1
00:00:02,923 --> 00:00:05,694
I was reading about this
jellyfish that never dies.
2
00:00:05,726 --> 00:00:09,015
Instead, it reverts to its asexual
state and then grows up again.
3
00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:11,106
We thought my 90-year-old
grandfather had reverted
4
00:00:11,125 --> 00:00:12,894
to an asexual state,
but the lawsuit
5
00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:16,003
from his Jamaican caregiver
proved us all wrong.
6
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:20,093
My point is, immortality is not
only a possibility, it is real.
7
00:00:20,141 --> 00:00:22,527
Only if you're this
jellyfish which periodically
8
00:00:22,538 --> 00:00:25,318
reverts to a mass of
undifferentiated protoplasm.
9
00:00:25,582 --> 00:00:27,343
If I could keep
my Gmail account,
10
00:00:27,368 --> 00:00:29,274
I'd be okay with that.
11
00:00:30,128 --> 00:00:32,353
- Hello, fellas.
- Hey.
12
00:00:32,429 --> 00:00:34,859
Remember when we were trying
to figure out what that smell
13
00:00:34,877 --> 00:00:37,023
coming from Professor
Tupperman's office was?
14
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:37,848
Yeah?
15
00:00:37,861 --> 00:00:40,245
Turns out it was Tupperman.
16
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,023
Dead at his desk for two weeks.
17
00:00:43,198 --> 00:00:44,999
- That's terrible.
- Oh, my God.
18
00:00:45,018 --> 00:00:47,378
In lieu of flowers,
the department chair
19
00:00:47,409 --> 00:00:50,828
is asking that everyone donate
a bottle of Febreze.
20
00:00:51,903 --> 00:00:53,994
If we're going to change
the topic from jellyfish,
21
00:00:54,007 --> 00:00:58,220
I'd be okay with brine shrimp
or the history of the unicycle.
22
00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:01,429
Show a little compassion--
a man died.
23
00:01:01,447 --> 00:01:03,321
And turned into a puddle of goo.
24
00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:05,026
Now, we can either
25
00:01:05,044 --> 00:01:08,585
sit around and cry
over spilt professor, or...
26
00:01:08,963 --> 00:01:13,056
we can rejoice in the knowledge that
a tenured position has just opened up.
27
00:01:13,545 --> 00:01:15,148
I choose to do the latter.
28
00:01:15,895 --> 00:01:19,162
Excuse me, the whole tenure
system is ridiculous.
29
00:01:19,175 --> 00:01:20,883
A guaranteed job for life
30
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,366
only encourages the faculty
to become complacent.
31
00:01:23,406 --> 00:01:26,512
If we really want science to advance,
people should have
32
00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:28,748
chips implanted in their skulls
33
00:01:28,785 --> 00:01:31,900
that explode when they say
something stupid.
34
00:01:33,286 --> 00:01:35,432
Well, I believe people
do their best work
35
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:37,418
when they feel safe and secure.
36
00:01:41,937 --> 00:01:44,645
If you need my nose,
you'll find it firmly lodged
37
00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:47,172
up the rectum of the
tenure committee.
38
00:01:48,695 --> 00:01:51,414
You Ph.D's gonna go
suck up like Kripke?
39
00:01:51,428 --> 00:01:52,101
No.
40
00:01:52,119 --> 00:01:53,243
I mean, I'll apply,
41
00:01:53,261 --> 00:01:55,401
but I'm not gonna stoop
to playing politics.
42
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:57,549
Yeah, me neither.
It should be about the work.
43
00:01:57,599 --> 00:01:58,776
And if I can't get tenure,
44
00:01:58,794 --> 00:02:00,696
I'd like to see you
or Sheldon get it.
45
00:02:00,812 --> 00:02:04,735
Raj, don't dangle false hope
in front of Leonard like that.
46
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,121
Excuse me, but I think I'm
just as qualified as you are.
47
00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:16,569
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
48
00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:20,357
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
49
00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:21,710
♪ The Earth began to cool
50
00:02:21,729 --> 00:02:24,670
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
51
00:02:24,701 --> 00:02:26,613
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
52
00:02:26,638 --> 00:02:29,424
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
53
00:02:29,445 --> 00:02:31,508
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
54
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:32,762
♪ Bang! ♪
55
00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:34,780
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x20 ♪
The Closet Reconfiguration
Original Air Date on April 4, 2013
56
00:02:34,792 --> 00:02:37,292
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
57
00:02:37,914 --> 00:02:40,384
So "tenured" means
a job for life?
58
00:02:40,385 --> 00:02:42,016
- Yup.
- And you can't get fired
59
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,185
even if you're bad at it?
60
00:02:43,223 --> 00:02:44,690
Mm, not really.
61
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:47,255
Wow, sounds a lot like being
a pretty waitress
62
00:02:47,273 --> 00:02:48,876
at the Cheesecake Factory.
63
00:02:50,441 --> 00:02:52,877
While I disagree
with the premise of tenure,
64
00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:55,902
if they gave it to me,
it wouldn't diminish my output.
65
00:02:55,939 --> 00:02:57,929
You know, I'm like the sun.
66
00:02:58,066 --> 00:02:59,866
Can't turn this off.
67
00:03:02,327 --> 00:03:04,696
Are Rajesh and Leonard
competing for it as well?
68
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:05,727
Mm-hmm.
69
00:03:05,778 --> 00:03:08,722
Do they know they don't stand
a chance 'cause you're so great?
70
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,186
Well put.
71
00:03:12,099 --> 00:03:13,819
You know, I must say
I go back and forth
72
00:03:13,837 --> 00:03:16,066
on this boyfriend-girlfriend
thing, but those moments
73
00:03:16,078 --> 00:03:18,880
when you worship me
really keep you in the running.
74
00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:24,234
It would be nice to have
the increased income.
75
00:03:24,262 --> 00:03:25,762
Stop taking money
from my parents.
76
00:03:25,783 --> 00:03:28,700
Money from family does come
with strings attached.
77
00:03:28,757 --> 00:03:30,670
You have no idea.
78
00:03:30,728 --> 00:03:33,604
They buy me a new BMW
for my birthday
79
00:03:33,616 --> 00:03:35,010
but can I get seat warmers?
80
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,748
No.
81
00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:40,248
"Rajesh, if you want a warm butt,
you're gonna have to pay for it yourself."
82
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:42,385
Well, maybe I will, old man!
83
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,369
I think that's
enough wine for now.
84
00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:51,522
I just keep thinking
about how cool it would be
85
00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:55,106
if I called my mom and told her
that I got tenure at Caltech.
86
00:03:55,282 --> 00:03:56,245
She'd be proud, huh?
87
00:03:56,264 --> 00:03:57,495
Oh, very.
88
00:03:57,518 --> 00:03:59,481
Assuming she takes my call.
89
00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:04,254
My primary concern
with being granted tenure
90
00:04:04,273 --> 00:04:07,667
is living with an insanely
jealous roommate after the fact.
91
00:04:07,752 --> 00:04:10,326
I might need to sleep
with a gun under my pillow.
92
00:04:10,612 --> 00:04:12,400
Or a chainsaw.
93
00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:16,402
Or you take advantage of your
newfound economic stability
94
00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:17,725
and move out...
95
00:04:17,962 --> 00:04:19,460
buy a house...
96
00:04:19,754 --> 00:04:20,936
get married...
97
00:04:21,065 --> 00:04:23,207
start a family.
98
00:04:24,427 --> 00:04:25,609
Yeah, or...
99
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,602
the chainsaw.
100
00:04:30,112 --> 00:04:33,126
And I will return
to New Delhi in triumph
101
00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:35,695
atop a bejeweled white elephant!
102
00:04:37,423 --> 00:04:39,434
And you know what will be
on that elephant's back?
103
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:41,428
A seat warmer.
104
00:04:42,668 --> 00:04:45,798
"No, Father, you may not
have a ride!"
105
00:04:48,236 --> 00:04:49,871
I'm gonna make some coffee.
106
00:04:51,898 --> 00:04:54,076
So, who do you have to schmooze
to get this deal?
107
00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:55,568
I'm not gonna schmooze anybody.
108
00:04:55,593 --> 00:04:57,709
I'm gonna let my work
speak for itself.
109
00:04:57,807 --> 00:04:58,718
That's great.
110
00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:01,049
- That shows a lot of integrity.
- Thank you.
111
00:05:02,091 --> 00:05:04,164
I'm a naive idiot, right?
112
00:05:04,885 --> 00:05:06,760
Oh, good, you heard me.
113
00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:09,394
You know, if you
really want tenure,
114
00:05:09,407 --> 00:05:11,900
maybe you should cozy up to
the people making the decision.
115
00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,862
Sheldon Cooper
does not do "cozy."
116
00:05:15,287 --> 00:05:17,362
You don't say.
117
00:05:18,623 --> 00:05:21,963
But I suppose it wouldn't hurt
to know who's on the committee.
118
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:23,019
Let's see...
119
00:05:23,064 --> 00:05:25,122
Oh, Janine Davis.
120
00:05:25,146 --> 00:05:26,493
Oh, dear.
121
00:05:26,704 --> 00:05:28,058
Is that a problem?
122
00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:29,689
Well...
123
00:05:29,925 --> 00:05:31,007
Yeah, even you.
124
00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:32,661
You're a slave.
125
00:05:36,464 --> 00:05:38,558
I'm a what?
126
00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:43,115
I'm not sure;
it could go either way.
127
00:05:53,344 --> 00:05:55,836
Hey. Mrs. Davis.
128
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:57,188
- Hey.
- Hey.
129
00:05:57,213 --> 00:05:59,061
- Dr. Hofstadter.
- Yeah.
130
00:05:59,085 --> 00:06:02,398
Just thought I'd come down and start
getting ready for swimsuit season.
131
00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:05,979
- Good for you.
- Eh.
132
00:06:06,025 --> 00:06:08,694
Not that you need it.
I bet you look great in a swimsuit.
133
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,626
Thank you.
134
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,533
I've got what my father used
to call "furniture disease."
135
00:06:14,571 --> 00:06:16,239
My chest is falling
into my drawers.
136
00:06:23,221 --> 00:06:25,132
I'm not, uh, familiar
with this model.
137
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,901
How do I make it start?
138
00:06:27,167 --> 00:06:28,877
You push start.
139
00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:31,911
Right.
140
00:06:38,559 --> 00:06:40,393
This one might be broken.
141
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,683
You have to move.
142
00:06:43,005 --> 00:06:44,924
Got it.
143
00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:46,846
Oh.
144
00:06:46,970 --> 00:06:48,633
There.
145
00:06:54,377 --> 00:06:55,827
Oh, yeah!
146
00:06:56,862 --> 00:06:59,664
Yeah, now I'm feeling it.
147
00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:01,956
Oh, this is great.
148
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,736
I could do this
for the rest of my life.
149
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,282
Hey, speaking...
150
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,832
speaking of things you do
for the rest of your life...
151
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:12,509
uh, did I read that you're
on that-that tenure committee?
152
00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:13,967
Yep.
153
00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:15,996
I got to get a home gym.
154
00:07:17,288 --> 00:07:21,031
Well, I'm sure you have
a lot of good applicants, I just
155
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:23,330
wanted to say hi and...
156
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,980
let you know that I'll be...
157
00:07:26,161 --> 00:07:27,620
throwing my hat in the...
158
00:07:29,664 --> 00:07:31,239
...ring.
159
00:07:31,726 --> 00:07:33,659
All right, I'll keep
an eye out for that.
160
00:07:33,683 --> 00:07:34,884
Yeah.
161
00:07:35,082 --> 00:07:36,926
Hey, Hofstadter.
162
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,254
Funny seeing you here
for the first time in...
163
00:07:39,391 --> 00:07:41,279
ever.
164
00:07:42,373 --> 00:07:45,216
Go... away.
165
00:07:45,296 --> 00:07:46,973
Janine the Machine,
let's do this!
166
00:07:46,991 --> 00:07:48,381
Hey, Barry.
167
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,506
Well, look at that.
168
00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:53,376
Burned a whole calorie.
169
00:07:53,928 --> 00:07:55,340
I guess you got here
170
00:07:55,365 --> 00:07:57,878
early to burn off that
banana bread I baked you.
171
00:07:57,903 --> 00:07:59,616
Yeah, it was delicious.
Thank you.
172
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,677
No, my pleasure.
173
00:08:00,702 --> 00:08:03,211
Oh, if you... if you
like banana bread...
174
00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:05,492
I've got a-a great recipe.
175
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,707
The trick
is in... in fresh ground...
176
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,306
I'll e-mail it to you.
177
00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:12,085
All right, I'm warm.
178
00:08:12,130 --> 00:08:13,374
Ready to kick it up a notch?
179
00:08:13,399 --> 00:08:15,469
Let's go.
180
00:08:15,969 --> 00:08:18,039
That's enough cardie for me.
181
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:21,170
I'm just... gonna stretch out
before I hit the weights.
182
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,920
You okay?
183
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:29,479
Call someone!
184
00:08:35,592 --> 00:08:37,375
Good day, Mrs. Davis.
185
00:08:37,387 --> 00:08:39,377
This is Dr. Rajesh
Koothrappali
186
00:08:39,391 --> 00:08:41,858
from the astrophysics
department.
187
00:08:42,016 --> 00:08:45,069
Don't be alarmed,
I'm not really in space.
188
00:08:48,786 --> 00:08:50,644
Anyhoo...
189
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,906
I'd like to take
this opportunity
190
00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:54,515
to tell you about myself,
191
00:08:54,562 --> 00:08:58,820
so sit back, relax and enjoy
the following 90-minute video.
192
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,819
Oh, come on.
193
00:09:02,895 --> 00:09:04,414
Born in New Delhi,
194
00:09:04,438 --> 00:09:07,695
the third son
of an itinerant gynecologist,
195
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:10,494
I showed early signs of genius.
196
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:14,167
At the age of five,
I discovered a celestial object
197
00:09:14,185 --> 00:09:17,652
which later turned out
to be the moon.
198
00:09:20,381 --> 00:09:24,044
Mrs. Davis?
Mrs. Davis? Mrs. Davis?
199
00:09:24,109 --> 00:09:26,167
God, they're everywhere.
200
00:09:27,136 --> 00:09:28,979
Come in.
201
00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:31,772
Dr. Cooper,
how can I help you?
202
00:09:31,803 --> 00:09:34,383
Yes, hello. I'm fine. Um...
203
00:09:35,347 --> 00:09:38,723
I understand you may have
a bad impression of me,
204
00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,544
so I bought you a gift.
205
00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:42,623
Uh, Dr. Cooper,
that's not necessary.
206
00:09:42,641 --> 00:09:43,686
It's too late.
207
00:09:45,007 --> 00:09:46,507
Get ready to like me.
208
00:09:50,108 --> 00:09:51,997
Roots?
209
00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:57,733
The tragic history
of slavery in America.
210
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,736
Fun for the whole family.
211
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:04,887
Why would you think
this is an appropriate gift?
212
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,305
Um...
213
00:10:07,547 --> 00:10:09,496
Well...
214
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,144
You are black, right?
215
00:10:17,072 --> 00:10:18,970
This meeting has come to an end.
216
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:20,554
Because you want to start
watching it right now.
217
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,466
Copy that.
218
00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:24,998
Let's see.
219
00:10:25,454 --> 00:10:29,096
Up next
on the tenure committee is...
220
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:31,109
Professor Wu.
221
00:10:31,146 --> 00:10:34,676
Well, get ready for the complete
works of Jackie Chan.
222
00:10:40,093 --> 00:10:41,598
Gentlemen.
223
00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:43,261
Where have you been?
224
00:10:43,279 --> 00:10:44,899
Nurse's office.
225
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,119
Asthma attack?
226
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:48,904
Asthma, heart--
some kind of attack.
227
00:10:48,942 --> 00:10:50,717
I'm fine, though.
228
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:54,161
You guys going to Professor
Tupperman's memorial?
229
00:10:54,191 --> 00:10:55,854
- I don't know. - Probably not.
- Barely knew him.
230
00:10:55,885 --> 00:10:56,931
Yeah, you wouldn't want to look
231
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:59,495
like you guys are brown-nosing
the tenure committee,
232
00:10:59,514 --> 00:11:01,279
who will all be there.
233
00:11:03,147 --> 00:11:06,468
Oh, yeah, that's what
I was hoping for-- meerkats.
234
00:11:12,815 --> 00:11:16,232
I won't be able to make our
date night this Thursday, so...
235
00:11:16,262 --> 00:11:18,318
bad news for you.
236
00:11:19,463 --> 00:11:21,464
You better have a
good excuse this time,
237
00:11:21,496 --> 00:11:23,522
because "trimming Q-tips
to fit your ears right"
238
00:11:23,546 --> 00:11:25,401
is obvious nonsense.
239
00:11:26,512 --> 00:11:27,198
First of all,
240
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,011
when you say things like that,
people think you're crazy.
241
00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:33,201
Second, the reason
I'm cancelling is because
242
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:36,620
I have to attend a memorial
service for Professor Tupperman.
243
00:11:36,751 --> 00:11:38,381
It sounds like a long
and tedious evening.
244
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,706
Eh, it will be.
245
00:11:39,736 --> 00:11:42,534
Honestly, if I must endure
a long and tedious evening,
246
00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,081
I'd rather it be
with you on date night.
247
00:11:46,691 --> 00:11:47,854
But I have no choice.
248
00:11:47,897 --> 00:11:49,792
The tenure committee's
going to be there.
249
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:53,051
Oh! Well, in that case,
perhaps I should come along.
250
00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:55,651
Well, now that I think about it,
that would be most helpful.
251
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:56,807
Of course it would.
252
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,784
I'm well-versed in
academic politics,
253
00:11:58,809 --> 00:12:00,590
and as a respected scientist,
254
00:12:00,621 --> 00:12:02,924
I can only raise your
stock as a candidate.
255
00:12:03,147 --> 00:12:05,624
Actually, I meant
you could drive me.
256
00:12:08,179 --> 00:12:11,257
But if it makes you happy,
that other stuff, too.
257
00:12:15,088 --> 00:12:16,887
Do anything interesting today?
258
00:12:16,917 --> 00:12:18,100
Oh, not really.
259
00:12:18,143 --> 00:12:19,791
I was out shopping with Amy.
260
00:12:19,836 --> 00:12:22,809
She wanted me to help her find
something for this memorial thing.
261
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,254
Wait--
Sheldon's going to be there?
262
00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:25,976
We all promised
we weren't going to go.
263
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,218
Oh, what a jerk.
264
00:12:27,249 --> 00:12:28,506
I know.
265
00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:30,969
I was hoping to go
without anyone finding out.
266
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,818
Well, since Amy's going,
do you want me there?
267
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,156
- You know, to support you?
- Oh...
268
00:12:36,181 --> 00:12:38,172
that's nice,
but it-it's just gonna be
269
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,977
a room full of boring old men
270
00:12:39,983 --> 00:12:41,674
and I'm not sure
how much help you'd be.
271
00:12:41,732 --> 00:12:42,943
Okay.
272
00:12:42,961 --> 00:12:45,352
I'm just gonna tie my shoe
while you think about that.
273
00:12:53,691 --> 00:12:56,701
Oh, yeah. No.
Thanks, that would be great help.
274
00:12:58,228 --> 00:12:59,854
You realize
you might kill some of them.
275
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,047
Oh, then you all can get tenure.
276
00:13:05,595 --> 00:13:06,583
Come on, Daddy.
277
00:13:06,608 --> 00:13:09,576
All the other scientists
have seat warmers.
278
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,706
This is so humiliating.
279
00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:14,820
I've got to get tenure.
280
00:13:15,430 --> 00:13:17,129
Okay, l-let's meet halfway.
281
00:13:17,156 --> 00:13:20,709
How about I cut my cleaning
lady down to twice a week?
282
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:24,338
Looks like we're both going
to be living like animals.
283
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:29,997
Let's go over our emotional
responses one last time.
284
00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:31,219
Okay.
285
00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:34,814
Professor Tupperman is dead,
and that makes us...?
286
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,398
Sad.
287
00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:40,211
The fact that there are so many
people here tonight doesn't make us
288
00:13:40,223 --> 00:13:41,631
cranky and claustrophobic.
289
00:13:41,662 --> 00:13:42,862
It makes us...?
290
00:13:42,998 --> 00:13:44,667
Glad.
291
00:13:45,831 --> 00:13:48,769
Giving Mrs. Davis the box set
of Roots was...?
292
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,319
Bad.
293
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,404
- However...
- No.
294
00:13:52,428 --> 00:13:54,201
Fine. Bad.
295
00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:57,515
Unbelievable.
296
00:13:57,618 --> 00:14:01,173
You have some nerve showing up here
just to schmooze with the tenure committee.
297
00:14:01,186 --> 00:14:02,279
You're here.
298
00:14:02,304 --> 00:14:02,948
Excuse me.
299
00:14:02,961 --> 00:14:05,347
I'm here to pay my respects
to Professor... Tupperware,
300
00:14:05,359 --> 00:14:07,073
or whatever his name is.
301
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,306
So am I.
302
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:11,557
His passing makes
me feel... bad.
303
00:14:14,513 --> 00:14:17,789
Well, well, well, Sheldon,
fancy meeting you here.
304
00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:21,936
I guess the train store in Glendale
wasn't having a cotillion after all.
305
00:14:23,018 --> 00:14:25,553
And you-- you said
you weren't coming here, either.
306
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:28,283
I have a thick accent.
You don't know what I said.
307
00:14:29,155 --> 00:14:31,086
I'd like to know
why Penny's here.
308
00:14:31,111 --> 00:14:33,872
I'm here to support
my man, just like you.
309
00:14:33,878 --> 00:14:35,328
What are you going to do?
310
00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:37,881
Take people's drink orders
and get them wrong?
311
00:14:39,993 --> 00:14:41,487
Do it.
312
00:14:56,408 --> 00:14:58,658
What? Did she do it yet?
313
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,913
She plans on flirting with
members of the tenure committee
314
00:15:02,932 --> 00:15:04,610
to further Leonard's cause.
315
00:15:04,635 --> 00:15:07,435
Well, that's a fine
how-do-you-do.
316
00:15:07,717 --> 00:15:10,223
Don't just stand there.
Take your breasts out.
317
00:15:13,693 --> 00:15:15,936
Ooh, meerkat fight!
318
00:15:17,506 --> 00:15:18,976
You're all wasting your time.
319
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,932
Sheldon is the most
qualified for the job,
320
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:24,680
and no amount of gravity-defying
bosom's going to change that.
321
00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:27,377
Seriously, is that tape?
322
00:15:27,389 --> 00:15:29,715
Like, how are they
staying up like that?
323
00:15:30,256 --> 00:15:31,738
Way to hit 'em
with both barrels.
324
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,823
You two should be
ashamed of yourselves.
325
00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:39,678
Using women to advance
your cause with sexuality,
326
00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:41,884
and whatever Amy plans on doing.
327
00:15:44,005 --> 00:15:47,397
Are you implying that my girlfriend
has no sexuality to exploit?
328
00:15:47,409 --> 00:15:47,997
Yes!
329
00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:50,081
- Okay, because that was not clear.
- Sheldon!
330
00:15:53,382 --> 00:15:54,575
What?
331
00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:55,861
That was ambiguous.
332
00:15:55,873 --> 00:15:58,511
Well, now it's biguous.
What are you gonna do about it?
333
00:15:58,868 --> 00:15:59,558
Um...
334
00:15:59,577 --> 00:16:01,008
You could talk some smack
about his mother.
335
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,588
Well, yes, of course,
he wouldn't like that at all.
336
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,118
Last night,
337
00:16:05,156 --> 00:16:07,362
I was feeling in need
of sexual release
338
00:16:07,396 --> 00:16:10,276
when I happened
to come across your mother.
339
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,251
Okay, okay.
340
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:15,007
Guys, what are we doing here?
341
00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:17,123
I don't know what you're doing,
but I was about to insinuate
342
00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:20,512
that I had coitus
with Raj's mother for a dollar.
343
00:16:22,676 --> 00:16:24,110
Oh, you do what you want,
344
00:16:24,122 --> 00:16:26,429
but I don't want to lose
my friends over tenure.
345
00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:27,626
Friends are forever.
346
00:16:27,651 --> 00:16:28,707
So is tenure.
347
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,434
Walk!
348
00:16:32,373 --> 00:16:35,247
I'm just gonna go home and
let my work speak for itself.
349
00:16:35,272 --> 00:16:37,467
You're right.
This is beneath me.
350
00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:40,203
Like your mother was last night.
351
00:16:42,721 --> 00:16:44,689
How about it, Sheldon?
352
00:16:44,835 --> 00:16:47,071
What do you think I should do?
353
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:50,365
Well, you'll always be
an academic success,
354
00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:51,696
but...
355
00:16:52,294 --> 00:16:54,914
I seriously question whether
you'll make any more friends.
356
00:16:58,171 --> 00:17:00,675
I don't want any more,
but let's go.
357
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:03,996
Are you kidding? I would
"wove" to baby-sit for you.
358
00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:05,814
I could not ask you to do that.
359
00:17:05,838 --> 00:17:07,405
Nonsense.
Children "wove" me.
360
00:17:07,423 --> 00:17:11,063
Something about me just makes
them "waugh" and "waugh."
361
00:17:17,935 --> 00:17:20,820
No. We cannot lose
to that jerk.
362
00:17:21,059 --> 00:17:22,757
Yeah, screw it.
363
00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:23,582
I'm going in.
364
00:17:23,593 --> 00:17:25,151
You... Wait. Hold on.
365
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,718
I believe "Screw it, I'm going in" is
what I said to your mother last night.
366
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:33,895
Don't worry, I didn't
really say that.
367
00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:35,829
I-I find the concept
368
00:17:35,866 --> 00:17:38,393
of coitus ridiculous
and off-putting.
369
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:43,085
Should have taken my breasts out
while I had the chance.
370
00:17:49,104 --> 00:17:50,585
Mrs. Davis?
371
00:17:50,784 --> 00:17:52,412
Mrs. Davis?
372
00:17:52,453 --> 00:17:54,536
Mrs. Davis?
373
00:17:55,779 --> 00:17:58,573
I know you're in there.
I saw your car in the parking lot.
374
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:01,815
What?
375
00:18:01,933 --> 00:18:04,743
I just found out
that you recommended myself,
376
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:07,110
Dr. Hofstadter
and Dr. Koothrappali
377
00:18:07,134 --> 00:18:09,012
to be on the short list
for tenure.
378
00:18:09,124 --> 00:18:10,944
Well, despite your quirks,
379
00:18:10,969 --> 00:18:13,082
the three of you
are very accomplished
380
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,910
in your respective fields.
381
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:18,416
I don't know what you mean
by "quirks," but, um...
382
00:18:18,943 --> 00:18:21,390
...I do want
to express my gratitude.
383
00:18:21,415 --> 00:18:22,814
You didn't bring
another gift, did you?
384
00:18:22,839 --> 00:18:24,161
No, no.
385
00:18:24,198 --> 00:18:25,414
No, I learned my lesson.
386
00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:27,567
I understand
that was inappropriate.
387
00:18:27,864 --> 00:18:28,611
Good.
388
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:30,893
Anyway, thank you.
389
00:18:31,107 --> 00:18:32,910
You're welcome.
390
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,509
I'm gonna pretend
that didn't happen.
391
00:18:43,514 --> 00:18:45,234
Yeah, right on, sister.
392
00:18:45,328 --> 00:18:50,328
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther