1
00:00:00,535 --> 00:00:02,499
Hey. I didn't find the
article about you teaching
2
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,952
sex-ed to seniors, but I did
find this folder labeled
3
00:00:04,987 --> 00:00:07,121
- "Senior sex-ed thank you notes."
- Oh, don't open that.
4
00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:08,139
There's pictures in there.
5
00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:09,607
Oh! There are pictures.
6
00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:11,042
There are lots of pictures.
7
00:00:11,326 --> 00:00:14,829
Why would you not throw these
away or incinerate them?
8
00:00:14,863 --> 00:00:16,763
Because every memory deserves
to be chronicled.
9
00:00:16,781 --> 00:00:18,165
Even the saggy ones.
10
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,451
I am putting together
a scrapbook commemorating
11
00:00:20,485 --> 00:00:22,069
my first year
on the city council.
12
00:00:22,087 --> 00:00:23,504
This year whizzed by so fast.
13
00:00:23,538 --> 00:00:25,439
There was so much
more I wanted to do.
14
00:00:25,473 --> 00:00:27,925
But time is the relentless
and cruel enemy
15
00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:30,244
of the devoted civil servant.
16
00:00:30,278 --> 00:00:34,665
It's actually one of
the sub-titles of my scrapbook.
17
00:00:34,699 --> 00:00:36,016
Probably would've got
more stuff done
18
00:00:36,051 --> 00:00:37,117
if I hadn't spent
so much time
19
00:00:37,152 --> 00:00:38,886
brainstorming scrapbook titles.
20
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,587
Ben and Leslie's day off.
21
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,689
Let's go relax.
22
00:00:41,723 --> 00:00:43,591
I cannot wait for our day off.
23
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:46,310
But what if we took
a day on
24
00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:48,729
and stayed here
and worked on some projects?
25
00:00:48,763 --> 00:00:50,548
- That sounds pretty sexy, right?
- No.
26
00:00:50,599 --> 00:00:54,001
Leslie, you've worked nonstop.
Holidays and weekends.
27
00:00:54,035 --> 00:00:55,569
You're just gonna take
a day off.
28
00:00:55,604 --> 00:00:58,122
- It'll be good for you.
- All right. You're cute.
29
00:00:58,156 --> 00:00:59,156
- And you're right.
- Come on.
30
00:00:59,174 --> 00:01:00,140
- Let's relax.
- All right.
31
00:01:00,175 --> 00:01:01,642
Hey, April.
32
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:04,078
I'll be gone for
the next 19 1/2 hours,
33
00:01:04,112 --> 00:01:06,013
so can you water my plants
in my office?
34
00:01:06,047 --> 00:01:07,814
We are all out of water,
actually.
35
00:01:07,832 --> 00:01:09,300
I'll have to use
boiling hot milk.
36
00:01:09,351 --> 00:01:10,851
- Are you really gonna do that?
- Yes.
37
00:01:10,886 --> 00:01:14,405
Well, everybody.
Um, wow.
38
00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:17,391
It has been an honor
and a pleasure
39
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:18,559
to work with you all.
40
00:01:18,593 --> 00:01:20,294
The time I have spent
at Parks and Rec
41
00:01:20,328 --> 00:01:21,862
have been the happiest days
42
00:01:21,897 --> 00:01:23,581
of my life here
in the government.
43
00:01:23,615 --> 00:01:26,283
And I know everyone says it,
but I sincerely hope
44
00:01:26,318 --> 00:01:29,270
that we stay in touch.
45
00:01:31,272 --> 00:01:32,723
What the [Bleep]
is happening right now?
46
00:01:32,757 --> 00:01:35,142
Today's my last day, Leslie.
47
00:01:35,176 --> 00:01:36,093
I'm retiring.
48
00:01:36,144 --> 00:01:38,045
What?
Why didn't you tell us?
49
00:01:38,079 --> 00:01:39,913
Well, I didn't want to make
a big fuss.
50
00:01:39,931 --> 00:01:42,866
Although, gosh, I'm pretty sure
I mentioned it a few times.
51
00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:44,785
Oh, God, they're gonna
fire people, aren't they?
52
00:01:44,803 --> 00:01:46,537
Yeah, I am two years
from my pension.
53
00:01:46,571 --> 00:01:47,605
Can you believe it?
54
00:01:47,639 --> 00:01:49,990
Only six months left
until I retire.
55
00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:50,908
Ooh.
56
00:01:50,942 --> 00:01:52,643
What did Jerry say?
57
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:53,794
Jerry was here?
58
00:01:53,828 --> 00:01:56,513
Well, this is my last weep.
Oops.
59
00:01:56,548 --> 00:01:58,949
I mean, "weep."
Week.
60
00:02:00,902 --> 00:02:02,219
Jeez.
61
00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:03,871
Wait, wait, wait.
62
00:02:03,905 --> 00:02:05,806
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Just wait.
63
00:02:05,824 --> 00:02:07,107
Everybody wait. Okay.
64
00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:08,175
As much as we want this
to happen,
65
00:02:08,209 --> 00:02:09,560
we can't let Jerry
just disappear.
66
00:02:09,594 --> 00:02:11,812
We have to commemorate
this somehow.
67
00:02:11,846 --> 00:02:13,247
You're right.
68
00:02:13,281 --> 00:02:15,282
Jerry, thank you
for your service.
69
00:02:15,817 --> 00:02:17,184
Good-bye.
70
00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:20,237
Thanks, Ron.
That speech means a lot.
71
00:02:20,272 --> 00:02:22,723
Okay, well, I am going to go
and say good-bye
72
00:02:22,757 --> 00:02:25,559
to some other folks.
73
00:02:25,594 --> 00:02:26,754
Okay, see you tomorrow,
Jerry.
74
00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:34,721
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
75
00:02:47,482 --> 00:02:51,652
So we ran all your tests,
and everything looks great.
76
00:02:51,686 --> 00:02:55,039
You might be the healthiest
human being we've ever seen.
77
00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:57,641
You have the resting heart rate
of a 100-year-old tortoise.
78
00:02:57,676 --> 00:02:58,842
Yes, I get that a lot.
79
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,611
So my childhood illness--
80
00:03:00,645 --> 00:03:02,012
there's no chance
I would pass that on?
81
00:03:02,047 --> 00:03:04,732
It wasn't genetic,
so you shouldn't worry at all.
82
00:03:04,766 --> 00:03:07,635
You have every reason
to expect a healthy child.
83
00:03:07,669 --> 00:03:10,004
In fact, if you'd like, you
can provide your sample today.
84
00:03:10,038 --> 00:03:11,889
Today?
85
00:03:11,923 --> 00:03:13,240
Like, today, today?
86
00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:14,558
- This today?
- Well, yes.
87
00:03:14,592 --> 00:03:15,726
I mean, the timing is right
88
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:16,994
according
to Ann's ovulation schedule.
89
00:03:17,028 --> 00:03:18,462
Unless there's a reason
90
00:03:18,496 --> 00:03:19,713
you'd like to wait
till next month.
91
00:03:21,232 --> 00:03:22,666
No.
92
00:03:22,717 --> 00:03:23,967
None.
93
00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:25,202
One other question.
94
00:03:25,236 --> 00:03:26,420
Completely off topic.
95
00:03:26,454 --> 00:03:30,441
Would I be providing
this sample... today?
96
00:03:30,475 --> 00:03:32,993
Here I am thinking about
how fast
97
00:03:33,011 --> 00:03:35,095
my first year in city council
has gone,
98
00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:37,998
and Jerry has had 40 years
whiz past him
99
00:03:38,016 --> 00:03:39,299
with nothing to show for it.
100
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:40,951
This is everything
in his file--
101
00:03:40,985 --> 00:03:43,253
a handicapped parking sticker
from when he got gout,
102
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:45,539
a Parks and Rec golf cart
driving exam
103
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,107
which he failed,
104
00:03:47,142 --> 00:03:49,026
a scathing performance review.
105
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,111
I mean, why would
anyone be so mean?
106
00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:52,830
Oh, wait. I wrote this.
107
00:03:52,864 --> 00:03:54,181
I stand by it.
108
00:03:54,215 --> 00:03:55,655
Well, Jerry was never really
the type
109
00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:59,370
to rise above mediocrity
or to it.
110
00:03:59,421 --> 00:04:00,888
That's what I thought,
but when he started,
111
00:04:00,922 --> 00:04:02,723
he had a lot of dreams
and goals.
112
00:04:02,757 --> 00:04:05,142
I mean, look at
his original entry paperwork.
113
00:04:05,176 --> 00:04:06,744
He wanted to meet the mayor,
114
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:09,129
have a building
named after him.
115
00:04:09,164 --> 00:04:10,464
I just can't let Jerry
leave here with nothing
116
00:04:10,482 --> 00:04:11,932
and go home to an empty life.
117
00:04:11,966 --> 00:04:13,283
Well, I'll help with anything.
118
00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:14,768
Just promise
we'll do it quickly.
119
00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:16,837
I'm making us
a mac and cheese pizza for--
120
00:04:16,871 --> 00:04:18,455
- Mac and cheese pizza?
- Yeah.
121
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:19,540
- You're making that?
- Yeah.
122
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:25,412
Torturing Jerry was my
favorite thing in the world.
123
00:04:25,447 --> 00:04:27,047
After making out with you.
124
00:04:27,082 --> 00:04:29,349
Remember when we did both
at the same time?
125
00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:31,218
It made him
so uncomfortable.
126
00:04:32,654 --> 00:04:33,771
This is a sad day.
127
00:04:33,805 --> 00:04:34,822
Who are we gonna
make fun of now?
128
00:04:34,856 --> 00:04:35,756
No need to worry.
129
00:04:35,790 --> 00:04:37,257
Every place I've ever worked in
130
00:04:37,292 --> 00:04:38,242
has had a "Jerry."
131
00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:39,276
When one Jerry leaves,
132
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,662
the office naturally selects
133
00:04:41,696 --> 00:04:43,180
a new Jerry to fill that role.
134
00:04:43,231 --> 00:04:44,581
It's Social Darwinism.
135
00:04:44,616 --> 00:04:46,016
The strong prey
on the weak.
136
00:04:46,050 --> 00:04:50,070
Soon, one of you will be
ridiculed mercilessly.
137
00:04:50,105 --> 00:04:51,839
Ah, nature.
138
00:04:54,542 --> 00:04:56,310
Okay.
My transfer was approved.
139
00:04:56,344 --> 00:04:58,178
So starting now,
I am an employee
140
00:04:58,213 --> 00:04:59,246
of the County Health Board.
141
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,547
You are no longer my boss,
142
00:05:00,581 --> 00:05:01,632
and we can have a baby
143
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:02,733
without being a conflict
of interest.
144
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:03,984
Clear sailing.
145
00:05:04,002 --> 00:05:06,103
Goodbye, Ann Perkins,
my excellent employee.
146
00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:08,555
Hello, Ann Perkins,
my fallopian princess.
147
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:10,641
So here's the drill.
148
00:05:10,675 --> 00:05:11,792
Make a deposit in here.
149
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:12,776
If you fill it
up all the way,
150
00:05:12,811 --> 00:05:14,294
you get on the board.
151
00:05:14,329 --> 00:05:16,930
Then we take the sample,
spin it in the centrifuge,
152
00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:18,582
and prepare it
for fertilization.
153
00:05:18,616 --> 00:05:20,467
Sounds romantic.
154
00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:21,885
I guess it's go time.
155
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,554
Go time!
156
00:05:23,588 --> 00:05:25,456
Wait, what am I doing?
I don't go with you.
157
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:26,757
Oh, no, no.
I go in alone
158
00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:29,510
with this pornographic disc
and do it myself.
159
00:05:29,544 --> 00:05:30,844
And you stay out here
160
00:05:30,878 --> 00:05:31,912
and try not to think about
what I'm doing in there.
161
00:05:31,946 --> 00:05:32,830
And I try not to think
162
00:05:32,864 --> 00:05:33,997
about you waiting out here
163
00:05:34,048 --> 00:05:35,048
trying not to think about me.
164
00:05:35,082 --> 00:05:37,184
Should I think about you?
165
00:05:37,218 --> 00:05:38,802
This is so weird.
166
00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:40,521
Chris, we don't have
to do this today.
167
00:05:40,555 --> 00:05:42,456
This was totally
just sprung on us.
168
00:05:42,490 --> 00:05:44,808
Let's just take a moment.
169
00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,161
There's so many pamphlets
to look at.
170
00:05:47,195 --> 00:05:48,262
Yes, we do have
171
00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:50,798
very important
pamphlet reading to do.
172
00:05:50,832 --> 00:05:53,100
Excellent idea, Ann Perkins.
173
00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:54,852
Do I keep this?
174
00:05:54,886 --> 00:05:57,154
I don't know.
It feels wrong to leave it here.
175
00:05:57,188 --> 00:06:00,340
Give it to me.
176
00:06:00,375 --> 00:06:03,260
I panicked. Run!
177
00:06:04,996 --> 00:06:10,751
Here are the last
of the Animal Control reports.
178
00:06:10,785 --> 00:06:12,152
What are you doing, weirdo?
179
00:06:12,187 --> 00:06:15,088
Just trying not
to spill anything.
180
00:06:15,123 --> 00:06:17,207
I believe Leslie said
to organize these by year.
181
00:06:17,242 --> 00:06:18,525
Way ahead of you.
182
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:20,177
I made two pile files.
183
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:25,165
Pilo fibles. Ugh.
Filo pilos.
184
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,917
Filo pilos?
That's not right.
185
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:29,503
- Are you broken?
- No, everything's fine.
186
00:06:29,537 --> 00:06:32,506
Well, I guess that settles
who the new Jerry is.
187
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,625
No, it doesn't!
I barely even said it wrong.
188
00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:36,243
- Said it wrong.
- Stop it!
189
00:06:37,629 --> 00:06:40,413
This is how it begins.
190
00:06:40,431 --> 00:06:41,932
The next "Jerry."
191
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,434
One screwed-up sentence,
and 30 years later,
192
00:06:44,469 --> 00:06:46,019
I'm wearing
aquamarine sweater vests
193
00:06:46,054 --> 00:06:47,971
and listening to
Bonnie Raitt
194
00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:49,473
and The da Vinci Code
on my iPod.
195
00:06:54,195 --> 00:06:55,529
It's already started.
196
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:59,064
Believe it or not, Jerry,
you were young once.
197
00:06:59,065 --> 00:07:00,451
Young and full of dreams.
198
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,651
I forgot I wrote all this.
199
00:07:02,686 --> 00:07:05,054
And as unrealistic
and absurd as those goals were,
200
00:07:05,088 --> 00:07:07,640
we are not letting you retire
until we help you achieve them.
201
00:07:08,574 --> 00:07:10,492
So let's see what's first.
202
00:07:10,527 --> 00:07:12,328
"Eat in city council
private dining room."
203
00:07:12,379 --> 00:07:13,512
That we can achieve.
204
00:07:13,546 --> 00:07:14,463
Right now?
205
00:07:14,497 --> 00:07:15,698
Sure. Let's go.
206
00:07:15,732 --> 00:07:17,299
Authorized personnel only.
207
00:07:17,334 --> 00:07:18,667
Oh, they're with me.
208
00:07:18,718 --> 00:07:21,921
City Councilor Leslie Knope,
clearance level four.
209
00:07:21,955 --> 00:07:23,806
Guests are only allowed
on Wednesdays.
210
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,874
And we don't have
clearance levels.
211
00:07:25,909 --> 00:07:27,076
I know, but shouldn't we?
212
00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:28,427
I mean, it sounds so cool.
213
00:07:28,461 --> 00:07:30,613
Anyway, we just need to get
in there real quick
214
00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:31,931
and maybe take a picture.
215
00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:33,716
He's retiring
as a city hall employee
216
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:35,384
after 41 years,
217
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:37,102
and it was his dream
to eat here.
218
00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:39,154
His dream? Really?
219
00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:40,973
- Still no.
- It's okay, Leslie. Come on.
220
00:07:41,007 --> 00:07:42,091
But thank you.
Thank you for trying.
221
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:43,475
No, no, no, no, no.
I promised you
222
00:07:43,509 --> 00:07:45,494
an executive meal
and you're gonna get one.
223
00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:47,696
Ben, just--okay.
224
00:07:47,731 --> 00:07:49,715
I'm gonna go in there
and take a picture with Jerry.
225
00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:51,233
I put my arm around nothing.
226
00:07:51,268 --> 00:07:54,703
And then you Photoshop him
in later, okay?
227
00:07:57,056 --> 00:07:58,941
Congratulations
on your retirement.
228
00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:01,393
Aw, thank you.
229
00:08:01,678 --> 00:08:04,796
One, three, seven, two, five,
nine.
230
00:08:04,831 --> 00:08:05,964
Pffft!
231
00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:07,900
Sudoku is easy.
232
00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,868
Is there even rules
to this game?
233
00:08:09,903 --> 00:08:12,654
There's a natural successor
to Jerry's sad, smelly crown.
234
00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:15,624
And it's not me.
It's Andy.
235
00:08:15,658 --> 00:08:17,042
Big guy? Check.
236
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:18,860
Goofy? Check.
237
00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:21,039
All I have to do is wait
for a textbook Dwyer screw-up,
238
00:08:21,064 --> 00:08:23,899
which usually happens, mm,
every 20 minutes.
239
00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:26,235
Hey, if it isn't Filo Pilo.
240
00:08:26,269 --> 00:08:27,502
Oh, real creative, Donna.
241
00:08:27,537 --> 00:08:28,954
You expect that to catch on?
242
00:08:28,988 --> 00:08:30,422
Babe, the pen.
243
00:08:31,724 --> 00:08:33,859
Look at Andy.
There's ink all over him.
244
00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:34,860
Andy's the new Jerry.
245
00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:36,161
Game over.
246
00:08:36,195 --> 00:08:37,195
Awesome.
247
00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:38,397
Hey, I'm like a giant squid.
248
00:08:38,431 --> 00:08:41,066
- Hey, honey, I'm ink Dracula.
- No, stop.
249
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,768
Squid Dracula
is going to get you.
250
00:08:45,154 --> 00:08:46,688
Barking up the wrong tree,
Filo.
251
00:08:46,723 --> 00:08:47,823
What do you mean?
252
00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:49,541
Andy will never
be the new Jerry.
253
00:08:49,576 --> 00:08:50,842
Nothing embarrasses him.
254
00:08:50,877 --> 00:08:52,694
He's like a giant puppy
with no shame.
255
00:08:52,728 --> 00:08:55,731
What you need is some fresh meat
in the office.
256
00:08:55,765 --> 00:08:57,132
Or you guys could just stop
making fun of me.
257
00:08:57,166 --> 00:09:00,185
Yeah. No.
258
00:09:00,236 --> 00:09:02,771
Okay,
on to the next Jerry goal--
259
00:09:02,805 --> 00:09:04,556
meet Mayor Knudson.
260
00:09:04,591 --> 00:09:07,476
Oh, yeah.
He was the mayor at the time.
261
00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:09,411
I've always wanted
to meet him.
262
00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:11,763
Well, today you're getting
that chance.
263
00:09:12,798 --> 00:09:13,849
So was he like
264
00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:16,468
- a really great mayor?
- No, not really.
265
00:09:16,502 --> 00:09:18,654
He resigned because of
corruption and racketeering,
266
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,706
and then he died
from an overdose of pills.
267
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:22,190
But actually his real
cause of death
268
00:09:22,225 --> 00:09:24,242
was being thrown out of
a helicopter while handcuffed.
269
00:09:24,277 --> 00:09:25,961
Some people say
he's still alive
270
00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:27,479
because they never found
the body,
271
00:09:27,513 --> 00:09:30,515
but they never found the body
because he exploded on impact.
272
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,117
- Sounds like a good dude.
- Yeah.
273
00:09:32,151 --> 00:09:34,036
I just wish I had a chance
to meet him,
274
00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:37,973
you know, years ago before all
the scandals and his death.
275
00:09:38,007 --> 00:09:39,458
But this is nice too.
276
00:09:39,509 --> 00:09:40,392
- Yeah.
- Is it?
277
00:09:40,426 --> 00:09:41,593
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:09:41,628 --> 00:09:42,527
It is.
279
00:09:42,562 --> 00:09:43,578
Okay, go over there.
280
00:09:43,596 --> 00:09:45,430
Let's meet Mayor Knudson.
281
00:09:45,465 --> 00:09:46,565
I'll take your picture.
282
00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:48,450
Butterflies.
283
00:09:48,484 --> 00:09:50,352
Hello, Mr. Mayor.
284
00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:51,503
First of all, I'm so sorry
285
00:09:51,537 --> 00:09:52,904
that those Serbian mobsters
shoved you
286
00:09:52,939 --> 00:09:53,905
out of that helicopter.
287
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,240
You deserve better.
288
00:09:55,274 --> 00:09:57,309
Okay, you tried,
but I took a day off
289
00:09:57,343 --> 00:09:59,461
to spend with you,
not with you and Jerry
290
00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:01,146
and a dead mayor.
291
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,648
Can we please
just call it a day?
292
00:10:02,682 --> 00:10:04,666
No, we can't because
in a few short years,
293
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,151
we're gonna be visiting
Jerry here,
294
00:10:06,185 --> 00:10:07,506
and he will have achieved
nothing.
295
00:10:07,537 --> 00:10:08,470
Is that what you want?
296
00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:10,472
- No.
- Okay, then.
297
00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,124
It's really been nice
to meet you.
298
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:13,708
- Okay, Jerry, let's go.
- Ooh.
299
00:10:13,726 --> 00:10:15,961
Ronfire of the vanities.
300
00:10:15,995 --> 00:10:17,346
Filo Pilo.
301
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:18,347
Are you kidding me?
302
00:10:18,381 --> 00:10:20,465
Listen, now that Jerry's gone,
303
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,817
we need to hire someone
to pick up the slack.
304
00:10:21,851 --> 00:10:23,485
A new person in the office?
305
00:10:23,503 --> 00:10:25,604
Not a person.
An intern.
306
00:10:25,638 --> 00:10:27,856
Why on earth
would I get an intern?
307
00:10:27,890 --> 00:10:30,726
Interns cost nothing
to the taxpayer.
308
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,044
And more importantly,
309
00:10:32,095 --> 00:10:33,345
they're usually
stupid and terrible.
310
00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:34,596
So they get no work done.
311
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:35,864
It's like a Jerry
you don't have to pay.
312
00:10:35,898 --> 00:10:38,583
Damn, son.
That is one compelling argument.
313
00:10:38,618 --> 00:10:39,918
Keep it up, Filo.
314
00:10:39,952 --> 00:10:43,689
We may destroy this government
one day after all.
315
00:10:44,423 --> 00:10:46,875
These pamphlets
are fascinating.
316
00:10:46,909 --> 00:10:49,277
It says here that some men
gain "sympathy weight"
317
00:10:49,312 --> 00:10:50,495
when their partners
get pregnant.
318
00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:52,397
If that happens to me,
I'd be miserable.
319
00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:53,432
But happy.
320
00:10:53,483 --> 00:10:54,399
But sad.
321
00:10:54,434 --> 00:10:56,218
I would have never imagined
322
00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:59,671
the baby-making process
to be this clinical.
323
00:10:59,706 --> 00:11:01,673
I mean, imagine if actual sex
were like this.
324
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:03,191
Let me remove my clothes
325
00:11:03,226 --> 00:11:05,510
so we may begin to engage
in physical activity
326
00:11:05,545 --> 00:11:08,280
to multiply our genes.
327
00:11:08,314 --> 00:11:10,865
And it's also weird
because we dated
328
00:11:10,883 --> 00:11:13,585
and we remember what it's like
to engage in some of those
329
00:11:13,619 --> 00:11:15,470
- physical activities.
- Exactly.
330
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:20,559
And we were also pretty good
at those physical activities.
331
00:11:20,593 --> 00:11:22,561
Yes, we were.
332
00:11:22,595 --> 00:11:24,479
Yes, we were.
333
00:11:29,318 --> 00:11:31,453
You know,
is this all the pamphlets?
334
00:11:31,487 --> 00:11:32,487
'Cause I think that maybe
335
00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:36,408
I have some left
in my bedroom.
336
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:37,576
Oh, well, then,
337
00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:39,130
we should definitely
go look for those.
338
00:11:39,162 --> 00:11:40,512
- Let's find those.
- We need to find those.
339
00:11:40,546 --> 00:11:42,431
Hurry.
340
00:11:46,835 --> 00:11:48,637
Okay, everyone gather around.
341
00:11:48,671 --> 00:11:49,855
Leslie,
I really appreciate this,
342
00:11:49,889 --> 00:11:51,857
but I did promise Gayle
I would leave by 5:00.
343
00:11:51,908 --> 00:11:55,343
She has a tasty surprise
waiting for me,
344
00:11:55,378 --> 00:11:56,845
if you know what I mean.
345
00:11:56,879 --> 00:11:58,163
Gross, Jerry.
346
00:11:58,197 --> 00:11:59,514
She made a meatloaf.
347
00:11:59,549 --> 00:12:00,749
Well, this is better
than meatloaf.
348
00:12:00,783 --> 00:12:02,263
When Jerry first applied
for this job,
349
00:12:02,268 --> 00:12:05,120
one of this goals was to have
a building named after him.
350
00:12:05,154 --> 00:12:06,271
Again,
that is an absurd request
351
00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:07,706
considering your work record.
352
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,875
But I thought
maybe he could have a room
353
00:12:09,926 --> 00:12:11,143
named after him.
354
00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:14,379
So henceforth,
Parks and Rec conference room
355
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,998
will serve as a testament
356
00:12:17,016 --> 00:12:18,984
to your years
of public service.
357
00:12:19,018 --> 00:12:21,586
- Oh, my God.
- Hear, hear.
358
00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:24,055
"Jerry Gergich Memorial
Conference Room.
359
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:26,208
R.I.P."?
360
00:12:26,242 --> 00:12:29,027
Oh, the guy at the plaque
store thought you had died.
361
00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:31,429
It was a rush job, so we
didn't have time to change it.
362
00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:32,647
It doesn't matter.
363
00:12:32,682 --> 00:12:34,299
We can just pretend it means
retire in peace.
364
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,534
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
365
00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:37,769
- So bring out the cake!
- Oh.
366
00:12:37,804 --> 00:12:40,255
Speech, speech, speech.
367
00:12:40,289 --> 00:12:41,907
Well, thank you, guys.
368
00:12:41,941 --> 00:12:43,408
I'm not much of a speechmaker,
369
00:12:43,442 --> 00:12:45,894
but I do like good cake.
Delicious.
370
00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:48,396
Uh, you're on fire.
371
00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:50,582
Oh!
372
00:12:50,616 --> 00:12:51,783
Oh, my God, Jerry!
373
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:52,751
Whoa.
374
00:13:02,111 --> 00:13:07,449
Well, that went roughly
as well as I thought it would.
375
00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:09,184
I promised Gayle
I'd leave at 5:00.
376
00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:10,535
I guess this is it.
377
00:13:12,371 --> 00:13:13,622
Bye.
378
00:13:14,156 --> 00:13:15,957
See you tomorrow, Jeremy.
379
00:13:15,992 --> 00:13:19,527
Well, pretty heroic,
huh, guys?
380
00:13:19,545 --> 00:13:20,962
Hard to make fun of that.
381
00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:22,664
Oh, man, the cake.
382
00:13:22,698 --> 00:13:24,916
Filo Pilo ruined the cake.
383
00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:26,034
Classic Pilo.
384
00:13:26,052 --> 00:13:27,869
What
how is that my fault?
385
00:13:27,887 --> 00:13:30,205
Stupid Jerry. Should have
never saved his life.
386
00:13:35,046 --> 00:13:35,763
Hey, Jerry.
387
00:13:35,764 --> 00:13:36,314
Do you have a second?
388
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:38,416
Leslie. Well,
this is a lovely surprise.
389
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,001
Come on in.
Have breakfast with the family.
390
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,953
That's okay.
I just popped by to apologize
391
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,027
and to give you something.
392
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:44,806
- Is that Leslie Knope?
- Yes.
393
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,157
Oh, hi, Gayle.
394
00:13:46,191 --> 00:13:47,241
What a surprise.
395
00:13:47,276 --> 00:13:49,827
I insist you join us
for breakfast.
396
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:53,514
This guy is the greatest
breakfast chef in the world.
397
00:13:53,549 --> 00:13:55,600
You know, I'm not really
into breakfast foods.
398
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,752
Really? Your purse
is shaped like a waffle.
399
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,320
- Is it?
- Please join us.
400
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:01,806
The Gergiches don't take no
for an answer.
401
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,225
- Mm-mm.
- Ugh, okay.
402
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:05,710
Come on in.
403
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:08,396
Girls, we've got company.
404
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:14,785
So, you want
to get out of here?
405
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,671
Work just started,
Ms. Meagle.
406
00:14:16,705 --> 00:14:18,422
Yeah, but our work
is just beginning.
407
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:19,557
You know what I'm saying?
408
00:14:19,591 --> 00:14:21,309
Oh, Donna,
who's the new boy toy?
409
00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:22,610
I'm Taylor,
the new intern.
410
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,729
This is the new intern?
Are you kidding me?
411
00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:26,497
Yeah, he went to high school
with my sister, Natalie.
412
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,883
He was a big deal
on the football team.
413
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:32,119
Oh, meathead jock type,
huh?
414
00:14:32,154 --> 00:14:33,704
Actually, I quit football
senior year
415
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,723
so I could help my pastor
run a homeless shelter.
416
00:14:35,757 --> 00:14:36,857
Oh.
Pfftt!
417
00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:37,909
This guy loves the homeless
so much,
418
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,010
he should marry them, right?
419
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,778
Anybody would be lucky
to marry him.
420
00:14:40,812 --> 00:14:42,914
Hey, Taylor, do you want
to marry me and April?
421
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,032
Wish I could, man,
but I'm not a "marriage" dude.
422
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:46,267
I've got a lot of love
to give,
423
00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:48,185
and it just seems unfair
to put boundaries on it.
424
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,537
He gets it.
425
00:14:49,571 --> 00:14:51,372
You so get it.
426
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,093
Oh, hey.
427
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:59,463
Hi. Should I keep walking
towards you?
428
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:02,700
Yeah, I could stop,
and you could walk.
429
00:15:02,751 --> 00:15:06,537
Or you know what,
we could meet in the middle.
430
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:08,322
Great plan.
431
00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:12,660
- Hello.
- Hi.
432
00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:20,134
- Welp.
- Okay.
433
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,826
Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
434
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:30,127
No.
435
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,729
Ron, I'm the new Jerry.
436
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:34,215
Well, is whining going to do
anything about it?
437
00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:36,000
You don't want to be
a whipping boy.
438
00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:37,702
Stand up for yourself.
439
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:38,857
You don't understand, Ron.
440
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:40,504
I already was Jerry.
441
00:15:40,555 --> 00:15:42,440
I was a skinny Indian kid
in South Carolina,
442
00:15:42,491 --> 00:15:43,658
and it sucked.
443
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,360
It took me 12 years,
but I reinvented myself.
444
00:15:46,395 --> 00:15:48,346
I'm a business owner.
I wear dope suits.
445
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,547
I have fur underwear.
446
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,582
It was all for nothing.
447
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:53,601
I'm back to being a Jerry.
448
00:15:54,135 --> 00:15:55,052
All right.
449
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,338
I gotta buy some sweat pants
and a Nicholas Sparks novel.
450
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,206
Might as well lean into it.
451
00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:03,294
Tom can take care of himself.
He's a grown man.
452
00:16:03,328 --> 00:16:04,328
Well, half-grown.
453
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:05,646
He does have a business
454
00:16:05,681 --> 00:16:08,015
where he rents out his clothes
to 12-year-olds.
455
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,785
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast
456
00:16:10,819 --> 00:16:13,954
♪ eggs, bacon, and toast
457
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,740
♪ why don't you start
your day ♪
458
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:20,244
♪ the Gergich way with eggs,
bacon, and-- ♪
459
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:24,348
Oh, me?
♪ t-toast
460
00:16:24,399 --> 00:16:27,601
♪ eggs, bacon, and toast
461
00:16:27,636 --> 00:16:30,071
♪ eggs, bacon, and toast
462
00:16:30,105 --> 00:16:31,956
♪ why don't you start
your day ♪
463
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:33,624
♪ the Gergich way with
464
00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:35,960
♪ eggs, bacon, and--
♪ Toast
465
00:16:38,579 --> 00:16:39,363
Very good.
466
00:16:39,414 --> 00:16:41,382
We sing that every morning.
467
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:42,566
But it's an extra treat
468
00:16:42,617 --> 00:16:43,718
because you're here
to sing it with us.
469
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,252
Thanks, guys.
470
00:16:45,287 --> 00:16:46,604
Jerry, I wanted your last day
471
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,422
at work to be special,
and I feel like I let you down.
472
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:49,940
No!
473
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:53,711
So I made you this scrapbook
with nearly 4 amazing pages
474
00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:55,146
jam-packed with memories
475
00:16:55,197 --> 00:16:56,480
of your time in the government.
476
00:16:56,531 --> 00:16:57,998
Oh, my go--
477
00:16:58,032 --> 00:16:59,383
well, look.
478
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:00,751
Oh, honey.
479
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:04,321
You look great
in every one of these.
480
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,474
You are still
the most handsome man
481
00:17:07,492 --> 00:17:09,043
in the world to me.
482
00:17:09,077 --> 00:17:10,227
Ugh.
483
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:11,896
Mom, come on.
484
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,581
Yeah, jeez, mom.
We're eating.
485
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:16,150
You know, it doesn't
make any sense.
486
00:17:16,184 --> 00:17:19,570
Leslie,
that is really sweet of you,
487
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,539
but you don't
have to worry about me.
488
00:17:21,590 --> 00:17:22,690
I'm great.
489
00:17:22,724 --> 00:17:24,492
Here.
I want to show you something.
490
00:17:24,526 --> 00:17:25,910
Okay.
491
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,895
No!
492
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:30,214
You also dropped that,
clumsy.
493
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:35,002
Where am I?
494
00:17:35,536 --> 00:17:37,905
I know I didn't achieve
all my work goals,
495
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,256
but, Leslie, I don't care
496
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:40,925
because for me,
the best part
497
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,109
about working
in the Parks department
498
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,211
was that I got to be home
every night
499
00:17:44,245 --> 00:17:46,097
with my family at 5:00.
500
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:49,717
And to me,
that's what mattered most.
501
00:17:49,751 --> 00:17:51,251
Little Sebastian...
Oh, wow.
502
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:52,920
Jerry.
503
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:55,389
Thank you for sharing this
with me.
504
00:17:55,423 --> 00:17:57,308
I--
505
00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,259
You have a wonderful life.
506
00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:01,779
Mmhmm.
Aw.
507
00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:02,897
Group hug.
508
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:04,865
Uhoh, here they are.
509
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,450
The hug machine is here.
510
00:18:07,652 --> 00:18:09,653
The hug machine--
511
00:18:09,704 --> 00:18:12,239
it's firing on all cylinders.
512
00:18:14,068 --> 00:18:17,319
Okay, I think we should be adults
and talk about this.
513
00:18:17,368 --> 00:18:18,352
I would love to.
514
00:18:18,353 --> 00:18:20,353
I was nervous after yesterday
515
00:18:20,387 --> 00:18:22,272
because I was thinking
what does this mean for us?
516
00:18:22,323 --> 00:18:24,024
Not as parents,
but as Chris and Ann?
517
00:18:24,308 --> 00:18:26,276
I don't think on-again,
off-again
518
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,827
is a great parental model.
519
00:18:27,862 --> 00:18:29,162
Well, I completely agree.
520
00:18:29,196 --> 00:18:32,032
But if there is
a hypothetical chance
521
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,284
that we could provide a home
with two parents
522
00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:36,286
who are hypothetically
together,
523
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,922
then that could be even better
hypothetically.
524
00:18:38,956 --> 00:18:41,824
Of course.
We should discuss and consider
525
00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:43,626
all the possibilities.
526
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,678
The most important thing for me
and I think for you
527
00:18:46,213 --> 00:18:47,663
is that we have a child.
528
00:18:47,921 --> 00:18:52,685
And I don't want to do anything
to jeopardize that.
529
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,104
Do you want to make out?
530
00:18:54,138 --> 00:18:56,689
I really do.
531
00:18:57,424 --> 00:18:58,942
Hey.
532
00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:00,176
What are you doing here,
Jerry?
533
00:19:00,177 --> 00:19:01,511
I thought you were fired.
534
00:19:01,529 --> 00:19:03,530
I wasn't fired.
I retired.
535
00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:04,948
That's what they all say.
536
00:19:04,982 --> 00:19:06,449
I asked Jerry to come in.
537
00:19:06,484 --> 00:19:09,536
That new intern wasn't working
out, so I got rid of him.
538
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:13,189
Once again, I object in
the strongest possible terms.
539
00:19:13,207 --> 00:19:14,958
Once again, noted.
540
00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:18,211
I have also asked Jerry to come
in a couple hours a week
541
00:19:18,245 --> 00:19:20,497
until we find
a permanent replacement.
542
00:19:20,531 --> 00:19:21,998
Ugh, just when
we were rid of him?
543
00:19:22,032 --> 00:19:23,166
Yeah, I don't know, Ron.
544
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,334
Are you hearing me, son?
545
00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:26,803
Jerry will come in
once a week,
546
00:19:26,837 --> 00:19:28,704
and everyone will get
to watch him eat
547
00:19:28,722 --> 00:19:32,675
and talk to him about anything
he might do or say or fart.
548
00:19:33,509 --> 00:19:35,478
- Welcome back, Jerry.
- Thank you.
549
00:19:35,513 --> 00:19:37,931
Oh, it feels good
just to be ba--
550
00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:42,152
Classic new guy.
551
00:19:42,186 --> 00:19:44,887
I'm sorry that I spent
your day off with Jerry
552
00:19:44,905 --> 00:19:46,823
- instead of relaxing with you.
- It's all right.
553
00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:49,025
And after you fell asleep
making Jerry's scrapbook,
554
00:19:49,059 --> 00:19:51,277
I went back to season
one of Fringe
555
00:19:51,328 --> 00:19:52,662
to check for plot holes.
556
00:19:52,696 --> 00:19:55,898
As I suspected--airtight.
557
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:57,900
I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
558
00:19:57,918 --> 00:19:59,669
I love my job.
559
00:19:59,703 --> 00:20:02,272
But in the blink of an eye,
I'm gonna be retiring,
560
00:20:02,306 --> 00:20:05,024
you know, and flying off
on Marine One
561
00:20:05,075 --> 00:20:07,861
with you
and a Secret Service detail.
562
00:20:07,912 --> 00:20:09,112
Achievements are great,
563
00:20:09,146 --> 00:20:11,414
but I want more than that.
564
00:20:11,449 --> 00:20:14,667
I want what Jerry has.
565
00:20:14,702 --> 00:20:17,086
I mean,
we're always gonna work,
566
00:20:17,121 --> 00:20:20,173
but I think we need to fill
this scrapbook too.
567
00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:22,041
Maybe we should take
a real day off
568
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:25,044
and talk about starting
our family.
569
00:20:25,095 --> 00:20:27,630
Yeah.
That sounds perfect.
570
00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:30,467
Hey, while you were
over at Jerry's,
571
00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:32,051
did you happen to get
any information
572
00:20:32,102 --> 00:20:33,470
about his history with Gayle?
573
00:20:33,504 --> 00:20:35,355
Like, was she a Russian spy
574
00:20:35,389 --> 00:20:38,107
and the KGB forced her
to marry Jerry as a cover?
575
00:20:38,142 --> 00:20:40,226
You know, it's a mystery, Ben.
Let it go.
576
00:20:40,277 --> 00:20:42,195
Yeah, I can't.
It keeps me awake at night.
577
00:20:42,229 --> 00:20:43,796
Hey, maybe Gayle
has one of those
578
00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:46,682
Oliver Sacks
brain disorder thingies?
579
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,185
Like, does she think Jerry
is a friendly hat?
580
00:20:49,203 --> 00:20:51,337
I think you solved it.
581
00:20:51,338 --> 00:20:55,937
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com