1
00:00:00,631 --> 00:00:02,487
Hey. I didn't find the
article about you teaching
2
00:00:02,511 --> 00:00:05,004
sex-ed to seniors, but I did
find this folder labeled
3
00:00:05,022 --> 00:00:07,410
- "Senior sex-ed thank you notes."
- Oh, don't open that.
4
00:00:07,422 --> 00:00:08,492
There's pictures in there.
5
00:00:08,516 --> 00:00:09,926
Oh! There are pictures.
6
00:00:09,951 --> 00:00:11,629
There are lots of pictures.
7
00:00:11,731 --> 00:00:15,075
Why would you not throw these
away or incinerate them?
8
00:00:15,093 --> 00:00:17,553
Because every memory deserves
to be chronicled.
9
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,775
Even the saggy ones.
10
00:00:18,793 --> 00:00:21,077
I am putting together
a scrapbook commemorating
11
00:00:21,096 --> 00:00:22,854
my first year
on the city council.
12
00:00:22,879 --> 00:00:24,360
This year whizzed by so fast.
13
00:00:24,397 --> 00:00:26,298
There was so much
more I wanted to do.
14
00:00:26,332 --> 00:00:29,085
But time is the relentless
and cruel enemy
15
00:00:29,109 --> 00:00:31,353
of the devoted civil servant.
16
00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:35,518
It's actually one of
the sub-titles of my scrapbook.
17
00:00:36,057 --> 00:00:37,574
Probably would've got more
stuff done if I hadn't
18
00:00:37,586 --> 00:00:40,229
spent so much time brainstorming
scrapbook titles.
19
00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:42,684
Ben and Leslie's day off.
Let's go relax.
20
00:00:42,702 --> 00:00:45,068
I cannot wait for our day off.
21
00:00:45,109 --> 00:00:48,110
But what if we took a day on
22
00:00:48,164 --> 00:00:50,055
and stayed here
and worked on some projects?
23
00:00:50,067 --> 00:00:52,189
- That sounds pretty sexy, right?
- No.
24
00:00:52,207 --> 00:00:55,902
Leslie, you've worked nonstop.
Holidays and weekends.
25
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,615
You're just gonna take
a day off.
26
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,151
- It'll be good for you.
- All right. You're cute.
27
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,185
- And you're right.
- Come on.
28
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,381
- Let's relax.
- All right.
29
00:01:02,848 --> 00:01:03,856
Hey, April.
30
00:01:03,881 --> 00:01:06,220
I'll be gone for
the next 19 1/2 hours,
31
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:07,963
so can you water my plants
in my office?
32
00:01:07,995 --> 00:01:10,210
We are all out of water,
actually.
33
00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:11,851
I'll have to use
boiling hot milk.
34
00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:13,241
- Are you really gonna do that?
- Yes.
35
00:01:13,261 --> 00:01:16,780
Well, everybody.
Um, wow.
36
00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:20,260
It has been an honor
and a pleasure
37
00:01:20,317 --> 00:01:21,317
to work with you all.
38
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:22,945
The time I have spent
at Parks and Rec
39
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,766
have been the happiest days
40
00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:26,859
of my life here
in the government.
41
00:01:26,969 --> 00:01:28,900
And I know everyone says it,
but I sincerely hope
42
00:01:28,912 --> 00:01:31,881
that we stay in touch.
43
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,268
What the fuck is
happening right now?
44
00:01:37,094 --> 00:01:38,544
Today's my last day, Leslie.
45
00:01:38,569 --> 00:01:39,588
I'm retiring.
46
00:01:39,611 --> 00:01:41,727
What?
Why didn't you tell us?
47
00:01:41,758 --> 00:01:43,592
Well, I didn't want to make
a big fuss.
48
00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:46,660
Although, gosh, I'm pretty sure
I mentioned it a few times.
49
00:01:46,703 --> 00:01:48,587
Oh, God, they're gonna
fire people, aren't they?
50
00:01:48,611 --> 00:01:50,499
Yeah, I am two years
from my pension.
51
00:01:50,547 --> 00:01:51,581
Can you believe it?
52
00:01:51,597 --> 00:01:54,175
Only six months left
until I retire.
53
00:01:54,262 --> 00:01:55,330
Ooh.
54
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,674
What did Jerry say?
55
00:01:56,693 --> 00:01:57,862
Jerry was here?
56
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,734
Well, this is my last weep.
Oops.
57
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,769
I mean, "weep."
58
00:02:02,841 --> 00:02:04,725
Week.
59
00:02:05,596 --> 00:02:06,370
Jeez.
60
00:02:08,338 --> 00:02:10,047
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Just wait.
61
00:02:10,053 --> 00:02:11,128
Everybody wait. Okay.
62
00:02:11,152 --> 00:02:12,664
As much as we want this
to happen,
63
00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:14,442
we can't let Jerry
just disappear.
64
00:02:14,499 --> 00:02:16,259
We have to commemorate
this somehow.
65
00:02:16,301 --> 00:02:17,226
You're right.
66
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,140
Jerry, thank you
for your service.
67
00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:21,977
Good-bye.
68
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:25,258
Thanks, Ron.
That speech means a lot.
69
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:28,970
Okay, well, I am going to go and
say good-bye to some other folks.
70
00:02:30,143 --> 00:02:31,614
Okay, see you tomorrow, Jerry.
71
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:39,730
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
72
00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:56,801
So we ran all your tests,
and everything looks great.
73
00:02:57,123 --> 00:03:00,378
You might be the healthiest
human being we've ever seen.
74
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:03,238
You have the resting heart rate
of a 100-year-old tortoise.
75
00:03:03,287 --> 00:03:04,680
Yes, I get that a lot.
76
00:03:04,707 --> 00:03:06,182
So my childhood illness--
77
00:03:06,195 --> 00:03:07,636
there's no chance
I would pass that on?
78
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:10,343
It wasn't genetic, so you
shouldn't worry at all.
79
00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:13,246
You have every reason
to expect a healthy child.
80
00:03:13,342 --> 00:03:16,372
In fact, if you'd like, you
can provide your sample today.
81
00:03:16,742 --> 00:03:18,030
Today?
82
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,382
Like, today, today?
83
00:03:19,415 --> 00:03:20,459
- This today?
- Well, yes.
84
00:03:20,472 --> 00:03:23,533
I mean, the timing is right according
to Ann's ovulation schedule.
85
00:03:23,563 --> 00:03:26,277
Unless there's a reason you'd
like to wait till next month.
86
00:03:27,879 --> 00:03:29,313
No.
87
00:03:29,564 --> 00:03:30,814
None.
88
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,002
One other question.
89
00:03:32,014 --> 00:03:32,852
Completely off topic.
90
00:03:32,871 --> 00:03:35,333
Would I be providing
this sample...
91
00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:37,077
today?
92
00:03:37,657 --> 00:03:39,838
Here I am thinking about
how fast
93
00:03:39,856 --> 00:03:41,882
my first year in city council
has gone,
94
00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:44,963
and Jerry has had 40 years
whiz past him
95
00:03:44,981 --> 00:03:46,499
with nothing to show for it.
96
00:03:46,546 --> 00:03:48,115
This is everything
in his file--
97
00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:50,342
a handicapped parking sticker
from when he got gout,
98
00:03:50,361 --> 00:03:52,740
a Parks and Rec golf cart
driving exam
99
00:03:52,755 --> 00:03:54,289
which he failed,
100
00:03:54,324 --> 00:03:56,380
a scathing performance review.
101
00:03:56,455 --> 00:03:58,872
I mean, why would
anyone be so mean?
102
00:03:58,928 --> 00:04:00,484
Oh, wait. I wrote this.
103
00:04:00,578 --> 00:04:01,541
I stand by it.
104
00:04:01,572 --> 00:04:03,233
Well, Jerry was never really
the type
105
00:04:03,246 --> 00:04:06,596
to rise above mediocrity
or to it.
106
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,476
That's what I thought,
but when he started,
107
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,453
he had a lot of dreams
and goals.
108
00:04:10,472 --> 00:04:12,946
I mean, look at
his original entry paperwork.
109
00:04:12,989 --> 00:04:14,775
He wanted to meet the mayor,
110
00:04:14,829 --> 00:04:16,778
have a building
named after him.
111
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,366
I just can't let Jerry
leave here with nothing
112
00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:19,900
and go home to an empty life.
113
00:04:19,918 --> 00:04:21,371
Well, I'll help with anything.
114
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,255
Just promise
we'll do it quickly.
115
00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,033
I'm making us
a mac and cheese pizza for--
116
00:04:25,052 --> 00:04:26,483
- Mac and cheese pizza?
- Yeah.
117
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,785
- You're making that?
- Yeah.
118
00:04:31,197 --> 00:04:34,199
Torturing Jerry was my
favorite thing in the world.
119
00:04:34,234 --> 00:04:35,765
After making out with you.
120
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,819
Remember when we did both
at the same time?
121
00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:40,024
It made him so uncomfortable.
122
00:04:40,717 --> 00:04:42,274
This is a sad day.
123
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,546
Who are we gonna
make fun of now?
124
00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:44,533
No need to worry.
125
00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:47,028
Every place I've ever worked
in has had a "Jerry."
126
00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:48,263
When one Jerry leaves,
127
00:04:48,282 --> 00:04:50,180
the office naturally selects
128
00:04:50,186 --> 00:04:52,003
a new Jerry to fill that role.
129
00:04:52,024 --> 00:04:53,374
It's Social Darwinism.
130
00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:55,027
The strong prey on the weak.
131
00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:59,088
Soon, one of you will be
ridiculed mercilessly.
132
00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:01,013
Ah, nature.
133
00:05:03,829 --> 00:05:05,597
Okay.
My transfer was approved.
134
00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:07,611
So starting now,
I am an employee
135
00:05:07,636 --> 00:05:08,835
of the County Health Board.
136
00:05:08,886 --> 00:05:10,217
You are no longer my boss,
137
00:05:10,241 --> 00:05:12,390
and we can have a baby without
being a conflict of interest.
138
00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:13,361
Clear sailing.
139
00:05:13,423 --> 00:05:15,993
Goodbye, Ann Perkins,
my excellent employee.
140
00:05:16,051 --> 00:05:18,542
Hello, Ann Perkins,
my fallopian princess.
141
00:05:18,661 --> 00:05:20,330
So here's the drill.
142
00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:21,668
Make a deposit in here.
143
00:05:21,693 --> 00:05:24,383
If you fill it up all the
way, you get on the board.
144
00:05:24,969 --> 00:05:27,172
Then we take the sample,
spin it in the centrifuge,
145
00:05:27,185 --> 00:05:28,666
and prepare it
for fertilization.
146
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:30,538
Sounds romantic.
147
00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:31,954
I guess it's go time.
148
00:05:31,991 --> 00:05:33,625
Go time!
149
00:05:33,827 --> 00:05:35,448
Wait, what am I doing?
I don't go with you.
150
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,782
Oh, no, no.
I go in alone
151
00:05:36,811 --> 00:05:39,709
with this pornographic disc
and do it myself.
152
00:05:39,721 --> 00:05:42,257
And you stay out here and try not to
think about what I'm doing in there.
153
00:05:42,288 --> 00:05:45,532
And I try not to think about you waiting
out here trying not to think about me.
154
00:05:45,621 --> 00:05:47,441
Should I think about you?
155
00:05:47,459 --> 00:05:48,741
This is so weird.
156
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,007
Chris, we don't have
to do this today.
157
00:05:51,138 --> 00:05:53,083
This was totally
just sprung on us.
158
00:05:53,101 --> 00:05:55,265
Let's just take a moment.
159
00:05:55,284 --> 00:05:57,916
There's so many pamphlets
to look at.
160
00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:01,883
Yes, we do have very important
pamphlet reading to do.
161
00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:04,191
Excellent idea, Ann Perkins.
162
00:06:05,044 --> 00:06:06,304
Do I keep this?
163
00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:08,375
I don't know.
It feels wrong to leave it here.
164
00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:10,857
Give it to me.
165
00:06:12,296 --> 00:06:14,508
I panicked. Run!
166
00:06:16,387 --> 00:06:21,003
Here are the last
of the Animal Control reports.
167
00:06:22,357 --> 00:06:23,954
What are you doing, weirdo?
168
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,360
Just trying not
to spill anything.
169
00:06:26,378 --> 00:06:29,372
I believe Leslie said
to organize these by year.
170
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,454
Way ahead of you.
171
00:06:30,466 --> 00:06:32,301
I made two pile files.
172
00:06:33,658 --> 00:06:36,727
Pilo fibles. Ugh.
Filo pilos.
173
00:06:36,746 --> 00:06:38,463
Filo pilos?
That's not right.
174
00:06:38,754 --> 00:06:41,543
- Are you broken?
- No, everything's fine.
175
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,399
Well, I guess that settles
who the new Jerry is.
176
00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,228
No, it doesn't!
I barely even said it wrong.
177
00:06:46,248 --> 00:06:48,001
- Said it wrong.
- Stop it!
178
00:06:50,707 --> 00:06:52,157
This is how it begins.
179
00:06:52,528 --> 00:06:53,873
The next "Jerry."
180
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,277
One screwed-up sentence,
and 30 years later,
181
00:06:56,308 --> 00:06:57,871
I'm wearing
aquamarine sweater vests
182
00:06:57,877 --> 00:06:59,805
and listening to Bonnie Raitt
183
00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:01,686
and The da Vinci Code
on my iPod.
184
00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:07,619
It's already started.
185
00:07:08,788 --> 00:07:11,161
Believe it or not, Jerry,
you were young once.
186
00:07:11,187 --> 00:07:12,573
Young and full of dreams.
187
00:07:12,591 --> 00:07:14,471
I forgot I wrote all this.
188
00:07:14,489 --> 00:07:17,374
And as unrealistic
and absurd as those goals were,
189
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,955
we are not letting you retire
until we help you achieve them.
190
00:07:21,077 --> 00:07:22,802
So let's see what's first.
191
00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:25,015
"Eat in city council
private dining room."
192
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:26,391
That we can achieve.
193
00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:27,237
Right now?
194
00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:28,806
Sure. Let's go.
195
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,278
Authorized personnel only.
196
00:07:30,302 --> 00:07:31,490
Oh, they're with me.
197
00:07:31,508 --> 00:07:34,440
City Councilor Leslie Knope,
clearance level four.
198
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:36,663
Guests are only allowed
on Wednesdays.
199
00:07:36,688 --> 00:07:38,926
And we don't have
clearance levels.
200
00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:40,247
I know, but shouldn't we?
201
00:07:40,272 --> 00:07:41,710
I mean, it sounds so cool.
202
00:07:41,743 --> 00:07:43,824
Anyway, we just need to get
in there real quick
203
00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:45,246
and maybe take a picture.
204
00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:48,729
He's retiring as a City Hall
employee after 41 years,
205
00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:50,425
and it was his dream
to eat here.
206
00:07:50,448 --> 00:07:52,465
His dream? Really?
207
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,663
- Still no.
- It's okay, Leslie. Come on.
208
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,834
But thank you.
Thank you for trying.
209
00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:57,186
No, no, no, no, no.
I promised you
210
00:07:57,214 --> 00:07:59,199
an executive meal
and you're gonna get one.
211
00:07:59,263 --> 00:08:01,138
Ben, just--okay.
212
00:08:01,154 --> 00:08:03,585
I'm gonna go in there
and take a picture with Jerry.
213
00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:05,320
I put my arm around nothing.
214
00:08:05,341 --> 00:08:08,776
And then you Photoshop him
in later, okay?
215
00:08:11,221 --> 00:08:13,029
Congratulations
on your retirement.
216
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,116
Aw, thank you.
217
00:08:15,914 --> 00:08:19,032
One, three, seven, two, five,
nine.
218
00:08:19,061 --> 00:08:20,073
Pffft!
219
00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:21,992
Sudoku is easy.
220
00:08:22,287 --> 00:08:24,204
Is there even rules
to this game?
221
00:08:24,232 --> 00:08:27,234
There's a natural successor
to Jerry's sad, smelly crown.
222
00:08:27,252 --> 00:08:30,311
And it's not me.
It's Andy.
223
00:08:30,393 --> 00:08:31,568
Big guy? Check.
224
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:33,509
Goofy? Check.
225
00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:36,065
All I have to do is wait
for a textbook Dwyer screw-up,
226
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,935
which usually happens, mm,
every 20 minutes.
227
00:08:38,983 --> 00:08:41,285
Hey, if it isn't Filo Pilo.
228
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,409
Oh, real creative, Donna.
229
00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:43,785
You expect that to catch on?
230
00:08:43,813 --> 00:08:45,247
Babe, the pen.
231
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,061
Look at Andy.
There's ink all over him.
232
00:08:49,079 --> 00:08:50,406
Andy's the new Jerry.
233
00:08:50,431 --> 00:08:51,249
Game over.
234
00:08:51,258 --> 00:08:52,258
Awesome.
235
00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:53,715
Hey, I'm like a giant squid.
236
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:56,563
- Hey, honey, I'm ink Dracula.
- No, stop.
237
00:08:56,613 --> 00:08:58,281
Squid Dracula
is going to get you.
238
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,201
Barking up the wrong tree,
Filo.
239
00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:03,617
What do you mean?
240
00:09:03,705 --> 00:09:05,018
Andy will never
be the new Jerry.
241
00:09:05,036 --> 00:09:06,410
Nothing embarrasses him.
242
00:09:06,435 --> 00:09:08,421
He's like a giant puppy
with no shame.
243
00:09:08,451 --> 00:09:11,182
What you need is some fresh meat
in the office.
244
00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:13,120
Or you guys could just stop
making fun of me.
245
00:09:13,151 --> 00:09:15,501
Yeah. No.
246
00:09:16,328 --> 00:09:18,679
Okay,
on to the next Jerry goal--
247
00:09:18,703 --> 00:09:20,454
meet Mayor Knudson.
248
00:09:20,489 --> 00:09:23,345
Oh, yeah.
He was the mayor at the time.
249
00:09:23,948 --> 00:09:25,698
I've always wanted to meet him.
250
00:09:25,737 --> 00:09:28,055
Well, today you're getting
that chance.
251
00:09:29,071 --> 00:09:30,122
So was he like
252
00:09:30,156 --> 00:09:32,741
- a really great mayor?
- No, not really.
253
00:09:32,775 --> 00:09:35,069
He resigned because of
corruption and racketeering,
254
00:09:35,094 --> 00:09:37,342
and then he died
from an overdose of pills.
255
00:09:37,363 --> 00:09:38,813
But actually his real
cause of death
256
00:09:38,856 --> 00:09:41,175
was being thrown out of
a helicopter while handcuffed.
257
00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:42,719
Some people say
he's still alive
258
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:43,938
because they never found
the body,
259
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:47,501
but they never found the body
because he exploded on impact.
260
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,274
- Sounds like a good dude.
- Yeah.
261
00:09:49,312 --> 00:09:51,262
I just wish I had a chance
to meet him,
262
00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:55,559
you know, years ago before all
the scandals and his death.
263
00:09:55,818 --> 00:09:57,012
But this is nice too.
264
00:09:57,037 --> 00:09:58,031
- Yeah.
- Is it?
265
00:09:58,069 --> 00:09:59,236
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
266
00:09:59,263 --> 00:10:00,162
It is.
267
00:10:00,197 --> 00:10:01,458
Okay, go over there.
268
00:10:01,489 --> 00:10:03,096
Let's meet Mayor Knudson.
269
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,200
I'll take your picture.
270
00:10:04,226 --> 00:10:06,301
Butterflies.
271
00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,206
Hello, Mr. Mayor.
272
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,358
First of all, I'm so sorry
273
00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:11,905
that those Serbian mobsters shoved
you out of that helicopter.
274
00:10:11,917 --> 00:10:13,326
You deserve better.
275
00:10:13,397 --> 00:10:15,711
Okay, you tried,
but I took a day off
276
00:10:15,729 --> 00:10:19,304
to spend with you, not with you
and Jerry and a dead mayor.
277
00:10:19,359 --> 00:10:20,805
Can we please
just call it a day?
278
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:23,036
No, we can't because
in a few short years,
279
00:10:23,054 --> 00:10:24,536
we're gonna be visiting
Jerry here,
280
00:10:24,548 --> 00:10:25,963
and he will have achieved
nothing.
281
00:10:25,981 --> 00:10:27,057
Is that what you want?
282
00:10:27,073 --> 00:10:28,859
- No.
- Okay, then.
283
00:10:28,886 --> 00:10:30,642
It's really been nice
to meet you.
284
00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:32,426
- Okay, Jerry, let's go.
- Ooh.
285
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:34,735
Ronfire of the vanities.
286
00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:36,176
Filo Pilo.
287
00:10:36,213 --> 00:10:37,468
Are you kidding me?
288
00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:39,423
Listen, now that Jerry's gone,
289
00:10:39,435 --> 00:10:40,991
we need to hire someone
to pick up the slack.
290
00:10:41,009 --> 00:10:42,444
A new person in the office?
291
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:44,855
Not a person.
An intern.
292
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:47,153
Why on earth
would I get an intern?
293
00:10:47,169 --> 00:10:50,175
Interns cost nothing
to the taxpayer.
294
00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:51,429
And more importantly,
295
00:10:51,448 --> 00:10:52,810
they're usually
stupid and terrible.
296
00:10:52,845 --> 00:10:53,826
So they get no work done.
297
00:10:53,851 --> 00:10:55,387
It's like a Jerry
you don't have to pay.
298
00:10:55,477 --> 00:10:58,162
Damn, son.
That is one compelling argument.
299
00:10:58,297 --> 00:10:59,597
Keep it up, Filo.
300
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:03,082
We may destroy this government
one day after all.
301
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,892
These pamphlets
are fascinating.
302
00:11:06,926 --> 00:11:09,529
It says here that some men
gain "sympathy weight"
303
00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:10,730
when their partners
get pregnant.
304
00:11:10,778 --> 00:11:12,645
If that happens to me,
I'd be miserable.
305
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:13,498
But happy.
306
00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:14,780
But sad.
307
00:11:14,863 --> 00:11:16,426
I would have never imagined
308
00:11:16,444 --> 00:11:19,682
the baby-making process
to be this clinical.
309
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,321
I mean, imagine if actual sex
were like this.
310
00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:23,840
Let me remove my clothes
311
00:11:23,870 --> 00:11:26,109
so we may begin to engage
in physical activity
312
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:28,480
to multiply our genes.
313
00:11:28,983 --> 00:11:31,326
And it's also weird
because we dated
314
00:11:31,351 --> 00:11:34,574
and we remember what it's like
to engage in some of those
315
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,549
- physical activities.
- Exactly.
316
00:11:36,591 --> 00:11:41,572
And we were also pretty good
at those physical activities.
317
00:11:41,616 --> 00:11:43,318
Yes, we were.
318
00:11:43,857 --> 00:11:45,741
Yes, we were.
319
00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:52,828
You know,
is this all the pamphlets?
320
00:11:52,853 --> 00:11:53,907
'Cause I think that maybe
321
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:56,408
I have some
322
00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:58,034
left in my bedroom.
323
00:11:58,052 --> 00:11:59,124
Oh, well, then,
324
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,790
we should definitely
go look for those.
325
00:12:00,827 --> 00:12:02,402
- Let's find those.
- We need to find those.
326
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,115
Hurry.
327
00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:10,577
Okay, everyone gather around.
328
00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:11,795
Leslie,
I really appreciate this,
329
00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:13,818
but I did promise Gayle
I would leave by 5:00.
330
00:12:14,272 --> 00:12:17,550
She has a tasty surprise
waiting for me,
331
00:12:17,575 --> 00:12:18,810
if you know what I mean.
332
00:12:18,944 --> 00:12:20,194
Gross, Jerry.
333
00:12:20,224 --> 00:12:21,424
She made a meatloaf.
334
00:12:21,489 --> 00:12:22,930
Well, this is better
than meatloaf.
335
00:12:22,948 --> 00:12:24,468
When Jerry first applied
for this job,
336
00:12:24,481 --> 00:12:27,346
one of this goals was to have
a building named after him.
337
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:28,931
Again,
that is an absurd request
338
00:12:28,943 --> 00:12:30,081
considering your work record.
339
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,946
But I thought maybe he could
have a room named after him.
340
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:37,078
So henceforth,
Parks and Rec conference room
341
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:39,649
will serve as a testament
342
00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:41,791
to your years
of public service.
343
00:12:41,832 --> 00:12:44,207
- Oh, my God.
- Hear, hear.
344
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,980
"Jerry Gergich Memorial
Conference Room.
345
00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:49,162
R.I.P."?
346
00:12:49,187 --> 00:12:52,150
Oh, the guy at the plaque
store thought you had died.
347
00:12:52,191 --> 00:12:54,754
It was a rush job, so we
didn't have time to change it.
348
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,829
It doesn't matter. We can just
pretend it means retire in peace.
349
00:12:57,919 --> 00:12:58,838
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
350
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,155
- So bring out the cake!
- Oh.
351
00:13:01,178 --> 00:13:03,265
Speech, speech, speech.
352
00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:05,302
Well, thank you, guys.
353
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:06,801
I'm not much of a speechmaker,
354
00:13:06,822 --> 00:13:09,274
but I do like good cake.
Delicious.
355
00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,958
Uh, you're on fire.
356
00:13:12,997 --> 00:13:14,235
Oh!
357
00:13:14,284 --> 00:13:15,397
Oh, my God, Jerry!
358
00:13:15,434 --> 00:13:16,482
Whoa.
359
00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:30,655
Well, that went roughly
as well as I thought it would.
360
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,297
I promised Gayle
I'd leave at 5:00.
361
00:13:33,326 --> 00:13:35,639
I guess this is it.
362
00:13:36,245 --> 00:13:37,496
Bye.
363
00:13:38,062 --> 00:13:39,863
See you tomorrow, Jeremy.
364
00:13:40,178 --> 00:13:41,660
Well,
365
00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:43,612
pretty heroic, huh, guys?
366
00:13:43,636 --> 00:13:46,025
- Hard to make fun of that.
- Oh, man, the cake.
367
00:13:46,428 --> 00:13:48,646
Filo Pilo ruined the cake.
368
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,173
Classic Pilo.
369
00:13:50,191 --> 00:13:51,792
What how is that my fault?
370
00:13:51,838 --> 00:13:54,345
Stupid Jerry. Should have
never saved his life.
371
00:13:58,698 --> 00:13:59,568
Hey, Jerry.
372
00:13:59,587 --> 00:14:00,484
Do you have a second?
373
00:14:00,503 --> 00:14:02,648
Leslie. Well,
this is a lovely surprise.
374
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,049
Come on in.
Have breakfast with the family.
375
00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:06,229
That's okay.
I just popped by to apologize
376
00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:07,354
and to give you something.
377
00:14:07,386 --> 00:14:09,017
- Is that Leslie Knope?
- Yes.
378
00:14:09,029 --> 00:14:10,198
Oh, hi, Gayle.
379
00:14:10,227 --> 00:14:11,736
What a surprise.
380
00:14:11,805 --> 00:14:14,320
I insist you join us
for breakfast.
381
00:14:14,385 --> 00:14:18,037
This guy is the greatest
breakfast chef in the world.
382
00:14:18,213 --> 00:14:20,394
You know, I'm not really
into breakfast foods.
383
00:14:20,416 --> 00:14:22,441
Really? Your purse
is shaped like a waffle.
384
00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:24,447
- Is it?
- Please join us.
385
00:14:24,466 --> 00:14:26,491
The Gergiches don't take no
for an answer.
386
00:14:26,509 --> 00:14:28,427
- Mm-mm.
- Ugh, okay.
387
00:14:29,308 --> 00:14:30,835
Come on in.
388
00:14:31,086 --> 00:14:33,738
Girls, we've got company.
389
00:14:37,359 --> 00:14:40,078
So, you want
to get out of here?
390
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,082
Work just started,
Ms. Meagle.
391
00:14:42,134 --> 00:14:43,765
Yeah, but our work
is just beginning.
392
00:14:43,777 --> 00:14:44,629
You know what I'm saying?
393
00:14:44,647 --> 00:14:46,658
Oh, Donna,
who's the new boy toy?
394
00:14:46,707 --> 00:14:48,209
I'm Taylor, the new intern.
395
00:14:48,258 --> 00:14:50,039
This is the new intern?
Are you kidding me?
396
00:14:50,071 --> 00:14:52,139
Yeah, he went to high school
with my sister, Natalie.
397
00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:54,459
He was a big deal
on the football team.
398
00:14:54,506 --> 00:14:57,562
Oh, meathead jock type, huh?
399
00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:59,512
Actually, I quit football
senior year
400
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,384
so I could help my pastor
run a homeless shelter.
401
00:15:01,415 --> 00:15:02,515
Oh.
Pfftt!
402
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:05,123
This guy loves the homeless so
much, he should marry them, right?
403
00:15:05,164 --> 00:15:07,239
Anybody would be lucky
to marry him.
404
00:15:07,314 --> 00:15:09,074
Hey, Taylor, do you want
to marry me and April?
405
00:15:09,087 --> 00:15:11,421
Wish I could, man,
but I'm not a "marriage" dude.
406
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:12,495
I've got a lot of love to give,
407
00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:14,909
and it just seems unfair
to put boundaries on it.
408
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,464
He gets it.
409
00:15:16,503 --> 00:15:18,304
You so get it.
410
00:15:21,851 --> 00:15:22,770
Oh, hey.
411
00:15:22,782 --> 00:15:25,340
Hi. Should I keep walking...
412
00:15:25,614 --> 00:15:26,503
towards you?
413
00:15:26,537 --> 00:15:28,762
Yeah, I could stop,
414
00:15:28,993 --> 00:15:30,181
and you could walk.
415
00:15:30,253 --> 00:15:33,387
Or you know what,
we could meet in the middle.
416
00:15:33,654 --> 00:15:35,405
Great plan.
417
00:15:37,127 --> 00:15:39,468
- Hello.
- Hi.
418
00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:47,786
- Welp.
- Okay.
419
00:15:53,549 --> 00:15:56,534
Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
420
00:15:56,849 --> 00:15:57,695
No.
421
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,831
Ron, I'm the new Jerry.
422
00:16:00,008 --> 00:16:02,358
Well, is whining going to do
anything about it?
423
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:03,987
You don't want to be
a whipping boy.
424
00:16:03,999 --> 00:16:05,287
Stand up for yourself.
425
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:06,906
You don't understand, Ron.
426
00:16:07,018 --> 00:16:08,897
I already was Jerry.
427
00:16:08,953 --> 00:16:10,909
I was a skinny Indian kid
in South Carolina,
428
00:16:10,927 --> 00:16:12,015
and it sucked.
429
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,726
It took me 12 years,
but I reinvented myself.
430
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,758
I'm a business owner.
I wear dope suits.
431
00:16:16,799 --> 00:16:17,966
I have fur underwear.
432
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,001
It was all for nothing.
433
00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:22,020
I'm back to being a Jerry.
434
00:16:22,903 --> 00:16:23,485
All right.
435
00:16:23,506 --> 00:16:26,250
I gotta buy some sweat pants
and a Nicholas Sparks novel.
436
00:16:26,312 --> 00:16:28,162
Might as well lean into it.
437
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,073
Tom can take care of himself.
He's a grown man.
438
00:16:32,109 --> 00:16:33,246
Well, half-grown.
439
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:34,339
He does have a business
440
00:16:34,351 --> 00:16:36,893
where he rents out his clothes
to 12-year-olds.
441
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,865
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast ♪
442
00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:43,002
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast ♪
443
00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:45,003
♪ Why don't you start ♪
♪ your day ♪
444
00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:49,343
♪ The Gergich way with eggs, ♪
♪ bacon, and-- ♪
445
00:16:52,153 --> 00:16:54,017
Oh, me?
♪ T-toast ♪
446
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,937
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast ♪
447
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,802
♪ Eggs, bacon, and toast ♪
448
00:16:59,838 --> 00:17:01,689
♪ Why don't you start ♪
♪ your day ♪
449
00:17:01,723 --> 00:17:03,357
♪ The Gergich way with ♪
450
00:17:03,391 --> 00:17:05,693
- ♪ Eggs, bacon, and-- ♪
- ♪ Toast ♪
451
00:17:08,312 --> 00:17:09,328
Very good.
452
00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:10,799
We sing that every morning.
453
00:17:10,811 --> 00:17:12,204
But it's an extra treat
454
00:17:12,223 --> 00:17:14,041
because you're here
to sing it with us.
455
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,244
Thanks, guys.
456
00:17:15,256 --> 00:17:16,730
Jerry, I wanted your last day
457
00:17:16,755 --> 00:17:18,600
at work to be special,
and I feel like I let you down.
458
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:19,444
No!
459
00:17:19,462 --> 00:17:23,938
So I made you this scrapbook
with nearly 4 amazing pages
460
00:17:23,969 --> 00:17:25,632
jam-packed with memories
461
00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:26,968
of your time in the government.
462
00:17:26,999 --> 00:17:28,466
Oh, my go--
463
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,851
Well, look.
464
00:17:29,886 --> 00:17:31,514
Oh, honey.
465
00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:35,114
You look great
in every one of these.
466
00:17:35,136 --> 00:17:38,170
You are still
the most handsome man
467
00:17:38,189 --> 00:17:39,530
in the world to me.
468
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:42,383
Ugh. Mom, come on.
469
00:17:42,415 --> 00:17:44,409
Yeah, jeez, mom.
We're eating.
470
00:17:44,428 --> 00:17:46,963
You know, it doesn't
make any sense.
471
00:17:47,677 --> 00:17:51,241
Leslie,
that is really sweet of you, but
472
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,913
you don't have to
worry about me.
473
00:17:52,932 --> 00:17:54,032
I'm great.
474
00:17:54,376 --> 00:17:55,826
Here.
I want to show you something.
475
00:17:55,851 --> 00:17:56,801
Okay.
476
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,246
You also dropped that, clumsy.
477
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,691
Where am I?
478
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:09,031
I know I didn't achieve
all my work goals,
479
00:18:09,043 --> 00:18:10,849
but, Leslie, I don't care
480
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:12,393
because for me, the best part
481
00:18:12,405 --> 00:18:13,935
about working
in the Parks Department
482
00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:15,780
was that I got to be home
every night
483
00:18:15,799 --> 00:18:17,917
with my family at 5:00.
484
00:18:18,002 --> 00:18:20,821
And to me,
that's what mattered most.
485
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,420
- Little Sebastian...
- Oh, wow.
486
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:24,645
Jerry.
487
00:18:24,682 --> 00:18:27,133
Thank you for sharing this
with me.
488
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:29,052
I--
489
00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:30,932
You have a wonderful life.
490
00:18:30,957 --> 00:18:33,043
Mmhmm.
Aw.
491
00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:34,729
Group hug.
492
00:18:34,757 --> 00:18:36,691
Uhoh, here they are.
493
00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:38,282
The hug machine is here.
494
00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:41,374
The hug machine--
495
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:44,708
it's firing on all cylinders.
496
00:18:46,021 --> 00:18:49,272
Okay, I think we should be
adults and talk about this.
497
00:18:49,621 --> 00:18:50,559
I would love to.
498
00:18:50,571 --> 00:18:52,450
I was nervous after yesterday
499
00:18:52,462 --> 00:18:54,403
because I was thinking
what does this mean for us?
500
00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:56,520
Not as parents,
but as Chris and Ann?
501
00:18:56,543 --> 00:18:58,208
I don't think on-again,
off-again
502
00:18:58,226 --> 00:18:59,635
is a great parental model.
503
00:18:59,641 --> 00:19:01,073
Well, I completely agree.
504
00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:03,922
But if there is
a hypothetical chance
505
00:19:03,953 --> 00:19:06,262
that we could provide a home
with two parents
506
00:19:06,285 --> 00:19:08,145
who are hypothetically
together,
507
00:19:08,164 --> 00:19:10,861
then that could be even better
hypothetically.
508
00:19:10,898 --> 00:19:13,689
Of course.
We should discuss and consider
509
00:19:13,707 --> 00:19:15,333
all the possibilities.
510
00:19:15,465 --> 00:19:18,247
The most important thing for me
and I think for you
511
00:19:18,373 --> 00:19:19,823
is that we have a child.
512
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:23,919
And I don't want to do anything
to jeopardize that.
513
00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:27,056
- Do you want to make out?
- I really do.
514
00:19:29,504 --> 00:19:30,867
Hey.
515
00:19:30,885 --> 00:19:32,039
What are you doing here, Jerry?
516
00:19:32,064 --> 00:19:33,277
I thought you were fired.
517
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:35,303
I wasn't fired.
I retired.
518
00:19:35,337 --> 00:19:36,530
That's what they all say.
519
00:19:36,548 --> 00:19:38,499
I asked Jerry to come in.
520
00:19:38,519 --> 00:19:41,479
That new intern wasn't working
out, so I got rid of him.
521
00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:44,955
Once again, I object in
the strongest possible terms.
522
00:19:44,972 --> 00:19:46,868
Once again, noted.
523
00:19:46,914 --> 00:19:50,314
I have also asked Jerry to come
in a couple hours a week
524
00:19:50,361 --> 00:19:52,305
until we find
a permanent replacement.
525
00:19:52,311 --> 00:19:54,007
Ugh, just when
we were rid of him?
526
00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:56,194
- Yeah, I don't know, Ron.
- Are you hearing me, son?
527
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,758
Jerry will come in once a week,
528
00:19:58,803 --> 00:20:00,543
and everyone will get
to watch him eat
529
00:20:00,555 --> 00:20:04,825
and talk to him about anything
he might do or say or fart.
530
00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:07,483
- Welcome back, Jerry.
- Thank you.
531
00:20:07,495 --> 00:20:09,962
Oh, it feels good
just to be ba--
532
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,213
Classic new guy.
533
00:20:14,237 --> 00:20:16,744
I'm sorry that I spent
your day off with Jerry
534
00:20:16,762 --> 00:20:18,806
- instead of relaxing with you.
- It's all right.
535
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:20,927
And after you fell asleep
making Jerry's scrapbook,
536
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:23,197
I went back to season
one of Fringe
537
00:20:23,216 --> 00:20:24,755
to check for plot holes.
538
00:20:24,784 --> 00:20:27,544
As I suspected--airtight.
539
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,931
I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
540
00:20:29,969 --> 00:20:31,228
I love my job.
541
00:20:31,247 --> 00:20:34,279
But in the blink of an eye,
I'm gonna be retiring,
542
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,978
you know, and flying off
on Marine One
543
00:20:37,015 --> 00:20:39,161
with you
and a Secret Service detail.
544
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,809
Achievements are great,
545
00:20:41,009 --> 00:20:43,277
but I want more than that.
546
00:20:43,525 --> 00:20:46,165
I want what Jerry has.
547
00:20:46,753 --> 00:20:48,611
I mean,
we're always gonna work,
548
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:52,042
but I think we need to fill
this scrapbook too.
549
00:20:52,164 --> 00:20:53,934
Maybe we should take
a real day off
550
00:20:53,958 --> 00:20:56,852
and talk about starting
our family.
551
00:20:57,101 --> 00:20:59,875
Yeah.
That sounds perfect.
552
00:21:00,869 --> 00:21:02,287
Hey, while you were
over at Jerry's,
553
00:21:02,321 --> 00:21:03,932
did you happen to get
any information
554
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:05,423
about his history with Gayle?
555
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:07,086
Like, was she a Russian spy
556
00:21:07,104 --> 00:21:10,131
and the KGB forced her
to marry Jerry as a cover?
557
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:12,334
You know, it's a mystery, Ben.
Let it go.
558
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:14,114
Yeah, I can't.
It keeps me awake at night.
559
00:21:14,136 --> 00:21:15,802
Hey, maybe Gayle
has one of those
560
00:21:15,814 --> 00:21:18,663
Oliver Sacks
brain disorder thingies?
561
00:21:18,701 --> 00:21:21,293
Like, does she think Jerry
is a friendly hat?
562
00:21:21,334 --> 00:21:23,011
I think you solved it.
563
00:21:23,089 --> 00:21:28,089
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