 --> 00:20:52,952 Next time I pretend to be straight for free Bulls tickets, 598 00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:55,480 I gotta tell 'em right off the bat I can't have sex 599 00:20:55,593 --> 00:20:57,701 because my penis has been cursed by a witch. 600 00:20:57,796 --> 00:20:58,970 Yeah, super believable. 601 00:20:59,078 --> 00:21:00,039 Do not try and top that. 602 00:21:00,147 --> 00:21:01,168 - I won't. - 'Cause you can't. 603 00:21:01,276 --> 00:21:03,286 - Hey, guys. - Katie. What are you doing here? 604 00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:05,139 I'm taking you to the Jay-Z concert. 605 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,601 Awesome. Really? 606 00:21:06,671 --> 00:21:08,372 No, fat ass. I'm bringing Penny! 607 00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:09,398 Aw! 608 00:21:09,472 --> 00:21:10,783 She called you a fat ass. 609 00:21:10,872 --> 00:21:13,122 You see, we bonded over all the gay guys we've dated. 610 00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:16,492 But those days are behind us. In fact, I'm seeing this new guy and 611 00:21:16,612 --> 00:21:18,264 he's coming to the concert tonight. 612 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:19,676 - Ohh! - You gotta meet him. 613 00:21:19,772 --> 00:21:22,569 - Congratulations. That's really... - Derek... 614 00:21:25,915 --> 00:21:27,201 Drama. 615 00:21:29,074 --> 00:21:32,423 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com