1 00:00:27,917 --> 00:00:30,886 ♪ Maybe tomorrow 2 00:00:32,781 --> 00:00:35,215 ♪ When he looks down 3 00:00:37,335 --> 00:00:40,372 ♪ On every green field 4 00:00:40,401 --> 00:00:42,190 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 5 00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:45,061 ♪ In every town 6 00:00:47,269 --> 00:00:50,087 ♪ All of his children 7 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,920 ♪ In every nation 8 00:00:57,293 --> 00:01:00,844 ♪ There'll be peace and good 9 00:01:00,972 --> 00:01:03,487 ♪ Brotherhood 10 00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:07,950 ♪ The Simpsons 24x17 ♪ What Animated Women Want Original Air Date on April 14, 2013 11 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:12,633 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 12 00:01:12,862 --> 00:01:14,354 What do women want? 13 00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:15,821 Throughout their herstory... 14 00:01:15,846 --> 00:01:17,541 That's right, I said herstory. 15 00:01:17,581 --> 00:01:22,525 Of plant Earth, men have attempted to answer that question, and failed. 16 00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:24,970 Or should I say, "maled". 17 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:26,306 Ha, ha, ha... 18 00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:28,100 Keep it under your head guys. 19 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:31,559 That I've got a date with a married woman. 20 00:01:31,582 --> 00:01:33,319 So let me guess. Is it Marge? 21 00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,984 Her husband's gonna be there too. 22 00:01:36,009 --> 00:01:37,424 Got it. You and Marge. 23 00:01:37,449 --> 00:01:39,133 Give up? It's Marge. 24 00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:41,811 I'm having a lunch date with my wife 25 00:01:41,856 --> 00:01:43,658 - Good one. - Yeah. You got us man. 26 00:01:43,683 --> 00:01:46,198 Ha, ha. A date with my wife. 27 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,001 Yeah, well I got plans for lunch too. 28 00:01:48,026 --> 00:01:49,601 I'm lying under a tree. 29 00:01:49,663 --> 00:01:51,739 Hmm. Everybody's got something. 30 00:01:52,944 --> 00:01:57,159 Ooh... this is the coolest sushi restaurant in town. 31 00:01:57,190 --> 00:02:00,834 It got three and a half stars in the Springfield Tire Guide. 32 00:02:00,883 --> 00:02:04,532 When we got married, I promised you a life full of romance. 33 00:02:04,655 --> 00:02:06,118 Now here it is. 34 00:02:06,147 --> 00:02:07,660 (Marge grumbles) 35 00:02:08,277 --> 00:02:09,989 (Marge and Homer gasp) 36 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,672 Not fresh enough. 37 00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:17,045 Can we get some soy sauce? 38 00:02:17,076 --> 00:02:21,788 We do not recommend soy sauce with that particular roll. 39 00:02:24,548 --> 00:02:26,459 No soy sauce! 40 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,856 You and all your ancestors... 41 00:02:28,886 --> 00:02:30,138 banned! 42 00:02:31,581 --> 00:02:32,715 But-but I... but... 43 00:02:32,749 --> 00:02:35,168 Edamame them away! 44 00:02:36,044 --> 00:02:37,816 You really think that's going to get rid of us? 45 00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:40,377 How you like this soy sauce? 46 00:02:41,493 --> 00:02:43,316 The customer is never right! 47 00:02:43,338 --> 00:02:47,027 If they can be that rude, the food must be great. 48 00:02:48,508 --> 00:02:50,073 I was just leaving a tip. 49 00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:51,810 Tip included! 50 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,947 Oh, Marge, this is amazing! 51 00:02:54,996 --> 00:02:56,367 I never realized 52 00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:59,163 some restaurants are better than others. 53 00:02:59,273 --> 00:03:01,692 I hope you are enjoying your sushi. 54 00:03:01,753 --> 00:03:05,918 It's as yummy as your poorly produced local commercial said. 55 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,709 I argued against that cowboy hat, 56 00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:11,162 but in the end, it worked. 57 00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:13,887 So, without the kids, 58 00:03:13,899 --> 00:03:15,970 we can have sophisticated grown-up talk. 59 00:03:15,992 --> 00:03:17,935 Oh, yeah. Mmm! 60 00:03:18,019 --> 00:03:20,864 And I'm thinking of getting Maggie swimming lessons. 61 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,114 Beats drowning. 62 00:03:22,574 --> 00:03:24,569 When God rested on the seventh day, 63 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:28,274 did he take a nap or do a hobby he enjoyed? 64 00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:31,773 I think I'm interesting! 65 00:03:31,826 --> 00:03:32,959 What?! What?! 66 00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:35,387 You're interesting! Why would you say that?! 67 00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:37,864 Can you chew with your mouth closed? 68 00:03:37,888 --> 00:03:40,640 It's like looking into a garbage disposal. 69 00:03:40,856 --> 00:03:41,555 (swallows) 70 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,580 Words hurt, you know? 71 00:03:43,787 --> 00:03:45,050 (sobs) 72 00:03:45,075 --> 00:03:47,176 (slurping) 73 00:03:47,211 --> 00:03:49,445 (blows nose) 74 00:03:49,849 --> 00:03:53,144 The most romantic part of this was the hold music 75 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,378 when I made the reservation. 76 00:03:55,491 --> 00:03:59,822 Maybe it's time for a visit from Wally the Kissing Walrus. 77 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,109 (smacking lips loudly) 78 00:04:03,254 --> 00:04:05,333 NARRATOR: Everything has its breaking point. 79 00:04:05,364 --> 00:04:08,203 Even the strongest substance in the universe... 80 00:04:08,271 --> 00:04:10,500 a married mother of three. 81 00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:13,503 That usually works, but not today. 82 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:14,588 Uh-oh. 83 00:04:15,148 --> 00:04:17,566 Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, 84 00:04:17,585 --> 00:04:19,694 but it's become terribly ocuous! 85 00:04:19,751 --> 00:04:21,907 Uh, conversation, conversation... 86 00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:23,282 You look great. 87 00:04:23,313 --> 00:04:24,893 And, uh, how was your day? 88 00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:25,696 Lousy. 89 00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:28,093 You can't spell "lousy" without "us." 90 00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:29,999 I'm going to take a cab. 91 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,914 Marge, wait! 92 00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:36,443 Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep 93 00:04:36,461 --> 00:04:37,737 angry at each other. 94 00:04:37,772 --> 00:04:39,418 I'm not going to sleep. 95 00:04:39,443 --> 00:04:42,466 Well, you didn't have two beers with your lunch. 96 00:04:42,495 --> 00:04:43,579 (yawns) 97 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,718 Oh, my God. A marriage so perfect 98 00:04:48,736 --> 00:04:51,981 that I could take it for granted for years suddenly explodes. 99 00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:53,748 What do I do? What do I do? 100 00:04:53,796 --> 00:04:56,004 NARRATOR: For a man confronted with danger, 101 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,910 two responses immediately come to mind. 102 00:04:59,119 --> 00:05:01,979 HOMER: I like that picture of the sneaker with the wings. 103 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,881 I'm gonna flee! 104 00:05:04,099 --> 00:05:07,635 (panting) 105 00:05:08,102 --> 00:05:10,540 Where's an electric sidewalk when you need one? 106 00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:12,030 Fleeing didn't work. 107 00:05:12,049 --> 00:05:13,407 I have no choice. 108 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,843 I will have to... 109 00:05:14,927 --> 00:05:17,942 do whatever the other thing was! 110 00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:20,486 As Homer prepares to fight for his marriage, 111 00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:23,292 another battle between the sexes begins... 112 00:05:23,348 --> 00:05:26,588 on the other side of Springfield. 113 00:05:29,381 --> 00:05:30,250 (groans) 114 00:05:30,262 --> 00:05:32,258 MILHOUSE: Just once, I wish Lisa would get up, 115 00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:34,366 come over and sit next to me. 116 00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:37,437 She's getting up! She's coming over! 117 00:05:37,521 --> 00:05:39,411 This is a nightmare! 118 00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:41,640 I think our lunches got mixed up. 119 00:05:41,665 --> 00:05:44,049 Oh, I'm sorry. That means I threw yours out. 120 00:05:44,072 --> 00:05:46,641 But I still have a couple of your mini carrots. 121 00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:48,347 Mm-hmm. 122 00:05:48,588 --> 00:05:50,555 What's the matter? Not a vegetarian? 123 00:05:50,579 --> 00:05:52,513 Milhouse, got anything good? 124 00:05:52,536 --> 00:05:57,627 Sure. I've got goulash, schnitzel, salmagundi... 125 00:05:57,688 --> 00:05:59,325 Ooh, a cupcake. 126 00:05:59,397 --> 00:06:00,897 Oh, yeah... 127 00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:03,858 Um... do you want it? 128 00:06:04,107 --> 00:06:04,887 Mm-hmm. 129 00:06:04,912 --> 00:06:07,888 I'm gonna give up my cupcake for a second of attention? 130 00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:11,108 Isn't there a better way to relate to a girl? 131 00:06:14,772 --> 00:06:16,740 Go wash up and help me clear the table. 132 00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:21,408 Now, that's how I clear the table! 133 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:24,067 He could board my streetcar any time. 134 00:06:24,085 --> 00:06:25,448 (both laugh) 135 00:06:29,416 --> 00:06:32,619 Why doesn't Blanche go for that delightful Karl Malden? 136 00:06:32,656 --> 00:06:35,290 NELSON: Who, Potato Nose? Forget it. 137 00:06:35,399 --> 00:06:38,110 For some stupid reason, chicks dig Brando. 138 00:06:38,129 --> 00:06:40,762 Sweaty clothes and mumbling? (sighs) 139 00:06:40,874 --> 00:06:44,443 I've been wasting my time with this sophisticated act. 140 00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:54,135 Lisa, you can't have my cupcake. 141 00:06:54,178 --> 00:06:56,497 - Wha...? - You heard me, Duchess. 142 00:06:56,544 --> 00:06:58,487 It's mine, and I'm saving it. 143 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:01,412 Oh, okay. If you'll excuse me, 144 00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:04,371 I have to go think of you in a different light. 145 00:07:04,705 --> 00:07:08,270 Great. She's never gonna talk to me again. 146 00:07:08,325 --> 00:07:10,762 I'm sorry I was inconsiderate, Milhouse. 147 00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:14,531 And furthermore, I respect you more for saying no. 148 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:15,881 (chuckles) 149 00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:17,287 Tell you what, babe. 150 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,898 Why don't you get me a milk? (scoffs) 151 00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:22,320 Milhouse, where are you going with this? 152 00:07:22,345 --> 00:07:24,962 Playing the biggest hunch of my life. 153 00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:27,164 I just have one thing to say: 154 00:07:27,544 --> 00:07:28,844 chocolate or regular? 155 00:07:28,878 --> 00:07:30,112 Huh? 156 00:07:30,152 --> 00:07:32,401 Why am I doing this? 157 00:07:33,144 --> 00:07:35,615 (à la Marlon Brando): What are you doing, going to Wisconsin for the milk? 158 00:07:35,627 --> 00:07:38,971 I've seen cafeteria ketchup move faster! 159 00:07:39,863 --> 00:07:41,611 (sighs) 160 00:07:41,693 --> 00:07:42,926 (both laugh) 161 00:07:45,278 --> 00:07:48,347 Who knew having a backbone was attractive? 162 00:07:48,407 --> 00:07:49,426 Certainly not I. 163 00:07:49,431 --> 00:07:51,181 It would change the way my suits fit. 164 00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:54,018 Milhouse, you'll probably think this is lame, 165 00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:57,226 but I was gonna go for a nature walk after school, 166 00:07:57,237 --> 00:08:00,378 and I thought maybe you'd like to... - Just start nature-walking. 167 00:08:00,475 --> 00:08:02,262 See if I show up. 168 00:08:02,318 --> 00:08:04,360 NARRATOR: Milhouse has made his choice, 169 00:08:04,403 --> 00:08:07,220 and if there's any justice, he's doomed. 170 00:08:07,266 --> 00:08:09,734 Now let's see what Maggie's up to. 171 00:08:10,993 --> 00:08:12,273 Moving on... 172 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:16,290 Why are all his laundry-basket shots three point attempts? 173 00:08:20,531 --> 00:08:22,418 What are you doing home from work? 174 00:08:22,441 --> 00:08:23,681 I'm fighting for you, babe. 175 00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:27,062 Fighting like I would for the last slice of cold pizza in the box. 176 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,131 And to show you how serious I am... 177 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,244 From the gas station? 178 00:08:32,285 --> 00:08:35,631 From the place beside the gas station. 179 00:08:35,742 --> 00:08:36,474 Hmm. 180 00:08:36,492 --> 00:08:39,291 Well, that does sound good. 181 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,652 I'll just stick this in your apology card drawer. 182 00:08:42,676 --> 00:08:45,061 (grunting) 183 00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,611 (gasps) 184 00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:52,167 No. I'm tired of your broken promises. 185 00:08:52,212 --> 00:08:54,480 "Marge, I'm gonna lose ten pounds." 186 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,715 "Sweetie, I'll be home at 8:00 p.m." 187 00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:58,901 "Sweetie, I'll be home at 8:00 a.m." 188 00:08:58,926 --> 00:09:02,432 "I'll take you out to the most romantic lunch of your life." 189 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,050 I'm done! 190 00:09:06,591 --> 00:09:09,392 Marge was so happy when I made those promises. 191 00:09:09,456 --> 00:09:10,910 What changed? 192 00:09:18,838 --> 00:09:19,913 (gasps) 193 00:09:19,932 --> 00:09:21,910 Milhouse, seeing you there 194 00:09:21,954 --> 00:09:23,131 saying nothing... 195 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,448 it's the cutest you've ever been. 196 00:09:25,479 --> 00:09:27,261 - Uh... - Hush, sweet boy. 197 00:09:27,273 --> 00:09:30,210 Let me get lost in the blue of your eyebrows. 198 00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:31,622 Whatever. 199 00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:34,717 Did you bring me that sandwich what I sent you out for? 200 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,670 It came with fries or salad. 201 00:09:36,694 --> 00:09:38,486 Whichever you picked, you picked wrong. 202 00:09:38,498 --> 00:09:40,427 Well, I wasn't sure, so I got both. 203 00:09:40,451 --> 00:09:41,206 (chuckles) 204 00:09:41,224 --> 00:09:42,875 Who knows her little Milhouse? 205 00:09:42,924 --> 00:09:45,728 I'm acting like a jerk, and Lisa's eating it up. 206 00:09:45,732 --> 00:09:47,575 Why don't I feel good? 207 00:09:47,634 --> 00:09:51,434 I need advice from the most important woman in my life. 208 00:09:51,461 --> 00:09:53,913 So everything was going great, 209 00:09:53,932 --> 00:09:58,097 and then I wondered if the me she likes is the real me. 210 00:09:58,155 --> 00:10:00,608 Well, let me say this is the first time 211 00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:02,648 you've been brave enough to sit in this office 212 00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:04,189 without a bunny in your lap. 213 00:10:04,215 --> 00:10:05,549 Where is the bunny?! 214 00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:08,064 He's in the closet. He's fine. 215 00:10:08,765 --> 00:10:11,447 I'm over here, Milhouse. Focus. 216 00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:13,040 You got to help me, Doc. 217 00:10:13,065 --> 00:10:15,192 I just don't know what to do. 218 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,069 Don't worry, I'm here for you, 219 00:10:17,099 --> 00:10:19,349 and I'll be here for as long as it takes. 220 00:10:19,374 --> 00:10:20,513 (phone rings) 221 00:10:20,563 --> 00:10:21,718 I'm fired? 222 00:10:21,749 --> 00:10:23,021 You're on your own. 223 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,424 I'll clean out my office immediately. 224 00:10:25,723 --> 00:10:29,068 I'll show you how to clean out an office! 225 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:34,512 I don't usually say this to kids, but don't be yourself. 226 00:10:34,608 --> 00:10:36,642 Because yourself is not working. 227 00:10:36,832 --> 00:10:38,438 Be that guy you just were. 228 00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:39,483 Gotcha. 229 00:10:46,321 --> 00:10:49,283 Oh, I love you, Fluffy Fella. 230 00:10:49,307 --> 00:10:52,216 I just got fired! I need it more than you. 231 00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:53,772 Fluffy Fella! 232 00:10:53,806 --> 00:10:56,307 Fella...! 233 00:10:56,416 --> 00:10:58,544 NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Homer was doing something 234 00:10:58,562 --> 00:11:01,403 very difficult for him-- thinking. 235 00:11:01,474 --> 00:11:03,909 How do I win Marge over? 236 00:11:03,943 --> 00:11:05,990 I could get her kids to like me. 237 00:11:06,251 --> 00:11:08,270 No, that ship has sailed. 238 00:11:08,674 --> 00:11:09,396 Hmm. 239 00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:13,371 NARRATOR: Fortunately, the modern man has a third alternative. 240 00:11:13,595 --> 00:11:15,953 Hmm. Would it make a woman happy 241 00:11:15,972 --> 00:11:19,175 to do the things she asked you to do? 242 00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:22,113 I think it would. 243 00:11:22,477 --> 00:11:24,794 Searchy, where can I find brake fluid? 244 00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:28,566 There are 14 Taco Joes in your area. 245 00:11:28,578 --> 00:11:30,391 That was yesterday. 246 00:11:30,403 --> 00:11:33,427 "Yesterday" by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. 247 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,106 Where can I find a better voice-activated search machine? 248 00:11:36,124 --> 00:11:37,654 (groans) 249 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,868 Oh, I can't please any woman. 250 00:11:40,143 --> 00:11:41,350 (groans) 251 00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:44,180 (Bart and Milhouse giggling) 252 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,847 Milhouse, I'm not sure why 253 00:11:45,865 --> 00:11:48,581 you left me in the forest, so I made cookies. 254 00:11:48,593 --> 00:11:50,221 But I didn't know what kind you liked, 255 00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,988 so I made seven kinds. 256 00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:52,940 (gasps) 257 00:11:52,958 --> 00:11:54,217 I've become my mother. 258 00:11:54,229 --> 00:11:57,523 Well, common sense never goes out of style. (groans) 259 00:11:57,548 --> 00:11:58,180 (shrieks) 260 00:11:58,205 --> 00:11:59,460 That was too easy. 261 00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:00,566 Lisa! 262 00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:04,243 Did you see Marlon Brando in "Mutiny on the Bounty"? 263 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:06,161 No, nobody did. 264 00:12:06,214 --> 00:12:08,325 Then this is just me. 265 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,463 (yells) 266 00:12:13,493 --> 00:12:14,511 Ta-da. 267 00:12:14,557 --> 00:12:15,841 (groans) (grunts) 268 00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:17,290 Bart! Milhouse! 269 00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:20,421 Hmm. 270 00:12:22,857 --> 00:12:23,857 (chuckling) 271 00:12:29,606 --> 00:12:32,107 Okay, let's see how straight it is. 272 00:12:32,171 --> 00:12:33,734 (grunts) 273 00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,630 Guess who's coming to dinner. 274 00:12:35,642 --> 00:12:38,302 What have I told you about comical entrances? 275 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:39,364 Sorry. 276 00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:42,180 But you never said anything about comical exits. 277 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,190 Homie, what are you doing? 278 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:50,342 I'm planing down that door that always sticks. 279 00:12:50,371 --> 00:12:52,415 I put training wheels on Bart's bike, 280 00:12:52,427 --> 00:12:55,068 and made an appointment with the dermatologist 281 00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:57,671 to see about my slowly receding hairline. 282 00:12:57,702 --> 00:13:00,677 - Oh, Homer. - Yes, my love? 283 00:13:00,735 --> 00:13:03,594 This list is from six years ago. 284 00:13:03,606 --> 00:13:04,800 Oh, well, 285 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:08,562 you know how, in the Special Olympics, they give medals just for showing up? 286 00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:10,887 How many times do I have to tell you to quit 287 00:13:10,899 --> 00:13:14,623 comparing our relationship to the Special Olympics? 288 00:13:14,733 --> 00:13:16,317 NARRATOR: When all is lost, 289 00:13:16,382 --> 00:13:18,817 a man's mind turns to one thing 290 00:13:18,851 --> 00:13:20,869 and one thing only. 291 00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:23,939 What fish may I deplete from our oceans 292 00:13:23,957 --> 00:13:25,366 for your passing pleasure? 293 00:13:25,414 --> 00:13:27,682 Perhaps some shark fin soup? 294 00:13:27,702 --> 00:13:28,840 Whale tonsils? 295 00:13:28,887 --> 00:13:30,538 Baby dolphin blowhole? 296 00:13:30,589 --> 00:13:31,831 Turtle smile? 297 00:13:31,873 --> 00:13:33,654 I'd like a lot of food, 298 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,018 and for this to be the last decision I have to make. 299 00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:38,177 Aye, you want omakase-- 300 00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:39,202 chef's choice. 301 00:13:39,245 --> 00:13:40,879 You're all I have left. 302 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,821 I trust you completely. 303 00:13:42,827 --> 00:13:44,171 And I you. 304 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:47,408 Let me run your credit card to celebrate that trust. 305 00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:49,148 Okay. 306 00:13:49,441 --> 00:13:50,547 This should do it. 307 00:13:50,577 --> 00:13:53,147 Thank you, Mr. Franders. 308 00:13:53,472 --> 00:13:54,919 (grunts) 309 00:13:54,937 --> 00:13:57,036 Lis, you saved us. 310 00:13:57,077 --> 00:13:58,886 Milhouse, are you okay? 311 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,849 Milhouse, for Superman II, 312 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,472 I got $5 million for three days work, 313 00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:07,456 so don't expect any more free advice from me. 314 00:14:07,755 --> 00:14:10,149 How about me, Potato Nose? 315 00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:14,168 Uh... later. 316 00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:19,691 (sighs) 317 00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:22,081 I see tears in your toro. 318 00:14:22,107 --> 00:14:24,144 Marriage is so tough. 319 00:14:24,186 --> 00:14:27,211 Every second, it could explode catastrophically. 320 00:14:27,305 --> 00:14:30,335 Makes me not want to come home from my job at the nuclear plant. 321 00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:32,851 I say marriage is like fish. 322 00:14:32,902 --> 00:14:34,983 There are parts so delicious 323 00:14:35,003 --> 00:14:37,538 they could've been sliced from angels... 324 00:14:37,606 --> 00:14:39,881 ...and parts we make into omakase. 325 00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:41,719 Omakase... 326 00:14:41,746 --> 00:14:43,798 Where have I heard that word before? 327 00:14:43,856 --> 00:14:46,223 You haven't-- now, finish your omakase. 328 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,043 Although we have but one ocean, 329 00:14:49,092 --> 00:14:51,994 it offers many special delights. 330 00:14:54,073 --> 00:14:55,136 (screams) 331 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,556 Wow. 332 00:14:57,839 --> 00:15:01,038 Wow, this is the most delicious analogy I've ever eaten. 333 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,370 I need to share this insight with Marge. 334 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,970 Put this in your finest Styrofoam. 335 00:15:06,054 --> 00:15:08,804 (clamoring) 336 00:15:09,913 --> 00:15:13,115 Once again, by eating alone, I have saved my marriage. 337 00:15:13,266 --> 00:15:15,834 Please enjoy, with my compliments. 338 00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:18,685 You can even eat the eyes. 339 00:15:18,855 --> 00:15:20,518 Hmm. 340 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,513 He ate the eye. (laughs) 341 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,098 HOMER: Marge? 342 00:15:27,862 --> 00:15:30,102 For reasons I forgot in the car, 343 00:15:30,139 --> 00:15:32,417 this sushi represents our marriage. 344 00:15:32,442 --> 00:15:36,060 But what I know for sure is that I want to share it with you. 345 00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,438 MARGE: He's taken a step. 346 00:15:40,471 --> 00:15:42,412 He's really close. 347 00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:46,212 All he has to do is not eat a piece before I do. 348 00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:51,592 Okay. 349 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:54,218 But every man deserves a second chance. 350 00:15:54,339 --> 00:15:56,059 As long as he doesn't... 351 00:15:56,535 --> 00:15:58,002 I'm not hungry. 352 00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,422 Good night. 353 00:16:02,579 --> 00:16:05,848 Well, at least you don't have to suffer, boy. 354 00:16:07,613 --> 00:16:08,582 (gasps) 355 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:11,651 Someone fed my sushi to a dog! 356 00:16:11,683 --> 00:16:15,124 You didn't get so mad when I told you I was fired today. 357 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,748 Blessing in disguise. 358 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,902 Now you can get your PhD. 359 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:21,608 I don't want a PhD. I want a baby. 360 00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:22,348 (groans) 361 00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:23,948 Here we go again. 362 00:16:30,278 --> 00:16:32,889 Lisa, I could be anyone for you. 363 00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:35,031 Except someone who's mean to you. 364 00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:38,640 So I'm just gonna cave in and give you the cupcake. 365 00:16:38,716 --> 00:16:41,101 I don't know... it's four days old, 366 00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:42,451 I just ate... 367 00:16:42,494 --> 00:16:44,278 Who are you, the Queen of Siam? 368 00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:45,933 Just take the cupcake. 369 00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:47,796 Okay. 370 00:16:49,417 --> 00:16:52,032 I wonder if Brando liked cupcakes. 371 00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:55,596 I'm down to two a day, but I've been dead for ten years. 372 00:16:55,690 --> 00:16:56,852 HOMER: Aw, Moe. 373 00:16:56,878 --> 00:17:00,129 Can you think of a way to please a woman that starts with "F"? 374 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,838 Hey, you know, it's funny you should mention that. 375 00:17:01,869 --> 00:17:04,424 I've been reading that, uh, Fifty Shades of Grey, 376 00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:07,127 and it turns out that what chicks want now is a guy 377 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,402 to give them what for in the bedroom there. 378 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:12,448 Whoo-hoo! I'll woo her with whoo-hoo. 379 00:17:14,727 --> 00:17:16,384 Ah, you know, if this is what women like, 380 00:17:16,421 --> 00:17:18,567 I should be a lot more popular. 381 00:17:18,601 --> 00:17:22,048 But it does inspire me to work on my fan fiction. 382 00:17:22,762 --> 00:17:25,539 "Sheriff Andy took Barney in his arms 383 00:17:25,558 --> 00:17:27,978 "and kissed him deeply, then said, 384 00:17:27,996 --> 00:17:29,694 "'Now, if Aunt Bee asks, 385 00:17:29,718 --> 00:17:31,503 we were down at the fishin' hole.'" 386 00:17:31,912 --> 00:17:34,577 I-I can't be the only one who likes this. 387 00:17:39,639 --> 00:17:41,295 Hello, there. 388 00:17:43,565 --> 00:17:44,297 (gasps) 389 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:46,112 The minister's wife-- what are you doing here? 390 00:17:46,145 --> 00:17:47,991 Um... protesting. 391 00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:50,603 Is this dominating enough for you, sweetheart? 392 00:17:50,631 --> 00:17:53,299 Go back to the cowboy thing and wait in the car. 393 00:17:53,353 --> 00:17:54,570 Help me out here, Homer. 394 00:17:54,597 --> 00:17:56,865 (nervous laugh) 395 00:17:57,587 --> 00:17:58,607 Listen pal, 396 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,164 this may sound kind of kinky, 397 00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:02,960 but, uh, I would like to, uh, 398 00:18:03,146 --> 00:18:05,113 please my wife. 399 00:18:05,142 --> 00:18:07,376 Well, are you comfortable with role play? 400 00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:10,832 (Cockney accent): I think I could give it a shot what-what, governor. 401 00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:13,528 - Bob's your uncle. - Okay, no role play. 402 00:18:13,564 --> 00:18:14,898 (groans) 403 00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:19,032 HOMER (singsongy): Oh, Marge. 404 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,916 Come to the garage. 405 00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:24,646 You know it'll be good 'cause I'm saying it 406 00:18:24,658 --> 00:18:27,594 in a singsong fashion. 407 00:18:27,997 --> 00:18:29,615 (gasps) 408 00:18:29,671 --> 00:18:31,868 It's a snuggle dungeon. 409 00:18:31,905 --> 00:18:33,629 Hey, Homer, can I get back my... 410 00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,017 (screams) 411 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,615 What does this do? 412 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,267 Now, just relax. 413 00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:40,401 Sit down... 414 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,385 Not in that chair! 415 00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:42,799 It has no bottom! 416 00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,867 This is not putting me in the mood. 417 00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:45,974 Anger's a mood. 418 00:18:46,009 --> 00:18:48,194 Why would you think I'd like this? 419 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,246 I don't know. 420 00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:52,312 It's just that you always say we should try new things. 421 00:18:52,486 --> 00:18:56,680 But I thought snuggle clamps just might rekindle... 422 00:18:56,711 --> 00:18:59,433 (screaming) 423 00:18:59,719 --> 00:19:02,394 Quick, call the Procter & Gamble help line! 424 00:19:02,404 --> 00:19:03,354 Really? 425 00:19:03,373 --> 00:19:05,210 Geez, they make everything. 426 00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:07,530 (pained sigh) 427 00:19:10,145 --> 00:19:11,346 Huh? 428 00:19:11,408 --> 00:19:13,126 HOMER: Oh, my God, Marge is here. 429 00:19:13,144 --> 00:19:14,987 What is she thinking now? 430 00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,190 I'm glad you're okay. 431 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,658 Mmm? 432 00:19:19,104 --> 00:19:22,637 Now, I'm going to give you a powerful muscle relaxant. 433 00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:26,748 Hmm, that was just a placebo. 434 00:19:26,773 --> 00:19:27,949 What does that mean? 435 00:19:27,997 --> 00:19:29,299 Powerful drug. 436 00:19:29,328 --> 00:19:30,945 (chuckles) 437 00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:33,585 Homer, I'm glad that you tried, 438 00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:36,570 even though now I can't find the washing machine. 439 00:19:36,607 --> 00:19:37,973 It's behind the Dingle Swing. 440 00:19:37,998 --> 00:19:39,032 Oh... 441 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,992 So you forgive me? 442 00:19:41,023 --> 00:19:42,908 Not because of what you bought, 443 00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:45,856 but because I realized that no matter what, 444 00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:48,202 you will never stop trying, 445 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:51,631 and there's nothing a woman loves more than that. 446 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,075 Aw, thanks, honey. 447 00:19:54,207 --> 00:19:57,170 So, uh, you're not cool 448 00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:58,773 with any of the toys? 449 00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:02,057 Actually, I'm cool with one of them. 450 00:20:02,088 --> 00:20:04,063 - Which one? - Not gonna say. 451 00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,155 What size batteries? 452 00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:05,956 D. 453 00:20:05,969 --> 00:20:07,176 Ooh, how many? 454 00:20:07,195 --> 00:20:08,394 Sixteen. 455 00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:09,827 Holy moly. 456 00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:19,255 NARRATOR: And so Homer and Marge's marriage 457 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,541 was saved for another week. 458 00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:23,825 As for Milhouse and Lisa... 459 00:20:27,263 --> 00:20:29,301 Aw, that's sweet. 460 00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:32,745 And those are the only two that reached the window. 461 00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:37,434 ♪ What do you get when you fall in love? ♪ 462 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:41,150 ♪ A guy with a pin to burst your bubble ♪ 463 00:20:41,178 --> 00:20:44,230 ♪ That's what you get for all of your trouble... ♪ 464 00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:49,012 Are we forever to be trapped here in this sea? 465 00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:52,485 (yawns) 466 00:20:53,095 --> 00:20:54,161 Look, a light! 467 00:20:54,217 --> 00:20:56,452 Perhaps that is the way forward. 468 00:20:58,606 --> 00:20:59,923 (stomach growls) 469 00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:01,856 (whimpers) 470 00:21:08,911 --> 00:21:10,761 Our journey begins. 471 00:21:10,821 --> 00:21:15,821 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 472 00:21:52,557 --> 00:21:54,103 ANNOUNCER: On the next new Simpsons, 473 00:21:54,129 --> 00:21:56,301 Springfield fights off a bedbug invasion. 474 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,282 In two weeks, on Fox. 475 00:21:59,106 --> 00:22:00,810 Shh!