1
00:00:02,453 --> 00:00:03,610
After someone dumps you

2
00:00:03,635 --> 00:00:07,063
and smashes your heart into
a million little pieces,

3
00:00:07,076 --> 00:00:09,372
sometimes you blame yourself.

4
00:00:09,925 --> 00:00:11,568
But not in this case.

5
00:00:15,836 --> 00:00:18,769
Tessa, would it be okay
if we had a word with you?

6
00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:20,596
Sorry, I'm not really
in the mood right now.

7
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:24,500
Um, sometimes we inflect up
at the end of our sentences?

8
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,809
But that doesn't mean
we're asking a question?

9
00:00:26,865 --> 00:00:28,904
You know, they do that. I've noticed.

10
00:00:29,324 --> 00:00:31,896
Wow. Okay. So what can I do for you ladies?

11
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,317
Ryan shared with us that having your locker

12
00:00:34,373 --> 00:00:35,769
so visible from his locker

13
00:00:35,812 --> 00:00:38,372
is both distracting and upsetting to him.

14
00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:42,163
Ryan was wondering if you could
move your locker into there.

15
00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:45,248
Ryan would really appreciate it.

16
00:00:46,086 --> 00:00:47,226
Really?

17
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:49,028
Ryan said that?

18
00:00:49,328 --> 00:00:50,897
Doesn't really sound like Ryan.

19
00:00:50,899 --> 00:00:53,501
It's mean, and it's
also kind of complicated.

20
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,323
Are you sure someone else
didn't come up with that idea?

21
00:01:00,675 --> 00:01:02,979
No. It was totes Ryan.

22
00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:06,595
This isn't over.

23
00:01:06,602 --> 00:01:07,966
Oh. Okay.

24
00:01:08,022 --> 00:01:10,011
I know where you don't eat lunch!

25
00:01:10,131 --> 00:01:12,303
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

26
00:01:20,461 --> 00:01:23,420
So, how the big combo with Thessa go?

27
00:01:23,639 --> 00:01:25,403
Oh. Yeah.

28
00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:26,787
It didn't.

29
00:01:26,907 --> 00:01:28,235
But on the other hand...

30
00:01:28,269 --> 00:01:29,787
Coffee? I just brewed a pot.

31
00:01:29,821 --> 00:01:32,661
George, I will not be
distracted by your brewery.

32
00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:34,875
- Although I will take a cup.
- Yeah.

33
00:01:34,909 --> 00:01:36,196
Black, with six equals.

34
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,461
Look, I meant to talk
to Tessa this morning.

35
00:01:39,497 --> 00:01:40,888
I really did, but, you know,

36
00:01:41,107 --> 00:01:44,254
she's... she's just getting
over her breakup with Ryan.

37
00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:46,087
Plus she slept in.

38
00:01:46,788 --> 00:01:48,326
Then it looked rainy out.

39
00:01:48,364 --> 00:01:50,341
George McGovern Altman.

40
00:01:51,017 --> 00:01:52,912
That is not my middle name.

41
00:01:52,919 --> 00:01:54,308
Are you afraid of your own daughter?

42
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,365
Is that what's going on here?

43
00:01:55,485 --> 00:01:56,785
No. 

44
00:01:56,829 --> 00:01:59,064
But telling her I
unexpectedly sold the house...

45
00:01:59,107 --> 00:02:00,608
Well, you got a cash offer.

46
00:02:00,652 --> 00:02:02,003
They put a clock on you.

47
00:02:02,028 --> 00:02:04,021
They did. They put a clock to my head.

48
00:02:04,072 --> 00:02:05,239
It's a lot of pressure.

49
00:02:05,273 --> 00:02:06,214
I hear ya.

50
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:07,796
I hear ya, too.

51
00:02:07,916 --> 00:02:10,962
Whoa! Sheila, what are you doing here?

52
00:02:10,974 --> 00:02:12,000
I'm working.

53
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,852
Unlike you decadent bohemians,

54
00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:15,247
I don't have the luxury of sitting around

55
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,983
sipping coffee at 8:00 A.M.,

56
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:17,687
pantyless.

57
00:02:17,743 --> 00:02:20,997
I am 100% wearing a flesh-colored panty.

58
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,623
She was talking about me.

59
00:02:22,657 --> 00:02:24,570
Hey. I thought it was
your job to sell the house,

60
00:02:24,582 --> 00:02:25,827
not occupy it.

61
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,486
If I don't get this
dump through inspection,

62
00:02:28,511 --> 00:02:29,619
I don't get my commission,

63
00:02:29,644 --> 00:02:31,765
and the Shays are living
on crackers and tuna.

64
00:02:31,796 --> 00:02:34,567
Now does this look like mold to you or...

65
00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:36,768
coffee grounds. Mm.

66
00:02:36,888 --> 00:02:38,922
You're a blonde roast
boy. Should have known.

67
00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:41,718
Okay. Sheila, this is kind
of a private conversation.

68
00:02:41,749 --> 00:02:43,110
So if you don't mind...

69
00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:44,344
Fine.

70
00:02:44,362 --> 00:02:47,373
I am going to check the
discharge on your sump pump.

71
00:02:48,356 --> 00:02:49,931
Look, I don't blame you

72
00:02:49,945 --> 00:02:52,202
for being a little wary
of springing this on Tessa.

73
00:02:52,529 --> 00:02:55,989
Redheads in particular can be skittish.

74
00:02:56,308 --> 00:02:59,217
But she and I have a rapport.
Maybe I can feel her out

75
00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:01,413
on the whole us living together thing.

76
00:03:01,669 --> 00:03:03,271
- Co-parenting.
- Yes.

77
00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:05,404
Right. Right. Why not start now?

78
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:06,737
You can talk to her after school.

79
00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:08,520
Okay. And you can pick up Dalia.

80
00:03:13,882 --> 00:03:15,659
Backseat, huh? Okay.

81
00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:17,668
Could you kill the air back here?

82
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,038
Uh, sure.

83
00:03:19,488 --> 00:03:20,865
Good day at school?

84
00:03:24,261 --> 00:03:27,340
You might wonder why
I'm picking you up today

85
00:03:27,371 --> 00:03:29,091
instead of your mom. No big reason.

86
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,925
Just thought we'd mix it up for once.

87
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,034
And besides, I haven't gotten
to connect with you in a while.

88
00:03:34,485 --> 00:03:36,099
I'm not stupid, daddy Altman.

89
00:03:36,437 --> 00:03:37,594
I know what this is.

90
00:03:37,619 --> 00:03:39,990
You and mommy are at the
stage in your relationship

91
00:03:40,008 --> 00:03:41,622
where you've decided to move in together,

92
00:03:41,641 --> 00:03:43,262
only you're worried Tessa won't react well,

93
00:03:43,286 --> 00:03:44,619
so you sent mommy to deal with her

94
00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:47,741
while you pick me up in your
compact, fuel-efficient car.

95
00:03:48,892 --> 00:03:50,759
I'm sorry I had to break that to you.

96
00:03:50,879 --> 00:03:53,165
I know you and Tessa haven't

97
00:03:53,416 --> 00:03:54,823
always been the closest.

98
00:03:54,842 --> 00:03:57,332
Tessa and I are great. We're aces.

99
00:03:57,726 --> 00:03:59,353
Just this morning at school,

100
00:03:59,346 --> 00:04:01,687
I was helping her get through
her messy public breakup.

101
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:04,640
If we lived in the same house,
I could help her even harder.

102
00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:06,866
That... I'm happy to hear that.

103
00:04:07,179 --> 00:04:10,010
You can drop me off just
up here on the right.

104
00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:11,909
- Oh. Okay.
- Keep the change.

105
00:04:12,198 --> 00:04:13,398
What's that?

106
00:04:14,484 --> 00:04:16,318
You don't have to...

107
00:04:16,370 --> 00:04:19,636
Oh, man, I just hope
it's not the wrong move,

108
00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:22,446
letting Dallas broach
this thing with Tessa.

109
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,835
Oh, no.

110
00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:24,817
What?

111
00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:26,757
Oh, no.

112
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,414
Carmen and Bob. 

113
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:31,712
Look at him lappin' at her sample

114
00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:34,158
like a sailor on shore leave.

115
00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:36,204
He is really getting in there.

116
00:04:36,223 --> 00:04:38,369
That so-called "health care professional"

117
00:04:38,369 --> 00:04:40,002
learned the contents of my heart

118
00:04:39,983 --> 00:04:41,566
only to tear them asunder!

119
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,942
Hey. Take... take it easy.

120
00:04:43,011 --> 00:04:45,820
For a therapist to go after
the love interest of a client

121
00:04:45,864 --> 00:04:47,547
is wrong in every way,

122
00:04:47,572 --> 00:04:49,718
but remember, before she was into him,

123
00:04:50,262 --> 00:04:51,695
she wasn't into you.

124
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,780
You need to move on, Noah.

125
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,866
You're right. I need to move on.

126
00:04:59,053 --> 00:05:01,387
No matter how painful...

127
00:05:01,944 --> 00:05:04,647
I need to learn to lick my own spoon.

128
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,533
It was hard to concentrate

129
00:05:14,527 --> 00:05:16,936
on whatever crap I was
supposed to concentrate on

130
00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:20,145
when all I could do was think
about how to get back at Dalia.

131
00:05:20,183 --> 00:05:22,516
I could tell everyone her biggest secret...

132
00:05:22,754 --> 00:05:24,568
that she hooked up with Jenna.

133
00:05:24,744 --> 00:05:27,240
It would just be, like,
stooping to her level.

134
00:05:27,957 --> 00:05:31,088
Yeah. And knowing her, the
whole thing would backfire

135
00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:33,303
and become some cool trend.

136
00:05:33,423 --> 00:05:35,630
It kind of already is.

137
00:05:36,657 --> 00:05:37,558
You wanna make out?

138
00:05:37,983 --> 00:05:39,397
Eh, I have gum.

139
00:05:39,897 --> 00:05:42,156
What I really need to do is

140
00:05:42,755 --> 00:05:44,971
find Dalia's biggest weakness and

141
00:05:45,091 --> 00:05:47,042
ruthlessly exploit it.

142
00:05:47,726 --> 00:05:48,993
There is another path...

143
00:05:49,028 --> 00:05:51,146
I mean, if you're open
enough to explore it.

144
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,280
I said I had gum.

145
00:05:52,314 --> 00:05:54,366
Oh... it's not... not that.

146
00:05:55,951 --> 00:05:57,435
It's this.

147
00:06:00,773 --> 00:06:02,240
"Meow mix"?

148
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,741
It's exactly what you think it is.

149
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,980
A recording of yours truly

150
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:10,053
meowing some of the top hits
of the late '80s/early '90s.

151
00:06:10,097 --> 00:06:12,888
Just one listen to my powerful rendition

152
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,815
of Bonnie Tyler's "Total
Eclipse of the Heart"

153
00:06:14,877 --> 00:06:16,692
and suddenly seeking revenge

154
00:06:16,729 --> 00:06:19,720
will seem like, I don't know,
"What a Fool Believes"...

155
00:06:20,489 --> 00:06:23,073
which I also happen to meow on the B-side.

156
00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:26,877
Hey. Do you mind?

157
00:06:26,871 --> 00:06:28,791
Your dad said it was
cool for us to come in?

158
00:06:28,911 --> 00:06:30,549
It was recently brought to our attention

159
00:06:30,574 --> 00:06:32,727
that you still have
Ryan's letterman jacket?

160
00:06:32,847 --> 00:06:35,436
Gee, I wonder who brought
that to your attention.

161
00:06:35,423 --> 00:06:37,262
We'd rather be discreet and not say?

162
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:39,696
Dalia. I saw her texting with you guys.

163
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:42,124
So I know it was Dalia.

164
00:06:43,776 --> 00:06:46,885
Would you guys be interested
in hearing someone meow

165
00:06:46,891 --> 00:06:49,369
Vanessa Williams' "Save the Best for Last"?

166
00:06:50,771 --> 00:06:52,329
No? 'Kay.

167
00:06:55,902 --> 00:06:56,891
What happened?

168
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:58,717
I customized it.

169
00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:00,369
You mutilated it.

170
00:07:00,644 --> 00:07:02,315
Ryan gave me that jacket.

171
00:07:02,346 --> 00:07:04,104
And the only reason you're taking it back

172
00:07:04,142 --> 00:07:06,213
is because Dalia told you to,

173
00:07:06,213 --> 00:07:08,146
'cause she knew it would hurt me!

174
00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:10,217
Which it did.

175
00:07:13,289 --> 00:07:15,879
Okay, here we go.

176
00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:19,527
Uh, I don't wanna sway to it.

177
00:07:19,586 --> 00:07:20,928
- Do we have to sway to it?
- Yes.

178
00:07:21,288 --> 00:07:22,899
As Lisa tried to help me

179
00:07:22,912 --> 00:07:25,064
find a healthy outlet for my feelings...

180
00:07:25,409 --> 00:07:27,529
Noah was busy pursuing an angle

181
00:07:27,535 --> 00:07:29,560
that was slightly more sinister.

182
00:07:30,006 --> 00:07:34,650
And that's class. Namaste, my brothers.

183
00:07:39,411 --> 00:07:40,474
Hey!

184
00:07:41,244 --> 00:07:44,059
Namaste, Dr. Bob. What?

185
00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:46,730
Fancy running into you
here at the Open Lotus.

186
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:50,781
I guess our celestial orbits
are fated to intersect.

187
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,098
Perhaps.

188
00:07:52,524 --> 00:07:54,251
Or perhaps...

189
00:07:54,463 --> 00:07:55,790
you're stalking me.

190
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,624
Perhaps.

191
00:07:58,655 --> 00:08:01,233
But look, if I were, it
would just be to thank you.

192
00:08:01,637 --> 00:08:02,315
To thank me?

193
00:08:02,359 --> 00:08:05,050
Was I angry at first? Naturally.

194
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,984
I wanted to see you dead.

195
00:08:08,679 --> 00:08:12,583
But then I realized I was
clinging to a foolish dream,

196
00:08:12,615 --> 00:08:15,568
like a... like a little
child holding on to a balloon.

197
00:08:15,612 --> 00:08:17,185
And thanks to you,

198
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,967
I was able to take that
beautiful round balloon...

199
00:08:21,023 --> 00:08:22,624
and let her go.

200
00:08:22,658 --> 00:08:24,428
- I'm happy to hear that.
- Yeah.

201
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,191
But, but, but...

202
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,112
don't nama-go just yet.

203
00:08:27,163 --> 00:08:29,214
Nama-stay for a second.

204
00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:32,535
I want to thank you. I want
to show you my gratitude.

205
00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,582
- That's really not necessary, no.
- Hey.

206
00:08:34,587 --> 00:08:35,983
I got an idea.

207
00:08:36,103 --> 00:08:38,329
Why don't you come into
my office for a cleaning?

208
00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:41,032
Free. On the house. 

209
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:45,143
It has been a while since
I've been in for a cleaning.

210
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:47,001
I... I shouldn't admit this,

211
00:08:47,038 --> 00:08:50,817
but I've always been a bit
terrified of the dentist, so...

212
00:08:50,937 --> 00:08:53,714
Bob, there is nothing to be afraid of.

213
00:08:54,026 --> 00:08:55,271
Nothing.

214
00:08:55,465 --> 00:08:57,361
As Noah's revenge scenario

215
00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:59,651
was falling beautifully into place...

216
00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:02,211
mine was barely taking shape.

217
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:03,368
Drowning.

218
00:09:03,992 --> 00:09:05,092
Pros...

219
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,396
Lethal.

220
00:09:07,016 --> 00:09:08,596
Bloated corpse.

221
00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:10,707
Fish-eaten face.

222
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:12,821
Cons...

223
00:09:12,941 --> 00:09:16,400
One might say I was avoiding
feeling bad about Ryan

224
00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:18,355
by focusing all my anger on Dalia,

225
00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:20,580
but one should mind their own business.

226
00:09:20,624 --> 00:09:21,550
Hi, hon.

227
00:09:22,063 --> 00:09:24,490
Just wanted to see how you
were doing post-breakup.

228
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:25,560
Oh, I'm doing great.

229
00:09:25,772 --> 00:09:27,261
Someone tell you I wasn't doing great?

230
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,808
T-Pain, you don't have to pretend with me.

231
00:09:29,852 --> 00:09:31,116
I know you're hurtin'.

232
00:09:31,184 --> 00:09:32,436
But there is a place

233
00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:34,758
where all your troubles will melt away

234
00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:36,757
like so much provolone.

235
00:09:39,025 --> 00:09:40,239
So what you do is,

236
00:09:40,295 --> 00:09:43,148
you roll your noodles into a big ball,

237
00:09:43,173 --> 00:09:45,588
along with all the sauce and cheese

238
00:09:45,588 --> 00:09:48,466
and shame and anger and hurt,

239
00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:50,631
and then you just stuff it right down.

240
00:09:51,789 --> 00:09:52,519
Mmm.

241
00:09:52,639 --> 00:09:54,648
Speaking of eating things,

242
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:58,771
does Dalia have any
life-threatening food allergies

243
00:09:58,783 --> 00:09:59,666
I should know about?

244
00:09:59,691 --> 00:10:01,280
I don't think so. Night terrors?

245
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,297
What does she fear will
come for her when she sleeps?

246
00:10:05,653 --> 00:10:09,339
Tessa, is it my imagination,
or are you starting

247
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:12,295
to take a sisterly
interest in my baby girl?

248
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:15,583
Are you finally starting to
consider my little Dalia doodle

249
00:10:15,608 --> 00:10:17,898
as part of your family? Because...

250
00:10:17,922 --> 00:10:21,182
Let me be perfectly
clear about one thing...

251
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,641
there is nothing doodly about Dalia.

252
00:10:23,659 --> 00:10:26,737
And although you two may
share superficial similarities,

253
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:27,957
you are a nice person,

254
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:29,978
and she is, in fact, the devil.

255
00:10:39,908 --> 00:10:42,397
Well, that... that sounds
like it was a disaster.

256
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:43,743
I don't know what to tell you, George.

257
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:46,571
I had to abort mission and
take my tagliatelle to go.

258
00:10:46,596 --> 00:10:48,336
Did... did you bring up
the offer on the house?

259
00:10:48,354 --> 00:10:49,849
I didn't get the chance to.

260
00:10:49,893 --> 00:10:52,577
That girl of yours has a
lot of anger in her heart,

261
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:55,110
and she seems to be
directing it all at Dalia.

262
00:10:55,341 --> 00:10:58,175
Maybe we should put this
whole move-in plan on hold.

263
00:10:58,212 --> 00:11:00,733
We can't. They're pushing to
close in the next two weeks.

264
00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:03,854
Well, then you need to get
up there and talk to her.

265
00:11:04,073 --> 00:11:06,113
Right. Okay.

266
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,078
I will do that.

267
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:10,149
It makes sense. That's
what needs to be done,

268
00:11:10,161 --> 00:11:11,944
so that's what I'm gonna do...

269
00:11:12,395 --> 00:11:15,454
right after I take out the trash.

270
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:17,901
The longer you wait,
the harder it's gonna be.

271
00:11:18,777 --> 00:11:19,609
Right.

272
00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:22,538
Or maybe she'll... she'll mellow, you know?

273
00:11:22,563 --> 00:11:24,048
Like a... like a fine wine.

274
00:11:24,528 --> 00:11:25,399
Yeah.

275
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,318
Let's... let's let her breathe.

276
00:11:32,823 --> 00:11:35,407
When my direct approach
to getting intel on Dalia

277
00:11:35,426 --> 00:11:36,444
didn't pan out,

278
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:38,880
I decided to go a little more covert.

279
00:11:38,914 --> 00:11:40,297
All right. Picture's up.

280
00:11:41,094 --> 00:11:43,841
Although, uh, you really
shouldn't be watching this.

281
00:11:43,961 --> 00:11:45,674
It's true. We don't have a warrant.

282
00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:48,921
No, I meant 'cause the
resolution's only 480p.

283
00:11:48,977 --> 00:11:52,250
Hello? 2008 called, they want
their component cables back...

284
00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:53,345
Shut up, Reggie.

285
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:56,673
She's glossing. Can we
get tighter on this gloss?

286
00:11:56,723 --> 00:11:58,663
Okay, I'm not Wes Anderson?

287
00:11:58,682 --> 00:12:01,754
Now what is it that you're
hoping to gain from this?

288
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,156
Information I can use to destroy her.

289
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,184
Okay. Well, if it's
destruction that you're after,

290
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:08,916
I have a far better plan.

291
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,581
If this is at all cat related...

292
00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:12,607
Step one...

293
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:15,273
We undergo training to become certified

294
00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:18,307
as two of society's most
important professionals.

295
00:12:19,089 --> 00:12:20,903
Notary publics. Of course.

296
00:12:21,023 --> 00:12:23,287
Then we spend 20, 25 years

297
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:26,071
building a reputation in
the Chatswin community.

298
00:12:26,191 --> 00:12:27,272
One day,

299
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:28,993
who's to walk in our door

300
00:12:29,037 --> 00:12:32,384
needing a notarized signature
on a mortgage document?

301
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,674
Is it time-sensitive?

302
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,263
You bet it is.

303
00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:37,939
She needs it by the end of the day.

304
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,684
What do we do?

305
00:12:40,579 --> 00:12:42,062
We deny her.

306
00:12:42,182 --> 00:12:43,908
Shh. Something's happening.

307
00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:45,979
Look at that little slut.

308
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,618
She's all over Ryan.

309
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:49,752
Did you see that?

310
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:51,641
She knows.

311
00:12:51,761 --> 00:12:54,444
Hey, how much does a
bed like this go for new?

312
00:12:54,431 --> 00:12:55,389
Get out, Reggie.

313
00:12:55,457 --> 00:12:57,339
Yeah, okay. That makes sense.

314
00:12:58,367 --> 00:12:59,718
I can't believe this.

315
00:13:00,444 --> 00:13:02,643
Outsmarted by Dalia?

316
00:13:03,059 --> 00:13:05,743
What has happened to me? It's like...

317
00:13:06,216 --> 00:13:08,250
I've lost my edge.

318
00:13:19,088 --> 00:13:21,072
Your lesbian boots.

319
00:13:21,441 --> 00:13:24,050
Sorry I let you down, friends.

320
00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:29,637
Sorry I started wearing
ballet flats and Chuck Taylors.

321
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:33,122
I am sorry I forgot about us.

322
00:13:33,242 --> 00:13:35,744
Do you guys need a minute?
'Cause I can come back.

323
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:38,046
I'm the one who's coming back, Lisa.

324
00:13:39,179 --> 00:13:41,500
I'm the one who's coming back.

325
00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:44,785
Yeah, you is.

326
00:13:48,007 --> 00:13:51,148
Is this procedure going
to be at all painful?

327
00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:54,608
I have a very low threshold for discomfort.

328
00:13:54,827 --> 00:13:56,629
I bet that's not true.

329
00:13:57,342 --> 00:13:58,474
So...

330
00:13:58,493 --> 00:14:00,833
you got any travel plans coming up?

331
00:14:01,089 --> 00:14:02,359
Funny you should ask.

332
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,113
We were thinking about trying out

333
00:14:05,106 --> 00:14:08,122
this new eco-resort in Costa Rica.

334
00:14:08,153 --> 00:14:10,424
C... Costa Rica?

335
00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:15,317
I am so sorry.

336
00:14:15,323 --> 00:14:19,903
Let me just silence this sext from Carmen.

337
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:28,631
Open wide.

338
00:14:36,352 --> 00:14:39,342
You just cried down my throat!

339
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:43,203
You stole my true love! 

340
00:14:43,241 --> 00:14:46,294
I knew this was a mistake. I
never should have come here.

341
00:14:46,325 --> 00:14:47,633
Tell me, doctor. Tell me...

342
00:14:47,677 --> 00:14:50,824
wh... what magic arrow did
you use to pierce her heart?

343
00:14:50,868 --> 00:14:53,508
There is no magic, Noah.

344
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,216
There's no big secret.

345
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,429
I just listen to her.

346
00:15:00,021 --> 00:15:01,404
Come again now?

347
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,230
In my experience,

348
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:06,346
all women ever want is to feel heard.

349
00:15:06,466 --> 00:15:09,068
And I am a very good listener.

350
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,678
You listen?

351
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,345
I don't think I can do that.

352
00:15:18,534 --> 00:15:20,305
I'm not trying to blame-shift.

353
00:15:20,425 --> 00:15:22,188
But you are partly responsible.

354
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,883
I mean, the house wasn't
even on the market.

355
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:26,680
If you are done whining
and crumbing up my carpet,

356
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,302
I'm ready to drop some science.

357
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:30,881
Please.

358
00:15:30,899 --> 00:15:33,775
Every teenager loves to scream and shout

359
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,840
and text and tweet about how unfair it is

360
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:36,988
that they're not in charge.

361
00:15:37,247 --> 00:15:39,587
And the fact is, being in charge

362
00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:41,358
is the last thing that they want.

363
00:15:41,377 --> 00:15:42,997
And despite the fact that many of them

364
00:15:42,991 --> 00:15:44,073
dress as old French whores,

365
00:15:44,098 --> 00:15:46,951
they are still children,
and they're scared.

366
00:15:47,145 --> 00:15:49,053
I've got a stack of
parenting books right there

367
00:15:49,059 --> 00:15:50,617
that says the same exact thing...

368
00:15:50,737 --> 00:15:52,707
stop being her friend

369
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:54,628
and start being in charge.

370
00:15:54,646 --> 00:15:55,841
I'm in charge.

371
00:15:55,897 --> 00:15:57,011
Then prove it.

372
00:15:57,036 --> 00:15:58,381
Be the bigger animal.

373
00:15:58,613 --> 00:16:01,716
Tell her, "daddy bear is
here, and he is in control."

374
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,236
Daddy bear.

375
00:16:04,294 --> 00:16:05,207
I like that.

376
00:16:05,327 --> 00:16:08,529
Yeah. In control. I can do that.

377
00:16:08,649 --> 00:16:10,249
Wow, all this talk about authority,

378
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,989
it reminds me I have to
update Fred's chore chart.

379
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,584
Finished hand-washing
your underwear, Sheila.

380
00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:16,687
Oh. Two more stars, you get a pizza party.

381
00:16:16,939 --> 00:16:18,358
Brawr!

382
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,458
Pepperoni will be in attendance!

383
00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:22,586
♪ Ditto for my best friend ♪

384
00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:23,659
♪ fruit punch ♪

385
00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:25,046
I love fruit punch.

386
00:16:29,832 --> 00:16:32,447
Once I discovered my old New York boots,

387
00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:35,387
it was like I discovered
my old New York self.

388
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,947
Because before I softened
into Ryan's girlfriend...

389
00:16:38,991 --> 00:16:40,774
I was kind of a badass.

390
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,907
And I wasn't gonna let some vapid,

391
00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:45,781
self-obsessed mall queen bully me.

392
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:50,709
Oops. Sorry.

393
00:16:51,091 --> 00:16:52,330
In that green jacket,

394
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,282
I thought you were a garbage can.

395
00:16:55,696 --> 00:16:58,430
If you ever want to enter into
a legally binding agreement...

396
00:16:58,468 --> 00:17:00,720
Lisa? I got this.

397
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:04,643
After endless hours of
considering endless ways

398
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,112
to get back at Dalia,

399
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:07,895
the answer was finally crystal clear...

400
00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,372
Dalia was a punk,

401
00:17:09,647 --> 00:17:12,869
and punks jump up to get beat down.

402
00:17:22,204 --> 00:17:24,794
You know, for a small
man, you fight like a girl.

403
00:17:29,255 --> 00:17:30,844
Hi-yah!

404
00:17:45,651 --> 00:17:47,036
Jenna says hi.

405
00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:48,386
Ryan says hi.

406
00:17:48,436 --> 00:17:49,643
Your dad says hi.

407
00:17:49,637 --> 00:17:51,395
Your mom says hi.

408
00:18:03,152 --> 00:18:04,109
Where'd he go?

409
00:18:04,153 --> 00:18:05,548
Up here, bitch.

410
00:18:13,562 --> 00:18:14,264
Girls!

411
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:17,261
That's it! I want to see
both of you in my office!

412
00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:18,683
Now!

413
00:18:19,795 --> 00:18:22,222
Let go of each other's hair.

414
00:18:22,471 --> 00:18:24,186
Fine. Keep pulling each other's hair.

415
00:18:24,205 --> 00:18:25,394
But follow me to my office.

416
00:18:29,595 --> 00:18:31,110
Not my eyelash extensions.

417
00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:33,031
Please! I just got them sewn in.

418
00:18:34,472 --> 00:18:36,098
What happened to me?

419
00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:40,071
How did I become this
violent, blood-thirsty maniac?

420
00:18:40,191 --> 00:18:42,743
I'm gonna give you one chance

421
00:18:42,761 --> 00:18:44,932
to apologize for being an unrelenting bitch

422
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,590
since day one.

423
00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:49,447
Too little too late!

424
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,375
And?

425
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,038
Didn't hurt a bit.

426
00:19:04,158 --> 00:19:05,822
That's the topical. It's a good topical.

427
00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:06,888
Always ask for some.

428
00:19:06,922 --> 00:19:08,531
I will.

429
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,729
I wish you and Carmen...

430
00:19:13,261 --> 00:19:15,238
every happiness.

431
00:19:15,431 --> 00:19:17,548
You'll find your happiness, too, someday.

432
00:19:17,784 --> 00:19:19,917
I just know it.

433
00:19:20,903 --> 00:19:22,821
I feel like I already have.

434
00:19:24,134 --> 00:19:25,586
That's great.

435
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:29,127
You're gonna... be numb for
the next couple of hours,

436
00:19:29,078 --> 00:19:30,547
but then after that...

437
00:19:31,397 --> 00:19:33,231
you'll feel everything.

438
00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,834
Daddy bear. Daddy bear.

439
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:43,811
Just be the bear.

440
00:19:47,784 --> 00:19:49,818
Okay. Here we go.

441
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:52,598
Hey, Tess. Welcome home.

442
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,802
Oh, I sold the house.

443
00:19:53,853 --> 00:19:54,341
What?

444
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,312
Yeah. What...

445
00:19:56,972 --> 00:19:58,070
happened to your face?

446
00:19:58,108 --> 00:19:59,897
Never mind my face.

447
00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:01,555
What did you just say?

448
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,251
You look like you've
been run over by a truck.

449
00:20:03,257 --> 00:20:05,034
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine. I fell.

450
00:20:05,064 --> 00:20:06,597
You sold the house?

451
00:20:07,311 --> 00:20:08,838
We're moving?

452
00:20:09,702 --> 00:20:10,784
Yes!

453
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:12,448
Thank you, God!

454
00:20:12,492 --> 00:20:14,900
Okay. Okay. There's no... no God involved.

455
00:20:14,907 --> 00:20:16,791
We're moving, but not out of Chatswin.

456
00:20:17,422 --> 00:20:21,913
Dallas is gonna put her
place on the market, too.

457
00:20:23,115 --> 00:20:24,397
So are you telling me

458
00:20:24,409 --> 00:20:27,782
I have to share a house... with Dalia?

459
00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:31,560
Okay. Okay. Now I know you and Dalia

460
00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:34,401
have had your ups and downs, but...

461
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,154
you know, I think living
with... with her and Dallas

462
00:20:37,179 --> 00:20:39,788
is gonna... round out our family.

463
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,826
It's gonna be good for us.

464
00:20:41,014 --> 00:20:43,673
"Good for us"? Are you out of your mind?

465
00:20:43,729 --> 00:20:44,736
O... okay, Tessa...

466
00:20:44,724 --> 00:20:46,939
Do you wanna know what happened to my face?

467
00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:48,573
Yeah.

468
00:20:48,607 --> 00:20:49,807
Dalia.

469
00:20:50,486 --> 00:20:51,519
- Is that true?
- Yeah.

470
00:20:51,544 --> 00:20:52,908
And I happened to hers.

471
00:20:52,933 --> 00:20:55,363
And let me tell you something,
she looks a lot worse than me.

472
00:20:57,443 --> 00:20:59,052
That is her hair.

473
00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:01,072
And part of her scalp.

474
00:21:01,653 --> 00:21:02,805
P... part of her scalp?

475
00:21:02,838 --> 00:21:03,838
Yeah, George.

476
00:21:03,873 --> 00:21:05,232
And for that reason,

477
00:21:05,282 --> 00:21:07,754
Dalia and I will never
live under the same roof.

478
00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:10,552
Never. Not ever.

479
00:21:11,059 --> 00:21:12,392
So...

480
00:21:13,468 --> 00:21:15,326
make your decision carefully.

481
00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:19,079
I've made my decision, Tessa.

482
00:21:19,105 --> 00:21:21,451
That's... that's not gonna change.

483
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,565
Fine.

484
00:21:23,947 --> 00:21:26,337
Then... so have I.

485
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:28,970
What's that supposed to mean?

486
00:21:29,415 --> 00:21:31,110
It means...

487
00:21:31,417 --> 00:21:33,268
I'm outta here.

488
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:45,282
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