1 00:00:01,804 --> 00:00:05,804 ♪ The Simpsons 24x18 ♪ Pulpit Friction Original Air Date on April 28, 2013 2 00:00:05,829 --> 00:00:10,829 == sync, corrected by elderman == 3 00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:23,230 Hey! 4 00:00:24,865 --> 00:00:25,865 D'oh! 5 00:00:27,218 --> 00:00:29,019 Our poor couch. 6 00:00:29,053 --> 00:00:31,655 It sure has taken a beating over the years. 7 00:00:31,689 --> 00:00:33,690 Might be time to get a new one. 8 00:00:33,724 --> 00:00:35,859 Really? You want to throw something out 9 00:00:35,893 --> 00:00:37,694 just because it's a little old? 10 00:00:37,728 --> 00:00:39,129 Hello, everybody. 11 00:00:39,163 --> 00:00:41,298 Rotten, damn, lousy... 12 00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:46,403 Ow! 13 00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:49,856 Are there any two words 14 00:00:49,881 --> 00:00:52,821 more exciting than "couch shopping"? 15 00:00:52,846 --> 00:00:54,595 No need. Already went online 16 00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:56,493 and ordered a new couch just like the old one. 17 00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:59,003 And, you know, Marge, those salespeople 18 00:00:59,038 --> 00:01:01,022 weren't really our friends. 19 00:01:01,056 --> 00:01:03,908 But they let me take fabric samples. 20 00:01:03,943 --> 00:01:05,877 They charged a deposit. 21 00:01:05,911 --> 00:01:06,911 They had to. 22 00:01:06,946 --> 00:01:08,713 It came from corporate. 23 00:01:08,747 --> 00:01:12,066 That's right, sweetie, it always comes from corporate. 24 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:18,389 Hey, this one's going to Springfield. 25 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,309 Chumps. Don't everyone know that all New York furniture 26 00:01:21,343 --> 00:01:22,644 is full of bedbugs? 27 00:01:22,678 --> 00:01:24,195 Forget about it! 28 00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:25,847 It's forgot abouten! 29 00:01:29,251 --> 00:01:30,602 Ooh, wow. 30 00:01:31,837 --> 00:01:33,421 Mmm. 31 00:01:33,455 --> 00:01:35,590 New cushion smell. 32 00:01:35,624 --> 00:01:38,209 I'm gonna put all my stuffed animals on it. 33 00:01:38,244 --> 00:01:40,044 All right, get comfy. 34 00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:51,339 Gentlemen, the fort is complete and will stand forever. 35 00:01:51,373 --> 00:01:54,309 No way the Nazis will get in here. 36 00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:56,961 Oh, I thought we were the Nazis. 37 00:02:15,114 --> 00:02:19,017 The latest New York fashion has come to Springfield: bedbugs. 38 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:22,420 Ew, just hearing about them makes me itch. 39 00:02:22,454 --> 00:02:25,690 Ooh, ooh. Funny how the brain does that, huh? 40 00:02:25,724 --> 00:02:28,042 It's making me see them. 41 00:02:28,076 --> 00:02:30,995 The brain is so stupid. 42 00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:33,214 Those are bedbugs! 43 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,367 How did we get bedbugs? 44 00:02:36,402 --> 00:02:38,186 Probably one of Bart's dirty friends. 45 00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:40,355 Boy, why are your friends so dirty? 46 00:02:40,389 --> 00:02:42,707 Don't know. Why are your friends such drunks? 47 00:02:42,741 --> 00:02:44,475 Touché. 48 00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:49,948 I know this seems bad, but nothing brings out 49 00:02:49,982 --> 00:02:52,483 the best in Springfield like a crisis. 50 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,059 Bring out your bed! 51 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,194 Bring out your bed! 52 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:02,831 No! 53 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,409 Hold my hand. 54 00:03:15,979 --> 00:03:18,614 People, there is no need to worry. 55 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:22,501 I have developed the perfect bedbug repellant. 56 00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:29,675 You see, behold the power of modified bear pheromones. 57 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,548 Marge, Milhouse was clean as a whistle 58 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,433 till he played with your boy. 59 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,986 Now, we don't know it was the Simpsons. 60 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,690 I think the most obvious culprit is the poorest family. 61 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,724 'Tweren't us. 62 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,392 We don't even have beds. 63 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,945 We sleep in washtubs and coffins. 64 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,514 Why won't somebody blame the children? 65 00:03:52,548 --> 00:03:54,816 Well, the good news is it forced us all to church. 66 00:03:54,851 --> 00:03:56,285 You know, in the Middle Ages, 67 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,886 people took refuge in church 68 00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,655 to escape the bubonic plague, 69 00:03:59,689 --> 00:04:02,357 but that made the plague spread even faster. 70 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:03,742 Church! 71 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:09,314 Everyone, please, calm down. 72 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,983 Reverend Lovejoy is here. 73 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,884 He will give us succor. 74 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,557 The Epistle of Jeremy is often cited 75 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,227 as the most difficult book of the Apocrypha. 76 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,530 But to me, none of the anagignoskomena 77 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:28,400 are more contemplative than the book of Tobit. 78 00:04:33,472 --> 00:04:36,108 Mind if I p-p-pray through? 79 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,660 It's the parson. 80 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,413 Are you gonna let a sunny summer day be ruined 81 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,515 by a few b-b-bugs? 82 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,752 God's soldier in cardigan. 83 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,253 Looks like I picked a swell day 84 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,389 to return your six iron, Reverend. 85 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,923 Now, looky here, Tim. 86 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,526 This is a five-alarm brouhaha. 87 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,295 Now, for chili, that's just dandy, 88 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,764 but I brought you a little backup. 89 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,568 I think I'm more than capable of handling this. 90 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:07,773 Need I remind you of the bingo riot last summer? 91 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,475 God called all their numbers that day. 92 00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:12,861 Please meet your new associate minister, 93 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:15,314 the Right Reverend Elijah Hooper. 94 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,599 He was the number two man from Shelbyville. 95 00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:19,801 Introduced angle parking. 96 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,220 We got in six more cars. 97 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,039 Folks, isn't he something? 98 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,041 Big hand for Reverend Lovejoy. 99 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,959 Mm-hmm. 100 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,828 Everyone says great things about you, Tim, 101 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,079 and I can see why. 102 00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,915 The posture, the haircut, the tiny feet. 103 00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,917 It's amazing they hold you up. 104 00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:36,818 But they do. 105 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,455 They do. 106 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:42,024 So charming. 107 00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:44,926 It's like he's selling silver polish at the state fair. 108 00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:46,345 Look, here's why I'm here. 109 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:49,014 Church should make you happy, like a warm mug of soup. 110 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,149 Why does it taste better from a mug? 111 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,118 I don't know, but it does. 112 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,020 God help me, I'm paying attention. 113 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,755 Okay, who here has read Leviticus? 114 00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:57,789 Mmm! 115 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:02,127 Okay, now, who here has seen Meet the Parents? 116 00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:05,297 Me! Me, me. Me, me, me, me. 117 00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:07,933 Hilarious film; showed a whole new side of De Niro. 118 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,968 At first, he couldn't stand his son-in-law, 119 00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:11,570 but then they patch things up 120 00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:12,871 in a comical fashion, remember? 121 00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:15,507 The point is, at the end of the day, 122 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,875 we love each other. 123 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,878 And that's all this thing really says. 124 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,281 So, don't waste your whole Sunday listening to us. 125 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,118 Go home and watch one of the Die Hard movies on TV. 126 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:29,221 They're always on, and they're always good. 127 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,156 And, ladies, drop in on a neighbor's open house 128 00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,275 just to see what they did with their sun room. 129 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,276 Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. 130 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,877 Now, go on home. 131 00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:39,531 We're here every Sunday, just like Snoopy in color. 132 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,616 Aw. 133 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,351 Can you believe this guy, Helen? 134 00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:44,953 Hey... Helen? 135 00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:47,155 Tim. Yes, Helen? 136 00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:49,891 My wedding ring is creating a glare. 137 00:06:49,926 --> 00:06:51,626 Can you hold it? 138 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:56,064 This is the worst 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time ever. 139 00:06:59,339 --> 00:07:01,524 One day out of rehab, and I... 140 00:07:01,558 --> 00:07:04,727 Ooh... 141 00:07:06,146 --> 00:07:07,663 Whoa. 142 00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:11,000 Mmm, debugged and fresh as a daisy. 143 00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:12,568 Cool. 144 00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:14,820 They give you a bag of the bedbugs they killed. 145 00:07:16,073 --> 00:07:18,140 Homer's oatmeal, meet your raisins. 146 00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:24,263 Homer's Pie Man costume, Lisa's red dress, 147 00:07:24,298 --> 00:07:26,832 Lisa's red dress, Lisa's red dress, 148 00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,451 Sunday Best Bart... 149 00:07:28,485 --> 00:07:30,620 Where is it? 150 00:07:30,654 --> 00:07:31,821 My wedding dress! 151 00:07:33,590 --> 00:07:36,926 Vodka? Is this Krusty's? 152 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,395 A high-voltage monkey prod? 153 00:07:39,429 --> 00:07:42,565 It is Krusty's. He must have my dress. 154 00:07:42,599 --> 00:07:44,400 Let's go. What's the hurry? 155 00:07:44,434 --> 00:07:47,970 I don't want a comedian knowing my dress size. 156 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:54,393 Wait a minute! This has oats in it! 157 00:07:54,428 --> 00:07:56,162 Ooh, a nose hair trimmer. 158 00:07:59,016 --> 00:08:01,617 Yeah, I found a wedding dress in my dry cleaning. 159 00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:03,686 We used it in a sketch. 160 00:08:04,688 --> 00:08:06,989 Where's my mail-order bride? 161 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,728 Ugh, how long was he in there? 162 00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:15,064 Don't worry, we cleaned up the crate real good. 163 00:08:15,098 --> 00:08:16,599 What about my dress? 164 00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:19,502 Oh, gee, I'm afraid that dress is long gone. 165 00:08:19,536 --> 00:08:22,755 I threw it out the window during my post-show hissy fit. 166 00:08:23,924 --> 00:08:26,993 Some of us don't have dressing rooms. 167 00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:28,561 - Wooden! - Plastic. 168 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,129 Wooden. Plastic. 169 00:08:30,163 --> 00:08:32,164 Why do we always argue over coffee stirrers? 170 00:08:32,199 --> 00:08:33,966 You know what's really stirring? 171 00:08:34,001 --> 00:08:35,568 Live, local theater. 172 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,269 Yeah. 173 00:08:37,304 --> 00:08:39,905 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, before I let a Holy Joe 174 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:42,108 walk in this bar, I got to know 175 00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,577 which of the two true faiths you represent. 176 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:47,647 Well, I represent an easygoing offshoot of Protestantism. 177 00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:50,416 That is the wrong thing to say to a snake handler. 178 00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:51,851 Easy, Moe, easy. 179 00:08:51,885 --> 00:08:54,120 Ah, this thing's just loaded with rock salt. 180 00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:56,589 I use it to keep the raccoons out of my fridge. 181 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:59,375 And, of course, to coat the rims of my margarita glasses. 182 00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:06,716 Uh, Padre, can I be honest with you? 183 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:09,552 I've sucked every church book ribbon there is 184 00:09:09,586 --> 00:09:12,188 hoping to find one made of cherry. 185 00:09:12,222 --> 00:09:13,723 But there isn't. 186 00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:16,392 And if it's such a "good book," 187 00:09:16,426 --> 00:09:18,527 how come there's no blurbs on the back? 188 00:09:18,562 --> 00:09:20,096 Not even David Sedaris. 189 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:21,864 And he'll flack anything. 190 00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:23,966 Seriously, "pews"? 191 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,401 Homer, I love your passion. 192 00:09:25,435 --> 00:09:27,570 It's terrific. It's really something. 193 00:09:27,604 --> 00:09:29,238 Listen, I'm just thinking. 194 00:09:29,272 --> 00:09:31,390 Would you consider being my deacon? 195 00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:33,392 Deacon? Is that like one of those 196 00:09:33,427 --> 00:09:35,161 weird Catholic priest things? 197 00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:38,497 No, not at all. It's like a sexton or a rector. 198 00:09:38,532 --> 00:09:41,000 Oh, now we're talking. But why me? 199 00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:43,669 Because, if I can get the man who sleeps through church 200 00:09:43,704 --> 00:09:46,238 to be my guy, this town will know 201 00:09:46,273 --> 00:09:48,541 that religion can be fun. 202 00:09:48,575 --> 00:09:52,411 Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. 203 00:09:52,446 --> 00:09:54,680 But, as we say in the snow plow business, 204 00:09:54,715 --> 00:09:56,916 I'm your astronaut. 205 00:09:59,302 --> 00:10:01,537 What do you think? 206 00:10:01,571 --> 00:10:03,906 I didn't think Shotgun Mike's Bridal Store 207 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:06,876 had a nice dress, but you found it. 208 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:09,211 Homer, you're not supposed to see the dress 209 00:10:09,246 --> 00:10:10,863 before the wedding. 210 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,665 Just looking for the bathroom. 211 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,917 This is not the bathroom! 212 00:10:14,951 --> 00:10:18,020 Aw, but this paper towel feels so good. 213 00:10:18,055 --> 00:10:20,456 I'm sorry your dress is gone, Mom. 214 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,425 Oh, sweetie, it's not for me. 215 00:10:22,459 --> 00:10:25,561 I wanted you to wear that dress at your wedding. 216 00:10:25,595 --> 00:10:27,296 Well, then, you shouldn't feel bad, 217 00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:30,466 because I can't imagine myself ever getting married. 218 00:10:31,985 --> 00:10:35,287 Homer, your daughter doesn't want to get married. 219 00:10:35,322 --> 00:10:37,223 That would save us several hundred bucks. 220 00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:39,075 Tell her she's wrong! 221 00:10:39,109 --> 00:10:40,709 Right. Uh, 222 00:10:40,744 --> 00:10:42,211 I don't understand, Lisa. 223 00:10:42,245 --> 00:10:44,980 We let you get up early to watch the Royal Wedding. 224 00:10:45,015 --> 00:10:46,916 Hey, I have a weakness for pomp. 225 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,385 Since when? 226 00:10:49,419 --> 00:10:50,553 So, you see, 227 00:10:50,587 --> 00:10:52,455 what Jesus is saying 228 00:10:52,489 --> 00:10:53,956 really can be explained 229 00:10:53,990 --> 00:10:55,925 by an episode of Californication. 230 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,294 Oh. 231 00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:00,629 Now Reverend Lovejoy will lead us in song. 232 00:11:00,664 --> 00:11:03,816 ♪ God lifts you up where you be... ♪ 233 00:11:05,185 --> 00:11:07,970 ♪ God lifts you up where... 234 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,607 ♪ God lifts you up... 235 00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:14,643 Um... give me a minute. 236 00:11:14,678 --> 00:11:17,813 Uh, but first, let me introduce our new deacon-- Homer Simpson! 237 00:11:17,848 --> 00:11:19,982 It's an honor, sir. 238 00:11:22,152 --> 00:11:24,320 Homer Simpson a deacon? But why? 239 00:11:24,354 --> 00:11:26,989 You bring in the lost sheep, and the others will follow. 240 00:11:27,023 --> 00:11:29,091 Lost sheep. Yes! Sis boom bah! 241 00:11:30,961 --> 00:11:34,029 I don't think there's a place for me here anymore. 242 00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:36,899 Heading for the door, pushing the handle. 243 00:11:38,135 --> 00:11:40,603 Left foot across the threshold. 244 00:11:40,637 --> 00:11:43,472 Now the right. 245 00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:45,307 Walking to car. 246 00:11:45,342 --> 00:11:47,209 Stepped in hole. 247 00:11:47,244 --> 00:11:49,011 Twisted ankle. 248 00:11:49,045 --> 00:11:51,046 Tremendous pain. 249 00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:53,232 Keep it elevated. 250 00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:56,131 Church bulletin? Church bulletin? 251 00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,935 Find out in whose loving memory this week's service is. 252 00:11:59,434 --> 00:12:00,801 The answer may shock you. 253 00:12:00,835 --> 00:12:02,102 Dad? 254 00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:03,971 You always hated church. 255 00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:06,440 Now, for the record, I hated the building, 256 00:12:06,474 --> 00:12:09,109 the people in it and the spirit it represented. 257 00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:11,445 I never hated the church itself. 258 00:12:11,479 --> 00:12:15,616 And now, finally, I believe in something bigger than myself. 259 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:18,118 The only thing bigger than you is you tomorrow. 260 00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:19,620 Why, you little... 261 00:12:19,654 --> 00:12:21,038 lamb. 262 00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:23,874 Oh. Mustn't... kill own son. 263 00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:26,460 Only God can do that. 264 00:12:27,879 --> 00:12:31,331 ♪ Day by day 265 00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:35,135 ♪ Day by day 266 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,120 ♪ Oh Dear Lord 267 00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:41,291 ♪ Three things I pray 268 00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:45,195 ♪ To see thee more clearly 269 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:49,650 ♪ Love thee more dearly 270 00:12:49,684 --> 00:12:52,870 ♪ Follow thee more nearly 271 00:12:52,904 --> 00:12:55,022 ♪ Day by day 272 00:12:55,073 --> 00:12:57,474 ♪ Day by day ♪ ♪ Day by day... 273 00:12:59,694 --> 00:13:01,662 Church bulletin? Church bulletin? 274 00:13:01,696 --> 00:13:02,980 Church... 275 00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:04,665 Someone finally took one. 276 00:13:04,699 --> 00:13:07,935 I'm mentioned in it 'cause I'm sick. 277 00:13:09,871 --> 00:13:13,006 Sorry, Maggie. I just don't have the touch today. 278 00:13:16,344 --> 00:13:18,078 Mom, I found your wedding dress. 279 00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:21,181 How? 280 00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:24,001 Using something this town has never, ever seen-- 281 00:13:24,035 --> 00:13:26,703 good, honest police work. 282 00:13:26,738 --> 00:13:28,722 I staked out the alley 283 00:13:28,773 --> 00:13:31,058 and befriended the garbage man who took it. 284 00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:33,160 Then he gave it to a local theater company, 285 00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:35,178 who used it in the first unsuccessful version 286 00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:37,047 of Mamma Mia. 287 00:13:37,081 --> 00:13:39,616 In a bankruptcy sale, it was bought by a young couple. 288 00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:42,286 That couple right there. 289 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,721 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 290 00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:46,707 Oh. 291 00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:48,775 Thank you for finding it, sweetie. 292 00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:51,211 And seeing someone else get married in it 293 00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:53,447 is better than having it myself. 294 00:13:53,481 --> 00:13:55,549 You never know, Mom. I'm only eight. 295 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,184 I might get married someday, 296 00:13:57,218 --> 00:13:59,253 even if it's only a green card marriage 297 00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:01,922 to keep a Chinese dissident from being deported. 298 00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:04,791 We can have the reception at Wong Lee's. 299 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,797 ♪ Day by day, day by day 300 00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:15,068 ♪ The deacon's job is pretty okay ♪ 301 00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:17,971 ♪ Pretty okay 302 00:14:18,006 --> 00:14:21,642 ♪ I'm going to be a deacon, day by day ♪ 303 00:14:21,676 --> 00:14:25,279 ♪ I'm already a deacon, day by day... ♪ 304 00:14:25,313 --> 00:14:28,432 Dad, the Oogle street camera's driving around town today. 305 00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:29,766 Want to go moon it with me? 306 00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:32,603 Son, I'd love to, but I'm a deacon now. 307 00:14:32,637 --> 00:14:35,973 My butt's place is in my pants. 308 00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:45,849 Church songs with clapping. 309 00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:48,752 I don't think this is what Martin Presbyluther had in mind 310 00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:50,153 when he founded our religion 311 00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:51,688 by sticking his Three Suggestions 312 00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,457 under the Pope's windshield wiper. 313 00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:55,325 Mr. Flanders, this new reverend has thrown tar 314 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,943 in your half-pipe, too? 315 00:14:56,978 --> 00:14:59,363 I don't understand that on any level, but yes. 316 00:14:59,397 --> 00:15:00,781 Well, let's get Lovejoy back. 317 00:15:00,815 --> 00:15:02,699 Do you know where he is? 318 00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:06,269 He's in a place full of brimstone and exposed flesh. 319 00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:08,271 You mean he's selling hot tubs? 320 00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:09,373 Yes. 321 00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:14,711 The 7500 is all about jets, jets, jets. 322 00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:16,997 That's the one place you cannot cut corners. 323 00:15:17,048 --> 00:15:19,115 That, of course, and underwater speakers. 324 00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:21,301 That sounds expensive. I need this, Apu. 325 00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,286 Sir, can you please turn up the bubbles 326 00:15:23,304 --> 00:15:25,138 so we can argue in private here? 327 00:15:25,173 --> 00:15:27,808 We wouldn't have to do this if you remembered your Hindi. 328 00:15:27,842 --> 00:15:29,393 Oh, I remember it. 329 00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:31,228 I'm just pretending I can't understand you. 330 00:15:31,262 --> 00:15:33,480 Reverend, we want you to come back. 331 00:15:33,514 --> 00:15:34,948 Well, let's face it. 332 00:15:34,982 --> 00:15:36,717 I wasn't cut out for that job. 333 00:15:36,751 --> 00:15:38,452 Nobody listened. 334 00:15:38,486 --> 00:15:40,904 Look, the boy's not even listening now. 335 00:15:40,938 --> 00:15:43,857 He's right-- these underwater speakers are amazing. 336 00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:49,162 Reverend, this is just the kind of tomfoolery 337 00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:51,147 that's been on the upswing since you left. 338 00:15:51,165 --> 00:15:53,417 Pure, unadulterated tomfoolery! 339 00:15:53,451 --> 00:15:55,318 We shall take the 7500. 340 00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:57,688 And not a single jet more! 341 00:15:57,722 --> 00:15:59,072 Sorry, Ned. 342 00:15:59,107 --> 00:16:00,874 I finally found my calling. 343 00:16:00,908 --> 00:16:03,810 How are you guys fixed for decking? 344 00:16:03,845 --> 00:16:05,712 Oh, what a surprise. 345 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:08,882 A huge new expense you didn't tell us about. 346 00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:10,517 We've lost him. 347 00:16:10,551 --> 00:16:12,302 Buddy, there's a 50 in my vest pocket. 348 00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:13,820 Will you buy us some beers? 349 00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:18,118 The only cool thing about my dad was that he hated church. 350 00:16:18,169 --> 00:16:20,936 And now he's turned into a fat version of Flanders. 351 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,039 No offense. None taken. 352 00:16:25,576 --> 00:16:27,243 God doesn't need Twitter to reach people. 353 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,828 He uses leprosy and plagues. 354 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,215 Hmm. Plagues. 355 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,752 Ew, locusts. 356 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,387 Darkness. Yawn. 357 00:16:37,421 --> 00:16:38,955 Bingo! 358 00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:40,773 Flanders, are you willing to get Lovejoy back 359 00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:42,208 by hook or by crook? 360 00:16:42,259 --> 00:16:43,593 Neither, and I don't like it 361 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,178 when other people rhyme. 362 00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:46,746 Yes, but if I do something, 363 00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:49,098 will you look the other way? Hmm. 364 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,884 I'd like to turn in this boy 365 00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:52,435 for thinking about doing something naughty, 366 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:53,970 and myself for waiting 30 seconds 367 00:16:54,004 --> 00:16:55,421 before bringing him here. 368 00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:57,357 Whatever. Take 'em away, boys. 369 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,025 And that's why Flanders will never, ever be 370 00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,443 my partner in crime again. 371 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,694 Thanks for bailing me out. 372 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:02,962 Yeah, but don't push it. 373 00:17:02,997 --> 00:17:04,464 There's only so many times 374 00:17:04,498 --> 00:17:06,032 I can tell Nana it's my birthday. 375 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,067 Now, what's this prank? 376 00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,820 First, we got every dead bedbug in town. 377 00:17:10,854 --> 00:17:13,223 To think those exterminators were just 378 00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:15,291 going to throw these beauties away. 379 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,428 Now, to leave a nice, clean trail of bugs out of the swamp. 380 00:17:18,462 --> 00:17:22,165 The frogs follow, and Hooper's got a plague he can't handle. 381 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:30,306 Ugh! One of these bedbugs is still alive. 382 00:17:31,942 --> 00:17:34,310 Much better. 383 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,534 Ow! He took my contact! 384 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,820 Aah! Now I got two in one eye! 385 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:38,207 Remember you said, "When hell freezes over?" 386 00:18:38,225 --> 00:18:40,326 I think this is close enough. 387 00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:42,996 Huh. I'm in no position to argue. 388 00:18:57,578 --> 00:18:58,928 Help! Help! 389 00:18:58,962 --> 00:19:00,396 What should we do? 390 00:19:00,414 --> 00:19:01,831 We need guidance. 391 00:19:01,865 --> 00:19:03,232 I have a plan. 392 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,934 Save your civic leaders. 393 00:19:04,968 --> 00:19:07,403 Calm yourselves. In times like this, 394 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,356 there's one almighty being we can put our faith in-- 395 00:19:10,391 --> 00:19:11,841 Reverend Hooper. 396 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,710 It's okay, everyone. 397 00:19:13,744 --> 00:19:15,784 Who here has seen The Blind Side with Sandy Bullock? 398 00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:17,213 Remember when Big Mike was overwhelmed 399 00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:18,915 with scholarship offers? 400 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,184 Well, that's kind of how we are with these frogs. 401 00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:23,186 To hell with your references. 402 00:19:24,421 --> 00:19:26,105 We're dying here. 403 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,573 I'm more frog than Moe. 404 00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:31,394 Ribbet. Ribbet. 405 00:19:31,428 --> 00:19:33,296 Do something. 406 00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:35,298 Um, video games, uh, Twitter. 407 00:19:35,332 --> 00:19:36,966 Uh, How to Train Your Dragon. 408 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,001 Fight Club. Aah! 409 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,440 The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. 410 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:47,777 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. 411 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,780 He leadeth me beside the still waters. 412 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:53,583 He restoreth my soul. 413 00:19:53,617 --> 00:19:57,320 His words have soothed the amphibious beasts! 414 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,742 His boringness saved us all. 415 00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:06,129 Lovejoy! Lovejoy! Lovejoy! 416 00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:15,371 Where do you think you're going? 417 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,440 Let us pray. 418 00:20:22,813 --> 00:20:24,730 All right, we collected all the personal information 419 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,516 from Flanders comma Ned. 420 00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,284 Let's move on to the next house. 421 00:20:28,318 --> 00:20:29,685 Hmm, that's weird. 422 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,489 Four spheres-- two small, two gigantic. 423 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,425 Better zoom in. 424 00:20:35,459 --> 00:20:37,610 Compliments of the deacon. 425 00:20:37,661 --> 00:20:42,661 == sync, corrected by elderman == 426 00:20:44,668 --> 00:20:50,039 ♪ Day by day, day by day 427 00:20:50,073 --> 00:20:52,842 ♪ I've got three kids 428 00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:55,344 ♪ And two are okay 429 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,580 ♪ Two are okay 430 00:20:57,614 --> 00:21:00,850 ♪ One of them is the baby 431 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:05,154 ♪ The smart one is mine maybe 432 00:21:05,189 --> 00:21:08,424 ♪ I hope the boy gets rabies 433 00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:12,762 ♪ Day by day by day 434 00:21:12,796 --> 00:21:15,998 ♪ Day by day 435 00:21:17,134 --> 00:21:20,336 ♪ Oh, I pray 436 00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:22,505 ♪ Day by day by day 437 00:21:22,539 --> 00:21:24,674 ♪ By day. 438 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,668 Shh!