1
00:00:01,011 --> 00:00:03,064
Like any expecting father,
2
00:00:03,072 --> 00:00:04,234
Noah was nervous.
3
00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:05,550
Sure, he happened to be expecting
4
00:00:05,581 --> 00:00:07,508
his college-age daughter
and not a newborn,
5
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,529
but that didn't make it any easier.
6
00:00:09,573 --> 00:00:12,406
You know, Opus and I
like the same TV shows.
7
00:00:12,526 --> 00:00:14,621
We're on the same nap schedule.
8
00:00:14,677 --> 00:00:16,880
You know, we're not embarrassed
to fart around each other.
9
00:00:16,893 --> 00:00:19,083
Look, man, don't... don't overthink it.
10
00:00:19,108 --> 00:00:20,948
She's your daughter. It'll be fine.
11
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:21,942
That's easy for you to say.
12
00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:23,050
Look at you and Tessa, with your...
13
00:00:23,094 --> 00:00:25,715
your friendship and your...
your repartee.
14
00:00:25,728 --> 00:00:27,048
It's disgusting.
15
00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:30,020
You'd be surprised at how many
people think it is disgusting.
16
00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:31,966
Jenna is a cool girl.
17
00:00:32,086 --> 00:00:33,868
You really don't have
anything to worry about.
18
00:00:33,918 --> 00:00:37,090
Yeah? Well, what if she just
appears cool in group settings?
19
00:00:37,347 --> 00:00:39,462
Who knows what she's
like one-on-one?
20
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:40,932
No one! No one knows!
21
00:00:40,969 --> 00:00:43,585
I know. We've become
pretty close, actually.
22
00:00:43,622 --> 00:00:45,549
Perfect, because someone
needs to tell her
23
00:00:45,568 --> 00:00:47,839
that Jill and I are separated.
24
00:00:47,959 --> 00:00:49,308
W... you haven't told her?
25
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,326
Look, we can't all be
the great George Altman
26
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,594
with our sage advice
and our acoustic guitars
27
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,666
and our telling people of things.
28
00:00:56,197 --> 00:00:59,063
I'm gonna go hit the showe-showe.
29
00:01:04,743 --> 00:01:05,657
Hey.
30
00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,909
Um, whose apartment is this?
31
00:01:09,081 --> 00:01:11,294
She took the news surprisingly well.
32
00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:12,783
Well, Jenna's a great girl.
33
00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:14,748
Or should I say, she appears to be
34
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:16,900
from what I've gleaned
in group situations.
35
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:19,164
Now what she's like
one-on-one, I have no...
36
00:01:19,165 --> 00:01:20,216
Excuse me, Mr. Altman.
37
00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:21,836
Would you be interested in participating
38
00:01:21,861 --> 00:01:24,132
in this year's
"Dads of Chatswin" calendar?
39
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,504
- It's for charity, and...
- Javier, I think you know damn well
40
00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:29,601
George Altman is not the type to engage
41
00:01:29,638 --> 00:01:32,435
in a fun, playful, lighthearted activity
42
00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:33,767
like the one you're about to describe.
43
00:01:33,818 --> 00:01:35,788
What? Why... why would you say that?
44
00:01:35,813 --> 00:01:37,184
Have you met George Altman?
45
00:01:37,505 --> 00:01:38,519
I'm George Altman
46
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,556
and I take myself real seriously.
47
00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:43,809
I read the news. I listen
to the news. I love news.
48
00:01:43,828 --> 00:01:45,061
You know what? I resent that.
49
00:01:45,096 --> 00:01:47,150
I'm George Altman. I resent things.
50
00:01:47,181 --> 00:01:50,203
Javier, please ignore her and
finish what you were saying.
51
00:01:50,247 --> 00:01:53,399
Okay, well, as I said, it's
a fun calendar for charity
52
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,958
where Chatswin dads
pose in beefcake photos.
53
00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:57,342
See? Look at his face!
54
00:01:57,348 --> 00:01:58,086
What?
55
00:01:58,130 --> 00:01:59,895
See, you lost him on "beefcake."
56
00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:03,578
Honestly, can you imagine
George dressed up in hot pants
57
00:02:03,617 --> 00:02:05,582
and holding an axe?
58
00:02:06,646 --> 00:02:09,611
I mean, you just put the image
in my head, so, yes, I can.
59
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,024
You know what?
60
00:02:11,281 --> 00:02:13,558
I can imagine it, too.
61
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,780
I'm signing up. Thank you, Javier.
62
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:18,914
You know, just because you
haven't seen me be fun and silly
63
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,381
does not mean I don't
love to be fun and silly.
64
00:02:21,501 --> 00:02:24,717
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne -
- www.addic7ed.com -
65
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:29,501
[Alih Jay] ♪ last night I
had a pleasant nightmare ♪
66
00:02:29,502 --> 00:02:32,502
2x19
Decemberfold
67
00:02:32,911 --> 00:02:34,149
Having Jenna around
68
00:02:34,162 --> 00:02:37,365
meant a chance to finally have
an intelligent conversation.
69
00:02:37,485 --> 00:02:39,348
I'm telling you, after
you read this book,
70
00:02:39,361 --> 00:02:40,737
you'll realize that all relationships
71
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:42,301
are fundamentally transactional.
72
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:43,728
Even the people you think you love
73
00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:46,224
are just meeting certain
base biological needs.
74
00:02:46,281 --> 00:02:48,208
Wow. Why love?
75
00:02:48,242 --> 00:02:49,960
That's my point. You don't.
76
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:52,674
Hey, Jenna. I'm Lisa Shay.
77
00:02:52,699 --> 00:02:54,787
We met once when your dad
accidentally invited me
78
00:02:54,788 --> 00:02:56,239
to your 9th birthday party,
79
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,373
and I threw up in your
yard, and your dog ate it.
80
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,112
Oh. Right. Hi.
81
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,546
Hey, lesbians.
82
00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:04,254
You guys should save some
room for your vagtables.
83
00:03:04,279 --> 00:03:06,950
Dalia. Haven't you died of syphilis yet?
84
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,015
Are you calling me a slut?
85
00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,255
I'm actually impressed
she got the inference.
86
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:12,550
I didn't,
87
00:03:12,894 --> 00:03:16,019
but greasy losers usually
call girls like me sluts.
88
00:03:21,941 --> 00:03:23,493
Hey! George!
89
00:03:23,527 --> 00:03:25,952
We heard you signed up for the
"Dads of Chatswin" calendar.
90
00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,553
You're making a big mistake.
91
00:03:27,673 --> 00:03:30,867
These dads, they... they think
they're coming off as sexy,
92
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,483
but they look like fools.
93
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:34,954
Yeah. The kind ya laugh at.
94
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:37,069
The weird thing is,
95
00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:41,511
I was looking through
last year's calendar...
96
00:03:42,093 --> 00:03:43,346
and both of you are in it.
97
00:03:43,466 --> 00:03:45,765
Huh. That is weird.
98
00:03:47,504 --> 00:03:50,369
You don't look embarrassed
to be tiptoeing through the...
99
00:03:50,388 --> 00:03:51,521
Daffodils!
100
00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:53,560
Don't you dare call them otherwise.
101
00:03:54,342 --> 00:03:55,275
And you.
102
00:03:55,309 --> 00:03:57,677
Seems oddly unseasonable for January.
103
00:03:58,034 --> 00:03:59,924
Well, originally, they shot me for July,
104
00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:02,780
and then decided to move me
to a less prominent month.
105
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,822
It's very competitive, George.
106
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:05,535
Come on, guys.
107
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,907
There's no reason we have
to take this so seriously.
108
00:04:07,951 --> 00:04:09,421
Yeah, it's all fun and games
109
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:12,099
until you're looking down the
barrel of a back page group shot.
110
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,660
We'll see who's smiling then.
111
00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:14,861
Come on, Fred.
112
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,109
See ya later.
113
00:04:29,093 --> 00:04:30,805
Morning, Tessa.
114
00:04:31,555 --> 00:04:32,513
Why?
115
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:35,628
Tessa, Dalia came over this
morning to take you to school.
116
00:04:36,692 --> 00:04:39,035
That dress is so cute, Tessa.
117
00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:40,263
Sure it is.
118
00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:42,447
It is. I swear.
119
00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:44,680
Dalia, you
want some scrambled eggs?
120
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,493
No, thanks, daddy Altman.
121
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,634
I don't eat unborn chicken fetuses.
122
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:51,231
That's... that's not what eggs are.
123
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:52,595
Really.
124
00:04:52,715 --> 00:04:53,766
What are they?
125
00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:57,526
Uh... Well,
these aren't fertilized,
126
00:04:57,532 --> 00:05:01,149
so they're just a... a... a
normal part of a hen's menstrual...
127
00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:04,314
- How about some cereal?
- 'Kay.
128
00:05:04,703 --> 00:05:06,792
We may have figured
out what eggs were,
129
00:05:06,811 --> 00:05:08,331
but I still had no idea
130
00:05:08,344 --> 00:05:10,671
why Dalia was looking
at me like that.
131
00:05:11,415 --> 00:05:13,142
You can change this station
132
00:05:13,173 --> 00:05:15,651
if you don't like Wiz Khalif A, Tessa.
133
00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:18,084
Morning.
134
00:05:18,879 --> 00:05:21,631
You're getting really popular, Tessa.
135
00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:26,362
That salad looks really good, Tessa.
136
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:31,066
♪ Bop-zee-bop, shoo-bop, bop-bop-day ♪
137
00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:32,374
♪ twiggity-zee ♪
138
00:05:32,424 --> 00:05:34,538
♪ iggity-ee, zibbity-bow, shoo-bi-Dee-bop ♪
139
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,703
♪ zigity-oh ♪
140
00:05:37,466 --> 00:05:39,143
A capella scatting is
141
00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:42,328
pretty much the rawest form
of human expression there is.
142
00:05:42,365 --> 00:05:43,585
I know.
143
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,415
And I really liked the way
you clapped after it, Tessa.
144
00:05:48,654 --> 00:05:52,471
Um, Dalia, would you mind if
Tessa and I had a word alone?
145
00:05:52,734 --> 00:05:55,379
Can I wait out in the hallway
for you guys until you're done?
146
00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:57,613
I don't see why not.
147
00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:58,708
'Kay.
148
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,600
Bye, Tessa.
149
00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:06,691
What the hell is going on with you two?
150
00:06:06,748 --> 00:06:08,949
I have no idea. It is super weird.
151
00:06:08,956 --> 00:06:11,001
I've been eyeing her
suspiciously all day
152
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,191
but I haven't picked up
on any ulterior motives.
153
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,469
She's just...
154
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,465
Being nice.
155
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,536
Dalia Royce is not nice.
156
00:06:19,548 --> 00:06:21,982
She's a warped, broken sociopath.
157
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,392
Do you think she liked my song?
158
00:06:26,368 --> 00:06:29,321
Dalia wasn't the only one
acting out of character.
159
00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:31,223
Hi. How you ladies doing?
160
00:06:31,572 --> 00:06:32,568
Have a seat.
161
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:35,063
My dad was about to embark
162
00:06:35,064 --> 00:06:36,904
on a midlife modeling career.
163
00:06:37,705 --> 00:06:39,363
Have you done any modeling before?
164
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,990
Uh, well, no, not professionally.
165
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,792
Well, you're clearly a natural.
166
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,021
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
167
00:06:46,046 --> 00:06:48,273
You've got a great quality.
Potential December material,
168
00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:49,437
if you ask me.
169
00:06:50,325 --> 00:06:51,677
Oh. And... and that's good?
170
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,442
Ohh. I love his innocence.
171
00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:56,719
The Decemberfold is only the
most sought after position
172
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,615
of the year.
173
00:06:57,702 --> 00:06:58,866
Oh, the Decemberfold.
174
00:06:58,903 --> 00:07:00,248
D-did you say... that's what you said?
175
00:07:00,273 --> 00:07:03,170
Yeah, I... I... of course. Of
course. Come on, George.
176
00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:05,066
Could you take your top off, please?
177
00:07:06,517 --> 00:07:08,082
What... what now?
178
00:07:08,351 --> 00:07:10,168
Could you remove your shirt?
179
00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:12,918
My sh... uh, the... um...
180
00:07:13,769 --> 00:07:15,270
are you kidding?
181
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:17,786
Suddenly, this guy's
acting like a real amateur.
182
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:20,676
Oh.
183
00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:23,404
Oh. Well... well... well, okay.
184
00:07:23,416 --> 00:07:25,218
Yeah. I should... I think...
185
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:30,011
That's it. That's the stuff.
186
00:07:30,355 --> 00:07:32,240
Très joli.
187
00:07:32,996 --> 00:07:35,305
Mmm. He's hunky.
188
00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:37,632
Yes, but not a ton of definition,
189
00:07:37,633 --> 00:07:39,729
so the Decemberfold's probably out.
190
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,524
Maybe we could do something with hugging
191
00:07:41,787 --> 00:07:43,283
in March.
192
00:07:43,403 --> 00:07:44,890
In March? Wait.
193
00:07:44,928 --> 00:07:47,731
No. March? No. No.
194
00:07:47,781 --> 00:07:49,946
Nobody gives a rat's ass about March.
195
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,103
Decemberfold.
196
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,040
Totally.
197
00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:56,608
[ ♪ Natural One ♪
by Folk Implosion playing ]
198
00:07:56,627 --> 00:08:00,475
♪ I'm the one, natural
one, make it easy ♪
199
00:08:00,857 --> 00:08:04,322
♪ we can take it inside ♪
200
00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:09,122
♪ yeah, we can take it ♪
201
00:08:09,123 --> 00:08:10,949
♪ and when mama's not around ♪
202
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:14,953
♪ there's no telling what
we'll do when we're free ♪
203
00:08:21,353 --> 00:08:22,761
So you are ignoring my texts.
204
00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:23,962
Lisa!
205
00:08:24,082 --> 00:08:25,977
What... the... hell?
206
00:08:26,046 --> 00:08:28,023
Tessa, I needed to get in
touch with you. It's urgent.
207
00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:30,643
Uh, well, I'm sorry. I'm
running late to meet Jenna.
208
00:08:30,645 --> 00:08:31,959
- Can this wait?
- No.
209
00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:33,798
Well, can you make it fast?
210
00:08:34,673 --> 00:08:36,238
No.
211
00:08:38,854 --> 00:08:41,393
We all know freshman year I was blocked
212
00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:43,201
from Dalia's Facebook
and Twitter accounts
213
00:08:43,242 --> 00:08:45,690
after being falsely
accused of stalking her.
214
00:08:45,703 --> 00:08:46,748
I didn't know that.
215
00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:48,443
Well, that was before
you moved to Chatswin
216
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:49,851
and I started having human friends.
217
00:08:49,914 --> 00:08:51,377
But that's just preamble.
218
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,834
Can we get to the amble?
219
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,601
The point is, it takes one to know one.
220
00:08:55,651 --> 00:08:57,334
And when Dalia started stalking you,
221
00:08:57,359 --> 00:09:00,231
I felt the need to re-stalk
her to find out why.
222
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,690
But without access to her online life,
223
00:09:02,721 --> 00:09:04,278
the question was, how?
224
00:09:04,617 --> 00:09:06,197
To determine?
225
00:09:06,638 --> 00:09:08,822
Why she was doing it?
226
00:09:09,184 --> 00:09:11,037
There were three questions.
227
00:09:11,055 --> 00:09:11,634
Lisa...
228
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,996
But then I realized I
simply had to create
229
00:09:14,008 --> 00:09:17,950
an online fake boy
identity named Lars Lissol.
230
00:09:18,070 --> 00:09:20,077
You had to name him Lars Lissol?
231
00:09:20,114 --> 00:09:21,547
Well.. no.
232
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,512
That was the fun part.
233
00:09:23,632 --> 00:09:26,540
The disturbing part is
what Mr. Lissol uncovered.
234
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,561
Just this evening, Dalia
accepted his friend request.
235
00:09:29,681 --> 00:09:31,851
Look at her feed over the past two days.
236
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,661
"Watched Tessa eat an
unborn chicken. L.O.L."
237
00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:38,039
"Watched Tessa eat her
salad like a boss. L.O.L."
238
00:09:38,159 --> 00:09:41,374
She's broadcasting every
single thing she does with you.
239
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:43,124
But why?
240
00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:44,542
Don't know.
241
00:09:44,576 --> 00:09:46,535
I can tell you who intends to find out.
242
00:09:46,578 --> 00:09:47,811
- Lars Lissol.
- Yeah.
243
00:09:47,874 --> 00:09:49,876
Thanks, Lisa, but I don't think that we need...
244
00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:51,803
to drag an imaginary person into this.
245
00:09:51,804 --> 00:09:53,673
I'll just ask Dalia what's up.
246
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:56,076
It's not like she's hiding
it. It's on the Internet.
247
00:09:56,383 --> 00:09:57,872
I'll let you know what she says. Okay?
248
00:09:57,934 --> 00:09:59,517
Okay, so I guess I'll just tell Lars
249
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,247
that his services will
no longer be needed.
250
00:10:01,282 --> 00:10:02,674
Although I can tell you right now,
251
00:10:02,675 --> 00:10:04,510
he would've appreciated a thank you.
252
00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:11,140
Lookin' good, daddy.
253
00:10:11,158 --> 00:10:12,475
Ugh.
254
00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:14,471
Everything looks so heavy.
255
00:10:14,591 --> 00:10:15,690
Uh, excuse me.
256
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:18,561
Sir, uh, do you have a-a printout
257
00:10:18,562 --> 00:10:20,189
of the calorie count for these entrees?
258
00:10:20,309 --> 00:10:21,768
We most certainly do not.
259
00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,592
Oh. Okay.
260
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,100
Well, can you at least ask the kitchen
261
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,609
how much butter they intend to
put in this pan-seared salmon?
262
00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:28,917
You think you're ordering something healthy...
263
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,425
'cause it's a fish, and then by the time
264
00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:32,384
they sneak all that butter
in there, you've got this...
265
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:35,248
I'll go check on the
undercover butter agenda.
266
00:10:37,552 --> 00:10:39,066
George.
267
00:10:39,242 --> 00:10:40,437
- Yeah?
- What's up?
268
00:10:40,818 --> 00:10:42,439
You just seem a little...
269
00:10:42,864 --> 00:10:44,015
annoying.
270
00:10:44,071 --> 00:10:45,804
Well, yeah, I'm just trying
to shred up, you know?
271
00:10:45,826 --> 00:10:48,743
I've got my... my big photo
shoot in a couple of days, so...
272
00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:51,731
Photo shoot? Is this
about that silly calendar?
273
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,131
Y... yes, it's about
that "silly calendar."
274
00:10:54,132 --> 00:10:57,780
Per your suggestion, I am
having a silly good time.
275
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:01,041
Well, you seem to be taking
the silliness pretty seriously.
276
00:11:01,092 --> 00:11:04,450
Well, th-that's because I
happen to be in the running
277
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:05,513
for December.
278
00:11:05,569 --> 00:11:06,829
You seem fidgety.
279
00:11:07,384 --> 00:11:08,817
Yeah, that's 'cause I'm fidgeting.
280
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,080
It's a great way to burn calories.
281
00:11:10,081 --> 00:11:11,157
I've been fidgeting for days,
282
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:13,459
and it's like, hello, cheekbones!
283
00:11:20,026 --> 00:11:21,933
Hey. Carmen let me in.
284
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,117
I figured you wouldn't mind
285
00:11:23,411 --> 00:11:25,613
since we're such good
friends these days.
286
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:26,739
L.O.L.
287
00:11:26,795 --> 00:11:27,665
I'm tweeting that.
288
00:11:27,684 --> 00:11:28,916
Dalia,
289
00:11:29,317 --> 00:11:31,093
what is going on?
290
00:11:31,119 --> 00:11:32,232
I knew it was weird
291
00:11:32,352 --> 00:11:34,698
when you started being
nice to me all of a sudden,
292
00:11:34,716 --> 00:11:38,359
but I have no idea why you
are tweeting and posting
293
00:11:38,427 --> 00:11:41,718
every stupid interaction we
have for the whole world to see.
294
00:11:41,937 --> 00:11:43,814
So I guess you want the true-true,
295
00:11:43,826 --> 00:11:46,654
as they say in my favorite
movie "Cloud Atlas,"
296
00:11:46,686 --> 00:11:49,625
featuring Tom Hanks playing
like 17 different roles.
297
00:11:49,658 --> 00:11:51,462
Yes. Give me the true-true.
298
00:11:51,496 --> 00:11:52,598
'Kay.
299
00:11:53,556 --> 00:11:56,221
Jenna Werner and I used
to be really good friends.
300
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,724
I said true-true.
301
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,006
Seriously, Tessa.
302
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:01,495
Her and I were mad tight,
303
00:12:01,952 --> 00:12:04,899
and then she, like, turned on a dollar
304
00:12:05,412 --> 00:12:06,457
and ditched me.
305
00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:10,322
I think her Brown friends
thought she was too good for me.
306
00:12:10,716 --> 00:12:12,875
And when I saw you guys hanging out,
307
00:12:12,887 --> 00:12:13,669
I...
308
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:15,934
You got jealous.
309
00:12:16,678 --> 00:12:17,836
And I wanted her to think
310
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,712
that I was good friends with you, too.
311
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:21,513
Look, Dalia,
312
00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:23,580
if you wanna be friends with me,
313
00:12:23,593 --> 00:12:26,790
you don't have to be
weird about it or force it.
314
00:12:26,855 --> 00:12:28,289
I mean...
315
00:12:28,642 --> 00:12:30,458
I can...
316
00:12:30,688 --> 00:12:32,343
imagine...
317
00:12:32,809 --> 00:12:35,379
one day us being...
318
00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,348
friend-like.
319
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:40,316
Thanks, Tessa.
320
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:43,287
That means a lot to me.
321
00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:50,676
Since you and I are so close now,
322
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,434
will you do me a favor?
323
00:12:52,797 --> 00:12:53,864
Sure.
324
00:12:54,737 --> 00:12:57,033
Will you not be friends
with Jenna anymore?
325
00:12:58,303 --> 00:13:00,998
I can't believe the movie's sold out.
326
00:13:00,999 --> 00:13:02,482
What else should we see?
327
00:13:02,602 --> 00:13:03,588
You know what?
328
00:13:03,777 --> 00:13:07,331
I'm rethinking the whole
movie idea in general.
329
00:13:07,451 --> 00:13:09,300
I can't stop picturing my metabolism
330
00:13:09,301 --> 00:13:10,760
just plummeting in there.
331
00:13:10,816 --> 00:13:12,393
Can't we just go for a jog?
332
00:13:12,744 --> 00:13:14,796
You could sit on my
back while I do push-ups.
333
00:13:14,801 --> 00:13:16,986
I'm tired of sittin' on
your damn back, George!
334
00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:18,725
You know, all this body conscious stuff
335
00:13:18,726 --> 00:13:20,070
is super unappealing.
336
00:13:20,101 --> 00:13:21,527
And ever since it started,
337
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,767
I can't help wishing
you'd get hit by a car.
338
00:13:23,811 --> 00:13:25,951
Really? Hit by a car?
339
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,309
Well, I'm not proud of it,
George, but that's how I feel.
340
00:13:29,982 --> 00:13:30,856
You know what?
341
00:13:30,862 --> 00:13:35,241
I think you're just mad because
the ladies are checking me out.
342
00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:36,937
The ladies are checking you out
343
00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:38,739
because you're wearing a garbage bag.
344
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:41,567
Hey, you have nothing
to be jealous of, sugar.
345
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,158
Should probably come up
with a different nickname
346
00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:45,772
'cause I'm flushing my intake.
347
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,894
Bye. Be careful crossin'.
348
00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:50,233
Or don't.
349
00:13:53,443 --> 00:13:55,257
So how's the groove been
now that Jenna's back?
350
00:13:55,288 --> 00:13:56,376
Her and Opus getting along?
351
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,123
Opus lights up whenever she... hey.
352
00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:00,556
Are you trying to
distract me with chitchat?
353
00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:02,859
I'm in my zone right now. I
will not be thrown from it!
354
00:14:02,898 --> 00:14:04,849
All right, that's fine, man,
'cause I'm in the zone, too.
355
00:14:04,884 --> 00:14:06,951
All right? I'm in the exact same zone.
356
00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:08,402
Frederick.
357
00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:11,005
So when do they tell
us what month we get?
358
00:14:11,036 --> 00:14:13,341
Oh! First, they make us work for it.
359
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:18,956
[ ♪ Me So Horny ♪ by 2 Live Crew ]
♪ Oh, me so horny ♪
360
00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:22,017
Let me see you work
that sausage, George.
361
00:14:22,051 --> 00:14:24,083
It's there for a reason.
362
00:14:24,203 --> 00:14:25,436
Use it!
363
00:14:25,471 --> 00:14:26,815
♪ Me so horny ♪
364
00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:29,654
Surf's up, Noah.
Surf's all the way up.
365
00:14:29,655 --> 00:14:31,344
Oh, yeah!
366
00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:34,916
That is romance, Fred.
367
00:14:34,978 --> 00:14:38,664
Oh, my heavens. You are not shy.
368
00:14:40,265 --> 00:14:41,373
All right, boys.
369
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:44,920
Now I just want you to
have fun, okay? Get silly.
370
00:14:44,976 --> 00:14:46,458
All right! Now come on.
371
00:14:46,459 --> 00:14:48,151
Why don't you give me
a little butt-to-butt?
372
00:14:49,343 --> 00:14:50,904
Come on. Don't be shy.
373
00:14:50,944 --> 00:14:52,407
Just a little butt-to-butt.
374
00:14:52,442 --> 00:14:55,625
Don't worry. These are
just for me. Yeah!
375
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:57,202
Oh, that's fun.
376
00:14:57,614 --> 00:14:59,066
Part of me is excited to get back,
377
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,568
but part of me feels bad
378
00:15:00,618 --> 00:15:02,764
leaving Opus in the middle
of all this divorce drama.
379
00:15:03,014 --> 00:15:04,272
But what am I gonna do, right?
380
00:15:04,297 --> 00:15:06,255
I mean, the kid's gonna have issues.
381
00:15:06,289 --> 00:15:07,556
Yeah.
382
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:10,554
I guess nobody gets
out unscathed, right?
383
00:15:11,194 --> 00:15:12,761
Speaking of which,
384
00:15:12,796 --> 00:15:15,890
can I talk to you about Dalia Royce?
385
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:18,818
I know this is gonna be hard to
believe because of how she acts,
386
00:15:18,869 --> 00:15:22,191
but I think she still wants
to be friends with you.
387
00:15:23,092 --> 00:15:25,295
Yeah, but that never works.
388
00:15:25,415 --> 00:15:27,772
It's always awkward trying
to be friends with an ex.
389
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,024
What?
390
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:33,148
Dalia and I used to hook up.
391
00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:35,411
What?!
392
00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:38,176
Two thanksgivings ago
was the first time.
393
00:15:39,377 --> 00:15:41,609
It was more
of a hate hook-up.
394
00:15:43,205 --> 00:15:45,677
Say it. Say it.
395
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,373
You go to Brown.
396
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,752
It happened a couple more
times before I broke things off.
397
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,518
She's been a total head case ever since,
398
00:15:55,568 --> 00:15:58,214
sending me pictures of
her weird little boyfriend.
399
00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:01,262
Did you know she got his
face tattooed on his crack?
400
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,975
Above her crack, actually.
401
00:16:03,982 --> 00:16:05,527
I was there.
402
00:16:05,647 --> 00:16:06,428
Figures.
403
00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:07,953
I knew when she saw me
hanging out with you,
404
00:16:07,954 --> 00:16:09,220
she'd try to use you next.
405
00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,927
She's the most vindictive person I know.
406
00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:14,780
All she cares about is hurting
the people who hurt her.
407
00:16:15,037 --> 00:16:17,095
So just be careful around her.
408
00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,083
Dalia and Jenna
used to hook up?
409
00:16:26,371 --> 00:16:29,324
It was crazy, but also
weirdly made sense.
410
00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:31,840
Suddenly I understood
Dalia's lesbian jokes
411
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,915
for what they were... a deflection.
412
00:16:33,942 --> 00:16:36,203
Are you guys talking about me?
413
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,653
Jenna...
414
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,236
told me.
415
00:16:40,592 --> 00:16:41,844
Everything.
416
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:44,170
And I... I just want you
to know that there is...
417
00:16:44,596 --> 00:16:45,653
no judgment.
418
00:16:46,235 --> 00:16:49,213
Thanks, Tessa. You're a true friend.
419
00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,769
I'm really glad you feel that way.
420
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,025
And look, I've had some
bad breakups, too.
421
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,952
I mean, who hasn't?
422
00:16:56,124 --> 00:16:58,754
But sometimes I think
it's best to just move on.
423
00:16:59,173 --> 00:17:00,631
I think you'll feel better...
424
00:17:00,656 --> 00:17:02,677
Thanks, Tessa. I know.
425
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,956
You really helped clear
things up for me.
426
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:09,835
I really, really owe you one.
427
00:17:12,725 --> 00:17:13,982
Yeah.
428
00:17:13,995 --> 00:17:15,934
If I were you, I'd move.
429
00:17:22,198 --> 00:17:23,368
So...
430
00:17:23,956 --> 00:17:25,564
This is it.
431
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,210
This is it.
432
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:29,455
Moments from now,
433
00:17:29,486 --> 00:17:31,707
I'll know whether or not
I'm too sexy for my shirt...
434
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:33,446
which I suspect I am not.
435
00:17:33,812 --> 00:17:35,072
Well, you know,
436
00:17:35,192 --> 00:17:37,049
it's only 'cause it's
a pretty sexy shirt.
437
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,566
Yeah. Well, thank you.
438
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,520
- It's rayon.
- Oh.
439
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,461
I'd like to thank all
the dads for their help.
440
00:17:43,581 --> 00:17:45,319
Because of you, we expect to have
441
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,322
a record-breaking year for our charity,
442
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:51,469
mothers against the defamation
of undiluted apple juice.
443
00:17:51,913 --> 00:17:53,565
What... what... that's the charity?
444
00:17:53,578 --> 00:17:54,341
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
445
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:54,915
Apple juice?
446
00:17:54,916 --> 00:17:56,568
This year's Decemberfold represents
447
00:17:56,569 --> 00:17:58,765
everything we look for at "Maduap"...
448
00:17:58,821 --> 00:18:00,899
Sexiness, hunkability,
449
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:04,133
and a belief in unrestrained fructose.
450
00:18:04,253 --> 00:18:06,699
Get on with it! Let's see the man meat!
451
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:07,981
Ladies and gentlemen,
452
00:18:08,101 --> 00:18:11,373
let's hear it for the guy
we wanna see two pages of...
453
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,412
George Altman!
454
00:18:13,462 --> 00:18:14,445
Oh!
455
00:18:14,686 --> 00:18:16,697
Hey!
456
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,017
Aha!
457
00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:19,654
Well, thank you.
458
00:18:19,774 --> 00:18:20,821
Yes!
459
00:18:20,877 --> 00:18:22,893
Thank you! Thanks!
460
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,993
Oh, that... look at that. That's nice.
461
00:18:25,006 --> 00:18:26,611
- Well done.
- Really great photo.
462
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:27,678
You did it, buddy.
463
00:18:27,798 --> 00:18:30,198
Every man in Chatswin wants to be you.
464
00:18:30,199 --> 00:18:33,334
Every woman in Chatswin
wants to be with you.
465
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,192
Yeah.
466
00:18:36,036 --> 00:18:38,026
Every woman except one.
467
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:43,428
Economists and business leaders from
across the spectrum...
468
00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:44,908
have said that our economy...
469
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:46,728
- Dallas?
- Hey.
470
00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:48,018
In 2013.
471
00:18:48,053 --> 00:18:49,957
Uh, are you watching the news?
472
00:18:50,077 --> 00:18:52,888
Are you aware that we
have a black president?
473
00:18:52,903 --> 00:18:55,494
I mean, I'm for it, but... wow.
474
00:18:56,144 --> 00:18:58,453
O... okay. Tell me you're kidding.
475
00:18:58,813 --> 00:19:00,192
I'm kiddin'.
476
00:19:00,587 --> 00:19:01,982
I'm not for it.
477
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:04,429
Kiddin'!
478
00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:07,407
Did you hear the other news?
479
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:08,739
I heard it.
480
00:19:09,407 --> 00:19:10,465
Decemberfold.
481
00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:11,773
Congrats, George.
482
00:19:11,893 --> 00:19:14,743
Shouldn't you be out celebratin'
and baskin' in the limelight,
483
00:19:14,745 --> 00:19:15,602
sexy pants?
484
00:19:15,603 --> 00:19:17,085
You know what? I should.
485
00:19:17,205 --> 00:19:19,538
But the problem is,
486
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:22,529
the light I wanted to bask
in wasn't at the country club.
487
00:19:25,219 --> 00:19:26,245
Look...
488
00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:29,104
what is the point of looking great...
489
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,165
and I do look great. I wasn't
fishing. It's been confirmed.
490
00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:35,228
But what's it all mean
491
00:19:35,229 --> 00:19:37,151
if it doesn't get you the attention
492
00:19:37,835 --> 00:19:39,836
of the woman who matters the most?
493
00:19:40,197 --> 00:19:43,440
You can be really sweet when
you set your damn mind to it.
494
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:46,335
Hey, I'm sorry I said I
wanted you to get hit by a car.
495
00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:49,645
- I fully take that all the way back.
- Thanks.
496
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,478
Oh! Hey!
497
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:52,955
You brought my favorite pie!
498
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:55,163
Uh, actually, no. This is for me.
499
00:19:55,283 --> 00:19:56,921
I'm freaking starving.
500
00:20:00,757 --> 00:20:02,743
Ohh. That is good.
501
00:20:02,794 --> 00:20:04,354
Are you gonna eat that
whole thing by yourself?
502
00:20:04,373 --> 00:20:05,930
I was kinda planning on it, yeah.
503
00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:13,521
Hello?
504
00:20:14,521 --> 00:20:16,329
Is anyone in here?
505
00:20:34,479 --> 00:20:36,600
Dalia and Mr. Altman.
506
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,979
[ ♪ Dark Side ♪
by Kelly Clarkson playing ]
507
00:20:47,199 --> 00:20:49,758
I know you think you saw something,
508
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:51,925
but you didn't see anything.
509
00:20:53,144 --> 00:20:54,795
I didn't see anything.
510
00:20:55,181 --> 00:20:56,080
'Kay.
511
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,083
♪ Everybody's got a dark side ♪
512
00:20:59,116 --> 00:21:01,218
♪ do you love me? ♪
513
00:21:01,252 --> 00:21:03,837
♪ Can you love mine? ♪
514
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:07,124
♪ Nobody's a picture perfect ♪
515
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,960
♪ but we're worth it, you
know that we're worth it ♪
516
00:21:09,994 --> 00:21:12,011
You should probably go now.
517
00:21:12,262 --> 00:21:14,389
You should probably
have somewhere to be.
518
00:21:14,849 --> 00:21:15,899
Yeah.
519
00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:19,970
♪ Even with my dark side ♪
520
00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:22,523
♪ Don't run away ♪
521
00:21:22,557 --> 00:21:26,427
♪ Don't run away ♪
522
00:21:26,771 --> 00:21:36,902
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- Resync for WEB-DL by lost0ne -
- www.addic7ed.com -