1
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Previously on In Treatment.

2
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:13,070
I left home.
You helped me with that in our last session.

3
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:16,556
Showed me that leaving home
was my own personal decision.

4
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,680
- Are you mad at me for something else?
- Like what?

5
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,430
Because I met a patient of yours.
Got the days wrong and I met Laura.

6
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,552
- Shall I go for her?
- I can't give you dating tips.

7
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,673
She's the kind of woman
who could drive a man insane. Am I right?

8
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,989
- Bye-bye, Melissa.
- Bye. Thank you.

9
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:52,519
- I'm early, huh?
- Uh, yeah. But it's OK, it's not a problem.

10
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,838
I was in the area and I didn't want to go home
and come all the way back.

11
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,314
- It's OK.
- You sure? You don't have things to do?

12
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,271
I'm sure.

13
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,558
Oh, this is from Laura.

14
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,239
I think it's a cheque. Who knows?

15
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,789
- I'll pay you for the extra time.
- Uh, no need. It's...

16
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,592
- No, no, I insist.
- It's OK.

17
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,676
So I owe another 20%?

18
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,595
Thirty bucks. Hold on.

19
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,277
- Do you feel better now?
- What do you mean?

20
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,754
After paying me, do you feel better?

21
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,309
What are you trying to say?

22
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:10,673
I'm surprised by how much effort you put
into showing your contempt for this process

23
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,632
- and for me.
- Relax, OK?

24
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,989
It's just the way my mother raised me.

25
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,318
I don't know what it's like with you people
but I like to pay for what I get.

26
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:26,117
- I'm glad you're getting something here, Alex.
- Let's not make a big deal out of this, OK?

27
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,869
You want me to admit that this therapy
is worthwhile? OK. I'll admit it.

28
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:35,278
This therapy is changing my life.
Happy? Can we drop it now?

29
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,992
- How many patients do you have?
- Why is that relevant?

30
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,589
I'm curious. Like today,
how many patients have you had already?

31
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,996
- Why are you asking me this?
- I want to know what money you make.

32
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,511
Let's say eight patients a day,
times five days a week, $150 a pop...

33
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,913
Whoo. It's a pretty good living there, Doc.
24 grand a month.

34
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,433
- Do you want to buy me out, Alex?
- What?

35
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,758
$24,000 a month and I'm all yours.
And, uh, you'll be my only patient.

36
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:15,277
It must be hard for you to be in this position.
To be perceived as, um... weak.

37
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,515
You have this need to regain your strength.

38
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:24,113
You bring me a cheque from Laura, you've
asked me about my patients and my income.

39
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,835
- Everything to put me in my little place.
- Did I offend you?

40
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,710
No. I'm kind of used to it.

41
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,593
But then all our sessions
start out like that, don't they, Alex?

44
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:48,633
You want me to tell you why I was early
or go on and on with your theories?

45
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,038
I'd love to hear.

46
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,198
I went to the base today.

47
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:02,235
Thought I'd pop over before my session here
and say hello to my boys, you know.

48
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,831
When I got to the gate, I realised
I forgot my ID. Usually, it's not a big deal.

49
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:11,476
But there's a new grunt at the gate.
Some real Okie from Muskogee.

50
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:18,635
I told him, "Look, call the base commander
and tell him that Lieutenant Prince is here."

51
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:23,231
So he calls, comes back a minute later
and says I'm not on the approved list.

52
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:28,872
Of course it's a real sensitive issue these days,
as you can imagine.

53
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,913
Still, I said, "To hell with the list,
call Dana, the secretary.

54
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,518
"Tell her to talk to the commander.

55
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,951
"And you tell them that Lieutenant
Alex Prince Jr is waiting at the gate."

56
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,958
So he goes in, calls,
comes back and he says...

57
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,793
He says, "I'm sorry.
The Commander's in a meeting."

58
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,912
Maybe he was in a meeting
and couldn't be disturbed.

59
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,270
Or maybe they were stuffing
their faces with doughnuts.

60
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,118
Or maybe he just didn't give a fuck.
I don't know.

61
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:01,836
I said, "Tell Dana if she took the Commander's
cock out of her mouth once in a while,

62
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,871
"maybe she could hear better."

63
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,429
Man, I was this close
to knocking that motherfucker out.

64
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:15,950
Anyway, I didn't get in, so I left.
And that... is why I got here early.

65
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,995
(Paul) Oh.

66
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,758
Not, uh...

67
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,112
Not an easy experience.

68
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:30,234
It's bullshit. Now I gotta come here
and deal with you coming at me like this?

69
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,073
That was the tip of the iceberg.
My shitty week started on Saturday.

70
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:42,592
- Why, what happened on Saturday?
- OK, we're going to pretend here, all right.

71
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,677
You want to pretend?
You know what happened.

72
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,191
Do I?

73
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,914
I wish you'd have warned me about Laura.
It would've saved us both a lot of heartache.

74
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,637
I slept with her, OK? With Laura.

75
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,555
That's what happened on Saturday.

76
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,831
But I'm sure you got a full
play-by-play from her already.

77
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:20,871
- Did she or did she not talk to you about it?
- I'm not at liberty to discuss my patients.

78
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,469
What is that? Code for
"She did but you won't tell me"?

79
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,158
Alex, no.

80
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,596
OK.

81
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,712
(Sighs)

82
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,910
It was pretty weird.

83
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,596
She called to ask me
if I wanted to come over for dinner.

84
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,108
No problem, right?

85
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,276
So I got to her place...

86
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,556
(Sighs) I looked at her.

87
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,273
You know, I looked at how she was dressed,
at the table, the wine and...

88
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:59,110
I realised that "dinner"
was obviously just a codename for sex.

89
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,232
This whole thing was like a ritual.

90
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,272
- A ritual?
- Yeah, yeah, and all the rules.

91
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:09,029
First, of course, there's the meal.
She doesn't look like a cook, right?

92
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,548
But she made a big effort.

93
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,559
For starters, she prepared her own sushi.
California rolls.

94
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,433
- They weren't that great.
- Didn't taste good?

95
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,918
N... It was just for show. Don't you get it?

96
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:27,038
Nowadays everything is for show. If you
wanna make sushi, take a fucking course.

97
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,834
Go to a Japanese grocery. Don't use
Uncle Ben's rice and imitation crab meat.

98
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,713
Did you say anything to her?

99
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Of course not. No.

100
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:42,311
The dinner was just a lead-up
to us getting in bed. I told you that.

101
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,557
- Didn't really matter.
- (Clears throat)

102
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,670
So did you want to sleep with her?

103
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:53,472
Yeah, but... it has nothing to do
with wanting anything.

104
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:57,399
It was all premeditated.
It was like a... mating ritual.

105
00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,318
Like the Masai tribe in Tanzania.
But for yuppies.

106
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,677
Anyway, yeah, yeah, we got up from the table,
went to her bedroom and had sex.

107
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,029
That's what happened on Saturday.

108
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,074
It's interesting that you tell me so much

109
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:16,955
about this ritual
of you going to bed together but...

110
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,436
nothing about
what happened between you.

111
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,512
L-l-I'm sure that you've had
lousy sushi before but...

112
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,957
I don't think you've been
with another woman for a long time.

113
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,039
You know what happened.
So why do you have to hear it from me?

114
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,995
You're very preoccupied
with who knows what and who said what.

115
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,794
What's important is how you felt about it.

116
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,629
How the experience was for you.

117
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,636
The sex? Mm?

118
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:52,355
(Laughs) Sex is all
anyone wants to talk about.

119
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,476
But is it really as important
as you people make it out to be?

120
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,590
Well, you tell me.

121
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,598
Look, I know that's what it says
in all your textbooks.

122
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,758
But I ask myself is it really
the key to everything?

123
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,711
Or is it just the simplest answer?

124
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:11,673
But you're the one who started the story
by saying that the sex was the issue.

125
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:15,554
That all the rest was just... uh, foreplay.

126
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,989
OK. I'll tell you what happened.

127
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,355
Otherwise, you won't feel
like you're doing your job, right?

128
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,437
But before I start,
something I've gotta know.

129
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,356
- Do you ever jerk off to what patients tell you?
- What?

130
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,631
Come on. Come on.

131
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:43,959
I mean, you must hear some crazy stories
from women. Explicit shit.

132
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,037
Fantasies. Did you ever jerk off afterwards?

133
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,515
Are you concerned that I'll masturbate
to what you tell me?

134
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:56,588
Me? No. Women sit here on your couch,
they tell you all about fucking.

135
00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,790
- Must get to you, sometimes. It'd get to me.
- Do you masturbate?

136
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,071
There you go again,
answering a question with a question.

137
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,509
All right. I'll answer with an answer.

138
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,791
I'm a human being. I masturbate sometimes.

139
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,719
My fantasies are about many, many things.

140
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,149
All sorts of women.

141
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:21,638
Is that what you wanted to hear? That, in
that regard, I'm not that different from you?

142
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,275
That's the first time you've ever answered
one of my questions.

143
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,632
In any case, you won't masturbate
to me and Laura's story, I guarantee you that.

144
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:34,595
You may think of it the next time you're having
sex with your wife and trying not to come.

145
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,437
(Sighs)

146
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,400
(Clears throat) Must've been very, uh...

147
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,800
complex experience for you.

148
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,751
Being with, uh...

149
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:53,519
being with another woman, after all this time.

150
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,869
Complex. Right.

151
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,949
I gave a shitty performance.

152
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,993
Made every possible mistake,
I was a mess, to tell you the truth.

153
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,511
During dinner, before we had sex,

154
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:19,394
I started thinking about my first date
with my wife Michaela

155
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,510
about 15 years ago.

156
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,757
Jesus.

157
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,993
We had gone out to this bar together.
At the time, she was the liberal type.

158
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:35,397
She'd talk openly about foreplay,
favourite positions, cuddling afterwards.

159
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,716
Cosmo-type bullshit.

160
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:43,515
And she told me that researchers found
that wine arouses women sexually

161
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:46,996
and represses men's sexual desires.
You ever heard that?

162
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,190
- Mm-hm.
- I don't know what made me do it

163
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:53,313
but at one point during
my conversation with Laura... (Sighs)

164
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,716
...you know when you get
one of those deadly silences?

165
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,558
I suddenly told her that...

166
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:04,230
alcohol sexually represses men,
while women...

167
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,589
And, she, of course, she didn't respond.

168
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,559
She gave me one of those looks saying,
"Why are you telling me this?"

169
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,434
- Why did you tell her?
- I don't know.

170
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,509
Maybe it was a way to move
the conversation in a sexual direction,

171
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:26,997
make things go forward.
Signal that she'd been cleared to attack.

172
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,352
Is, uh...

173
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,110
Is that what you wanted, for her to... attack?

174
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,232
Uh, do you think
that she understood the signal?

175
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,999
Yeah. Is there any other way
of understanding it?

176
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:45,158
Well, it might've sounded
like an apology in advance.

177
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,430
That you didn't have any...

178
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,519
real sexual... desire for her.

179
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:56,554
I don't think so. She wasn't too fazed by it.
She changed the subject right away.

180
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,717
Like I'd said something nasty,
something inappropriate at the table.

181
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,752
With all that sushi.
That's what pissed me off.

182
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,952
Like all her faggy doctor friends
always say the right thing.

183
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,709
So first chance I got,
I looked her in the eye, I said,

184
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,196
"Baby, I have to go to the bathroom.

185
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:20,313
"I'm a bit nervous.
It's my first time since I left my wife."

186
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,830
She could barely squeeze out a smile,
even a phoney one.

187
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:29,351
From then on, every few minutes, I'd mention
my wife and the separation, even in bed.

188
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,039
I did it every chance I got,
just to see her squirm.

189
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:39,196
I think I got her completely out of the mood.
She was totally turned off.

190
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,551
We had sex.

191
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,918
It was more like two animals mating.

192
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,159
I wasn't that hard and I came pretty fast.

193
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,949
Even on the way to the shower I threw in,
"Sorry, it was my first time in so many years."

194
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,830
I don't know why I kept saying it.

195
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,958
- Were you thinking about your wife?
- No.

196
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,629
- Or feeling guilty, maybe?
- No, why would I?

197
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:23,673
Well, because any of those reactions
would've been natural, Alex.

198
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,399
We haven't talked about your, uh,
your separation, how you feel about it.

199
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:34,036
No. That's not what this is about. I told you
the separation was the right thing to do.

200
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,436
- Don't you get off topic.
- What is the topic?

201
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,789
Do our stories match, me and Laura's?
That's what I wanna know.

202
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:51,150
(Sighs) On the one hand, you describe
this feeling of helplessness... weakness,

203
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:55,993
as if you were dragged into sex
against your will.

204
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,789
You feel that you didn't perform too well,

205
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,035
so you felt...

206
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,230
somewhat humiliated.

207
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,637
Then to gain back some strength and control,

208
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,472
you make these references to your wife

209
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,798
- in order to belittle Laura.
- Belittle her?

210
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,593
Tell you, you make some far-out connections.

211
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,349
She belittled me.
Her whole attitude is patronising.

212
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,791
You're sure? You're the one
who suddenly felt weak so you attacked.

213
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,876
You wanted to regain control.

214
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,957
It reminds me
of the beginning of our session.

215
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,118
You were vulnerable after the base,
you gave me the envelope from Laura,

216
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,948
and you throw your money on the table,
as if you wanted to humiliate me,

217
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,833
to make me feel, to make me feel small.

218
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:52,033
- How's your machine?
- It's... It's good, thank you.

219
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,350
Clients happy?

220
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,639
I'll make me some coffee, if you want some,

221
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,910
if you've decided to stop being a tea man.

222
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:07,353
Alex, can we get back to this? Please.
We're on to something here

223
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,313
- and I don't want to lose track.
- Just give me a second here, OK?

224
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:18,515
I realise we're on to something.
I just need a break. Respect that.

225
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,837
I want you to tell me something. Honestly.

226
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,630
You really think you can help me?

227
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,272
We sit here,
we talk about fucking a few times.

228
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,279
You'll be able to solve all my problems?

229
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,549
I don't have the answer to that question.

230
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,430
Yeah, I knew you'd say that.

231
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,152
You know, that's what kills me about
you people. Cos any other professional...

232
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,795
I go to a doctor, he takes a look and he says,
"This what you got.

233
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,910
"This is how long you have to live."

234
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,431
If I went to a mechanic, he'd say,
"$2,000, it'll be good as new."

235
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,678
But you people, you don't guarantee shit.

236
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,111
- Can I tell you a story?
- What kind of story?

237
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,119
It's a Jewish parable
that a friend of mine told me.

238
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,913
(Clears throat)

239
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,679
These two friends are condemned to death

240
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:12,350
but the king, he liked them
and he didn't want to kill them.

241
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:17,599
So, instead, he tied a thin rope
across this abyss.

242
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,308
And he told them both to walk over the rope.

243
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,870
Whoever made it to the other side
would be allowed to live.

244
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:33,673
So the first one walked over the rope
and he makes it safely to the other side.

245
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:39,273
And after he made it, his friend yells out to him,
"How did you do it?"

246
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,757
And the other guy answered, "I have no idea.

247
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:51,716
"All I know is that whenever my weight
pulled me to one side,

248
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,390
"I leaned to the other."

249
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,477
Ain't exactly Lord Of The Rings.

250
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,112
(Laughs)

251
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,549
True.

252
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,189
So does it mean that you have to
maintain balance in your life?

253
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:21,870
I think what it means is there are
no simple ways of jumping over an abyss.

254
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,031
Or ways that work for everyone.

255
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,755
I think what you're looking for, Alex,
is a million-dollar magic trick

256
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,950
and I don't have that.

257
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,993
I truly believe there is no simple way
to jump across an abyss.

258
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:40,795
Instead, we have to work
in small, internal steps.

259
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,754
The question is
whether you want us, you and I,

260
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,109
to engage in that process.

261
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,076
- Eyes on your instruments.
- What do you mean?

262
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,988
It's one of the basic principles in aviation.

263
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,998
- You ever heard of vertigo?
- Sure.

264
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,919
When you go into vertigo,
your directional perception changes,

265
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,428
you're spatially disoriented.

266
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,234
You can fly in a Mach 2, nose down,
and think you're taking off.

267
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,989
That's the first thing
they teach you at pilot school.

268
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:19,431
You go into vertigo,
you look only at your aircraft's instruments.

269
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,677
Ignore your feelings completely,
rely on your instruments.

270
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:27,589
That's what the air controller tells you,
that's what you're telling me.

271
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,438
Eyes on your instruments.

272
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:36,032
So you want me to put myself into your hands,
you want to navigate me.

273
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,389
Rely on you.

274
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,908
On the one hand, you're right.

275
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:45,158
But keeping my eyes on my instruments
is what got me here.

276
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,236
What do you mean?

277
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,876
Because I kept my eyes on my instruments,
I dropped that bomb so accurately,

278
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,990
I relied only on my commanders

279
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,350
and I killed innocent people.

280
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,072
- Now I'm supposed to rely on you.
- Alex, I don't want you to rely on me.

281
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,914
I want you to rely on yourself,
on your own feelings.

282
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,590
The most I can ever be to you
is like an air traffic controller

283
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,599
who tells you to ignore
the expectations of everybody else.

284
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:26,191
It's the expectations that give you...
that give you vertigo.

285
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,557
What's the first step
on the way to my new life?

286
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,160
Well, what would you like to do?

287
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,355
I think I'll go fuck her again.

288
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,794
Yeah. I'll fuck her.

289
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,991
Well and proper this time,
I'll fuck her slow and good.

290
00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:00,477
I'll take my time up
into that sweet, hot little pussy.

291
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,912
I mean, what's the big deal? She thinks
she's the belle of the ball. Fuck that.

292
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,793
She must be miserable
if she comes to see you, right?

293
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,832
Don't assume that everybody
who sees me is miserable.

294
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:16,635
Look, when I came to pick her up from here
yesterday, she was like a psychopath.

295
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,832
One minute she's hugging me, so over the top,
like we're in some kind of movie.

296
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,839
The next minute, "Take me home.
I'm too tired to do anything today."

297
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,757
I mean, what the fuck?

298
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,631
She turned as cold as ice.

299
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,309
She was two different people.
What goes through her head?

300
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,716
Listen to what you're saying.
You're belittling her again.

301
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,069
You don't think she belittles me?

302
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:41,908
You don't think I know that
she's completely hung up on someone else?

303
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,071
Check this out. Saturday.

304
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,793
After we had sex, she straddles my leg.

305
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,833
She starts rubbing up against me
as if I'm not even there.

306
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,270
It's so obvious she's fantasising
about somebody else.

307
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,596
And then, she starts crying.

308
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:06,873
Tears and everything. She's just crying.
And I ask her, "Laura, what's up?

309
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,554
"Everything OK?"

310
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:15,151
She didn't even look at me.
She didn't even answer me.

311
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,316
Like I'm just her dildo. I got so...

312
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,310
Don't tell me I belittle her, OK?

313
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,958
(Alex sighs)

314
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,396
I know this is gonna sound crazy
after everything I just said

315
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,718
but do you think we have a chance together,
me and Laura? If we really work at it.

316
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,797
L-I don't know, Alex. L-l-I couldn't e...

317
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,990
(Sighs)

318
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,190
I don't know that.

319
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,515
I think it could happen.

320
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,917
Like you said, Doc, it's a long series
of small steps, right?

321
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,951
Mm-hm. Yes, it is.

322
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,397
Well, our, uh...
our time is up for today.

323
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,276
- Already?
- Mm.

324
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:23,472
Why don't we continue next week
where we left off today? OK?

325
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,231
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

326
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,910
(Sighs)

327
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,349
English SDH