1 00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:22,334 ♪ The Simpsons 24x18 ♪ Pulpit Friction Original Air Date on April 28, 2013 2 00:00:22,391 --> 00:00:27,391 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 3 00:00:38,076 --> 00:00:39,528 Hey! 4 00:00:41,646 --> 00:00:42,646 D'oh! 5 00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,478 Our poor couch. 6 00:00:45,508 --> 00:00:47,948 It sure has taken a beating over the years. 7 00:00:47,975 --> 00:00:50,185 Might be time to get a new one. 8 00:00:50,236 --> 00:00:52,456 Really? You want to throw something out 9 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,025 just because it's a little old? 10 00:00:54,046 --> 00:00:55,630 Hello, everybody. 11 00:00:55,717 --> 00:00:57,725 Rotten, damn, lousy... 12 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,009 Ow! 13 00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,330 Are there any two words 14 00:01:06,349 --> 00:01:09,289 more exciting than "couch shopping"? 15 00:01:09,321 --> 00:01:13,163 No need. Already went online and ordered a new couch just like the old one. 16 00:01:13,395 --> 00:01:17,713 And, you know, Marge, those salespeople weren't really our friends. 17 00:01:17,736 --> 00:01:20,588 But they let me take fabric samples. 18 00:01:20,649 --> 00:01:22,583 They charged a deposit. 19 00:01:22,618 --> 00:01:23,781 They had to. 20 00:01:23,803 --> 00:01:25,427 It came from corporate. 21 00:01:25,447 --> 00:01:28,860 That's right, sweetie, it always comes from corporate. 22 00:01:32,871 --> 00:01:35,183 Hey, this one's going to Springfield. 23 00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:39,469 Chumps. Don't everyone know that all New York furniture is full of bedbugs? 24 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,985 Forget about it! 25 00:01:41,011 --> 00:01:42,628 It's forgot abouten! 26 00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:47,309 Ooh, wow. 27 00:01:49,213 --> 00:01:50,294 Mmm. 28 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,304 New cushion smell. 29 00:01:52,331 --> 00:01:54,987 I'm gonna put all my stuffed animals on it. 30 00:01:56,031 --> 00:01:58,031 All right, get comfy. 31 00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:08,032 Gentlemen, the fort is complete and will stand forever. 32 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,917 No way the Nazis will get in here. 33 00:02:10,948 --> 00:02:13,699 Oh, I thought we were the Nazis. 34 00:02:31,821 --> 00:02:35,724 The latest New York fashion has come to Springfield: Bedbugs. 35 00:02:35,758 --> 00:02:39,127 Ew, just hearing about them makes me itch. 36 00:02:39,161 --> 00:02:42,722 Ooh, ooh. Funny how the brain does that, huh? 37 00:02:42,993 --> 00:02:44,737 It's making me see them. 38 00:02:45,737 --> 00:02:47,613 The brain is so stupid. 39 00:02:48,363 --> 00:02:50,363 Those are bedbugs! 40 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,967 How did we get bedbugs? 41 00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:54,893 Probably one of Bart's dirty friends. 42 00:02:54,927 --> 00:02:57,062 Boy, why are your friends so dirty? 43 00:02:57,096 --> 00:02:59,584 Don't know. Why are your friends such drunks? 44 00:02:59,898 --> 00:03:01,142 Touché. 45 00:03:04,086 --> 00:03:05,706 I know this seems bad, 46 00:03:05,731 --> 00:03:08,994 but nothing brings out the best in Springfield like a crisis. 47 00:03:11,839 --> 00:03:13,640 Bring out your bed! 48 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,920 Bring out your bed! 49 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,381 No! 50 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,057 Hold my hand. 51 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:34,946 People, there is no need to worry. 52 00:03:34,971 --> 00:03:38,757 I have developed the perfect bedbug repellant. 53 00:03:40,890 --> 00:03:45,708 You see, behold the power of modified bear pheromones. 54 00:03:50,935 --> 00:03:53,174 Marge, Milhouse was clean as a whistle 55 00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:54,887 till he played with your boy. 56 00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:57,587 Now, we don't know it was the Simpsons. 57 00:03:57,606 --> 00:04:01,198 I think the most obvious culprit is the poorest family. 58 00:04:01,230 --> 00:04:02,230 'Tweren't us. 59 00:04:02,252 --> 00:04:04,049 We don't even have beds. 60 00:04:04,068 --> 00:04:06,260 We sleep in washtubs and coffins. 61 00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:09,012 Why won't somebody blame the children? 62 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,373 Well, the good news is it forced us all to church. 63 00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:12,962 You know, in the Middle Ages, 64 00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:16,079 people took refuge in church to escape the bubonic plague, 65 00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:18,838 but that made the plague spread even faster. 66 00:04:18,863 --> 00:04:20,015 Church! 67 00:04:22,188 --> 00:04:25,769 Everyone, please, calm down. 68 00:04:25,804 --> 00:04:27,342 Reverend Lovejoy is here. 69 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,393 He will give us succor. 70 00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:35,096 The Epistle of Jeremy is often cited 71 00:04:35,114 --> 00:04:38,750 as the most difficult book of the Apocrypha. 72 00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:42,015 But to me, none of the anagignoskomena 73 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,162 are more contemplative than the book of Tobit. 74 00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:52,621 Mind if I p-p-pray through? 75 00:04:52,647 --> 00:04:54,897 It's the parson. 76 00:04:55,012 --> 00:04:57,838 Are you gonna let a sunny summer day be ruined 77 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,966 by a few b-b-bugs? 78 00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:03,213 God's soldier in cardigan. 79 00:05:03,228 --> 00:05:06,814 Looks like I picked a swell day to return your six iron, Reverend. 80 00:05:06,852 --> 00:05:08,461 Now, looky here, Tim. 81 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,969 This is a five-alarm brouhaha. 82 00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:12,752 Now, for chili, that's just dandy, 83 00:05:12,783 --> 00:05:15,005 but I brought you a little backup. 84 00:05:17,326 --> 00:05:20,034 I think I'm more than capable of handling this. 85 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:24,239 Need I remind you of the bingo riot last summer? 86 00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,885 God called all their numbers that day. 87 00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:29,233 Please meet your new associate minister, 88 00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:31,896 the Right Reverend Elijah Hooper. 89 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,256 He was the number two man from Shelbyville. 90 00:05:34,282 --> 00:05:36,382 Introduced angle parking. 91 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,895 We got in six more cars. 92 00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:40,404 Folks, isn't he something? 93 00:05:40,428 --> 00:05:42,396 Big hand for Reverend Lovejoy. 94 00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:44,342 Mm-hmm. 95 00:05:44,473 --> 00:05:47,464 Everyone says great things about you, Tim, and I can see why. 96 00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:50,255 The posture, the haircut, the tiny feet. 97 00:05:50,304 --> 00:05:52,271 It's amazing they hold you up. 98 00:05:52,295 --> 00:05:53,360 But they do. 99 00:05:55,218 --> 00:05:56,773 They do. 100 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,210 So charming. 101 00:05:58,228 --> 00:06:01,251 It's like he's selling silver polish at the state fair. 102 00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:02,602 Look, here's why I'm here. 103 00:06:02,621 --> 00:06:05,991 Church should make you happy, like a warm mug of soup. 104 00:06:06,027 --> 00:06:07,663 Why does it taste better from a mug? 105 00:06:07,689 --> 00:06:09,591 I don't know, but it does. 106 00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:11,444 God help me, I'm paying attention. 107 00:06:11,463 --> 00:06:13,279 Okay, who here has read Leviticus? 108 00:06:13,337 --> 00:06:14,337 Mmm! 109 00:06:15,282 --> 00:06:18,561 Okay, now, who here has seen Meet the Parents? 110 00:06:18,964 --> 00:06:21,770 Me! Me, me. Me, me, me, me. 111 00:06:21,792 --> 00:06:24,319 Hilarious film; showed a whole new side of De Niro. 112 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,479 At first, he couldn't stand his son-in-law, 113 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,818 but then they patch things up 114 00:06:27,852 --> 00:06:29,379 in a comical fashion, remember? 115 00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:31,585 The point is, at the end of the day, 116 00:06:31,621 --> 00:06:33,454 we love each other. 117 00:06:33,488 --> 00:06:36,316 And that's all this thing really says. 118 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,769 So, don't waste your whole Sunday listening to us. 119 00:06:39,821 --> 00:06:42,623 Go home and watch one of the Die Hard movies on TV. 120 00:06:42,657 --> 00:06:45,834 They're always on, and they're always good. 121 00:06:45,959 --> 00:06:48,034 And, ladies, drop in on a neighbor's open house 122 00:06:48,046 --> 00:06:49,747 just to see what they did with their sun room. 123 00:06:49,782 --> 00:06:50,749 - Ooh. - Ooh. - Ooh. 124 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,357 Now, go on home. 125 00:06:52,398 --> 00:06:55,830 We're here every Sunday, just like Snoopy in color. 126 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,943 Aw. 127 00:06:58,048 --> 00:06:59,942 Can you believe this guy, Helen? 128 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:01,609 Hey... Helen? 129 00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,860 - Tim. - Yes, Helen? 130 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:06,242 My wedding ring is creating a glare. 131 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,014 Can you hold it? 132 00:07:08,197 --> 00:07:12,748 This is the worst 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time ever. 133 00:07:18,323 --> 00:07:20,347 One day out of rehab, and I... 134 00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,825 Ooh... 135 00:07:25,118 --> 00:07:26,545 Whoa. 136 00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:30,374 Mmm, debugged and fresh as a daisy. 137 00:07:30,543 --> 00:07:33,533 Cool. They give you a bag of the bedbugs they killed. 138 00:07:34,558 --> 00:07:37,339 Homer's oatmeal, meet your raisins. 139 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:43,061 Homer's Pie Man costume, Lisa's red dress, 140 00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:45,761 Lisa's red dress, Lisa's red dress, 141 00:07:45,795 --> 00:07:47,496 Sunday Best Bart... 142 00:07:48,339 --> 00:07:49,352 Where is it? 143 00:07:49,388 --> 00:07:50,972 My wedding dress! 144 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:55,524 Vodka? Is this Krusty's? 145 00:07:55,688 --> 00:07:58,315 A high-voltage monkey prod? 146 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:01,348 It is Krusty's. He must have my dress. 147 00:08:01,371 --> 00:08:03,246 - Let's go. - What's the hurry? 148 00:08:03,268 --> 00:08:06,804 I don't want a comedian knowing my dress size. 149 00:08:10,603 --> 00:08:13,250 Wait a minute! This has oats in it! 150 00:08:13,312 --> 00:08:15,139 Ooh, a nose hair trimmer. 151 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,247 Yeah, I found a wedding dress in my dry cleaning. 152 00:08:20,272 --> 00:08:22,702 We used it in a sketch. 153 00:08:23,428 --> 00:08:26,105 Where's my mail-order bride? 154 00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:31,454 Ugh, how long was he in there? 155 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,909 Don't worry, we cleaned up the crate real good. 156 00:08:33,957 --> 00:08:35,552 What about my dress? 157 00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:38,433 Oh, gee, I'm afraid that dress is long gone. 158 00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:41,677 I threw it out the window during my post-show hissy fit. 159 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,920 Some of us don't have dressing rooms. 160 00:08:45,962 --> 00:08:47,308 - Wooden! - Plastic. 161 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,833 - Wooden. - Plastic. 162 00:08:48,866 --> 00:08:51,010 Why do we always argue over coffee stirrers? 163 00:08:51,171 --> 00:08:52,878 You know what's really stirring? 164 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:54,306 Live, local theater. 165 00:08:55,353 --> 00:08:56,294 Yeah. 166 00:08:56,326 --> 00:08:59,372 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, before I let a Holy Joe 167 00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:03,303 walk in this bar, I got to know which of the two true faiths you represent. 168 00:09:03,346 --> 00:09:06,613 Well, I represent an easygoing offshoot of Protestantism. 169 00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:09,161 That is the wrong thing to say to a snake handler. 170 00:09:09,192 --> 00:09:10,642 Easy, Moe, easy. 171 00:09:10,738 --> 00:09:12,957 Ah, this thing's just loaded with rock salt. 172 00:09:12,982 --> 00:09:15,495 I use it to keep the raccoons out of my fridge. 173 00:09:15,532 --> 00:09:18,577 And, of course, to coat the rims of my margarita glasses. 174 00:09:23,322 --> 00:09:25,624 Uh, Padre, can I be honest with you? 175 00:09:25,634 --> 00:09:28,554 I've sucked every church book ribbon there is 176 00:09:28,577 --> 00:09:31,054 hoping to find one made of cherry. 177 00:09:31,085 --> 00:09:32,745 But there isn't. 178 00:09:32,797 --> 00:09:35,216 And if it's such a "good book," 179 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,343 how come there's no blurbs on the back? 180 00:09:37,371 --> 00:09:38,964 Not even David Sedaris. 181 00:09:38,989 --> 00:09:40,723 And he'll flack anything. 182 00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:42,794 Seriously, "pews"? 183 00:09:42,823 --> 00:09:46,317 Homer, I love your passion. It's terrific. It's really something. 184 00:09:46,357 --> 00:09:48,139 Listen, I'm just thinking. 185 00:09:48,195 --> 00:09:50,159 Would you consider being my deacon? 186 00:09:50,178 --> 00:09:53,847 Deacon? Is that like one of those weird Catholic priest things? 187 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:57,250 No, not at all. It's like a sexton or a rector. 188 00:09:57,285 --> 00:09:59,833 Oh, now we're talking. But why me? 189 00:09:59,864 --> 00:10:02,553 Because, if I can get the man who sleeps through church 190 00:10:02,571 --> 00:10:05,298 to be my guy, this town will know 191 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,588 that religion can be fun. 192 00:10:07,634 --> 00:10:11,298 Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. 193 00:10:11,331 --> 00:10:13,669 But, as we say in the snow plow business, 194 00:10:13,687 --> 00:10:15,888 I'm your astronaut. 195 00:10:19,237 --> 00:10:20,443 What do you think? 196 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:22,889 I didn't think Shotgun Mike's Bridal Store 197 00:10:22,908 --> 00:10:25,781 had a nice dress, but you found it. 198 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,606 Homer, you're not supposed to see the dress before the wedding. 199 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,597 Just looking for the bathroom. 200 00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:33,672 This is not the bathroom! 201 00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:36,694 Aw, but this paper towel feels so good. 202 00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:39,208 I'm sorry your dress is gone, Mom. 203 00:10:39,214 --> 00:10:41,461 Oh, sweetie, it's not for me. 204 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:44,238 I wanted you to wear that dress at your wedding. 205 00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:46,136 Well, then, you shouldn't feel bad, 206 00:10:46,148 --> 00:10:49,231 because I can't imagine myself ever getting married. 207 00:10:50,018 --> 00:10:54,166 Homer, your daughter doesn't want to get married. 208 00:10:54,182 --> 00:10:56,533 That would save us several hundred bucks. 209 00:10:56,538 --> 00:10:58,616 Tell her she's wrong! 210 00:10:58,639 --> 00:11:01,035 Right. Uh, I don't understand, Lisa. 211 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,830 We let you get up early to watch the Royal Wedding. 212 00:11:03,856 --> 00:11:05,960 Hey, I have a weakness for pomp. 213 00:11:06,016 --> 00:11:07,922 Since when? 214 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:09,235 So, you see, 215 00:11:09,247 --> 00:11:11,021 what Jesus is saying 216 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:14,654 really can be explained by an episode of Californication. 217 00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:17,034 Oh. 218 00:11:17,062 --> 00:11:19,363 Now Reverend Lovejoy will lead us in song. 219 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:22,602 ♪ God lifts you up where you be... ♪ 220 00:11:23,994 --> 00:11:26,992 ♪ God lifts you up where... 221 00:11:28,266 --> 00:11:30,658 ♪ God lifts you up... 222 00:11:30,781 --> 00:11:32,338 Um... 223 00:11:32,381 --> 00:11:33,344 give me a minute. 224 00:11:33,369 --> 00:11:37,275 Uh, but first, let me introduce our new deacon-- Homer Simpson! 225 00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:39,367 It's an honor, sir. 226 00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,051 Homer Simpson a deacon? But why? 227 00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:45,545 You bring in the lost sheep, and the others will follow. 228 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:48,033 Lost sheep. Yes! Sis boom bah! 229 00:11:49,672 --> 00:11:52,845 I don't think there's a place for me here anymore. 230 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:56,051 Heading for the door, pushing the handle. 231 00:11:57,094 --> 00:11:59,271 Left foot across the threshold. 232 00:11:59,434 --> 00:12:01,434 Now the right. 233 00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:03,792 Walking to car. 234 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,877 Stepped in hole. 235 00:12:05,947 --> 00:12:07,903 Twisted ankle. 236 00:12:08,036 --> 00:12:09,811 Tremendous pain. 237 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,212 Keep it elevated. 238 00:12:15,965 --> 00:12:17,990 Church bulletin? Church bulletin? 239 00:12:18,017 --> 00:12:20,678 Find out in whose loving memory this week's service is. 240 00:12:20,721 --> 00:12:22,838 The answer may shock you. 241 00:12:22,869 --> 00:12:23,726 Dad? 242 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,340 You always hated church. 243 00:12:25,358 --> 00:12:28,301 Now, for the record, I hated the building, 244 00:12:28,324 --> 00:12:30,770 the people in it and the spirit it represented. 245 00:12:30,788 --> 00:12:33,086 I never hated the church itself. 246 00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:37,247 And now, finally, I believe in something bigger than myself. 247 00:12:37,287 --> 00:12:39,755 The only thing bigger than you is you tomorrow. 248 00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,334 Why, you little... 249 00:12:41,365 --> 00:12:42,401 lamb. 250 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:45,696 Oh. Mustn't... kill own son. 251 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,272 Only God can do that. 252 00:12:49,516 --> 00:12:52,968 ♪ Day by day 253 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:56,376 ♪ Day by day 254 00:12:56,399 --> 00:12:59,303 ♪ Oh Dear Lord 255 00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:03,445 ♪ Three things I pray 256 00:13:03,588 --> 00:13:07,457 ♪ To see thee more clearly 257 00:13:07,672 --> 00:13:11,225 ♪ Love thee more dearly 258 00:13:11,401 --> 00:13:14,685 ♪ Follow thee more nearly 259 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,659 ♪ Day by day 260 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:19,639 ♪ Day by day ♪ ♪ Day by day... 261 00:13:21,308 --> 00:13:23,738 Church bulletin? Church bulletin? 262 00:13:23,756 --> 00:13:24,963 Church... 263 00:13:24,994 --> 00:13:26,645 Someone finally took one. 264 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:29,903 I'm mentioned in it 'cause I'm sick. 265 00:13:31,676 --> 00:13:35,308 Sorry, Maggie. I just don't have the touch today. 266 00:13:37,877 --> 00:13:39,740 Mom, I found your wedding dress. 267 00:13:41,582 --> 00:13:42,807 How? 268 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,867 Using something this town has never, ever seen-- 269 00:13:45,903 --> 00:13:48,571 good, honest police work. 270 00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:52,714 I staked out the alley and befriended the garbage man who took it. 271 00:13:52,747 --> 00:13:54,884 Then he gave it to a local theater company, 272 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,269 who used it in the first unsuccessful version 273 00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:58,185 of Mamma Mia. 274 00:13:58,203 --> 00:14:01,335 In a bankruptcy sale, it was bought by a young couple. 275 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,997 That couple right there. 276 00:14:04,019 --> 00:14:06,769 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 277 00:14:07,506 --> 00:14:08,637 Oh. 278 00:14:08,649 --> 00:14:10,737 Thank you for finding it, sweetie. 279 00:14:10,822 --> 00:14:12,885 And seeing someone else get married in it 280 00:14:12,891 --> 00:14:15,160 is better than having it myself. 281 00:14:15,174 --> 00:14:17,402 You never know, Mom. I'm only eight. 282 00:14:17,426 --> 00:14:19,071 I might get married someday, 283 00:14:19,102 --> 00:14:21,018 even if it's only a green card marriage 284 00:14:21,036 --> 00:14:23,577 to keep a Chinese dissident from being deported. 285 00:14:23,605 --> 00:14:26,613 We can have the reception at Wong Lee's. 286 00:14:27,897 --> 00:14:32,772 ♪ Day by day, day by day ♪ 287 00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:37,078 ♪ The deacon's job is pretty okay ♪ 288 00:14:37,096 --> 00:14:39,871 ♪ Pretty okay ♪ 289 00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:43,219 ♪ I'm going to be a deacon, day by day ♪ 290 00:14:43,244 --> 00:14:46,941 ♪ I'm already a deacon, day by day... ♪ 291 00:14:46,981 --> 00:14:50,037 Dad, the Oogle street camera's driving around town today. 292 00:14:50,103 --> 00:14:51,466 Want to go moon it with me? 293 00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:54,530 Son, I'd love to, but I'm a deacon now. 294 00:14:54,574 --> 00:14:57,654 My butt's place is in my pants. 295 00:15:06,085 --> 00:15:07,829 Church songs with clapping. 296 00:15:07,851 --> 00:15:10,473 I don't think this is what Martin Presbyluther had in mind 297 00:15:10,498 --> 00:15:13,325 when he founded our religion by sticking his Three Suggestions 298 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,141 under the Pope's windshield wiper. 299 00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:18,686 Mr. Flanders, this new reverend has thrown tar in your half-pipe, too? 300 00:15:18,727 --> 00:15:21,769 I don't understand that on any level, but yes. 301 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,285 Well, let's get Lovejoy back. 302 00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,448 Do you know where he is? 303 00:15:24,483 --> 00:15:27,873 He's in a place full of brimstone and exposed flesh. 304 00:15:27,904 --> 00:15:29,994 You mean he's selling hot tubs? 305 00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:31,078 Yes. 306 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,435 The 7500 is all about jets, jets, jets. 307 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:39,006 That's the one place you cannot cut corners. 308 00:15:39,024 --> 00:15:40,744 That, of course, and underwater speakers. 309 00:15:40,763 --> 00:15:43,630 - That sounds expensive. - I need this, Apu. 310 00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:45,306 Sir, can you please turn up the bubbles 311 00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:46,694 so we can argue in private here? 312 00:15:46,722 --> 00:15:49,357 We wouldn't have to do this if you remembered your Hindi. 313 00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:50,817 Oh, I remember it. 314 00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:52,980 I'm just pretending I can't understand you. 315 00:15:53,011 --> 00:15:55,147 Reverend, we want you to come back. 316 00:15:55,226 --> 00:15:56,545 Well, let's face it. 317 00:15:56,569 --> 00:15:58,584 I wasn't cut out for that job. 318 00:15:58,613 --> 00:16:00,176 Nobody listened. 319 00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:02,855 Look, the boy's not even listening now. 320 00:16:02,885 --> 00:16:05,712 He's right-- these underwater speakers are amazing. 321 00:16:08,995 --> 00:16:10,843 Reverend, this is just the kind of tomfoolery 322 00:16:10,861 --> 00:16:12,485 that's been on the upswing since you left. 323 00:16:12,509 --> 00:16:15,121 Pure, unadulterated tomfoolery! 324 00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:17,017 We shall take the 7500. 325 00:16:17,046 --> 00:16:19,484 And not a single jet more! 326 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:20,421 Sorry, Ned. 327 00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:23,091 I finally found my calling. 328 00:16:23,301 --> 00:16:25,442 How are you guys fixed for decking? 329 00:16:25,482 --> 00:16:27,229 Oh, what a surprise. 330 00:16:27,248 --> 00:16:30,660 A huge new expense you didn't tell us about. 331 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:31,892 We've lost him. 332 00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:34,136 Buddy, there's a 50 in my vest pocket. 333 00:16:34,185 --> 00:16:36,004 Will you buy us some beers? 334 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,908 The only cool thing about my dad was that he hated church. 335 00:16:41,923 --> 00:16:44,690 And now he's turned into a fat version of Flanders. 336 00:16:44,711 --> 00:16:46,774 - No offense. - None taken. 337 00:16:48,997 --> 00:16:52,285 God doesn't need Twitter to reach people. He uses leprosy and plagues. 338 00:16:52,323 --> 00:16:54,979 Hmm. Plagues. 339 00:16:57,335 --> 00:16:59,293 Ew, locusts. 340 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,389 Darkness. Yawn. 341 00:17:01,468 --> 00:17:02,601 Bingo! 342 00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:05,695 Flanders, are you willing to get Lovejoy back by hook or by crook? 343 00:17:05,718 --> 00:17:08,628 Neither, and I don't like it when other people rhyme. 344 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,376 Yes, but if I do something, 345 00:17:10,401 --> 00:17:12,639 will you look the other way? - Hmm. 346 00:17:12,729 --> 00:17:14,090 I'd like to turn in this boy 347 00:17:14,102 --> 00:17:15,992 for thinking about doing something naughty, 348 00:17:16,029 --> 00:17:19,018 and myself for waiting 30 seconds before bringing him here. 349 00:17:19,052 --> 00:17:20,848 Whatever. Take 'em away, boys. 350 00:17:20,885 --> 00:17:23,931 And that's why Flanders will never, ever be my partner in crime again. 351 00:17:23,962 --> 00:17:26,727 - Thanks for bailing me out. - Yeah, but don't push it. 352 00:17:26,775 --> 00:17:29,736 There's only so many times I can tell Nana it's my birthday. 353 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,631 Now, what's this prank? 354 00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:34,617 First, we got every dead bedbug in town. 355 00:17:34,646 --> 00:17:36,726 To think those exterminators were just 356 00:17:36,745 --> 00:17:38,790 going to throw these beauties away. 357 00:17:38,823 --> 00:17:42,178 Now, to leave a nice, clean trail of bugs out of the swamp. 358 00:17:42,222 --> 00:17:46,092 The frogs follow, and Hooper's got a plague he can't handle. 359 00:17:51,381 --> 00:17:54,079 Ugh! One of these bedbugs is still alive. 360 00:17:56,539 --> 00:17:58,129 Much better. 361 00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,866 Ow! He took my contact! 362 00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:57,618 Aah! Now I got two in one eye! 363 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,093 Remember you said, "When hell freezes over?" 364 00:19:02,124 --> 00:19:04,136 I think this is close enough. 365 00:19:04,164 --> 00:19:06,579 Huh. I'm in no position to argue. 366 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,685 - Help! Help! - What should we do? 367 00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:24,546 We need guidance. 368 00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,202 I have a plan. 369 00:19:26,234 --> 00:19:27,822 Save your civic leaders. 370 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,739 Calm yourselves. In times like this, 371 00:19:30,751 --> 00:19:33,783 there's one almighty being we can put our faith in-- 372 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,775 Reverend Hooper. 373 00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:37,308 It's okay, everyone. 374 00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:39,531 Who here has seen The Blind Side with Sandy Bullock? 375 00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:42,465 Remember when Big Mike was overwhelmed with scholarship offers? 376 00:19:42,501 --> 00:19:44,736 Well, that's kind of how we are with these frogs. 377 00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:46,606 To hell with your references. 378 00:19:47,836 --> 00:19:49,520 We're dying here. 379 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:51,243 I'm more frog than Moe. 380 00:19:53,756 --> 00:19:54,944 Ribbet. Ribbet. 381 00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:56,717 Do something. 382 00:19:56,783 --> 00:19:58,895 Um, video games, uh, Twitter. 383 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,501 Uh, How to Train Your Dragon. 384 00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:02,434 Fight Club. Aah! 385 00:20:05,057 --> 00:20:07,808 The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. 386 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,142 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. 387 00:20:11,226 --> 00:20:14,195 He leadeth me beside the still waters. 388 00:20:14,229 --> 00:20:17,146 He restoreth my soul. 389 00:20:17,169 --> 00:20:20,872 His words have soothed the amphibious beasts! 390 00:20:23,228 --> 00:20:26,207 His boringness saved us all. 391 00:20:26,281 --> 00:20:29,630 Lovejoy! Lovejoy! Lovejoy! 392 00:20:37,198 --> 00:20:39,299 Where do you think you're going? 393 00:20:39,897 --> 00:20:41,875 Let us pray. 394 00:20:45,925 --> 00:20:48,184 All right, we collected all the personal information 395 00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,378 from Flanders comma Ned. 396 00:20:50,428 --> 00:20:52,022 Let's move on to the next house. 397 00:20:52,058 --> 00:20:53,286 Hmm, that's weird. 398 00:20:53,304 --> 00:20:57,250 Four spheres-- two small, two gigantic. 399 00:20:57,401 --> 00:20:59,007 Better zoom in. 400 00:21:00,105 --> 00:21:02,385 Compliments of the deacon. 401 00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:06,287 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 402 00:21:06,313 --> 00:21:13,276 ♪ Day by day, day by day 403 00:21:13,612 --> 00:21:16,204 ♪ I've got three kids ♪ 404 00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:18,572 ♪ And two are okay ♪ 405 00:21:18,590 --> 00:21:20,924 ♪ Two are okay ♪ 406 00:21:20,966 --> 00:21:24,202 ♪ One of them is the baby ♪ 407 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:28,296 ♪ The smart one is mine maybe ♪ 408 00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:31,770 ♪ I hope the boy gets rabies ♪ 409 00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:36,145 ♪ Day by day by day ♪ 410 00:21:36,592 --> 00:21:39,794 ♪ Day by day ♪ 411 00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:43,544 ♪ Oh, I pray ♪ 412 00:21:44,028 --> 00:21:46,259 ♪ Day by day by day ♪ 413 00:21:46,296 --> 00:21:48,431 ♪ By day. ♪ 414 00:21:48,913 --> 00:21:51,264 Shh!