1 00:00:13,002 --> 00:00:15,971 ♪ Maybe tomorrow 2 00:00:18,191 --> 00:00:20,625 ♪ When he looks down 3 00:00:22,095 --> 00:00:25,414 ♪ On every green field 4 00:00:25,448 --> 00:00:27,632 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 5 00:00:27,683 --> 00:00:30,152 ♪ In every town 6 00:00:32,622 --> 00:00:35,440 ♪ All of his children 7 00:00:37,026 --> 00:00:39,261 ♪ In every nation 8 00:00:42,265 --> 00:00:46,318 ♪ There'll be peace and good 9 00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,867 ♪ Brotherhood 10 00:00:49,304 --> 00:00:53,304 ♪ The Simpsons 24x17 ♪ What Animated Women Want Original Air Date on April 14, 2013 11 00:00:53,305 --> 00:00:57,805 == sync, corrected by elderman == 12 00:00:57,965 --> 00:00:59,457 What do women want? 13 00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:00,924 Throughout their herstory... 14 00:01:00,949 --> 00:01:02,497 That's right, I said herstory. 15 00:01:02,522 --> 00:01:05,764 Of plant Earth, men have attempted to answer that 16 00:01:05,789 --> 00:01:07,633 question, and failed. 17 00:01:07,754 --> 00:01:09,929 Or should I say, "maled". 18 00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,353 Ha, ha, ha... 19 00:01:11,378 --> 00:01:13,218 Keep it under your head guys. 20 00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:16,423 That I've got a date with a married woman. 21 00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:18,185 So let me guess. Is it Marge? 22 00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:21,018 Her husband's gonna be there too. 23 00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:22,458 Got it. You and Marge. 24 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,167 Give up? It's Marge. 25 00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:26,889 I'm having a lunch date with my wife 26 00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:28,908 Good one. Yeah. You got us man. 27 00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:31,104 Ha, ha. A date with my wife. 28 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:33,035 Yeah, well I got plans for lunch too. 29 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,635 I'm lying under a tree. 30 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,736 Hmm. Everybody's got something. 31 00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:41,714 Ooh... this is the coolest sushi restaurant in town. 32 00:01:41,749 --> 00:01:45,351 It got three and a half stars in the Springfield Tire Guide. 33 00:01:45,386 --> 00:01:46,719 When we got married, 34 00:01:46,754 --> 00:01:48,955 I promised you a life full of romance. 35 00:01:48,989 --> 00:01:50,223 Now here it is. 36 00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:51,524 (Marge grumbles) 37 00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:54,627 (Marge and Homer gasp) 38 00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:59,232 Not fresh enough. 39 00:01:59,266 --> 00:02:01,667 Can we get some soy sauce? 40 00:02:01,702 --> 00:02:05,955 We do not recommend soy sauce with that particular roll. 41 00:02:09,326 --> 00:02:10,943 No soy sauce! 42 00:02:10,978 --> 00:02:13,112 You and all your ancestors... 43 00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:14,380 banned! 44 00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:17,250 But-but I... but... 45 00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:20,236 Edamame them away! 46 00:02:20,254 --> 00:02:22,338 You really think that's going to get rid of us? 47 00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:25,375 How you like this soy sauce? 48 00:02:25,409 --> 00:02:27,877 The customer is never right! 49 00:02:27,911 --> 00:02:31,314 If they can be that rude, the food must be great. 50 00:02:32,683 --> 00:02:34,867 I was just leaving a tip. 51 00:02:34,902 --> 00:02:36,602 Tip included! 52 00:02:37,988 --> 00:02:39,472 Oh, Marge, this is amazing! 53 00:02:39,506 --> 00:02:40,907 I never realized 54 00:02:40,941 --> 00:02:43,543 some restaurants are better than others. 55 00:02:43,577 --> 00:02:46,212 I hope you are enjoying your sushi. 56 00:02:46,246 --> 00:02:47,647 It's as yummy 57 00:02:47,681 --> 00:02:50,750 as your poorly produced local commercial said. 58 00:02:50,784 --> 00:02:53,820 I argued against that cowboy hat, 59 00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:55,822 but in the end, it worked. 60 00:02:56,790 --> 00:02:58,458 So, without the kids, 61 00:02:58,492 --> 00:03:00,493 we can have sophisticated grown-up talk. 62 00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:02,595 Oh, yeah. Mmm! 63 00:03:02,629 --> 00:03:05,331 And I'm thinking of getting Maggie swimming lessons. 64 00:03:05,365 --> 00:03:06,332 Beats drowning. 65 00:03:06,366 --> 00:03:08,901 When God rested on the seventh day, 66 00:03:08,936 --> 00:03:12,605 did he take a nap or do a hobby he enjoyed? 67 00:03:14,308 --> 00:03:15,808 I think I'm interesting! 68 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,243 What?! What?! 69 00:03:17,277 --> 00:03:20,079 You're interesting! Why would you say that?! 70 00:03:20,114 --> 00:03:22,248 Can you chew with your mouth closed? 71 00:03:22,282 --> 00:03:25,151 It's like looking into a garbage disposal. 72 00:03:25,185 --> 00:03:28,287 (swallows) Words hurt, you know? 73 00:03:28,322 --> 00:03:29,689 (sobs) 74 00:03:29,723 --> 00:03:31,824 (slurping) 75 00:03:31,859 --> 00:03:34,093 (blows nose) 76 00:03:34,128 --> 00:03:37,763 The most romantic part of this was the hold music 77 00:03:37,798 --> 00:03:39,599 when I made the reservation. 78 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,634 Maybe it's time for a visit 79 00:03:41,668 --> 00:03:44,470 from Wally the Kissing Walrus. 80 00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:48,374 (smacking lips loudly) 81 00:03:48,408 --> 00:03:50,643 NARRATOR: Everything has its breaking point. 82 00:03:50,677 --> 00:03:52,778 Even the strongest substance in the universe... 83 00:03:52,813 --> 00:03:55,047 a married mother of three. 84 00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:57,950 That usually works, but not today. 85 00:03:57,985 --> 00:03:59,118 Uh-oh. 86 00:03:59,153 --> 00:04:02,021 Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, 87 00:04:02,055 --> 00:04:04,290 but it's become terribly ocuous! 88 00:04:04,324 --> 00:04:06,559 Uh, conversation, conversation... 89 00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:07,827 You look great. 90 00:04:07,861 --> 00:04:09,328 And, uh, how was your day? 91 00:04:09,363 --> 00:04:10,963 Lousy. 92 00:04:10,998 --> 00:04:12,532 You can't spell "lousy" without "us." 93 00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,333 I'm going to take a cab. 94 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:17,403 Marge, wait! 95 00:04:18,539 --> 00:04:20,706 Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep 96 00:04:20,741 --> 00:04:22,341 angry at each other. 97 00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:23,843 I'm not going to sleep. 98 00:04:23,877 --> 00:04:27,046 Well, you didn't have two beers with your lunch. 99 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,182 (yawns) 100 00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:32,985 Oh, my God. A marriage so perfect 101 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,188 that I could take it for granted for years 102 00:04:35,222 --> 00:04:36,522 suddenly explodes. 103 00:04:36,557 --> 00:04:38,891 What do I do? What do I do? 104 00:04:38,926 --> 00:04:41,227 NARRATOR: For a man confronted with danger, 105 00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:43,696 two responses immediately come to mind. 106 00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:46,365 HOMER: I like that picture of the sneaker with the wings. 107 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,601 I'm gonna flee! 108 00:04:48,635 --> 00:04:52,171 (panting) 109 00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:55,208 Where's an electric sidewalk when you need one? 110 00:04:55,242 --> 00:04:56,576 Fleeing didn't work. 111 00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:57,944 I have no choice. 112 00:04:57,978 --> 00:04:59,378 I will have to... 113 00:04:59,413 --> 00:05:02,715 do whatever the other thing was! 114 00:05:02,749 --> 00:05:05,051 As Homer prepares to fight for his marriage, 115 00:05:05,085 --> 00:05:07,687 another battle between the sexes begins... 116 00:05:07,721 --> 00:05:10,957 on the other side of Springfield. 117 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,627 (groans) 118 00:05:14,661 --> 00:05:16,963 MILHOUSE: Just once, I wish Lisa would get up, 119 00:05:16,997 --> 00:05:19,031 come over and sit next to me. 120 00:05:19,066 --> 00:05:22,034 She's getting up! She's coming over! 121 00:05:22,069 --> 00:05:23,769 This is a nightmare! 122 00:05:23,804 --> 00:05:26,272 I think our lunches got mixed up. 123 00:05:26,306 --> 00:05:28,474 Oh, I'm sorry. That means I threw yours out. 124 00:05:28,508 --> 00:05:31,077 But I still have a couple of your mini carrots. 125 00:05:31,111 --> 00:05:32,245 Mm-hmm. 126 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,914 What's the matter? Not a vegetarian? 127 00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:37,049 Milhouse, got anything good? 128 00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:41,921 Sure. I've got goulash, schnitzel, salmagundi... 129 00:05:41,955 --> 00:05:43,923 Ooh, a cupcake. 130 00:05:43,957 --> 00:05:45,591 Oh, yeah... 131 00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:47,727 Um... do you want it? 132 00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:49,295 Mm-hmm. 133 00:05:49,329 --> 00:05:52,398 I'm gonna give up my cupcake for a second of attention? 134 00:05:52,432 --> 00:05:55,534 Isn't there a better way to relate to a girl? 135 00:05:59,339 --> 00:06:01,307 Go wash up and help me clear the table. 136 00:06:02,943 --> 00:06:05,978 Now, that's how I clear the table! 137 00:06:06,013 --> 00:06:08,247 He could board my streetcar any time. 138 00:06:08,282 --> 00:06:09,615 (both laugh) 139 00:06:14,121 --> 00:06:15,488 Why doesn't Blanche go 140 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:17,256 for that delightful Karl Malden? 141 00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:19,925 NELSON: Who, Potato Nose? Forget it. 142 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,762 For some stupid reason, chicks dig Brando. 143 00:06:22,796 --> 00:06:25,031 Sweaty clothes and mumbling? (sighs) 144 00:06:25,065 --> 00:06:28,634 I've been wasting my time with this sophisticated act. 145 00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:38,711 Lisa, you can't have my cupcake. 146 00:06:38,745 --> 00:06:41,013 Wha...? You heard me, Duchess. 147 00:06:41,048 --> 00:06:43,215 It's mine, and I'm saving it. 148 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,451 Oh, okay. If you'll excuse me, 149 00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:48,888 I have to go think of you in a different light. 150 00:06:48,922 --> 00:06:52,325 Great. She's never gonna talk to me again. 151 00:06:52,359 --> 00:06:55,478 I'm sorry I was inconsiderate, Milhouse. 152 00:06:55,512 --> 00:06:58,981 And furthermore, I respect you more for saying no. 153 00:06:59,016 --> 00:07:00,483 (chuckles) 154 00:07:00,517 --> 00:07:01,884 Tell you what, babe. 155 00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:04,920 Why don't you get me a milk? (scoffs) 156 00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:07,056 Milhouse, where are you going with this? 157 00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:09,892 Playing the biggest hunch of my life. 158 00:07:09,926 --> 00:07:12,094 I just have one thing to say: 159 00:07:12,129 --> 00:07:13,429 chocolate or regular? 160 00:07:13,463 --> 00:07:14,697 Huh? 161 00:07:14,731 --> 00:07:17,433 Why am I doing this? 162 00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:20,569 (à la Marlon Brando): What are you doing, going to Wisconsin for the milk? 163 00:07:20,604 --> 00:07:23,739 I've seen cafeteria ketchup move faster! 164 00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:26,375 (sighs) 165 00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:27,643 (both laugh) 166 00:07:29,813 --> 00:07:32,515 Who knew having a backbone was attractive? 167 00:07:32,549 --> 00:07:33,849 Certainly not I. 168 00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:35,851 It would change the way my suits fit. 169 00:07:35,886 --> 00:07:38,454 Milhouse, you'll probably think this is lame, 170 00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:41,223 but I was gonna go for a nature walk after school, 171 00:07:41,258 --> 00:07:43,092 and I thought maybe you'd like to... 172 00:07:43,126 --> 00:07:44,927 Just start nature-walking. 173 00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:46,896 See if I show up. 174 00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:48,698 NARRATOR: Milhouse has made his choice, 175 00:07:48,732 --> 00:07:51,467 and if there's any justice, he's doomed. 176 00:07:51,501 --> 00:07:53,969 Now let's see what Maggie's up to. 177 00:07:55,005 --> 00:07:56,572 Moving on... 178 00:07:56,606 --> 00:08:00,576 Why are all his laundry-basket shots three point attempts? 179 00:08:03,847 --> 00:08:07,049 What are you doing home from work? 180 00:08:07,084 --> 00:08:08,451 I'm fighting for you, babe. 181 00:08:08,485 --> 00:08:09,785 Fighting like I would 182 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:12,288 for the last slice of cold pizza in the box. 183 00:08:12,322 --> 00:08:14,724 And to show you how serious I am... 184 00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:16,792 From the gas station? 185 00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:19,962 From the place beside the gas station. 186 00:08:19,996 --> 00:08:21,230 Hmm. 187 00:08:21,264 --> 00:08:23,933 Well, that does sound good. 188 00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:27,403 I'll just stick this in your apology card drawer. 189 00:08:27,437 --> 00:08:29,572 (grunting) 190 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,741 (gasps) 191 00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:36,812 No. I'm tired of your broken promises. 192 00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:39,115 "Marge, I'm gonna lose ten pounds." 193 00:08:39,149 --> 00:08:41,450 "Sweetie, I'll be home at 8:00 p.m." 194 00:08:41,485 --> 00:08:43,452 "Sweetie, I'll be home at 8:00 a.m." 195 00:08:43,487 --> 00:08:45,121 "I'll take you out 196 00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:48,224 to the most romantic lunch of your life." I'm done! 197 00:08:50,727 --> 00:08:54,163 Marge was so happy when I made those promises. 198 00:08:54,197 --> 00:08:55,598 What changed? 199 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,000 (gasps) 200 00:09:05,035 --> 00:09:07,086 Milhouse, seeing you there 201 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,187 saying nothing... 202 00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:10,022 it's the cutest you've ever been. 203 00:09:10,056 --> 00:09:11,357 Uh... 204 00:09:11,391 --> 00:09:12,691 Hush, sweet boy. 205 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,160 Let me get lost in the blue of your eyebrows. 206 00:09:15,195 --> 00:09:16,862 Whatever. 207 00:09:16,897 --> 00:09:19,999 Did you bring me that sandwich what I sent you out for? 208 00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:22,001 It came with fries or salad. 209 00:09:22,035 --> 00:09:23,869 Whichever you picked, you picked wrong. 210 00:09:23,904 --> 00:09:25,838 Well, I wasn't sure, so I got both. 211 00:09:25,872 --> 00:09:28,440 (chuckles) Who knows her little Milhouse? 212 00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:30,876 I'm acting like a jerk, and Lisa's eating it up. 213 00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:32,478 Why don't I feel good? 214 00:09:32,512 --> 00:09:36,549 I need advice from the most important woman in my life. 215 00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:39,068 So everything was going great, 216 00:09:39,102 --> 00:09:43,405 and then I wondered if the me she likes is the real me. 217 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,908 Well, let me say this is the first time 218 00:09:45,942 --> 00:09:47,810 you've been brave enough to sit in this office 219 00:09:47,844 --> 00:09:49,478 without a bunny in your lap. 220 00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:50,846 Where is the bunny?! 221 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,215 He's in the closet. He's fine. 222 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:56,752 I'm over here, Milhouse. Focus. 223 00:09:56,786 --> 00:09:58,053 You got to help me, Doc. 224 00:09:58,088 --> 00:10:00,656 I just don't know what to do. 225 00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:02,324 Don't worry, I'm here for you, 226 00:10:02,359 --> 00:10:05,027 and I'll be here for as long as it takes. 227 00:10:05,061 --> 00:10:07,329 (phone rings) I'm fired? 228 00:10:07,364 --> 00:10:08,731 You're on your own. 229 00:10:08,765 --> 00:10:11,000 I'll clean out my office immediately. 230 00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:14,003 I'll show you how to clean out an office! 231 00:10:15,388 --> 00:10:19,658 I don't usually say this to kids, but don't be yourself. 232 00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:21,727 Because yourself is not working. 233 00:10:21,761 --> 00:10:23,596 Be that guy you just were. 234 00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:24,630 Gotcha. 235 00:10:31,538 --> 00:10:34,790 Oh, I love you, Fluffy Fella. 236 00:10:34,824 --> 00:10:37,359 I just got fired! I need it more than you. 237 00:10:37,394 --> 00:10:38,894 Fluffy Fella! 238 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:41,430 Fella...! 239 00:10:41,464 --> 00:10:43,766 NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Homer was doing something 240 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,619 very difficult for him-- thinking. 241 00:10:46,653 --> 00:10:49,088 How do I win Marge over? 242 00:10:49,122 --> 00:10:51,090 I could get her kids to like me. 243 00:10:51,124 --> 00:10:53,025 No, that ship has sailed. 244 00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:55,294 Hmm. 245 00:10:55,328 --> 00:10:58,864 NARRATOR: Fortunately, the modern man has a third alternative. 246 00:10:58,898 --> 00:11:01,200 Hmm. Would it make a woman happy 247 00:11:01,234 --> 00:11:04,019 to do the things she asked you to do? 248 00:11:05,305 --> 00:11:07,172 I think it would. 249 00:11:07,207 --> 00:11:10,109 Searchy, where can I find brake fluid? 250 00:11:10,143 --> 00:11:13,879 There are 14 Taco Joes in your area. 251 00:11:13,913 --> 00:11:15,681 That was yesterday. 252 00:11:15,715 --> 00:11:18,817 "Yesterday" by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. 253 00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,453 Where can I find a better voice-activated search machine? 254 00:11:21,488 --> 00:11:22,821 (groans) 255 00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,157 Oh, I can't please any woman. 256 00:11:25,191 --> 00:11:26,859 (groans) 257 00:11:28,461 --> 00:11:29,795 (Bart and Milhouse giggling) 258 00:11:29,829 --> 00:11:31,280 Milhouse, I'm not sure why 259 00:11:31,314 --> 00:11:34,016 you left me in the forest, so I made cookies. 260 00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,351 But I didn't know what kind you liked, 261 00:11:35,385 --> 00:11:36,986 so I made seven kinds. 262 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:37,987 (gasps) 263 00:11:38,021 --> 00:11:39,555 I've become my mother. 264 00:11:39,589 --> 00:11:42,758 Well, common sense never goes out of style. (groans) 265 00:11:42,792 --> 00:11:44,760 (shrieks) That was too easy. 266 00:11:44,794 --> 00:11:45,894 Lisa! 267 00:11:45,929 --> 00:11:47,696 Did you see Marlon Brando 268 00:11:47,731 --> 00:11:49,565 in "Mutiny on the Bounty"? 269 00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:51,500 No, nobody did. 270 00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:53,535 Then this is just me. 271 00:11:55,138 --> 00:11:56,789 (yells) 272 00:11:58,625 --> 00:11:59,842 Ta-da. 273 00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:01,160 (groans) (grunts) 274 00:12:01,194 --> 00:12:02,544 Bart! Milhouse! 275 00:12:04,414 --> 00:12:05,447 Hmm. 276 00:12:08,151 --> 00:12:09,151 (chuckling) 277 00:12:14,638 --> 00:12:17,139 Okay, let's see how straight it is. 278 00:12:17,140 --> 00:12:19,175 (grunts) 279 00:12:19,209 --> 00:12:20,743 Guess who's coming to dinner. 280 00:12:20,777 --> 00:12:23,429 What have I told you about comical entrances? 281 00:12:23,447 --> 00:12:24,697 Sorry. 282 00:12:24,731 --> 00:12:27,066 But you never said anything about comical exits. 283 00:12:31,071 --> 00:12:32,421 Homie, what are you doing? 284 00:12:32,456 --> 00:12:34,190 I'm planing down that door 285 00:12:34,224 --> 00:12:35,625 that always sticks. 286 00:12:35,659 --> 00:12:37,543 I put training wheels on Bart's bike, 287 00:12:37,578 --> 00:12:40,079 and made an appointment with the dermatologist 288 00:12:40,113 --> 00:12:42,815 to see about my slowly receding hairline. 289 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,383 Oh, Homer. 290 00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:45,968 Yes, my love? 291 00:12:46,003 --> 00:12:48,654 This list is from six years ago. 292 00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:49,956 Oh, well, 293 00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:51,591 you know how, in the Special Olympics, 294 00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,793 they give medals just for showing up? 295 00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,479 How many times do I have to tell you to quit 296 00:12:56,513 --> 00:12:59,682 comparing our relationship to the Special Olympics? 297 00:12:59,733 --> 00:13:01,317 NARRATOR: When all is lost, 298 00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:03,786 a man's mind turns to one thing 299 00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,838 and one thing only. 300 00:13:05,873 --> 00:13:08,807 What fish may I deplete from our oceans 301 00:13:08,825 --> 00:13:10,493 for your passing pleasure? 302 00:13:10,527 --> 00:13:12,795 Perhaps some shark fin soup? 303 00:13:12,829 --> 00:13:14,080 Whale tonsils? 304 00:13:14,114 --> 00:13:15,765 Baby dolphin blowhole? 305 00:13:15,799 --> 00:13:16,966 Turtle smile? 306 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,935 I'd like a lot of food, 307 00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:21,120 and for this to be the last decision I have to make. 308 00:13:21,154 --> 00:13:23,322 Aye, you want omakase-- 309 00:13:23,357 --> 00:13:24,357 chef's choice. 310 00:13:24,391 --> 00:13:26,025 You're all I have left. 311 00:13:26,059 --> 00:13:28,027 I trust you completely. 312 00:13:28,061 --> 00:13:29,362 And I you. 313 00:13:29,396 --> 00:13:30,963 Let me run your credit card 314 00:13:30,998 --> 00:13:32,665 to celebrate that trust. 315 00:13:32,699 --> 00:13:34,533 Okay. 316 00:13:34,568 --> 00:13:35,801 This should do it. 317 00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:38,671 Thank you, Mr. Franders. 318 00:13:38,705 --> 00:13:39,939 (grunts) 319 00:13:39,973 --> 00:13:42,208 Lis, you saved us. 320 00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:44,110 Milhouse, are you okay? 321 00:13:44,144 --> 00:13:46,095 Milhouse, for Superman II, 322 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,598 I got $5 million for three days work, 323 00:13:48,632 --> 00:13:53,185 so don't expect any more free advice from me. 324 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:56,055 How about me, Potato Nose? 325 00:13:57,224 --> 00:13:59,258 Uh... later. 326 00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:04,997 (sighs) 327 00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:07,199 I see tears in your toro. 328 00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:09,135 Marriage is so tough. 329 00:14:09,169 --> 00:14:12,305 Every second, it could explode catastrophically. 330 00:14:12,339 --> 00:14:14,206 Makes me not want to come home from my job 331 00:14:14,241 --> 00:14:15,508 at the nuclear plant. 332 00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:17,877 I say marriage is like fish. 333 00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:19,895 There are parts so delicious 334 00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:22,698 they could've been sliced from angels... 335 00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:24,867 ...and parts we make into omakase. 336 00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:26,702 Omakase... 337 00:14:26,737 --> 00:14:29,005 Where have I heard that word before? 338 00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:31,307 You haven't-- now, finish your omakase. 339 00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,909 Although we have but one ocean, 340 00:14:33,944 --> 00:14:36,846 it offers many special delights. 341 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,149 (screams) 342 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:43,019 Wow. 343 00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:46,155 Wow, this is the most delicious analogy I've ever eaten. 344 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,557 I need to share this insight with Marge. 345 00:14:48,592 --> 00:14:51,160 Put this in your finest Styrofoam. 346 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,212 (clamoring) 347 00:14:54,247 --> 00:14:56,582 Once again, by eating alone, 348 00:14:56,616 --> 00:14:58,284 I have saved my marriage. 349 00:14:58,318 --> 00:15:00,886 Please enjoy, with my compliments. 350 00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:03,923 You can even eat the eyes. 351 00:15:03,957 --> 00:15:06,025 Hmm. 352 00:15:06,059 --> 00:15:08,260 He ate the eye. (laughs) 353 00:15:09,796 --> 00:15:12,698 HOMER: Marge? 354 00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:15,051 For reasons I forgot in the car, 355 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:17,536 this sushi represents our marriage. 356 00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:20,906 But what I know for sure is that I want to share it with you. 357 00:15:24,294 --> 00:15:25,528 MARGE: He's taken a step. 358 00:15:25,562 --> 00:15:27,563 He's really close. 359 00:15:27,597 --> 00:15:30,900 All he has to do is not eat a piece before I do. 360 00:15:34,938 --> 00:15:36,605 Okay. 361 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,208 But every man deserves a second chance. 362 00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:40,676 As long as he doesn't... 363 00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:43,229 I'm not hungry. 364 00:15:43,263 --> 00:15:44,530 Good night. 365 00:15:47,751 --> 00:15:51,887 Well, at least you don't have to suffer, boy. 366 00:15:51,922 --> 00:15:53,456 (gasps) 367 00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:56,826 Someone fed my sushi to a dog! 368 00:15:56,860 --> 00:16:00,229 You didn't get so mad when I told you I was fired today. 369 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:01,964 Blessing in disguise. 370 00:16:01,998 --> 00:16:04,100 Now you can get your PhD. 371 00:16:04,134 --> 00:16:06,902 I don't want a PhD. I want a baby. 372 00:16:06,937 --> 00:16:08,804 (groans) Here we go again. 373 00:16:15,369 --> 00:16:18,254 Lisa, I could be anyone for you. 374 00:16:18,289 --> 00:16:20,390 Except someone who's mean to you. 375 00:16:20,424 --> 00:16:24,110 So I'm just gonna cave in and give you the cupcake. 376 00:16:24,144 --> 00:16:26,229 I don't know... it's four days old, 377 00:16:26,263 --> 00:16:27,830 I just ate... 378 00:16:27,865 --> 00:16:29,699 Who are you, the Queen of Siam? 379 00:16:29,733 --> 00:16:31,401 Just take the cupcake. 380 00:16:31,435 --> 00:16:33,569 Okay. 381 00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:37,540 I wonder if Brando liked cupcakes. 382 00:16:37,574 --> 00:16:41,077 I'm down to two a day, but I've been dead for ten years. 383 00:16:41,111 --> 00:16:42,211 HOMER: Aw, Moe. 384 00:16:42,246 --> 00:16:43,713 Can you think of a way 385 00:16:43,747 --> 00:16:45,448 to please a woman that starts with "F"? 386 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,442 Hey, you know, it's funny you should mention that. 387 00:16:47,451 --> 00:16:49,886 I've been reading that, uh, Fifty Shades of Grey, 388 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,455 and it turns out that what chicks want now is a guy 389 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,791 to give them what for in the bedroom there. 390 00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:57,727 Whoo-hoo! I'll woo her with whoo-hoo. 391 00:17:00,147 --> 00:17:01,981 Ah, you know, if this is what women like, 392 00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:03,950 I should be a lot more popular. 393 00:17:03,984 --> 00:17:07,286 But it does inspire me to work on my fan fiction. 394 00:17:07,321 --> 00:17:10,757 "Sheriff Andy took Barney in his arms 395 00:17:10,791 --> 00:17:13,292 "and kissed him deeply, then said, 396 00:17:13,327 --> 00:17:15,161 "'Now, if Aunt Bee asks, 397 00:17:15,195 --> 00:17:16,779 we were down at the fishin' hole.'" 398 00:17:16,814 --> 00:17:19,565 I-I can't be the only one who likes this. 399 00:17:24,672 --> 00:17:26,639 Hello, there. 400 00:17:28,442 --> 00:17:29,976 (gasps) 401 00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,494 The minister's wife-- what are you doing here? 402 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,563 Um... protesting. 403 00:17:33,597 --> 00:17:35,998 Is this dominating enough for you, sweetheart? 404 00:17:36,033 --> 00:17:38,701 Go back to the cowboy thing and wait in the car. 405 00:17:38,736 --> 00:17:39,902 Help me out here, Homer. 406 00:17:39,937 --> 00:17:42,205 (nervous laugh) 407 00:17:42,239 --> 00:17:44,073 Listenpal, 408 00:17:44,108 --> 00:17:45,575 this may sound kind of kinky, 409 00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:48,544 but, uh, I would like to, uh, 410 00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:50,546 please my wife. 411 00:17:50,581 --> 00:17:52,815 Well, are you comfortable with role play? 412 00:17:52,850 --> 00:17:56,252 (Cockney accent): I think I could give it a shot what-what, governor. 413 00:17:56,286 --> 00:17:57,420 Bob's your uncle. 414 00:17:57,454 --> 00:17:58,788 Okay, no role play. 415 00:17:58,822 --> 00:18:00,156 (groans) 416 00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:03,726 HOMER (singsongy): Oh, Marge. 417 00:18:03,761 --> 00:18:07,029 Come to the garage. 418 00:18:07,064 --> 00:18:09,999 You know it'll be good 'cause I'm saying it 419 00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:13,002 in a singsong fashion. 420 00:18:13,036 --> 00:18:15,037 (gasps) 421 00:18:15,072 --> 00:18:17,373 It's a snuggle dungeon. 422 00:18:17,408 --> 00:18:18,975 Hey, Homer, can I get back my... 423 00:18:19,009 --> 00:18:20,393 (screams) 424 00:18:21,428 --> 00:18:23,162 What does this do? 425 00:18:23,197 --> 00:18:24,480 Now, just relax. 426 00:18:24,515 --> 00:18:25,464 Sit down... 427 00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:26,465 Not in that chair! 428 00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:27,834 It has no bottom! 429 00:18:27,868 --> 00:18:30,069 This is not putting me in the mood. 430 00:18:30,104 --> 00:18:31,437 Anger's a mood. 431 00:18:31,471 --> 00:18:33,656 Why would you think I'd like this? 432 00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:34,690 I don't know. 433 00:18:34,742 --> 00:18:36,109 It's just that you always say 434 00:18:36,143 --> 00:18:37,827 we should try new things. 435 00:18:37,861 --> 00:18:42,315 But I thought snuggle clamps just might rekindle... 436 00:18:42,349 --> 00:18:45,134 (screaming) 437 00:18:45,169 --> 00:18:47,670 Quick, call the Procter & Gamble help line! 438 00:18:47,704 --> 00:18:48,838 Really? 439 00:18:48,872 --> 00:18:50,540 Geez, they make everything. 440 00:18:50,574 --> 00:18:52,842 (pained sigh) 441 00:18:54,745 --> 00:18:56,279 Huh? 442 00:18:56,313 --> 00:18:58,481 HOMER: Oh, my God, Marge is here. 443 00:18:58,515 --> 00:19:00,349 What is she thinking now? 444 00:19:00,384 --> 00:19:02,552 I'm glad you're okay. 445 00:19:02,586 --> 00:19:03,820 Mmm? 446 00:19:03,854 --> 00:19:05,655 Now, I'm going to give you 447 00:19:05,689 --> 00:19:07,690 a powerful muscle relaxant. 448 00:19:09,827 --> 00:19:12,145 Hmm, that was just a placebo. 449 00:19:12,212 --> 00:19:13,212 What does that mean? 450 00:19:13,247 --> 00:19:14,730 Powerful drug. 451 00:19:14,765 --> 00:19:16,382 (chuckles) 452 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,885 Homer, I'm glad that you tried, 453 00:19:18,919 --> 00:19:21,921 even though now I can't find the washing machine. 454 00:19:21,955 --> 00:19:23,339 It's behind the Dingle Swing. 455 00:19:23,373 --> 00:19:24,407 Oh... 456 00:19:24,441 --> 00:19:26,559 So you forgive me? 457 00:19:26,593 --> 00:19:28,361 Not because of what you bought, 458 00:19:28,395 --> 00:19:31,030 but because I realized that no matter what, 459 00:19:31,064 --> 00:19:33,599 you will never stop trying, 460 00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:37,036 and there's nothing a woman loves more than that. 461 00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:39,405 Aw, thanks, honey. 462 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:42,375 So, uh, you're not cool 463 00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,177 with any of the toys? 464 00:19:44,211 --> 00:19:47,013 Actually, I'm cool with one of them. 465 00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:48,147 Which one? 466 00:19:48,182 --> 00:19:49,415 Not gonna say. 467 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:50,449 What size batteries? 468 00:19:50,484 --> 00:19:51,417 D. 469 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:52,585 Ooh, how many? 470 00:19:52,619 --> 00:19:53,686 Sixteen. 471 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,954 Holy moly. 472 00:20:01,862 --> 00:20:04,730 NARRATOR: And so Homer and Marge's marriage 473 00:20:04,748 --> 00:20:06,966 was saved for another week. 474 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,001 As for Milhouse and Lisa... 475 00:20:12,306 --> 00:20:14,640 Aw, that's sweet. 476 00:20:14,675 --> 00:20:17,844 And those are the only two that reached the window. 477 00:20:19,546 --> 00:20:22,581 ♪ What do you get when you fall in love? ♪ 478 00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:26,269 ♪ A guy with a pin to burst your bubble ♪ 479 00:20:26,303 --> 00:20:29,355 ♪ That's what you get for all of your trouble... ♪ 480 00:20:31,108 --> 00:20:34,110 Are we forever to be trapped here in this sea? 481 00:20:35,812 --> 00:20:37,280 (yawns) 482 00:20:38,532 --> 00:20:39,598 Look, a light! 483 00:20:39,616 --> 00:20:41,851 Perhaps that is the way forward. 484 00:20:43,987 --> 00:20:45,304 (stomach growls) 485 00:20:45,339 --> 00:20:47,206 (whimpers) 486 00:20:54,298 --> 00:20:56,148 Our journey begins. 487 00:20:56,183 --> 00:21:01,183 == sync, corrected by elderman == 488 00:21:37,531 --> 00:21:39,265 ANNOUNCER: On the next new Simpsons, 489 00:21:39,266 --> 00:21:41,318 Springfield fights off a bedbug invasion. 490 00:21:41,352 --> 00:21:43,237 In two weeks, on Fox. 491 00:21:44,274 --> 00:21:46,283 Shh!